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Splurge Monday’s Workwear Report: Waverly Sculpt Stretch Crepe Dress

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A woman wearing a green dress and black pumps

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

This dress from The Fold comes in what the brand calls a “spring green” color, but I’d be pretty excited to wear it this fall. The geometric neckline has an effect that’s similar to a V-neck but with a little more flare.

I would add some chocolate brown accessories to make the color feel a little more autumnal, but this is a stand-alone piece that doesn’t need too much added to it. 

The dress is $565 at The Fold and comes in U.S. sizes 0-12.

Sales of note for 10/2:

248 Comments

  1. I have an older version of this dress (when it came to the knee vs. midi length) and it was perfect for headshots – formal but the neckline gives a nice amount of interest.

  2. How do you think about dressing more authoritatively in a very casual office?

    I work at a tech adjacent company . Everyone dresses in a range from pretty casual to business casual light. A dress like the one featured today would be too formal though.

    I am also one of the few women leaders in my department. It’s not the type of office where anyone would ever say anything about how I’m dressed, but I want to look like the boss without looking out of place.

    What do others in this position wear? More casual third pieces? Smart casual? For example I’ve gotten a lot of mileage out of interesting but work appropriate dresses – and one has (small) polka dots!

    1. I have this same challenge. I’ve been shopping for pants with some interest, like tailored but super wide-legged, with fitted tops and a third piece like a jardigan or cropped jacket. I think good shoes and some jewelry for a finished and deliberate look are helpful, too.

    2. How about dressing more intentionally? Not sure anyone ever succeeds in giving off “authority” through their clothes.

    3. I absolutely hate wearing jackets, but I think a jacket gives the authoritative look. I’m not great at clothing, so I cannot explain why. But a woman in particular wearing a jacket gives off more of that vibe than a woman in a dress or blouse only or who is wearing a sweater.
      I won’t comment on the fact that men don’t seem to need a jacket to convey the same message; oh wait, I just did.

        1. I don’t think this is in their head at all. When you go to conferences or big meetings the men are usually wearing slacks & button downs without a blazer but all the women are either wearing an interesting blazer of some type or an interesting dress that doesn’t need a blazer.

          1. The men are always in blazers at the conferences I go to, maybe not a tie but always a jacket.

          2. I think its more pronounced in industries with a more casual dress code actually. The men went formal -> casual end of business casual. The women stayed more formal.

            It’s going to differ by industry though! I just definitely wouldn’t say its in someones head. The whole reason this blog exists is that clothes do affect how people perceive you.

    4. Fairly casual base topped with a cool blazer. Keep the accessories high end: Good shoes, interesting glasses, smart jewelry.

      1. I think you have to be careful with the glasses. I can always tell who thinks “glasses with an edge” is a thing.

        1. Maybe? I would choose glasses with an edge over drab, old fashioned safe choices in tech, unless they’re so outdated that it is its own fashion statement.

      2. Where do you buy blazers or jackets from?

        I think it just can’t be a cardigan. Needs to have some structure. I’m wearing like a linen tommy bahama jacket today which also works.

    5. My uniform is trouser jeans, a blouse and a blazer or sometimes a blazer as a top and polished shoes. Hair done and lipstick. C-suite, also casual company.

      1. +1 very similar. colored jeans get a lot of runway for me as well, especially white trouser jeans. And the blazers/jackets are more fun/interesting than formal environments would wear.

        I also feel more polished since I started getting regular manicures – not required at all for any others, but it makes me feel a step up.

        OP you can also make a more formal outfit more casual by layering on jewelry, if that is your style.

        1. I love jewelry so definitely can do that.

          This is actually what our CEO does wear – not too fancy a top but nice statement jewelry.

          I agree with the manicures. TBH I think it just makes me feel better, I’m not sure how much other people notice.

        2. I made the comment above and all of this – especially have fun with jackets and jeans and wear real jewelry.

    6. I understand the dilemma! I have recently started dressing more “authoritatively” in my somewhat casual office now that my role has grown. The biggest change for me has been spending a few extra minutes on hair and makeup each day. I also put away my dress pant yoga pants and sweater cardigans. I love them, but I did not feel as professional in them! I also try to follow trends a little more each season. Nothing wild, but things like “espresso brown is big this season, let me find one or two work tops with that color”.

    8. Better quality basics. Think pressed button downs with thick cotton, nice knitwear, good trousers. Intentionaluxbish on insta normally has some good inspiration for brands to shop.

    9. I’ve learned that it’s so
      Important to be genuine as a leader so I don’t really try to portray anything through my outfit choices.

      1. This is my instinct, too. Like dress well, but clothes and edgy glasses aren’t going to make up for something that may be lacking.

        1. I know many people who believe the overly done look—red glasses, done nails, too much makeup—is masking a lack of substance.

        2. I do too. There’s a lot of expectation that you look the part once you hit a certain level. This isn’t advice for your first manager role (although I don’t think it would hurt).

    10. I think nicer jeans, jackets that may not be blazers, and maybe an interesting top with more casual pants if I didn’t want to wear a jacket.

  3. Getting married in 40 days! Your best wedding day advice, tips, and tricks greatly appreciated!

    We are doing a first look, anticipating 140-150 guests, and have a planner.

      1. +1. I really wish I stood up straight and put my shoulders back.

        Don’t start drinking until you’re done with your first dance. Force yourself to eat lunch and drink water. Don’t stress if you’re running late while getting ready- the wedding won’t start without you! Remember that your guests have no idea what the detailed plan looks like so they won’t notice if dessert is served 10 minutes late or the card box isn’t on the right table.

    2. Remember what matters: Marrying the love of your life. The rest is just background noise.

      1. + 1 million. Something will go wrong, someone’s feelings will be hurt and at the end of the day, the goal is to start your life with the person you love.

    3. Hold the bouquet lower than you think when taking photos. Your instinct will be to hold it near your waist, but it will look better in the pics if held lower.

      1. +1, it depends somewhat on the size of the bouquet. Mine wound up being larger than I expected and I had to be reminded to lower it in every photo. Make sure the stems are either wrapped, or covered in some way so you don’t stain your dress!

    4. About the logistics of the day – perspective. Something will go wrong, but odds are it’s only you and the planner that will actually know, and ideally only the planner!

      If you need notes for your vows, write them on a pretty notecard. Don’t be holding your phones at the altar. While on the topic, assign someone to monitor your phone and also take alllll the good pics of you both, the scene, etc. for you. Like, pick the friend that always has the best posts – has an eye for lighting, framing, etc.

      Aside from that… prioritize experiencing the reception with your new spouse! It’s all too easy to get tugged in different directions.

      1. I mean your wedding photographer is really who should be doing that and capturing your friend enjoying herself at your wedding.

        1. I think it’s meaningful to get photos from friends; some of them just know us better than any hired professional, even a really talented one, and the pro can’t be everywhere at once.

        2. Yeah that too, but people tend to be more relaxed around friends and phones vs. the photographer, and it will really scratch the itch of seeing pics from the day before you get the official ones! I’d be happy to do this for a friend.

    5. At some point, somebody is going to come to you with a cost you hadn’t anticipated but apparently need to anticipate (extra gratuities, a runner, suddenly realizing you need to rent extra heaters/fans/whatever). The cost will range but your immediate reaction will be ‘omg, I can’t believe we’re spending more money.’

      When this happens, just laugh and yell ‘bingo!’ in your head. It will happen and it’s fine. Coincidentally – today is my anniversary and I’m still pretty thrilled that I got married to that dude. He’s my #1 supporter and the best teammate I could ask for.

    6. Do a full walk through with your planner a few days early (not the day before) if possible – easier to fix issues with more than 24-hours notice. Hand off your phone and instruct your planner who your ‘fix it’ person is if you truly don’t want to be bothered day of. Have cash set aside for tips and make sure your planner gives those out so you don’t have to. Eat! I was starving at the end of the night since people kept interrupting us during dinner.

    7. At one point, ideally at least 2 days before the wedding, make the decision to no longer care about any problems or anything going wrong or anyone’s logistical issues, and just get your head into the moment and enjoy the ride. I remember making that decision at 4 pm two days before my wedding – and having the absolute BEST time after that.

      2. Yup, this. Also, as someone with a rainy day wedding – it seemed like the worst at the time, but at the end of the day it didn’t matter. I got to marry the love of my life and we had an amazing time and the rain stopped just enough for us to get some gorgeous outdoor pictures. And apparently it’s good luck!

      3. Huge one. I told my planner that I didn’t want anyone to ask us logistical questions day-of, and that I hired her and our catering company because we trusted them to make the right decisions so we could enjoy our day. We did have rain and I had to reiterate the message, but truly, there were so many things going on…whether we moved the ceremony inside or kept it outside was at the bottom of my list of things to give a F about. (Things I decided to give a F about: enjoying the day, having it be as relaxing as possible, spending time with my friends and family, marrying my husband, making sure I ate food.)

    8. At least for me, 6 weeks before the wedding is when everyone went crazy. People come flying in with last-minute requests that cannot possibly be accommodated; vendors drag their feet and waffle and won’t lock things down; it’s just a nightmare of riding herd on people who think that weddings have some magical exemption from the basic adult life requirement to just lock things down and move on.

      (Yeah I was miserable.)

      The language that I wish I had used is: “Too many moving parts,” then insert whatever you need. Last minute request that upends the whole thing? “Too many moving parts; let’s do that next family wedding!” Vendor won’t lock down? “Too many moving parts; we need to get this inked today.” Someone wants to change up something that’s already at the printer? “Too many moving parts; it will just have to do.”

      1. This, lol. A few weeks before our wedding I swear everyone forgot manners and etiquette. Stand firm in your decisions! In our instance……no we cannot invite 6 extra guests who we have never met (friends of in-laws) who just happened to be in town that weekend.

      2. The last minute requests and “helpful ideas” from family drove me crazy. I kept telling them the plan is already finalized and I’m not willing to introduce any complications. “Too many moving parts” is a great response that doesn’t open it up to debate.

    9. HAVE FUN!!!

      personally i didnt really drink at my wedding other than a few sips of champagne and was very glad abotu that decision. hydrate during the day. switch into comfortable shoes.

      but really – HAVE FUN

    10. Do everything you can to avoid getting sick between now and then. I got Covid about 3 weeks before my wedding and it really sucked.

    11. Practical advice – have a plan for how you are going to go to the restroom. Whoever it is, just accept that you are going to be really close with her in a handicapped stall as she holds layers of crinoline as you hover.

      Food – Order chicken fingers from room service as soon as you get back to your room after the wedding. That way you won’t be hungry as you and your spouse spend the next 40 minutes taking hundreds of pins out of your hair. Order double fries so no one needs to share.

      1. Take off your underwear and straddle the toilet, facing the tank. If you use the handicap stall it’s surprisingly easy.

    12. My daughter and her husband specified a phone-free ceremony. Guests were reminded on the R.s.v.p. page, a small sign was posted at the ceremony and I think the officiant said something before she entered. Everyone complied, and it was lovely to see everyone looking at them with their actual eyes and not through the camera lens on their phone. So, if you haven’t done that already, I highly recommend.
      And listen to your photographer. She’s been to a thousand weddings, so her advice is usually going to be good.

    13. Go on a date with your fiance a few days before the wedding. We went to an arcade (totally not normally us!) on the afternoon of Wednesday, before our Saturday wedding. Non-local family started coming in Weds evening and then bridal party on Thursday and it felt like things really got pretty social from then on out. Those couple of hours just goofing off with my soon-to-be-husband were some of my favorite from that week.

    14. If you can, sneak away with your new spouse for a few minutes after the ceremony, or during the reception, do it!

      Hold hands, focus on each other, make out a bit, whatever feels right – but cherish a tiny tender moment during the big party.

    15. Know what you’re doing after the wedding. DH wanted to go out with friends, I wanted to go back to the hotel. We should have figured it out in advance.

  4. I love this dress and everything from The Fold, but I would feel overdressed in almost every work setting.

    1. This dress is lovely and I wouldn’t hesitate to wear this to my office if it came in my size. I don’t find the length flattering on me though.

    2. I love the cut but despise this color. And green is my favorite color! Just a tough shade.

      1. I love this color but cannot wear it. It reminds me of Froot Loops which makes me smile.

  5. How do you get a good read on the weekend vibe at a SLAC? I have a kid who isn’t a partier. If there is nothing to do on weekends but study or drink a lot and the vibe tips to drinking a lot, she isn’t going to like it. At a huge school, she could find her crowd. She prefers a SLAC otherwise. Her friends are all at SEC schools and I went to a work hard / party harder college, so of no help at all. Maybe now that many colleges are > 60% women, the culture is just quieter?

    1. Let her make her own choice, even if she hates it.

      I went to a college I hated for financial reasons but am glad I had that experience. If somebody else in my life had picked my college, maybe it would have been better, but that’s not what being an autonomous human looks like.

      And as a note – yes, there is less partying now than their used to be… but even at a top party school you find your group – whether the a cappella group or the club sport or the volunteer kids or the (shared identity) group. Nothing is certain.

    3. Princeton Review usually talks about this.

      Campus cultures are different, but in general I would expect that a huge school would be a harder fit and a harder place to find one’s crowd for a non-partier than a SLAC unless it’s truly just a party school. My SLAC was considered work hard, party hard back in the day, and parties were still more socially optional than at the huge schools I’m familiar with, and the vibe was a lot quieter.

      1. I went to a huge school with lots of partying and there was also a significant group of students who didn’t. I actually think a big school can make it easier in some ways to find you people just because there are so many.

        1. Big schools with Greek life sometimes have a strong culture of who is “normal” that leaves whoever is not feeling on the margins, and they don’t always really band together there. Smaller schools without Greek life can’t always sustain that degree of cliquishness; people who are the Greek life type and people who are outliers will end up friends or friendly. SLACs also just congregate a lot of people who are similar because that’s why they chose to go there!

          I’m always happy to hear from people who found their people at huge schools, but I’ve heard a lot from people who felt invisible or fell through the cracks in a way I think is harder to do in a smaller context.

          1. I went to a big 10 school with a big Greek system and there were still plenty of people who didn’t fit that mold.

          2. I’m not questioning whether there are a lot of people who didn’t fit the mold. I’m questioning whether a greater percentage of them were able to find their crowd than at a smaller school.

          3. I mean, I think it can really go either way! I had two friends who stared out at small schools and transferred out because they didn’t feel like they fit in. I’m just saying that size isn’t necessarily the deciding factor, it’s more the campus culture and availability of options.

          4. Then I agree with that! I wasn’t sure OP was on the right track with the assumption that everyone can find their crowd so long as the school has enough people. People sometimes experience a big difference moving between two major cities, let alone campuses, so there’s more to it than population size.

    4. What does she want to be doing on weekends? I went to a small school in a rural location and was part of outing club and would go camping and hiking. I was also in an engineering team and would work on those projects, or work in a lab on weekends. We also had a D1 sports team and would go to those games on weekends with the rest of the university.

      I did go to parties as a way of being out with other people, not to get wasted. That’s just part of college.

    5. I think at a SLAC it is doubly hard because many of them are so remote (Sewanee, some places in the NEUS), that if you aren’t from around there and don’t have a car, you can be a sad SOL kid until you can transfer to a place that hopefully you get right the second time.

      I partied a LOT in college, but some people I met later went to remote SLACs with just terrifying levels of drinking. At a big school, you can at least see who is in and working (or in the non-social library floors with you) when everyone else is out drinking. Like the bible study and FCA kids all knew each other and were pretty close. I think it’s also hard to be a transfer student (socially).

      1. I went to a NEUS SLAC in a very remote area as a non-drinker, and this wasn’t my experience at all. The party scene seemed all-encompassing from the outside, but I met people on my orientation trip and people on my floor that were not into partying, and they formed the basis for a wonderful group of people whom I’m still friends with thirty years later. We hung out on our own sometimes, went to parties other times, worked at the campus coffeehouse on Friday evenings, and got involved in a lot of clubs. Even when we went to keggers, there was no pressure to drink. The 6-man suite of junior and senior men across the hall kept juice in their fridge for me, and double checked that my drinks were safe (unasked!) when we were at parties elsewhere. I would have your kid look for clubs that they are interested in and find out how active they are, but there are plenty of ways to have fun without partying, even at hard core party schools.

      2. Fun to see Sewanee called out! I attended Sewanee pre-internet (thank God!), and yeah, the Greek scene was *the* party scene. But you could also go to the Student Union for movies, play pool in the Common, go to the Cross for the sunset, hang out with your friends at a few burger joints…

      1. Agreed. But that doesn’t sound like a SLAC (at least the ones that pull from all over the US). In my state, it’s the schools that started as commuter campuses of a State U that now have some dorms, but starting as freshman, you have a roommate that leaves every weekend b/c her boyfriend is back in her hometown (which is <2 hours away). It's not like that at the main campus. But because kids are at a SLAC all the time but probably aren't working F or S night, what do you do? There is wide range between vomit on the stairs every Wednesday and just having a social activity you can go to on the fly to relax, have fun, and meet people.

        1. There are SLACs that are more regional where a lot of kids do go home on the weekends.

          Other than whether everyone leaves or stays over the weekend, I think the idea of gauging the “weekend vibe” is a red herring. It’s really about the general culture and whether you can find your people. If you aren’t a partier and everyone else is, you won’t fit in on weekdays either. If you’re a liberal artsy kid you are not going to be happy at a school that’s focused mainly on business (yes, some SLACs are moving in this direction). You can get a pretty good read on culture from a campus visit while classes are in session. When my daughter visited colleges she was quickly put off by those that weren’t a good cultural fit, and she accurately identified the one that best fit her values and priorities.

      1. Not really. Students do sometimes transfer over this and find that the grass is far, far greener elsewhere.

          1. Or just any homogenous school that isn’t a great fit (the other outliers may not be your people either).

    8. it has been many many years since i visited colleges, but i recall visiting Amherst and our tour guide (who truthfully shouldn’t have been giving tours) said there was nothing to do on the weekend except for play cards. also – i was NOT a partier in high school, and not a big drinker, but definitely became more of a partier in college (though i still would not have described myself as a ‘party girl’) and compared to some others I was not at all a ‘party girl,’ but had my share of fun

      1. I appreciate his candor at least! And I can play me some poker, but not every weekend straight for four years. OMG that sounds awful. And you are kind of stuck in that location even if you had a car (no funds for a hotel and maybe if you are from Illinois you don’t know anyone with a futon to sleep on at a nearby school).

        I didn’t go to school in Boston, but was aware of things like Head of the Charles and various traditions and events, such that you’d never need to plan really and that something would always be going on that you could stroll over to with a friend.

    10. I think it’s tough to know, but the poster who suggested Princeton Review is on the right track–these schools have reputations that you can start to get a read on. There are probably other resources these days, too, but I applied 20 years ago, and my own kids are 10 years away, so I’m less sure what people are looking at now.

      The poster who asks what she affirmatively wants to do on a weekend and looking for that stuff is also onto something I think. You may also be able to dig into that more, asking questions like how often the outdoor club runs trips, is there an interest house for the community service group, do students form their own musical groups that practice on the weekend?

      Finally, I’d look to whether a school has Greek life. The SLAC where I grew up had it; the SLAC I attended did not. I’m not sure that overall levels of drinking differed between campuses, but I’m fairly confident that the feeling of there being a main social track you were either On or Off was present in a strong way at the Greek campus and less elsewhere

    11. My college example is that when I went, we had kegs and all of the main social action was on campus or at a handful of bars across the street. The bars are still there, but all of the on-campus partying has been pushed off campus. I think this is, risk and headline-wise, better for the college, but worse for everyone, particularly for freshmen (girls can easily go to off-campus parties, but at their peril; boys aren’t welcomed generally unless they are already fraternity pledges or have older friends). It’s probably good for the Uber drivers. IDK how many other colleges operate like this now, particularly at schools where only freshmen live on campus, but it seems like it gets you away from easily walking through familiar areas and using a buddy system to stay safe when you try to go out.

    12. Your daughter should be leading the charge on this. She can find current students to talk to during an on campus tour, through a program organized by the admissions office, or (ideally) using her own network.

      1. That’s kind of the problem with SLACs though — they are small! I don’t know that I’d have known someone who went Davidson or W&L or Bucknell or Smith. I had seen Love Story and Animal House and that is what I thought colleges were like.

        1. This is not a real problem. When I was a recent SLAC grad, admissions had some prospective students contact me. It was fine.

          1. I should add that I wouldn’t have talked to their moms! The person who is actually going to be attending the college needs to be getting a feel for whether they want to go there.

          2. This was also my experience as a new grad from a SLAC (years ago now). I as happy to talk to prospective students. There is no way I would have talked to a potential student’s mom.

        2. If your daughter doesn’t want heavy drinking, don’t have her go to W&L. My liver is made out of titanium after that experience. :)

          1. Wow — even now? I went there eons ago for law school and the undergrad was like that then. I thought they built a lot of new undergrad housing on-campus to cut down on that a bit or at least not have people wrecking their cars on the winding roads pre-Uber (if there even is Uber in Lexington).

    13. If you have her stats (class rank not grades – grade inflation is insane), geographic limitations, and cost limitations, please post here. I can suggest colleges that have vibrant campus cultures and are small.

    14. Does the school have an admitted students weekend/visit program? If you can swing it logistically, letting your kid go to that for their top 1-3 choices can really help with those vibes questions

  6. Beautiful dress. I got an immediate Joan from Mad Men vibe from it, not in a bad way. All it needs is her pen pendant and a brooch. :-D

  7. How are we wearing blouses now?

    I don’t see collars now, just a rounded neckline, maybe with pleating (I see on my SM feed; hard to find IRL; it’s mainly too many ruffles for a work piece for my taste). I’d love any good links.

    But what I am hating is that pictures are just showing a blouse and pants. Never any jackets (suggesting they may be harder to style, especially since jackets refuse to have full sleeves until winter) or third pieces.

    What is a good current “relaxed business” vibe for styling? I can do a full casual look, but need to look more formal without wearing a full suit.

    1. I wear just a blouse with a collar and pants on most days. I put a cardigan over it in colder weather. What are you having difficulty with?

      1. I guess I am struggling with making it look more like a complete outfit and also noticing that when I don’t wear a jacket, the rise of pants can look really weird on me (like if the waist is too high / large because I’m a pear, there is too much fabric and it’s really front-and-center vs more obscured). Pants are so tricky and they are having a moment and I think my body needs a lower rise, at least in the front. Even a belt is no help and just draws the eye in.

        2. Yeah, that’s definitely an issue with high-rise pants. At least it is for me (also a pear). I prefer tops that don’t need tucking. I am personally really liking collared tops that have short tails and are clearly meant to be hanging out rather than tucked in. Madewell’s Y-neck top, specifically.

        3. I think you need to find the pant rise that works for you and experiment. I need a higher rise pant and tuck my blouses in and wear a belt. I happened upon that look one day while playing with clothes in my closet and it’s worked well for me ever since.

  8. Should ask AI but I will ask you:

    How do you tell a BigLaw client nicely that their insistence on trying to get discounts of 50% when they aren’t a high-volume client is not going to work and no one is going to want to do their work when they can chose work for other clients who pay market rates and actually keep a roof over our heads in terms of volume? The people are nice but there are cost managers insisting it is this way or the high way and if we can’t come to a third way, we will be choosing the highway.

    1. I’d say something like “we value your business, but the attached rates are the lowest we’re able to accommodate for hourly work. If you’d be interested in alternative fee arrangements for specific projects, we can look at that.” That is, if you’re willing to do so!

    2. Depending on how valuable the client is, you may explain gently that your rates are market rates, based on a number of considerations, and you would regret seeing them go, but in the spirit of cooperation and in recognition of your long-standing excellent business relationship, your firm is willing to cut your legal services hourly rates by 5% (and then be prepared, if appropriate, to cut your rates by 10% as a retention measure). Needless to say, your firm absorbs the loss as part of overhead/marketing, rather than putting the financial burden for this arrangement on the individual lawyers working on their matters. Bottom line, if they can’t afford your firm, they can’t afford your firm, but if you are a BigLaw firm, you have some price flexibility, given your overall size and volume of work in the aggregate, so there should be procedures in place for this sort of client retention situation.

    3. Tell them the market rate is the rate and let them hit the highway or walk back their threats.

    4. In-house counsel at a big global company here. I hired my old firm for a specific issue and didn’t realize that our standard engagement letter asks for significant discounts. Had an honest conversation with the Biglaw partner in charge (also a former mentor of mine) and agreed that that much of a discount didn’t make sense for the volume of work we were anticipating. I had a chat with the person on my team who oversees external counsel and we agreed on a much lower discount + some credit on future work. Basically, talk to your client. Hopefully they aren’t idiots and can understand this. I will say it took a while because the downside of a big company is I need a million approvals for everything, but eventually everyone found a mutually beneficial arrangement and we have sent them more work since.

      1. This is good advice. It’s not that you can’t give the discount. It’s more that you need to find a way to work in the discount and they should understand that.

    5. Use Cat’s script.

      Having been on the in-house side, I will say that some smaller companies are irrational about hiring BigLaw. Many of these mid-sized companies are owned by PE companies; the PE companies insist on using top-flight law firms for outside counsel, and then also expect the discounts that they enjoy for larger work.

      Or the GC is former BigLaw and believes that mid-law cannot get the work done to an acceptable quality. As the cost is all out of proportion to what the company can handle, the company wants discounts.

      This to say, unless its company-ending litigation or M&A that fundamentally changes the character of the company, most of the time, BigLaw isn’t appropriate for these low-volume matters.

      1. Also, having been on the other side of this, sometimes you work for an irrational person that demands you “negotiate” with every possible supplier, for unreasonable terms. Sometimes I just need you to say “Nope!”, so I can tell my CEO “yep, I asked, it’s not gonna happen, so just approve the PO already”

  9. Getting a total knee replacement in two weeks, and I would greatly appreciate your best knee replacement surgery advice, tips, and tricks. (Off to hand in my surgeon-certified application to the DMV for a handicap parking tag, now that I am two weeks out from the surgery.)

    1. This might be tmi, but get colace and take them~pain meds cause personal plumbing backups. It also helps eat fruit salad, esp with plums and berries. If someone can lend you one of those toilet seat lift things it will be useful.
      Be assertive in asking for in-home pt for the 1st 2 weeks.
      Long phone charging extension cords.

      1. Colace has been proven to be no more effective than a placebo – despite this, some doctors still recommend it (but when I’ve asked they’ve always agreed about its effectiveness). I think it is more common now to recommend Miralax.

        1. I wonder if it’s one of those things where it works for some people and not at all for most people so the math works out to ~useless, or if it’s really just useless!

        3. The instructions for Colace are to take with plenty of water. The water is what gets things moving, so providers figure that if it gets people to drink more water, then cool.

    2. Follow the surgeon’s instructions exactly as to how long you are supposed to be down and how long you are supposed to be up each hour. I used a timer on my phone for compliance for the first knee and winged it for the second one. The first one was better.

      Get a basket for the front of the walker – one with a plastic inset that has a cup holder. This gives you freedom to get your own drinks and carry small items around the house. You can even ferry small loads of laundry etc.

      Do the physical therapy, both appts and at home, exactly as prescribed. It’s a massive PIA in my opinion but I followed exactly in the first one and less so on the second, and it showed. If you are having pain and you take the pain meds, time them so that you have maximum efficacy at the time of your pt. If you are having trouble reaching the goal for extension, regularly hanging your heel on an ottoman and letting gravity do the work helps.

      If the swelling gets painful or is just more than you want in the moment, get on your back on the floor near a wall, scooch up with your butt to the wall and put your legs straight up the wall. Five minutes helps, ten or fifteen is better. It’s a good time for EarPods with music or a podcast.

      If you are having swelling and are able to sleep with your legs elevated, it really helps.

      Being released to work and drive has less to do with your post-surgical progress than it does with whether or not you’re taking opiate pain meds. My job is mostly at a desk and I was released at ten and twelve days respectively for my first and second knee replacements because I just didn’t take the pain meds except half a pill before pt appointments for the first knee, which had very painful pt. It helped that I was able to elevate and ice at the office. My admin assistant became accustomed to walking in my office and finding me with my legs up the wall.

      They will probably tell you ten months to full recovery. I found that to be true, but also found that I reached an “adequate to go about my usual life” much, much sooner than that. It was just that sometimes I got some swelling and had to elevate and ice at the end of the day.

      Good luck to you! It’s not terrible, and you will feel so much better later.

    4. Have a rotating schedule of people to help you. When my dad had his knee replacement, my brother did the first 4 days at home, then I did 5 days, then my aunt (his sister) did a week. We needed a fourth person, or else we needed him to spend the first two weeks in a recovery facility. We were all completely wiped out by the time he agreed that a skilled nursing facility was the answer.

      Trust your physical therapist on what exercises you need to do, and how much. Then do the exercises. If they hurt beyond aching and soreness (because you will be using muscles that are unaccustomed to moving) tell the therapist.

    5. When I had a patellarfemoral knee replacement, the biggest thing was having an abundant supply of ice for the ice/compression sleeve thingy. We live in an apartment, so DH was making ice in lots of odd containers. If you have a second freezer, it makes sense to stock up ahead of time.

      1. Yep. They may tell you that frozen water bottles in the cooler part of the machine work fine. They do not. There is no comparison between that and actual ice water in the compartment. Get bags of ice stockpiled in your freezer or someone willing to make ice runs.

  10. I have a cheap paperclip style gold tone necklace that I wear all the time. As a birthday gift to myself, I’d like to upgrade it with something in a similar style but higher quality. Does anyone have a recommendation for something ~$300? Is something in that price range actually worth the money? I know nothing about jewelry.

    1. What is your chief dissatisfaction with the current necklace?

      I think you’d have to spend a little more for gold (I checked Costco), but you could spend a lot less on gold plated (I checked TJ Maxx). I don’t have an actual recommendation though, except that shopping in person is worth it for things like this.

        1. Sometimes a friendly local jeweler can fix this sort of thing for you, and then you can check out their wares while you’re there (or express that you’re looking to upgrade and see what they say!).

          2. There’s a difference between a good as new repair and just tightening up a gap the way we’d do at home if we had better tools for it. But maybe I’m picturing the issue wrongly.

    2. $300 is not enough to get a real gold necklace with today’s gold prices. I would wait until you can afford it and go to a local jeweler to see what they have. Shop a few if you don’t like the first one you to. Local places that buy gold also tend to have good selections. Don’t waste your money on plated pieces.

    4. Quince has one for just over $300, just make sure you’re looking at the 14k one not the vermil

  11. I’m looking for some interesting, yet work-appropriate, sweaters. Is Boden my best source for something like this? I am sick to death of black, navy, and camel. Any other ideas? Size 14/16. I know Talbots has color, but that brand has never fit me well.

    1. Boden and Tuckernuck have been good options for me in this category. I find Boden a little twee but they reliably have solid styles in more colorful options. Tuckernuck has more current styles and different types of cuts.

    3. Cara Cara, La Ligne, Eleanor Leftwich, are some other options with EL being very spendy but lovely. The others are more affordable.

    4. Alex Mill has a bunch of colors. JCrew has cashmere tees in other colors, including a gorgeous blue, and a classic red. Agree with Boden for other colors, and their cashmere is solid.

    5. I was in Nordstrom Rack this weekend and there were cashmere tees in multiple colors for $59.

  12. Overthinking logistics and looking for input from NYC friends. I have a series of meetings downtown/Financial District and then I am flying out of JFK for fun (totally non-work) reasons in the evening.

    I always plan for potential delays, so it makes the most sense to bring my suitcase to the meetings and then grab a coffee before making my way to JFK. I’m a little self conscious because it’s not work travel, but I’m going to just be cool and not overexplain.

    First, would you bring a plain roller bag or a backpack style carry-on. Personal item is my OMG2 bag.
    Second, is this the best approach? I shouldn’t spend the hour plus to drop my bag at an office uptown and then go all the way downtown to meetings and then have to go back uptown to pick up my bag, right? I’ve always been wary of those luggage storage places but do I use one of those?

    1. It’s so normal for people to have suitcases at work meeting for things like this! Just bring a normal carry on and you can find somewhere to keep it. Some offices have a closet specifically for this.

      1. +1. No one will bat an eye at suitcase in the conference room. I intentionally buy respectable-looking luggage tags knowing clients would see them.

        1. Okay – OP and… THANK YOU. I was actually totally fine with all this, but it came up in a setting and somebody with a long professional career told me it was an unspoken rule that luggage is ONLY allowed if it’s business travel…

          Which at first I just did the classic ‘oh, interesting!’ response but found myself thinking about it this morning as I went through some slides… so Thank you for reassuring me that Plan A was the right one.

          1. I’ve never heard that. I might be self conscious bringing like a bright yellow bag that says in green lettering, Margarita Time!, or something like that, but if you have a normal bag no one would necessarily even know what your further travel is for.

          2. My suitcase is pink and came from a Wicked collaboration with a suitcase brand. I forget which right now. People love it.

            Right out of college working in big 4 consulting I had a harry potter phone case. It was a great conversation starter and no one thought it was unprofessional.

            Showing some personality is fine!

    2. I feel like this is a time when you get to be a normal human being doing normal human things (like dealing with a flight). Take your luggage with you. Use a suitcase or a backpack depending on which one you want to have on the trip, not on what people at the meeting might think. The fact that it’s a flight for fun vs. work is a non-issue. People are allowed to have fun!!

      1. +1. I sometimes think this place does a lot of harm in making women think that everything is a faux pas.

        2. Thank you – so it was actually a retiree who made this comment. Their reaction when they realized that I was going to have a suitcase in a conference room was basically like I had suggested I was going to bring a toddler riding a Great Dane with me into this meeting.

          One of my goals this year is to work on how I am perceived. I have always valued ‘substance over style’ to quote Paul Hollywood, but I’m working on how I am perceived a bit more… so I am being more ‘aware’ generally.

          1. Travel culture has drastically changed in the last few decades! Flights are cheaper and easier to book. Back when this retiree was junior it might’ve been uncommon to tack a personal trip onto business travel. They probably had to get on the phone with a corporate travel agent. Nowadays my young-ish coworkers frequently extend the trip because it’s easy to arrange.

    3. I wouldn’t think twice of someone who had a carryon along for any reason. All else being equal I’d use the roller because a backpack will rumple my outfit if I look at it twice.

  13. Nice pick! Comments above mention interesting blazers. Photos always style them with jeans, but I need them for work pants (often black) and, at least the ones I am drawn to, never quite look right. Any specific recs/links?

    1. What is off about the ones you’re drawn to — are you having trouble getting the neckline right? The fabric? The color? The proportions?

      Personally, I’d start by narrowing it down to only looking at blazers in colors you actually like to wear with black. There are very, very few colors I’ll happily wear with black, and feel good about the outfit the combo creates.

  14. Saying it here bc I feel I can’t say this in real life:

    I’ve always looked extremely young. Complete baby face here. I’m in my early 30s and my friends are very into anti aging skincare. The other day I saw my reflection during a conference and thought I looked older – and loved it! I look like an adult, not a child. I get that there are reasons to want to look younger when you’re older but I don’t necessarily want to look like I’m in my 20s forever, especially since I looked max 18 then.

    If I were turned into a vampire I’d want it to be in my 30s so I looked like that forever.

      1. Yep. Certain bone structures look amazing as you hollow out. Other features are less forgiving of sagging or hollowing. Obviously aging is inevitable and nothing to be ashamed of. But it’s fascinating to observe how certain classmates look better than ever while other people show their age early.

        1. I am finally understanding that saying that at some point, you have to choose between your face and your a s s. My face is actually looking really good for 47, and that’s without any fillers, Botox, etc. The little bit of extra fat I’m carrying is actually working for my face. Now, I hate literally everything that’s happening in my lower body, but my face and skin look as nice as they ever have.

        2. I have found it intriguing that among male high school classmates, some of the most average looking teens have turned into some of the most handsome men in their 60’s. And this is their natural selves. I’m in an area where aesthetic treatments for men are not really a thing, and grooming beyond the basics is also not really a thing.

      1. Not me! I didn’t find my ideal face until 42. No Botox or fillers, just a 20 point weight loss and some face exercises (yes I know, not “scientifically proven” blah blah blah) but I’m happy now at 45.

        3. I have always been a fiend for exercise (I’m a marathoner), so I peaked in my late 30s.

          Life… let’s just say there was a tsunami of stress in my late 30s that did a number on me.

  15. I’m someone who has passable tailoring/sewing skills. I’m in a season of life where I don’t really have time to make or tailor clothes for myself, nor can I really afford to buy new and get it tailored. (2 kids in daycare…) But gosh, buying clothes off the rack is miserable. Figuring out brands that fit right without too much work feels like a Sisyphean task. How do you guys get clothes that actually fit? I’m tall, skinny, no breasts, but some hips. I’ve also got long monkey arms, so all my winter clothes are oversized or made myself just so that they’re not 3/4 sleeve.

    1. Banana fits me pretty well off the rack, so even though my budget has gone up, it’s BR for life for me. I try on anything new and then re-order new variants of a similar cut when there are sales (Sue Sartor; not really fitted below the waist). I am pretty consistent above the waist but below is a geography that changes on a dime and with a mind of its own, so I am always looking for new items.

      1. I’ve been same on Ann Taylor, except their suiting this past season has been a complete miss for me, style wise. If they don’t get back to courtroom formal, I don’t know what I’m going to do.

    2. Have you looked at buying secondhand and then using the savings to pay for tailoring? The good news is quality is way better on older items, especially pre-Covid clothing.

    3. Spend more on fewer things. A Veronica beard blazer and pants will come tailored to a large extent if you’re thin. Buy and wear those pieces out.

    4. I think you just have to find the brands that work for you. Gap/BR talls used to have decent long sleeve and coat options. BR was really the only place I could buy suiting. Also designer brands sometimes are nice and long – check clearance.

    5. If you need Talls, here are some recs:

      Boden
      BR/Gap/Old Navy
      JCrew
      Ann Taylor
      Hit or Miss–Lands End, Eddie Bauer, Spanx
      American Eagle for jeans
      JCP for basics (they have great tees that are cut tall)

      Amalli Talli
      American Tall
      LongTallySally (beware–they have low quality–check fabrics before you buy. their jeans are solid)
      If you start following these on Insta, other brands will find you

      Brands that cut long but do not carry talls per se:
      Brooks Brothers
      Reiss
      Club Monaco

      For big shoes:
      jcrew
      nordstrom
      birdies
      Rothys
      marmi

  16. I got some layers cut in my hair and then the humidity kicked up and it looks beyond awful. What products can help flatten it out and de-puff? I am white and my hair is usually flat and limp. Now it’s just looking bad. I think product is the answer because I already blow it dry, which should ensure that it is straight until I go outside to walk the dog (when I have gotten back in after that, even a brush / comb through doesn’t work).

    3. This, a pea sized amount on your damp hair before styling

      https://m.aveda.com/product/17770/103080/styling/cream/smooth-infusiontm-perfectly-sleektm-styling-cream?size=5_fl_oz%2F150_ml

      If you don’t want sleek, just anti-frizz, get the Botanical Repair Leave In Treatment.

      And preferably also this, a couple of sprays in one hand, rub your hands together, and run them throughout your hair

      https://m.aveda.com/product/17768/16911/styling/style-prep/brilliant-damage-control?size=8.5_fl_oz%2F250_ml

      Your hair dryer can make a difference for frizz too. Best results come with a good hair dryer.

    5. What’s your normal hair texture?

      I swear by the smooth and sleek/green version of pantene for lots of thin fine hair (type 1A), but this will only work for this hair type.

    6. My hair is similar- frizzy in humidity and flat otherwise. My hair stylist recommended a combo hair dryer/brush to give volume and smooth finish followed by a light spritz of hair spray to tame the frizzies. It’s been a game changer for me. For some reason using a regular blow dryer and round brush don’t achieve the same result, and I end up with frizz.

    7. I have a smoothing attachment for my blow dryer. I’m not sure why it works but it really does work better for me than regular blow drying.

    8. Do you put in product before/after you dry it?

      I use a spray leave in conditioner (usually It’s A 10) before I dry with a Shark FlexStyle, and then right after I use just a little bit of Verb Ghost Oil. This has helped with the frizz a lot.

      However when it’s really bad, John Frieda Frizz Ease Secret Weapon Touch-Up Cream is fantastic and saves the day. I used to stash the Frizz Ease cream everywhere – car, office, travel bag – because it would really help a lot. My above routine though takes care of a lot of it.

  17. I’m presenting at an upcoming conference for my business formal industry. What color finger nail? I was thinking Pink Sands from Olive and June as neutral, but I’m worried it will look too young. For context, I’m late 30s presenting with much older panelists (70s and 80s). I want to appear experienced, but everyone knows I’m on the panel to solicit their “older and wiser” career insights.

    1. No one is going to notice this, wear whatever you want. If I’m going to a conference I do a dark red gel mani.

    2. you’re overthinking but personally I find opaque pastels high-maintenance because, like dark colors, every little chip stands out immediately. For that reason and no other I’d go with a more sheer pink.

      1. Disagree – no one will notice your nails if they are well maintained and (if polished) a mainstream color with no embellishments. If you show up with ratty chipped polish or bedazzled sharp points, people will definitely notice.

        That said, nobody will notice the difference between Bubble Bath and Big Apple Red (or some variation thereof).

        1. Op said she’s planning to have them polished. No one will notice which shade of pink she chooses.

    5. Pink Sands looks perfectly fine? It’s a neutral; I wouldn’t read it as young, old, or anything in between.

    6. OPI Lisbon Wants Moor is my go to pale pink neutral. I currently have it on my nails haha

  18. In your opinion, if one spouse has a special day off from work when no one else in the family does, are they justified in wanting to take the whole day off, even if there are some errands and chores to be done? I was talking to my best friend last week and her husband, who works for a tribal entity, had a tribal holiday off while she and the kids were at work/school. He was looking forward to having the day off to go fishing but she asked him to take care of some errands first and apparently it turned into a big fight. In her view, all she was asking for was stuff that would take 15 minutes at the most (for 2-3 different things) and he should have done them earlier in the week if he didn’t want them encroaching on the day off. In his view, he should just be “allowed” to have a truly free day without obligations once in a blue moon. Only one task was more urgent – stopping to pick up ear drops for one of the kids at the doctor. The rest was stuff that could have waited but that she wanted done.

    I’m of two minds on this – first, I side with my best friend because she’s my best friend and I know for a fact she does the lion’s share of the work in their household, plus ALLLL the mental labor. However, part of me also deeply sympathizes with her husband and that desire that we can all feel (perhaps especially so for outdoorsy people) to have a truly free day in nature. It’s not nothing to delay the nature day by an hour to knock off some chores that aren’t that urgent, especially for fishing when an early start counts. Thoughts on this?

      2. He could also just ignore her, which I would do if their instinct was to tell me to kick rocks.

    2. My husband definitely shares 50% of the home labor with me, maybe more because my job is more intense. And he gets off random state and local holidays whereas I only get floating holidays. I wish he did some of his chores or errands on his days off that are impossible to accomplish on the weekends and get backlogged. (Like returning an old canister of propane a full year later!) But if I raise it, and he declines, I don’t push. We explicitly agreed to our division of labor, and he’s pulling his weight. A parent with small kids especially never gets a day off and the home work will always expand to fill the time available. I think it’s important that parents remind themselves that their hobbies and interests and personal time matter, too.

      My answer might change if my spouse didn’t share the load. If I’m working more at work and at home, then I think it’s reasonable to expect that my DH run 15 minutes of errands on his day off.

    3. I suspect the fight is more about the unequal division of labor. I’ve only ever had these types of fights with my husband when he’s really not pulling his weight and I’m burned out.
      So, no, he’s not wrong to want a day off, but she’s also not wrong about the likely underlying need for him to do more and for her to also get more time back.

      1. This. It’s not about the day off. If it were, I’d tell her to back wayyyy off. It is not unreasonable to want a rare day to yourself. But, it sounds like there is a larger problem with division of labor.

        2. OP here and yeah, it definitely comes down to the division of labor thing. If I’m being honest, there’s a decent chance she made one of those chores sound more urgent than it was as a kind of “test” to put him through – although I hope not. We’ve had a lot of venting sessions about these issues over the years.

    4. I don’t believe in using holidays or vacation days for errands, chores, or projects.

      I also would never expect anyone else in my household to use their days off for this stuff.

      As a federal employee, I sadly get more of these holidays than my partner does (sadly in that I think all companies should honor federal holidays and losing these benefits is part of the takeover of everything by the ruling class).

      I pretty much exclusively use them for fun (and to get outdoors). I don’t even use them for projects that are kind of fun (a closet clean out, shopping for something specific).

      Note that if school or daycare is closed I of course don’t consider spending the day with my kids as a chore. But, I’m also not dragging my kids to the dentist or to run errands – we’re also going out on a fun outing

      1. Realistically though, if you have kids and two working parents… some PTO *has* to be used for life admin, and illness, and dentist’s appointments and other not fun stuff. It’s a problem if only Mom does that stuff on days off from work, and Dad has days off fully for leisure.

        1. Well I have sick leave I can use for caring of family members, including taking them to appointments.

          Almost everything else can be done before/after work if I flex my time.

        2. Some jobs have better perks than others. Let him have his day off. And then pick up some slack the rest of the week.

    5. I see both sides. If it was me, I wouldn’t give too much grief over the day off if they had a solid plan to get everything else done during the week.

      Otherwise, I would have a hard time accepting a chore list from my spouse.

      1. Yeah, I wouldn’t love that dynamic. It’s one thing if my spouse says, hey, I’m going to have some extra time, so let me know if there’s something you want me to take care of. Which he has done. It would be very different if I basically demanded that he spend his day off a certain way.

    6. Everyone gets their days off, your friend’s approach is the building blocks for resentment and divorce. Get things delivered and cut down on errands for everyone.

      1. +1 I don’t know if the ear drops are literally at the doctor’s, but the pharmacy with free delivery is the one that gets my business these days.

      2. I think a lot of couples struggle with different perceptions in what a day off means, though. Generally speaking, mothers are probably a lot more likely than fathers to spend the day in service to the household (even if they don’t HAVE to).

        1. They are allowed to make that choice! I know I do. But you don’t get to demand other people do the same.

    7. To answer the top level question, no, I wouldn’t expect the spouse off to take on more household chores than usual (or get them done specifically on that day) because they were off. However, I also would expect the day off to not create more work for the working spouse: the main scenario I can think of is if the one on a day off decided they wouldn’t do daycare drop-off or pickup which they typically always do on that day of the week.

      I agree with the other posters that it sounds like this particular scenario was not really about the day off, but something else.

      1. Yes. Chores and errands can expand to take all of your time. And yet you can just work them in and they still get done. A day off is precious.

    8. IMO this is the issue:
      “I know for a fact she does the lion’s share of the work in their household, plus ALLLL the mental labor”
      and not the exact timing of what gets done on which day, or figuring out ways for both spouses to get some “fully off duty” time if that’s important to them

      (although yeah, part of the deal of having small kids is when one of them needs ear drops, you gotta go to the pharmacy, even if you’d planned a day off fishing)

      1. The thing with the ear drops is that the doctor’s office opens at 9, which means you can’t drive 90 minutes away for fishing at 7. I’m sympathetic to that one, actually, since my friend could have also been the one to get the drops on her way to work, but as I said, I’m ultimately MORE sympathetic to her having to do everything.

        1. “Please send the script to the 24 hr pharmacy / the pharmacy that delivers this time”

          1. I don’t understand how people think pharmacy delivery is a magic solution. You still need to be home to receive those packages, they can’t porch drop off meds. They also don’t have specific delivery times, they do a route.

          2. Of course, Dad who wants to go fishing could also be the one to find a pharmacy that delivers, call the doctor’s office to get the script sent, and double check to see if someone needs to be home to sign for it.

          3. No sane person on earth is going to take all of those steps to get a new prescription sent somewhere and deal with the logistics of delivery if someone can just pick an existing prescription up on the way to/from work the next day.

            People here love to invent work for others in the name of “fairness.”

          4. They literally do drop off my meds. I don’t have to be home. It’s not like it’s a controlled substance.

        2. I mean, I don’t want to Monday morning quarterback someone else’s marriage. But coming in at 9:30 because you had to go by the doctor’s office to pick up ear drops is the kind of thing that takes capital at work, and it’s also not cool if Mom always has to take all the small hits that require flexibility, while Dad’s job is sacrosanct (unless a couple has specifically agreed together to do things that way, maybe to protect the job that brings in more income or whatever)

          But yeah, any chance your friend is open to hearing: “you sound super burnt out. Want me watch the kids some Saturday morning so you two can do an overall reset on division of labor and a plan that gets *you* some sacrosanct hobby time too??”

          1. I would lose my mind if my husband’s friends offered to child sit so he could “chat” with me about household stuff.

            It would be close to a relationship ended.

    9. Like others I think the context is the real issue here. I get some days off that my spouse doesn’t, and tbh using some of that free time to lighten the overall household load helps everyone, including myself! But I definitely spend half the day doing something fun.

      In husband’s shoes here I probably would have gone fishing in the morning and then done the errands on the way home, but we have a good division of labor so I have no baggage here.

    10. My husband has unlimited PTO plus many more holidays than I get. I am somehow the one who ends up taking my very limited PTO for kid and household stuff. You better believe he is doing house projects on those extra holidays.

    11. We’re DINKS and definitely a 50/50 household chore split, so different circus altogether, but I am really chuckling as I imagine asking my husband to do some errands before he goes fishing. He leaves at like 4am to go though.

      For this fight in particular, I think that your friend was wrong to try and put some kind of timeline on his day – “errands first” then fishing. Obviously the larger issue is that she doesn’t trust that the errands will get done if they’re not done first, which is a whole different thing. I probably would have went about it with this type of conversation – “hey do you think you could take care of these things sometime this week? we really need the ear drops by Saturday and I don’t know how I’m going to get to the doctor to pick them up.” and then left the guy to plan out when he was going to do it.

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