Weekend Open Thread

445 Comments

1. Another SF traveler…

   Next weekend with Dh who just got back from 5 weeks in Oz! and for my bday.

   How thoughtful.

   Staying at the Marriott Marquis near Union Square. Thoughts on a nice dinner? We’re meat eaters and often do Ruth’s Chris when on travels…some local suggestions?

   Also, if we take a day cruise to Alcatraz on Monday, and walk back through the pier area to the hotel…thoughts on midday dining? We will be casual then and have to pack up for the redeye back home…

   Will keep the layering thread earlier on in mind when packing. I usually go to meetings in SF in February, so this is likely to be different weather than I’m used to. Besides, meetings are dawn to dusk, so little exploring time.

   Is MOMA good and nearby for maybe a Sunday trip?

   Tia.

   1. You might try Bourbon Steak in the Westin St Francis or Wayfare Tavern for a meat-heavy meal that would be quite nice.

      On a walk back from the pier to Union Square, I’d probably wander in the Ferry Building and eat at Slanted Door for a nicer meal (but not one that requires dressing up) or gather different kinds of items for a more picnicky lunch (i.e. bread from Acme, cheese from Cowgirl Creamery, dessert from Miette or Frog Hollow, coffee at Blue Bottle).

      1. If you are steakhouse lovers, I would recommend Harris’s (def not a hipster crowd though) or House of Prime Rib (always a great lively crowd). Both excellent local joints.

2. Tia,

   our place for meat was the Zuni Cafe–wonderful food (localvorish) and fresh, home-made bread. it’s down market a bit from where you’re staying…but worth the trip. for lunch, try the Fog City diner. it’s along the Embarcadero, about half way to your hotel from where the ferries leave. And MOMA is wonderful anytime (I miss it)

   Andy

   1. This is great advice, but just so you know — I think the poster hmeant “TIA”, i.e. “Thanks In Advance”.

3. I tried to ask about this yesterday but apparently my comment got stuck in moderation, so here it goes again:

   2L, OCIs coming up at the end of this coming week. My interview outfit consists of a charcoal skirt suit, black shirt, black pumps, and pearl necklace/pearl earrings. The only element I don’t have nailed down, partly because I never wear them, is the pantyhose. So I turn to you, Corporettes: are pantyhose necessary (the weather here will be neutral – not too hot, not too cold, so that’s not a factor)? And if so, what colour should they be to go with my outfit/not look strange: black, or beige/taupe? And how sheer/opaque should they be?

   Small caveat – I have a little tattoo just south of my kneecap that, while not visible in the skirt while simply standing in place, can be seen sometimes while sitting down or while walking briskly, and I would perhaps be interested in the hose diminishing its visibility.

   1. Yes, pantyhose are mandatory for OCI and for your callback if you’re wearing a skirt suit. They should be more sheer than opaque; you don’t want to look like you’re wearing tights, which are less formal. The best bet is to wear ones that match your skin tone or are sheer. I also like the sheer off-black ones that look grayish, but that might look a bit off with a gray suit (I usually wear a navy suit). Sheer black hose, for some reason, seem more for evening than for business to me although with the black skirt and pumps that might look nice.

      I wouldn’t worry about the tattoo unless the tattoo is of something inappropriate or obscene. If you really want to cover it go for the sheer black and I’m sure it won’t be noticeable at all.

   2. I can’t tell where you are precisely, but I do NOT think that pantyhose is mandatory by any means for OCI. I did wear it for my clerkship interviews, but my reasoning there was that one ought to wear it to court, and therefore, wear it to the courthouse where the interview is taking place. If you do feel that pantyhose is necessary (it may be in the south?), I would wear mostly sheer skin-colored hose.

      As for the tattoo, for the interviews I might put some concealer on the tattoo itself if you choose not to wear hose. I do not think visible tattoos are appropriate for work, and therefore, not for interviews.

   3. Yes, pantyhose should be mandatory. No one is going to ding for wearing pantyhose; some may ding for NOT wearing it. I would go with either skin tone or off-black to go with your skirt suit.

      1. I was going to post this same comment yesterday. I completely agree. You never know how formal/informal the dress at a particular firm or office is, so it’s safest to assume that you should wear them. The way I look at it is it’s just giving yourself every advantage possible.

         1. Thanks, ladies – I hear the point about “no points lost for wearing pantyhose, but possibly points lost for not wearing them” and will err on the side of caution by wearing them. (I’m in the Canadian Pacific Northwest, BTW).
            The tattoo isn’t inappropriate or obscene at all, but it likely couldn’t be covered by concealer (it’s black, my skin tone is very pale). I think I’ll pick up some pairs of sheer black and some closer to my skin tone and try them out with the suit.

            1. There are concealers made for covering tattoos and birthmarks. Research it and I would use it. I have a non-visible tattoo and have nothing against a small tattoo…but may people would ding you for that. And it will likely show when you sit.

            2. Put a Band-Aid (or just the skin-colored adhesive part) over the tattoo and wear midweight or sheer nude-for-you hose.

               I think black hose is an evening look.

            3. ^^This is a great suggestion. Even if you don’t wear hose, I would assume a small band-aid near your knee meant you cut yourself shaving, which we’ve all done. So you won’t quite look like you stepped out of a magazine, but if they’re staring that intently at your knee to notice a flesh-colored band-aid and spend more than .2 seconds thinking about it, they’re checking out your legs too much.

            4. The bandaid is a good idea. You could also combine it with crossing your legs so your un-tattooed leg is on top.

               [Yay, CA PacNW – you’ll likely be ok regardless. ;) ]

4. Question to the well-heeled ladies out there!

   I recently got my first ever pair of truly expensive shoes. (Pre-sale price translated into USD: $800.) They hug and caress my feet like a stylish deep purple memoryfoam mattress. No slippage, no chafing. They are so well-made!

   PROBLEM: They are 4-inch stilettos and after 15 minutes on my feet I get shooting pains in the balls of my feet from my weight pressing down into them. Is this just how it is? Will gravity always punish feet on such a steep slope?

   1. They will likely never be your most comfortable shoes but it will most likely get better. My clearest memory of this is when a friend and I both got the same pair of killer high heels and both experienced this crazy pain right around the big toe joint. It was the same pain for both of us even though I see bunions in my future but she likely won’t ever get them. Over time, I realized I didn’t feel the pain anymore, though my feet were always glad at the end of the day when I eventually took them off. This has also happened with a few of my other shoes and they always got more comfortable. Glad you are happy with your new shoes! Enjoy!

   2. I can’t understand why people buy shoes that hurt, but having made my judgey comment, I’ll also offer useful advice: try foot petals and/or gel ball-of-foot pads. They really do help.

      1. I understand the judgeyness, don’t worry. Like I said, the pressure only starts to be noticeable after 15 minutes constant standing, which happily is less than my commute time. I spend enough time in the office that I feel it’s reasonable to own shoes I can only wear there.

      2. I get rid of shoes that are truly uncomfortable and don’t get better, but I assume almost all shoes have a break in period — from sandals to boots. At least for me. Also, most of the time I spend in my pretty heels is while sitting on my butt in front of a computer so not really an issue. :)

   3. Try Insolia or Dr. Scholl’s for Her high heel inserts. I find they do distribute the pressure away from the balls of my feet and make standing in heels more bearable.

5. Really, how wonderful is the Clarisonic Mia? I’ve read all the rave reviews on the Clarisonic website and amazon, but is it really great? Does it really improve skin tone, reduce pore size and make your skin look fabulous? Is it worth $120?

   1. Hm. I actually looked into this recently as a potential present, because my boyfriend has huge pores and hates them. When I searched to see if the Clarisonic Mia were available in Ireland, I found this:

      http://beaut.ie/blog/2011/clarisonic-the-final-verdict/

      which described a cycle of good skin, spot outbreaks, good skin, spot outbreaks…

      1. I have the Olay version of the Clarisonic, and that’s about the cycle I’ve had too. I am pretty careful to clean the brush head with antibacterial soap after using but I still have been getting breakouts, so I decided to stop using it for a month and see if they clear up.

   2. *SO* wonderful. Nothing can reduce the size of pores, but it can reduce pore visibility. It was worth the $ for me.

6. My tailor wants to charge me $350 to alter two suits. I really want him to alter them because I need to have suits to wear where I work and I only have a couple to wear, and I find that most suits I buy are around $300…. but is this crazy or what? He’s very good, I’ve used him a ton before and like him alot but I was curious if this is just crazy. I read that corporette post from yesterday and it almost sounds like I should be paying $100 for both suits combined! WTF? Just trying to see if should call him and have him stop the presses on altering these suits.. any thoughts anyone?? thank you!

   1. What alterations are you having done?

      Trouser hems usually run me about $18 for lined trousers, skirt hems about $15 for a lined skirt, sleeves about $25 if he has to move buttons. So for two suits that’d be $116. But if you’re having the waists tailored it could get pricey, especially if he has to open and resew seams, replace zippers, etc. That’s a lot of work.

      1. He is taking in two suits in all places — the sides of the chest on both jackets, the arms of one jacket, the sides of both skirts, and the darts in the back of one of the skirts, and the darts in the back of one of the jackets. One suit is lined and one is not.

         I just don’t know if I’m getting taken for a ride or not. Again, he does good work, and having a great fitting suit is really important, but this just seems crazy. The quote for one of the suits alone was $200!

         1. That price doesn’t sound too unreasonable. Jacket alterations are typically really expensive, especially when you’re talking narrowing sleeves. That requires the tailor to take apart the entire jacket, take in the sides (to make the armhole smaller) and then redo the sleeves to fit the new armhole. If there’s a lining, that’s twice the work.

            Before you invest in these alterations, I do think it might be a good idea to see if you can find new suits that need minimal alterations off the rack.

         2. Yeah, that charge doesn’t sound unreasonable. You’re essentially asking him to make you a suit if he’s taking it in everywhere.

      2. Errr, not whether I’m getting taken for a ride, but whether I should go somewhere else/could get a better deal somewhere else, or should invest in another (newer) suit instead. I’m hesitant on the one hand b/c I’ve had BAD alterations before, and that didn’t turn out well…. but again, this is alot of money!

   2. If you’re having a lot of stuff done, and one of the suits are lined, I think about $350 is kind of reasonable. So for the lined suit, to take in all the stuff that you said he’s doing, he has to (a) take out the lining, (b) take out the seams that are already there, (c) re-sew the seams, (d) fit the lining to the new seams, (e) re-sew the lining back in so it doesn’t show. So, basically, he’s building you a new suit. In terms of man-hours, that would take a long time, and would be accordingly expensive. So $350 for 2 seems pretty reasonable…

   3. Maybe a tad high but not by much. I lost a good deal of weight and decided to have my two nicest suits altered instead of buying new ones. I spent close to $300 for two lined jackets, a lined pair of pants, and a lined skirt.

   4. Sounds expensive to me, but it may be that you get what you pay for . It also sounds like a lot of alterations–maybe you could find a new suit that fits you much better and pay for minimal alterations. I usually do not pay over $300 for a nice suit, on sale from AnnTaylor, Talbots, Brooks Brothers, etc. Granted, it takes being on the lookout, but I’d rather pay for a good-fitting suit that does not need much in the way of alterations.

      I paid $65.00 for a jacket to be taken in one time, onan expensive suit I had purchased for a great price on ebay. After that, I determined not to buy anything needing so much in the way of alterations.

   5. Yikes $350! You might just be better off buying a new suit that fits off the rack. I am a petite so I know all of the difficulties of buying a suit, but I can recommend a few places: Banana republic, Ann Taylor, Ann Taylor Loft, JCrew, Theory (Outlet). If you subscribe to the e-mail list of these places, you will find all of them have 40% off deals at some time so you can get a really great price.
      I had two suit jackets taken in on the sides and it cost $50 total, but that was in my small town – so I don’t know how prices translate in the city. If you are a petite, this may help: http://www.extrapetite.com/p/suiting-reviews-by-extra-petite.html

   6. I had a tailor make similar alterations on my “best” black interview suit. He basically had to remake the entire thing – sleeve length, jacket taken in, skirt waist taken in, hemmed, etc. He charged me $130.

      It was completely worth it, though. I’ve had a lot of people ask me whether the suit was custom made. When I wear it, it makes me feel like a million bucks, and I walk and talk with more confidence because of it.

7. So I went into Nordstrom today to stock up on a few business casual pieces before I start at my law firm in January. They didn’t have The Skirt in my size so I was talking to the sales associate about whether they could order it in my size. She was searching on the computer and asked what I do. I told her I was starting at a law firm in Boston and she turns to me and say, “Oh, well this skirt will not be appropriate. It is definitely too tight and not Brooks Brother-y enough.”

   I couldn’t believe it! I trust the Corporettes much more than her so I will be ordering it online now. It seems like everyone here has The Skirt, I don’t know what she was thinking.

   1. Wow – It’s only too tight if you’re wearing your clothes too small and you definitely shouldn’t trust a saleswoman who doesn’t know better than that! (as you’ve clearly already figured out)

      1. I recently went to Nordstrom in need of some new pencil skirts and thinking that I might as well get “the” skirt, especially since I generally agree/respect the taste of the Corporettes and thought it looked great on the website.

         I was SO disappointed in the material/quality of the skirt. I’m pretty petite but have some curves and could imagine that it would hug a little too much. Not to mention that the fabric was too shiny for my liking. (I’m a lawyer in a mid-size NY office).

         I ended up purchasing the J. Crew wool pencil skirts in a few colors. It’s more money but far better quality and the fit is awesome. Check it out!

   2. I think she’s right.

8. ok, ladies, need to vent – and possible get advice on a better way to approach/think about this.
   I work will all men in Big Finance. We sit in an open seating area – no cubicles or offices – and everyone who sits around me is a man, most of them middle-aged and married. My manager sits right next to me and lately, has been making more frequent comments that I feel are more suited for the locker room, not a professional setting.
   For example, recently we were discussing surgery. A colleague had stayed awake for a knee surgery and my manager shared with the group that the only surgery he stayed awake for was his vasectomy. The men found it interesting that he had gotten one and decided to continue on that topic – at which point, I decided to leave the trading floor for a walk.
   I just asked him about his wife, who had emergency surgery to clear her esophagus and he replied that she was much better, but had a migraine – and given that it was their anniversary, he added that he thought she was just getting out something.
   sigh.
   Is this just par for the course when working with me? Should I just roll with it? Ignore it?

   1. *Is this just par for the course when working with men? Should I just roll with it? Ignore it?

   2. i think it’s par for the course for sales & trading, which is of course dominated by men. (making assumptions based on your trading floor comment) … i personally don’t think it’s going to get you anywhere to make a stink and/or try and change the culture. (sorry, sisters, but it’s true). i’m also assuming you’re somewhat junior. if and when you make it closer to the top you may have more leeway to dictate the culture of your particular group but for now, i think it’s easier to go for walks.

      That assumes you aren’t being directly harassed or anything; the kind of talk you mention, while off-putting, seems harmless. Sure, you can wage a one-woman campaign to change it around – and if you do, best of luck! good for you! – or you can decide that this isn’t the mountain you want to die on and leave it be.

      If you ARE being harassed, that’s another story, and I would go to either HR or another colleague or your superior or whatever resources seem appropriate to you.

   3. I work on a trading floor and I’ve had similar experiences. Fortunately, the group I am in is great, but as you pointed out, open concept environment means that I still hear what others say. There have times where I too have gone for walks after I decided I really didn’t want to hear a conversation.
      My company actually made everyone take a sensitivity training course last year where we dealt with issues like this and how comments that could make people uncomfortable shouldn’t be made. I’m glad the company cares enough to take this step, but as you can probably guess, it hasn’t done anything.
      Sorry I don’t have any actual advice, but it’s good to see there are other people in Finance here amidst the lawyers :)

   4. Just reread your post… if you overhear someone else’s conversation, I’d go for a walk, but if someone is actually saying things to you that make you feel uncomfortable (i.e., your boss’ response to you asking about his wife), I’d just say something along the lines of “too much information” or “didn’t need to know that” so at least he might get the hint for the future.

   5. Is this just par for the course when working with men?
      Yes.

      Should I just roll with it?
      Yes, so long as they aren’t being sexist, racist, etc.

      Ignore it?
      If you feel uncomfortable , I’d suggest that you clear your throat loudly or make a jokey comment that also makes it evident that you’d like them to change the subject (e.g. “That’s so funny, because when I had MY vasectomy I told them to knock me out cold”).

   6. Roll with it, and NEVER share TMI about yourself.

      1. THIS! Let them have their gross little conversations, and don’t give them any material to work with.

   7. I’m not sure what it says about my usual working environments; but it seems par for the course to me. You want to play in a male dominated world you have to be tough enough to take some banter going on around you.

      For comparison, things that have been said to me at work in the last year or so:
      What bra size/clothing size are you?
      You’re really thin, are you anorexic? (I was pretty ill at the time)
      Feel free to flirt with the customer to get a sale, but try not to sleep with them
      And my all time favourite:
      To my boss “are you sleeping with her and if not can I?”

      I love my job but it’s constant change which means 6months of comments every time I hit a new project while I prove how fabulously capable I am.

      1. Thanks for all the comments – glad to hear that I am not overreacting!

         1. I would LOOOOOVE to be working in Big Finance BTW! Congrats!

9. I was planning to take tomorrow off completely (my first day with no work in a month) and just got an email making it clear that I will have to work tomorrow because some of the electronic stuff I need to finish my project will be unavailable tonight. I am so sad — I was so looking forward to that day off.

10. I just want to thank the Corporette who told me about Movado outlets. I had wrote asking about ESQ watches. I found an outlet an hour from me and I was able to get a $700 ESQ for $215!! It is much nicer than the one I originally posted and was going to spend about $350 on. It is my 30th bday present from my husband and I love it! Thanks again.

    1. No one should ever have to pay full price for a Movado/ESQ.
       Happy Birthday!

    2. You’re welcome! Aren’t some outlets just amazing? Enjoy!

11. Hi everyone, happy Sunday!

    Frequent reader, first-time poster. I am looking for some shoe advice. I’m trying to find some quality black ballet flats, but I am a size 10 with wide-ish feet and I find many brands rub across the widest part of the top of my foot and cause blisters. I have a fabulous pair of beige, faux croc print flats from nine west, but I got them years ago and haven’t found anything comparable since. I’m also not a fan of flats with the elastic around the heel. The stretchy back gives the appearance of comfort, but I find it rubs and causes blisters. Anyone have recommendations? I’m willing to spend up to $200.

    Thanks!

    1. No suggestions on brand but I suggest doing to zappos.com and searching via size and width (W) and price. You can then read the comments/reviews. What I love about Zappos is the free returns; so you can buy online and then return, no questions asked, if you don’t like the way they fit. 6pm.com is similar but I think you have to pay for shipping.

    2. While these are out of your price range, you could stalk sales or something. Amazing for wide feet, and no heel chewing. Life-changing shoes. Search “AGL” on the Nordstrom website (available elsewhere too). Will post links in follow up.

    3. Ann Taylor flats are very comfortable. I also found a pair of coach flats at DSW that are made of the softest leather I have ever owned. Fwiw, I also have slightly wide feet, and these have worked very well for me.

    4. Naturalizer makes shoes in wide widths. I just bought a pair of Naturalizer shoes at Macy’s that are surprising comfortable. It is possible I haven’t had issues with blisters because I put CVS brand heel liners on before I wore the shoes.

       http://www.naturalizer.com/en-US/Product/EC0227552-3008802/Naturalizer/Black+Leather/Minka.aspx

    5. Another size 10 here, similar fit issues. I like the Nurture brand. Dillards carries them. (I don’t know if they have a plain black right now.)

12. Ok – confession: I have *no* credit. I know the general steps I need to take (thank you Suze Orman and other finances for dummies people), but does anyone have a suggestion for a good credit card to start building with? Any specific tips?

    1. I’m ambivalent about all of my cards since the upheaval in credit/bank regulations in the past couple years. There are websites that help you search through cards for features you are interested. The main factors to consider are interest rate, annual fee, credit line limit and benefits. I don’t think you can find a card with an interest rate much below 10% now (my previous favorite card that was at 5% changed to 10% just because – I was pissed). I don’t like paying an annual fee but usually that only comes into play with certain benefits (e.g., airline miles). As for benefits, there’s all kinds. I like the cash back benefits — I prefer to pay down the balance on the card but often you can use the points towards gift cards for retailers. How you can pay yourself varies by card — some card companies make it a serious PITA (something else my old favorite card changed). My husband has a ton of airline miles but, as we never go anywhere :(, we’ve just been sitting on them (hopefully that will change). Lots of retailers have cards but I find the rates to be on the higher end. If you plan to pay down your balance each month in full, rates are less relevant but not something to discount (you never know what the future holds). Hope this helps! I’m interested to hear if anyone recommends a card I might find better than any of my own!

    2. I got a dept store credit card, bought something tiny each month and paid it off in full as soon as the bill came.
       After 3 months of that I got a (no fee) VISA card, made small regular purchases and paid those off ASAP. After 5 years of that I had GREAT credit and got a mortgage.

    3. Have you looked into a secured credit card? My basic understanding is that you get one through a bigger bank, putting a certain $ amount into an account in exchange for a credit card with that $ amount credit limit. You pay it off as normal, but the cash is there as back-up. After a while, it shows on your credit report as paid-on-time, and you can transition to a standard credit card.

13. Anyone have insights on the ways to divest one’s self of excess stuff? I see Amazon lets you sell used stuff and of course there is ebay. Does anyone have any experiences using these? Craigslist? And freecycle for stuff you’d rather donate? Have an upcoming move planned and do not want to drag all my many “treasures” to the new place …FWIW just recently got diagnosed with ADD and read that we ADDers would be best served by having fewer possessions to keep track of (or not, in my case) ;)

    1. I moved across the country nearly 2 years ago and got rid of an entire place of stuff and moved with just 5 boxes and 3 suitcases. Practically everything I owned went up on Craigslist. I found it was important to take pictures and put as much description as possible. For kitchen stuff especially, I had people come over to get 1 thing and wind up making me an offer for a ton of other stuff. Right before I moved, I took everything left that I didn’t want to Goodwill. Craigslist is easy because people will make you offers and the site doesn’t make any money off your listing. I also recommend making a separate email account for all your listings because you will likely get some junk mail in response as well.

       1. thanks!!! you are my hero and not just for your cool moniker ;)
          ebay and amazon seem like they’d be a 2nd job, CL FTW!!

14. What’s the best way to pack leather boots in a suitcase?

    I just bought my first pair of leather boots and am still learning how to care for them and make them last as long as possible. I want to be able to bring them on my weekly business trips, but don’t want to have to deal with taking them off/on to deal with TSA. Any thoughts (besides don’t bring them)?

    Thanks!

    1. Wear them. Remove them and send them through the machine first, before your bags. That way as the TSA witch/troll spends 10 minutes analyzing your suitcase over and over again on the screen you can be putting your boots back on while you’re waiting.

       1. ^^ This is good advice. However, this is what I do when I have packed boots: I usually put a plastic bag over the foot of each one and wrap the bag up around the shaft of the boot to protect the leather from random stuff that could scratch it. Then, depending on how things fit and what else is going in the suitcase, I put them either on the bottom or on top of everything else, with one foot/corner. You can put them in along one side so the shafts overlap or in opposite/diaganol corners, whatever fits best. I have actually packed two pairs of boots before (craziness, I know), and put one pair along each long side of the suitcase this way, with the feet in opposite corners and the shafts overlapping.

    2. If you don’t want to wear them, pack things inside them (like socks, rolled-up shirts, etc) so they will hold their shape and not get crushed. Cover them with something soft like a towel or sweater so they don’t get scratched.

    3. If you have enough space, you can get boot shapers to go in them so they don’t get crushed (or just stuff socks and such in them). I also put mine in either a boot bag or plastic bags. But I’m usually short on space, so I usually just wear mine.

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