Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Ultra Lux Comfort Trouser Pant

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1. For the past 6 or so months, I’ve been having trouble with my screen time- specifically on my phone. If I’m not doomscrolling the news, I am window-shopping online. I seem to not have this issue while using a laptop!

   Things I’ve attempted: using phone settings for screen time & blocking certain sites, keeping phone off and put away, leaving phone at home during working hours. I seem to end up circumventing and returning to my old habits within a week or so.

   Has anyone become a reformed news junkie?

   1. Just saying I have the same problem and am eagerly hoping for recommendations. One rule I manage to follow is no scrolling in bed, either after I wake up or before I go to sleep. That leaves all of my waking hours. Help (and I already deleted Facebook from my phone).

      1. Same. Literally did not do any news after 2016 election. And even in 2020 I worked an ton and my SO was glued so he would advise of updates.

         For whatever reason this summer I got completely addicted to it from scrolling to podcasts.

   2. Me! Well, at least for several weeks in the making. Things I have done – delete all social media from my phone (and I don’t use it on my laptop). It’s still on my ipad, and I can look at it if I want, but it’s a bit more work, and I don’t tend to fall down rabbit holes on the ipad. I leave my ipad at work, so if I want to look at it on my phone at night, I’ve got to re-download it. I rarely bother doing so in the evenings because I’m not THAT bored.
      I use the Opal app to block news sites from my phone during the workday. Again, can still look at it on my browser, but don’t fall down a hole like I do on my phone. Opal is a paid app, but it really speaks to me – it blocks the apps well, including with a feature that you cannot get around easily, and importantly, if you want to take a break from a block, it makes you wait a few seconds, which really helps with the reset of “do I really want to do this?”
      Finally, I started bringing my kindle with me, so if I am bored and waiting, I can read a book.

   3. How to Break Up with Your Phone was actually good despite the title.

      For spending screen time differently, I get books and magazines on Libby. Magazines are short and easy, but the quality of the writing and editing are almost shockingly better vs. most of what’s scrollable online. I also make an effort to actually watch a show sometimes. I find that I feel better spending the same time on something narrative that has a beginning and an end.

   4. I recently went into Twitter, went to change my password, typed in a random string of characters that I don’t even know what they are, changed it, then logged out. Now, I can’t log in to Twitter without going through password recovery. If any of the sites you’re addicted to have logins, I recommend this approach.

      Also, TBH my phone use (and binge eating sugar, FWIW) cut down severely when a major stressor in my life was removed. Are there sources of stress/misery in your life that you can address?

      1. This is genius.

      2. I’m definitely using food as a palliative as well.

         I’m sitting/studying for professional exams, started a new job, gained an injury that limits my regular exercise, and dealing with some politically related change in my social life.

         When I write it all out, it seems pretty obvious that scrolling, shopping, and munchies are just symptoms. This is why I love posting here. Thank you!

   5. Some thoughts — use a real alarm clock, not the one on your phone, and keep your phone out of the bedroom totally. Remove news apps and replace them — and specifically replace their location where you might navigate to them out of habit– with apps that support your hobbies and interests, for me that means Duolingo, Kindle, Artsy, etc. Give yourself 15 minutes scheduled daily to check the news and stay up to date, as this will help prevent the urge to scroll later.

      As far as circumvention, you may want to look into why you work around these processes. Is it fomo/anxiety that you’ll miss something important? Is shopping/doomscrolling comforting? Is it just a habit that will take repeated attempts to break? No matter the cause you’ll probably need to address the root of the problem directly in addition to some of the supportive steps I’ve mentioned above. For example, when I exercise more and am politically active, I doomscroll less because I’m less anxious and more involved in my community, so have a sense of control over the situation.

      1. Yes, the phone out of the bedroom was the real game-changer for me. I use a real alarm clock, and an actual Kindle device for reading books in bed. It’s helped a LOT. Also I plug my phone into the charger in the kitchen after dinner and either watch TV or read books on my Kindle in the evenings, and that is quite helpful, too.

   6. I think the trick is to replace that time with something intentional. Join a local group or pick up a hobby, or have dinner with a friend.

      1. +1 good to have lots of IRL activities, but have modest ambitions to start. I often use my phone to veg out, so I try to find replacements IRL to veg out when my phone time gets too much.

         For me, it involves lots of light books from the library: entertaining and food books with pretty photos, books written by comedians, etc. Once I wean off my phone, I can move on to slightly more serious books, but this process has to be slow. If I move too fast, I’ll go right back to my phone.

   7. Don’t focus on doing *less* on your phone. Focus on doing *more* off it.

      In other words: you need an offline hobby! You need a physical newspaper instead of online news! You need to go to the mall and try clothes on!

      As you get more jazzed about your offline life, the phone will become less appealing. You will have to establish boundaries that make sense for you to make time for your offline life…but having stuff you’re truly jazzed about will help you do that.

   8. Delete all the apps you don’t absolutely need. You may still go on the sites, but its more work.
      Have a plan for what you’ll do instead. Ideally if its something tactical. CLeaning the house might work.

   9. Try out on gray scale which removes all colors. It’ll suck the joy out of the phone immediately. Google how to turn on.

   10. Not yet. But I did delete my X account and had the data erased. And I am planning on subscribing to better quality reporting, so if I scroll I at least get a bit more actual information. Suggestions? I was thinking possibly The Atlantic, but I do find them a bit smug. And I need something good for financial news. I sprang for Bloomberg but found it too fjnance focused; it didn’t cover why the supply chains were tangled, just that shipping costs had risen. I used to get that from the WSJ at work, but I refuse to support them.

       1. You do you, but the WSJ is not exactly an extremist paper, and I would examine whether you are rejecting news that is credible but perhaps does not align with your pre-existing beliefs (and whether doing so aligns with your overall principles).

          1. The editorials as WSJ absolutely can be extremist. The newsroom, which is separate, is defnitely right-skewing but not extremist. I’ve read WSJ for 20+ years.

             And I’m a leftie, FWIW.

             1. Yeah, and I think moderate right-wing folks would say the same about the NYT’s editorialists. That doesn’t mean that the newsroom does not produce serious, credible journalism.

             2. Yeah, I just checked again and they are leading with an article, not an opinion piece, on how much seniors are costing the taxpayers by not switching to Medicare advantage plans. Not a word about how the plans are just another insurance carrier randomly denying claims, or how they can discriminate in ways that ACA insurers can’t.

             3. I am looking at the WSJ’s website now and do not see any such article. It may just have fallen off the front page. What was the article called?

       2. The Guardian is excellent reporting. Free to view but I donate so that they can continue to provide high quality news. FT is good for business and also has interesting weekend articles. They’re different ends of the political spectrum, so a good balance.

       3. Try the Guardian newspaper. Also, McLatchey (sp?) news used to be a decent wire service, but I don’t know if they skew to one side or the other these days. Used to be free, too, but I haven’t check recently, might have a paywall by now.

       4. I have the google news app, set it up to my areas of interest, and then subscribe to the NYTimes and WaPo (I know I know) so if those stories come up in the feed I can click on them.

       5. I think you’d need to turn to industry news for anything accurate and substantial on something like supply chains.

   11. I agree with many of the suggestions you’ve already gotten. I’ve found deleting social media apps from my phone during the week to be particularly helpful. I also purchased a device called the Brick and that has been really helpful for me during the workday. You have to tap your phone on it to block or unblock and I leave it in my car. So if I really need to get to a blocked app during the day I can, but I would have to leave the office and go to the parking garage so I’m not doing it unless it’s truly urgent.

   12. Thank you all. This has given me a lot to think about, appreciate the recommendations.
       Just trying to keep my head above water for the next 4 years.

       1. Everyone’s given alot of good suggestions.
          One last one that’s counter intuitive: Mindfulness – Make scrolling a conscious decision for how you are spending time. Give yourself permission to scroll for a set period of time like you would any other activity but sit down and actually say to yourself I’m going to scroll on my phone for a bit, I’m choosing to do this as my activity right now.

          I swear doing this has helped me recognize better when I’m scrolling because I want to be and I’m enjoying it, and when I’m scrolling to pacify some feeling or boredom.

2. I find myself wearing less gold jewelry and looking for a black belt with a covered black buckle rather than a gold-tone one to wear with pants (so not too thin or thick). Anyone have or seen anything they’d recommend? Budget $150 or under.

   1. BB has a simple one with a silver buckle, though lucky S only right now.
      https://www.brooksbrothers.com/leather-trouser-belt/WB00184.html?pid=WB00184&dwvar_WB00184_Color=BLCK

   2. Talbots – https://www.talbots.com/soft-pebble-leather-covered-buckle-belt/P193061560.html?cgid=accessories-belts&dwvar_P193061560_color=DARK%20BROWN&dwvar_P193061560_sizeType=AC#start=1&sz=36

      1. Dang, I really like that.

3. Ugh, I can’t believe I’m posting this, and if you are extremely opposed to Taylor Swift don’t keep reading.

   Should I buy a resale ticket to the Taylor Swift concert? Cost would be around $1.5-2k CAD all in for me. I live close, so no other additional expenses other than an outfit/drinks.

   I’ve tried every chance I could for face value tickets, I tried to get production drops, stage drops, entered contests, etc. My and my partner’s Ticketmaster accounts aren’t even allowed to enter queues because we aren’t selected! I am not a huge Swifty, but I like pop music, and her pop music in particular. I love theatre and spectacle, and I think this will be both. I love communal experiences and crowd energy and etc etc.

   But obviously it is hard to justify the cost in an abstract sense. We don’t budget by percentages, it’s just “pay for necessities and choose some wants” and save the rest. So in the abstract, it’s hard to tell if I’ve lost my mind or this is a reasonable want.

   I try to think what I would do with the $2k instead and nothing is really coming to mind – we’re already taking the vacations I want, there isn’t anything in particular I want to buy, savings are good…

   Ugh, talk me off a ledge. Or onto it. At this point I’m targeting a concert for next Thursday and would buy day of, so I have a bit of time to decide.

   1. if you’re willing to gamble, wait until after the show starts to buy. Like go to the venue and sit there and wait.

      1. I agree with this to a degree- you’ll likely get better seats this way but not cheaper seats. In Indianapolis the floor seats were going for $2,000 after show time.

      2. Not OP but I would find that very stressful. It’s supposed to be enjoyable. I’d spend the money now for a sure thing.

   2. Yes, get tickets and go. It’s the most incredible show I’ve ever seen in my life. A once in a lifetime event. And I liked TS before I saw it, but would never have called myself a fan. That’s changed.

      1. Agree with this 1000%. I liked her a lot, but wasn’t what I’d call a Swiftie. I spent even more than you’re proposing to see her this year and it was absolutely worth it. One of the best nights of my life. Make sure you get a seat where you can see the main stage, the art on it adds a lot to the performance.

         1. And yes, agree with the poster below: make the friendship bracelets (make a LOT of them!). Wear them to the airport and all weekend long. Make a lot of child size, because kids were often the ones who approached me to trade (I used a shower curtain ring to hold them). Dress up in all the sequins, and buy the blue crewneck sweatshirt at merch. Go all in– you won’t regret it!

            1. FWIW, I just bought the friendship bracelets on Etsy, but absolutely bring them and participate and go all in

   3. I would go in a hot second if I could afford it. Make sure the tickets are legit though!

      1. I would not go b/c it is to expensive, and you can watch her on Youtube for nothing. She is a billionaire and does not feed for the homeless perched outside her home, and has body guards even tho she is dating a big hulk of a football player. Now that she is in her mid 30’s, I bet she gets pregnant with his child.

   4. You will not regret. It. Buy and go.

   5. I’ve chosen not to go to Eras because I watched the movie and TBH there were parts (like songs I don’t know as well) where I was kind of bored. I also am somewhat cynical about stadium events where you’re watching the entire thing on a huge screen anyway and it’s kind of like – well I could have watched a screen at home. Plus when you get into astronomical costs like that, the cost-per-minute starts to stress me out (in this case, about $10 per!) and dampens my enjoyment.

      1. As a counter to that, a huge part of the TS Eras Tour experience was the rest of the crowd. If you want to reignite your faith in humanity, it’s a good way. The crowd was easily the kindest, most excited crowd I’ve ever been in.

         1. Yep, I’ve gone live and seen the movie and it’s not even close to the same thing.

   6. 100% would go if it was in my city and could afford easily. I definitely agree that it’s way more money than I would normally spend on a concert, but I think if you decide to pass, you’ll regret it in the future.

   7. There is no way I would spend that much money on a concert, especially when it wasn’t my favorite band/singer of all time. It sounds like you can afford it, but I would just spend the whole night thinking this isn’t $2,000 of fun.

      1. I spent 1500 and spent the whole night thinking it was worth 3000

   8. GO! I felt similarly – I like Taylor Swift but did not consider myself a Swiftie. My sister, on the other hand, is a huge Swiftie, and talked me into flying to Europe for a show this summer from the US. With flights and hotels, it definitely was over $2k for just me (though we made a whole vacation out of it). My deciding factor to go was, when am I ever going to do something like this again? I felt like the Eras Tour has become such an iconic thing, and I wanted to be part of it. It was absolutely the right decision.

      We did all the things – bought sparkly dresses, made friendship bracelets in our hotel room, got all the merch. The show itself was unlike any concert I’ve been to. It was such an incredible day overall, it still makes me smile to think about.

   9. Omg yes do it right now. I spent 1500 and it was worth every penny and in fact worth double. It’s the best thing I’ve done all year. Stop reading here and buy it right now

   10. I’d do it based on what you’ve written here.

   11. I’ve spent 2k on shows before for artists I really love, and it was worth it (it took all my self control to not sob when I met my favourite musician). Honestly this is a matter of how much you would enjoy the concert and no one can really determine that but you.

   12. Don’t go. If you are fretting over whether it is worth it, then it is not worth it to you. No judgment for those die hards who don’t blink at the cost because they are obsessed, but you aren’t one of them. (well, some judgment)

       1. Love people judging me, a fully employed financially solvent adult, for spending money that I earned and saved, for an experience I treasure.

       2. I feel sorry for you, life must be tough never enjoying anything.

          1. I haven’t had a single pumpkin-spiced thing this fall, either. It’s a miserable existence.

             1. Wow, you’re so cool.

             2. Definitely not like other girls.

       3. Maybe she is one of us that are “vaguely made of money”.

       4. You’re getting piled on, but your metric is absolutely sane and thoughtful: if you wonder if it’s worth the money, it probably isn’t.

          1. Counterpoint: plenty of us who grew up poor or with financially irresponsible parents struggle with evaluating whether things are “worth it” because our frameworks are skewed.

             1. That’s an exception to the rule, and she shouldn’t get piled on like this. The Mean Girl routine around here gets old.

   13. Do it! I am very frugal and I don’t like usually like concerts, but I have spent relatively large amounts of money on concerts for particular artists I care about. Seeing them in person with an excited crowd is not the same as watching a movie.

       I saw Prince when I could barely afford it, and I will remember it for the rest of my life. I am so glad I saw him before he passed. I saw Beyonce last summer and it was a giant spectacle.

   14. I am very jealous of this situation. Any chance I would have would have been a $4k+ several days endeavor and I could not justify. GOOOO!

   15. I’m just refreshing this page waiting for the update that you got tickets!

   16. Resale tickets, especially at that price point, are too risky for me, so it would be a non-starter. There are so many ticket resale scams out there.

       1. This is where I fall. It sounds like you have the money and wouldn’t be giving up anything else you want and it would be worth it, but I would be worried about scams.

   17. Do it!! It will be worth every penny. I was a casual fan before but am obsessed now. I have never experienced anything like the crowd there-so much positivity and love.

   18. I went to Indy, it was amazing. I was concerned about resale, plugged my nose and paid the service fees for one of the sites that guarantees the purchase.
       I’ve never paid that much for a show, definitely would do it again. Took my daughter, restored (some of) my faith in humanity.
       Show does not compare to movie. Both great for different reasons.

   19. I’ve spent that much on show tickets and never regretted it. I say do it!

   20. Thanks everyone for the perspectives and encouragement – I think it has pushed me over the ledge to “yes, definitely going,” and will start planning my outfit and days accordingly. Gotta make friendship bracelets!

       I’m going to hold off on the ticket though until shortly before and take the gamble for a slightly better price. Plus who knows – they haven’t done stage drop tickets for nights 3-6, theoretically I could still maybe get one in the queue HAHAHAHA.

       One thing that stuck out to me was from the commenter who said “if you are questioning if it is worth it, it isn’t.” I guess I question whether almost everything I buy is worth it? Like, should I spent $1.50 more for free range eggs? Should I see this in theatres for $20 or watch at home later? Should I buy the anker powercord for $20 or the amazon version for $15? Isn’t that just life, and asking the question doesn’t mean it isn’t worth it to pay more/pay for something?

       1. And self reply – I will only buy from Stubhub because of the protections, so no fake tix for me. :)

       2. I grew up poor and I also question whether every single thing is worth it. “It’s just that simple” never works for me.

       3. Me, on the other hand, I always am happy I spent the money. Whereas every time I fly coach I wish I were in business… (Probably just me, but there you have it.)

          1. Same here. I love spending money! I save plenty so the rest is meant to be spent on living my life while I can!

             1. You have to have a LOT of money to be able to buy everything you want, though. We save a lot, but for us $2,000 is still a choice between a Taylor Swift ticket and a very nice getaway for the entire family. Most people don’t have enough money to do both. So you have to prioritize.

             2. Okay? I am not sure I said people can’t prioritize? The OP seems to have the money to spend on this and it doesn’t appear that it is needed to pay a bill or other necessity (what is necessary is up to the individual). To sum, it sounds like she can have this so if she wants to, she should and not feel bad about it.

   21. If the seats are decent just do it. If not, then you could gamble and try to get better tickets last minute but I’m feeling on the edge of the apocalypse as a U.S. citizen so my current mentality is enjoy life while you can.

   22. I’m not a swiftie but took my daughter. It’s a grand spectacle even if you’re not into her music. Daughter says she’ll never forget it.

4. I know we have talked about this, but since it looks like there is a real possibility that RFK Jr may be the new HHS secretary, is there anything we should be doing before that happens? I believe I am up-to-date on all my vaccines.

   1. Eagerly awaiting to see how this Make America Fit Again thing goes. I suspect that gyms and the fitness industry are not at all worried about things. Denmark is not worried that Novo Dordisk stock will take (aparently it is large enough to love the Danish economy).

      1. Going to the gym is great for bones, muscles, and cardiovascular health, but it’s not going to obviate the need for GLP1s or it would have done so by now.

         1. The only people I know who admit to taking GLP1s are the people who can’t or won’t go to the gym. The gymgoers may still be overweight but they don’t want to or can’t afford to go on the drugs. It’s mostly an either/or thing among regular folks. Maybe different in Hollywood and among the rich people who read here.

            1. In that case you know a very small number of people on GLP1s. I actually know several people taking them who started going to the gym or otherwise exercising for the first time because of their doctor’s concerns about muscle loss (and in one case because when he lost weight his knees and back stopped hurting so badly he could hardly walk).

            2. Oooh, we found a hater! I take GLP1 and strength train 4x a week.

            3. I am a yoga teacher (in addition to my actual job) and take a GLP-1. I guess I should also share my cardio credentials to see if I am worthy.

         2. There are more gym deserts in America than there are grocery deserts, and there are real barriers to access to gyms even in the areas where they do exist (cost, stigma, etc.). I really hope RFK Jr. fails to get confirmed (and think he probably will), but I would be super down with subsidizing gym membership and/or otherwise directing federal funding to increasing access to fitness activities. I doubt that’s what he means by all of this, but there is a germ of a progressive idea to be had here.

            1. Going outdoors and running and walking is free. Why make it harder?

            2. I belong to a nonprofit gym in a gym desert and this is the whole concept – higher-earning, full-paying members subsidize the cost of memberships for others with less disposable income.

            3. I am avid gym-goer, but I don’t think governmental subsidizing of gym memberships is a rational use of our limited government resources. If you want to join a gym like that, join the Y, which takes it into consideration. But otherwise, getting in shape does not require a gym. Just go walk. Get outside.

            4. Enacting transportation policy to get people out of cars and make active transportation safer would go a long way to improving fitness AND saving people money (being able to go from 2 cars to 1 or 1 to 0 is a huge savings!).
               But I don’t think that’s what any of the incoming administration has in mind.

            5. Yeah, I’m a Y member, but I’m very confused about the concept of a “gym desert.” Food desert, sure, everyone needs healthy food and if you live in an urban area, you probably need to buy it from a store. But there are places to walk/run and things to lift literally everywhere. You can do jumping jacks and calisthenics with about 10 square feet of floor space. You do not need special equipment to get exercise, you just need to move your body.

            6. Gyms make it easier! Of course you /can/ exercise with a tape in your living room, and I do, but I also pay for a rec center pass because some days swimming in a heated pool or using their fun balance training equipment or the energy of a group class sounds more appealing than jumping jacks in my dingy basement or a run in the don’t-exercise-outdoors air quality. If I had infinite willpower, sure, I could almost always exercise for free – but I absolutely spend money to make it more appealing, and it’s reasonable to want more people to have the ability to choose those things too

            7. Outside is often far too cold or hot for people w/health issues (look up winter hypertension or how many meds have “heat intolerance as a side effect”). Not to mention the risks of cars and pollution in neighborhoods that never invested in side walks.

               I feel commercial gyms are often stinky and germ ridden, and staff can be caught up in bro science. But I support hospitals that are opening well ventilated facilities with trained PTs.

            8. I can spot the people who have never lived in suburban Texas or an area with random street crime, haha. In Texas (and other parts of the South), there are no sidewalks or bike lanes. It’s hot as balls out. You will get hit by a car. There’s no beautiful path to walk on. And in areas with random street crime or gang violence…the risks are obvious and real to the people who live there (many of whom have PTSD from living in a violent neighborhood).

            9. “Transportation policy will make everyone fit” is one of those idealistic liberal talking points that is not feasible in real life. We can’t just instantaneously knock down all the suburbs and build dense housing with public tr@nsit. Stuff like this is why we lost the election.

            10. Also encouraging flexible work from home policies would give people a lot more time to exercise. I don’t see that happening either.

            11. I’ve got the all around ick for gyms but agree that as long as you can get out in the weather where you are, just walking or running can be great and yield fantastic results.

            12. Y’all are making it too hard. When I lived rural, I went to the local high school and used their track.

            13. I did live in TX for a couple years and agree the heat was miserable, but I still ran outside (in the morning) and biked, and I built up a tolerance to it over time. Humans have lived in hot climates for thousands of years, and they haven’t all been obese! I just can’t believe gym deserts a primary factor keeping people from living a healthier lifestyle.

            14. 12:32, no one said it’ll make everyone fit. No one’s coming for your SUV any time soon, but try and have a little imagination that other ways are possible.

            15. Seriously, how are you going to get people out of their cars and walking immediately? Do you know what it takes to build a light rail system?

            16. 2:08, actually I live in a unicorn walkable suburb, WFH, and drive a Prius. Most people don’t have all those choices, and you can’t conjure them from thin air.

   2. Stock up on froot loops!

      1. I think I will go buy a box just to be rebellious.

   3. The fear factor is just out of control here. No there is nothing to do. Pharma companies and insurance companies will still want to profit from vaccines. You will be able to get all of them. The process just doesn’t work that an agency head can suddenly prevent the population from getting access to things like that. It’s a funny meme but there is no need to catastrophize in reality. And look I’m a democrat, I voted for Harris, but this kind of spinning isn’t doing anyone any favors.

      1. Vaccines may profit insurance companies (though sometimes not as much as when people just die), but pharma really struggles to profit off vaccines.

         Agencies can withdraw products over safety concerns; did we forget about the baby formula already? That is the plan here.

         1. +1 the case over mifepristone is the scenario to watch out for: putting a challenge to a specific drug based on shoddy standing in front of a known extremist judge to challenge the right of the FDA to approve drugs.

            The other thing I’m worried about is that the NIH funds most basic medical research in the US- putting grant funding behind rehashing “vaccines cause autism” instead of actual research needs is going to dilute the US’s ability to address actual patient needs.

      2. I think you’re being overly dismissive of people’s concerns. RFK jr is stupid and confident,and he will oversee the HHS. This is bad. People should prepare.

         1. How though is the question? Worry for worry’s sake is just self-harm.

            1. I said people should prepare, not just worry.

         2. I am in the industry, and there are already reports that people are leaving the agencies rather than serve underneath him

            1. This is not good.

      3. I don’t really get that people are so at ease. I remember when we were discussing here when Kavanaugh and Barrett were added to SCOTUS and people were absolutely convinced that Roe v Wade was untouchable. That Trump was going to do a peaceful transition of power. He wasn’t going to wreck the economy because it would hurt rich people. We still got tariffs and spiking oil prices. Surely he was going to be a strong leader in the face of Putin’s aggression, pushing back against commies is conservative tradition after all.
         Conservatives have been talking for years about rescinding FDA approval for abortion meds and contraceptives. They talk about a national abortion ban and that it would be more convenient if women didn’t vote. Trump’s previous presidency attempted a lot of things that were either caught by legal guardrails or reversed when he stopped being president. For four years they’ve been preparing for those things to not stand in their way. Even this week, people make a shocked picachu face at the cabinet nominations as though he’s not been saying for years he would only select for loyalty this time, because competent people are in the way.
         He’s doing exactly what he said he would, which he also tried last time. Yet you sit here going “oh he’s not actually going to do the bad thing”.

         1. Yeah it’s Democrats who talk big and then once in office try to compromise and keep the peace. Not MAGA.

            1. They didn’t talk big this time.

      4. This sounds like what people were saying here about COVID in early 2020. Not a big deal, you are crazy and need to be medicated for anxiety if you are worried and considering buying masks.

         1. I think some people never stopped thinking this!

            1. Raises hand. Still think the reaction was extreme and did lasting damage to this country.

            2. Uh maybe the lasting damage came from the million+ people who died?

            3. both and. My kids were preK through 1st grade when the world shut down. I was very fortunate to be able to put them in a private school in person (with masks and weekly covid testing as mandated by the county) when public school was virtual and hybrid for the entire 2020-21 school year, but the learning loss and the social impact from virtual learning was a lot. And I do believe the mask mandates for children had an impact on social-emotional learning. My kid’s teacher noted a level of “casual cruelty” in the
               2020 K class that she’d never seen before in her 20 years of teaching.

               I’m not saying we shouldn’t have worn masks in May 2020, but I’m pretty sure the data has shown there was more harm than good in keeping the closures and mask mandates as long as some very blue places did. not to mention the culture war boiling over.

            4. The point is that people here assumed Covid wasn’t even going to hit the US, much less become a pandemic that shut the whole world down. Yet it did.

            5. The point is that people here think a lot of the impact was a self-fulfilling prophecy and a choice (I don’t agree).

            6. This whole fuck grandma and the healthcare industry because “my children and my freedom” line of thought needs to die. You’ve been proven wrong. Just stop.

            7. it’s not that, though. wearing a mask is very effective at an individual level. mask mandates at the community level didn’t move the needle much on death rates (probably partly because you couldn’t tell every a-hole to put it over their nose constantly) and arguably had a lot of negative consequences. I love my grandma, and she is currently wearing a mask because there’s a COVID case in her assisted living facility. not because it’s mandatory, but because she wants to stay healthy.

               there was a lot of incompetent messaging about masks during the pandemic, and I do think they saved lives, but mask mandates were excessive in some places and there are consequences to that.

            8. Two-way masking is way more effective than one-way masking of healthy people.

            9. This is very telling, to me

               https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/pressroom/sosmap/covid19_mortality_final/COVID19.htm

         2. I heard there was a playbook …….

      5. Did you not follow the abortion pill case? A Trumpy judge actually ruled it had to be withdrawn as dangerous. The ruling was overturned, but only because the plaintiffs didn’t have standing, not on the merits. Similar litigation would be likely if under RFK Jr.

      6. I don’t think the fear factor is out of control here. I’m very scared about what could happen if he gets confirmed. We’ve already experienced vaccine shortages in the recent past and rationing of them (especially RSV last year). There’s a very real possibility this will result in future shortages.

         I’m not sure there’s much to do to prepare. I’d get all the recommended vaccines and preventative care in as soon as you can. This is extreme but I’m renewing my passport and getting my kids ones in case medical tourism is necessary (I’ll openly say this one is more fear based but I don’t think it’s completely outside the realm of possibility).

      7. +1, and he has explicitly said in interviews that he will not be reducing access to vaccines.

         1. Ooh, and we haven’t seen a nominee lie about their intentions prior to getting the job! Cue up references to what Brett Kavanaugh and Amy Comey Barrett said about Roe.

   4. I looked up the HPV vaccine and the earliest my kids can get it. The “Christian” base is really pearl-clutchy about that one

      1. Which makes no sense. Why would you expose your wives, sisters, mothers, and daughters to a disease that could kill them and rob them of their fertility? Assuming they are children when they get the shots, they couldn’t consent to sex so should forced sex kill them or make them have to have a hysterectomy? A friend can’t have kids because her adult step bro molested her and she got cerival cancer from him. Protect the women = give them shots because you can’t lock up bad men fast enough.

         1. I agree, it is literally a vaccine to prevent cancer. My best guess is these “Christians” believe that if people sleeping around before marriage get HPV, oh well they deserved it. It would never happen to THEIR pure children. And giving the shot to kids is basically condoning having lots of sex.

            (Never mind that their children’s partners could have acquired it prior to marrying them, or the actual teen sex rates in their communities, etc)

         2. They see this vaccine as promoting s3x and against purity culture, where a girl remains a pure and pristine virgin until marriage and has only 1 partner. So no need for a vaccine. OFC this ignores rampant childhood s3xual abuse, such as in churches…

            1. Tell them their boys could get penis cancer if they are infected by HPV. True facts.

            2. And the fact that the boys are going around picking up HPV so they can give it to their pure wives. The right does love a tragic dead-mom-leaves-behind-widower-with-kids story, though.

            3. It’s not boys who are giving young girls HPV in these communities. It’s grown men.

            4. It is a little creepy to normalize this and plan on it. I guess it’s a harm reduction things (many people struggle with distinguishing facilitation and accommodation of harm with reducing harm).

            5. Head and neck cancers as well!
               Most cases of head and neck cancers are HPV driven and head and neck is one of the BAD cancers with really awful survival rates.

         3. Because according to them, doing anything that would facilitate or make safer s*xual activity that they don’t approve of is wrong. According to them, if you live your life the “right” way, you won’t ever be at risk for HPV. It’s egregious. And if she is molested, it was god’s will. (Blech.)

         4. Plenty of people who have never been active with anyone else do marry each other (I did), so there is pushback against the idea that women NEED this.

            There is the longstanding belief that “but SA” is an excuse for something that would not be confined to that rule.

            There is a belief that part of being adult enough for gardening is being adult enough to get The Pill, an IUD, vaccines, have your partner tested, etc. If that involves planning ahead, good! Young people should plan ahead when it comes to being intimate.

            1. I waited for marriage, but I was not lucky enough to fall in love with a man who had done the same. There are approximately zero men in this world who wait and are not also extremist weirdos, so unfortunately if you want to get married you usually have to lower your standards and consider men who have not waited.

            2. Planning ahead by getting the HPV vaccine as an adult is a minimum of a six-month process.

            3. Yes, do what you want with your kids, as long as it stays available for other people’s (and isn’t pulled for more investigation into “safety”, as the anti-vaxxers claim this one is dangerous).

               I have had one partner and I married him, but he had been with others before me. And I am SO GLAD my mom was an early adopter on this and got all her daughters the vaccine, even those she is a “wait until marriage” proponent, not knowing what the future held. My sisters and I know many peers who have had HPV and also struggled with infertility…I don’t think that is pure coincidence, and HPV is rampant.

               Even if a girl waits on PIV, as mentioned there are a host of head and neck cancers that can result from HPV and you can get it…ahem other ways.

               Like, if someone told us there was a vaccine against breast cancer we would rejoice. THIS IS A VACCINE AGAINST CANCER, don’t be dumb!

            4. I agree that these are the talking points – I grew up in a conservative, religious area to conservative (but not terribly religious) parents, and this was the messaging I got.

               My concern: As I understand it there is no reliable test for HPV in men (i.e. blood tests or swab tests). I am a big proponent of testing and being responsible, but HPV isn’t the same as other STIs where it can be detected in both men and women reliably. So even if all parties are testing and all contact is consensual, HPV can still be transmitted unknowingly.

            5. There is no test for HPV in men. HPV is also spread via skin contact, even in the absence of intercourse.

            6. Realistically this just isn’t how public health works, like many STIs, HPV is mostly asymptomatic in men. There is no approved test for HPV in men, and there are many, many strains. Women are really screened for cervical cancer more than they are for HPV specifically. And people lie right? You can’t really know for sure that your partner is truthful about their sexual history when there can be so much stigma around all aspects of it.

   5. Call your senators and urge them not to confirm him!

      1. Does this really matter, though outside of the three or four Republicans that might be convinced that he is evil? Would it be better to send postcards or whatever to the people who live in the states where those three or four senators are?

         1. It is really only effective to call your own senators/congressmen. They only care about their own voters. Even calling your Democratic reps is helpful because you are telling them how much you want them to fight.

            1. My senators are Laphonza Butler, soon to be Adam Schiff, and Alex Padilla. They already agree with me before I contact them.

      2. Lmao but my senator is JD and a used car salesman now

   6. I agree in theory that the US food production system is in the garbage can, and I love the ideas of more sustainable farming, banning Roundup, etc.

      But these red-voting rural farmers are the ones using Roundup and growing almost exclusively corn and soybeans (the inputs to the garbage system!). Sure, focus on “food dyes”, but if they really want to reform the system, they have to go after the livelihoods of almost every American farmer. Which is not a bad thing in my mind, but is further evidence of the huge disconnect between what his voters say they want and the unintended consequences

      1. Almost all their ideas would require more regulation, not less.

         1. This is where I am confused. RFK’s ideas seem to run directly counter to all of Trump’s preferences for letting corporations and billionaires do whatever they want.

   7. I’m trying to not catastrophize on this one, but I work in healthcare finance and I’m dreading the next two years of health policy. On a large scale, I’m most concerned about people losing their coverage from Medicaid and the ACA, which will result in more deferred care, more crowding in emergency rooms, and less revenue going to the hospitals and health systems serving the most needy patients.

      Individually, my biggest fear is epidemics. If RFKJ is approved, eliminating vaccine mandates might be one of his first moves since it has broad support in the MAGAverse. Measles is already making inroads in under-vaccinated communities, and is terrifyingly contagious. If you have an appointment with your PCP, it’s worthwhile to ask for a measles titer to see if you still have immunity from your vaccines. If needed, you can get a new booster.

      Also – and this is more about the whole incoming federal government – if you are able, it’s smart to stockpile some Plan B, which has a 4-year shelf life.

      1. Counterpoint – don’t go overboard with stockpiling. I’m a nonprofit women’s health clinic exec, and a few years ago we had an donor who was angry we wouldn’t accept a donation of 1K doses of Plan B that she stockpiled during Trump 1. It was about to expire, and I had to explain we can’t accept medication from a private individual.

         1. Totally fair. I’m thinking 10 doses, not 1000.

      2. All of this. And I don’t think most people realize that “others” going uninsured is ultimately going to result in higher prices for them as those costs shift onto those with employer-backed commercial plans to help offset the radical increase in uncompensated self-pay. That was the true value of the ACA getting more folks covered.

         I also don’t think most folks realize just how bad the financial situation is for many hospitals right now. Days cash on hand is at the lowest in 10 years and many operate at only 1 to 2 percent margins. Insurers are denying and delaying payment for claims at sky-high levels. It’s bleaker for a lot of communities than the general public recognizes.

   8. I met him once and I have to say, I’m least worried about him over the others. We have a filter to remove fluoride from our water (I didn’t know what all it removed).

      Also the raw milk episode of Schitts Creek is very funny.

      Like the stuff they let us put in food as compared to other countries is gross.

      The vaccine stuff is scary but I have my tetanus and I doubt he would remove them (pharma lobby will find a way) just not require them. Not saying that’s great but I think we can still get vaccines.

      1. Getting rid of vaccine mandates means that your vaccine will no longer protect you the way you thought it did. When measles is rampant, some of the people who are vaccinated will catch it in addition to the unvaccinated. That’s why we have mandates.

         1. But this will always be true because there is not a world vaccine mandate and people travel outside of the US.

            1. Therefore we should just eliminate all protections within the U.S.? That is completely illogical. And OP, glad you have your tetanus shot but as the parent of an 8 month old who has yet to get several critical vaccines (including measles) I think you’re ignoring the key constituencies this is going to affect: children, elderly, and immune compromised people. In case you don’t think this will have meaningful impact, look up how RFK’s anti vaccine work led to the deaths of almost 100 children in Samoa.

            2. Having huge concentrations of unvaccinated people in this country is a much bigger issue domestically. If the unvaccinated people are overseas and everyone in the US is vaccinated, the only people in the US who get sick will be those direclty exposed during travel. If there are lots of unvaccinated people in the US, there’s no herd immunity so when an exposed traveler returns they infect lots of people here.

5. ISO (1) slip on winter boots for when it is COLD and sometimes wet (and sometimes snowy) and I am running an errand or taking kids to school. I need something that runs v wide though for my bunions. Tried Sorel “kinetic impact” boots and they are too narrow.
   And (2) lined pants for when it is cold, I have Duluth and LL Bean and the rise is too short. Would Eddie Bauer talls be better? Something else?

   1. You might try Mountain Hardwear.

      1. Also support the Mountain Hardwear rec. I have a pair of fleece lined pants that are my absolute favorites for really cold weather. As a size 14 pear, I prefer mid to high rise pants and theirs work for me.

   2. Athleta’s leggings either alone or as a layer – Altitude is great for frigid temps (wear them as pants for 5-20 degree skiing), Rainier for 30s-40s.

      1. This right here is the answer.

      2. I have these. The altitude lined pants are not warm enough unless I layer. ;)

   3. For boots, I like Columbia, specifically the Ice Maiden. Sorels are too narrow for me unless I wear whisper-thin socks and freeze.

   4. Blundstones are super wide.

   5. Lands End snow boots run wide.

   6. Eddie Bauer flannel lined jeans (with long johns underneath on really cold days) and a pair of Keen snow boots get me through winter (Montana Hi-Line)

   7. Eddie Bauer talls are good and are cut for actual tall people.

   8. I’ve got a pair of fur lined Pendleton wellies, with a low shank I wear for this. Got them years ago but seems like the kind of thing they’d continue to make.

   9. Ugg adirondacks can be laced to slip on and they are waterproof. Bogs work well too. LLBeans fleece leggings are very warm, as are Athleta’s altitude leggings. For extended time outside I wear rain pants or snow pants as added protection. I prefer leggings to pants because you don’t have to tuck, and I hate when the bottoms of my pants get wet.

6. I have a high school kid who really wanted to take Mandarin classes. There is no teacher. They may never get one. She had a series of zoom lessons, which got her started, but dislikes zoom. I think she’d like either something she can keep in her bag or do on her phone while waiting for rides, etc. But not DuoLingo, which she sees as a fun game. What sort of study aids and programs are out there? Even if it’s spendy or a subscription, that’s OK b/c Santa can bring it this time of year and otherwise, it’s just more hoodies and Sephora. I love flashcards and those one-page laminated thingies, but I’ve never taken a language that didn’t use western script or have tones, so IDK.

   Our community college has gone all-in on dual enrollment, so she actually isn’t allowed to take classes there otherwise until she turns 18, so too long of a wait for her.

   1. I don’t know where you live, but don’t most cities have places that teach language classes for kids and adults? Mine has them for all the common languages and even more obscure ones have conversation groups for people who want to practice.

      1. OP here and we do (for adults (for liability reasons often, or a parent has to be on site) and people who can drive there). So not on the horizon for another 18 months at least. Logistics are the hill dreams go to die on.

   2. Rosetta Stone is supposed to be very good for more serious study. I haven’t used it myself, but friends who decided to live abroad for a year (and part of the goal was to acquire some local language skills) got started with Rosetta Stone and they were able to manage when they got there. Can you find/hire a conversation partner?

      1. I’ve tried Rosetta Stone for maintenance of Arabic, which I learned in school decades ago but haven’t used much since then, and I also use Duolingo for French (intermediate level). I find Duolingo to be really good for vocabulary and grammar, and a lot more intuitive and fun than Rosetta Stone, which makes me use it more consistently. However, it maxes out at a pretty basic level for less-popular languages, which is why I switched over to Rosetta Stone for Arabic. If your daughter is a true beginner at Mandarin, I wouldn’t write off Duolingo. It’s a game, but it really does teach you stuff.

         My sister was an exchange student in Taiwan her senior year of HS, and she watched a lot of Sesame Street-type kid TV shows in Mandarin before she left to build language skills. I bet there are youtube channels, now. With a tonal language (and no alphabet!), I think you really want something with a listening component.

      2. Our local library offers Rosetta Stone, I believe. You might check with yours.

   3. Check out what Pimsleur has these days

      1. I agree with Pimsleur. This is how I tried to learn Mandarin Chinese and it went pretty well. Also the Apps HelloChinese and Chinese Skill.

   4. Haven’t used it myself but HelloChinese is supposed to be very good. And what about an in-person tutor? If the community college offers chinese classes, maybe the teacher does private lessons?

   5. if you are a library user, see if you have access to the transparent language program! it can be used online or as an app, so not tech/screen-free, but it is much less game-ified than duolingo.

   6. That’s odd that your local community college isn’t allowing minors especially during the summer term. Have you called a counselor at the CC to figure out if there is a mechanism even if it’s discouraged or otherwise not advertised? Alternatively, could you and she do an evening course together?

      The other option is a university extension- usually you can enroll in standard classes through the extension.

   7. Late comment, but when I was seriously studying Mandarin a decade ago, Chinesepod was super helpful.

   8. Others have suggestions for actual lessons and studying. Is there a subscription service like Viki for Mandarin/Chinese tv shows and movie streaming? A gift subscription to a streaming service may be a fun way to supplement the actual studying. You can test listening comprehension, hear a variety of speakers, and get some cultural exposure.

7. I have two children headed to college in 3 and 5 years, respectively. With otherwise admittedly poor spending habits/a relatively modest budget, I’ve managed to save almost $20k for each of them in 529 plans. With the incoming administration and any chaos in may bring, are those funds at risk/would you consider withdrawing them or ensuring that they are in low-risk investments at this point? They are through Fidelity.

   1. I have 2 in high school and what I did before all this was move 25% of each account into cash / cash equivalents each year so it’s all cash by the time I need to be spending it. I can deal with not making any return but I can’t deal with the value of investments for this purpose going to zero right when I need them.

      1. +1 – I generally move things to either money market accounts or structured bond/cds that are laddered to mature at set points within 3-5 years of needing cash.

   2. I haven’t seen anything about 529 accounts being at risk — those tend to disproportionately benefit higher income individuals, so it’s unlikely a Republican government would mess with them.

      From a financial planning standpoint, if you currently are invested 100% in stocks, I would change your asset allocation to be more conservative, just because your time horizon is getting shorter. I think the general rule of thumb is that any money you need in less than 7 years should not be 100% stocks. Your children likely have 4+ years of college, so the time horizon on some of that money is 7-9 years, but some of it you will probably need sooner and could be moved to cash alternatives or bonds. It kind of depends on what other savings you have and how much you are planning to cash flow college, though. Might be a good question to walk through with a fee-based financial planner.

      1. I don’t think this is your usual Republican administration that favors those with higher incomes and pro-business practices in a rational way. This is a farce that wants to take down everything associated with education, deregulate billionaires, and pretend to care most about the “working class”. College is for leftist elites, after all…

         1. I do think its a good point that Trump’s associates including Musk et all are also heavily invested in the stock market, so its unlikely they would be okay with it tanking either . . .

      2. And adding, I think OP’s question is mostly about the stock market tanking! Which none of us can predict, but it likely will be a bumpy ride either way

         1. I think so, too, and the answer to that is the same regardless of the administration. If you need the money in 3-5 years, you shouldn’t have all of it in stocks anymore. I’m not changing anything about my investing strategy based on the election. Long term money goes in stocks, short term money goes in CD ladder/money market/high yield savings account. Our basic strategy with 529s is to start adjusting the asset allocation when the kid enters middle school, and move maybe 10% more into lower risk investments each year

   3. I cannot tell whether your concern is that the tax code will be changed to eliminate 529 plans or that the stock market will tank. If the latter, money you need in 3-5 years should not be in stocks regardless of the administration. Most 529 plans offer an option to allocate the funds based on the age of your child and if you are not a professional, I recommend you select that option.

      You should under no circumstances withdraw them unless you have a qualifying expense. Even if the tax code is amended to eliminate 529 plans (extremely unlikely in my view), they would not seize the funds. They would just tax them differently. Remember that this is not something the executive branch can do by fiat – it would have to be approved by Congress because it amends the tax code. And the House is up for re-election in two years.

      1. +1 to all of this.

8. As we’ve had several skincare threads recently I thought I’d flag the NIOD/Ordinary sale – the Copper Amino Isolate Serum 3 1:1 (CAIS3) is now 50% off. I generally buy two of the 30ml sizes which is a full year supply for me. It does a great job at helping with skin elasticity/tightening up the ‘flappy bits’ as Fifty Shades of Snails calls it.

9. For those of you who are 40/50, have you been trying to roll up all of your accounts into fewer places? My parents had tons of small investment accounts. They have been a PITA since mom died (most were joint, but not all). I now have Feelings on this. I have one giant 401K from my job, but a ton of prior jobs / accounts and a large bit at Vanguard from the next most largest 401K. For my heirs alone, one place to deal with is already plenty, especially when waiting for 1099s, the many many mandatory 401K minimum distributions, etc., etc.

   If you centralized, where did you wind up? And was it a PITA along the way?

   1. I’ve always tried to keep them consolidated, but when we hired a “wealth manager” a couple years ago, they moved all investments except current employers’ retirement accounts into Schwab. It is really nice to be able to see everything in a single portal.

      Prior to that, I had most of my stuff consolidated in TD Ameritrade. Whenever I left a job, I rolled over the 401k into my IRA. I think you can roll old 401ks into your current employer’s 401k, too, but whether it’s worth doing that depends on the investment options. It’s not too much of a PITA to move the money around, I think we even were able to do it with esignatures with our financial advisor. When I did rollovers before, it was just a couple quick phone calls and signing/mailing a form.

   2. The service through Capitalize was really helpful for this, check it out!

   3. I haven’t because one account is an ESOP that throws off quarterly dividends I can use now, so locking that away by rolling it into an IRA would take away that bit of flexibility. Likewise, I keep my 457 plan from my last government job, because I can withdraw funds without penalty (just pay income tax) if needed, so it’s my backup emergency fund. I don’t want to give that flexibility up either.

   4. Continuing industry consolidation has us down to 2 brokers.

   5. My husband and I have 15 or so accounts between us and we’re keeping them separate for now, but will probably eventually consolidate some but not all when we hit retirement age. We’ve worked for multiple state universities, so we each have multiple 401as potentially tied to other employee benefits, multiple 457bs you can take penalty free withdrawals from as soon as you leave the employer, Roth IRAs, plus old 403bs that I don’t think we can roll into our current 457s because of the different plan rules, though I suppose I should look into that. The fees are all lower than regular Vanguard funds, so it doesn’t make sense to take them out of the university plans for now, only when we’re old enough to be dealing with withdrawals.

      1. I should add, all of our accounts are at TIAA, Fidelity, or Vanguard, so we’re not actually dealing with 15 different companies. If that were case, I would be more interested in consolidating. And the only one we need a 1099 for is our brokerage account at Vanguard, the rest are retirement accounts that we don’t pay taxes on, so it’s not a big deal from a paperwork perspective, at least at this point in our lives.

   6. I moved everything to Fidelity.

   7. When my dad died leaving my mom with minor children we found out how horrible my parent’s bank was to deal with. They froze even her paycheck and it was a rough go for a while. I’ve seen similar things happen to young widows and as a result keep cash in 4 different banks ( none of which is that bank). Not sure this is rational, and I’ve been meaning to rollover DH’s 401K for years, but something to think about.

   8. DH and I, who are Boomers, did this about 5 years ago. We sat for a zoom call with a Vanguard planner and mapped out what we wanted our investments to look like, and then gave the planner a list of all the accounts we had accumulated over the years. They did the rest. I think there were one or two phone calls to clarify things after the initial zoom, but it was all super easy. Between us, we had 14 IRAs and 10 investment accounts spead over at least 9 companies. We now have everything consolidated at the same place in 4 accounts and have access to see everything in one place. My TSP is separate, and dh never had a 401k. It greatly simplified taxes, since we don’t need to wait for as many 1099s, and I like the Vanguard dashboard.

   9. I have my accounts at three places – a 401k from a prior job, the 401k at my current job, and then my ira and investment accounts at vanguard. I don’t want to roll my prior 401k to my current employer for reasons, and don’t want to transfer it to an ira at vanguard because then I can no longer do backdoor roths. So I will be maintaining three accounts.

      If I had more prior 401k, I might combine the small ones with my current employer. But I think three accounts is manageable and I also don’t love the idea of my money all in one place.

   10. Yes, I did this in my 40’s and consolidated most at Fidelity, and still had an account at Vanguard.
       As I got tired of Vanguard’s poor customer service, I consolidated all at Fidelity.
       Fidelity has a pretty good website, good customer service, and I use it as my online checking account and have their 2% back credit card and do my bill pay on their site. All on one page.
       Finally gave up on Vanguard and this year moved all to Fidelity.
       Now just 3 accounts – Roth IRA, IRA, brokerage.

       It is much easier to keep a solid investment plan if you have things in one place.
       I invest in low cost index funds/ETFs that broadly cover the market, with a few additional stocks for fun.
       Right now I’m 70% stock / 30% “bonds”.

       I was really easy to roll things over. I just called Fidelity and they walked me through it.

   11. I had mine in a bunch of places and when I retired I broke down and moved it to an account with my husband’s money guy and I have to admit it’s really nice to have it all in once place and see the total number (which is feels bigger than it did when it was all scattered around). Plus the returns are way better.

       And it’s certainly easier for the heirs. By the time my parents passed, they were down to just three savings accounts at one credit union and that made it incredibly easy.

   12. I did this in my 30s. I think when you’re at a stage of life where you have assets and people depend on you, it’s wrong or at least cruel not to organize yourself.
       I’m the financially savvy person in our household and the prospect of something happening to me and my poor partner having to go through my 15 different banks where I’d set up CD ladders, IRAs, old 401ks, investment accounts, HYSAs etc to figure out what to do just made me sad.

   13. I did this and it was much easier than I thought it would be. I’m using Schwab now and I could request these transfers via their site. I just needed account numbers and name I believe.

   14. I always move my prior jobs’ 401Ks to Schwab. I do all of my banking at Schwab, so that I can have a full net worth snapshot in one place. They have no ATM fees, worldwide. They have US-based customer service that is always helpful. I LOVE SCHWAB, and it’s nice to tell the folks who need to know–all of it is here. All of it.

10. Going to Germany for the Christmas markets in a few weeks and looking for a stylish chelsea boot that is both warm and comfortable for walking around a lot. Budget is less than $200.

    1. Are you me?! Hi, me, I’ll see you there. I just decided on the Ariat Wexford Waterproof in Brown. (So far as I can tell, the waterproof comes in different colors than the non-waterproof.) Chelsea boots aren’t really my style, so I agonized forever.

       1. How do these run in terms of width and arch support? I have a narrow foot with a high arch and have not had luck with many boots that don’t come in narrow widths, but I’m always hoping.

          1. I have these (I think-bought last year, might be a different iteration) and they are a little wider than Ariat’s actual equestrian boots (which I’ve been wearing for decades) but still fit my fairly narrow foot. As for comfort, Ariats generally are the most comfortable boots I’ve ever owned. Like I’ll wear my paddock boots walking around at a horse show all day with no problems.

             1. Thank you!

    2. I recently heard the brand went out of biz but Aquatalia boots and shoes are lovely and do run a touch narrow. You can get secondhand pairs for about $200 and they are very high quality.

    3. Ditto. Going to Italy, based in Bologna, for Christmas. Have looked for ages for a short (not catching on my ankle bone) black boot, lace-up, with a sole that gives good traction.

       1. My ankle boots are all the brand Think! (It’s Austrian.) They have some … interesting footwear, but very solid basics too. I live in these during damp Central European winters.

          (My serious outdoor boots are Lowa – Renegade for big hiking; Innox for travel and easier trails.)

    4. Warm because I wore thin wool socks, but I traipsed all over not-as-cold Rome last November in Cole Haan chelsea boots. Very comfortable.

       1. Greenwich waterproof chelsea booties to be exact–had to check.

    5. I wouldn’t plan on walking great distances in a brand new pair of shoes . . .

11. I’m 30, single, not planning any purchases any time soon. Other than a 6ish month emergency fund everything else is invested in stocks, either through retirement accounts or just in mutual funds. Should I keep more in cash or unnecessary since I don’t have an immediate use case?

    1. I personally would feel more comfortable with a year’s expenses in an emergency fund if I were single, just as a hedge against job loss in addition to unexpected expenses. I would keep all your money invested where it is now, but just build up a bit more of a cash cushion over time.

       1. I’m extremely lucky for this, but part of the impetus for investing so much was that my parents could/would bail me out if it got extremely dire. I started investing more on my dad’s recommendation a couple years ago. We have a good relationship, so its a reasonable idea, but I’m not sure if its something I should move away from now.

          1. In that case, I think you’re doing fine! I’m 40 and still nearly 100% in stocks. and the portion that isn’t stocks is some venture capitalish finds, so still not conservative investments.

    2. At your age, I started creating bond ladders, a few smaller ones in the 3-12 months time frame, and then a bunch of longer-term ones (think 3, 5, 10 years). I mainly did the 3-12 months because I want to stay in the habit of checking bond rates regularly.
       You could look into TIPS and iBonds, as well, but be mindful of keeping track of iBond fixed/variable rates as those change over time. I just cashed out some older ones to reinvest in newer ones with a higher fixed rate.
       If you feel really adventurous, you could look into international investments like with IKBR. My husband and I have a smaller amount invested in foreign bonds, since we’re both originally from Europe and want to keep the door open to returning as we get older. Obviously that’s not for everyone.

       I think you could start at putting 5% of your money into non-stock/ETF investments, and then grow that percentage over time depending on what goes on in your life (downpayment on a house? Having kids and need more cash for monthly expenses?), and how the markets develop.

       I’m 40-ish and now have 70% in money market funds (plus retirement savings) and 30% in some sort of fixed investment.

       1. What does “create a bond ladder” mean practically? I use Vanguard – go invest in vanguard bonds for the time periods specified? I like the idea of keeping it shorter term so that I keep cehcking the rates.

          I checked and its about 15% in HYSA, the rest in ETFs/mutual funds.

          1. You buy several batches of savings bonds that have a specific date of maturity (where you get back your investment plus interest). Then stagger them so one chunk matures every year (this is like rungs on a ladder). This gives you the flexibility to reinvest or use the money if you need it at that time. That’s the general concept.

       2. Wow – you are really, really conservative. Maybe because you are European?

          I don’t know anyone your age in 100% conservative investments.

          OP, at your age, I would be 100% in stocks too, unless I was saving for a significant short term purchase like a house. Yes, the next 4 years may be rocky, but you are in the market for the long term.

          I am 55 and have ~70% stocks/30% bonds. Fidelity has a very good bond index fund if you want to add that component and keep it simple. I did keep a lot of cash in MMF when I had a windfall recently. I get iBonds.

          1. Also agree with I good emergency fund in a MMF.

    3. Yes, more cash than 6 months is not going to be a bad thing to have (in CDs, HYSAs, etc.)

       But also:
       If you think there’s any possibility at all that you would retire before you can access retirement accounts (59.5 I think for both 401ks and IRAs) you should focus on building up your non-retirement investment accounts. I made this realization earlier this year when I learned that someone I knew in college went FIRE in his early 30s…my retirement accounts have very healthy balances, but what if I want to retire when I’m 50 or 55 (I’m currently 40)? I will need several years’ worth of investments in other accounts, and I definitely don’t have enough of a solid foundation of non-retirement investments. Granted, I used a bunch of what I did have for my house down payment and just haven’t built it back up yet, but I need to reallocate my investments/savings to make sure I have the maximum flexibility with my retirement timeline.

       1. This is something I’ve thought about a lot. Like should so much of my money really be in retirement accounts? I have a lot of life before then. I’ve gone with more or less trying to save the same amount retirement and non retirement. According to all the calculators etc its enough.

          I’ve also thought about how I can remove the principle from a Roth IRA if needed, so at least thats still somewhat accessible.

    4. We consider our emergency fund to have multiple components and cash is just one of them. Then we have a brokerage account invested in stocks, which could potentially have lost value at the point you’d need to access it, but is unlikely to be down more than 20-30% short of another great recession level event, but even then will still have some value. We also have Roth IRAs (you can withdraw contributions penalty free and you’ve already paid taxes), 457bs (withdrawals are penalty free from former employers but you have to pay taxes), home equity, and then all of our other retirement accounts (rules vary, but the money is there if you need it). How much you want to have in cash will depend on how much you have in all those other pools, your risk tolerance, and how risky your life is (your job stability, health, your family status, whether you could move in with family if you lost your job or had a major health event, etc.). Six months is probably okay if you have a stable job and good health with a supportive family, especially with other money available. If that’s not true, I might bump it up a bit.

    5. You don’t mention how stable your job is or, if you lost your job, how long you would realistically take to find a new job. I think that should be part of planning for an emergency fund.

       We keep more than a year’s worth of expenses in high-yield savings accounts because DH’s job is unstable. When he’s working, it’s lucrative, but he went 14 months without income once and it scarred me. We also have investments, but they tend to move with the broader labor market – so if DH is out of work it’s likely that our investments will be down at the same time, and we don’t want to rely on them in case of emergency.

       Ultimately it comes down to your risk tolerance and what gives you the most comfort. We are definitely giving up on some potential investment gains with our strategy, but it’s also like my financial security blanket to know that in really dire situations, we’ll still have a roof over our heads, clothes for our children and food on the table.

       1. I think if I lost my job I could find another one within 6 months. I also do own my
          apartment (with mortgage) and would sell some of the investments if I lost my job. I also would have family support .

12. https://www.wsj.com/politics/elections/election-class-race-identity-politics-2024-a95c992a?mod=hp_lead_pos7

    TLDR – Americans are voting along class lines instead of racial lines. This is not news to those of us who are POC and understand that we are not a monolith. But it’s news to the Dems I guess.

    1. But that still doesn’t explain why working class voters are voting for a party that hates them, and wants to gut their unions, medical care and not support their pensions if they go under.

       1. One modern aspect that may feed into this voting pattern is that union membership is quite low, by historic standards, so there may be some resentment by non-union workers about the political parties favoring unions what with their expensive dues and all. So supporting unions does not necessarily result in working class votes.

          1. It’s because Trump’s message is “vote for me and you don’t have to care about anyone else.” That’s what it really boils down to.

       2. Because they are dumb. And poorly educated. And hateful. And I think we should stop pretending otherwise.

          1. Way to win. This will ensure a democratic victory for sure. Absolutely go with this.

             1. Sure, but its also not wrong to feel like this. Do people who voted for Trump and then googled “whats a tariff” not want to be thought dumb? Did they do a smart thing?

             2. I’m not running for President personally. But I don’t see how you figure out a communications strategy to win people over without acknowledging your starting point. Arabs in Dearborn voted for trump and now they’re sad about it? That’s ignorance and you need to approach it that way.

             3. I doubt it was Trump voters googling “What is a tariff.” Trump voters use Duck Duck Go, not Google. But keep thinking they are dumb and deplorable because that’s the way to keep winning.

             4. They are dumb and deplorable and I’m going to keep thinking that. This will all backfire spectacularly on them, and I will have my popcorn ready.

             5. Works for the republicans.

             6. your body, my choice

          2. I think it’s more about trust. Harris said good things but never came across as reliable or trustworthy. People picked the devil they know.

             1. And yet Trump, who never met a bill he didn’t try to get out of paying, is trustworthy? Who lies every time he opens his mouth? Now is he more trustworthy than Kamala Harris??

                The media has normalized everything Trump does for 8+ years now. Democrats are held to a much higher standard, as are Democratic voters. We are all supposed to understand and listen to why Trump voters vote the way they did. But they don’t want to listen to us. If we say, It is a fact that raw milk can make you sick, that vaccines are basically harmless, and that the republicans want to change the ACA so your rural hospitals will close and you can’t get coverage if you have a pre-existing condition, and that most reputable economists say Trump’s plans for the economy will be very very bad, they just say, That’s fake news, or Trump really won’t do that!

                They don’t want to listen or learn. They are convinced that Fox News, etc., are the only ones telling the truth. You could show them a report from the conservative Cato Institute detailing how during the first Trump administrating, more illegal immigrants who committed crimes went uncaught because they were too busy separating children from their parents. You can show them that unemployment is better and the stock market goes higher under Democratic administrations. They won’t believe any of it.

                They have no idea how the government or vaccines or the FDA or FEMA or weather forecasting works, and because they don’t understand it, they are convinced that all these things are evils conspiracies by Democrats. They think that because they can google something, they “did their research.”

                So, I’m done trying to understand them, beyond that they are poorly informed and proud of it, and also sexist and racist and phobic about anyone who isn’t exactly like them. I guess that means that Democrats won’t win anymore elections. I guess that means that we all get used to pollution, unsafe drugs, no more national parks, no rules about worker safety, unsafe drugs and foods. But at least we can be hateful.

             2. What 1:02 said. There is a cultural rot that has taken hold. That’s not the Democratic party’s fault.

             3. Democrats didn’t even make a good faith effort to win!

             4. And I’m so sad about it. Harris could have been built up as a candidate for YEARS not months if it had to be Harris. It’s like there was no plan for the most predictable eventuality of Biden not having it in him to campaign. People worked so hard but it felt like a Hail Mary and failed anyway.

          3. Agree. Decades of dismantling our public education system, pushing extreme capitalistic consumerism, American exceptionalism, and christian nationalism has resulted in an ignorant populace disgruntled with their lot in life and angry at anyone different than them, but not equipped to realize the people they support are the ones causing them harm.

          4. The contempt against others is not a good look on you.

             1. The inability to accept that people are voting based on lies is not a good look for you.

             2. +1

             3. Sometimes it’s appropriate to NGAF about how others think we look.

             4. And holier than thou isn’t great on you, babe.

       3. Education. I will go to my grave believing it’s education. Because what’s the greatest divide between the classes? Why are Fox News hosts screaming about “liberal institutions”? Education. It’s like those old polls about asking people if they support the Affordable Care Act and everybody says yes and then Obamacare and everybody says no. (Another version asks people about the provisions, like pre-existing conditions protections, kids until age 26, etc.) Education.

          1. Ok, but people have the education our education system provided.

             1. The quality of public education varies widely depending on whether you live in a high vs low income school district.

             2. True. It also varies widely even in high income districts.

             3. OR, they have opted out because the GOP has made it so easy to homeschool, with limited or no oversight on what’s actually being taught, so you now have a generation of young adults who have made it to their 20s without the ability to think critically in ways that benefit society writ large. I’m not an absolute defender of the public school system, but letting people opt out because they are uncomfortable is not the right answer here.

             4. I grew up in a school district that’s extremely Trumper now. I’m glad my parents opted out because they were uncomfortable!!

             5. That is part of the right’s plan. Destroy the educational system and produce voters who don’t know history, don’t understand economics or science, and can’t think critically so they accept whatever they are told. It’s already working very well in our school district.

          2. Liberal policies push and protect teachers at all costs, and the focus on equity (setting standards to the lowest common denominator) just ends up dumbing down our system. Not to mention the explosion of administrative roles and bureaucracy in schools—it’s all just bloat and job security without keeping education and students front and center.

             Just this year my kids elementary school lost their excellent principal as she was promoted to middle management in our bloated and oversized district. She’s basically a principal manager now.

             If we could cut back on this and actually prioritize high standards and accountability, maybe we’d see real improvements in our schools.

             1. Idk my daughter is a teacher. The parents protecting the most disruptive and violent children in her class by repeatedly threatening to sue the school district? Proud and loud Trumpers. Total contempt for teachers.

             2. I value and appreciate good teachers very much. I do not want to protect teachers that are subpar.

                I think litigious parents have nothing to do with teachers unions though I agree it’s a problem. It’s a big problem in a nearby very wealthy district.

       4. Because their lives did not get better over the last four years. And in many cases, their lives did not get better under the Obama Administration. We can argue all day about why – and yes I tend to blame the Republicans in Congress – but that is their reality. At the same time, they feel that the “elites” have contempt for them and their values. They do not think the Republicans “hate” them as much as they think Democrats despise them. And it is really hard to get votes from people you look down on.

          People who voted for Obama voted for Trump. People who voted for Biden voted for Trump. People who voted for Haley voted for Trump. Rather than just dismissing them all as stupid, cruel, racist, etc., etc., maybe you should consider why the economic and social policies of the Democrats did not appeal to them.

          Also, most “working class” voters do not belong to unions. In fact, unions are quite unpopular among a lot of them. There is a reason those elections are usually really close.

          1. The thing is that their lives did get better simply because they had health insurance.

             1. No kidding and they will definitely get worse if the ACA is repealed.

             2. Yea, you tell people how their lives got better when they feel they didn’t. Oh but look at my stock market portfolio!

             3. A lot of people had health insurance as part of the pandemic response who lost it again under Biden. Not crediting DJT w/this but people didn’t imagine losing insurance under Biden.

             4. Source @1:00? This was not on my radar. Did they just lose free insurance or did they also lose eligibility?

             5. It was an unavoidable outcome of ending continuous enrollment upon the expiration of the Families First Coronavirus Response Act this past spring.

                https://www.pbs.org/newshour/health/advocates-say-biden-administration-could-do-more-to-prevent-millions-from-losing-medicaid-coverage

          2. +1

          3. For real, what do they want that they think will make their lives better? Like, not even real things that the government can do, but what can you say to these people to make them think their lives will get better under candidate X? What do they actually want?

             I mean, apparently things like putting real money toward increasing manufacturing in the US, loan forgiveness for trade schools, lowering drug prices for seniors (and also insulin!) through the Inflation Reduction Act, intercepting more shipments of illicit drugs than ever before, better protection for workers, going after businesses that commit wage theft, stopping business from classifying people as “managers” so they don’t get overtime pay, etc. etc., is not what people want.

             Far as I can tell, they think their lives will be better if we have no immigration, if women go back into the kitchen, if they can call people racial slurs, and if they can be mean to txxx people. Oh, and if the FDA stops banning raw milk and vitamins and sunshine and exercise!

             1. They want not to have to care about anyone else. That’s what they want and that’s what he’s selling. See M. Gessen’s op-ed in the NYT.

             2. What? Trump did like half of those things.

          4. “At the same time, they feel that the “elites” have contempt for them and their values.”

             I guess I just can’t understand why they get a free pass to have contempt for liberals and our values. Because they do. This is not a one way street.

             1. Bingo. We always have to listen to them, but there’s never been a NYT piece about why people who think Trump is won’t think that way, and what they want for the country.

             2. The losers having contempt for the winners in a rigged game isn’t the same thing as the rigged-game winners having contempt for the losers.

             3. Who are the winners and who are the losers? Do you think “liberals” are the winners? Why? Do you think the game is rigged in favor of liberals? Notice I said “liberals,” not “elites.”

             4. They’re running around saying “your body, my choice” and clutching their pearls over our language? These are not serious people.

          5. I absolutely never felt elite until the MAGA movement took hold. Wouldn’t have even crossed my mind. I feel intellectually elite now. I think, therefore I am elite. Gah.

    2. America is a country that pretends we have three classes – the super-rich, the very poor, and everyone else is in the same middle class. There’s a lot of variation that is glossed over because we pretend we don’t have more than a handful of social classes. As someone who grew up at the bottom end of the upper-middle class in an exurb, the high school friends who stayed in my hometown don’t feel like the Dems have done anything to make their lives better and they vote accordingly.

       1. They don’t “feel like Dems have done anything” is the problem right there. People vote on their feelings rather than facts, and their feelings are wrong. But they have their little media ecosystems that tell them their feelings are right.

          So what do they want the Democrats or anyone to do? Besides lower gas and egg prices by fiat, which is not a thing that will happen under any administration, but at least a democratic one might have tried to stop grocery store consolidation and price colluding amongst egg producers

          1. They think lower gas and egg prices can be ordered by fiat. And they don’t understand that they are the ones who will be paying the tariffs.

             1. The leopards are still going to eat their faces. Not just mine. Probably less mine than theirs, actually.

             2. Yeah, but they don’t think the leopards are going to eat their faces. They think they will get to enjoy watching the leopards eat ours.

             3. +1 2:36 and 4:30

                So many people want to try to rationalize other people’s feelings. You can’t. They feel how they feel, they like that Trump makes them feel superior and that they are get what they want (their lives to be easier and things to cost less and for people who they don’t think are as good as they to have it worse) and it doesn’t matter that it may or may not he possible or true. They feel good those moments and that’s what they go with.

                I has an ex who always had to understand why I felt the way I felt and my feelings weren’t valid to him unless my explanation made sense to him (spoiler, it rarely did). It was exhausting and the reason we broke up. These convos are giving me flashbacks.

          2. FWIW, they also want lower taxes, better schools, less expensive housing, and jobs that have better benefits. I don’t think either party is going to be giving them what they want, but they enjoy watching a national political figure “own the libs” by saying gross, nasty things about all those people in cities.

       2. Bingo. Even aside from Trump…many many people who are in the 10% have convinced themselves they are middle class, and call for “the rich” to pay their fair share. Girl, you ARE “the rich”!

          1. I am near the bottom of your 10%. After taxes, costs for benefits, and retirement savings, we take home well under half of what we nominally earn. Of our take-home pay, at least 12 percent goes to groceries and 38 percent goes to our only child’s college tuition after huge merit scholarships. An amount equivalent to about 8 percent of our take-home pay goes to OOP costs for health care, and that’s after we have paid the premiums on our HDHP. I can’t afford to pay any more taxes and also pay for my own retirement and my family’s education and health care. Thanks to our insane tax code, the truly rich pay far less than we do in taxes, not just as a percentage of income but often in actual dollars. So don’t tell me I need to pay my fair share. I already do.

             1. Yeah, we’re in a similar boat. I pay about what I’d pay in most developed countries, it’s folks like hedge fund managers that don’t pay their fair share.

             2. You definitely could pay more in taxes. You might think it’s “more than your fair share” but I guarantee you are spending money on non essentials

             3. I don’t see why I should pay even more in taxes until the .01 percent and the 1 percent start paying their fare share, and until the IRS increases enforcement so that everyone actually pays what they owe. Come back to me with your calculator then and tell me whether I still need to pay more.

             4. 5:27, the point is that people below the 90th percentile should also have enough to spend on nonessentials, not that people at the 90th percentile should not be spending on anything but essentials. You seem to want to perpetuate income inequality. Let’s let the 1% have nonessentials but no one else.

             5. Something to think about in terms of framing: The part that tends to get lost in discussions of taxes is what they pay for. In developed countries with higher tax rates, citizens spent less out of pocket on things like health care and education. So it’s more of a matter of how those things are paid for — individually, or from a communal pot. Countries that pay for education and health care from a communal pot tend to have lower costs per capita ***and*** better outcomes than the US. So our current system is not just expensive, but inefficient.

                I’m curious if you’ve ever looked at a breakdown of the large federal budget spending categories (https://fiscaldata.treasury.gov/americas-finance-guide/federal-spending/). The largest category is Social Security 21%, with the next largest one National Defense at 18%. But if we combine Health and Medicare together, that’s 23% total, which excludes what people pay in insurance premiums, deductibles, and co-payments (let alone direct payments to medical providers not covered by insurance).

                I don’t want to write a white paper here, but adding this comment because when we act like tax policy is a conflict among the various marginal rate groups it is easy to get distracted from the question of how the system could work better for most if not all of us.

13. Do you have any favorite tanks to wear under sweaters? Has anyone tried Numi? Ideally I would get a short sleeve, low cut v-neck body suit to wear under v-neck cardigans. I get cold easily in winter, so I’m open to trying wool or heat-tech fabrics.

    1. Yes! Marks and Spencer Thermal Pointelle Tanks. THEY ARE SO SOFT AND WARM, and were my layering tanks forever. You can buy them in the US. (They also make excellent tights, if you need warm tights too!) Highly, highly recommend!

    2. I’m wearing a Uniqlo tank with built-in bra under my sweater right now. No reaching into the neckline to excavate bra straps.

14. Anyone else annoyed at Thanksgiving cooking already? I’m the one who hosts and our family drives to join us so while they bring drinks/desserts/room temperature appetizers we cook all the hot food. I’ve tried to consolidate the menu but it’s almost impossible to not serve ALL the traditional sides (we’ve successfully banned green bean casserole, I buy the gravy and sweet potato casserole from a catering company but that’s about it).
    I’m thinking longingly of 2020 when we bought the meal from a great local restaurant and all I had to do was heat everything up!

    1. Hot take: some traditional sides, like sweet potato casserole, are disgusting. There’s a reason why we don’t eat them throughout the year.

       1. Yeah, we just cook what we like over here. Turkey, mashed potatoes (no gravy because none of us like it), stuffing, cranberry relish, and some sort of green veggie (roasted brussels sprouts, steamed green beans that aren’t a gross casserole, etc.). That’s three dishes max in the oven at once, not really a big deal. Fewer if you use slow cookers.

       2. Yeah, I think pretty much all traditional Thanksgiving food is gross. We’ve done a number of years where spouse and I lived far from family and just made our own completely non-traditional meals, though I did make a pie every year. We recently moved closer to family and will be doing something more resembling a traditional meal: there will actually be meat, though unclear whether it will be turkey, and there will be mashed potatoes (which I actually hate, but will give into family pressure on that one), but no sweet potato or green bean casseroles, cranberry sauce or stuffing in my family. There will probably be butternut squash lasagna, broccoli salad, wild rice pilaf, a pesto and veggie stuffed bread, and definitely multiple pies.

       3. In my house we do sweet potato souffle instead of casserole and it’s delicious, but the reason it’s delicious is because the recipe uses an entire stick of butter and a cup of sugar, and that’s why we don’t eat it throughout the year. (I am Southern. I took it to a Friendsgiving one year when I lived up North. Host asks “is this a dessert or a side?” Well that depends on where you’re from I guess…)

          But to OP’s actual question, why can’t people bring traditional sides either assembled that just need cooked or already cooked that just need warmed up?

          1. “That just need cooked” is something you should never do to your host. Ask this well ahead and don’t plan on it until you get an enthusiastic thumbs up

    2. Why not repeat 2020? Restaurants still do this!

       My family’s gotten the sides down to our faves – sliced sweet potatoes drizzled with brown sugar (no marshmallows – the worst!), non-meat stuffing, roasted brussels, and an orange-cranberry sauce. Why bother with more? If a guest is going to throw a fit, they can bring the dish and a toaster oven to cook it in.

       1. +1. You can probably still get most of that! I love spending hours on a special meal but I’m aware that’s totally my choice. If it’s not your idea of a good time, don’t do it!

       2. I order a lot from Whole Foods’ catering department. I make the things I enjoy making (like fresh cranberry sauce with blueberries) and order the rest.

       3. +1 to this. Cook what you enjoy cooking and outsource the rest!

    3. Cooking big meals takes practice to do well. If you don’t do it at least a few times per year other than Thanksgiving (not necessarily the exact dishes, but big meals with multiple dishes), it’s going to be stressful. I enjoy the cooking… the people I can take or leave.
       You can still buy heat and eat Thanksgiving dinners, but you’ll need to order ASAP if the deadlines haven’t already passed.

       1. I think this is the issue. I used to enjoy all the cooking (I’m a very good home cook) but the excitement of planning/cooking the big multi-course meal from scratch is no longer something that brings me joy in this period of my life.
          I think this is my cue to involve the tween/teen more and to cater in some things. I have a very hard time paying for store bought stuff since I know I can make better/cheaper at home but you’re right that my time and peace are worth it.

          1. If you were in my neighborhood, I’d offer to do the cooking, fix myself a plate and leave. You enjoy the family, I enjoy the cooking. And the teen/tween can do the dishes. Problem solved!

    4. It’s a lot!

       Is there anything you can make early and freeze, or will keep in the fridge for a few days? You could definitely freeze soup and likely stuffing. I’m not sure what else. You could make a cheese sauce for mac and cheese a few days in advance and put that in the fridge. Ditto a homemade cranberry sauce and any vegetables you need to cut up.

    5. Things like stuffing, potatoes, and veggies can be cooked in advance. That makes the actual day a lot easier – just do the turkey.

       1. This. Day of, I only cook the turkey and make the gravy. Everything else, I cook the day before (or prep it to the point of cooking on Thanksgiving). It does take some practice though. I’ve learned through trial and error on the stuffing especially. But after 15 years, I have it down pat! And frankly, I make the exact same dishes every year, so I pull up my handy spreadsheet, print and go to the store.

    6. I am all about pushing the easy button some years. If you have the funds, buy *all* of the traditional sides that you do not enjoy cooking, and make the hot foods that you enjoy cooking!

    7. I did Thanksgiving for family for 37 years and never served the same menu twice. It did always involve turkey, but some years it was a full roasted bird, some years just a breast, one year it was turkey burgers, one year it was Turkducken, once it was giant Turkey legs. I only made what I felt like making on that particular year.

       Fortunately, a younger generation is taking over the prep work and all I need to do is bring some wine and some bubbly.

       1. I’ve been cooking Thanksgiving myself for 20 years and I cook the same menu each time because people will have a cow if their favorite is not there or is changed in any way. It’s one day per year, I can handle it. And now my college aged kids are assigned certain sides, which are my late mom’s recipes, so that feels special to me.

       2. A propos of “only what I felt like making,” my motto for all holidays is “it’s all optional.” Some years I go all out, some years we don’t even put up the Christmas tree.

    8. Prep as much as you can in the days before. Come up with an oven schedule, and that dictates your day-of schedule. Recruit people to help you put together dishes before they go into the oven. Make sure everyone who is coming knows ahead of time that no, they can’t “just stick this in the oven.” There’s an oven schedule.

       In our house, I dry brine the turkey a few days ahead. When I do that I make turkey stock from some separately purchased turkey parts and the neck of the whole turkey. I also make cranberry sauce ahead, but if I’m being honest, everyone likes the smooth canned stuff just as well.

       Due to the oven schedule, the pumpkin pies get made first on Thanksgiving morning, and that’s done by my son since he was about 12. He’s gotten quite good at it. Then my daughter starts in on mh family’s traditional jello/sour cream/mini marshmallow/pineapple dish which sounds weird AF but everyone loves. It has to be done in layers so it takes time. The turkey is coming to cool room temp during this time to make room in the fridge for the jello. I then make a couple of snacky things for people to nosh on while watching the parade

       I then put the turkey in the oven and start on casserole type things – stuffing, sweet potatoes, green bean casserole, btw Smitten Kitchen’s is superior, but my husband likes to make it himself from canned soup and boxed fried onions, so he gets that one. And he gets just as stressed as if he were making the entire meal!

       At some pont we all shower and get dressed while the turkey is in the oven. I always think I won’t have time but I do.

       I make mashed potatoes pretty much last thing. My daughter likes to be the one to doctor them up and make sure they’re mashed to her liking. I come from a long line of gravy-making women, so I make a good gravy, just like the expression, using the defatted pan drippings plus a roux and my homemade turkey stock.

       It’s all reliably done by 2-3pm or so. We usually wait quite a while for pie because people are so stuffed. I make some whipped cream with sugar and vanilla extract just before we eat the pie. My favorite cup of coffee all year is a pour-over of Peet’s holiday blend with some of that whipped cream stirred in. And then we all take a walk. Not a bad day honestly.

    9. I’m already annoyed. We have 2 Thanksgiving meals to attend, one Thursday and one Friday. I don’t mind bringing food, but we haven’t been told what to bring by either household yet. And I’ve offered to host as the backup plan for the TG meal on Thursday but don’t know yet whether that’ll be needed. I don’t really need to know anything until this time next week, but I’m a planner and just want to be emotionally prepared for whatever next weekend will be.

    10. I used Whole Foods to cater in covid and never went back. Everyone gets mad and wants to pitch in but no one else has a place to host and I work too much to cook so. I make the Mac and cheese and same on banning GB cass.

    11. My family doesn’t like green bean casserole, sweet potatoes or pumpkin pie so we don’t serve those.

        I’m hosting thanksgiving this year and I am 100% getting it catered. Why can you not do that as well? I plan on making a dessert, my mom will probably make rolls, and that’s it.

    12. In 2020 thanksgiving was chicken thighs and bacon in the slow cooker for the afternoon, small potatos roasted in the oven with olive oil and some seasonings, green beans tossed in the pan for a few minutes, and pillsbury biscuits from the tube. And store bought pie because pumpkin is the best pie.
        Turkey is gross and a pain to cook whole.
        Do a meat that comes in proportioned servings, a veggie side or two you actually like, and something premade from the store like a good bread.

15. Joining the chorus of people going to Paris- I’m going solo and looking for something extra and special to do. Not dining, I already have a lot of great reservations. Is there a tour you loved? A hidden gem? A day trip? I’ve been many many times but I like to treat myself to something particularly special each visit.

    1. Day trip – Reims by TGV and tour Champagne houses.
       Rainy day activity – touring the Passages
       Place to sit with a crepe and people-watch that’s not as touristy – Parc Monceau

       1. I will add that touring in Epernay is slightly easier (due to train proximity to the houses) than Reims, but I prefer Reims because the Cathedral is spectacular, as is the attached museum. Ruinart and Pommery both have great tours. In Epernay, there is an “Avenue du Champagne” where you can just toddle along. Both awesome.

    2. I went to Paris for my birthday early this year and someone here suggested getting a haircut while there. I ended up booking an appointment with David Mallett. Best idea ever!! He’s quite the character, very friendly, and gave me the chicest haircut ever. This was in March, I haven’t gotten it cut since, and it still looks great. Everyone at the salon was so lovely, they even gave me a little gift bag of products when they heard it was my birthday.

       1. I am chuckling at the image of the folk singer David Mallett giving you a haircut.

    3. We did a day trip to Fountainbleu/Vaux le Vicomte and really enjoyed it (thanks to whoever on here recommended it!).
       We did a cooking class at http://www.lacuisineparis.com and it was a highlight. At the end they gave us a list of cooking supply stores and we had fun exploring all of those — I ended up buying a stash of metallic silver and gold sugar sprinkles, which you can’t get in the US, for my Christmas cookies. Also you can’t go wrong with a food tour or cheese class from Paris By Mouth.

       1. We also did Foutainbleu/Vaux le Vicomte on someone here’s recommendation and loved it. We went with the Paris Cityvision tour (https://www.pariscityvision.com/en/audioguide-tour-vaux-vicomte-fontainebleau?gad_source=1&gclid=Cj0KCQiA_9u5BhCUARIsABbMSPtXXZZDpgXBvUUPEESb-noZrgaUXywx0A4KRANtRtF36kOh7yVrgFcaAppOEALw_wcB) which was good because it’s basically just transport, not a guide, so you can take it at your own pace (we hate group tours). There is no real public transit to Vaux le Vicomte, so you’ll need some sort of transport. It was my favorite Chatauex, though. We also took a day trip out to Chantilly (which you can do by public transit) and enjoyed it. Fun fact if you’re a Bond fan: both Chateau de Chantilly and Vaux le Vicomte are featured in James Bond films.

       2. Wow SA, I just responded about La Cuisine Paris too – glad I have the same taste as you :)

    4. Loved a macaron making class a few years ago! And it’s a nice way to have some social time when traveling solo, if that’s something you’re after.

    5. My sister did a baking class at La Cuisine Paris and absolutely loved it. They also have walking tours of local patisseries and markets. My sister’s class was actually filmed for a short segment on CBS Saturday Morning that aired a couple of months ago – the owner seems delightful and very Corporette!

    6. Thanks all! I booked croissant making with La Cuisine

16. I need some easy shelves in my laundry room / pantry (renting as divorce is finalizing but will probably stay here a couple of years). Do you have recommendations? I feel like the wire 5 shelf option is not great for food but neither is the type like a narrow closed cabinet that also does not have efficient shelving on the inside? I love to cook and the 3 kids will be with me at least 50% so I do need a place to put potentially a lot of shelf food. Thoughts?

    I am probably overthinking this but I’ve made a LOT of decisions lately and any help with this one would really help, thanks

    1. Do you want wall mounted or freestanding shelves?

       1. Freestanding

          1. Uline makes plastic shelf liners for those wire shelves. Honestly probably the easiest option unless you want something fancy.

          2. What about a bakers rack that you can easily set up and easily take with you when you move?

             1. This was what I was going to say but she said no wore 5 shelf option. You can always put something over the wires. In restaurants we used cardboard but I’ve seen nice plastic liners at a friend’s house once. What about the container store for inspo?

    2. I would measure carefully and then go to Ikea. Even if you need to buy some wire shelf covers, risers, or extra hooks the basic metal shelving there is the sturdiest/best quality I’ve found for the price. Their associates are also pretty helpful and there are a LOT of aftermarket add-ons.
       I’d also suggest task rabbit for the installation – during the pandemic we added a ton of shelving to our basement. Having someone spend 4 hours to unbox/set up 8 shelving units and recycle all the boxes for us (vs. my husband and I struggling with it for multiple weekends in between kid’s naps) was money well spent.

    3. Wire 5-shelf but with hard plastic mats cut to size so your food will stand up. It’s shelf liner but stiff and is usually sold near the shelving in big box home improvement stores or at Container Store. (Elfa closet systems use it also.)

    4. Get the 5-shelf wire shelves. Cut old election signs (or other plastic corrugated yard signs) to size and put those on the shelves to make them solid. They can be wiped clean and are sturdy enough to not get destroyed when you load the shelves up.

       1. +1

          Even something like flattened cereal boxes works great as shelf liner. Disposable and easy to replace if it gets worn or dirty.

    5. I have one of the super sturdy wire shelve units (from Home Depot, similar to the Amazon basics one) that we use as pantry/etc storage. I got plastic placemats from the dollar tree and they’re perfect shelf liners & easy to replace if needed!

17. Any former theater kids (or parents of theater kids) here with tips for surviving tech week and performances?
    My 8 year old is in a show and it’s been a week of super late nights and then it will be two weeks of performances 4 nights a week.
    I keep telling myself it’s only for a few weeks and then we’ll be back to our usual routine. But he’s really into theater, so I think we have to have better routines and methods for the Spring show. I think our pain points right now is figuring out when does he eat dinner and do homework and making sure he gets enough sleep. And also as a parent, how to handle the driving and then waiting around for rehearsal to be over. I under-estimated how time consuming this would be.
    Also – someone tell me that it’s worth it for him. For some reason, shuttling kids to three soccer practices a week feels easy compared to this.

    1. Only 8 years old and this is the intensity of it? That honestly seems too much. The schedule you describe didn’t happen until high school for our kid. We would have been the mean parents protecting our kid’s sanity and sadly required them to bow out if this is what theater expected of a third grader.

       1. Yes same.

    2. Performance nights are shorter than tech week/dress, so you’ve got that in your corner.
       How is the vibe on set? If it’s good, then kiddo will be fine but tired. Hopefully the child wrangler has lots of snacks. You can send him with a packed sandwich if he needs something more substantial.
       If the vibe is bad (I’m in the middle of this right now with a production), at this point, you gut it out and don’t participate in productions with that director again. There are ways to be respectful of kids’ time and needs while still putting on a good show.
       If your kid is really into it, then that will get them through being tired for a couple of weeks.

    3. Is this a professional production he’s in? Bc if it’s just school – that’s bananas for that age vs. high school.

       I participated in theater as a kid and yeah, those weeks were tough to balance, but (1) if it wasn’t a night that dinner was catered — think hoagies or pizza here — my parents would pack me a dinner to have during breaks, and (2) my mom would drive me to and from school rather than taking the bus, giving me an extra half-hour of sleep in the morning and time to do homework after school.

    4. Oof that’s a lot. I’ve been a theater parent for a few years, but our shows are typically one hellacious tech week so strategy has been “skip everything else and get through it” which may not translate to two weeks of shows. Here’s a few thoughts in case anything helps:
       – Ask teachers (or have mature kid ask teachers) what work they’ll have during tech/show week so that they can begin working a little ahead and minimize homework during this time.
       – My kid doesn’t do anything but theater + school these weeks, even if schedule might allow them to squeeze in other activities.
       – We don’t skip school unless otherwise sick/drained, but some friends do. If it’s a school-affiliated show, keep in mind that attendance at school may impact ability to participate. We have allowed kid to stay home from school the Monday after show weekend if very drained/not feeling well.
       – Try to eat regularly and well to avoid getting sick, and lots of tea with honey to preserve voice.
       – Carpool with other parents if you can – just having one end of rehearsal can be really helpful.
       – When kid comes home late (and is SUPER JAZZED like most theater kids after rehearsal), shower right away, remove any stage makeup, and try to keep environment pretty quiet. Sleep is hard for us cuz kid is already out later than normal and comes home super energized.
       – Consciously giving all positive feedback between shows is something I do deliberately. Sometimes I want to help “fix” something that didn’t work great in an early show, and I have to remind myself that I’m not the director and should zip it.
       Good luck to you and break a leg to your kid! On a positive note, my kid’s first tech week was when we realized he was a “theater kid” versus a “kid who is in a play”, and that was kind of an awesome thing to see click.

    5. This is community theatre, sounds like? Yes it is tough. Since he’s young, consider having him sleep in one day (if he is able) and skip the first half of school. Also see if you can push fluids on him through the run of the show and maybe some vitamin C. My kids always get sick the week after the show is over so I would be prepared for that too!

    6. Current community theater person here! Based on the schedule you describe, I’m going to assume it’s a community theatre show, so the schedule isn’t necessarily geared towards kid schedules, but all the adults in the show that are working full-time during the day. Couple of pieces of advice:

       – See if you can arrange some carpools. I did a show (as an adult) that had some teens in it and, once I got to know them (and their parents kind of knew us), I offered to drive one of them/pick them up. This is obviously dependent on your comfort with the rest of the cast, but if there are other children in the cast and they live near-ish to you, they’re facing the same issues you are!
       – The theme for dinner for me during tech week and performances is portable and easy. There’s probably some time between when you arrive at the theatre and when they have to be on stage when he could eat dinner – just be careful about what specifically you’re bringing and that it won’t stain costumes or create a mess in the dressing room if you go this way. (It’s been years since I’ve done a show at the same time that I’ve had homework, so I can’t speak to this aspect of it).
       – If you’re open to it and have the capacity, I’m sure the theatre is looking for some type of volunteers during tech week and/or the performance. The theatre I work with is always looking for ushers, box office folks, or people to run stage crew. Chat with the stage manager or producer if they know if that’s a need.

       I love being in community theatre – it is exhausting some times and definitely a lot of effort, but it’s so worth it to me. I definitely didn’t get really get into it until I was in high school/an adult, so it didn’t affect my mom too much, but it’s also brought me so much joy and amazing friendships. So, as long as your kid is enjoying it (like actually enjoying it, even the hard stuff), I think it’s worth it to develop. But that’s the theatre nerd in me talking.

    7. As a former theater kid and a current ballet mom, tech week (which is usually the hardest) and performance week are my times for deliberately lowering my standards. Dinner can be quick and not necessarily with the rest of the family (I’ll sit and chat with them while they eat if it’s way too early for me to eat). Talk to him about when homework is due and if there are any projects or tests he needs to plan for so he can make up a study schedule. Can he bring a book he has to read or math sheets to work on backstage?

       As for sleep, I let them sleep as late as possible but don’t stress about sleep deficits. It’s hard to make kids that age nap, but putting on a movie sometimes works.

       In terms of what I do during practices, it’s 100% ok to pick the school or production that is closer or more convenient for you. My kid now takes ballet and performs with a studio that is really close to our house and while it’s maybe not the best instruction in Southern CA, she’s not aiming to go pro and I spend WAY less time in traffic. I try to do errands (I miss the days when ballet was above a wonderful Japanese grocery store with the best produce and treats) or read books.

       Being in theater productions was 100% my favorite thing in middle school, high school, and college. I loved it and it would have meant a lot if my parents had been more supportive, especially with the driving part before I could drive.

    8. Mom of a theater kid here. i am assuming this is an adult community theater production and not youth theater? In either case, the key is getting a portable dinner to him between school and rehearsal, packing non-messy snacks and a water bottle for the evening, and then giving him something hot to eat during the drive home. If you aren’t required to stay for rehearsal, I would have one parent drop him off and leave and the other parent pick him up. Be prepared for him to be too hyped up to be able to go straight to bed. A show and/or a hot bath can help him wind down. On the first and last nights of the show run don’t even try to take him straight home–go out for ice cream or something, no matter how late it is. At age 8 he can probably get his homework done before rehearsal; otherwise that, and sleep, will have to wait for the weekend. You could try asking the teacher to provide homework ahead of time so he can get it done the weekend before.

       I would also encourage him to mask at school and in crowded places during this time. These kids get really run down during tech week and that makes them more vulnerable to the bugs circulating in school. My daughter got sick during or immediately after the run of every show she did in high school, and she had to bow out of her first college show with laryngitis. You do not want to have to comfort a kid who is devastated by missing a show due to illness, trust me. I’m a singer, and I always mask for two weeks prior to performances, even (and especially!) in rehearsals except for solos.

    9. If he truly has the passion for theater, it’s worth it. My daughter dropped her other activities in favor of choir and theater halfway through high school, and it changed her life. Theater and choir finally gave her a supportive community and a group of friends who weren’t bullies (which was a surprise to me, as when I was in music school all the theater kids were just awful and nasty). The structure and responsibility of juggling rehearsals and classes, then directing a show and playing the lead in another, actually helped her navigate a challenging courseload better than she did when she had more free time (although she made some prioritization errors that she did learn from). All of her self-confidence and initiative comes from theater and choir, and I’m pretty sure the only thing that made her want to go to college was the chance to continue with music and theater. She’s now having the time of her life at an excellent college I like to call “choir Hogwarts,” double-majoring in vocal performance and economics and performing in musical theater and opera. She is motivated to get herself established in a good career so she can continue performing in community theater after graduation. Theater and music are literally the reason for everything she does. If she’d continued on her previous path she would have just kind of bounced around in college with no particular aim.

       1. At my high school, the choir was full of bullies and the theater kids were the generally-accepting, weird nerds (the spring musical was usually chock-full of drama because the Big Deal Sopranos had to slum it with the theater kids). My kid does a lot of extracurricular music stuff which is a good crowd, but steers clear of the drama department because of the drama.

          1. As a teen, there was a pretty firm line of demarcation between the divas and everyone else in band, orchestra and theatre. Flutists, violinists, and sopranos all got a very wide berth from the rest of us who were there to have a good time in addition to doing solid work.
             My BF was formerly married to a soprano and later said he very nearly lost interest when he found out my first degree was in music because of his experience with his former wife’s constant drama (I am not a soprano or even a vocalist, and was just like yeah, of course she was drama, it’s baked in).

             1. As someone who played the flute in high school, majored in flute performance in college, and is now a mezzo-soprano who sings in the local symphony chorus and two church choirs, I am here to tell you that at least 90% of behind-the-scenes drama in the music world is caused or abetted by teachers, conductors, and other people in authority, all the way from middle school seating squabbles to the NY Phil brass scandal.

             2. I do think there is something to the “aid-and-abet” part by the people in authority. My high school drama director was in many ways an amazing person and director, but they were also very rigid and controlling about having any other adults around or any other adults having any authority. Some of the stuff that was said and/or happened was definitely in the realm of verbal abuse, and they weren’t good at mediating or stopping some of the straight-up bullying behavior I endured.

18. another GLP1er who has strength trained 4x a week for 5-10 years.

19. Tech week and everything you don’t personally have to be at: find a carpool.
    Homework: he’s 8, how much could he possibly have? Do it to and from the theatre, or as soon as he gets off the bus. If school has a later start time, he should do it first thing in the morning. Alternatively, if this is really all-consuming, talk to the teacher and get work up front and have him work on it over the weekends. I really don’t see how an 8 year old could have that much work and that little time to do it it though :).
    Food: eat to and from the theatre. If it’s allowed, pack some food for while he’s there.

    Source: mom of 3 kids that do no fewer than 20 activities between them at all hours of all days, endless carpools, and my 3rd grader is also a theatre kid (mercifully she’s not good/i don’t send her anywhere fancy so her tech week is just 2 week nights and she only has one weekday dress rehearsal leading up to 3 shows that are all over one weekend). My other two do swim team which is it’s own h3ll…two kids at two separate practice times 3 nights a week and one doesn’t get home until 9pm. My theatre kid is also on a dance team and that one I just throw myself at the mercy of our neighbor with a daughter on the team and Captain of the Carpool.

20. Bragging here bc it would be odd anywhere else –

    We had a couple management trainings where they had us roleplay situations with other managers at the company, like talking to a low performer or other tough management situations. Generally I got very positive feedback, and someone said I was “friendly but firm” – which is exactly what I was going for, so I’m happy about that!

    1. I had to do role play like that and because I was the only woman in the group, they all asked me to be the woman who cries. I actually managed to whip up a few tears. This was a decade ago and I still feel like I betrayed my gender.

21. Can someone recommend a resource for how to reallocate your kid’s 529 as you get closer to college? (sob) And — is anyone changing any investment plans for the Trump admin?

    1. I just invested my kids’ in the age-adjusted fund and it worked out perfectly. Is that an option in your plan?

    2. Scroll down about a 1/3 of the way on this page, there’s a chart by age of child.

       1. https://smartasset.com/investing/529-investment-strategy-by-age

22. I’ve opened my own law firm 5 years ago. I am so tired but it is thriving. I have to constantly rework and retool the processes and am always right on the line of payroll clearing (with back up in savings) because I put everything back into development and marketing. Considering the timeline of COVID, it’s a near miracle. Most of my mentors sold their practices or joined bigger firms.

    I shop at TG Maxx like places, no expensive jewelry, no real splurges, and that’s fine. I have a pretty normal Honda car nothing fancy. I still have student loan debt 16 years out of law school in six figures which I pay a lot toward but doesn’t make much of a dent. Only other debt is a mortgage which I’ve paid about half at an accelerated rate making extra payments and I put a ton into repairs of the house. My retirement savings is on track and a mixture of Roth/401k rolled over from other jobs, etc.

    I want a nice pair of shoes. I’m in my 40s and I’ve never cared about nice purses or clothes or shoes, I try to just look professional and polished. I do my own mani pedi, I wear minimal makeup, etc.

    Should I get red bottoms? I want to splurge just one time but there’s also guilt because I have debt. I have no children or pets. I go out maybe once a month and wouldn’t wear them to work but what would you do? I don’t want a bag. I have a frugal vacation planned and already paid for to do a trip I’m excited to do next year.

    Been on this blog since Ellen – since before there were ads. Love ya Kat!

    1. I would buy Stuart Weitzmans. They are very nice shoes, but a lower price point than red bottoms, and they are generally incredibly comfortable, which is not what most people say about Louboutins.

       SW also has an outlet site which is first-run shoes over at the outlet, not second-tier quality. Also recommend. Good sales. You can get $600 heels for ~$250. Worth it.

    2. I would not buy an expensive pair of heels. It’s not something you need. Your business is has survived but isn’t yet thriving. Stay focused on building your business and get the shoes when you aren’t so close on payroll. Sam Edelman are $150-200 and are great. Red bottoms are $900+.

       1. Thank you this is helpful!

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