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Sarah J.
FWIW, Talbots is having a 25% extra off all items already on sale (“for a limited time”– who knows what that means). They have some beautiful bags and scarves that seem to be particularly deeply discounted.
anon
One of the partners I work with has made a number of mean-spirited comments about other the way other women in our office are dressed. She keeps asking me things like, “well, you would never wear something like THAT to the office, right?” I feel like she wants a co-conspirator and do not want to offend her or become the target of these comments myself, but I also don’t want to participate in bashing other women’s style choices. I also don’t want to confront her about this because she is very senior. Any advice?
Anonymous
just smile and laugh a little, but dont go “on the record” with any comments. I have learned (the very hard way) to be very, very wary of “very senior” people that talk about other associates or partners to me. In my experience, they should not be trusted and will throw anyone under the bus. It is very unprofessional to make such comments, particularly to someone significantly more junior. my advice is– dont get sucked in! but, also, whatever you do, do NOT call her out on it. just be non-commital and cheerful.
Anonymous
I think a shoulder shrug, accompanied by a “To each his own!” and a quick-but-not-too-obvious change of subject (along the lines of “By the way, your shoes are great!”) will work well in this situation.
Kathryn
Good idea! She’s probably got low self-esteem — that’s why she’s knocking the others, so if you compliment her….
urbangirl
How about something like “I think she looks great– it’s a little fashion forward for me!” or “She has such a fun sense of style– I’m not that brave!” instead of directly answering the question. I think it’s worse in the long run to join in the bashing people for their fashion choices than to risk irritating the partner by not wholeheartedly agreeing with her. How petty of her.
KJ
I agree that joining in on the bashing is bad, but I’d also be cautious of expressing an opinion – however faintly. Don’t want to give this woman any ammo. She sounds like someone I can easily imagine repeating anything you might say with an arched eyebrow, implying that YOU are the mean girl – as in “What did you think of Susan’s pink, plaid, tights the other day? Mary told me she thought they were very brave”.
I might say something that acknowledges the daily challenge, such as “I worry every every day about getting it right” (since in her co-conspiritorial air is a hint of a compliment). It says nothing about the other woman and might vaguely intimate that you are sympathetic to the general problem of getting it right (“so don’t look to me to offer criticism”) withou actually saying anything she could object to. If it were true (and I could stomach it), I might add “I don’t know how you do it every day.”
But this is what I would say given five minutes to think about it. I’d probably just stammer out something bad and feel foolish.
Too bad we can’t just help each other.
Anonymous
Completely agree that it is a lot easier with 5 minutes to think about it. A partner’s assistant once commented to me that said partner was in a bad mood and “really needed to get laid.” Pretty sure I just stared at her blankly for about 10 seconds before asking her if she knew where I could find more binder clips (I did not actually need binder clips). Probably could have thought of a better (yet non opinion expressing) response with a bit more time, but sometimes, looking like a deer in the headlights is honestly better than saying anything at all in response.
OP
I was the original poster – thanks for all the thoughtful responses! I really like the idea of saying something like “I worry every day about getting it right” because there is absolutely NO way I can think of for that to come back to bite me, and it avoids making the partner feel like I disapprove of her comment.
Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler
I received my Levi’s 512’s, 580’s, and 590’s and did a product review. Just click my name.
Kathryn
Lane Bryant Right Fit Blue, Talls, size 1. If you are basically an 18, you will most likely love these. Try them on. The only jeans I have ever liked. I have to wear a heel. I am 5″10″
Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler
I looked at LB, but the Levi’s were $35 compared to $60.
Kathryn
But if you wear them out….also, I get coupons all the time. You should be able to get them for $40 without trying too hard–and they have a 35″ inseam! Yay!
Ellie
I posted in the main comments thread, but I caught up with “The Good Wife” on itunes this week. Not only did I really like the show and Juliana Marguiles, but I was loving her suits. Of course, I would kill for her body, but any thoughts on the fashion shown in the show? (Like I thought it was weird that the young female assistant DA was wearing a red suit. But, maybe that is just because our DAs dont wear many suits. lol).
Mel
I think JM generally has some great suits. I didn’t care that much for the navy one in the most recent episode, but have liked the rest. I’m from FL and have seen young ASAs and PDs wearing colored suits/jackets, so the red didn’t seem to be that unusual to me.
K
I love this show and always notice their fashion as well. One thing I notice in particular is what Kalinda (the other younger female at Juliana’s character’s firm) wears. She always seems dressed inappropriately such as showing too much cleavage or wearing a too short skirt. She always always seems to wear belts and boots, which can be ok, but just something about the wear she wears them seems inappropriate. I agree with you though that Juliana’s character always dresses fabulously!
Mel
I’ve been thinking the same thing, but since I have no idea what Kalinda’s job title is, I don’t know what’s appropriate for her.
anon
If I’ve been understanding the show right, I think she’s an in-house private investigator, so I can’t blame her for dressing less professionally. It is actually probably even a professional asset for her to be a bit more dressed down when she’s doing field work.
s
YES YES YES!!! I think Corporette should bring back the 360 review just to comment on Juliana Margulies on this show! (Now, if only I could figure out how to get my hair to look like hers everyday . . .)
lala
I racked up substantial credit card debt (nothing too “appear on intervention” or “declare bankruptcy crazy, but it’s still taking me awhile to pay it off as a new associate.) I have to take chunks out of my paycheck to throw towards the debt right when I receive them. The problem (both then and now) is that “lawyering” kind of pisses me off–I’m arguing minutia and everything I do is conflict laced and really detail orientated. I have a bizarre “I need a treat” mentality after the end of hard or irritating days (frequent). BUT I really realize that all of these “treats” are slowing down my debt payback and kind of forcing me to be inthe job longer. vicious freaking circle! Having nothing to wear to said lawyering position would make it infinitely more irritating though. Conundrum.
eplawyer
Come up with free ways to reward yourself. go to the library and get that book you always wanted to read. then after a hard day, reward yourself with a chapter or two. No checking the blackbery, no phone calls, just you and the book.
Also, make a list of things you will do when the debt is paid off. If you want to take a trip, surf the net and look for places you want to go. Research those places, what you want to do there. Plan an itinerary. Figure out airlines. What you will wear, what you will eat. Then when the debt is paid off — go on the trip. Enjoy. Working towards a positive goal makes it easier to deal with the now, rather than feeling you can’t have any fun because you are paying off your debt.
KLo
Great advice, eplawyer!
MamaJD
Eplawyer, I love the advice to plan an itinerary for a reward trip. I think I’ll have to do that myself. Good luck, lala! I know the feeling…
Kathryn
Hot baths don’t cost much, and can help you unwind. I used to take a nice walk at lunch time, weather permitting. Helped ease the tension.
Can you start scoping out another law job that would still help you pay back your debts, but suit your personality better? A lot of lawyering in’t conflict-based at all. I did municipal bonds–which are detail-oriented, but very seldom conflict-based. A lot of domestic practice isn’t super detail-oriented, but will be conflict-based. Just look around some….it will give you some perspective….
Erin
You don’t say what kind of treats you mean. But maybe you can replace them with things you can do at home – a bottle of wine costs less than a single martini at a bar, for instance, you could keep a pint of frozen yogurt in the fridge instead of picking up cupcakes, get takcout instead of going to a sit-down restaurant, get Netflix instead of going to a movie, etc. Also, you might try going to the gym right after a frustrating day at work. After you’ve let off some steam you might not want a treat so badly anymore.
chickinthestix
Lala, I’ve been there. It gets better! And, please add a steam at the gym after work to your list of alternatives (for the days when your brain is leaking out your ears by the end and you can’t face a workout or a class).
Anonymous
Earlier in the week, I fell in a parking lot. I was wearing my best, most-expensive, tailor-made suit and it ripped below the knee which I skinned. I was thinking I’d have this suit for 10+ years and only had it 2.5. Not my best day. Does anyone have an idea if a tailor can do anything for me other than commiserate? I thought it was worth trying to do something because the worst that happens is I throw it out. So sad.
Bonviva
Depending on the fabric, a reweaver may be able to help you. Google “reweave” and your city, or ask a saleswoman at the nicest shop in town for the name of a reweaver. Sometimes they can work miracles.
Jane
It might also be possible to have a tailor add some trim or something to the hem, so it covers the ripped part but still looks like it belongs.
Kathryn
Ask the tailor who made it?
Dani
I don’t have any advice, but I can commiserate as I just fell in the street in front of the courthouse two weeks ago skinning my knee. Luckily my suit did not get torn. Good luck with the repair search!
Ashley
I gained about 10 lbs after I quit smoking – Yes, I do know it’s worth it – but many of my pants became too short because they are now much tighter in my hips and thighs. I took each too-tight pant to the tailor and she was able to turn them into capri’s or skirts (some suits, some not). They all look fantastic.
adri
i got my lsat score today! 164!!
millelilly
Congratulations!
Dani
Congratulations!! That is fantastic.
EM
Has anyone worn this brand? A’Nue Ligne: http://www.anueligne.com/product_info.php?cPath=1&products_id=37
I really like these, they seem perfect to wear under my suit jackets, and of course they come in every color! But how could tactel and lycra cost $90?? Has anyone seen these types of shirts in either a material that wasn’t born in a test tube or at least much cheaper? I’ll pay for good material, but not tactel.
Kathryn
Target often has nice rayon/modal blend tees this time of year that I snap up in several colors. Haven’t seen them yet, but keep your eye out. Talbot’s sometimes has silk ones. August Silk….
Mel
I bought 2 modal/cotton-blend short-sleeve turtleneck tees at Target last week. I’ve bought similar tees from Target before and they look great under suits and are surprisingly durable for the price. The cashier at my store said they were extremely popular, so I’m not sure how long they’ll be around.
anon
I am so all over the Target tees. $6 a pop when they’re on sale, they last forever, they wash nicely, they come in a million different colors that change every season, and come in a variety of sleeve lengths and necklines. What’s not to love!
Kathryn
and the modal ones hold their color especially well.
KK
Hi-
I’m competing for a spot on the hill this summer, as an intern. This past week I was talking to someone about techniques to get the internship. The woman suggested that I go and drop off my application in person. I was wondering does anyone have any advice on this issue. The internship would be with a conservative sixty something woman, in the house of representatives.
And if I go drop it off in person, what do you suggest I wear?
Thanks!
EM
Wear a suit.
Kathryn
and stockings, with conservative closed-toe shoes. Pearls would be a plus. Walmart’s George pearls are good quality for fakes. A controlled hair-style and a touch of make-up–not too much, but maybe a neutral lipstick or not-too shiny gloss.
Lady-like without being girly. Tailored. Conservative.
KK
Do you think I should go in person?
Or do you think that it is best to send the application in, and cross my fingers?
anon
When I got my internship on the Hill, I went in person to drop off my resume. I only left my resume with my own congressional representative though, so that made the office more likely to choose me over someone who didn’t have a vested interest in their office, EVEN THOUGH I was/am not a member of their party. I don’t know how cool other offices are about party affiliation though.
Erin
DC policy wonk here. I wouldn’t go drop it off in person unless the woman who suggested you do this has direct experience with this particular Congresswoman and knows her office would look favorably upon that. The exception might be if you genuinely live/study/work close to the Hill and it would simply be easier to drop it off than mail it. But generally, you’d gain nothing by doing so because, as others have pointed out, you’d just be handing it to an intern/assistant, not anyone with hiring authority, and it could get lost. If you do drop it off, dress conservatively. Hill staffers wear suits every day when Congress is in session. I’d wear at least tailored slacks with a sweater set if you don’t have a suit.
Speaking as someone who has hiring authority at my job, the number one most important thing I look at is the cover letter. It’s basically a mini writing sample. Keep it concise, formal, gramatically correct and punctuated properly. And it goes without saying that your resume should be spell-checked and emphasize your best selling points.
Good luck!
AIMS
I would vote for dropping it off in person, but only if you can come up with a logical reason for doing it (e.g., “Hi, I was just doing X here, and thought I would drop this off in person. If you require any other info please dont hesitate to call!”)
I did this once, and was offered the job (but I had a good reason for the in-person delivery — I was interning at the court already, just for another judge).
I think it generally cant hurt to put a nice face forward with a faceless piece of paper!
anon
I dropped mine off in person and got the job because the Staff Assistant liked me and recommended that the Leg Director give me the position. I think the extra effort to take it in is totally worth it. If the person accepting it doesn’t seem too interested, then you could mail it in as well.
EM
If the woman with the techniques is a career counsellor and thinks you should walk into a congressperson’s office off the street, then no. If this person is a past recipient of the internship, has a relationship with the person doing the hiring or can claim some point of common ground (sorority sisters, eg) AND who is willing to phone ahead with some introductions, then yes.
mkm
I agree wholeheartedly with EM. I have held two jobs on the Hill – one of which began as an internship – and “no drop-bys” is the widely-accepted MO down there (and is usually specified in the internship ad). When you walk into an office, you’re handing your application materials not to the person with hiring authority, but to the Staff Assistant (or an unpaid intern). You not only gain nothing by having handed it to this person, but you then get to pray that he/she didn’t lose it or toss it while opening constituent mail or answering the phone. If “no drop-bys” was specified in an ad somewhere, this is a great way to get disqualified.
All that said — good luck!!
Joi
Hi Ladies,
I would love your professional input on a situation. I am not an attorney, but a grad student looking to transition into a non-academic position after school. I got a call from a recruiter a week ago, but missed the call. I called back the next day and left a message, but haven’t heard anything in 9 days (including the weekend). Should I just let it lie? Would there be an appropriate time frame to call back? Thanks for your help!!
KJ
Call the recruiter back ASAP (and maybe apologize for having dropped the ball on follow-up). In the future, you should call back ASAP after the intital call and every day thereafter until you get to talk to them (or it gets ridiculous – like 6 calls from you with no attempt from them to recontact you). For a situation like this, the onus is on you and perseverence is always the key!
AH
When I’m following up about a job, I generally call ASAP when I hear from somebody and leave a message and then every day thereafter. BUT, I might not leave only leave a new message every other day if I don’t get them. After a week (or maybe two) I would probably cut back the messages to once a week. I think you can then continue that into infinity; after a couple of weeks, if they aren’t returning your call to at least tell you “no”, they are the ones being rude so you can keep calling forever if you like…
I think you could probably start doing that all now – even though it’s been nine days – if they haven’t contacted you, the ball’s in your court.
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