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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 292 Comments · by

Weekend Open Thread

Fashion

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BLANK NYC Skinny Corduroy PantsSomething on your mind? Chat about it here.

For some reason, skinny corduroy pants seem like new to me — and I'm loving this reasonably priced pair at Bloomingdale's. They look comfy, opaque, and (dare I say it?) even slimming — nice. They're $78 at Bloomingdales.com (which is currently having its “Buy More, Save More” promotion — 20% off if you spend $250+, 30% when you spend $500+ — always a great deal if you're looking for a new bag). BLANK NYC Skinny Corduroy Pants

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Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. Jessica

    If you’re looking for skinny cords, I really really recommend Gaps. They’re not only affordable, but super flattering as well!

    • Ana

      I ordered a pair of the Gap perfect boot cords, and they were hideous. They took 1.5 months to arrive, and then they came and I was so disappointed. The material was really thin, the cut was super-unflattering, and they were much tighter than they should have been. The online reviews concur as to size (people ordered at least one or two sizes up), and they also say that the belt loops tear easily (like in the dressing room). This was a major annoyance, since I got them in petite so I had to pay to return by mail.

      Maybe the skinny cords are super, but the bootcut ones suck.

        • Jessica

          and with my behind, i always order up a size in skinny pants. probably a good idea with these for most folks!

      • AIMS

        A word of warning about Jcrews — I got the black & everything sticks to them like mad. It’s like being a walking lint brush. I only wear them when I run out of other clean clothes. Hopefully the other colors don’t have this problem b/c they’re really comfy but just FYI.

        • shyanon

          Interesting re: JCrew – I have two pairs of straight legged JCrew cords from last year (black and deep plum) and both are fine. They don’t seem to pick up much lint or animal hair (crucial as my pets shed like it is their job). I wonder if they changed the fabric composition?

          • AIMS

            hmm…. mine were on super sale on the clearance rack, last year. Maybe they were a defective batch? I am glad to hear it’s not the case for others. I love cords; will have to investigate getting another pair at full price.

        • a

          i have the black toothpick cords from last year and do not have this problem. they are really comfortable.

      • Gap

        You can actually return petites (and other sizes not sold online) in the store. I know that wasn’t the point of your post, but just for future reference!

        • Ana

          The invoice had stars near the return column, which made me think (based on the key at the bottom) that I couldn’t return it in-store. But maybe I am misreading it. Will keep this in mind — thanks for the tip.

      • AT

        somewhat off topic, but you should be able to return in the store, even though the stores don’t sell petite. i buy the Jackson fit pants from Banana — which are online only — and have no problem returning them in store.

    • K

      I have a pair of the GAP skinny cords in a lovely charcoal color. I bought them on a whim with a 45% off coupon and I am so glad they did. They are so flattering & comfortable. Love to wear them with boots on the weekend.

      • L

        I have the always skinny cords in black. They are great, but do tend to stretch out in the waist and seat after a couple of wears. Gap has this problem more with the Old Navy brand (lower quality???) but it happens with gap pants as well.

    • KelliJ

      I highly recommend the Slow Gait Cargo cords from Anthropologie. I bought them yesterday, am wearing them today, and will go buy a pair in another color tomorrow. L-O-V-E! They are super flattering and super comfy. The best part is…they are on sale for $49.99.

      http://www.anthropologie.com/anthro/catalog/productdetail.jsp?subCategoryId=&id=18680181&catId=SHOPSALE-PANTS&pushId=SHOPSALE-PANTS&popId=SHOPSALE&sortProperties=&navCount=20&navAction=top&fromCategoryPage=true&selectedProductSize=&selectedProductSize1=&color=024&isSubcategory=&isProduct=true&isBigImage=&templateType=E

  2. NYC

    Outfit assistance! Event: in-house legal group holiday party (dinner) at a country club. Spouses are included.

    I’m thinking black pencil skirt, subtle gold Vivienne Tam sweater, and black patent pumps. It’s basically a festive office outfit, but I’m wondering if I need to be more explicitly dressy, given that some of the wives might come in dresses. I think the hubs can wear a suit and bring a tie in his pocket. Any thoughts would be appreciated!

    Oh, just read the article linked to in the news update. Maybe I should do my hair differently, curl it or something.

    • TX Attny

      I think your outfit sounds perfect. I think the gold sweater and patent pumps will be dressy. Add some pretty earrings, ring (I wonder if a necklace is too much with the gold sweater – hmmm) and a nice clutch, and you sound good to go.

      • AIMS

        Agreed — it sounds lovely.
        I would just add that you should not necessarily aim to blend in with the wives who will be attending. You are there as a member of your firm; however accomplished or lovely your colleagues’ spouses may be, I would not make my goal dressing as they do.

        • NYC

          Interesting point! Thanks so much, corporettes. Good call to bring a clutch and leave my work purse in the car.

        • Midori

          Ditto this. It’s a party, but you still have to consider your “role” at it. If I’m going as “wife” to my husband’s party, I wear a cocktail dress or similar. If I’m going as “employee/lawyer” at my own office party, I wear (as you aptly term it) “festive office” or at least close. Your plan sounds perfect.

    • CC

      Sounds perfect to me. And for me doing my hair nice with extra attention to makeup makes me feel more dressed up, so curling your hair might be a good touch.

    • E

      To piggy back: my office party for a academic surgery department (pretty traditional field — my dad the attorney calls them the litigators of medicine).

      It’s a brunch party at the faculty club on a Saturday. I had planned black tuxedo pants with a red print (small) silk blouse, with a gold/sparkly/pearl necklace for the festive part. Black heels with patent and suede.

      Sound okay? TIA!

  3. CFM

    I need outfit assistance as well! I am a 3L and over winter break will be meeting with an alum of my undergrad who is a partner at a law firm. He has stated he doesn’t know how much help he can be because his firm is deferring everyone but would be happy to meet so I am taking him up on the offer and meeting at his office. Would a suit be overkill? That is usually my go to but it seems a little presumptuous since this is obviously not an interview. As an aside I only have skirt suits because I have never found pants I feel comfortable in. Would a pencil skirt and a sweater be better than a suit?

    Also I will be coming from my plan ride (my parents are picking up my baggage) so any tips on looking fresh and polished after a short plane ride would be great.

    Thanks in advance! And any general advice on things to say/questions to ask would be appreciated (and sorry this question got so long!)

    • AIMS

      I would be inclined to think you could wear a skirt & sweater or button down, especially if the alum knows you are coming from the airport. Keep everything else polished and simple — neat shoes, hair, etc. Even if you are wrong, you’ll get a pass as a law student, most likely. Plus, if this is a man, he likely won’t be as judgmental as some women may tend to be (go ahead & crucify me now, but in my experience men just don’t care as much as long as everything is neat).

      If you do wear a suit, I think skirt is fine, but maybe forego a button down shirt and wear a sweater or something slightly more casual under so as to communicate that while you are professional and taking it seriously, you understand that it’s not an interview.

      For fresh-up points, there were many helpful threads on here before. I would just say carry on your meeting clothes so you don’t worry about getting wrinkled on the plane & drink lots of water to stay hydrated. I am also a huge fan of face misters when I fly. Clinique moisture surge is fantastic for making you look refreshed, I use it during the flight & after I apply make-up to help set the make up & look more natural.

    • AL

      I think a lot of what you’re going to wear depends on where you’re meeting as well. You can always do a blazer and a skirt; it’s not a full on suit but you have a jacket.

      • CFM

        I’m meeting at his office. I always have a little trouble with the blazer and suit, what’s the best way to make it look like I didn’t just wear pieces to two different suits? My favorite pencil skirt is charcoal grey with a really light pinstripe, and I have a plain grey and a black one as well. Suggestions on blazers to wear with those? And AIMS thank you for that advice! I am going to visit the clinique counter soon.

        • AIMS

          Just remember to take a travel size with you or else to pack it in your luggage! TSA will confiscate anything over 4 oz. Good luck!

    • Ana

      I would still wear a suit, keeping in mind that (1) maybe he has expectations, (2) you can’t really overdress when meeting a partner at his firm, and (3) maybe he has more clout, or the firm is doing better, than you think. I always wear suits when meeting with people in these kinds of situations, and while it hasn’t yet landed me a job, I don’t think it’s hurt. And I have heard employers complain about how underdressed “kids” are these days. You don’t want to give that kind of impression. Especially if you’ll be wearing a blazer and pants anyway, you might as well wear a suit. Wear a sweater or blouse underneath instead of a collared shirt (to avoid wrinkles on the flight), and hold or pack your jacket instead of wearing it. You could even pack it in your carry-on and fly in leggings or whatever, then change in the airport bathroom. It doesn’t have to be full interview get-up (heels, pearls, etc. — if that’s what you’d do), but I would dress more along the lines of business-formal than secretary-style (not that that is bad, not that it’s so different from business-casual, etc.). A skirt suit with jacket stored isn’t different from a pencil skirt and sweater, in my opinion, at which point, again, might as well take your attire up a notch.

    • a

      “As an aside I only have skirt suits because I have never found pants I feel comfortable in.”

      I had this same problem. Buy a pant suit whose blazer fits well and the pants fit at what ever point is your largest (i.e. fits at the waist and too big everywhere else or fits at hip and is too big everywhere else). Then get a tailor to fix the pants.

    • 2L

      I just had one of these types of meeting over thanksgiving break. I wore a skirt and blazer with a sweater underneath and still felt overdressed. However, this was a small midwestern firm so I guess my advice would be to dress as you think the attorneys will probably be dressed. Also, FWIW it was a Monday afternoon when I had my meeting.

    • bonnie

      To make your makeup look fresh I’d suggest not wearing any makeup on the plane and taking care of it when you land.

  4. AIMS

    I need outfit help, too!
    Reposting from the news round up —

    Question: weekend all day career-planning, bar function with lots of judges present = I must wear a suit? Or, can I get away with something a wee bit more casual? I suspect I know the answer (suit), but please tell me I am wrong so I can be more comfortable . . . . :)

    • M

      For months I’ve been rocking skinny pants (J. Crew pixies) with an oversized Elizabeth and James blazer. I work with all men, so they see jacket and assume suit (even though the pants are basically leggings.)

      • Anon

        While I love the idea of this outfit, don’t assume your colleagues think it’s a suit. I worked with some of the geekiest men on the planet. My boss ‘rocked’ a pocket protector (in his 40s!), and even he knew when women broke the dress code rules. We had a repeat offender and he never said anything to her until she wore something really bad (red jeans/black blazer in our ‘no jeans any time any where’ office). No way in heck she could pull it off as a suit. She tried to argue they weren’t jeans. Bad scene ensued including her dismissal. There was a lot more to that, but the inappropriate outfit started it off. I’m just saying, don’t assume.

    • NYC

      I think pants/skirt with a blazer would work here. My boss rocks this look and there is something fantastic about it. Still authoritative, but slightly less formal.

    • anon-ny

      on a weekend, I would go with something a step down. More business casual with a blazer that is still professional but not full interview/court room mode.

    • a

      too bad those skinny black cords collect lint – bc those with a blazer would be perfect.

    • AIMS

      Thanks all! Good to have it re-affirmed. Sometimes I like to deceive myself. I think I am going to go either pantsuit (for less formal vibe) or nice blazer & pants/skirt.
      But, I so wish I could get away with something like black cords!!!

      • Lawgirl

        Report back, AIMS! Curious if you take it down a notch after reading the crowd. Full on suits on a Saturday are bleh. I so agree with you!

      • E

        It seems to me that you could pull off slacks with a coordinating blazer in a slightly more comfortable textures — tweed, I’m thinking with solid bottoms, maybe (MAYBE) a boucle.

        Am I wrong?

      • Suze

        Oh, AIMS, I see you in black cords (I got some at AT Loft last year that did NOT collect lint, animal hair and other flotsam/jetsam) with a snappy button front or little sweater/tee and a shrunken blazer (eg, silence + noise) or a even a boucle sweater/short jacket….and the Halle wedges.

        And please do report back :).

  5. Fiona

    Does anyone have recommendations on good products from Kiehl’s, particularly face products? Whenever I’ve tried their stuff I have really like it, but at the store I never know where to even start. Any rec’s? Thanks!

      • Divaliscious11

        Hit reply, too soon. I use several Kiehl’s products. I have combination skin, but in the winter I get very dry. I use Ultra Facial Moisturizer daily. I will sometimes use Abbyssine creme in the day, during the coldest months, and I ADORE Creme D’Elegance and use it at night. I also use the ultra moisturizing eye stick in winter (I use a lighter gel in summer).

        Also love creme de corp body lotion and their creme deodorant!

        • Another Fiona!

          Also with lovely Scotch-Irish skin. I’ve been using Cetaphil for years, and Clinique Moisture Surge. Would love to branch out, but skin get so mad. One summer I developed an allergy to sunscreen and just had to stay inside!

    • jcb

      I use their abyssine eye cream and ultra facial cream and love both. I have sensitive skin and the ultra facial cream is the only thing that keeps my cheeks from turning red in the winter, stays on all day.

      • jcb

        Also, if you go to a stand-alone store, their salespeople are really helpful and will usually give you plenty of samples to try out.

        • AIMS

          I second getting samples first.
          I love a lot of their stuff, but the face stuff didn’t work too well for me. I was a bit disheartened to find this out after spending money on it. FWIW, I had amazing results with Aveda skincare. Maybe try them for samples, too?

        • Divaliscious11

          Or Nordstrom if you have one close by. I don’t use their cleansing products, as I love my Clarisonic and Skinceuticals, but Kiehl’s is totally my next layer!

    • j

      Oh man, I love Kiehl’s stuff. I use the ultra facial cleanser, ultra facial moisturizer (or creme) , the deodorant, and the original musk scent daily. Get a smaller bottle of the moisturizer and then ask the clerk for some samples, they have small packets of everything.

    • Portia

      I used Kiehls for years and the products are lovely. But, have you considered Paula’s Choice (google it)? She’s the cosmetics cop lady. I heard of her years ago but stubbornly refused to buy her products until last month. I’m not exaggerating when I say that hers are the best that I’ve ever used (and I’ve used just about all of the product lines you can find at Nordstrom starting back when I was 16 with that Clinique 3-step program). In less than a week, the results were stellar. I’m 37, fair with sensitive and dry skin. I’m starting to get that adult rosacea and I live in a very dry climate with intense sun exposure. The congestion on my nose, chin, and the few spots on my cheek are all but gone. The redness has subsided, and I’m actually very comfortable going out of the house without make-up. My skin looks better than it did in my 20’s. For $98 I got the following (normal sized) products: cleanser, toner, BHA gel, antioxidant serum, daytime moisturizer with SPF, evening cream. She recommends using a clean wash cloth in the evening, which I now do religiously because it’s made such a big difference. I promise I am not affiliated with her in any way. I just really love the results and want to share because I have spent a small fortune on skin care with less than stellar results. It was a little strange purchasing products without getting to smell them first or feel the texture. But it’s really the best on-a-whim purchase I’ve ever made.

    • E

      Huge Kiehls fan. Sensitive scottish skin, prone to redness. Also very sensitive to certain chemicals, dyes, perfumes, etc. I use:

      -cleansing milk on days that my skin is really raw/sensitive and don’t want to use soap.
      -blue moisturizer: very light, 0.5% salicylates for a little blemish work.
      ultra moisturizer with sunscreen for dry days
      super fluid SPF50 over whatever base layer (had melanoma, don’t want it again)
      Also like the ultrarich panthenol moisturizer when we ski for extra protection.

  6. Divaliscious11

    Cute …but I have a pair of bitten by SJP for $11 at that store that carried her line before it went bankrupt. Totally cute!

    • Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler

      Steve & Barry’s! As a college student making minimum wage I loved them. As a law student paying (the school) to work I deeply mourn them. I got the best LBD from the Bitten line and I will be holding on to it for dear life.

  7. Another Anon

    Anyone have any advice on how to deal with the neverending”Are you dating anyone?/Do you have a boyfriend?” type questions that inevitably pop up at social gatherings? When you’re single & not exactly loving it, they’re not the most fun questions to answer.

    I was at a holiday party last night and found myself answering that question over and over again. When I would answer in the negative, I always got something along the lines of, “Really? But you’re so pretty! I find that hard to belive…” as a response. I know people are trying to be nice, but that reply only makes me feel like there’s something ‘wrong’ with me, if I’m attractive but still manage to be boyfriend-less. I got in my car after the party and cried (a bit overly sensitive of me, I admit).

    I have a few more parties coming up and want to find a way to gracefully handle this question, as it’s not one I’m used to having to answer. Help please?

    • anon

      I know it is annoying when people ask nosy questions like this, but maybe try to look at these situations as an opportunity? If you would rather not be single, these people who are asking you these questions may be able to help. You never know who knows that great single guy that they could set you up with.

    • Anon L

      As someone single and in her (eek) late-20s (and wanting to perhaps get a little closer to settling down in next year or so), just repeat after me, “It’s not a ME problem.” Got it? Good. =) Now, with that said, use this phrase, but perhaps taken down a notch, like “Glad we agree that it’s not me!” (as if to imply, glad we agree my personality/ looks/ etc are not what is keeping me from “coupledom.”)

      • Anon

        My dear, you are still in your late 20s. If had had married anyone I dated in my late 20s, woe would have been me. Sometimes the right one just doesn’t come along until later.

        • KelliJ

          THIS! My hubby and I would not have been ready for each other if we had met in our 20s. I met and married my hubby (and had a baby!) all after 35. Also, enjoy singlehood! There are days I would just love to pack up and go somewhere by myself. ;-)

    • a

      While you might not be loving your singleness, its best to be positive about it – “I’m having fun dating, have found some that screams ‘settle down with me’ yet.” If you have a good/funny dating story that’s a good way to show you are comfortable with your status too.

      anon is also right – you may also end up scoring a successful fix-up from one of those question askers.

      • a

        yes. often at holiday parties a person is just asking to catch up on the basic happenings in someones life over the past year. no need to get catty – for all the question asker knows this girl could be happily dating one person.

      • a

        yes. often at holiday parties a person is just asking to catch up on the basic happenings in someones life over the past year.

      • MelD

        I would probably answer “I’m happily single, why do you ask?” I really am happily single and have no interest in people pitying me or trying to set me up, so I may be a bit aggressive when I get asked those questions. I have no desire to settle down/get married and am definitely at the point where people seem to worry about me.

    • a

      oh – and i’ve been to a depressing wedding where the person clearly just wanted to get married and the couple really was not meant to be. waaaaay more upsetting than being single.

        • Been there, done that...

          Oh I just had this conversation with my hubby’s younger cousins (27 and 31) over Thanksgiving. They were lamenting not having found ‘the one’ yet. As I pointed out, it’s better to find the right one, than settle. It took me until I was 33 to find my hubby, but I’m so happy I waited for him. (I ended my engagement when I was 30 and I know without a doubt that if I married that person I would either be miserable or divorced.) There’s some sort of saying out there (and I’m paraphrasing here) that says who you marry can bring you a lifetime of happiness or misery. So true.

        • Anon

          Or as my Grandmother always said, it may seem you spend a long time looking for the right person to marry, but believe me, you spend a lot longer being married to them.

          • shyanon

            Wow, I like your grandmother. Mine keeps telling me “not to wait too long to start your life.”

            Mind you, I’m 30. Guess the past 30 years didn’t count as “life”?

      • m

        I was IN one of these weddings last year. The wedding itself seemed happy enough, but I always thought the guy was a total jerk. I wondered if she (32) just wanted to get married/piss off her traditional/controlling parents by marrying the opposite of who they wanted for her. Two years later, they are getting a divorce, and it is very upsetting for all involved.

    • Another Anon

      Thanks for the advice ladies. I do manage to answer cheerfully and try to avoid being a ‘downer’. And I should probably try to use this as an opportunity to be set up, as well. It’s just nice to know I’m not the only one fielding this question time after time after time.

      Also, thanks for the reminder that it’s much better to wait for the right one, than it is to settle.

      And I love the “It’s not a ME problem” line. Great reminder.

      • Louise

        And, please, be gentle with yourself. The holidays are a stressful, emotionally fraught time. Any time you’re more emotional, and perhaps hormonal, and feeling like you need to cry, go do something really nice just for you. Really fine chocolate, a massage, a favorite movie on DVD…it’s okay to treat yourself and feel a bit better!

        Having been married at 24, then divorced at 33, then finding the right partner at 35, I will add to the chorus of those who say, “It’s worth the wait.”

      • Anon

        Add me to those who met the right person after a lot of years of unsatisfying dating and my share of sad holidays. I got set up with ALOT of men, had many awful first dates, and finally met the right guy in yet another fix up. We married 15 months after we met (age 35), and now have two fantastic little boys. My personality mellowed alot between my 20s and 30s, and I would not even have liked my husband in my mid-twenties. Hang in there, it will all work out.

    • Anon & single

      A friend reminded me a few days ago that if I’m single, and interested in meeting great men, then it doesn’t hurt to “publicize” that.

      Faced with the question above, maybe the answer is, “No, I’m not seeing anyone right now. Why, do you have some great guy in mind?”

      • UnSub

        I think that is a perfect answer. That’s what I used to do until someone finally said “actually I do.” I married that guy 7 months later. It pays to advertise.

    • Miriam

      If you would like to be set up maybe you can respond with something like “I’m still single, but looking. Do you know of any men who would like to date a gorgeous, successful, amazing woman like myself?” Haha you get the idea. Also, don’t feel bad about it. I know tons a single women…and men actually. Better to be single than with the wrong guy.

  8. Divaliscious11

    Well, it sounds like you are dating, or open to dating, just not dating any one person exclusively. I’d say I am dating, and enjoying it and leave it at that.

    • shyanon

      Also, don’t take it personally. The people asking are likely the same people who will ask exclusive relationship people “So, is it serious? When are you getting engaged?” and married people “So, when are you going to start a family?” Some people just can’t help themselves, and it has nothing to do with you.

      • Anon

        And then, don’t forget that once you have one baby, people continually ask you when you’re going to have another one. There’s never any end to it.

        When my husband and I were trying to get pregnant and got asked constantly if we had kids/why we didn’t have kids, there were many nights I got into the car and cried. It’s not the same situation, I know, but I think it is analogous. My husband finally started telling people “not yet, but we’re having fun trying!” (even though that was pretty far from the truth by the end of the process) I think a response of “I’m having fun playing the field” or “still looking, and having a damn good time doing it” can allow you to give an honest answer, that is not too detailed, and doesn’t make you look like you’re lovelorn or otherwise unhappy. I agree with others who have said this is just what some people consider “making conversation” although, by this point, couldn’t we all talk about good movies we’ve seen lately, or our favorite TV shows, or the worst Christmas present we ever got? It seems like pretty much everyone has a sensitive spot about something that ends up getting probed in the name of “small talk” and it would be a hell of a lot more entertaining to talk about movies anyway. :)

      • anon for this

        As an aside, I’ve learned that “when are you starting a family?” is a very rude question. We’ve been unsuccessfully trying for a while and it breaks my heart whenever I’m asked that question.

        • Eponine

          It’s also rude because it implies that a husband and wife are not a family until they also have a child. You had a family the second you two got married! I’d just respond that “Husband and I are already a family” and leave it at that.

          • kellyn

            THAT is a wonderful response to a very rude, awkward question. People can be so ignorant!

          • Amy H.

            That’s a great response, and probably much less brutal than my usual answer to questions like this — “Oh, I loathe children. Not having any. Ever.”

  9. Bridget

    It sucks to get those questions. The key is to make your response cheery enough that no one feels the need to respond/reassure you (rather than letting them know it bothers you — that’s what makes it awkward. Then IMMEDIATELY move off the topic of you. Something like “Enjoying the single life these days! Now, tell me about those lovely shoes you’re wearing.”

    • Louise

      Yes! Deflect and distract by changing the subject. This is the same technique used to control toddlers, so you can amuse yourself with that comparison.

  10. Lynnet

    I’m hoping someone can help me with a kind of odd job search question. I’m a 3L, and in addition to all the legal jobs I’m applying to I’ve applied to a non-law entry-level job in my dream industry (publishing). I’m planning on calling the HR department for one of the companies to see if the position has been filled. If it has, do you think it would be appropriate to ask if they have any openings in their legal department? I’ve been checking their jobs website once every few months for the last three years and I’ve never seen a legal job posted there, but I know they have a legal department. Even if they don’t hire new graduates, someone might be willing to grant me an informational interview, which would be invaluable. I just don’t know if it’s ok to apply to express interest in both legal and non-legal positions in the same company.

    • Lynnet

      Sorry, that should be “the company” not “one of the companies.” Finals are turning my brain to mush.

      • AIMS

        I think it is perfectly fine, as long as you do so under the general guise of “I just really want to work in this industry/I love your company.”

        Good luck with it & with finals!!!

    • shyanon

      Hmm. Interesting question. My initial reaction is that expressing interest in both sort of says “I still don’t know what I want to do with my life”…it may be best to stick to one position per company applied to…

    • anon

      I don’t think it be bad to ask HR if the position hasn’t been filled if you can get legal interview.

      Are willing to work in the non-legal side forever? If so, just make that clear if/when every you get a non legal entry level interview. Its an entry level job, so they can’t be expecting you’ll to keep it forever. And that could be why no legal jobs get posted – people get promoted from within or get recruited through other internal ties.

      • Lynnet

        Thanks everyone. I think I’ll probably ask, while stressing how much I like the company/industry.

    • legalbeagle

      I know I’m gonna get attacked for this but please stick with the publishing job if it is your dream job. There are enough people out there who actually want to be lawyers who are struggling to find employment.

      • Anon

        I kinda agree. Why not wait and see if you are going to get your dream at least?

      • o

        Ugh, that’s like telling someone rich who won the lottery on a whim to please not collect the winnings becuase there are many people out there who really want to win the lottery.

        I think your mentality is self serving only.

        And to OP, often the HR person is not someone who thinks that you need to stick to one position. Maybe if the person who interviews you asks then you can have a problem, but there’s no harm in asking the HR person.

      • Lynnet

        The publishing industry is one of the few industries that is worse off than the legal industry, so I’m sure that anyone trying to break into publishing would say I should leave publishing to the people who don’t have any other choices and focus on legal jobs.

        I’ve spent the last three years planning to go into IP, only to discover it’s practically impossible to get an IP job in this economy if you’re not qualified to take the patent bar. That, combined with the fact that I’ve also been reading every publishing industry publication and blog I can find “for fun” for the last several years, led me to think that I might as well take the chance when I saw a non-law position open up with one of my favorite imprints.

        • i'm nobody

          I was going to say just this. My husband has worked in publishing for 15+ years; it’s been bad for several years now, and just keeps getting worse.

  11. Nicey

    Does anyone have advice for negotiating government salaries? Is it even possible?

    The job in question is not my dream job, but it’s one I’d be happy to have and could probably be a stepping stone to where I want to be. At the same time, I’m concerned that a low starting salary might limit my options for switching positions (plus general cost-of-living concerns in a very expensive area).

    The idea of going back and asking for more makes me nauseous, but I’d really like to be able to pay the rent…

    • anon

      I have never heard of a federal government position where you could negotiate salary. Its set in stone (or the gs pay scale). If its an attorney position your salary is usually moved up the scale fairly quickly though.

    • anon

      I was just in this situation a year ago, for a federal government position. The salary they offered was about 10K less than my salary + bonus (and since I had gotten the same bonus every year for the past 3 years, I considered it to be part of my salary, although I’m not a lawyer so it wasn’t a BigLaw level bonus). I managed to get the salary + bonus figure as my current salary. I may have been able to try for more, but chickened out. Not sure how it is with you, but all my salary negotiations were carried out with someone in HR, not with my supervisor or anyone else I work with on a daily basis; in fact, I’ve never actually seen the HR person in real life. So it was a little easier to negotiate with someone I didn’t feel that worried about making a good impression on.

      So I think you should be able to at least break even. Be ready to provide W2 or end of year paychecks to document your salary. Oh, my supervisor also managed to get me a higher rate of vacation accruement based on previous work experience (I didn’t even have to ask, she just did it for me), so that might be an area for negotiation, too.

      • anon

        Same anon at 6:21 — I just wanted to add that the salary I ended up with was within the grade range for the position. I think it covered 3 grades, and I ended up at the upper end of the middle grade. You might as well try to get as high as you can within the position’s range, because after that advancement and pay raises go only by the schedule.

        Of course, in these times of using federal employees as pawns for budget woes, all bets are off.

    • LL

      If you have a “competing offer” they can match that offer. When I came to the government, my old employer provided a letter to my Agency with my then-current salary and the Agency matched it. I was hired as a contractor on a 2 year contract before being “direct hired” into a ‘real’ position some months later.

    • Frump

      If you’re going for a GS position, you might be able to negotiate what ‘step’ you come in at, based on your education/if you have any specialized background. I’d ask your recruiter/HR rep/POC about step negotiating.

    • rg

      Is it Federal or something else? Federal salaries are pretty regimented, but you can often negotiate what ‘step’ you start at within your broader GS level or whatever other Federal scale they are on (a friend of mine did this successfully recently). State and municipal salaries are probably more variable. For my state job, there is a range allowed for every position level. For budget reasons, they were offering the mid of the range for my position. I used comparisons to federal jobs and private sector jobs to negotiate to be in the upper end of the range. I was honest and said that the job very much interested me, and I understood the current budget constraints. At the same time, I indicated what I had been looking at in other positions, and the hiring manager was receptive to doing what she could.

    • Nicey

      Thanks for the help so far ladies. It is a GS position, and since it’s my first “real” job, I don’t have any competing offers, unfortunately.

      A few follow-ups:
      Is rapid advancement on the scale common for non-lawyers? I’ve heard something to that effect before, but it’s not something I’d want to bet on.

      How does advancement between steps/levels work? Can you advance more than one step at a time? Since the levels overlap, what’s the advantage of being a level x, step y instead of level x-1, step y+4 when the x-1 position pays more?

      I feel like a total ignoramus for all these questions, but all of this is very new to me. I’m fighting the impulse to just take what’s offered because it would be better for the organization/HR person/etc – I have to look out for me, too, right?

      Again, thanks for any help you can offer.

      • rg

        This is based on the experiences of friends and colleagues rather than my own, but my understanding is that the difference between gs levels is functional. In other words, there are certain roles that cannot be filled at lower GS levels, so starting higher could mean more opportunities government-wide. And FWIW, GS-14 is completely discretionary meaning you will never automatically be promoted to it. It’s a managerial level, and you have to be selected to it. Steps within a level are more or less just based on experience, but there may be flexibility within offices/agencies. I don’t think it’s unreasonable to ask HR or your manager about thow that works.

        The OPM has some guidelines: http://www.opm.gov/qualifications/policy/ApplicationOfStds-04.asp

        It’s probably also worth looking into your agency’s specific qualification guidelines for various levels and steps. Also, look at what jobs are offered at what levels, that might give you an idea of advancement opportunities.

      • Guest

        I was a non-attorney federal employee before law school. In two years I think I moved up a couple of steps…or maybe a grade, I don’t remember (I didn’t come in expecting it, so it was a big plus for me.). I think, for numbers sake, I came in at about $38,000 and left right about $51,000 or so before overtime of course (overshare much…yes I do). That included the above step changes and some cost of living adjustments.

        Frankly, it was pretty great for me…and it’s probably a more rapid increase then most private sector jobs.

        Hope this helps…have NO idea if this is standard.

        • Anonymous

          Depends on the agency and office. I have been part of the hiring team (but not HR) within a federal agency.

          We have argued within HR for a higher step (within a grade) for a new hire. Prior salary alone isn’t sufficient justification; the request must be combined with a rationale (exceptional skills or experiences justifies higher than “entry” step). You can support that request by noting why you think you deserve more than step 1.

          Most positions have grade ladders. We’ve typically hired a 9, 11, or 12 into a position with a ladder to a 14. While step increases (within grade) are somewhat automatic based on a good performance appraisal, step increases are not. At one point, you couldn’t move up a grade without at least one year in the next lowest grade. That policy was temporarily suspended, but I believe it is back to one year minimum. However, you can move up almost every year, depending on the job and agency.

          With federal salaries frozen for the next two years – or so it appears – negotiate the best step/grade you can get.

          • Nicey

            I’d heard rumors about the pay freeze elsewhere, too, so it’s good to have that confirmed (and I’ll definitely be keeping that in mind).

            Upon further checking, it turns out that the position is actually on pay bands, not GS, which I’m hoping gives more wiggle room. Looking at the GS levels was really helpful, though, as it confirmed that a) the salary offered is low and b) my expectations were realistic. Fingers crossed that this’ll work out well.

            Thanks again for the help, all!

  12. SCS

    Wool Sweaters: I love them, but they always leave a mess on the shirt I’m wearing underneath. Obviously, I can use a lint roller to get rid of the mess. But is there anything I can “do” to my wool sweaters to keep them from leaving their calling cards behind on my shirts in the first place? Any “treatment” suggestions? Thanks!

  13. ChickintheStix

    Do you know anything about starting a scholarship? My husband and I want to start a scholarship fund for local HS grads in our rural community who intend to study music in college. I’m aware of no local scholarship for music study. Having saved the money for this purpose, I’d like to make it a reality, but I’m baffled about where to begin. Any ideas, lovelies?

    • CFM

      No ideas, just wanted to say how nice of you. I know how much scholarships I got meant to me when going to college, they can make a world of difference in someone’s life.

    • SF Bay Associate

      No idea, but I’d really love to know what you figure out. I want to eventually set up a scholarship that helps kids who grew up in the same poor, dangerous urban zip code I did pay for college. It’s a long way from that environment to where I am now, so I’d like to help others on their road too. Please report back!

    • Anon in FL

      Is there a school in your state that has a decent music program? If so, you may want to call them to see about setting up a scholarship. You should be able to set the parameters for the scholarship- like you want it to be need-based and given to the people in your local community. My mom set up a scholarship on behalf of her parents. The school invests the money and picks the most qualified applicant for the scholarship. Each year she gets a little folder with a biography of the student who won the scholarship.

    • Lynnet

      Is there only one HS in your community? If so, you might be able to offer it through the HS, or through the HS music program. I know I got scholarships through both of those avenues.

      I think it’s great that you’re doing this. My scholarships made a world of difference to me, the extent of which I’m only starting to realize as I enter the real world with far less debt than my peers.

    • Another Sarah

      The school should be able to help you out with the requirements. A group of us started a memorial scholarship fund after one of our friends and her son were killed in an accident. So, if a bunch of 20-year-olds with $20 each can do it, it can’t be too hard. I remember the school’s requirement for it to be self-funding was a starting capital of $50,000, and then the school would maintain the ‘fund’ and the scholarship would be paid out of the interest that it gains every year. Your school might be different. You can make the requirements for the scholarship pretty much whatever you want, make he voting/selection process however you want, etc. For our fund, my friend’s parents and a couple of the girls who started the fund select the recipient based on nominations from teachers and administrators looking at the criteria we set.

      To start, I think we talked to the school’s development people…

      Good luck!! :-D

    • Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler

      This may be a little too basic, but why not start a charitable trust?

    • Anonymous

      Also check out your local/state community foundation. They are often experts in setting up these kinds of funds and saves you the expense of a charitable trust.

  14. ANON2L

    Hi ladies, I have a law school related question for you:

    What are your feelings about students participating in legal clinics during law school? Are these positions generally looked upon favorably when you are reviewing resumes or discussing a student’s background (in a mentoring/networking situation)? The clinics at my school are very competitive to get into, and thus the students’ perceptions are that these are very valuable opportunities. I was recently accepted into the civil litigation clinic for next semester. While I am convinced that this will be a great opportunity for me, I’m looking to verify whether the value of the clinic is shared by practicing attorneys.

    • Practitioner

      Absolutely, 100%, do a clinic if you’re able. There’s nothing as valuable to the real (post-law school) world as actual experience.

      • K

        I agree 100%. The clinic I did during 2L led directly to a full-semester externship during 3L that got me the job I have today. I think some kind of clinic/internship/other work experience should be a requirement for graduation, actually.

        Congrats on your acceptance to the clinic, and I hope you love it!

    • Law Firm Hiring Manager

      Clinics provide great practical experience. Ideally, you’d participate in a clinic that’s related to the type of law you ultimately hope to practice. (For example, participation in some clinics might signal to Biglaw that you plan to pursue a career in non-profits after you pay off your law school loans.) The civil litigation clinic would be a big selling point at most firms. Congratulations!

    • Another Sarah

      Not a practicing attorney, but my time at the Clinic at my school was one of the most eye-opening experiences of law school. It was amazing (and terrifying) to be able to be completely responsible for an actual person’s livelihood. But I’m sooooo amazingly glad that I got that experience in law school with someone watching my back and not practicing with just my malpractice insurance to protect me. Some of my professors thought clinics were a waste of time, but those professors are the ones that never really practiced before they went into academia (or would only practice for the people who wouldn’t use the Clinic’s services anyway), so take that for what you will. :-D

    • Lyssa

      In theory, absolutely yes.

      In reality, in the present job market (I graduated in 2009), I’m not so sure. Now, it gave me some things to talk about in the interview, and it gave me great experience that I wouldn’t have been able to get anywhere else, so I’d still say go do it. However, I did not find that it seemed to help me in the interview processes at all. Employers didn’t, say, seem perk up or express great interest at my experiences on it, and, well, I didn’t have much success in the job search (so, I guess the same lukewarm review in terms of things to help you in the job market could be given about acing your writing classes, being on law review, being in the top 10% of the class, having pre-law school work experience, and being a judicial clerk. Sigh, it sucks out there right now.)

      I’ll quit whining now.

      • Anony

        I agree. Unless you’re able to work in a specialized field that you want to practice in, that sets you apart from everyone else and that is all over your resume. Everyone does pro bono criminal defense clinics, so one of those doesn’t set you apart. For example, I worked at a bankruptcy court for our externship program. Also worked in one this summer, have a bankruptcy scholarship, bankruptcy publication, bankruptcy bankruptcy bankruptcy… You get the idea. It really helps to show such interest and focus. Granted, I can’t get a job in any other area, but oh well. I’m happy.

        • ali

          “Everyone does pro bono criminal defense clinics, so one of those doesn’t set you apart.”
          Ugh, obnoxious and untrue.

          • stc

            No kidding. We had maybe 20 spots total in our school for criminal defense-Innocence Project and a Tribal defense project. So yeah, not everyone did them. I loved the array of choices-Federal Income Tax, Unemployment (mine!), Child Advocacy, Bankruptcy, etc. And they gave me something to talk about in interviews, a real world writing sample (redacted names), and I think it was helpful for me in getting my current job. I wasn’t on a journal, though, which would have helped me as well.

    • j

      I just wrapped up a semester in a clinic (I’m a 3L) and it was fantastic experience. Along with our client work, we had a lot of local attorneys and other professionals related to the field (small business) come in and discuss related issues, and they all held the experience in very high regard. My state has a very close-knit legal community and my clinic helped me make a lot of connections. LOTS of work, but very fun.

      I also think that unless the clinic is interfering with your other activities (journal, moot court, classes), you should relish the experience regardless of how it’s received in the larger community. You have the opportunity many of your classmates don’t – live it up (by working hard and keeping your eyes open).

    • 2L NYC

      I am really excited about my clinic too, but this was my impression from the people I interviewed with — basically two camps:
      1. Most (especially younger attorneys), LOVED their own clinic experience and recommended it for others — it was definitely valued, especially other people from my law school.
      2. Some (more older attorneys, many partners actually) thought that the clinic experience was a waste of time, and that the most important part was learning substantive law in law school — i.e. Secured Transactions, Trademark Law. In the same vein, these people generally valued seminars less, and particularly scoffed at classes ending in “and the Law” (e.g. Shakespeare and the Law)

      • Another Sarah

        I got that impression as well from my own professors and attorneys I worked with – the split camp. I think the divide comes from the generational gap in law school mentalities. I’ve noticed that more recently more law schools have shifted focus slightly to more service-oriented things. Not like a shift in specializations from commercial – public interest, but little things, like student organizations being very encouraged to provide service projects, to remind students that the law is really a “service” profession. I know some schools now have a mandatory public service hours requirement for graduation. The younger attorneys would be more in tune to things like Clinics as a result, and the older attorneys would have graduated before this started.

        Just my impression, could be wrong… But I still think you should do the Clinic. If you have fabulous grades in all the right classes, then you’re already doing the right stuff. :-D

    • JessC

      I think it depends a little bit on your school’s clinic program and your local legal community. FWIW, my school’s clinic program was known for being really great and for sending students to not just agency’s in our county, but in the 2-3 counties surrounding. The clinic program had also been going strong for well more than a decade when I participated in it.
      I think it also depends a little on what kind of office you’re applying to. The most competitive clinics at my school were for the prosecutor’s and public defender’s offices. My experience having interviewed in those type of offices is that they look on clinic experience very favorably. I’ve even been told that some prosecutor/PD offices won’t interview new grads who don’t have clinic experience. I’m not sure how interviewers in the civil sector look at it though, so YMMV.

    • M

      I think they can be a great experience and well worth it, especially if you are planning on staying in the area around your law school. I did a consumer protection clinic, and my supervisor really went out of her way to help students in her section find jobs. Unfortunately she was not familiar with my region, but she was able to help my clinic partner get a job about a month after graduation. That said, I think foreclosure is obviously a big area now, so getting experience there can be invaluable.

      I work in healthcare/disability law now and know the local legal aid clinic supervising professor who often opposes my agency is also supposed to be great at helping students in the clinic find advocacy jobs if that interests them. Again, it’s a more specialized area of law so I don’t know how a more general civil litigation clinic would necessarily be as helpful as the specialized clinics.

    • Blondie

      I learned so much doing clinic and rely on what I learned today in practice. I actually got real courtroom experience through clinic and because of that, I am the only first year allowed to go to Court unsupervised at my firm.

      That said, clinic took up a TON of time. I had a part time job I couldn’t quit (financial necessity and possible post grad job) and I had hard classes at the same time. I found clinic often conflicted with school. I even had Court the morning of a final and the Registrar had to get my final rescheduled. It was all VERY stressful and I spent a few nights crying about how I could never get it all done.

      That alone really prepared me for the realities of a busy law practice. I recommend it but try to take easier classes or set up your schedule to allow time to really properly manage your cases.

      • ANON2L

        Wow, thanks for the wonderful feedback, everyone! Lots of good points/things to think about. It didn’t occur to me that I could use this opportunity for a writing sample. I will definitely keep that in mind because I still don’t have on that I think is really top notch. You ladies are fabulous!

        • JessC

          Just make sure you ask your supervisor if it’s ok for you to keep a copy for your personal use. If they say yes, they may ask you to edit/redact some information depending on the nature of the writing. But otherwise, a great idea – I got a few of best writing samples for interviews from my clinic experience (they were responses to motions to dismiss – bonus points because not only did I write them, I also argued them!).

    • Anonymous

      Even if it does not help you to get a job, real practice experience will help you to keep one. Definitely worth it.

    • MLB

      I find that students who have done legal clinics generally have something to talk about in the interview that other students don’t. That’s a plus all by itself, even if the experience isn’t all that relevant to the job you ultimately seek. Just make sure you keep good mental notes about your experiences that might be good conversation starters or interview conversations later on.

    • Valerie @ City|Life|Eats

      My experience with clinics (I did a year-long one that was very prestigious at my school) is that they are generally considered a positive. I have many classmates who leveraged their clinic experience directly into jobs. In my experience it was more of a neutral to a positive – it would come up in interviews, but people were much more interested in my semester-time and summer experiences as I worked for two regulators for the area of practice I wanted to go into – so, because I had such directly relevant experience to positions I was interviewing for, the clinic would not be as much of a source of interest as it could have been. That said – I always got the impression that people I interviewed with either had done a clinic themselves or viewed them as valuable as, while it did not get much discussion time in interviews, it was always a good thing to have done.

  15. Cat

    I had asked about Kate Spade Halle sizing a few days ago — my pairs arrived today. I usually take a 7 and the 7 fit best (I wore heels all day, so my feet were slightly puffy from that). Now they will be under the tree for a bit!

  16. Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler

    I want to buy these shoes (http://bit.ly/hnlSKb) for New Year’s Eve, but they are a little more than I’d want to spend on one-time shoes. So my question is, would these be work appropriate?

    If yes, I would consider wearing them under some gray slacks and maybe also with a black sheath dress. Any other outfit ideas would be greatly appreciated. Thanks ladies (and trolls for keeping it interesting).

    • Bonnie

      I wear colored shoes to work all the time with more conservative pieces for a pop of color. My only hesitation with these is that they look like evening shoes. If they’re shiny they may look odd with business clothing.

    • Happy Feet

      I would wear them to work with slacks. They’re fun. Have you tried them on and worn them around the store? The one pair of Lela Rose shoes I have purchased I wore in a wedding.

      They were pure agony – the only shoes I have ever thrown in the trash after one wearing. All the bridesmaids dumped them within half an hour of the ceremony’s completion – they couldn’t even carry us through the reception!

      • Lola

        I agree with Happy Feet – They’d look great with long slacks, because really, the toe is really the only part that’s seen, and I think these are fine if they’re not shiny.

        I also once threw away a pair of bridesmaid shoes in the church nursery/dressing room wastebasket after the ceremony. The bride had wisely given us all bejeweled flipflops to wear to the reception. One of the other bridesmaid’s boyfriends found the shoes I threw away, and accused me of wasting good shoes. I told him to try them on. About 5 seconds of him trying to walk around in 4″ heels, some good laughs, a flash of a camera, and they were back in the trash.

  17. Anonymous

    Help me find this item: I’m looking for a heavy-knit cable cardigan, probably front open and somewhat long, with interesting cabling/shaping in the back–I see everyone wearing these with skinny jeans and tall boots, but haven’t found any. Ideas anyone?

  18. Anon3

    Anyone have any slimming down for an event advice? I am going on a Christmas trip with my family in two weeks, and have put on a bit of weight these past few months, and the jeans and skirts I’d like to bring along are snug. Any advice? Thanks!

    • Anon

      Cut out sugar, dairy (except cultured like yogurt), refined carbs, processed food, diet products and anything that causes you gas or bloating.

    • houda

      Aim for 45 minutes cardio daily and drink PLENTYof water.
      Increase intensity of workout every 3 days and plan one day off per week.
      If you do drink it, cut the soda, stop munching between meals and if you can try to have home cooked meals instead of processed food.
      If you take 3 daily meals with 2 snacks, you should have enough energy.
      Separately, it helps a lot to have a training buddy – why not someone who is also travelling with you, or a friend who started new years resolutions…)
      Best of luck and enjoy your trip

    • mbs

      Don’t eat anything after 7:00pm, and eat healthy the rest of the day. Exercise as soon as you get up, before eating, and again when y0u get home, again before eating. I did just those two things, plus cutting out all snacks, and lost 8 pounds in 2 weeks.

    • Anon

      Lots of protein, cut carbs down to the barest level you can without going crazy. Cut out alcohol. Work out every day. I use the steam room after I work out – not in a crazy way, just for about 15 minutes or so – and it tends to help both with muscle soreness from daily workouts and water balance in my body. Just by doing that you should be able to drop enough weight so your clothes will fit better. Good luck.

    • Anonymous

      1. There is only so much weight you can lose in two weeks without resorting to starvation. Depending on your starting size, 1-2 pounds a week is usually realistic. Two weeks just is not enough time to lose a ton of weight, so be realistic about what you want to achieve.

      2. It does not matter when you eat, and what you eat has very little relevance as long as you stick to a simple formula: CALORIES IN VS. CALORIES OUT. You want to expend more than you take in. That is the only way to lose weight. It’s simple science. Obviously, some foods have greater nutritional value, and others (proteins, complex carbs) will make you feel full longer than simple sugars. But it’s still about CALORIES IN VS. CALORIES OUT.

      3,000 fewer calories taken in equals one pound lost. So try to burn 500 calories a day exercising–about 5 miles of running or 45 minutes of stairmaster. Assuming you have a basal caloric burn of 1,800/day (very average, people deviate), then you would want to take in 1,800 calories a day. With the 500 calorie a day burn you would lose 1 pound (3,000 calories) in 6 days.

      You really can’t do much in two weeks without exercising and reasonably restricting your food.

    • Eponine

      In two weeks you’ll mostly lose bloat and at most two to four pounds. I’d recommend cutting down on salt (most people eat way more than the recommended 2000mg sodium per day), carbonated beverages, and processed food (which has a ton of sodium). I’d also cut out anything you eat when you are not hungry, all sugary beverages including juice, and sugary desserts (fruit for dessert is fine). Make sure you drink plenty of water. If you get hungry, try to eat foods that are high in fiber to fill up and stay full. Try to do cardio for 45 minutes every day. You should drop a couple pounds, plus bloat.

      If you count calories, if you can burn 500 calories more than you eat per day, you’ll lose one pound per week. If you can burn 1000 calories more than you eat per day, you’ll lose two pounds.

      • Another Anon

        South Beach Diet, Phase One. Sucks but works. No sugar, but no starving.

  20. Anon

    Cut out sugar.
    Jackie Warner recommends no more than 9 grams of sugar per serving in your food.

    I lost 10 lbs in 3 weeks doing this; portion control; and drinking water with lemon first thing in the morning. And I had 2 “cheat” meals on the weekends.

    I got REALLY close to Kashi products during this time, lol. It’s been 3 months since I did this and I’ve only gained 2 lbs as my tastebuds can’t handle sweets anymore!

    • Anonymous

      I completely agree. I was a sugar and sweets-aholic and since basing my diet on her plan (4 protein servings, 2 fruit, 3 veggies, 2 carbs and 1 fat) I am not only stuffed but am losing weight and now don’t crave sugar at all. I also feel a million times better despite being unable to exercise due to a back and leg injury.

  21. Julia

    When have you known it was time to take a risk/change jobs?

    My current firm is good. I like the people, its a good vibe, fairly good lifestyle balance, its mostly interesting work. I junior for two partners. I work really well with one (probably work for him 1/3 of the time) and it is very hit or miss with the other (the other 2/3 of my work is with him). We just have different styles and some days I find it infuriating, other times I am able to appreciate the learning experience despite the frustrations. If I worked for the first partner full time, I probably would be much less inclined to explore my options. In fact, even now I am certainly not actively looking for work elsewhere.

    That said, I happened upon an opportunity recently. The pay is slightly better, its a different city (I am ok with moving), the billable targets are similar, the work sounds rewarding if a little less “exciting” in some respect. Less exciting probably also translates to fewer Saturdays worked, however.

    I’m just having a hard time with whether I should pursue this opportunity. If I was miserable, I absolutely would. But I’m not. I’m just not 100% happy, and am somewhat hankering for a change (I’m in year 3). I’m extremely conservative so the unknown is generally very troubling to me, and I’m not sure how to know if I am ready for a change or how to evaluate this new opportunity.

    So, any words of wisdom? I’d really to hear how you knew (or didn’t know!) that a change was for the better.

    • Anon

      I second this question. Debating a cross country move where I am happy (in law) and husband is not (different career) and thinks he wants to persue a new career where we would have more of a social network (many friends lived in the new proposed area.) But, I’m happy, and I’m scared to move b/c so many lawyers aren’t happy.

    • Anon for this one

      I’m pretty much in the same boat. Have been at my firm for a little over a year, and in general think it’s fine for the short term but not the best long term fit for me. I’m getting to be a mid-level (clerked for two years), and am not sure when I should be looking to switch jobs and/or firms. Hubby and I are also contemplating a cross-country move (east coast to bay area) and don’t want to put that off indefinitely. So no words of wisdom, but I’m right there with you ;)

    • MJ

      I have moved cross country before/changed firms before and I’d consider the following:

      Ask to talk to other laterals at the firm and hear about their experience. I have seen laterals get absolutely crushed in layoffs at firms in the past year or so because they’re new, and everyone circles the wagons around home-grown folks. Try to understand exactly who you’d be working for and whether that person would take you under his/her wing at the new opportunity, or whether you’d be in a “pool” of attorneys. There’s still hours-hoarding going on some places, and you’d want to be aware of that before you leap.

      Do you have friends or a social network in the new city? Don’t underestimate how hard it is to make a life outside of biglaw when you move somewhere new. Ask whether the associates from the firm hang out.

      Have you spoken with some good headhunters in the same geography you live now? This isn’t really a binary option–stay at current firm or move cross country–the third alternative is finding a firm you like near where you live. However, if you feel like you’d like to shake up your whole life, then a move faraway might be a good idea!

    • Julia

      MJ – very good advice. I have a few good friends in that city (I did my undergrad there, actually) and some other friends and family about 2 hours away. I also golf and play tennis, and have typically had good success meeting new people that way.

      I am going to be in the area for a wedding in early january, so I am going to have drinks with another lawyer at my level in the department I’d be working in. She is not a lateral, though. I am going to try and figure out the mentorship side of things because that is very important to me. I want to be good at what I do, and working closely with a good senior is extremely important to me!

      Still confused, but hopefully starting to ask the right questions!

      • Laura

        Completely agree with MJ’s comment about having a network in the new city. It’s important to have and easy to overlook when weighing the options.

        I knew a woman who loved her job but tried to interview at least once a year just to expand her network and keep her skills fresh (she wasn’t in law, and I realize this might have different implications there than in her field, which was service related).

        My thought would be that applying for a job doesn’t mean accepting a job. I’ve found that sometimes it takes really pursuing an option to decide whether or not it’s something I want to do. It isn’t always easy to tell at the outset.

  22. anon

    can I take a minute to rant about being female? I’m packing for an interview I need to fly to. I’m looking at the makeup and hair products I theoretically need to look my best. I’m looking at the 1-quart bag allowed to me by the TSA. No way it’s going to fit. No way. I could check a bag, but then I have to pay, and all this stuff happily fits in my carryon. Sigh. You know a man has never had a hard time fitting his liquid travel size stuff into a 1-quart bag, nor would he ever need make up or hair products to be considered presentable at an interview. sometimes I just hate being female.

    • Ellen

      Don’t go overboard, sister! You need to be proud to be a woman! You have the power! You have the look! Cheer up and get that job! That way you can be your own person! Just don’t let the TSA guy goose you!

    • K

      Can you FedEx the stuff you need to your hotel (or wherever you’ll be staying on the other end)? I completely sympathize… the 1-quart bag just isn’t big enough!

    • CCID

      Just to play devils advocate, when a man gets a blemish or zit, he has no way of covering it up. Plus its nice not to have to shave our face :) But I completely sympathize and run into that problem all the time.

    • Anonymous

      Just take two one quart bags. No one is paying attention to who puts what in what bins. I always do this. Never had an issue.

      • Lola

        Brilliant. Never thought of this.

        I suppose there is a slight risk, because if they do find out, technically you’re supposed to only have one bag per person, so they might trash one bag.

        But I’m with you – I doubt they’d ever know.

        • reg

          If I were doing this, I’d probably put all of my cheaper liquids (toothpaste, shampoo, etc.) into the same bag. That way, if they forced you to throw one bag away, you wouldn’t have to throw out your good stuff.

      • Blondie

        Good thinking! Make sure the second bag is in a second bin too. My husband never takes a bag so when we travel together he carries one for me and I carry one too (assuming we are not checking luggage.)

    • Kaye

      I never put my makeup into a ziplock bag. I think technically a lot of it counts as “liquids” – probably mascara, maybe lipstick, but definitely not eyeshadows. Anyway, never had a problem with putting all my makeup into my makeup bag and not taking it out.

      Go buy some travel-sized bottles or mini-jars. You need very little face cream, shampoo etc. for a few days – using those little jars does the trick.

      The only problem is with stuff like hairspray. No advice there.

      Also, if you stack carefully, you can fit a LOT of stuff into those 1-quart bags.

      • Ann

        See, I got totally busted by the TSA at my home airport for doing this. The obnoxious guy gave me a choice of either throwing out the makeup (it was all either MAC or Laura Mercier, not going to happen) or making room in the one-quart bag I had for the mascara, lipstick, lipgloss, concealer and my damn cream-to-powder foundation which was in a compact – how is that a liquid. I ended up throwing out my contact solution and cramming everything into the bag which of course broke in transit and I had to get another one. Since then I ALWAYS put my makeup in the “liquids” bag.

        This is what drives me crazy about the TSA. Random enforcement of rules.

        • Lola

          Before the Thanksgiving holiday, I heard that one of the TSA strategies was unpredictable enforcement of the rules. If that’s true, it’s frustrating, but on purpose.

          (I’m not sure if I believe that it’s on purpose, though. It may just be hard to get all the guards in all the airports consistent.)

        • m

          I had never even thought to put the cream-to-powder foundation, lipsticks, or any other things non-liquidy in the bags. I’m glad you said this. All of that can get so expensive. I’ll be careful in the future. Yikes!

        • K

          I was so annoyed by this over Thanksgiving – I was flying home with a bagful of stuff from Penzeys Spices, all of which was dried herbs/powders except for one jar of chicken soup base (it is a paste-like consistency so it honestly never occurred to me that TSA might have a problem with it). They confiscated the soup base, and when I got to my gate, I realized that I’d never taken my 1-quart liquids bag out of my purse for separate scanning and the TSA agent never noticed (or just plain didn’t care)! Really gives me confidence in airport security…

          • Laura

            I had a friend who was stopped with pocket knife and pepper spray in her purse, but the only think TSA took was pesto she wanted to bring home to her grandma. Who knew pesto was a liquid?

            I think enforcement also depends on where you’re flying. I’ve found that smaller airports tend to be much stricter than the larger ones (the exception being D.C. airports, which I’ve also found to be really strict).

  23. Anon23

    Any tips for preventing sore wrists after a couple 13 hour days typing almost the entire time? I have a wrist pad and what I think is an ergonomic set up. I think part of the problem is time spent scrolling my mouse too.

    • Eponine

      Yoga wrist exercises. Hold up your arms bent at a 90 degree angle in front of you and make fists. Rotate your wrists in little circles. Then switch directions. Do this for 30-60 seconds every hour or so and it should help a lot.

    • Louise

      Agree with Eponine, and would add:

      Hold your arm straight out, pull your fingers back with the other hand, as if you are signalling “Stop!” to someone. Hold the stretch for three slow, deep breaths. Repeat on other hand. Then do the same exercise bending your wrist down instead of up. You should feel these stretches in your forearms.

      I had the onset of repetitive strain injury in both wrists while working as a publisher. My wrists were starting to burn as I worked. These exercises, 2-3 times a day, fixed me right up.

      Bonus: the slow, deep breaths also relax the rest of your body and your brain, so it makes for a nice break in the work day. I also used the time as a reminder to drink a bottle of water. The whole thing (stretch, breathe, water) took only 5 minutes.

    • mbs

      Get one of those squishy stress balls, and squeeze 50 times on each hand, twice a day. I do it while driving to and from work, and it has helped a lot with wrist pain.

    • Anon23

      Thank you so much! I also feel better knowing other people have had this problem. I feel like carpal tunnel/repetitive stress syndrome has a bad rap (like you just want to see Dr. Summer-off or get worker’s comp.) I’ve only been at my job a year so I feel like “how can I have this already if the 10 year attorneys don’t?” I’m also going to try to dictate more often and hone those speaking skills at the same time.

      • anon

        After about 1 year in big law, I got a burning sensation in my wrists and forearms that hurt so badly one night I called the emergency room. I ended up with worker’s comp and months of physical therapy. I was diagnosed with tendonitis and pre-carpal tunnel. As for why me and not the ten year attorneys, that was in probably due to a number of factors, including those attorneys never had to do months of clicking through docs for doc review all day, and my own lack of upper body muscle development. Whatever the reason, I have this injury and that’s the way it is.

        Wrist rests are total bull. Don’t use them. I also use a track ball mouse and switch hands every other day. Regular mice are evil. I didn’t find it difficult to learn to be mouse-ambidextrous. Yes to a keyboard tray and footrest.

        Also get wrist braces, available at drugstores/online, for both wrists. You should be sleeping in them, and possibly driving in them. I still sleep in wrist braces and really regret it the next day if I don’t – it keeps my wrists in a neutral position while I sleep and helps the inflammation subside. Yes, very sexy, but oh well. I also apparently gripped the steering wheel wrong/too tightly (traffic!!!) which was aggravating my injuries. Take stretch breaks as the other ladies described. Stay off the laptop keyboard, which forces a bad position. Do not lift anything over 10 lbs. Even though I am embarrassed to be a “helpless female”, I do not touch bankers boxes anymore. I get one of coworkers to do it. Yoga is out, as downward dog is one of the worst things I can do, as are pushups, pullups and other body-weight-on-my-wrists positions.

        Please take your symptoms very, very seriously because continuing to aggravate it is only going to make it exponentially worse. Get physical therapy. Consider filing a worker’s comp claim. My biglaw HR was surprisingly supportive. Going through the workers comp system, at least in CA, was AWFUL, but it did get me the physical therapy I needed, as well as standing to do things like refuse to move bankers boxes. And seriously, get the wrist braces for sleeping. It will make a lot of difference.

        Good luck to you.

        • JessC

          Be careful of trackball mice (mouses?) – they can cause also cause tendonitis. Around the start of my 2L year of law school, I started having excrutiating pain down the thumb-side of my right wrist. I finally went to a walk-in clinic about it. The doc after a few questions and having me attempt a particular type of wrist stretch, he diagnosed me with De Quervain’s tendonitis. When I mentioned that I regularly used a trackball mouse, he said that was the likely culprit. While they can be great for relieving carpal tunnel, they can also lead to other problems. I think the best thing to take away from everything that’s been said is that you need to switch up positions and take breaks rather than staying in the same one all day.

    • Kaye

      Wrist pad is actually really bad for you. Here’s my solution:
      1. Ergonomic keyboard. Goldtouch, Kinesis, or something similar. Makes a HUGE difference. I have a Goldtouch and swear by it. The Kinesis is supposedly even better but takes a few weeks to get used to. However, most ergonomic keyboards are thicker than regular ones, so you’ll also need to do the following:
      2. Get a keyboard tray installed, or lower your desk if you can. If you can’t do either of these, raise your chair and get a footrest (could be an old box). Your forearms should be horizontal when you type, and your wrists should not be bent in any way, forward or backward.
      3. If you want to rest any part of your arm on something, rest your elbows on your chair’s armrest. Your wrists need to be freely floating in the air.

      I made these adjustments when I started working 5 years ago and started to feel cramping in my hands. I’ve had no problems since then. I really think an ergomonic keyboard is an absolute necessity.

      • Lola

        Thanks for the advice, Kaye. I think I may have problems from the mouse, too. Any suggestions for that?

        • Louise

          Buy a TrackBall, and switch between the mouse and that regularly. They require very different motions to control the cursor and so use your muscles differently.

          When I was really desperate with my wrists, I taught myself to mouse with my left hand. It is VERY hard to switch from your dominant hand, but trying it even 5 minutes out of every hour is a break for your sore hand!

    • North Shore

      Learn to use both hands with the mouse. I was a gymnast, so always have sore wrists b/c of arthritis and carpal tunnel. I have a wireless mouse so no cord to deal with, and frequently switch off right/left hands. Before I started doing this it was pretty bad, and a doctor put me on anti-inflammatories, which helped me avoid surgery. Now I’m pretty careful to take breaks and switch hands.

      • rg

        This, also consider getting a marble mouse (I use one for my left and a regular mouse for my right).

        And take wrist pain and early signs of RSI seriously! I did not, and ended up practically bedridden trying to finish up my PhD thesis (I finished by writing for 2 months on a 20 hour cycle…30 min at computer, 45 min rest, repeat until I took pain killers to sleep for a few hours). I’ve also since had to pretty much dispell with the idea of ever having a research career b/c I can’t handle the 10-12 hour days at a computer. Take symptoms seriously! You may need an ergo evaluation, which many larger employers provide. If yours doesn’t, it may be worth paying for it.

  24. crushed

    Ladies, I could use some help, please! I apparently wasn’t progressing fast enough at my firm and was given some choices that will result in me leaving, probably. I had no idea! There’s not enough work to go around, and I guess I was just the weakest link. Any tips for dealing with this? I’m petrified.

    • houda

      Big hugs. Don’t let this bring you down.
      If you can, start looking for a job before you actually leave. It will be hard but it is better to get started early.
      I hope you would get over this very soon.

    • Anonymous

      Yes, maybe it just wasn’t a great fit for YOU (forget about them) and this is the nudge that will get you where you want to be. I’ve never known anyone who left a firm at their own election or the firms’ suggestion who looked back and wished they were back at the firm. I know it hurts to hear it from them but there could be a multitude of “real reasons” anyway, politics, popularity, etc. Maybe you weren’t “progressing” because you have another calling to progress to!! Think about what you want to do (and I don’t mean ditching law, it could be a different type of firm or in-house or other type of law…) and get the law firm to support you in getting there. They may give you some outplacement options or help place you at a client. This is an opportunity. I wish my law firm had kicked me out instead of making me a junior partner. It took me a long time to come to my senses and realize that I never wanted to be a partner anyway and walk away on my own a couple of years later.

    • Blonde Lawyer

      Ask other trusted colleagues who have been there longer if this is a common scenario at your firm. Lots of people “left” my firm after I started. We were told they moved on to other jobs. Turned out they were told to move on. It might just be a stealth layoff and have nothing to actually do with you. Chin up, big hugs. Also, if you have anyone you trust there, try to find out what you could do, if anything, to improve in your next job.

      I also agree that it is often just a personality thing. Not that there is anything wrong with you, you just didn’t click with them. Kind of like dating. Not everyone is meant for everybody, etc.

      • Anon

        And honestly, if you had no idea, then they are terrible at teaching/mentoring, and you can hardly be blamed for any lack of progression, real or perceived. Stuff like this should never come out of the blue.

      • a lawyer

        A friend of mine just got notice, too, not enough work at her firm. It is probably not you, just the times, and of course, there is always the possibility that others just hit it off better with the decision-makers. Unfortunately, there is still a lot of good ole boy decision making going on these days.

        • crushed

          The more I think about it, the more this is what it looks like. Sigh. So much for an enlightened workforce.

    • E

      Don’t forget many people are in a similar boat. Monday morning my husband’s multispecialty group eliminated his division. On the one hand, it was all business, on the other if he was a cash center for the struggling group he wouldn’t have gotten laid off. He is one of those lucky guys who’s ego is totally intact and he picked himself up, brushed himself off and got an interview for a better job in less than a week. In the meantime, he’s been slightly exhilirated that new possibilities are opening to him. Find someone you trust and have a good conversation about what really happened. Call all the people who have supported you and let them know. They may have a great lead. You’re number 1 job now is to find the next good job. Do some reflection on what you really want, and go for it.

    • JDS

      Don’t beat yourself up! I was at a firm where I was increasingly under scrutiny from the partner I worked for, and I was also told that I was not progressing to the level expected for an associate with my experience. I felt constantly beat down, and my professional self esteem took a huge toll. I really believed that I was not cut out to be a lawyer. I was very unhappy, saw the writing on the wall, and reached out to everyone I knew that I was looking to make a change. One of these contacts came through with a connection. So luckily (in this market), I got a job offer at a better firm in a matter of weeks (which I took even though I thought I would never be successful as a lawyer because I needed a job). The current partner I work for has nothing but positive things to say about my work (and he is not an overly effusive person, for sure). I am SO much happier in my new job. The moral of the story is don’t get down on yourself and believe that you are a “weak link.” Sometimes it’s not a good fit. Take this as an opportunity for self reflection to see where you can legitimately improve but please try not to get down on yourself.

  25. Anyone still out there?

    I have to decide this weekend whether or not to stay in my clerkship for another year. My judge (state trial court) says I’m doing a great job and they’d be happy to have me stay, but he doesn’t think I’d be helping myself by staying another year. My parents, on the other hand, are worried about the job market and think I should stay.
    I like having a paycheck and health insurance. I wonder if the job market would be better if I waited a year to start looking, or if I’d just be better off waiting so I’d be more in sync with the fall recruiting schedule. I like my judge, and I like the hours of my current job, but I feel sort of under-employed. I think my judge may be overconfident about my chances of finding a job in the current job market, though. For what it’s worth, I graduated in the top third of my class from a top-ten law school, and I’m currently in a smaller market (where I passed the bar). Judge says I write well and present myself well, and he thinks I should be able to find a job if I am patient and diligent about it, although he conceded it might not be my “ideal” job. I’ve sent out a few resumes so far and haven’t gotten positive responses. It doesn’t help that my parents (non-lawyers) seem to think Biglaw is the only way to start out in law, and that it’s some sort of “defeat” that I’ll have to settle for something else. Any thoughts?

    • Anon

      Is your judge able to assist you at all with the job hunt? I did a state trial court clerkship and though I had a job lined up and didn’t need assistance, a couple of my co-clerks were “helped” by their judges in finding positions. If you have a specific area you want to work in (i.e., bank litigation or family law), you can mention it to him/her and see if they know people or firms in the area who either have a need or would be willing to take someone on. Not sure where you are in the country, but if you haven’t lined up something yet, you’re probably not going to get a Biglaw job for next year, even with your clerkship. If you’re willing to go small-law, you could probably line something up within the next 6 months. I do hear you on being bored with your clerkship. I felt that way by the second half, too. I had an opportunity to stay on as well and turned it down in favor of going into private practice. That said, at this moment, certainty is a great thing and no one is going to thing any less or more highly of you for staying that second year. Good luck!

    • Blonde Lawyer

      While I have never clerked, I know most firms hire way before they actually want people to start – like a year out. I would accept another year at the clerkship and keep looking for your next job starting now. Hopefully you can quickly line something up so you are not in this position again this time next year. Don’t get too comfortable where you are.

      • Lola

        Blonde Lawyer is right for maybe the big firms, but if you’re outside a big city, alot of the jobs will be immediate start.

    • Eponine

      I’d keep the job for another year. I don’t know where you are, but the market is bad everywhere right now. It certainly can’t get worse in a year, and it may be better.

    • Eponine

      I’d keep your clerkship for another year. I don’t know where you are, but the market is bad everywhere right now. It certainly can’t get worse in a year, and it may be better.

      I really would not want to be unemployed right now. It’s really, really rough. Your clerkship may not be the greatest career advancement tool in the world (although it may be), but it’s definitely better than being unemployed and moving back home, you know?

  26. Anonymous

    I love skinny cords. I ordered one pair from JCrew on final clearance only to discover they were too short on me! After giving that pair to a less leggy friend, I bought an almost identical pair from Charlotte Russe that really hit the mark. They’re not dressy enough for work, but they’re incredibly comfy and they’re something I find myself buying a pair of every year.

  27. RCJ 3L

    What is the best way to find out the dress code at a firm? I just accepted a job at a mid-size firm in a big city. I interviewed on a Saturday, and everyone was dressed very casually. I did not meet any female associates, and there are no female partners. Any suggestions?

    I ask now because I want to be able to start hitting up some sales for my future wardrobe :-)

    Thanks, everyone!

    • Anonymous

      Unless it is a suits-only environment, and almost none are these days, the dress code will be business casual. That means slacks, skirts, button-down shirts, blouses, jackets, etc. No jeans, t-shirts or non-dressy sweaters unless they have a casual Friday policy.

    • Eponine

      Call the office manager and ask :). She (and it’s almost always a she) won’t mind. Congrats on the job offer!

    • Samantha

      I know it’s tempting to celebrate by buying a bunch of things, but I’d suggest not going overboard with purchases until you join and spend a week or so at the firm. Actually working there for a few days will give you a much better idea than a few words from someone at the firm (‘business casual’ / ‘smart casual’ could mean a bunch of different things).

  28. Ann

    I would like to hear from anyone who has had chronic sinus trouble and what they did about it, including surgery.

    I had what I thought was a vertigo attack a couple of months ago. I went to see my doctor, and he did an Epley manuever and the vertigo went away – sort of. I am having dizzy spells late in the day, accompanied by headaches that don’t feel like migraines – more like extreme facial pressure and pain on one side of my face. My right nostril always feels kind of like it’s blocked. My general practitioner gave me some packets of nasal wash and a sprayer, and some Astelin spray, and the washes and the nasal spray do help a lot – but I’ll feel better for a couple of days and then it all comes back. I’m not supposed to use the Astelin every day, apparently, because it can be habit forming. My GP took a look at my sinuses (as well as he was able to) and he said it looks like the right one is inflamed, but didn’t want to put me on antibiotics as he said the ones that have been proven to work for chronic sinus are very strong and have a lot of side effects. He referred me to an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist.

    I’m waiting on my ENT appointment and have been reading a lot about sinus trouble and am pretty sure that’s what the problem is. It seems like all the stories I’m reading, everyone with problems like mine ended up having surgery. I am just curious if anyone else out there has had bad sinus trouble and what they did about it. I am trying to do what I’ve seen recommended online – sleeping with a humidifier, nasal washes, etc. but the problem doesn’t seem to be getting any better. Any advice is appreciated.

    • Sinus sister

      Don’t worry too much until you have your ENT appointment. ENTs are very good, and know how everything behind your face fits in together, and how it affects the rest of your body. You’ll hear about parts you never would have thought affected each other.

      I had sinus surgery about 15 years ago. In the mid-20th Century, sinus surgery used to be major surgery, and involved incisions in your face. Infection was common and side effects were bad. Often the surgery was worse than the symptoms it was trying to cure.

      Nowadays, though, the surgery is done with tiny instruments (like many surgeries). Mine was in the mid-90s, and it improved things for me 100%. For me, one of my sinuses wasn’t draining properly, and I would end up like you – with half my face feeling full all the time. It builds up in the tube to your ear, and that could certainly affect your vertigo. The surgery was a breeze and my sinuses drain normally now. (I still get colds, of course, but they don’t last 8 months.)

      My advice – go in with an open mind, and don’t be scared. Let them take care of you. You can get it fixed, and the fix isn’t too terrible.

    • Eponine

      Have you used a neti pot? I’ve experienced many of the same symptoms you describe, and using a neti pot to keep my sinuses clear and relieve sinus pressure helps enormously. It’s a bit awkward learning to use it, but definitely worthwhile IMO. You can buy one at Whole Foods or any similar store, and make sure you use iodine-free salt, although you don’t have to buy the special neti salt that they charge 3x more for. My doctor first recommended I try it, and my allergist also has recommended it, so it’s not a total hippie thing.

      • Anonymous

        I had sinus surgery about 5 years ago. A CT scan showed my left cheek sinus was almost completely blocked (gross alert: surgeon said when he cleaned it out the contents were like rubber cement).

        The process wasn’t bad. The recovery was annoying; I had sleep sitting up and had blood drainage. I also had to do frequent saline rinses. I stayed out of work for a few days, simply because I felt too icky to deal with dressing, commuting, and sitting at my desk.

        Bottom line: glad I did it.

        • Sinus sister

          Yes – the recovery is annoying and uncomfortable. I had forgotten that part. But you get through it, and it’s totally worth it. I actually liked the saline rinses. They were along the lines of neti pot, and made me feel cleaner.

          Rubber cement. Ew.

    • EG

      This sounds odd, but if you haven’t been to the dentist lately, you should go and have them do updated x-rays. I thought I had a stubborn sinus / ear infection, and it turned out I actually had an abscessed tooth. Although I had never heard of this before, it seems that it is not all that uncommon.

      • Anon

        It’s so interesting how everything fits together, because I had literally the opposite experience. I thought I had a bad tooth, and when the dentist took x-rays, she saw that I was actually having sinus problems.

    • Ann

      Thanks for the responses, everyone.

      I am very nervous about surgery, because one of my relatives had sinus surgery many years ago (as Sinus Sister was describing) and it was a terrible experience for him, and he has had terrible problems ever since. I am glad to hear sinus surgery is a lot different now.

      I have actually been to the dentist – EG, that was one of the first things my doctor suggested, because he has seen everything from abscesses to impacted undiscovered wisdom teeth cause vertigo and sinus-like symptoms. But they did a ton of x-rays and my teeth were fine. I did get to hear a lot of horror stories from the dental hygienist about teeth and sinus trouble, including a gross story about a woman who had teeth growing INTO her sinuses. :(

      I definitely need to do something as the ongoing problems are starting to affect my life, so it’s good to know others have been through this and gotten relief. Thanks very much for the replies and advice. :)

      • Anonymous

        Really? I had dental surgery and then experience vertigo for a week. My periodontist was absolutely sure that the vertigo was completely unrelated. I was positive that it was, and you have just added to that.

      • s in Chicago

        I had something similar, and it was a recurrent sinus infection. I thought it would never go away–literally, it went on for more than six months.
        After several doses of antibiotics through my internest and against her wishes, I FINALLY went to an ENT. I should have done that much sooner. He put me on a long dose of Levaquin that finally did the trick (I see ads that it has been linked to some issues with tendon problems, but for me it was an absolute godsend. ) Throughout, I stayed on a religous schedule of Sudafed and Mucinex. I also was using the saline neti stuff (Walgreens has a great one that comes in a clear plastic bottle similar to a ketchup squeeze bottle–you can microwave it easily for cleaning). Here’s hoping your solution will be something equally easy(ish) and not surgery.

        Good luck!

        • Valerie @ City|Life|Eats

          My story is pretty similar to S in Chicago in that it was the Levaquin/Sudafed/Mucinex/Neti pot combo that finally did the trick, but it took a long time to get there. I was on several antibiotics before that, then went to a sinus specialist (I picked that over a traditional ENT as I was suspecting at least some of my problem was allergy related). First I was on Biaxin for a couple of months, which helped, but not completely, then he gave me two choices: 1. nasal culture and then a more targeted antibiotic depending on the nasal culture results or 2. start thinking about surgery. I went with option 1 (the nasal culture was absolutely awful but mercifully fairly quick) which meant another several weeks on Levaquin, and eventually I felt better. Had I not, sinus surgery was the next step. The sinus specialist also did a bunch of allergy testing (the skin pin pricks kind), which yielded nothing but ragweed allergies. I will say this – the Biaxin and Levaquin left me really ill. My stomach was absolutely wrecked. That particular sinus infection was a 10 month nightmare, and it was on the heels of four years of recurrent sinus infections.

          The only upside to all of this is that it finally made me seek out an internist (MD) with a more holistic approach (I had had other health problems too, and couldn’t help but think there was a link between those and the sinus problems), which led me to work with a naturopathic doctor in his practice – turned out I had major food intolerances (gluten and dairy) – both are linked to many symptoms, but in my case were definitely at the root of years of digestive and sinus problems. Fast forward 2 years – while my sinus situation is not perfect, I only had one full-blown sinus infection in that time, it responded to 10 days antibiotics and a month of homeopathic support and saline spray. It was a much milder antibiotic that I was able to tolerate when managed with increased probiotics. This is all still a work in progress overall and I am by no means 100% better (the sudden drop in temperature left me almost immediately symptomatic and I am going to the doctor’s today), but I am so so much better than I used to be, it’s a start. I feel like now I am at the point where the sinusitis is manageable and not in the imminent surgery category. Hopefully it will no longer fit in the chronic category once more time has passed too, considering how much I have improved in the last year.

    • TK1

      I’ve mentioned this here before, and its a bit offbeat, but I had acupuncture done for allergies & sinus problems a few years ago and it worked really well. My sinuses are still much clearer years later. You need a few sessions (or maybe continual if its really bad), but it works great and is really relaxing.

  29. chix pix

    Love these skiny corduroy jeans – bought the same thing on sale at Ann T. last week. Scrumptious fabric. They run a little large. I will wear with a big white DKNY shirt that has pleats down the front and sparkly buttons. A nice outfit for the New Year’s holiday.

  30. Susan

    Recently, some of the weekday postings suggest layering over a “whisper thin turtleneck.” Any advice as to where to find one?

    • Eponine

      Target, J. Crew, I think I saw some at Loft or Gap too. Usually they’re called tissueweight; I’ve never heard “whisper thin” before.

      • Susan

        Thanks so much. You’re right–it was tissue, not whisper. Not sure where I got that.

  31. Yet Another Anon

    I am hoping to get some opinions/thoughts on the following. I am very fortunate to have a job at a small firm practicing family law. I’ve been practicing for only one year but I’ve been with the firm for 3 (2 as a law clerk before passing the bar). There are only two other practicing attorneys- both the male partners. The “main” male partner does not have a very good reputation in the community as a practitioner and I’m concerned that this might negatively impact me as I’m developing my reputation in the community. I also don’t want this to sideline me when I go to transition out of the firm. I’m fairly confident that I will not be there for a significant amount of time because I’m not “happy” there or with the type of law I’m focusing on right now. I know that it is a bad economy and I feel like I should just be grateful that I have this opportunity and make the best of it. I’m just nervous that the next three years will go by and then I will face implications. Has anybody had a similar experience? All thoughts are appreciated!

    • Lola

      Yes, his reputation could reflect on yours. It probably already has. And he may have taught you bad habits, too, that you think are perfectly normal. If you think you may want to leave, why are you sticking around? Start looking now.

      • Anonymous

        Yes, I took a job with a sole practitioner and it was a nightmare. I quit with nothing to go to, completely ready to waitress if necessary. It was the right decision to get out.

        • Yet Another Anon

          Sticking around because he is paying me really well for being one year out and I have a mortgage, student loans, etc. The other younger “partner” is wonderful- well respected and the primary person I worked with but he already has his own reputation before this firm. I guess I’m struggling because so many people in my position can’t find anything. I guess it never hurts to look and keep options open…thanks!

      • Anon

        What do you mean by “bad”? Whether it reflects on you will be a different thing depending on his issue. If he is a bulldog or difficult to deal with, but otherwise ethical, you may be fine. Esp. if the other partner has a different reputation and you’ve attempted to be kinder to opposing counsel and clients. If the problem is with his ethics or work product (always late, sloppy, etc.), then I would be MUCH more worried. The personality of a partner may not follow except for people to ask “how did you work with him for so long?” Things that are taught such as your legal ethics or work habits are going to be much, much harder to shake. And Lola is right, you could be picking certain habits up and not even realizing it.

    • Eponine

      I agree that it depends on in what way his reputation is not good. Is he known as unethical, or just as kind of unfriendly? And does his reputation extend to the firm overall, or is it an individual thing only? My inclination is to say that it’s not likely to be a problem for you so long as you don’t engage in the same behavior he engages in – in a firm with only 3 lawyers, the local legal community will know you as individuals more than by the firm’s reputation. But if he’s unethical or a bad lawyer overall, and you work with him on a case, this could come back to bite you hard.

  32. Anyone still out there?

    Thanks for the advice, everyone. :)

    Earlier this week, I had been leaning towards staying because it would give me more time to figure out where I want to be, to make more professional contacts (which I imagine would be useful for smaller firms), to get a jump on recruiting for 2012, and with any luck, for the economy to improve.

    I do think the judge is willing to help – he mentioned that he had a friend who practices in the area I’m most interested in and could introduce me to him. He’s also brought me to the local Inns of Court meetings. But he also gave me a big “seize the day” talk on Friday afternoon, telling me that I shouldn’t let my nervousness hold me back and that at some point I’d have to go be a lawyer, and to stay would be delaying the inevitable. So now I feel like it would be really awkward to announce that I’d rather stay. Of course, he did say, more than once, that if I came back next week and told him I wanted to stay, he’d say “Great!” and we’d go from there. Sigh.

    Anyway, thanks for letting me think out loud, so to speak, and thanks again for your input.

    • Anyone still out there?

      Oops – I meant to put this in the comment thread that I started. Sorry!

  33. kz

    May be too late in the weekend for any replies, but I’ll give it a shot. Has anyone ever used the Cover FX’s brand powder fx mineral powder foundation? A salesperson at sephora recommended today, but I’ve never heard of the brand. anyone have any thoughts?

    • Anon MA

      I also was recommended the brand by a salesperson at Sephora, and I have really liked it. I had been using a non-mineral foundation by Revlon when my skin started breaking out really badly (at age 25… argh!). My dermatologist told me to start using mineral make-up at the same time he prescribed lots of Rx’s for the acne. The combination of the Cover FX and the new skincare regime has really helped my skin. That being said, I have to use a few layers of the mineral foundation, plus their concealer, to get enough coverage. Overall, I have been happy with it and will probably continue to use it.

  34. Eponine

    Gap Coupon Codes! You have to have a Gap, ON, or BR credit card, but they’re not single use.

    This weekend through Dec. 5 only – GAPCARD35 for 35% off
    Dec. 6 – 24 – PASS15 for 15% off, and they guarantee that this will be the best offer available.

  35. B-day splurges?

    I’m considering dropping around $500 on a black freshwater pearl necklace as an indulgence for my upcoming 30th b-day. This would be the most expensive purely frivolous object I’ve ever purchased for myself, and I’m having a little trouble getting myself to actually do it. I keep thinking of all the other things I could do with that money… but I’m totally debt free and I think it’s something I would use regularly, both in my work and non-work life.

    I’d love to hear about anyone else’s b-day splurges to make me feel better about my possible one!

    • kz

      i bought myself my first nice purse for my law school graduation present to myself(and I’m not debt-free). I say splurge, especially if you have no debt! I also happen to think black pearls are gorgeous and fully support your decision:-)

    • Another Sarah

      Do it! Especially if it’s something that you would use regularly, as you said. If you want further justification, FWIW in my opinion pearls are not ‘purely frivolous.’ They can be worn with so many different things, so many different ways, and are so timeless that it’s a borderline wardrobe staple. I think of “frivolous” as “almost useless,” which pearls are not. :-)

      My frivolous splurge is the Clarisonic I just bought for not passing the Bar. I’ll use it for its intended purpose, so it may not be “frivolous” necessarily. The reason, however, is this: my Nordstrom card felt left out of holiday shopping. And they price-matched a really fabulous deal on it. And when I go back to an event at my school after I take the bar (again), I may very well look like a supermodel, causing everyone to be jealous. Or at least it’s how it works in my head… :-D

      • Anonymous

        The Clarisonic is totally worth it. I have had problems with acne since I was 11 years old and I have not had a serious breakout in a year, since I got my Clarisonic. I haven’t needed a facial at the spa either. Good choice on your splurge purchase :)

      • divaliscious11

        One of my best purchases in the last five years easily – Clarisonic!

    • E

      My two cents as someone who has a hard time dropping big money on single ticket items (I can easily burn through a chunk of money in 20 and 40 dollar increments, but when it comes to big ticket items, I freeze): I had wanted a pearl necklace for a long time and when my parents went to China they got me one.

      I wear it all. the. time. And love wearing it too. I feel pretty and polished. I never regret that I pushed them to get it for me. A classic piece of jewelry is really a treasured item.

    • Louise

      I, too, am hearing the siren call of black pearls. Have you looked at pearlparadise (dot) com? Their prices are really good. You may be able to get the same necklace for less than $500, or an even nicer one for the same $500.

      If your b-day is really soon, you might also consider waiting until after the holidays to buy. Jewelry prices should drop drastically after the big gift-giving season.

      • Another Anon

        HUGE second to Pearl Paradise. Got my necklace from them. Someone asked me where it was from, and ended up buying from them too.

        (No, I don’t work for them!)

    • s

      I spent $600 on a watch that was reduced on clearance all the way down from $1,400 as gift to myself a couple of years ago. It’s got beautiful diamonds above each number. I wear it almost every day and haven’t regretted it a moment. I instantly feel put together when I put it on. By the same token, I spent about that much on a tote last spring. And while I wore it a lot in the beginning, it isn’t rotated nearly enough to have made it worth it (I have several others that are equally nice but tend to be more comfortable to carry and less recognizable by designer). I kind of wish I had held off now. So I guess my lesson learned: Do you see yourself equally in love with it a year from now? Five years from now? Ten years from now? How often will you truly use it? If you start looking at cost per wear, it makes it an easier decision. IMHO, it seems like pearls never go out of style, work well in a variety of settings from business casual to formal, and would probably be a good wardrobe staple in terms of matching many different things. You’re probably looking at a good cost per wear.

      • Another Anon

        Agreed. Six months from now you will have forgotten how much it cost. Do it.

        My splurge was a BOSE wave radio for the bedroom. Had wanted one for a long time, finally indulged.

    • spacegeek

      For my 40th, I bought myself a $900 saddle. It was used, and cost almost double new, but I’m loving it!! I ride 2-4 times/week, and the saddle has made my “equitation” as it is called, much better!

      I’ve also purchased 2 different rings over time to celebrate milestone occasions (a huge raise at work was the most recent jewelry purchase) and the first ring was to commemorate getting the job in the first place almost 10 years ago.

      Every time I do one of these purchases, I feel proud of my ability to buy myself things I want, and also when I see those objects, it reminds me of my my accomplishments. It feels very different than when I’ve received beautiful things from others. The sense of accomplishment is connected to these personal purchases. It is lovely.

      • kz

        I’m just waiting for the day I can buy a horse as my splurge purchase :-p I don’t even need the saddle, i’ll just ride bareback. One day…

  36. Lizzie

    I have a hard time imagining that skinny cords would be slimming, functional or flattering on anyone with actual thighs.

  37. Anon101

    Question about J Crew stretch wool suits:

    I’m purchasing my first one…I have a few lower end suits (polyester and cotton blend– I’m a law student on a budget) and I now want a suit that fits well and is a higher quality material. J Crew is usually more than what I’m willing to spend, but they have a good sale on their stretch wool suits. Can anyone speak to the quality or fit of these?

    Thanks Ladies!

    • Janie

      I have one and I love it. I’m not sure what you want to know about the fit… if you can’t get it in the store, just order a whole bunch of sizes and then return, stuff tends to sell out as soon as it goes on sale.

      • anon

        Jcrew suits are of solid quality, and its nice that they have several types of pant/skirt options. However, I’ve had trouble with the fit, especially on the pants. No matter the cut, they just hit me wrong. If you fall into the same boat, consider trying a Theory suit. They are a bit more pricey, but frequently go on sale at places like Saks and Bloomingdales, and the fit is great. I especially like the Max C pants. Also, they have outlets near some major cities, and I have had fantastic luck with these. They tend to be about 30% less than retail.

    • Marie

      I have the stretch wool, in heather charcoal and in black (both purchased this fall, on sale and with extra % off, so it was a pretty good deal for me). The fabric and cut are great, in my opinion, and much more classic than the current similar offerings at Ann Taylor or Banana. (Or the Theory suits that I have tried on recently, even though those are much pricier). I was NOT impressed with J crew super 120 or wool crepe, both seemed cheap, linty and sloppy (in terms of cut). One thing with the stretch wool pants: if you need to have them hemmed, perhaps hem on the longer side if possible, the fabric is a bit stiffer than my other suit pants, or something, the bottom cuff holds its shape more than my others and I feel like it would look a bit better (with my current shoes) if it hit just a bit lower/a bit closer to the ground than it does now. If you have a student ID (or if any friends do that you can borrow from), that is an extra 15% off if you buy/order in store (not combinable with other % off, but you can take the 15% off of a general sale price). If you can get a jacket/pant combo in the stretch wool for around $300 (on sale), that is a good deal in my opinion. Only odd thing: the suit jacket is single vent but the skirt is double vent. It’s ok, and I did get the skirt in charcoal, but that combo isn’t great (since vents don’t match), so I bought pants only in black, and I doubt I will wear that skirt combo much.

    • JMW

      I have a J Crew stretch wool suit in a dark charcoal gray color and I love it. I feel like it looks very nice, and it breathes well and is comfortable – a good year-round suit.

  38. chix pix

    I totally agree with spacegeek. For a long time I purchased a beautiful glass paperweight every time I won a case. When I ran out of space for them I stopped doing this. But it was a nice idea, and I still enjoy them.

  39. Ellen

    I cannot find my cordoroy jeans from last season. I think my BF may have given them away or used them to clean the windows. Doesn’t he know that those jeans cost me $89 dollars? Men, boy are they useless.

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