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Weekend Open Thread

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Something on your mind? Chat about it here. The Outnet has a ton of jewel-toned garments on sale this weekend. I'm drooling over this Vanessa Bruno dress which, while it might work in an office would be lovely for evening outs as well. Love the pattern and asymmetric colla. It was $950, and is now marked to $285. Ikat-print silk-blend wrap dress (L-2)

Sales of note for 5/19/25:

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

368 Comments

  1. Anon for this. I don’t know if there is any really good way out for my present situation but I’d appreciate any thoughts the hive might have — I am so upset and am at a loss. Sorry for the ramble–it’s epic–but my brain is too fried to organize it better.

    DH and I have tried to sell our house twice in the last several years and managed to list it when things were worst with the market. Circumstances are such that we really need to sell in the next 6 mo so third time’s the charm. We spent a ton of time & energy to get the house in fantastic, pristine shape–even got it staged–and listed it again 2 mo ago. We are on our third real estate agent — we adored the first one but was she more of a buyers agent than a sellers agent, and the second one had a great sales record in our region but turned out to be flakey and was really disorganized and unresponsive (we were going to list with her again but the last ignored email was too much). To be clear — we had good relationships with these agents — the fit just wasn’t right. We went with our current agent because she and her team seemed to be the perfect mix of our two prior agents. She was super chatty and talked to us about prepping the house, visited & showed us other listings as examples, and recommended her very good friend as a stager. Everything was perfect, and then we listed.

    We had a disagreement over the house listing, and I was “too aggressive” with her (as DH put it). I admit — this was likely a situation that needed sugar and sweetness, and I ended up going hardnosed. I had a few questions that I wanted to speak with our agent about, and she wouldn’t call me even though my emails would end with “please call me”. Instead, I kept getting emails from her assistant). She did a couple things that concerned me — e.g., insisting on including that the house was professionally staged in the listing (taking up prime character real estate) without explaining why after I pointed it out several times, and stamping “motivated sellers” in bright red letters on the listing on her website. When I finally got into an email exchange with her directly, she just didn’t address any of my questions or concerns and basically told me (sweetly) that she’d been doing this for >>> years and was trained by random expert >>>. My restraint gave, and I wrote her an email again noting my concerns and expressing some displeasure (omg the listing was so terrible! it made me think used car lot). The email was likely too . . . aggressive. I wasn’t unreasonable but I was very direct and didn’t pull any punches on reiterating my concerns. DH says I went “all lawyer on her”. She’s a Southern woman in her 50s-60s who is all sweet on the surface but you can tell there’s some bite underneath. Well, it appears I poked the rattlesnake. DH and I feel like, because I pissed her off, we are the forgotten listing. After my email to her, we had a couple emails from her assistant to finalize the listing and sending us one market update and that’s it. Worse, though, we haven’t had a *single* showing. None of the realtors on her “team” have shown it, and she hasn’t had the agency’s other realtors see it either. After reviewing the statistics for our area, we think the house might be priced a bit high but not enough so that NO ONE would come see it. DH finally sent her an email asking about the situation (I wasn’t going to contact her since I am obviously a terrible b*tch, and he couldn’t get her on the phone anyway) and he got an email back from her assistant with very brief responses to his questions. The realtor is supposed to call him tomorrow. Suddenly the agency’s other realtors are also going to be coming to see the house next week — prompted undoubtably by our email.

    I feel just sick over the whole thing. DH and I have been killing ourselves to get the house ready & have done everything that was suggested to us. Work is crazy for both of us, and his mom has been really ill for the last several months as well — this is just one more terrible thing. Both of these factors likely contributed to my just not letting go and letting her do whatever she wanted with the listing. We did everything we could to make things go as best as they possibly could and it’s just all gone to hell. Sure, we’ll drop the price of the house (bye bye down payment for the next one) but, if our realtor hates us, what good is it going to do? If we terminate the contract, it won’t help because there’s a clause in it that any sale of the house within 6 mo of termination would fall under the contract so we’d never get another realtor to help us. Honestly, I doubt anyone can suggest anything that could make things better but I don’t really have any other people I can ask for help from. :(

    1. First, I will say, as you already have seem to have considered, it may be better to let the realtors–the experts in THEIR field–do their job. However, if you feel that they are not meeting their end of the contract, i.e., making their best efforts to sell your place, you could put them on notice that you consider their inaction to be a breach of hte contract and that you want to cancel. If things are as bad as you seem to think, it may be that they would be happy with that situation.

      Obviously, that is a last ditch stand. Remember, they do not get paid unless they sell the house, so it is really in their best interests to try. That may be why the other realtors are coming to see the house next week. I would wait and talk to them and try to mend things, as in, doing what they say and listening to their advice. Now is a BAD time to try to sell a house anywhere and what looks like a used car ad to you may be what is necessary to get anyone to look at your place.

      Good luck. I know how frustrating this situation is.

      2. I think the problem here is it doesn’t sound like she’s that much of an expert in the real estate field. Why in the world would anyone want to put in the ad that it was professionally staged? That seems tacky to me, and would detract from how nice the house looks.

    2. You’re not going to like this, but suck it up and apologize. Do it sincerely, explain all the stressors in your life, and reiterate your great respect for her.

      I know exactly how hard this is to do, because I have to do the same with my son’s pediatrician on Monday (gulp.)

    3. Any chance you would consider selling it yourself? We did that for our house in 2009 and broke even. I understand that you’re extremely busy with work, so this probably isn’t an option, but you have a good idea of how to appeal to buyers and how to look out for yourselves. It’s clear this realtor isn’t giving you her best efforts. Even if you have been a difficult client, it’s unprofessional of her to go passive-aggressive on you.

      If you decide to look into this option, I recommend http://fsbo.com/. We used their Flat Fee MLS feature, which is how the broker for our ultimate buyer found us.

    4. Does your real estate agent own the business or does she work for a firm/corporation? If she works for a brokerage, I would go up the chain and complain. Sure, maybe you’re demanding but you’re not a monster or the worst client ever. Ask around for recommendations at the same firm or drive around and look at agent’s names on “for sale” signs to see if there are other agents that might be suitable.

      If she runs her own agency (and thus complaining up the chain wouldn’t work) I would try (1) apologizing if you think that would work followed by (2) do as “a lawyer” says and put her on notice that her actions constitute a breach of contract. If necessary, contact a RE lawyer, preferably one who is “in” on the culture of your particular southern town.

      Good luck!

      1. I respectfully disagree with going over her head. Sales people, at least the ones who are really good at it, are generally ego-driven delicate flowers underneath all of their bluster. Having her boss tell her that you complained or threatening her with legal action – while these things might be satisfying to your own ego, they will not cause her to be more dedicated to selling your listing.

        I still say you should apologize for the tone in which you conveyed the message – but technically not the actual message. But don’t make it one of those unapologetic apologies my sister gives, which boil down to, “I’m sorry I yelled at you, but it was because you are so very very wrong, and now I will repeat all of my points for the umpteenth time.”

        1. I agree with Mama Bear – you recognize that you did not behave well, so do the mature thing and apologize. It may also have the effect of making the situation better, but it can’t make it worse.

          I read this post yesterday and then went on to finish my day but was still thinking about it last night – as I was reading I kept expecting to hear that this was the last straw with your husband and he was leaving; that you needed to sell to get money for a child’s stem cell transplant without which she would die – in other words, what was SO horrible that you would be this upset about it for SO long. I’m sure it’s frustrating to have been stuck in a house you’re trying to sell and to be contemplaing a financial loss, but even bankruptcy isn’t the end of the world. If you could take a wider view, maybe an apology would come easier. It also might prevent you from doing things in the future that actually harm your own interests, as this stress appears to have done.

        2. Mamabear, perhaps apologizing would work. But if the woman isn’t returning phone calls, I don’t think it would help. Ego-driven flower she may be but my experience is that good salespeople are tack-sharp and pragmatists. If apologizing doesn’t work, what is the OP going to do- wait a year until the contract doesn’t hold any sway? OP is being held hostage by an immature ego-driven agent. Sure, maybe OP shouldn’t have compained or made the agent mad, but the OP is the customer! So if an apology doesn’t work, going up the chain and asking to be transferred to another agent may be a good option. Or getting out of the contract altogether. No really good answer here.

    5. Thank you all for your input – I appreciate it. I didn’t go into the other stressors in my life that are culminating in this being a particularly stressful situation (this post was identifying enough) but, regardless, there are take home lessons for me. Also, I realized what I hadn’t made clear was that I felt like she was using our listing to promote her friend’s staging business, which I was not ok with (there was already a sign at the house for this). Anyway, DH/we will speak with her tomorrow and I’ll feel things out then. Maybe things aren’t as bad as they seem (Friday night’s are my low points) — I woke up this morning to a Facebook friend request from her. Of course, I’m sure she uses FB as a part of her business and it was likely her assistant that friended me — and the cynic in me thinks it’s possibly a way for her to get intel on us — but maybe it’s a positive sign. Though, it’s also awkward as I generally don’t friend people I’m not close to. Maybe I’ll friend her and then lock down what she can see. Sigh. Anyway, thank you all again.

  2. Hey ladies,
    Recently a link was posted for the “C by Bloomingdales Cashmere One-Button Blazer.” I *love* the idea of this but don’t have $200 (and don’t need it to be cashmere, obviously). I’ve tried searching around for alternatives but I’m not doing so well. Can anyone help out in the realm of sweater blazers? Thanks!!

    2. A lot of the better ones I have seen are much more expensive than $200. I have found, though, that Zara has one that comes in hunter green and black, and Nordstrom also has a few on its site (and the Rack site). Try searching for knit blazers instead of sweater blazers.

    5. Thank you all for your suggestions! I will def. check out Zara, Nordstrom, and Pendleton.. and thanks for the “knit blazer” suggestion… I always thought “sweater blazer” sounded too awkward to be right ;-).

    6. Halogen has one that’s going to The Rack now, so you may be able to get a really good deal on it. Olivia Moon has a ponte knit blazer for $88 (382175) that’s super comfy and has a nice structure; I just got it last weekend in camel and I really love it.

      1. Maggie-Thank you for this tip! For the Halogen blazer, is that something that will show up in Rack Online or will I have to visit a B&M Rack?

        1. I think I saw it online but in limited sizes. Their availability changes almost daily, though, so if they don’t have it in your size then keep checking. They might still have a few colors on the regular Nordie’s website on sale.

          1. Alright, will do. As a testament to the 6.5 years I’ve been in grad school, I had no idea that Nordstrom Rack online existed. Thanks for your help :)

  3. Will first apologize for this rather wordy post.

    My thank you:
    I’m mostly a lurker but have commented maybe once or twice a year in the past (started reading when I started law school in 2008). Love reading the weekend open threads – I feel like it’s given me such a wealth of knowledge. My girlfriends are always amazed at the variety of lady/career/life topics I can give them “advice” or resources about (taken generously from these threads). So thank you to all you wonderful ladies for that. =)

    My situation:
    I just graduated from a tier 1 top 5 law school and am working as a “post-graduate fellow” at a state AG’s office (lucky to have a fellowship stipend “generously” provided by my law school so they may report to US World and News that I am “employed”) . The fellowship is for 6 months (ending mid-March) and I have the opportunity to do both litigation and transactional work in my Bureau.

    My question (for those more seasoned attys):
    What can I do to make myself a stronger job candidate? My eventual goal is to go in-house (want family/kids/care about lifestyle) and I have heard that it is easier to go in-house with a background in litigation. That being said – I will take ANY law job that’ll take me in 6 months. I’m not one of those women (not that there’s anything wrong with them) who is defined by her career or what she does. I have always seen law as long-term but transitional/a means for me. So, I honestly have very little preference for what my practice area is (this has been an obstacle in applying to jobs/trying to convince people why they should hire me) but I am absolutely willing to give any job my 110%. I am interested in non-profit/arts/institutional clients but will do any work I am assigned. I don’t have a particularly strong interest in govt/public interest and do have a fair deal of school loans – so a biglaw/firm job would be more practical.

    So, given my current opportunity to request/experience both litigation and transactional work – I’d love to hear suggestions for how I can make the most of this 6 month experience.

    Thanks (again) in advance for your/any help!

    1. I have no idea how to position oneself in the market these days, especially for a new law grad. The only thing I would point out is that it is absolutely not my experience that one has an easier time going in-house from a litigation background. I am a litigator, as were most of my friends at my old firm. They struggled much more that our corporate peers trying to find in-house positions. My friends and coworkers who focused on transactional work were able to leave BigLaw sooner and had a variety of options in terms of the type of companies they could service.

      If in-house is your goal, I would do some research on the backgrounds of lawyers at the types of companies you might want to work for. Start looking at job postings for such companies now, even if that is a long term goal. I would not be surprised if a transactional background is more sought after.

      1. Strongly agreed re: going in-house. My experience is that large corporations tend to outsource their litigation (with the exception of certain companies that by their nature have a lot of litigation work, like insurance companies), and that transactional skills are in greater demand.

        With regard to figuring out your career path, well…I’m unsurprised that that not caring about your practice area has been an obstacle to getting hired for you. As someone who interviews people, I would not be particularly interested in a candidate who came into my office and didn’t care what field of law she ended up in. Even though you say that you’d give 110% to any job, to an interviewer, that makes you look unfocused and disinterested, which aren’t good qualities for an attorney. In this economy, my (biglaw) firm now tends toward hiring to fill departmental needs, even at the entry level.

        Why did you go to law school in the first place? I went to a similar school (maybe even the same one, as mine did the same thing with regard to post-grad stipends), and it takes a lot of effort to get to, and then to get through, a top-five school. Obviously something motivated you to do it – I’d encourage you to think about that and try to tap into some vein of interest, or focus, or *something* that will allow you to avoid giving interviewers the impression that you’ll just be marking time.

        1. This.

          I would not hire someone who gave the impression s/he was only going to be around for a few years. It takes a few years for an associate to be any good at what they do and to be any use to me. I can’t really tell you how to market yourself when you seem like you don’t care that much about your job long term and when there are tons of candidates who do care about establishing a career with a firm that hires them. Tough love, but you need to make some tough decisions. Either you need to adjust your attitude, adjust your expectations, or adjust your job focus. Or lie about any/all of these. I wouldn’t recommend lying b/c the legal world is much smaller than you realize when you’re new to it.

        2. I could not agree more. I interview a lot of candidates, and someone who does not express passion and interest is not going to cut it.

          1. Sorry – I should clarify. It’s not that I don’t care so much as I haven’t found any practice areas to be more interesting/engaging than any other. Coming from a position where all legal work is equally interesting to me, I’m curious whether transactional or litigation skills would be more beneficial for my career.

            (And thanks to those who have replied!)

      2. There are definitely more in-house opportunities on the transactional side than litigation. Check out ACC job postings and that will give you a sense. Hot in-house areas are contracts/transactional, employment law, IP.

      1. I know that some of my friends at my top law school are interviewing directly in-house rather than going back to their 2L summers. Specifically, I know that HP is looking for some incoming attorneys, and I also know of a first year associate who left his firm to work at Google.

        1. Oh I see that HP is mentioned in the article! Sorry for the repeat news about that.

  4. Threadjack: Does anyone know of / have any opinions of a firm called Kleinbard Bell & Brecker in Phila? Thanks.

    2. I’d be interested in either – though if you’re in DE, it’s likely we’ve either met already or have friends in common. Or both. :)

      (BTW, I’m a semi-regular poster here, but I’m staying anonymous because I don’t want to associate my location with my regular handle).

      1. I would definitely be interested in a Philly meet up! I did lol at the poster above- I have family in DE and worked in Wilmington this summer, and I agree, the likelihood that you two already know each other is highly probable!

  6. Anyone been in this boat? In the past year I’ve cycled through multiple job prospects in my company where I was a very strong candidate and had the backing of key people – phrases like “shoe-in” and “perfect fit” were tossed around – but ultimately all fell apart/went to other people.

    I’m kind of one of those force of nature types in an office. I love to work, have big ideas , am known for getting things done other people can’t get done and am good at playing the system. Bosses like that I deliver results and can be trusted – but I can be pretty persistent and hard-charging in the process. That said, I’m told I’m also generally well-liked by my peers.

    But now I’m hearing rumblings that I may not have gotten those jobs in-part because of this – concern from the person doing the hiring that I’d try to end run around them, do too much, or step on their turf. Most of the potential bosses were men. One was a woman my age, but one step up in level.

    I’m up for another job there now where I’m starting to sense the same issue with the person doing the hiring this time. I’m well-liked by people at the top and they are pushing for me, but potential boss isn’t sold. I’m starting to worry that even if I get it, I’m headed for an unhealthy boss/employee situation. The catch – my current contact is up and the alternative is leaving my company, which is the best in my industry.

    Would you take it anyway if offered? Or walk away to pursue a spot at a less prestigious company where you have more latitude? Any lessons I should take from this/adjustments I should make – or is this just the cost of being a strong woman in the workplace?

    Hit me with your best advice and constructive criticism! I’m ready for it.

    1. Hm. If top-level management likes you, and your peers like you, but your direct superiors don’t, I’d take the job (if it’s offered) and then spend some time actively trying to cultivate relationships with folks at that level. It may be that this is a gender issue; it may also be that you come off as disrespectful of their authority, as overestimating your own competence, or as not being a team player. It’s worth an investment of time to figure that out, because if the problem is mostly (or even partly) you, that’s a valuable thing to learn and it’s something you can fix.

    2. Take a look at the book “What Got You Here Won’t Get You There” by Marshall Goldsmith and see if it applies to you.

  8. I am looking for a perfect hot pink cardigan. It seems I have checked everywhere to no avail, so I figured I’d tap into everybody’s searching/shopping skills here and see what others could come up with.

    Ideally, the cardigan would be 3/4 length sleeves (but long would be fine), good quality fabric (so, merino, silk blend, cashmere, etc.), possibly with some sort of detail (like ruffle trim, jeweled buttons, a bow, etc.). I have some dresses and shells begging me for one of these, and I’m at my wit’s end that I can’t find one.

    1. Lands End has several cardigan styles that come in about 20 colors, including several shades of pink. J. Crew might too. I saw one on Lands End Canvas called the Heritage cardigan that might be what you’re looking for. I also try Google shopping and Shopstyle searches when I’m looking for something specific.

    2. is Lilly too bright? Even the cotton cardigans have held up well for me with laundry TLC (machine wash cold/gentle, lay flat to dry).

      1. I’d second the Lilly Pulitzer suggestion. I have Lilly cardigans in both cotton and cashmere. They put new stock online every month or so, so you can probably find something you like sooner rather than later. And they usually always have a shade of pink.

      2. I’ve not tried that site yet, but it’s one to look at in the future, especially if they stock often. I might just have to keep stalking, as ShopStyle and all my searching are pulling up nothing right now.

        1. Lilly Lilly Lilly!! I have four different color pink cardigans from there…. I’m a Lilly girl through and through though I no longer work for them :(

          Go for either the classic Paley or one of their seasonal choices. You can usually get an embellished Paley too! There is nothing there with the embellishments you want right now but the Resort line usually goes up in late October and its their best (although most expensive) of the year

  9. Has anyone experienced a change in hair-texture related to perimenopause or menopause? I’m 42 and all kinds of interesting things seem to be happening to my body, including that my hair keeps getting curlier. Although unevenly so, with chunks of it remaining straight, just to mess with me…

    1. Curlier with each baby for me – I’ve had three – and I’m 46. I would call myself a wavy girl now (if not quite a curly girl) and I had straight-as-straw hair as an adolescent and young woman. Much to my dismay, I might add, when I was trying to look like Farrah Fawcett in high school.

      And, yes, I have that one frustrating section that is still straight as straw.

  10. Advice, please: suit or business casual? Don’t want to get this wrong…

    Event: on-campus open house for prospective grad students in healthcare administration. 4 hours on a Friday afternoon in early October. “Top 5” program located in central Virginia. Note that this is not a formal interview, just an info session for applicants.

    Me: early 30s, currently working in an entry-level healthcare administration job. First “career” was in higher ed, so my wardrobe is more academic frump than hospital CEO (and my clothing budget is minimal).

    TIA. Can’t tell you how badly I need Corporette in my life.

    1. What about dress slacks, a nice sweater, a blouse, and some classic jewelry? I think of an outfit like that as business “semi-formal” and I think it would be perfect for an event like this. Not too stuffy, but still nice, and not too casual either.

    2. Based on your description, definitely not a suit. I think Frump’s suggestion would work nicely. Or if you prefer dresses, maybe a nice sheath with a cardigan or non-matching blazer. Overall, think classic, clean lines, solid colors or very subtle prints — not saying stifle your personality, but I think professional, understated, and easy (i.e., not looking like you’re trying too hard) is probably the right tone to aim for for this event. And if “central Virginia” is Charlottesville, have fun! The weather should be gorgeous this time of year, and I love love love that town. So many fun things to do, so many great restaurants, and for a grad student there’s a wonderful quality of life.

    3. Not in VA, but my go-to for any on campus recruiting has always been dressy bizc as, and Frump’s suggestion sounds perfect!

  11. I don’t know how many Corporettes there are in southern VA, but I just wanted to let y’all know that there’s a JCrew warehouse sale in Lynchburg this weekend. I cleaned up, it was amazing (two new jackets, 4 wool work dresses, and some other items all for under $200 all together). It was a bit of a madhouse and I had to hunt to find the good work clothes, but it was totally worth it and kinda fun! It’s going on all weekend!

    1. Oh! Sad that I missed this. My sister in law lives in Lynchburg, but I guess it’s too late to pass this on to her now! Glad you got some good stuff!

  12. Random question- what do people think about a lush faux fur jacket? Found one I love in chocolate brown, just below the hip. I was thinking it would e fun for going out and other non-business situations. Or it it too much?

  13. I’m a first year associate at a law firm, and it’s that time for year end self-evaluations. I have to say I feel somewhat clueless about this. What makes a good self-review? Does anyone have advice about how to approach the process? I am not the type of person to toot my own horn, but I also don’t want to underestimate my abilities either. I would really appreciate hearing your insights!

    1. Big firm? Then bragging is in order. You are likely being reviewed by a committee of partners from all different practice areas – with little or no knowledge of what you/your practice area/skillset is like. Refreshing honesty is not going to win you any attention or space in their memory. At the 1st year level they probably aren’t looking for a lot of client-generating activity. But generally, I’d name drop a bigger client and talk about how you hit it out of the park for the client (it = brief, hearing, deal, closing, whatever you do) and then talk up your civic/legal/other involvement (young lawyers association, political grp fundraising positions, alumni club, charity volunteer, team in training, whatever).

    2. At my firm, we do NOT have self evalueations.

      That is b/c the manageing partner WANTS to give all evaluations, even for asociates that do not even work for him.

      I know that If I were to give me a self-evalueation, I would give me an A or a A+, b/c I work very hard and I have my own CLIENT base.

      After 3 years, I do ALL of my own EBT’s and depositions, and the manageing partner KNOWS that.

      So when it is BONUS time, I expect to get a real BONUS. Or it is FOOEY on the manageing partner.

  14. Hi, has anyone gone off the pill after years of being on if? If so, what was your experience? Related, have you tried the IUD or anything else you like instead?

    1. I know this is a late response, but if you haven’t had a pregnancy, you might want to avoid the IUD. It was my experience (though others have not had problems) that my body basically rejected the IUD. It was painful and uncomfortable for over two months and I had to have it removed. I liked the NuvaRing and I like the DepoProvera shot. Both have worked well for me, though I long for a day when I can stop being on hormonal birth control altogether.

    2. I have had both the copper IUD (paraguard) and the Mirena IUD. The copper one made my periods much heavier and the Mirena has pretty much stopped my period. I do feel like I am having a harder time losing weight with the Mirena, but that may not entirely be due to the IUD. Either way, they were both completely worth it to me since I am no good at remembering to take the pill and wanted birth control that I could just forget about.

    3. I was on various, hormonal forms of birth control for about 15 years. When I finally came off the pill (after deciding to get pregnant), it was like a fog had lifted – I suddenly felt smarter, found it easier to focus, and could go the extra mile, analytically. So that was good.
      Now, post-baby, I have a copper IUD. I still feel clear-headed (sleep deprivation aside) and remarkably un-hormonised (not a word, I know), but my periods are very heavy (as in, fill a Diva cup 4-5x/day for the first 1-2 days). My daughter is 15 months old, so I think this is an IUD thing, rather than a just-had-a-baby thing.

      1. I just wanted to chime in and say I felt exactly that way after going off the Pill, and I was so surprised! That is exactly why, after I was sure I didn’t want any more babies, I had a tubal ligation. Which I highly recommend, but obviously for when you’re sure you’re done!

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