Weekend Open Thread
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The below content is about the 2010 Nordstrom Anniversary Sale.
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This weekend, we're loving this great L.A.M.B. hobo (part of the Anniversary Sale at Nordstrom). It's the perfect red, and the angled pockets, open zipper teeth, and zipper tassles give it an edgy, almost rock-and-roll look. Love it! It's currently $239 (but the price will go back to $368 after the sale ends). L.A.M.B. ‘Corsaire Seville' Hobo
I do not like this bag at all. It looks like Frankenhobo.
Agree, looks like someone attached a fannypack to it.
Third. Too much going on with the zippers and weird pouchy thing. And it definitely is not worth $239, never mind $368. You could do better at Target for $25.
But the grey bag from yesterday’s coffee break…that was a bag! Still haven’t decided but I want, want, want it!
I like hobos usually but not this one. Zippers are plain weird!
Agree… and in the worst 80s reference kind of way!
ha! hilarious. I’m not a fan, either. I never do like LAMB stuff, though.
+1
I’m always curious as to the intended audience for LAMB. The pieces generally strike me as things teenagers/very early 20-somethings going through a “punk” stage would like, but the prices strike me as too high for that age group. Perhaps the line is intended for teens whose parents finance their lifestyles?
I sat on the subway next to an 18 year old (max) with a Miu Miu bag today. I don’t think this has trouble finding an audience.
Lots of 20s and early 30s women working in creative fields buy lamb.
I didnt actually dislike this until I saw the weird brown buckles (belts?) on the strap. That’s ugly. Without that it would be cute; I love outside pockets like that — so handy!
About 2/3 of my friends (all 20 and 30 somethings) work in creative fields, none of them buy LAMB.
And, I didn’t say LAMB has trouble finding an audience (obviously it’s been in stores for a while and sells). I said that I always wonder what the intended audience is.
And I made a guess as to who the audience may be.
Clearly your friends are not it. I would imagine the world is big enough to include people who do not share your circle’s concensus. All I can say is that I see them on the trains in NYC with some frequency on youngish women, dressed semi-professionaly (e.g., funky dress & cute blazer).
Yes, you made a guess but also felt the need to snidely remark that, “I don’t think this has trouble finding an audience.” No one said that it did!
And I never stated that there are not 20 and 30-something creative types who buy this, just that I don’t know any. Clearly the world is big enough to include people other than those you see on the trains in NYC.
Wow.
Kimbo — I am going to just assume you had a bad day.
The fact that you read my comment as snide is unfortunate b/c it was not meant to be.
It’s the internet. I cant put a smiley or winky face next to every comment just in case someone misunderstands & decides to take it personally.
I (clearly mistakingly) read your original comment in a joking, lighthearted sort of way, and thought I was responding in kind.
Oops! Will have to remember not to do that again.
Wow. (Look, I can be rude and then claim I’m not doing so, too!)
Apparently I’ll have to assume you had a bad day as well, because I’m assuming regularly scolding and talking down to random commenters on the Internet is not part of your M.O.
Okay. Chip meet shoulder. Shoulder meet chip. Ladies, could we not start out the weekend post like this? I’m pretty sure it was a misunderstanding and not a mortal insult.
Additionally, my original comment (as well as the two subsequent ones) were meant in a light-hearted, conversational manner. After you felt the need to instruct me that there’s a whole wide world outside of the people I know, it caused me to re-evaluate what your tone might be in your initial comment.
Look, cute puppies!
http://www.dailypuppy.com/
Puppies make everything better.
Kimbo — I am dropping this b/c anything further said is not going to make the situation better. Let’s agree that it was a misunderstanding & move on.
PS: @ anon – love the puppies.
Haha, I was cruising through this thread thinking “Oh no, cat fight!” Then I read the puppies comment and chuckled a little, got one odd look from someone walking past in the office.
Kudos to you AIMS. It is the weekend (nearly), and I know I’m not my best on Fridays… I cursed at a poor woman from my bank over the phone, I felt so terrible!
The fights on this site make me laugh, actually.
FWIW, AIMS’ comment didn’t come off as snide to me.
While I definitely agree with the commenter who manages to get a laugh out of these petty catfights, they’re largely why I never click on the comments on this site anymore. But that’s neither here nor there.
Lengthy, petty catfights by women whose education and intended career paths would suggest a modicum of professionalism are largely to blame when there’s a presumption against women’s abilities to conduct themselves professionally in the workplace.
So on behalf of everyone (and I’m speaking for at least myself here) who has had to work extra hard from Day One on the job to overcome presumptions established by others, thanks a lot.
Every time a senior partner mutters that women are less capable of working together and getting past minor misunderstandings, every time someone points out that he finds women to be immaturely and inexplicably insistent on others “getting what they were saying” instead of just moving on, they can look to catfights here and everywhere and be absolutely right.
I always love when people state that they’re “dropping it” or “not commenting any more.” It’s like they want to look like the bigger person, but still want to have the final word!
Anon, I love Daily Puppy; I just discovered it earlier this week. So adorable!
Kimbo, chill the eff out. You are regularly snotty and annoying.
Ha ha. Love being told to chill out in what is the rudest comment I’ve ever seen on this blog. And you have the gall to call me snotty and annoying! Thanks for giving me a big laugh.
Wow, B, totally uncalled for. I’ve found about 2/3 of the regular comments on this blog way more snotty and annoying than Kimbo. I’m guessing you’re someone she’s disagreed with once who can’t handle it and feels the need to personally attack her, which she didn’t do to anyone here.
Thanks for demonstrating why I post as “Anon” instead of using a name!
Second B’s suggestion.
B, since I’m so “regularly snotty and annoying” (still laughing over that one), could you point out an instance to which you’re referring? I can think of one other time when I’ve gotten in a disagreement with someone on here, but can think of multiple other users who get in disagreements with much more frequency!
Seriously, B and L, what is your problem? Why feel the need to attack her personally? I’ve seen some rudeness on here before, but never on that level. (It was enough to make me change my username for fear that one or both of you would come after me next.)
Please S.T.O.P. the bickering. Give us a break.
Note, I am regular L and did not post the comment above. :)
I don’t want to restart any disagreements about LAMB, but the brand is Gwen Stefani’s brand, which may explain the style.
Yeah, I know it’s her brand. And she’s what, 35? (I’m honestly not sure how old she is, that’s just my guess.) I don’t know any woman in that age range who would/does wear LAMB (and yes, of course I don’t know every woman in the whole world, so I’m not denying that these women exist), hence my confusion.
(And yes, I recognize that older designed sometimes design for younger women, but I also know that Stefani herself wears LAMB, so clearly she’s not intending the line to be exclusively for younger women.)
I wish I was Gwen Stefani.
I mentioned that I got the Kooba Jordan Leather Tote featured last week. I got it new on Ebay for $150 and in the exact color of the bag featured in this post (called “berry red”). Much nicer and way more worth it than this LAMB bag if you ask me: http://bit.ly/ag6H6E
I liked that bag a lot. Glad to hear it looks as good in person.
Friend of mine saw Gwen Stefani in an elevator. She looked really old in person, to the surprise of my friend, fwiw… ;-D
Kind of OT–I’m ignoring the friction here–but I fell in love with the puppy site and wondered, as a soft-hearted cat owner, if there’s something similar for kittens.
LOLcats? http://icanhascheezburger.com/
I like http://cuteoverload.com/ because it has all animals, though a really cute cat is featured today :)
@microentrepreneur – Google for these Kitten sites (if I post the links my comment will end up in moderation):
Daily Kitten
Kittenwar!
Cats in Sinks
Bonus non-kitten site: Zooborns.
Enjoy!
Oh dear! I could lose a better part of an hour at Kitten War! Cute! Fun! Competition! What more can you ask for?!? ;)
youtube video “kittens inspired by kittens” is adorable. and i don’t even like cats. it might be that i like the girl, and not actually the cats. enjoy! :) (smiley face inserted as to not come off as being snarky or rude)
ooh, then maybe I dont wish I was Gwen Stefani.
I LOVE this. Very classy look and nice leather…And an amazing deal on top of it!
Total score.
Whoops. Posted wrong. Meant that to go with the Kooba comment.
Love Gwen but hate the LAMB bag.
It looks oddly inside out… Just not a fan of out disjointed it looks
you guys are weirdos. gwen’s 41, i’m 99% sure she looks better then all of you. the bag is better looking in person, as is gwen, and kimbo should have let the other comment slide. guess what? people are entitled to opinions.
and speaking of bags appealing to certain age groups, you two are bickering like you aren’t even old enough to go on a computer unchaperoned.
have a lovely day!
I have to love the fact that you left an incredibly immature comment criticizing others’ maturity! Did your Internet chaperon leave?
Does anyone have any experience with legal recruiters and whether a youngish associate (3-4 yrs) seeking to move to a different geographical market should seek the help of one or multiple recruiters? Pros v. Cons? Is there a time of year that is best to move? Any tips? Thanks!!
I don’t see the harm, they have access to unlisted jobs and you are not bound to them at all. As long as you’re not paying them + they expressed an interest in working with you, why would you hesitate?
a few words of caution I would throw out in terms of working with recruiters. First, if at all possible get personal recommendations. There are some unscrupulous and/or careless ones out there. Second, if at all possible meet with the recruiter once or twice to get a feel for them – do they believe in what you have to offer, do they listen to what it is you are looking for, etc. You want to work with someone who knows how to sell your individual strengths to a particular employer. And finally, be very firm in terms of controlling when and where your resume goes out. There are all kinds of horror stories of recruiters blanketing the market with an unauthorized resume or two different recruiters presenting the same candidate to a firm, etc. Take charge of the process and only give the go-ahead when you are comfortable with the person. And just because you have met with the recruiter does not mean you have to allow them to send out your resume.
The recruiting co. that’s been helping me always calls and describes a position to me to get my “okay” before submitting it. I agree that reputation is key here, no fly-by-night recruiters pls!
Not sure if this is helpful since I’m in finance but I LOVE working with recruiters — I worked w/ Robert Half – who I believe has a legal branch – and it’s great b/c you can be totally upfront w/ the recruiter a/b what’s important to you, you can stop revising your resume for every application, and they do the negotiation – and since they get a % of your salary it’s in their best interest to bargain hard.
In the legal temping field, we call them Robert Only Pays Half
I also worked for Robert Half for about a year after finishing my undergrad. Like Shanya, I did contract jobs, one in which I managed the books for the small non-profit. I was put in the uncomfortable position of writing the checks to Robert Half that essentially paid my paycheck. You are totally right, you only get about half back from them.
But I did enjoy the contract work and for someone who had little experience, I think it helped me to be able to work for multiple large companies and gain a broader perspective.
I went on from there to work with Kelly IT Services to do a few Finance jobs from the business analysis/project management side. (Again, being in accounts payables, go to see and pay all my own invoices). But wanted to throw out a caution…I took a contract to hire position at which I was given a permanent offer during my contract. The Recruiter outright lied to me about the starting salary – and when I questioned with my future boss the difference, he said he would call Kelly. He later reported back to me (and played the VM for me) of the Recruiter saying he never gave me that salary range and he suspected it was just a personal goal of mine that I “got into my head” as really wanting and trying to push for more money.
I was totally blindsided by this guy who outright lied to me about the pay for the job. Since I’d been there on contract, I really liked the job and the people and this made for a totally awkward entry into the position. In the end, I couldn’t get them to budge on my salary despite all my best efforts of negotiations. The recruiter made me out to sound crazy and delusional and the company was extremely disapointed at my outrage in the offer. And I took a job at less pay then I wanted (yes, my choice, I probably should have walked).
The only plus side was the hiring company stiffed this guy on his finder’s fee. As a large corporation, they just flat out refused to pay it saying they would send more business his way in the future and he accepted those terms. They told me later they would never use that recruiter again after what happened.
So just be aware and confirm starting salary/benefits, etc if you are doing a contract to hire or an outright hire through a recruiter. I’ve since heard of this happening to a few friends and I guess it is a somewhat common practice amongst recruiters. I didn’t know, being all of 23.
The above was me, on my home computer and it showed up as Anon.
Ooops, that first sentance should have read, “Like Shanya, I did finance jobs” not contract jobs. Which I did, but I was trying to stress that I didn’t work in legal – it was the finance division.
Hi – to be clear I did not work “for” Robert Half, I worked w/ a recruiter to find a permanent position… sorry for the lack of clarification! Good to know a/b the contract end of their business — I just interviewed w/ a recruiter who then brought me different positions to interview w/ for perm – The company that ultimately hired me paid a commission of some sort to Robert Half (I don’t know the details of what)
I think its pretty typical for most contracting/temp places to only pay you have of what they get from the company you are working for. Or charge the company twice what they are paying you – however you want to word it.
I have found this to be true in both legal temping jobs and other (like science/lab positions) fields.
I would use one or two max. Otherwise there is redundancy – a lot of them have access to the same jobs.
Which market? I know some in boston.
If you can, ask some folks at law firms in the market you’re going to which are the good recruiting firms. I tried to work with a recruiter a couple of years ago and had a fairly frustrating — he spent most of the time telling me that I wasn’t going to get a job (I was moving to be closer to family, so didn’t really have a choice re. markets). I found out later that his firm just didn’t have a presence in my new market. So definitely research that.
I have not worked with them myself, but several friends have used Major, Lindsey and Africa and were very, very pleased with their work.d
I used a recruiter to find a biglaw job in Denver about 9 years ago, and had good results. But a few local attorneys did caution me that a recruiter might not be a plus if you are looking for a job at a smaller firm or non-profit that may not be willing to pay the hefty recruiter’s fee. They may pass on your resume and look for others with a smaller up-front price tag attached.
For small firm jobs, if you want to avoid the recruiter fee, I recommend using Martindale and/or contacting your college and law firm for alumni listings, then sending out emails to associates asking for informational interviews. People are usually very willing to help. They can help you decide where to apply (and may help you get interviews at their firms). Then write directly to partners who went to your schools and work at firms you’re interested in, or to partners who are known for doing what you want to do (if you know and it’s a specialized field). Be prepared to call to follow up and confirm that they received your resume (I had a couple of such calls lead to “oh no, I must have missed it – you went to [school]? Of course we’d like to interview you.”
Ugh, I have to attend a funeral this Sunday, probably, for a partner from my firm. Just realized that I do not have an appropriate black dress (same thing happened re my friend’s father’s funeral last fall – was not prepared). I guess it will be ok to wear a black suit, but with a black shell, too? And generally I have a no-hose rule, haven’t worn them in years, don’t own any. But I am wondering whether black hose should be worn at a funeral, even during the day in the summer.
I don’t think you have to wear a black shell, just a more muted color. As for hose, it sounds like it varies by location. In Sacramento it’s going to be 102, so I wouldn’t wear hose outdoors.
I’m sure a black suit is fine. No need to wear a black shell or black hose. Just avoid bright colors.
I think you can wear a black suit or other dark suit. The shell doesn’t have to be black, but I wouldn’t wear a loud, cheery color top. If I didn’t wear a black one, I would wear a white or cream one. I would not feel compelled to wear hose but would wear closed toe shoes.
black suit’s fine. i wore a black linen suit to my grandmother’s funeral with just a plain cream shell, and I doubt I wore hose (It was in Georgia in mid-May, where linen is appropriate and it was probably hot).
Thanks for the replies. I have a gray jersey scoopneck tee, maybe that will do the trick. And I will feel less weird skipping the hose now, with the corporette consensus. Thank you!
one more vote for skipping the hose and just wearing a muted top with a black suit. And honestly a black suit isn’t even required. I think as long as it is conservative, relatively somber and not bright and flashy you should be fine.
I agree on the black suit. A black skirt/dark top or a black (sleeved) dress would be equally appropriate, especially if you’re going to be outside for part of the time.
A muted colored shirt with a black suit will be fine. You may want to find out if any part of the funeral will be outside (possible depending upon the partner’s religion) and dress and accessorize accordingly, e.g. flats or wedge heels if you are going to be standing on grass, pants if it could be buggy, an appropriate hat if it is sunny, an umbrella if rain is predicted, etc.
I always bring a handkerchief, tissues and breath mints to funerals. The handkerchief is for me, the tissues are in case people around me need them and the breath mints really help if the person next to you smoked a few cigarettes or had a snack beforehand. (And no, I am not rude about it — I tell the person next to me that I am having a mint and then offer one.)
It took the funeral and two or three anniversaries of my sister’s death for me to realize that wearing black on black is not necessary. Wear what you feel comfortable in (within reason) and I agree with people above, find out what kind of ceremony, where, etc.
A good alternative is navy if you don’t have anything black.
My summer funeral suit is a dark plum/gray silk skirtsuit. I wear these cute, pastel pink closed toe pumps with an ankle-strap. I would definitely choose a silk suit if you have one (regardless of color)… Standing at the burial site under that tent-thing where they do the “ashes to ashes, dust to dust” is tortuous emotionally and physically… Don’t add a wool, black suit to the mix if you can help it :( Sorry about the passing of your partner. Godspeed.
Sorry about your sister’s passing, @Alice… I’m sure it still feels like yesterday.
I don’t think black stockings are necessary – A black suit is fine (sometimes even better than a dress) – and a subdued shell of some kind is fine — no hot pink and you’ll be fine :-)
A close friend lost a late-term pregnancy last year (a week or two before due date). Any thoughts on how to acknowledge this on the anniversary of the (still)birth? We don’t live in the same city anymore and I’d like to reach out in some way to support her and acknowledge her child but I have no idea what would be appropriate.
I should probably point out that she is someone I speak to regularly, so I’m not looking for advice on how to contact her out-of-the-blue. I just need some help figuring out what in the world to say/do for someone on the anniversary of the day they lost a child :(
I’m so sorry to hear of her loss. My parents lost a child before I was born. Although it was under different circumstances (my sister was almost 10 when she passed away), my mother’s best friend has always sent a heartfelt card to acknowledge the loss and called on the anniversary. This has allowed my mom to mourn in her own way and still feel the support of friends.
You are a great friend for remembering. Most people assume the parents just want to “move on” and avoid bringing up the loss. The parents never, ever forget, and they usually feel relieved and touched when someone mentions it, or allows them to talk about it. Their baby was a person who was very real to them, even if the baby’s life was very short. I think it’s more painful when people don’t acknowledge the life, and the loss.
I agree with the flowers or plant suggestion – maybe even something they could plant somewhere in memory of their baby, if they didn’t do that after the loss. I also think a simple card with just a message about “I’m thinking about you today” would mean the world to them.
I would send flowers with an attached card that says ‘thinking of you.’ I wouldn’t directly refer ot the death. I lost a loved one in November 2008 and any time anyone brings it up directly I start bawling, and I don’t think this is uncommon.
Having experienced similar painful moments (although not exact), I would say a card saying “thinking of you,” a shipment of ice cream or something else she likes, flowers or a plant. The message should be “thinking of you.”
And kudos to you for remembering and reaching out to your friend. It really brought tears to my eyes. So many people don’t understand the pain of pregancy and fertility-related tragedies and expect people to bounce back instead of mourning losses like you would any losses. I can say from experience that it means a lot to have friends reach out and remember with you.
i basically said the same thing, but you did a better job than i! these moments keep my faith in humanity alive.
Ditto!!!!!!
If you’re in close contact, I think you just call and say you’re thinking of her. You can let her direct the conversation from there as to whether she’s up for talking about it or not. Nothing you can say will make her feel “okay” if she’s struggling with the anniversary but hearing a friendly voice acknowledge that it might be a difficult day for her and knowing she has support will certainly make the day easier.
i lost a sibling about 5 years ago and every year on his birthday, one of my friends sends me a card that says “thinking of you.” we are close and talk/see each other regulary; it’s still deeply, deeply touching and so thoughtful. thank you for being a great friend!
I agree – a card or note saying, “I’m thinking about you today,” is appropriate. (If she is religious, you can also add that she and her family are in your prayers.)
Read this.
http://www.recmusic.org/lieder/get_text.html?TextId=8965
It may help to express your feelings if you send a card.
Why not call her and say exactly what you just wrote? For me, at least, it would be heartwarming to have a friend tell me she cares, wants to support me, and also wants to know what works for me. It could also be an opportunity to get to know each other better. And kudos to you for being such a loving friend.
Question about thank-yous for past clients.
We just closed out a couple of contracts with some government clients, at the end of their fiscal year. Due to budget cuts, they were not able to sign new contracts with us for the next fiscal year. They were good clients and they were happy with our work; everything ended more than amicably and both sets of clients were regretful we were not going to be able to work together again in the immediate future. I am going to send written thank-you notes to them, but wonder if there’s something else or something more I should do? There is always the possibility down the road that they could get a budget appropriation and call us back to do more work, but I also just really liked these folks and would like to show my appreciation of them somehow. Bear in mind these are government people, so they can’t accept personal gifts over a certain dollar amount. But I could send cookie baskets or something. Thoughts?
Can you take them to lunch? The benefit of that is that it lets you talk, socialize, cement the relationship.
RR – actually, no. Whenever we have lunch with them, they have to pay for themselves. Normally I would go for that too. All my normal “thank-you” gestures are out the window with these government folks :)
Then I love a good cookie basket!
yup, it basically has to be perishable food that can be shared at the office. From my perspective (as a gov’t employee), I don’t want gift baskets, cheap day planners, pens, or whatever else contractors give us as goodies. Actually doing a good job really suffices. Also, the people who are receiving the services aren’t the contracting officers, so we have little influence as to whether your contract is renewed or not.
These aren’t federal government employees and actually, they do pretty much decide for themselves who they want to do business with, so continuing my relationship with them is important. Plus they’re just very nice people, I like them a lot, and they did some nice things for me while we had an active contract, so I want to return the favor. Not sure where the snark came from in your response, maybe you had a bad day or something? Hope things get better for you.
Those government restrictions are tough! I would send a small token, but I feel like that’s about all you can really do. (RR, lunch would likely be out of the question; I always forget the exact threshold for what government employees are permitted to accept, but it’s pretty low.)
My recollection is that government gifts must be both perishable (i.e. food or flower) and under $50 per office. I gift to several courts, as well as clients and referral sources, each year and have gone through the usual assortment of products such as cookie trays, popcorn baskets, pastry trays, and so on.
I got tired of the “same old same old” a few years ago and on the recommendations of two of my friends that work in the patent field (one in the Midwest and one on the East Coast) who both recommended the same vendor, my go-to gift is baklava from Mid-East Pastry Delight. Website is here: http://www.mepdelight.com/. A full tray of either walnut or pistachio baklava has over 40 pieces to it, which makes it great for an office. Even with shipping, prices are well within the allowable amount.
Everyone loves the baklava because it is different from the usual items and keeps great in the office freezer so that pieces can be put aside for people who are out of the office that day. I get a lot more “thank you” e-mail and calls for the baklava than for anything else I ever have sent!
This is a great suggestion – thanks so much!
I would think you would be better off waiting a few months or a year and sending a follow up note – possibly w/ a cookie basket to remind them that you’re still around in case their budget issues have been resolved…
Two somewhat random questions:
Laundry question– I bought three very basic silk shells from Talbot’s last spring (with small pleats at the neck). The tag says “dry clean” and I recall a conversation about people who had successfully washed silk shells, and I was wondering if any of you have machine washed silk shells from Talbots specifically. How did it go?
Bra question– I realized this week, much to my horror, that I “show” through my bra and shirt when I am cold. My chest is already larger than proportional for my body, so I really don’t want to wear a more padded bra. The bra type I wear now is a lightly lined molded cup, which I like in general, until I realized my problem. Do any of you have suggestions for some sort of… insert (?) or something I could put in between me and my bra? Non adhesive would be ideal.
I have those shells and I wash them by hand with Woolite (basically soak for about 3-5 mins, then wash out suds) and hang them to dry. This work out well except they need a steamer or a bit of time in the dryer to lose the wrinkles.
As for the bra question, I have the same problem. At 5’3″ and 34DD I definitely don’t want to call attention to my chest. I have managed to minimize most of the problem (not all unfortunately) with this bra: http://www.onehanesplace.com/product/20726.html. I highly recommend it. I tried some non-sticky “petals” I bought one time and it was a disaster, they slid all over the place plus I noticed them there. Did not work for me at all. This bra is lightly padded but it is also minimizing, so in the end I think it works out. It doesn’t show in that link but that bra and others in that line have a built in “petal” (extra padding) in the problem area.
Second Woolite. Have washed all my DvF stuff that way.
I would suggest looking for bras with heavier linings. Speaking myself also having a pretty large chest, no one is going to notice any difference if your bra has a little extra padding/thicker lining.
On a completely random side note, I’ve always wanted to try out those bras that VS advertises claiming they will add 2 full cup sizes. Just to see what it would look like. Though I am pretty sure I’d end up taking my own eye out.
The VS bras work. I’m a 32A and it’s a noticeable and welcome difference, lol. I bought one for my dresses with low necklines and I’m very pleased with it.
my friend who was a D once tried them on. we spent most of the rest of the afternoon laughing and wondering what shirt we could possibly fit over them. so if you have a friend who is sad or stressed, it’s a good cheering up activity :)
Could you wear tank tops under your shirts? I have a couple un-lined bras and I usually put on a tank top underneath for this exact reason. The tank also helps me stay warm so it doesn’t happen too. I got a few just regular tanks from Jockey or Kohl’s, and they seem to do the trick.
This isn’t a long term solution, but I had this problem a week ago and ended up just ducking into the bathroom and putting some folded up toilet paper into my bra. Not elegant, but it got the job done. If I’d had a handkerchief on hand, I imagine that might work as well.
In response to the Bra question, I have the same problem. I use “Breast Petals” from Target:
http://www.target.com/Beautiful-You-Breast-Petals-Skin/dp/B000NGIWMY/ref=br_1_2?ie=UTF8&frombrowse=1&qid=1279315409&searchView=grid5&sr=1-2&node=341511011&searchRank=pmrank&searchPage=1&rh=&searchSize=30&id=Beautiful%20You%20Breast%20Petals%20Skin&searchBinNameList=target_com_category-bin%2Ctarget_com_size-bin%2Ctarget_com_primary_color-bin%2Cprice%2Ctarget_com_brand-bin
As much as I know it is unprofessional and embarrassing for us to show nip at work – isn’t it kind of annoying that we go through so much trouble to cover up a naturally occurring thing? I wish we could be like – “we are woman, we have boobs, they have nipples, you keep the AC this cold, they are going to show – deal.”
I half think keeping the AC as low as it is kept in most offices is a conspiracy to cause this problem for women. That and I guess men wear a lot more clothing than we do (pants, long-sleeved shirts, jackets) in offices and also normally have a higher body temperature than women so it’s actually comfortable for the majority of them as opposed to for women.
I love this! If wishes were horses….
If you’re already thinking of getting an insert to prevent the problem, it’s not like a slightly thicker padding in the bra is going to be that much different. I find for me there is very little difference in the padding amount for the bras that have a problem and those that don’t.
I have DD cup breasts and also have this problem sometimes, and I found that a more padded bra works fine. I was hesitant to try padded bras too. I have the Calvin Klein Seductive Comfort and Perfectly Fit T-Shirt bras and they are perfect. Le Mystere’s Dream Tisha bra also seems to do the trick.
I use dimmers nearly every day, not wanting to add to my DD sizing. They stay in place without feeling sticky or suction-like, even in Texas heat when walking around outside or to/from the parking lots.
http://www.amazon.com/DIMRS-Silicone-Nipple-Covers-Nude/dp/B000YT6W6I/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=beauty&qid=1279327622&sr=1-1
I first ran into them in a hihg-end lingerie shop here…I like them the best because they are tapered as well as flexible.
I’ve bought a pair to keep at the office – for when I think I’m “fine” and I’m not…I don’t naturally have alot of – ahem – height – issues, but with the ac or a clingy top which didn’t seem that way in the mirror at 5a, well…better safe than sorry. Of course, the trick is not to end up with both the office and home sets at home!
I was going to suggest some of the LilyPadz nipple shields I used while breastfeeding – they are manufactured for a different purpose but would work the same way. These look like they’d work even better.
I was wondering the same thing, but for two Banana Republic skirts. They say dry clean only but is that necessary? They are just simple classic pencil skirts.
@Anon, I’m the same! I love VS bras. My male classmate said a slightly inappropriate comment about how I looked “busty” when I was wearing a VS bra. I am definitely not busty!
I have used the home dryer drycleaning sheets for years, with great results. Just follow directions on package. They even work on light stains, although if something were really dirty, I would either wash it or send it to the cleaners.
Thanks! I will give them a try
My favorites are Bali bras with “petals”. They come in minimizer and non-minimizer versions. The best for this issue but not that attractive admitedly. I have tried other types of things but the Balis seem to do the best. I can wear plain white T-shirts, anything now!
Report back on last week’s Weekend Open Thread shoes (the purple ones with the rosette detail)!
Just got them the other day. Freaking adorable. Love them. I got them in the burgundy for a friend’s wedding that is coming up in a few weeks. Only complaint – they’re just a smidge bit snug (and I have pretty small, narrow feet). But nothing that couldn’t be cured by a little breaking them in. :)
A motnh ago my boyfriend and I moved into a new apartment. The couple next door just had a baby girl, and I wanted to give them a card and a small gift to say congratulations. She was still pregnant when we first moved in, then my boyfriend and I went on vacation for a week and she had the baby while we were gone.
That was a few weeks ago, and I’m starting to feel guilty for not making our gesture sooner. I don’t know what to give, since I’ve only spoken with the couple on two or three occasions. I thought maybe a bottle of wine, or some home-made cookies would be nice, but are those appropriate gifts for new parents?
Any advice?
Probably not wine – she might not be drinking yet, but I think cookies or better yet a casserole that can be put in the freezer would be great. I think it is really nice that you want to do something! A card or something cute for the baby also would be fine.
Agree, I think it’s fine that you didn’t do it earlier. They’ll appreciate it anyway.
Not doing it earlier is totally fine – I loved all of the things people sent/gave us after my daughter was born. You are such a nice neighbor!
I shared a common wall with an apartment with a new infant. I am by no means anti-child -and yes, congratulations to the happy family (I suggest some kind of take-out dinner gift certificate because there are nights they are not going to want to cook) but brace yourself for screaming/crying baby nights. I’m sure that the neighbor parents felt terrible about it and wanted the baby to stop crying almost as much as I did, but it really did get frustrating and exhausting after weeks of crying baby.
I suggest getting a prescription sleep aid to have on hand, just in case. I found it to be essential for screaming/crying baby nights when I had a big day the next day. Thankfully, my next door baby is getting older and crying less now.
Ha, @SFBayAssoc.. Ah, memories! In law school, we lived in a tiny apartment in Mountain View with paper thin walls. Our neighbors had a newborn was born and she screamed night and day (mostly nights). I sleep like a rock, so it didn’t both me much (no sleep aids needed!). They also walked the baby outside after a while, which helped calm her down often. The Dad was a software engineer who worked tons of hours and his poor wife was left at home with the screaming baby. Well, Grandma came from India to help out and I’m not sure what she did, but that baby emerged as the most contented happy baby ever! I hope your neighbor’s baby turns the corner too :-)
Earplugs are a Godsend. I can’t tell you how much I’ve slept through with those things in. I won’t be able to sleep through a fire alarm, but stuff like babies crying or drunk chorus lines outside my window are no problem whatsoever. I’d much rather use cheap earplugs than use prescription sleep aids.
Except with earplugs, I can’t hear my alarm either, which hampers the important day the next day. And after a few weeks, the baby crying started to really stress me out. As soon as I heard it, I’d start anticipating another stressful sleepless night and a miserable next day and go into a stress spiral. Therefore, go half-pill of Ambien!
Thank you ladies! I decided that I’ll make an extra-big casserole over the weekend and bring half next-door. It will give me an excuse for taking a nice, long study break from CPA-prep too–two birds with one stone! Love it.
Either my neighbor’s baby is a super quiet newborn, or the walls are really well insulated, because I have not heard a peep. I was worried about that, and will keep my fingers crossed that it stays this way!
I love the story about the Grandma’s visit, that outcome is wonderful for all parties involved.
@SFBay Assoc, Glad to hear your next-door baby is crying less now, and I totally see how the whole experience could be traumatizing! Sleep deprivation is torturous.
You can get a silent alarm — they vibrate, and you can attach them to your wrist or put them under your pillow. (Or I suppose these days you could set your cell phone on vibrate…) It’s the freakiest sensation, i.e. a very effective wake-up (and I am in the sleep-like-a-rock camp myself).
Love the silent alarm idea; will have to check it out. I’m married, and my husband and I are on slightly different work and wakeup schedules, so I’d love to get him one of these so I can get my extra 1/2 hour of sleep in the morning!
Very thoughtful of you. Usually new parents have so much going on in the first few weeks, they’d probably be grateful you waited:) Cookies/casseroles etc all sound most welcome. Or of course a small baby gift.
A close friend had a baby recently so I got the detailed blow by blow on what’s good, bad, and unnecessary in gifting: If you go w/ baby clothes aim for a bigger size than the baby’s age, and don’t give a receiving blanket – most new mothers are given a ton of them. Gift certificates to Babies R Us are always appreciated, as is dinner – but be careful – if you don’t know about dietary restrictions that can be tricky – some women cut down dairy b/c their babies can’t tolerate it, or have allergies…
I have a question for discussion: How important is it to leave work AFTER your boss? I have several friends who insist on staying at work, even if they are not busy, until 5 minutes after their boss leaves. How critical is this? My boss typically walks around as he is leaving and encourages people to leave, too. Thoughts?
You need to score facetime points strategically. I learned the hard way…. Stay late a few nights a week and if he’s still there, stop by and say goodbye as you leave (maybe check on a memo or whatever to not be too obvious) ;-D
Maybe check with him, like ask if there is anything he wants you to do because you finished up all of your work. Maybe he will like that you are efficient and motivated. Then if he has nothing he will probably tell you to enjoy your evening!
Depends on the boss & workplace. Assume you’re in the US (like many posters) so probably not that big a deal unless you are leaving pending stuff undone. I frankly think most bosses won’t notice or care. The good ones, that is.
Agree that it really depends on your situation. Is he walking around at the end of the day mentally tallying who stays late like a good do-bee, or is he walking around thinking “WTH are all these people still doing here?” :) As AN said, the good bosses won’t care how many hours you put in; they’ll only care about the quality of your work. Plus, I think a lot of times we don’t give our supervisors enough credit for being astute. In my experience, they know what’s going on (regardless of how out-of-touch they seem), and probably aren’t fooled by those who twiddle their thumbs for five minutes after s/he’s left the building.
One factor to consider, too, is whether he’s busy enough that stopping in to say bye would be a nuisance. My boss’ office is right next to mine, but I’ve noticed that a) when he leaves before I do, he usually calls in a joke about how I’m working too hard; and b) usually when it’s quittin’ time and he IS still working, he’s on a call and it would definitely be annoying to him for me to try to score points by knocking.
The guy who had my job before I did (we overlapped briefly) always seemed to come by and announce to our boss that he was leaving. He also came in about 1.5 hours late every morning. So I’ve decided that since I arrive on time, I don’t need to make any big show of staying around late. I agree with what’s been said above: good bosses, no matter how busy, overall know what’s up. If you’re doing your job, it shows, and if you’re not, you can’t make it look otherwise.
With my boss, not important at all. At this point, I’ve been here 7 years. People know I am willing to put in the time. It’s not necessary for me to “show” them anymore. I think that after you stay late for a few projects or come in weekends, etc., people know you are putting in the time.
That said, when I am slow, I would probably want to be in the office in sight when my boss was there because if a big new case comes in, I want him to think of me.
If he’s walking around then very crucial – b/c he’s making a mental note of who’s there – even if it’s not a conscious checklist (and w/ a previous boss it definitely was), it stays in his head. If he’s walking around at 6 and the workday ended at 5, then it’s less crucial – you never ever want to be the girl who cuts out at 5 on the nose every single day.
While the quality of our work should speak for itself, in many cases our work is commingled w/ the work of other colleagues’ before it gets to the attention of the guy making decisions about our careers, so covering all the bases is important.
I don’t think it’s about when your boss leaves – it’s about having a similar work ethic to the rest of your coworkers (and boss) and being accessible. On a nice summer Friday, I might leave the office around noon, letting my boss, immediate coworkers, and direct reports know that I’ll be working from my deck and they should feel absolutely free to call or email me and I’ll respond immediately. Many of my client stakeholders start at 7 or 8 AM and leave at 5 sharp; I’ve got a long commute, so I usually get in around 9 but regularly work until 9 pm.
Bottom line: you’re not going to impress your boss with how late you sit at your desk, you’ll impress him/her with the quality of your work – so stay as late as you need to in order to excel.
Only exception to this is if you know your boss is working on an interesting project and you want to help out. In this case, though, don’t just sit around waiting to be asked because you’re the one in the office latest — pop your head in and offer to help!
I need some advice on giving a retirement speech. My boss is retiring and his reception is this week. I may be the only one of his subordinates speaking. The reception will be a very low key party with mostly people from the 2 groups he has worked closely with. His family is planning to attend. In all, there should be about 50 people and it will be held in our office building during lunch. I have only been out of school for 4 years, all of which I have spent working for him. He is retiring now and taking a few months off before looking for another job in the field. We work for government, so this is common. We are in a niche field, so most of us will be working with him again in some capacity.
I am thinking of a light hearted approach with a few serious notes. I am considering doing a top 5 list (David Letterman style) of the best things about him leaving. I am quite concerned that I will become emotional during the serious notes. My industry is male-dominated and I expect about 80% of the attendees to be men. Other than the token “it really sucks to be a girl sometimes” acknowledgement while tearing up, does anyone have advice. My boss is such a great guy, he deserves a good reception and some public acknowledgement.
I’m sure you’re already going to include this, but I would put in a time that his advice got you out of a really tough bind. Also if he has a specific saying that you’ve adopted, talk about that too.
I don’t think it would be a big deal if you do tear up a bit. I would imagine that your boss would be honored and touched that you think of him so dearly that you would become a bit emotional. Unless you’re afraid “emotional” will turn into “crying, slobbering mess,” then take a deep breath before you start. And don’t drink alcohol before you do give the speech – nothing’s worse than a crying, slobbering, tipsy mess. :-)
I would also take into consideration what the SOP is for retirement/resignation speeches given in your office. In our office, when people leave, there is a definite formula for the speaker as well as the guest of honor, so that gives a framework for all speeches.
Thanks ladies! Unfortunately, there is no standard formula for retirement speeches. They run the gamut from short and sweet to oh so long and drawn out. Anything goes from just gushing over the person to “roasts.” As long as a few tears are OK, then it will go well. I have read so much lately on how being emotional at work can impact a woman’s career, but I think this may be an exception. Wish me luck!
I bought this suit at the Nordstrom anniversary sale yesterday:
http://shop.nordstrom.com/S/3092390/0~2376776~2374327~6007059~6007114?mediumthumbnail=Y&origin=category&searchtype=&pbo=6007114&P=1
(P.S. to whoever was asking for how to get behind the curtain: Have $2000 spent in a year on your Nordstrom card OR (my way) ask for something specific you’re looking for. They had 1 plus size suit out, I asked if they had any others, and they brought me what they had from the pre-sale!)
First, I feel kind of guilty because I’m on my bar stipend and I bought all 3 pieces for about $210. But, I don’t have a grey suit and I’m working for a circuit court judge at the state level this fall, so I think I’ll need a suit at least frequently, right?! (Tell me I’m right!) And it’s practically impossible to find not ugly plus size suits, so you got to get them when you can, right?
Second, As always with Halogen it’s the pants are unlined. Why line the skirt and jacket and skip the pants! Arrgh!
Third, polyester. I know we’ve had this debate, but wool, plus size suits always seem to be so much more expensive, and they NEVER have them at Nordstroms or anywhere I can try them on. It isn’t shiny. I’m starting out. Is it a terrible thing that all my suits are some type of polyester?
don’t feel guilty–I just bought a suit at J.Crew’s recent sale because it was brown, a color I adore for suits and is nearly impossible to find, and I don’t even have a bar stipend/ bar loan (no firm job lined up for me–I’m living off last summer’s firm earnings until my job starts in fall). My theory is suits are always useful and if it’s one I love and on sale, I’m just going to consider it a work-related investment.
second–same with the one I just bought! What is with that? I can’t for the life of me figure out why you line a skirt but not the pants–it’s the same fabric. I mean, sure, pants would be more expensive to line, but it just makes me not buy the pants.
third-no, but i’m not a fabric snob. and i’m a poor recent grad. i assume people understand this.
I just bought a suit from JCrew – the super 120s (I think the brown one I saw on sale was the same fabric). The sales person said that they used to line their pants but that they found that the super 120s fabric draped better without the lining. Which makes sense to me because this fabric is very, very fine. I’ve worn the suit with the unlined pants several times in the 100 degree heat in NYC and haven’t had any issues with it. It really does stay cool (as long as you aren’t outside for TOO long). And indoors with the AC, its perfect.
I like a lining for 3 reasons. 1) prevents wrinkling so you look nicer all day. I think this would be a BIGGER problem with fine thin fabric. 2)Prevents stretching of the outer fabric reducing wear and need to dryclean. 3) Prevents panty lines (or at least reduces them, again more of a problem with thin fabric). I’m sure in a loose trouser the lining adds some stiffness, but for me it’s worth it for all the other benefits. I end up wearing “petti-pants” under the unlined pants for the above reasons. But, If it was 100 degrees outside I think I’d probably be trying to wear a skirt anyway, so I can see if you want to wear pants why it would be preferable.
First, you are correct. Suits are always justified as long as you will wear them alot. Which you will! Hurrah!
1a – I just walked into my Nordstrom’s tent. I definitely don’t spend $2k/year at Nordstrom despite my best efforts, and I hadn’t talked to anyone. Maybe the security guard was on lunch when I went?
2 – grr.
3 – It’s not a TERRIBLE thing that all your suits are some kind of polyester. IMO, the better thing is that it looks nice on you. The jacket on the model looks like it’s too big for her, I think mainly because of the sleeves. But if you go to a tailor and get it fit to you, it’ll look much better. IMO, tailoring automatically makes anything look better, from a wool Super 220 suit to a nylon-polyester atrocity that makes noises when you walk.
Nordstroms has free tailoring during the Anniversy Sale (and all full price stuff usually)! So, I don’t have it, it’s at tailoring.
Oh this is pretty awesome, do you know if they’ll tailor something I bought online?
If you bought it at Nordstrom online, yes. If you didn’t buy it at Nordstrom they will still tailor it, but not for free. And some stuff they’ll still do even if it was on sale.
Nordstroms has FREE TAILORING??!!
This information has changed my life. Fo’ serious.
I’m not sure about this– I paid for tailoring on a dress I purchased yesterday at Nordstrom.
I’m not sure exactly what it applies too. I’ve had pants hemmed, sleeves hemmed, side seams on jackets taken in (even including something that required the sleeves to be altered), and waists on skirts and trousers taken in. If something’s on clearance I don’t think they do it, and if it’s a more complicated thing like altering a sleeve length with working buttons there’s probably a charge. There’s a sign in the dressing room 3 way mirror area that lists the details, and many many things are free.
At my Nordstroms, they said they were having to crack down on people who aren’t Nordstroms card holders trying to presale because so many people just show up and try to pre-shop because they know about it. That being said, I love my Nordstroms card because I shop there most frequently and the rewards only encouage my habit!
I tried this suit on at the sale too-thought it was super cute despite the polyester. I really liked it and thought it didn’t look cheap at all! Then I did some damage with a gift card from graduation. Then I had to study for the bar some more…
I think you just have to make friends with a sales person. I don’t have a nordstrom’s card — I try to minimize opening store specific cards, but shop a lot in the Savvy and Individualist departments and know a couple of sales associates. Two different sales people called and asked if I wanted to make an appointment for the presale. It was my first year going (I’m and east coast transplant to CA, and there weren’t many nordstrom stores). It was pretty great, no lines, great personal service. Got a couple of things that are totally sold out on line.
I think it’s fine that your suits are polyester derived — As long as they’re not shiny, noisy or visibly flammable (kidding!), the most important thing is that they fit you well.
Looking for some advice:
I’m about to move from San Francisco to Chicago, and I’m wondering what I’ll need, wardrobe-wise. Thankfully, I don’t have to put together a professional wardrobe since I’ll be a grad student — but I would love any tips about what I should be stocking up on. Is it possible to find a nice-looking coat that will keep me warm for $300 or less?
Yes! I just moved from SoCal to Chicago this time last year, and didn’t have a ton in the way of coats. I bought three coats , each in the neighborhood of $150 or less, and they are all great. One was a cute short down coat (army green, and as nipped a waist as one can have in a down coat), one was a wool dress coat that I wear for a more formal night out (or over a suit), and one is a mid-calf length down coat. This coat isn’t sexy, but you need it if you are commuting in the winter here, and everyone else will have one as well. I think I bought mine on ideeli or ruelala, but you can also check the Burlington coat factory/tj maxx/marshalls sorts of stores for options.
If you are moving from SF proper, I imagine you have a lot of the damp/fall weather gear that I didn’t have – boots, decent rain coat, wellies – but I would also look into those if you don’t. Tights and/or long underwear may also be helpful; I never bought them (since this past winter wasn’t too bad), but if you haven’t lived through a real winter ever, there is no need to torture yourself.
I love Chicago, but it isn’t a cutting edge fashion town. You should be able to find affordable, attractive clothes that allow you to fit without any problem at all. No need to start stocking up too early unless you want to.
Have you ever lived in cold climates? The key is to layer, and to have either technical fibers or wool to do so (no cotton). You’ll probably be able to use most of your San Fran wardrobe in the winter and definitely in the summer. As for a warm coat, I recommend the women’s chalet long coat (made of down) from Lands End. It’s not the most fashionable coat but I think it’s fairly cute and most importantly, keeps you very very warm.
Also get yourself some warm and comfortable shoes and boots that are warm and have a lot of insulating rubber at the bottom if you’re going to be commuting at all via walking. For nice boots, I like Merrell’s Tetra Launch. They look fashionable enough and are both waterproof and lined with fleece to stay warm (not if you’re knee deep in snow but they satisfy most commuting situations).
This is the coat I’m talking about: http://tinyurl.com/yly2y3y. I think it runs large, but this coat should never be too tight, you want to be able to wear a suit or another shirt + jacket underneath at least.
I have this coat! I love it.
Me, and I’m not even “up north.” It’s also fantastic for football games or other outdoor spectating.
yes–I got one hugely on sale at Macy’s at the end of a season. See if you can find one now before places start getting in fall/winter clothing lines.
Also, a tip on buying a coat I would have never realized if my roommate, who lived in Boston before school (we’re in NYC), hadn’t pointed it out. I thought I wanted the longest coat possible to cover my legs and keep warm, right? Apparently not–get one that stops at the knee, or maybe mid calf, or the hem will get nasty and muddy from the snow. (the concept of snow tall enough to reach a coat hem, or really any snow that didn’t melt after the morning, was a foreign concept to me before I moved north)
This is a good point. If the OP will be walking downtown I highly recommend knee high rain boots for the snow. Not as warm as say, Uggs or something snow boot like, but you can tuck your dress pants into them easily so you don’t show up to work with them soaked fom the calf down. Oh, and if soaking doens’t sound that bad, let me tell you that when they dry, they will have a giant line from the salt. They salt everything here to melt the snow.
And the snow doesn’t stay too high downtown because of this (and heated sidewalks), so rainboots are better because you will mainly be dealing with deep slushy puddles.
My coat is from J Crew and it’s a knee lenghth black wool dress coat. It was around $300 and I’ve had it for years and it’s holding up fairly well – I may have it relined.
Are you looking for a coat to wear to work? Because despite the fridged temps, I rarely see people where something like a down parka to work (which would make sense) everyone sticks with a black wool dress coat. I wear a zip up sweater under it (this is great because it keeps the wind out of the neck area) – so many coats are “low cut” there. And a scarf over it, and gloves and a hat. You’ll be ok, if it’s really cold, walk with a cup of coffee and you will survive!
But yeah, I have a great Marmot jacket that’s gortex and water/wind proof and has an awesome hood, and whenever I wear it on really lousy days I get comments from people on it. Definately stick with wool dress coat, preferably with a Thinsulate lining. And wear another light jacket under it (a zip up sweater or light zip up fleece jacket like you way wear to the gym or on a run outside.
Where are there heated sidewalks downtown, and why weren’t they underneath me the bajillion times I’ve wiped out on the sidewalks in the winter? :-)
I believe they are mainly in the financial district of the loop in front of the larger buildings. There are little plaques on the ground that say, “Mechanically heated sidewalk.”
Are you going to be downtown Chicago/somewhere along the lake? If so, get scarves and hats to protect your face in the winter. Horizontal freezing wind coming right off the lake is super when you want to wake up, but really uncool if you want to keep your nose and eyelashes.
2nd the layering. 2nd the super warm coat – don’t worry about how you look in it. You’re not going to care how you look when it’s -10 without the windchill and your train is late so you’re stuck on the platform 30ft in the air.
Funny story: One of my friends from the Netherlands came to visit me in Chicago when I was in college. I told her to bring her warmest coat, the one she goes skiing with. She didn’t, and brought a cordoroy coat with gloves, and proceeded to refuse all my extra coats. She commented one day, “People here don’t dress well.” I said, “what do you mean?” She said, “Well, everyone looks like they’re homeless with these big coats and hats and scarves.” I said, “True, but you are the only person on this street who is shivering right now.” :-)
Ha, I noticed that too. It’s extremely hard to tell who is homeless and who isn’t in the middle of winter!
Yes! Buy your coat at Lands’ End. They’ll have lots of great down coats on their website come fall. You probably want snow boots, gloves and a hat too, and long underwear (silk is best).
Chicago is great, much less fashion-forward than East Coast cities, a lot of residents are transplants from smaller places in the midwest.
Also, summer in Chicago is hot! Be prepared for heat stroke after leaving a cool San Francisco August!
Seconding the Land’s End. Summer is actually a great time to shop their Overstocks section for cold weather gear – the prices are pretty low, and the customer service is great. I bought a parka in June last year, then had the zipper die this February, and they replaced the coat at no cost to me. Love it!
Thanks for the ideas, everyone! The specific brand names and products are very helpful — it’s hard to gauge how warm things will be just looking at pictures online. I’ll probably wind up getting one of the Lands End down coats — they seem well-priced for the quality.
It’s been a few years since I was in Chicago, but the Nordstrom Rack and Filene’s basements there used to have a good selection of coats as well as scarves and hats. If you get on the Land’s End mailing list, you will get coupon codes. The J Crew coats on sale are also nice for a dressier coat. I’d pick up a basic warm coat at a discount and then you can get a dressier/more stylish one later on. You will definitely need waterproof boots too; I have some by Keen that are good.
I have a camel hair coat that I absolutely adore — I got it for well under $300 — I believe it clocked in at about $150 from Burlington Coat Factory. Not sure if there’s one by you but mine is Calvin Klein, and the camel hair is super warm, a beautiful tan that goes w/ everything and shows no dirt, and perhaps best of all, does not irritate my skin since I’m allergic to sheeps wool. It would have cost closer to $250 at Macy’s.
North Face. Great coats, everyone has them, and they last.
Sorry — should’ve noted that I meant everyone in Chicago. A slight overstatement, but having worked in the Loop for a decade, it’s not far off. There were days in January when I swear 80% of the women downtown had on a North Face coat.
Very true. Especially the long puffy coat variety. I was even up in Wisconsin once and saw a woman in one and thought she must be from Chicago. And as we waited in line together at the J. Crew she overheard my zip code and started talking to me as it turned out we lived near each other!
I have a North Face jacket that I wear outside of work (mine is the Denali) and I LOVE it!! Replacing it with a smaller size was the first thing I did post-weight loss – it was that important that I have it! Outside of size related changes, they last forever, and aren’t bulky!
Waterproof boots are a must, and they should be at or near the knee–while the sidewalks get cleared off pretty fast, the intersections often become slushy pools several feet deep (no one wants to be that person jumping over the slush pit and not quite making it). I have a pair of Merrils that I tuck my pants into and a knee high pair of LL Bean boots that I wear with skirts. Beans also has some great coats and I completely agree with the person who said that you want a coat that stops around the knees, you often times have to jump over piles of snow, so you need mobility and the bottom can get really wet and salty if it is too long.
Personally, I also need a hat that covers my ears and meets my scarf–that winter wind is a killer and waiting for the el or the bus can seem like an eternity if your ears are not covered.
Don’t be scared off by the winter–Chicago is a great place to live ;-)
Hi all,
I’m looking to Corporette in hopes you ladies can help me out. I’m a 1L at a summer job, and I’m having a bit of trouble navigating my interactions with men at the workplace. Namely, I think my male co-workers (superiors) are flirting with me, with one giving me preferential treatment compared to my co-workers at my level, and another hinting at asking me out (I think). I’m not sure what to do, because I don’t think it’s overt enough to say anything to either the men or the ultimate boss, but I want to ensure that I’m not compromising myself 0r making it seem as if I’m not taking the job seriously, and I want to make sure I’m not sending mixed signals. Also, I don’t want to cause ill-will with my co-workers at my level.
Any advice on how to behave so as to ensure I don’t come off as flirting? Also, I would LOVE to hear opinions if anyone else has found herself in the same position, or how you have viewed it if you’ve seen other women in my position. I’m not sure what to do, and my friends’ opinions have ranged from: “ask him out!” to “how awkward,” but nothing substantially helpful.
Thanks for any advice you can offer!
Can you describe an interaction where you think they might be flirting with you? Perhaps they’re just friendly and it’s their style or perhaps it really is flirting. Maybe they just like you on a personal level and that’s why you got the assignment you got, this happens to men with other men all the time, doesn’t have to be sexual.
In general, here’s my advice for not appearing to be flirting (I’m very good at this as flirting is something I had to actually work hard at before I got married:). First the obvious: don’t wear anything suggestive/seductive — knee-length or longer skirts, nothing too tight, make sure your tops don’t show cleavage esp. when you bend down to get something, don’t play with your hair when talking to people (that’s just good advice in general), pull it back in a more “severe” look if you want to look “all business.”
Now, the more tricky stuff: for these particular men who you think might be flirting with you: try not to be in a room alone with them (might be hard to do if you’re getting an assignment or something, but short of that), mention your boyfriend if there is any conversation that walks over into the off-work social line that isn’t work related (like a summer function) (don’t have one, doesn’t matter, mention him anyway), keep your distance physically from them during interactions (this is hard to do with some people who have no concept of personal space, but take a few steps back and stretch out your arms when talking if it becomes an issue, or simply excuse yourself and tell them you’ll call them later), talk in shorter sentences and only about business (what I mean by this is, answer the questions needed, ask the questions you want to ask about work, and don’t volunteer information. If you can make your voice deeper/more authoritative — think: presenting in public — so much the better).
One last thing: if there is ever anything inappropriate said to you (outright), I have found that the best thing to do is usually the hardest. Do NOT laugh it off. Simply don’t.say.a.word. Sit there in silence with a severe/serious expression. Usually the other person will hear what they just said again in their head and realize how it sounded. Then move on to whatever the task was at hand. That said, staying in silence is HARD. I have found practicing helps.
Wow, great advice, LawDJ! Especially the last paragraph.
I’ve been asked out many times at work and upon reflection, it was probably 50% my fault almost every time. My workplace is extremely casual but I dress more feminine than the other women, and I have a bad tendency to speak in a higher, flirtier voice when talking to some coworkers. Not saying that’s your case, but it’s something to watch out for.
I agree as well — Make a concerted effort to keep your personal life personal, which means not discussing things/events/etc. w/ him. Keep it polite. You can joke, but I would try to keep it to a minimum — think cool, calm, and collected – and focused on your job. Good luck!
Is this a place you’d like to work after you graduate? If not, don’t worry about it because you only have like 2 weeks left at this point. If it is, here’s my take.
I know you think of these coworkers as superiors because they work full-time in the department, but it’s possible they don’t see it that way. After being here for the last two months, our summers seem pretty integrated into the group–I have to watch my language not to reference the untouchable subjects such as offers, layoffs, comparing other firms, etc. Just pointing out they may not realize it’s inappropriate. That said, trust your gut. If you think they’re flirting with you, you are most certainly right.
I’ve had this happen a couple of times and have usually said with a smile on my face and a lighthearted way something along the lines of: Now, John, you know that’s against the rules! I have a very strict rule against dating/entertaining/grabbing dinner with coworkers/superiors. Men usually get this–frankly, it’s a slightly nicer way of saying “don’t crap where you eat.”
For me, I don’t find it helpful for the long-term working relationship to confront the person and tell them they’re making me uncomfortable, but to each her own. I find the working relationship is better when others don’t have to walk on eggshells around you. If it continues, talk to your supervisor.
Searching for some moral support: first year in biglaw and our group is slammed and several partners are out on vacation. I’m stuck trying to revise a heavily negotiated document which has several non-standard provisions without a mid-level associate/jr. partner to act as a buffer between me and the only “screamer” in our group. eek eek eek. I am getting on to a call with the junior partner who previously negotiated everything after interrupting his vacation for the umpteenth time. I feel terrible.
If you do a good job on this, you’ll get all the credit because you’re working directly with the partner with no go-between! This is a great professional opportunity for you, and one most first-years don’t get. Show them what you’re made of!
Ditto. It’s an opportunity, not a bad thing.
Agree with both of the above responses. It’s tough to feel out of your element, but do your best. One tip for documents you know are unusual is to do a “find” on section references to the unusual section (or to distinctive defined terms) — then when you need to revise it, you can look good by knowing where else the doc may need to be modified. (“oh, should we revisit the indemnities in light of this change?”)
Try to assemble all of your questions at once so you minimize the number of calls, but otherwise don’t feel bad that you’re interrupting the vacation! Partners (especially junior partners) don’t really go on vacation… they just work shorter days from a different location :)
Thanks for all the support. It was going really well–until this morning when several emails he sent asking me to jump on calls came in 30 minutes late. Then he was dictating comments over the phone, and I sent a draft to the client with an incorrect comment. He realized it after I sent it, replied all on the email and asked to fix it. It was a change in the business point and it was clearly wrong and I should have caught it. ugh. ugh. ugh. such a bad sunday morning.
This seems like a very minor mistake, and easily fixed. Plus it was on a draft, not the final version.
Partners don’t expect you to be perfect; they expect you to be diligent. I guarantee you he’s happy with your work.
You’re right to take a look at your own behavior, but I’m also wondering what kind of workplace this is, where the men apparently feel free to have non-professional interactions with the 1L summer associate. If one of your superiors wants to get personal with you in a way that makes you uncomfortable, just steer the conversation back to work topics. If he persists, I would recommend a chat with whoever is in charge of the summer program.
I’m starting my first “real” job (after grad school) this week. The position is a legal/HR assistant for a data services corporation just outside NYC. It’s not my dream job, but I’m going to be open-minded and see what opportunities develop from it. What should I wear on the first day to a business-casual office? I have been there a couple of times and the senior men I interviewed with wore suits, though the woman I will be working with/for did not and discouraged me from doing so. I wore suits for both interviews.
Any other general first-job advice?
Wear a sheath dress with a cardigan and closed-toed pumps. I would have said to wear a jacket, but if the women discouraged you from wearing a suit, a cardigan’s probably a better choice – don’t want to look like you ignored their advice. The sheath dress is formal but comfortable for the summer and closed-toed pumps are the best bet until you’re sure about the rules on open-toed shoes.
If she discouraged wearing a suit then I wouldn’t… though it is a little odd. A conserative blouse, sheath dress, low heels or flats should be good… good luck!
Hey ladies, I have 2 questions that have been nagging me (sorry for the long thread). Please advise:
1) Naturally, I’m looking for a job and I have come to terms with the fact that biglaw is a dead end. It’s just not going to happen for me, not in this market, not with the competition for these jobs. It seems that based on my skill set/resume and my review of the market, I can most likely scoop up a job in consulting or compliance. I have 2 interviews coming up with a financial firm and a consulting firm. God willing, if one of them hires me, I will probably end up much happier than in biglaw based on my personality/desire to start a family sooner than later/etc. And I also want to be in a bigger institution than a small office, and so the 2 upcoming interviews would be ideal places for me in that sense too. However, I wonder how much I will be missing out on if I end up using my jd in an alternative way. Will I be foreclosed from legal (as opposed to the quasi-legal jobs that these interviews are for) or midlaw/biglaw down the road? How do I know if that’s even what I want? I know biglaw opens up so many doors for people and pays back loans quick, but it comes up with a price. Will I miss out if I never end up there, and be stuck wondering “what if”?
2) I am really into personal style blogs. Corporette is great, but I like it where people actually take photos of what they wore and post “inspiration outfits” (e.g.: http://whatiwore.tumblr.com/). Do you think that a young professional woman blogging in this way would be detrimental career-wise (i.e. not fashion or creative fields, but white-collar professions)? Assume outfits would be modest and not bikini shots…just fun fashion. Would it matter if there are photos of the blogger with no name on the blog, just a nickname (i.e. an employer googling your name wouldn’t pull the blog up)?
Thanks for any feedback!
2) Interesting question about how it could potentially affect a corporate career. Assuming everything is in good taste (no bikini shots, etc., as you said) and sticks to stylish corporate wear, you wouldn’t think it should have a negative effect. Though, as we learn so often here on Corporette, the appropriateness of everything is highly subjective! :)
I would probably do what I could to anonymize the blog — no name, maybe crop the shots so they don’t show your face, photograph outfits on a dress form instead of yourself…and I’m sure there are other ways.
With all of that said, I would love to see more (any!) of these types of blogs. I love looking at them and must have 50 bookmarked, but none are career-oriented…simply because I can’t find any. Searches haven’t turned up any that are TRULY corporate. For instance, search the Career tag on a site like Chictopia and I think it’s safe to say that most Corporettes would be scandalized! ;)
If you do decide to start a blog, be sure to post your link; I’d love to see it!
Also….here is a link to a reader question about a year ago that talked about corporate personal style blogs:
https://corporette.com/2009/06/08/reader-mail-do-any-blogs-feature-daily-outfits-suitable-for-a-corporate-environment/
As to #1, was your goal in going to law school to become a litigator who actually sees a courtroom? Or was your goal simply to challenge yourself and your mind and engage in critical thinking / problem-solving? If it’s the latter, I do think you’ll be very happy with your newly chosen path. If your goal however is to argue in a courtroom, I do think you may be foreclosing your options by working in finance. Not only will you be pegged as “corporate” lawyer if you ever want to switch back to a true legal practice, but you’re going to be missing out on all the initial learning a litigator goes through. It sounds ridiculous, but you need to start at the beginning and do the doc review and redundant motion drafting to argue the discovery motion, to take the depo, to argue the dispositive motion, to try the case, etc. If you tried to switch, you would likely be too “expensive” to do these mundane tasks and you’ll be missing key parts of the learning process.
My take: if you want to litigate, don’t take this route now. If you wanted to be in big/mid-law corporate, you could definitely switch back someday.
Litigation was never my goal. I have a jd/mba and I always wanted to something financial market-related mixed w/ law… securities/ hedge fund work, which is why I like the compliance strategy.
But I feel like the same rationale applies to being too expensive to train if/when the legal market recovers and I want to switch into law. So if I go finance, biglaw would prefer to just train a fresh jd at that point, and I’ll be pigeon-holed because I have no firm experience.
Just wanted to chime in my agreement to Anon’s comments. You would likely be closing the door on litigation if you accepted one of those jobs now. If litigation isn’t your goal, you’ll get relevant training and experience in your finance jobs that will translate later on, in the private legal sector and definitely the government.
Just don’t wait too long to re-evaluate whether you want to make a move to a law job. A couple of years in finance/compliance is great background; five years might be too long to make the transition. Also keep in mind that lots of folks in big law are chomping at the bit to get the hell out and go in-house. You could be pulling off the great trick of getting there without spending a couple years hating the biglaw life!
Good luck to you; these decisions are always stressful. Nothing has to be permanent, though—if it turns out to be wrong, you are still “fresh” enough to fix it!
I’ve been out a few years, and have always been in a legal job, but never “practicing” per se (so jobs that require a law degree but not a license). You are right that it is difficult to move into practice if you have never practiced, because firms and agencies invest huge resources into training new lawyers and new lawyers don’t actually make money for them or really know what they’re doing until they’ve practiced for a couple of years. So if they hire someone with no practice experience who’s five or so years out of school, that person will expect some seniority and respect for her work experience, but will need to be trained like a first-year.
Having said that, it doesn’t mean that you’re absolutely foreclosed form ever practicing law if you don’t practice law right away. True, unless your consulting is in a niche area with very few experts, you probably won’t end up at biglaw. But it’s still possible to end up at a smaller firm, government, etc. Make sure you stay current on your law license and CLE. Be somewhat active in your local bar association. Do pro bono work related to your potential area of practice. When you want to make a move to practice, reach out to recruiters who will help you spin your skills in the best way possible and will be realistic about your chances.
As for style blogs, consulting and law are both risk-averse professions and your employer might not like your having a blog. I would wait to start one until you have a job and you can feel out what the reaction might be if your boss came across it.
Good luck!
1) I have no useful response, except to offer sympathy–I’m in the same position, except I’m going into policy/politics and praying the law market picks up in about a year and I can get a firm job at that point. hopefully. And at least there’s a lot of us in the same position, so maybe firms will understand if there’s a year or two of non-firm work? maybe?
On a side, not quite thread-hijack note, a few weeks ago I noticed one of the Corporette commentators had her own blog (per the blue-colored name.) I enjoy reading the other Corporette blogs — thank you Ms. accountant, Ms. booklover, Ms. traveler in a beautiful “trailer,” Ms. make-up expert, etc. —
I checked her blog out, as I do everyone, and found an extremely right-wing political blog. It had a nasty picture of President Obama, and some really offensive — to me — commentary. I clicked on to the “about me” portion of her blog, and learned her internship for a state judge was ending and she had no job offers. She couldn’t figure out why because she had great grades and was a brilliant student. Some of her blog seemed to be about her natural red hair and concomitant good looks.
I suggested she might be having trouble getting jobs because her opinionated political blog might offend potential employers and/or the clients of said employers. I asked if she had ever seen a biglaw partner write a radical political blog, or the head of a government agency write such a blog. I explained that as a member of a hiring committee, we always review the social network/blog sites of potential hires, and if we feel the site is unsuitable or offensive, we simply won’t hire.
I never returned to her blog to see her response, but what do you folks think about maintaining a right or left wing blog during a job search? It seems unwise in the extreme to me.
In comparison, a style blog seems completely benign. One might worry however, about the amount of time taken in writing the blog and whether the blog or the job comes first.
Maybe she should apply for a job with the Institute for Justice! Very conservative but good organization that fights against regulations, etc. I think if I wanted a job with the Southern Poverty Law Center or the ACLU I would be blogging left wing. I hate that we have to hide who we are to get a job.
I don’t think you have to hide who you are. My resume revealed my political leanings, which are 180 degrees from most of my current colleagues’, including people who interviewed me, and they hired me anyway. I think, though, that a blog tends to indicate that you are very opinionated about your political views, to the extent you want to share them with strangers. I don’t really want to work with someone who rants about politics, and such a person wouldn’t fit in in my office anyway.
I do have to admit that there are a few political viewpoints that I find so hard to stomach I’d have a hard time hiring someone whom I knew to hold them. We had a job candidate who had an internship with an organization I find repulsive, and I disliked her before I even met her. So I do think you have to be careful about how much you reveal, especially if your views are controversial or extreme.
My husband and I write a blog together, and we are very aware of how it may be perceived by potential employers. We proof read each other’s posts with an ear toward, “Is this appropriate? If it is archived and accessed 10 years from now, will we be sorry? Does it respect other people’s privacy?” Our target audience is our family (including school-aged nieces) and people who share our hobby.
It is highly unlikely that our hobby will overlap with our work. Our hobby is also quite benign (not “adult-themed,” for example.) So impressions the blog might make on employers include our writing skills, ability to handle conflict in the comments, and general attitudes toward problem-solving.
If I were a hiring manager, I would certainly use that non-trivial information. After all, a blog with your real name or identifying photo on it is a public display of your talents and interests. There is nothing wrong with having interests outside work. Yes, a blog takes time, but so does being chair of the local Rotary or captain of the dragon boat team. Most people would proudly put those on a resume to show leadership skills, teamwork and commitment.
Fashion is a non-controversial hobby/interest. Blog about it proudly, but keep it G-rated and use it to showcase other work-related skills. If you can’t do that, or wish to discuss politics, religion, sex or other charged topics, then I recommend you write under a pen name and keep it truly anonymous. That requires keeping your ego in check.
And for a great example of how to do it right, think about Kat’s creation and moderation of this blog. She states her opinions up front in the post, “I like this skirt and think it would be great for work.” Then she lets the differing opinions in the comments stand on their own merit. She doesn’t enter into the cat fights and so doesn’t sully her own reputation. She keeps the spam out and is very clear when her links may benefit her through sponsorship. The design is clean and readable. She comes across as upbeat, positive, consistent, and honest. I’d hire her in a heartbeat because really, that’s more important to me than the height of your heels.
At the risk of revealing my “true identity,” I attended a law school with a “political reputation” that is the opposite of my own. The place I want to work in and the area of law are generally considered to be more in line with my views than my schools. I always wonder if I get fewer interviews or some such because of that. I ALWAYS get asked “what it’s like to be at X school? It’s pretty conservative there, right?” I have an answer I feel comfortable with, but it’s a very very risky part of an interview to me.
I don’t think people should or shouldn’t be hired based on political viewpoints for a non-political job, but people are more comfortable with people “like them.” I’m sure there’s not a statement in the hiring committee meeting that “we don’t hire conservatives/ liberals,” it’s just a feeling people may have. I’ve considered padding my resume with left leaning activities to prove my “street cred” and prove I’m not an undercover operative.
As a hiring committee member, I wonder what role one’s obvious politics or religion (as revealed by resume) play?
When I was in college I was a file clerk at a litigation firm with very conservative partners (most of them were LDS, the women partners never wore pants, firm functions were dry), and the hiring committee went out of their way to interview and hire people with opposite philosophies.
So, I wouldn’t worry about it too much.
Getting my headshot taken for my first “real” job; it’ll be published on our website and posted in a hallway of a large organization. The men wear shirts and ties generally in them, with some of them also wearing jackets. I was thinking of wearing a lightweight jewel neck sweater with a string of pearls that hit just below my collarbones. Very classic and neutral, since this picture could potentially be up for years. It’s a black and white photo — should I wear a black sweater or a dark tourquoise that brings out my eyes? How much will the color value matter in a black & white shot?
Any other tips? I’m going to wear heavy but natural makeup
If it’s black and white then it doesn’t matter whether you wear black or turquoise, if the turquoise is dark —
I think black, white, and “color” each read differently in black and white. I’d say wear “color” that is solid, the turquoise. It won’t bring out your eyes, but the tone will be lighter than black. I think you want a little contrast from your skin/ hair tone.
If you search on the blog, there was a lot of discussion on this topic earlier.
The LAMB bag looks like what a teenager who really doesn’t have very good taste at all would consider a sophisticated look. I enjoy Gwen Stefani as a singer, but her LAMB line is cheesy cheap-looking mall rat and this bag is no exception. I wouldn’t pay $20 for it.
Agree — I don’t get it… but then, I’m an admittedly conservative-taste-want-my-expensive-bag-to-last-a-while kind of a girl
Does anyone here work at a museum? I’m a professor thinking of making a career move to work in museums putting together exhibits. Networking through a director at the Library of Congress, I’ve connected with a lawyer who was instrumental in vetting a new historical museum going in my city. I’m frying to figure out what to wear when I meet him. My usual work attire for teaching or conferences is kakhi pants or skirts. I don’t think that would make a good first impression on him, but I don’t think business suit, if I owned one, would be appropriate either. I’m in a southern city but haven’t lived here that long and don’t know if a jacket will be expected. Any advice, anyone?
Ladies, there’s a huge sale on Clark’s shoes at 6pm.com today: http://bit.ly/clqgvc
That link is sorted with highest discount percentage at the top.
It looks like they’ve put Clark’s entire line on sale, from sandals to dress shoes. Great for more structured and comfortable shoes like I need.
I got 2 pairs of Laguna Cove a few weeks ago, I wish I’d waited! They’re $25 less now. Totally worth the higher price though.
I ordered this bag in the grey color (sold out on the website). I love LAMB stuff and I’m a 28 year old attorney working in a small firm. I have a huge red leather bag that I wear to the office when I don’t have to go to court. It makes me feel a little less boring in my sweater/cardigan, slacks and pumps combo.
I’ve been looking for a red bag for a while, and loved this when I first saw it on the Nordstrom site, and ordered it. I was quite surprised (and pleased) when I came to Corporette and noticed Kat had featured it. However, after reading all the negative comments, I’m not sure whether I should keep it (when it arrives, assuming I like it in person). I still think it’s a gorgeous color and great shape, while also being a little edgy/unique, and would have no qualms about toting it to work (though obviously not to court) at my SoCal biglaw firm, but now I wonder if people will look at me and think I have horrible taste?
I like the general look of it. It doesn’t match my personal style but I’d think nothing of it if I saw someone else carrying it. It’s a leather, designer bag in a traditional color. Nothing wrong with that in the workplace, and besides it’s not like you’ll carry it around the office all day. I think bags are one area in which women in conservative fields can have more fun, precisely because you mostly only wear them outside the office.
People here tend to comment as though their taste is the standard against which all workplace fashion should be evaluated. Take the comments with a grain of salt.
I agree. It’s definitely not my personal taste, but I don’t think it’s office-inappropriate for an average, not-taking-to-court-or-client meeting type of day.
I posted earlier that I don’t like the bag (the pouch and zippers are too much for me) BUT it IS a matter of style and taste – I don’t seriously think anyone at biglaw, midlaw or gov’t law would draw any conclusions about a woman who chose to carry it. Bags are a way to be a little more ‘individual’/edgy, whatever and if this one appeals to you, go for it. I really liked the grey bag from Thursday’s coffee break but I decided that it was just too big for me. I keep trying to break out of ‘church lady’ black bag mode and have a hard time with it :/ ! Get the bag if you like it and carry it in good health and good humor!
You should keep it if you like it. Things also look different based on the outfit you carry it with etc, compared to a pic on a blog. Plus, what people comment here is based on their taste, not yours.
I think you are not alone. This bag is now sold out on the Nordstrom’s site. Maybe that says something about Kat’s selling power!
I posted above that I didn’t like it, but I certainly wouldn’t judge anyone for carrying it. People have different style and taste (mine runs very classic), and that’s okay. There are a lot of things I would NEVER wear that I love on someone else – even Frankenhobo.
Question riffing off the political/fashion blog post…
In school, I was President of a couple organizations that could have a political bent. Nothing so obvious as the Federalists or the ACC, but enough that people see it and draw an opinion before meeting me of my political leanings. Funny story: their opinions usually turn out to be completely wrong upon meeting me. I’ve had many more than a few people who I’ve worked with on projects as President of these orgs say “Wow, I didn’t know the President of [org] could be so nice/moderate/not crazy!” I’ve also had this interaction many times:
Me: “Hi, I’m Sarah”
Them: “YOU’RE Sarah? But you don’t look like the President of this feminist/anarchist/crazy organization. I mean, you’re wearing a suit and stuff…isn’t that too misogynistic/conservative/much like the Man for you? ”
So should I take these organizations off my resume? They’re definitely not anything extreme like “Terrorists R Us,” and they’re really not political organization. But if people have said these things to my face, I can only imagine what they are saying to my resume as they put it through the shredder. I would hate to take it off, as it’s a good title/position, and I’ve done a lot with it. But if it’s keeping me from interviews, then should I take it off? Thoughts?
I’m still in school, but I’m in a similar situation and I’ve asked this question to a lot of people. The answer I’ve gotten over and over is that if you want to work for a firm/organization that agrees with that view, keep it on. If it could limit your job choices, however, then it might be worth it to leave it off your resume. That being said, I personally believe that you should evaluate it in the context of your entire CV…does it add something? i.e. is it your only significant leadership position? Then the skills it demonstrates which would otherwise be absent from your resume might tip the scales to keeping it. Besides, even though you may occasionally get negative responses, it might also be that item that gets your foot in the door.
I recommend tweaking your resume on a job-by-job basis – not just for red flag items, but also to make sure your showing off your skill set so that it meshes as much as possible with the job listing … if you already have graduated from college and have career experience, I would take them off without a second thought. If you’re a recent college grad looking for your first job I would consider whether you have other things on your resume that would give the same qualifications (leadership, etc.)… BUT – having an offbeat item on your resume can be what gets you the interview, rather than losing it. Sometimes they “just have to meet” the school teacher applying for a job w/ finance, the accountant w/ a minor in creative writing, or the surgical resident who went to clown college…
This is what I said above, and since it kind of got buried in the middle but is relevant to your question, I’ll repost:
I don’t think you have to hide who you are. My resume revealed my political leanings, which are 180 degrees from most of my current colleagues’, including people who interviewed me, and they hired me anyway. I think, though, that a blog tends to indicate that you are very opinionated about your political views, to the extent you want to share them with strangers. I don’t really want to work with someone who rants about politics, and such a person wouldn’t fit in in my office anyway.
I do have to admit that there are a few political viewpoints that I find so hard to stomach I’d have a hard time hiring someone whom I knew to hold them. We had a job candidate who had an internship with an organization I find repulsive, and I disliked her before I even met her. So I do think you have to be careful about how much you reveal, especially if your views are controversial or extreme.
/end copy and paste.
I should add that I have a hard time imagining what organization comes off as ‘crazy’ but isn’t as ‘obvious’ as the FS or ACS. I actually would consider both of those groups pretty mainstream – definitely not unusual to see either on a resume. I’d be careful about putting on your resume an affiliation with a group that advocates for a particular issue or viewpoint, especially a controversial one. Then again, if the issue/viewpoint is an integral part of your life, it’s also possible that you don’t want to work with people who completely disagree with you on the topic and so you should leave it on your resume to avoid getting hired at a company where people would vehemently disagree with you.
I should have read further! I asked a similar question above.
I’d love to hear from some of the hiring decision makers! I can’t take my law school off my resume though. It seems to me that taking your leadership roles off would hurt more than help.
Perhaps address them in the cover letter somehow? In interviews I say, “being at conservative law school helped me learn how to negotiate and interact with people of differing viewpoints, and the reputation far exceeds the actual atmosphere at the school. I’ve found that by being in the political minority at SCHOOL has allowed me to consider my own views and improved my ability to defend them.”
People’s opinions about organizations are SO shaped by their experience. Women’s Legal Society/ Christian Legal Society/ Federalist Society/ ACLU/ Constitution Society/ Queers and Allies at YOUR school might have been reasonable, but at their school 30 years ago it was all rallies and protests. How can you predict what they do or don’t think is radical!?
From a hiring perspective, it admittedly does color my views, but generally when its multiple organizations. I consider myself fairly liberal, so member of FS doesn’t bother me, but FS, Christian conservative club, young republicans etc… suggests to me you are really enaged in that space and while I have no problem going to toe to toe in the polictical discussion, the workplace is not the place and others may not feel comfortable, so any candidate would have to work pretty hard to overcome that impression. Similarly, if you are in ACLU, PETA, Young Progressives, you get the same treatment, because again, the workplace is not the forum for proselytizing of any type.
Not insurmountable, by any means, but a hill to climb.
Yesterday I hit the jackpot at BR and wanted to share– I don’t know how long the sale goes, but everything in the store was an additional 30% off, including the sale items. I got an italian wool pencil skirt for $14 (yes, $14), a non iron button front shirt for $20, and a nice t for $6. My local store has tons of stuff on deep discount, and its not a big store.
I have pretty much given up on Ann Taylor in favor of BR, at least until I see something I like again in AT. Ah for the days of navy wool blazers over crisp white shirts and argyle cardigans…. sigh.
I hit that sale on Friday and got two pairs of jeans for $16! ($8 each). I went in to get pants hemmed and had no plans to buy anything, but they had a whole table of last year’s denim marked to $11.99 minus the store-wide 30% discount. Pretty crazy — one pair was marked $120 original price and the other was $79.50.
And I hear you about missing some of AT’s old styles… frankly nothing that BR/J.Crew/AT have been putting out lately has been catching my eye, too many ruffles! Hopefully we’ll see some nice classic styles in the fall collections :)
I need some advice on men’s shoes today ladies! My hubby works for Sherwin Williams and is really really hard on his shoes. He is on his feet all day long and frequently spills paint on himself. He also needs to look presentable when major contractors come in and when he goes out on sales calls. We have gone through 4-5 pairs of cheaper black “business casual” shoes at about $30 a pair. We are willing to spend a bit more, so long as the shoes are going to be durable and easy to clean and comfortable. (Most paint comes off with some fingernail polish remover.) However, I have watched him destroy many, many pairs of shoes, so I don’t want to step up the price range too much. I’m not sure what he DOES to his shoes, but they fall apart with some lightening fast speed. I have $10 shoes from payless that have lasted years longer than his $100 athletic shoes. Any good brands or stores recommended? Thanks!
Don’t have an answer, but my boyfriend has the same problem. His business shoes developed cracks in the soles after less than two years, and he barely even walks in them. (He is lazy and hates walking places, especially in work clothes.) And these were his expensive pair; I encouraged him to get them because when we met, he owned a different, cheaper pair that were in really bad condition (tops had separated from soles, so they flapped open).
Maybe repost this during the week when it’s not following > 200 other comments. I would love to get some advice.
my dad just got hush puppies that he loves. he’s also tried the bostonian/clarks line and cole haan. (i know this because we no longer let him shop for apparel/glasses/shoes/etc on his own). the hush puppies were the most reasonably priced, and he seems really happy with them. he also adds a dr. scholl’s comfort gel for more comfort.
I love Danskos and they’re great for people who are on their feet all day. A lot of doctors wear them. They are leather and look presentable enough, but they’re clogs. Mine have lasted over 5 years, with daily wear during cooler weather.
I think that the nail polish remover probably damages the shoes and eats away at the leather. Not sure if that’s a good solution. Couldn’t he get some sort of shoe cover to where when he’s painting to avoid this problem in the first place?
They are faux leather… they were cheap after all. And he is never actually painting, he just mixes, matches, delivers, etc. But paint is drippy and manages to get everywhere regardless of how careful he is. He would have to be wearing shoe covers all day long to avoid spots. We also have trouble keeping his khakis and work shirts clean, but fortunately, SW provides him with new shirts pretty frequently to address that issue.
Thanks for all the advice ladies- he is off this weekend, so we will likely be going on a shoe hunt. Those side-zip work boots sound great- not only is he standing all day, but he lifts 5-gallon buckets of paint and has been known to set them down on a toe or two.
Wish me luck shoe shopping with a boy all weekend!
If they’re leather maybe he needs to polish them and take better care of them. Some women’s shoes can stay nice for really longtimes if they don’t need to be polished but in the same way that a leather handbag starts to look old and beat up if its not conditioned, maybe that is what causing the falling apart/cracking of the leather? especially if he barely walks in them.
My father is a New Balance devotee (that’s not overstating it… they’re all he wears.) – He owns a small business that has it’s own share of messy chemicals, etc., and has to make sales calls as well. The New Balance shoes he gets aren’t cheap (He also has a wide foot so I think it may be harder for him to find shoes), and he goes right to their store, not a discount store, and gets fitted. He goes through a pair a year.
Re: Men’s Shoes
I have 2 suggestions: leather work boots or black skechers lace-ups. My uncle is a small business owner that deals with heavy equipment. He has foot issues, too. The only shies he ever wears (mass, meetings, yard work, etc) are brown leather steel toe work boots that zip up the side. All work boots are virtually indestructible and so supportive. They clean up nicely and look perfectly acceptable with khakis or twill pants. When my office ordered new work boots for all the engineers, we strutted around in the new kicks for a couple of days. The guys that ordered the side zip style looked fine. The rest of us looked like we needed to grab a hard hat and get on a job site. I have noticed several men around the office wearing the skechers (or Rockport) lace-ups with khakis or twill pants. They are comfy and seem to hold up on some people who could destroy most anything.
These options may sound iffy for some business casual situations, but they would be perfect for someone dealing with contractors. In my experience, dressing like you know how to work and are willing to do so goes a little farther with those types than being really polished and professional.
Doc Martens.
Any suggestions for where I can find elegant, dressy but inexpensive costume jewelry? I have picked up a few things at JCPenney, NY and Co, and Kohls but now I am out of ideas. I need these for gifts to send overseas. I’m thinking along the lines of Monet at Macy’s, but less expensive. I took a look at Forever 21 but I think it would take too long to pick through everything. Online sources are fine. Also, any suggestions for where to find inexpensive clutch purses ($20-30 range)? Thanks.
Forever 21 sells accessories on their website. WAY less overwhelming than looking in store.
I like jewelry sets from Avon.com
I also read about this eBay seller on another fashion blog: http://stores.ebay.com/mytag
you could wait for sales online at banana republic and jcrew. i never buy any jewelry from those stores at full price anymore because i’ve found that the vast majority of their accessories go on sale at some point. often, the stores will do a promotion where the items are even further discounted. i’m not sure when you need these items, though, so maybe waiting around for these sales won’t be the best option for you. if you can’t wait, perhaps check out anne taylor loft. they’re having a sale right now where everything is an additional 50% off. good luck!
etsy.com for both. I know it can be a bit overwhelming, just search in the jewelry category for what you’re looking for and you should find lots of gorgeous stuff!
Try Lia Sophia — I’ve been to one of their “jewelry parties” (think Tupperware but w/ accessories) and got some really nice looking but inexpensive work costume jewelry — I belive you can also buy it online.
Someone posted a link to this Etsy store here a few weeks back, and I’m in major, major lust.
http://www.etsy.com/shop/Gosia
If you’re in the NYC area, why don’t you check out the fashion district (mid 30’s around 6th ave)? They have lots of things at various quality and price points.
I have a job interview coming up and did a quick search online for tips and found this ridiculous article about how to answer the question “are you overqualified for this job?”. Most of these answers border on threatening. I’m so glad I’ve found this site and all your useful advice – it is clearly much better than what supposed “experts” are offering.
http://jobsearch.about.com/od/interviewquestionsanswers/a/overqualified.htm
WOW. The suggested responses sound psychotic!
Wow- that was just horrible. None of them are reasonable advice to give when people ask you whether you’re really willing to stay a few years.