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Stuck at the office over the weekend? Got something on your mind? Discuss it here. Pictured: Butterfly Tea Cup and Saucer, $215 at Vivre.
Jess
I hope you wise Corporette readers can offer some advice. One of the assistants who sits near my office (but is not my assistant) has a body odor problem that becomes more severe in the summer. A few of the other assistants have broached the subject with her in a very delicate way and she mentioned that she doesn’t wear deodorant because she believes it causes breast cancer. I don’t feel it is my place to say anything because I am not her manager nor her friend, but it is beginning to become intolerable. Have any of you run across this issue? How do you delicately tell someone that they need to freshen up?
m
There are plenty of deodorants that don’t have cancer-causing ingredients. There are natural and herbal kinds that smell nice. I use the crystal kind. It works great and does not contain aluminum. As to how you could bring this up… I really have no idea, but I thought of something funny. Tom’s Deodorant website http://www.tomsofmaine.com/products/deodorant.aspx has a link at the top where you can sign up for their email newsletter. Sign up your co-worker, maybe?
socal
I agree with m – there are tons of options out there that don’t have aluminum or other scary ingredients, and IMO they’ve gotten better in the past few years. Whole foods and similar markets have a pretty wide selection of products that’ll keep offensive smells away without the potential carcinogens.
The other issue is how to politely bring it up to her, but if she’s told them why she doesn’t wear deodorant, clearly someone’s already asked her, right? Seems like the most challenging obstacle has already been overcome.
City Girl
As someone who has a history of benign breast tumors (had 3 removed in recent years) and has been told by conventional medical professionals to stay away from the traditional white aluminium deodorant stick (on the just in case theory), I can assure this person that there are plenty of deodorant options – the more natural ones can be hit or miss depending on one’s body chemistry, but there is invariably one that works. I personally like the Clarins ones – less natural than, say, Tom’s of Maine, but does the job well etc. Clarins has several other options. Then there’s also Weleda that makes a very good one.
Whoever already spoke to her may benefit from this info – and frankly, whoever supervises should pull rank on her a bit, without being intimidating, but make the point it’s an issue for the rest of the office and here are some options that she may prefer.
Faith
Well we all like it when people agree with us right? Maybe you could chat her up one day and say “I heard through the grape vine you believe deodorant can cause cancer? Me too! That’s why I always use Tom’s of Maine. I thought I was the only one. What’s your favorite?” And if she says I don’t use any then say “Oh I tried, x, but it didn’t really work so well. Actually I just did a buy one get one free of Tom’s and have an extra at home. I’ll bring it in. Tell me if you like it” Even if you don’t actually believe any of that it could work and make you seem more friendly than insulting.
Funny side note – my middle school got bags w/ free samples of teen spirit deodorant and a letter about personal hygeine. I was out sick that day so I got it the next day. But, some kid decided to play a joke on me and say I was the only one that got it and it was because the teacher had gotten complaints I was smelly. I was so upset and went crying to a friend who was like “that jerk, everyone got them yesterday. You just weren’t here.”
Jay
I think you should bring it up to your office manager. It is that person’s responsibility to address it with the assistant. Arm him/her with the names of some of these non-aluminum deoderants, and the manager should go from there. I am really sorry you’re dealing with this!
millelilly
I agree with Jay. The office manager should approach your co-worker with the problem. Sometimes a written company policy will help, like no offensive odors– no body odors, no heavy perfume, etc.
If it is really bad, she must know about it and just not care. It could also be that she actually does wear deoderant and is embarassed that she can’t find one that works for her. She may need a prescription deoderant. I dated a guy once who had body odor that would stick to me for days, even after showering. I had to break that off because I couldn’t deal with it anymore.
Sarah
I agree with Jay. Because you sit near her, you saying something will make it a personalities issue as she will take it personally and it will just snowball from there. It really is the supervisor’s responsibility to keep the office running smoothly and that includes a stink-free environment.
C
There are a ton of great ideas in this thread — I love agreeing with her, or randomly signing her up for the Tom’s of Maine newsletter. Other thoughts: it may not just be a lack of deodorant, but a lack of drycleaning business clothes? Furthermore… this problem actually happened at a publication where I used to work. One editor didn’t believe in deodorant; another editor moved into her space (“cubicle” wouldn’t be accurate but, well, it kind of is) and the managing ed had to talk with editor 1 about it because editor 2 couldn’t take it. Can you imagine?
Amazingly, if you start typing “how to tell a coworker they smell bad” into Google, it suggests that very answer a few words in, and the following pages come up:
http://www.ehow.com/how_2082097_coworker-that-they-smell-bad.html
http://www.helium.com/knowledge/45759-office-tips-how-to-tell-coworkers-they-smell-bad
http://www.cafemom.com/answers/111479/How_do_I_politely_tell_a_co_worker_that_they_smell
v
Nobody has suggested it, but I just wanted to caution against the passive aggressive method of bringing in – for instance – really strongly smelling teas and commenting loudly about how they mask smells. Some women at the office of a friend of mine did this, and my poor, rather-fragile friend, who did not smell bad, started to become incredibly worried they were directing it at her.
Mel
I’m wondering if there aren’t several different issues going on with the smelly assistant. It may also be that she’s choosing fabrics that contribute to the problem and/or she doesn’t have a washing machine/detergent that fully gets the smell out each wash.
I also think that in many people know they smell, but they aren’t sure what to do about it. It may be that she tried natural deodorants some time ago and couldn’t find anything that worked, so suggestions about newer options may be a good choice.
KLo
Jess, that’s a difficult situation! Especially when somebody chooses to ignore the recommendations of her coworkers and continue to offend.
I have a question that y’all may be able to help with (I hope). I am one of those hard-to-fit frames: I fit in the upper end of 0-16 clothing, but off-the-rack requires a lot of tailoring and I’m still in law school. I have narrow shoulders, a huge bust, a non-defined waist and small hips and bottom.
The most consistently flattering on me are a blouse with a cardigan and pencil skirt or *some* jackets/blazers with a scoop and pants (the skirts tend to highlight how top-heavy I am). However, what’s missing from that list are real suits. Suits are almost always way too broad at the shoulder, accentuate my large chest and then make my bottom half look like it belongs to someone else. I find that Ann Taylor Loft’s more junior cuts are best on my no-waist, but they’ve seemed to really cut down on the number of suits they sell. Does anybody have any suggestions for off-the-rack (as much as possible for the next couple of years) dressing that might work and be conservative enough for my deep-south law career? Thanks!
Chris
KLo – Have you tried Banana Republic for suits? You may have to go up a size in jacket (and order from website) but they offer free or reasonable tailoring. I have to get a 16 in their jackets and always have arms shortened.
carissa
KLo — have you tried Classique Entier in the Individualist Department at Nordstrom?
KLo
Classique Entier is on my list of must-haves at graduation, but not yet. It doesn’t seem to fit the law student budget yet. But I will check out a Banana Sale! The problem is, I keep hearing reports from friends that their quality is tapering off … but I didn’t know about free tailoring. Good call ladies, thanks!
Mel
KLo- for your budget, BR and AT outlets could be a good choice. Every time I go to look at the suits at the regular BR, I think I’m with your friends that it’s just not worth it for that price. Semantiks at Nordstrom and Antonio Melani at Dillard’s are a good choice for that price range. I find Melani’s tailoring to be quite good at nipping in at the waist and avoiding that baggy area in the midsection if you don’t have a tiny chest.
y
Brooks Brother outlet was having a 40%-60% off sales this weekend when I went… on everything, sweaters, suits, coats, no-iron shorts. Maybe you can try one of them and see if you like it. They’re pricey, but good investment.
Imogen Lamport
How about Tahari?
Laura
KLo – I have had really good luck buying suits at Talbots. Check out their sale items, in particular. I just bought a navy suit on sale. The jacket was $150 and the pants were $80. I know law school budgets are tight, but their clothes wear very well, so I know I’ll have that suit for several years. Macy’s is also having big sales right now. I like Semantiks at Nordstrom’s too.
Jenna
We had a similar problem in my office. We resolved the situation by discussing it with our HR Manager first, who promptly issued an official memo to all staff as a friendly reminder that during the summer time, smells tend to be stronger with the heat. We advised everyone to refrain from wearing strong perfumes and to be sure to keep up with personal hygine and to wash clothing after each wear. She then approached the offenders privately to discuss complaints and options. The offenders got the message quickly, and the issues was resolved shortly there after. Plus, the people did not feel singled out or attacked by one particular person in the office. Hope this helps!
Nicki
I feel your pain because I always have trouble buying suits. :-)
Maybe try the Nygard crepe essentials line at Dillards. They are separates so you can buy different sizes f you need a smaller size on the bottom. Good quality and reasonally priced. I just recently bought one and the jacket was $99 skirt $49. Another option is buying a simple dress and layer a jacket over it for a professional look. I have two sheath dresses that I wear like this all the time.
Jen
I’m taking the Mass bar exam this Wednesday and Thursday. Any last minute advice/words of wisdom?
Allison
Jen—
Stay calm! At this point, you’ve done everything you can, so just focus on applying what you’ve reviewed in a sensible/concise fashion. For the MBE, process of elimination will be your friend. Try not to get too hyped up each morning (and avoid people who are bags of nerves, so it doesn’t rub off on you) because, for the most part, a majority of the people I know who failed are incredibly smart but tend to be nervous nellies. GOOD LUCK!
val
my mom was going crazy that she could not find this grape vine.