This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
Sales of note for 9.10.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Bergdorf Goodman – Save up to 40% on new markdowns
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- White House Black Market – 30% off new arrivals
Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…
RSS Error: WP HTTP Error: cURL error 60: Issuer certificate is invalid.
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Anon for this
Ladies,
I finally went to the doctor about my potential adult ADD. I felt it was really interfering with my work. For example, today I managed to take a 2 hour “lunch break” while sitting at my desk. Anyways, I am starting on Vyvanese this weekend. I’m nervous about the potential side effects but I know I have to do something.
I’m just wondering if any of you other lovely ladies have positive experiences with the drug, or other similar drug, that you would be willing to share.
Other questions – could you still have a cup of tea while on the med? Could you have a glass of wine at night?
Thanks!
Anon for this
Oh and I guess I should have mentioned – the doc said I most definitely have adult adhd. I have some other medical conditions and he said they often go hand in hand. You can have adult add/adhd even if you did not have it as a child and even if you have been successful in school and professionally. It was very eye opening. Hopefully I will now be able to get my work done more efficiently and with less distraction.
TX Attny
May I ask you if you are willing to give some examples of what led you to get this checked out? Sometimes I feel so distracted and disengaged at work, and I’ve sometimes wondered if ADD/ADHD is to blame. I wondered what sort of things you noticed in yourself. Thank you, Anon for this.
E
I’d also like to hear what led to the diagnosis – I’ve also wondered if I should see a doctor about this, too.
Anon for this
Oh man, I have so many examples for you. My tipping points were reading an article in Real Simple and thinking “OMG that is me!” – thinking that the problem was that I was bored with my job and starting a new job and even though I found the work so interesting – having the same old problems.
The problems:
I have a really hard time starting a task, particularly if I don’t want to do it. I often have a hard time staying on task and I will find anything else to do instead. I have “hyper focus” meaning when I am interested in something (hello corporette!) I can waste HOURS on it, in the middle of work. I can sit at a desk full of work and just stare at it but then end up working late because I know I have to get it all done. Another tipping point was in the past I would procrastinate until the last minute and then be able to concentrate when it was the final hour. More recently, I was having trouble even in that final hour.
I interrupt people all the time. I talk a lot. And fast. All the time. I HATE waiting. I always volunteer to go first for public speaking. I fidget and tap my feet all the time. I find cleaning totally overwhelming. I will start cleaning one room and then go to put something away and find myself reading a magazine in the new room or cleaning things in the new room. On many occasions I have started to empty the dishwasher and then halfway through started loading the dirty ones before I was even done emptying it.
I’m messy. If I drop something on the floor (say a wrapper) I just leave it and will get it “later.” I forget people’s names almost as soon as they say them. My husband can ask me to do something and I will honestly say sure as soon as I am done with this … with full intentions of doing it as soon as I’m done with “this” and then I just totally forget. I could go on for days. Here is a fun article I came across today. They call it a “test” but it is more of a “you know you have adult add if….”
http://healthlifeandstuff.com/2010/06/an-adhd-test-made-for-adults/
Emmey
Are you me? This is absolutely me. I was diagnosed with with executive disfunction as a kid, but I never got medicated. Thoughts?
TX Attny
Thank you so much for your insight. I’m going to take the quiz!
houda
I took the test.. it explains so much! Now, all my bizarre lazy-genius behavior has an explanation
Veronica
The article/test seems like it would apply to everyone. I mean, who doesn’t do any or all of those on occasion?
E
Thanks – if that test is anywhere near accurate, apparently I don’t have it. Maybe I just hate my job…
jcb
Thanks so much for posting that. I had been toying with the idea of looking into this, but the quiz has convinced me. Wow.
Anonylawyer
This sounds like it could describe just about everyone IMHO. I mean, I’m totally like that, as is everyone I know. If we weren’t all like this, how would we explain the Corporette/Abovethelaw.com/name that blog comments section? Shouldn’t we ALL be doing something else right now?
Anonymous
Per my doctor and my personal experience, a glass of wine is fine. I think one cup of tea would be ok, but vyvanse is an upper and caffeine is an upper while alcohol is a downer, so it’s a different sort of thing. I tended to drink green tea (less caffeine) or herbals when I was on vyvanse.
KW
My coworker has been taking this for the past year and a half or so and says it has made a world of difference. Apparently, in addition to problems concentrating, she used to really have problems sleeping and now she never wakes up at night (although she has a reeeaaalllly hard time getting up in the morning, not sure if that’s medication-related or just the fact that she’s not a morning person.at.all). But she also drinks a lot of diet soda throughout the day, so caffeine must not be too big of a concern. One thing she is very concerned about is when it comes time to have children because apparently its effects on a fetus are undetermined, so she would have to stop taking it if/when she gets pregnant, and she’s very concerned she won’t be able to do her job because it makes such a big difference in her ability to concentrate.
KW
Oh, and I should add that she drinks on occasion and doesn’t have any problems with alcohol’s interaction with the medication.
Anonymous
I have been diagnosed with adult ADD as well. I was put on Adderall, which worked wonderfully for me but I stopped taking it because I refused to pay for the urine screens that were required by my state and not covered by insurance. Anyhow, be careful of the first week you are on it while your body adjusts. I have never been one to get the jitters from too much caffeine, but I did the 1st week I was on Adderall. I remember day 1 of the drug I took it when I got up at 6:30, got to work at 8:00, had a cup of coffee and then went to Court at 9:00 for a mediation, I had the jitters. I remember sitting in the hall waiting to be called into mediation and I wanted to jump out of my skin and my heart was racing. Waiting with nothing to do but staring at the wall was almost unbearable. Once I was engaged in the mediation, I was fine. In the evening when the meds wear off, you will be really tired. A glass of wine will do you in. However, after the first week or so you should be fine and resume enjoying your normal beverages.
Good luck with the meds. I was amazed at how well they worked at keeping me on task.
ChristineB
My middle son (9 years old) takes Vyvanse for his inattentive adhd and it’s been wonderful for him. The change in his focus has been amazing, and a very positive experience for him. The only side effect we’ve noticed is a reduced appetite (which isn’t great because he’s picky & not a big eater to start with but we’re managing) and the stimulants in it makes it difficult for him to fall asleep at night most nights.
Overall we feel the benefits outweigh the side effects. Also, I’m not sure how it will effect adults, but I wish you lots of luck!!
Anony
Waking up and sleeping.
As far as getting up, it was really hard at first but, I was never a morning person. Early on, I would set my alarm an hour before I needed to get up, take my meds and go back to sleep. That went away after about 2 months. I do not need to now – and I get up at 5 am every day to workout. I never had a problem with sleeping, but I never did . I have heard that people cannot sleep because of either med.
Working out
Working out really helps on top of the medication – generally anything that gets oxygen to the brain is good.
Further info!
I would watch the documentary “ADD and loving it.” It was on PBS and is done by some comedians who do the Red/Green Show. It is helpful and made me realize that several members of my family have this too. It also gives tips about how to manage without meds if you need to.
Speaking
For some reason, I had problems with public speaking at first. Normally I am able to ad lib a lot of my oral arguments but on the medication for some reason it was not as easy – which means I needed more notes. Again that went away – and probably only I noticed.
Water
Drink so much water no matter what because it will dehydrate you.
Quitting
Not to be all my mom when I started shaving my legs, but once you start it, you shouldn’t stop until a Friday so that you have a weekend to get used to it. Coming off of it, my friend and I both noticed we could sleep for 12 hours a day.
Finally, I wouldn’t share the fact that you take it with anyone. There is a societal stigma – especially with people abusing it so much in college and law school. I told one co-worker and everytime I get excited about something, or stay late, they say someone took their meds today! I just roll my eyes (back onto my project.)
Anon
Lol at “Not to be all my mom when I started shaving my legs”
TX Attny
Agree – that’s funny!
Yes
no problems drinking alcohol but definitely caffeine on top can make you jittery.
Bee
Not quite personal experience, but a member of my family took that for a while. He took the first dose late day and called me… scared me a bit because it seemed like he was on speed or something. Overall he felt it helped him, but also says co-workers noticed him talking faster, not being hungry when offered food at work, etc. Starting on the weekend is a good idea. You might ask a friend or family member to help monitor how you’re doing with this. And congratulations for deciding to take action and deal with the ADD.
Anon for this
Thank you all for your valuable input. I obviously read all the published stuff and asked my doc questions but in my experience the best info comes from other people who have btdt.
Heather Bryan
I have a friend who has written several books on adult ADD and they have some wonderful coping strategies. Look for Stephanie Sarkis either on facebook (and she has her own website). She’s also done columns for The Huffington Post. Best of luck!
Heather Bryan
I should add that’s Dr. Sarkis, look for Stephanie Sarkis PhD. Great books!
AD
As a thank-you for some work on a recent high-profile project, I was awarded a $1000 bonus, a $1000 gift certificate for a local jewelry chain, and a much smaller gift card for a local restaurant group. The money was (obviously!) great, but despite the monetary discrepancy I was more excited about the food (one of my favorite places to go) than the jewelry – a quick look at the company’s website indicated that I was unlikely to find much I was interested in, which was unfortunately confirmed when I browsed through the store over the past weekend.
The store – Barmakian’s for those in the New England area – appears to have a good reputation and is apparently well known for engagement rings in particular but the vast majority of the inventory is very conventional. I work in a business casual setting and prefer more unique/modern designs.
My first reaction was that perhaps I could try to work with them to design something I’d like – probably an echo of my mother’s voice in my head telling me to appreciate the gifts I’ve been given! In reality though, I could easily pick out that much worth of jewelry from other places that I’d like more with much less effort, plus I’m worried about getting myself into a situation where I spend much more money than I’d intended so I can get what I want.
So essentially I’ve gone from feeling a little guilty about not appreciating it to feeling irritated that it wasn’t thoughtful enough, and am now considering selling it on Craig’s List. I’m a little concerned about managing the transaction and was wondering if anyone had any tips for something of this magnitude – it’s a little different from having the $200 payment for the old couch be a bonus for someone taking it out of the house! I figure I wouldn’t be able to ask for cash – anything I can do to help insure myself against a bad check? I’m thinking maybe $850, does this seem reasonable? Would I be better off holding out to closer to the holidays? (Also, please tell me I’m not a bad person for doing this!)
kaydee
Sorry, meant to reply to this chain, my response is below!
Selia
I definitely would not go back and ask for cash! And, I don’t think I would risk selling it, either – what if you are asked what you got with it, etc. I think I would just be grateful for the gifts, find a basic pair of stud earrings, and be done with it.
Bunkster
Maybe you could buy gifts for other people. I’m in the Boston and wouldn’t say no to diamond earrings.
My sister-in-law’s engagement ring is from Barmakian. She didn’t like the one my brother chose so she chose her own. It’s giant. It cost a fortune and she can’t wear it to work, because she’s a teacher in Roxbury.
Bunkster
Oops. *Boston area*
Snarky
I LOVE Barmakian for engagement rings. They actually do a lot of their own design work too…
I would go in and see if you could work with them to design something. One of my best friends had her wedding and engagement ring designed there. It’s worth a shot.
If that doesn’t work – I’d wait until closer to the holidays and then try to sell it FOR CASH ONLY on craigslist. Obviously meeting in a very public place with no real connection to your normal life (so the person can’t later track you down).
Runnin for it
When selling a gift card on craigslist, its best to meet at the store so the buyer can verify the amount on the gift card.
anon
I would be worried that somehow it would get out that it wasn’t used as intended. And I think losing $150 this way is not that great either.
I’m not in your area so not familiar with what the inventory there is like–is there any way you could put it toward something like a watch, which might get more use or that perhaps a spouse might enjoy? Also, just because there isn’t anything that immediately jumps to your interest doesn’t mean it will stay that way. Maybe you might have more luck during a time of year when selection is likely to be greater? (Like closer to the holidays.)
Just my 2 cents.
another anon
I agree–I would also be worried that it would get out that you sold it, which might not reflect so well on you. But I say that not knowing the details of the situation and without being familiar with the particular store. If it’s a small family-run store and the store owners have some sort of relationship with the higher-ups at your company, it might look bad to sell the gift certificate to someone else. If you can’t find something for yourself, I would just do your holiday shopping for others there.
J
Ebay actually has a section for people selling gift cards. I’d go this route, rather than Craigslist, because the payment will be securely processed through PayPal so you won’t get screwed. You could set the minimum bid at $800 and see how much you get.
If you do go through Craigslist, you should absolutely ask for cash. There’s nothing to prevent you from getting a bad check – even cashiers checks can be faked (a relative found this out the hard way).
rg
What about something really classic like a diamonds by the yard type necklace. They seem to have one:
http://www.barmakian.com/catalog/view.x?s:c09_7_b/c:necklaces/p:2
Can’t speak for the quality at this price, but I have something similar that I was given as a gift, and I wear it all the time. I say this as someone who also generally prefers more unique and modern designs. It’s a nice basic go-to that can also be layered with other stuff in a unique way.
AIMS
I don’t think you’re a bad person at all. Assuming this is not the kind of thing that can be traced back to you, I would recommend selling it on e-bay, where you can protect yourself through paypal (as opposed to craig’s list).
I think using the card for gifts is also a good idea.
Or perhaps, consider just giving it some time. I once received a gift from an ex that I really did not like (a bracelet of small diamond snakes. . . . shocking, i know), and when the ex noticed that I was not wearing it, he said I should just exchange it at the store where he bought it for something I would prefer (I fibbed and said I just don’t wear bracelets because I type a lot). Anyway, I initially hated every single item in that store, thought it was totally not my style (and it really wasn’t), and wondered how I could even date someone who would shop for my gift in such a generic place. I even irrationally got mad at the saleslady for pushing things on me that I just would never wear. BUT — then I randomly saw a pendant necklace that I LOVED, totally my style, and that I still wear pretty much all the time, even though my relationship is long over. Just goes to show you – it went from being my least favorite gift to my one of my top 5, easy. You never know. If there’s no expiration date on that gift card, I’d hang on to it.
Diane
Another thought if you want to get rid of it – how about donating it to a local charity’s silent auction? You’ll get the tax write off for the donation and gift cards go suprisingly well if they can get the $1,000 gift card for $700 or something…
Ann
Yes, this. In addition to charitable causes, if you have nieces or nephews or other children you’re close to, a lot of schools have silent auctions as money-raisers and gift cards are hugely desired as they are great for fundraising. You’ll get a letter to write off the donation on your taxes.
E
I think it’s fine to sell it. If anyone asks you what you got with it, you can simply tell them, “A present for a friend, she really loved it” etc.
May
I would also suggest trying to use the gifts. OK so they’re not perfect but still…
AD
Thanks for the ideas/input. A little more background…. Others who worked on the project were also recognized for their efforts in at least some way – my company has a formal program for the cash-type awards (which is why the gift certificates were so unexpected) and I know that others who worked more tangentally on the project received an award that way. I had thought about donating it for a silent auction-type event, but none of the charities I’m involved with have one. I hadn’t considered using it for wedding gifts or the like, probably at this point in my life I don’t attend enough weddings to burn through it quickly – though I guess Bunkster’s earrings would do so! But that’s a thought I’ll hold onto.
Also, I am positive that it won’t get out if I do sell it. The gift wasn’t widely known about, plus if ever questioned by the giver it’s very easy to gloss over – e.g., I put it toward a nice watch (which I already have), bought a couple of nice things (generic), etc. Plus I was strongly considering putting the money to jewelry purchases elsewhere.
However, you’ve made some convincing arguments for maybe not rushing into this without at least giving the place another chance. I hadn’t known about the Ebay gift card category, so that’s also good info if I do go that route.
anon
Did you visit the large store in framingham? They must have something …
anon
I just wanted to mention, since you said you’re in the New England area, that an org I used to work with has a silent auction as part of their gala/fundraiser. Girls’ LEAP Boston–they’re awesome. They teach self-defense classes in the Greater Boston Area to girls 8-18 (I participated as a teacher). The classes have both physical and a self-reflective components. Just a thought, if you decide to go that route.
E
If I were in your position, I’d absolutely sell it if it weren’t to a store I was interested in. And it sounds like this is something from work, not from your mother-in-law, so all the rules about what to do when you’ve received a gift you don’t like don’t apply in the same way.
I’ve sold a few things on craigslist in the $1000-3000 range and I have insisted upon cash. I’ve been prepared to take paypal if absolutely necessary (but preferred cash to avoid a potential chargeback, and also to avoid the paypal fees) but surprisingly, genuine buyers get why you’ll want cash. When I did these larger transactions, I usually liked to meet up in a bank – figured security there was better than most places.
Online Savings
Does anyone have any experience (good, bad or otherwise) with HSBC or ING accounts? Anyone know why they don’t show up in searches for currents rates on wwwDOTbankrateDOTcom?
Maddie Ross
I have had a good experience with ING in that they are easy to use, easy to transfer money to and from, and generally a good place to keep liquid savings. My opinion however is tainted by the fact that I am earning next to nothing on the account now. While I know it’s not them but rather the fed and the economy, it sucks to have once made 5+% each month and now be making less than .99%. Sigh. The good news is that the rate hasn’t slipped any in the last 6 months at least…
Kanye East
Same here re: ING. Exactly.
Makeup Junkie
I have been using ING for checking, savings, my IRA, and ShareBuilder for years. I highly recommend it.
SF Bay Associate
Me too, exactly same feeling about my ING account.
kz
eh, if you have a fluctuating rate (and I assume almost everyone’s is for savings/checkings accounts), they all suck right now. I got an ING savings account in March and their 1% was actually one of the highest. Now, if rates start going up and they don’t follow, I’ll be annoyed, but my understanding is they’re pretty good about going up when interest rates do. I have no complaints about them thus far.
J
Same. The convenience of ING is great. Their interest rates aren’t any lower than any other savings accounts, as far as I know – I have another savings account too and it has roughly the same rate.
Research, not Law
Yep, me too.
b
Note that Capital One just bought ING so things might be declining dramatically there soon, from a customer service perspective.
AIMS
I have an account at HSBC and have nothing negative to report. I have had an account there for years, the customer service is very good, and it is a good bank to have if you travel a lot as they have a lot of international locations.
Bonus if you are in NYC — HSBC keeps a “cab” in manhattan during regular business hours and if you happen to see it unoccupied, the very nice guy who drives it will take you anywhere in the city for free. It doesn’t happen often, but I have taken three trips in it rather randomly and it always makes me really love my banks when I do.
Lydia
I have accounts with both ING and HSBC. I have never had issues with either one. I just move money between the two depending on which one has the current higher rate (mattered more when interest rates were higher; pretty much pathethically low everywhere now).
belle
I use HSBC and it is the best account I have for shifting and moving funds. Also great customer service (compared to Chase, Wells Fargo, BoA or any other brick and mortar bank I have used).
kaydee
I just took a look on the site – are there any opportunities you could buy up some of the corporate gifts and pass them out to those who helped on the project in question? That way you could spread the goodwill around. There are also some nice crystal items and other things… maybe you have some upcoming showers and are in need of gifts like this? Heck even the frames are lovely, and would make a nice gift with a personal photograph to family and friends during the holidays.
kaydee
Oops, meant to reply to the chain above re: the gift card, sorry!
SF Bay Associate
This is smart. Share the wealth. Also, a small gift for your assistant who helped you in some way on getting this recognition?
MsZ
I agree with this advice. It’s a windfall for you – share it with the people who helped you get it.
b23
Hopefully this won’t get stuck in moderation: Does anyone know of a way to get LV bags for a smaller price? My understanding is that they are only sold in store, so I can’t even get e bate s. Do they ever go on sale?
another anon
No, the one you likely want won’t go on sale.
You can buy them in another country or buy them used.
so
check consignment stores too – jillsconsignment.com is reputable and usually has a few choices
AN
I’m looking to sell mine ( used only once) since the shoulder straps cut into me uncomfortably. It’s epi leather in caramel/ tan. Unlikely it’s what you’re after though:)
Divaliscious11
EPI is very stiff! I have one Epi bag and it is beautifully, but I rarely carry it because of the stiffness. Sad really, because its large enough to carry a lot of stuff…
houda
I buy mine abroad and recover tax at customs before leaving the country. so I end up paying about 85% of the retail price.
Divaliscious11
Louis Vuitton does not go on sale…even in Europe during SALE season. If you want authentic, non-used, you have to go to the store, a boutique in a department store or the online LV store. There are a some reputable ebay resellers. Fashionphile is one (lawschool classmate of mine runs it). It used to be that you’d get a great deal with the exchange rate and VAT return, but even that is no longer so good. The benefit of buying in Europe now is that you may be able to get designs not available for sale in the US.
E
Fashionphile is great, and you can also try calling local consignment stores and asking them to notify you if they get the bag you want.
Anonymous
Does anyone have any experience with snakeskin purses (actualy snakeskin, not embossed leather)? I’ve been looking for an oversized clutch/shoulder bag with a chain strap and I found one I love for 1/3 of the original price. The only caveat is its made of snakeskin and I’m concerned I may destroy it. I’m not planning to carry it daily – more out to dinner and drinks but I don’t want to have to be completely precious with it. Thoughts?
AIMS
I have a large, snakeskin clutch that is older than I am (vintage) and it still looks funky and cool, but it definitely does show wear a bit more than regular leather would. I think it’s just the nature of the scales, etc. I think it really depends on your style; to me, it works better when it’s a kind of “funky” piece and will be worn that way, as opposed to something too serious, if that makes any sense.
Bunkster
So my mother recently lost her go-to summer khaki skirt. It was jcrew with welt pockets and fell just above the knee. My sister gave it to her about 10 years ago. Her birthday is next week and I’ve been trying to find something comparable to replace it. But there just don’t seem to be any basic straight khaki skirts. Everything is a-line or buttons down the front or has a bow.
Has anyone seen anything like what I’m looking for? I don’t want to pay more than $50. She’d die and I’m also getting her some other gifts.
It’s really frustrating. I have checked every place I can think of – JCrew, Eddie Bauer, Land’s End, etc.
another anon
I have had my eye out for a nice khaki skirt lately, since I spilled on my old one and ruined it. I haven’t seen anything that I like. It may be the wrong time of year for khaki though–I tend to think of it more as a spring color, and everyone is starting to come out with fall stuff right now. I will be watching the responses you get with interest though.
PollyD
Target? Kohl’s? Sierra Trading Post? Vermont Country Store? Garnet Hill? You could also try eShakti, which is a website that offers customizable clothes. So they might have a skirt that is the shape you want, in the fabric you want, and then you can customize the length.
Bonnie
Here are a couple options. Good luck!
http://bananarepublic.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=850708012&tid=braff2178999&ap=2&siteID=brafcid105&redirect=true (the drawstring can be removed and not really a mini)
http://www.zappos.com/levis-a-line-cargo-skirt-chino?utm_source=shopstyle (very slight a-line)
http://www.zappos.com/columbia-arch-cape-skirt-tusk
http://www.zappos.com/dknyc-heavy-cotton-poplin-cargo-skirt-pueblo
http://www.zappos.com/worn-jeans-daisy-skirt-cold-stone
b23
What about this one? http://tinyurl.com/3uoe5gy
b23
It has pockets, but they’re small.
AIMS
Tiny beat pleated at the top, no pockets (?), but very basic:
http://tinyurl.com/3zm9z9e
AIMS
Man it’s been a long week. I meant to sat “bit” . . . I need to go home.
Bonnie
My comment is stuck in moderation. Check out the skirt selection at zappos.
Digby
I just got a cotton sateen pencil skirt at Talbots – khaki-ish color, so it may be what you’re looking for except for the price (it wasn’t on sale).
This.
My sympathies to your family following your mother’s recent loss. T&Ps go out to you all.
Just E
I hate to feed the troll, but she’s funny.
This.
This!
Divaliscious11
I have been looking for one for months…with no success ….
Divaliscious11
Hat tip to Digby….. Check my inbox for a coupon code…..
eh230
Ladies, I am starting a new job (hurray!) and will be getting a significant discount on Laura Mercier cosmetics. I have never worn this brand but know that it is popular. What is your favorite product? Thanks!
GRA
The concealer is fantastic!! Congrats on the new job (with excellent benefits!!)
L
Their oil free primer is the only thing that keeps my face from looking like an oil slick and their translucent powder is also great. I have a cream eyeshadow (sample) that also is really pretty and wears fairly well.
KW
I continually hear great things about their tinted moisturizer. I’ve never tried any tinted moisturizers, but if (when) I do, this is likely the brand I will go with.
Kanye East
YES the tinted moisturizer. Love it.
Hiatus815
Am I the only person that doesn’t love the Laura Mercier tinted moisturizer? I bought it because everyone always raves about it and it gave me horrific breakouts.
Formerly Preggo Angie
I wasn’t a fan of their tinted moisturizer, either. I prefer Aveda’s.
Ebro Fin
No, I hate it as well. It made my skin noticeably peel. Really noticeable and unattractive, which is weird for a moisturizer.
AJ
I use their illuminating tinted moisturizer, and it is a magical, magical product that makes me look awake and dewy when I’m really. It also does a decent job of concealing dark circles, so I was able to get rid of another product that way.
Selia
EVERYTHING!! But, especially their Tightline Cake Eye Liner!
Congrats! Lucky you!!
MaggieLizer
Eye liner seconded. I wear the navy every day. Make sure to use the liquid they sell with it (activator or whatever it’s called) because it just doesn’t go on right without it.
I also really like their lip glosses. They’re not too glossy, sticky, and the color is sheer but still gives you some color. My current favorite is baby doll.
SAlit-a-gator
Thirded.
jcb
LM has some great stuff. I like their liquid eyeliner and flat brush. Also, secret finish (I use it to freshen up late in the day and when I’m leaving work).
Makeup Junkie
Sheer lip color lippies are fantastic
Congratulations on your amazing new job!
AIMS
Primer is awesome. Foundation is fantastic. I don’t use either all the time, but the foundation is one of the few that looks totally natural and yet covers well.
The mascara is fabulous, too, but alas mine was not waterproof which can be messy. Maybe I just didn’t see waterproof?
Veronica
Their pressed powder looked awesome but I had two of them shatter/crumble in the case and make a mess of my bag, so beware.
LM
Eye Basics (eye foundation) — really brightens the eyes and covers all the veins of eyelid. Perfect to wear alone on it’s own. It doesn’t crease in the eyelid either. I also love her Flawless Skin Eye Concealor — $$$, but worth it, esp if you don’t get enough sleep/prone to dark cirles. It depuffs and brightens. Finally, her lipglosses are great – I love baby doll.
CW
Love this skirt, Kat! Stop tempting me with things that I should not be buying!
so
For those in LA, Rachel Pally is having a warehouse sale
dc lady
Taking my first trip to Philly soon and would love recommendations on things to do and see. It’s just a day trip, so I’m sort of looking for the ‘Philly Highlights,’ but any recommendations on the arts scene, live music, and veggie-friendly restaurants would be perfect. Just got to get the heck out of dc!
Awful Lawful
I used to live in Philly. It’s a great place to spend the day.
For veggie-friendly food, I would recommend Gianna’s. http://www.giannasgrille.com/index.html. They’re known for their vegetarian/vegan friendly menu. They even have vegan cheesesteaks!
There is also a great vegetarian Chinese restaurant in China Town called Cherry Street, I believe.
Anon
Gianna’s has actually been closed for about a year. An even better, but entirely vegan, pizza and hoagie shop called Blackbird has taken over the space (they also have vegan cheesesteaks). Govinda’s at Broad and South is another popular spot for vegan and vegetarian cheesesteaks.
If you are looking for arts, live music, and veg food, Northern Liberties/Fishtown is probably the area where you’ll be able to find all three in close proximity to one another (depending on what kind of music you like). There are a ton of eateries there that have good veg items on their menus–you could probably just walk around that area and find something reasonable without planning in advance.
Near Philly
I have to ask: what is a vegan/vegetarian cheesesteak?
Clothing in Cairo
My guess is it’s seitan and non-dairy cheese (often spelled cheeze).
As a lifelong functional vegetarian I would stay away from any such place advertising this except Govinda’s, which is amazing.
Cat
Hands down favorite veggie restaurant in Center City (if you like falafel) – Mama’s, between Market and Chestnut on 20th st. There’s frequently a line out the door on weekdays. Coworker’s spouse who is from Israel vouches for its deliciousness too :)
If you’re a cheese loving vegetarian, stop in at Di Bruno’s (18th and Chestnut).
Zanzibar Blue (mentioned below) is closed, but Chris’ Jazz Cafe may interest you – it’s between 14th and 15th on Sansom. There’s a schedule on their website.
If it’s a pretty summery Saturday, the best people watching is around Rittenhouse Square (and the adjoining restaurants).
Emma
“Time” and Farmer’s Cabinet (new) are also great jazz spots with wonderful ambiances. Time is around 13th and Sansom; Farmer’s Cabinet around 12th and Walnut I believe.
Clothing in Cairo
Second Mama’s. I’m so happy falafel has become a trend in Philly, and even happier that an authentic place like Mama’s exists.
Anon
Moved from DC to Philly recently and I can say that Philly is awesome! Much “realer” than DC.
I would check out Reading Terminal market. Its like the world’s most awesome indoor farmer’s market only with lots of amazing restaurant stands too. They have a great veg restaurant stand there that does the best faux-cheesesteak I have ever had.
Also, check out the Mutter Museum. It’s in Rittenhouse so you can just swing into it while checking out other shopping and some other sight-seeing. It’s an awesome museum of antiquated medical abnormalities. Think Ripley’s believe it or not but the real deal and more quaint.
Also, another trend that is big in Philly that is totally lacking in DC is the gastropub – local bars that have great menus and good beer. There’s a ton, check out yelp for recommendations.
B
I send going to Reading Terminal Market. So many yummy foods to choose from and fun booths to browse.
Museums
wwwDOTbarnesfoundationDOTorg
wwwDOTphilamuseumDOTorg
Clothing in Cairo
Second the Barnes. It’s not actually in Philadelphia, but the neighborhood is beautiful and the Barnes is worth it. Also; they’re [always] going broke — they could use your patronage.
Anon
Barnes Museum is actually in the process of moving in to Philly (it was previously in the burbs) so now is not the best time to visit it.
Anon in Philly
The Barnes is actually closed until 2012 so really not a good time to visit. (But Netflix “The Art of the Steal” for a great documentary about the years and years of litigation surrouding the provisions of Dr. Barnes’ will and efforts to move the collection to a new location).
Clothing in Cairo
That’s sad to hear (I’m out of state right now) — but I will totally Netflix that; thanks!
SAlit-a-gator
Rittenhouse Square is a nice little area with lots of nearby resturants. The UPenn campus is also awesome and there’s alwasy a museum, expo, event there. I also really like the area by the docks where you can walk around – not sure what’s its called.
Last time I was there there was a bar with live jazz music called Zanzibar Blue. Not sure if still open, but I heard good things about it.
seltzer pop
Can’t believe nobody has said this yet, but the Philly art museum is fantastic. The area around the museum is also a lot of fun – lots of cute brunch places. Also, it’s right by the Schuylkill, and there are a couple of bicycle rental places by the museum and a really pretty (and flat!) trail to ride on.
Anon
Second. It just skipped my mind. The Art Museum is FANTASTIC and home to a great view of Philly and the stairs Rocky ran up on!
seltzer pop
Also, if you happen to be visiting on the first Friday of the month, there’s an open gallery walk in Old City called First Friday, appropriately enough : )
AnotherMel
So many vegetarian-friendly restaurants in Philly! If you’re over by the art museum, I suggest stopping at Sabrina’s Cafe (18th and Callowhill) for breakfast/lunch/brunch. If you head down to Old City, I strongly suggest Kyhber Pass (if you’re looking for a good pub w/ great vegetarian food) or if you’re looking for a really nice meal out, try Zahav (also in old city- Israeli cuisine and lots of veggie options.)
Ellie
I was in Philly for a day recently and ate at Marathon Grill. I really enjoyed it I’m a vegetarian but I eat shellfish). Very healthy food if you’re into that (I am)!
NYC Suburban Life??
Question to all the NYC area gals out there – SO and I have decided its time to take the next steps and really settle down, get married and start that family. Both of us grew up in New England towns and would like to set up our future family somewhere similar. With the new announcement about interest rates staying low we decided it might be a good time to start looking and move out to the ‘burbs. While we’ve lived in NYC for a while were not terribly familiar with the surrounding communities.
Some criteria – we are both active people who love to be outdoors, whether it be hiking, kayaking or just reading on the beach. Ideally we’d like to send the kiddies to private school but would like to buy in a good district and have the option to send them to public schools. We’re not huge golfers so accessibility to a club isn’t important. We’d like some diversity (if possible) and a nice town center w/ some coffee shops, restaurants, farmers market and gym would be nice.
Although it would be our first home, given the uncertainty of the housing market, were not necessarily looking for a starter home but rather something we can grow into should the market take a while (which I fear it will) to rebound.
Given our NE roots we are partial to Westchester County or Fairfield County (LI and NJ had more of a commercial feel) but because of work can’t go too far north – we’re thinking Greenwich, Darien, Bronxville or maybe Katona or Bedford. There are soooooo many communities and we hear lots of mixed things. Also, if you know of any with a larger 30something demographic that would be great (don’t want to be the youngest ones out there).
Many thanks in advance!
Kanye East
Will you be commuting to the city? Depending on where you are, Westchester/CT is more commutable via Metro North. But if you’re willing to cross the Hudson, there are some great towns in Rockland. Nyack & Piermont are wonderful, young, educated, diverse, good schools, right on the river, good restaurants, state parks; I could go on and on . . . .
Always a NYer
I went to college in Fairfield, CT and I loved it there. They had two main streets with great shopping (Post Road and Black Rock Tpke.), you’re not far from the beach, it’s an easy commute into NYC, there are some great restaurants, and the public schools are very well thought of. It is a college town with two universities so the student dynamic is predominant. Have you looked at Southport or Westport? Both of those towns are very nice as well.
My family lived in Greenwich for a year while I was in school and while I loved the great shopping there (5th Avenue a la Greenwich Avenue) and the proximity to NYC, I found the people to be two-cent millionaires. Never in my life had I been treated so bad at stores. I’m the type who smiles and says hello to most everyone I make eye contact with so maybe they weren’t used to that but still, it left a bad taste in my mouth about the place.
I’m orignally from LI and get what you’re saying about the commercial feeling. Good luck with the move!
anon
It depends on how far from NYC you want to go. In Fairfield County, the furthest you can go and have a one hour train ride is Westport or maybe Fairfield on a good train. Obviously Westchester is closer, but lot sizes tend to be larger in Fairfield County than Westchester, and property taxes much lower (while still plenty high). For good school districts in Fairfield County, check out Weston, Wilton, Westport, Fairfield… obviously New Canaan, Darien and Greenwich also have great schools but I find them more snooty. Weston is more rural than the others and has great hiking, Fairfield and Westport are larger with traditional chain shopping main streets and have beach areas. If you’re golfers, Westport dwellers get access to the town golf course (and pools, and very inexpensive beach passes – great perks for families with small children). Diversity is sort of minimal in all the above. If you want private schools and can skip the public ones, Norwalk has great beach areas, and north Stamford is nice and woodsy, both far more racially and economically diverse than the more upscale neighbors.
Anne-on
Greenwich and Darien both have nice downtown areas, but there doesn’t seem to be much diversity. IMHO, both areas are lovely but on the snootier side, and you may have a hard time connecting with other women who work and aren’t stay at home mom types.
Westport/Southport/Fairfield tend to be slightly more diverse with excellent schools. Fairfield has a lot more housing bargains and tends to attract a more young family demographic with the benefit of a lovely downtown area and its close to a beach/lake.
HLA
I’m from CT and it was a great place to grow up — lots of parks, good schools, the beach nearby, etc. I would recommend Greenwich or Stamford (especially North Stamford or Shippan) for their proximity to the city. People have mentioned in above posts a certain snootiness in CT, but this is really something that you have to get the feel of for yourself. Honestly, I went to a school with lots of diversity (both in terms of wealth and culturally) when I lived in Fairfield County and have very fond memories of living there.
Edwina
I would look for a place in Katonah (it has an “h”) in it. This is where I think Mr. Clinton and his wife live, and there is a Starbucks where you can meet them!
I once went there and he waived to me!!!!
I think you also have good schools there for when you have kids, and I heard that because of people with money, the taxes are lower then they would be elsewhere.
If you like the suburbs, I would look here because it is on a train line to Manhattan also.
PT lawyer
The Clintons actually live in Chappaqua, on Old Farm Road, off of Route 17. (BTDT, lol)
I believe they did do some house-hunting in Katonah a year or two ago, but I don’t think they moved.
PT lawyer
EDIT! Sorry, brain freeze. Old House Lane in Chappaqua.
I won’t give the number but suffice it to say, its the one with the black Secret Service sedans and SUVs in front of it. :)
SoHo
I grew up in Westport and loved it. Excellent schools, great beach, great town. It’s gotten much more upscale / commercial since I was younger (I’m only mid-twenties, so that’s happened fairly quickly), but I still think people there are nice and there’s at least religious diversity, if not racial (not sure whether that’s important to you), which is not necessarily true of all towns in the area. Frankly, the only reason I wouldn’t move back there with my own family is the commute… it’s at least 63-65min on the train and then you have to factor in getting to/from train stations on either end. My dad commuted for a long time and didn’t mind it, but it feels long to me when I go home. I think anon above characterized the other towns in Fairfield County very well in terms of the general feel of them, based on my experience.
Frankly, if you aren’t really planning to use the public schools, I would lean toward CT over Westchester. The property taxes are MUCH lower and the state income tax and sales taxes are lower too, though of course all of this could change in the coming years, who knows. In my mind, the main trade-off is the length of commute, and I suppose the character of each individual town, but I feel like Westchester and Fairfield County have a similar vibe in general from what I’ve seen.
Good luck on this next step in your life!
PT lawyer
I grew up in Westchester and still have family there. I agree overall with the posters so far, but also note — what NYC SuburbanLife is asking for is somewhat contradictory. If you want easy hiking, you’re not going to get younger people and closer to NYC for work, nor are you going to get shopping/activities.
Generally, for beautiful houses but iffier school districts, look at New Rochelle and Yonkers, if private is your direction anyway. Some of the houses are gorgeous, but the school are (for Westchester) relatively sub-par and may be too diverse for some; it also has a very short commute to NYC. Nearby in southern Westchester (short commute) are Pelham, Pelham Manor, Mamaroneck, and Larchmont, which have excellent school districts and, comparatively, lots of walkability/activities/restaurants, but also very high taxes and house prices. For skewing younger, look at the cities in Westchester — White Plains, New Rochelle, etc — but at any rate its not the same social life as NYC and the school districts have more mixed reviews.
For excellent and very diverse schools, as well as cheaper house prices, look at Ossining, Croton and Tarrytown — this is a longer commute, but if you get an express train you can be at Grand Central in 45 minutes. The “downers” to these school districts is their diversity — if you look strictly at test scores, you will not think they are good districts. However, Ossining had EIGHT Intel science award finalists this year — more than any other school in the country, and tying with Bronx Science. So it pays to look deeper than test scores when you evaluate a school district. Croton is also rather woodsy and has a defininte “granola’ vibe.
Bedford and Katonah definitely have that New England village feel, but its a long commute to NYC and aside from a few cafes, it does not have many entertainment options, and it definitely does not skew younger.
My sister lives in Katonah now, and although she loves it, there is definitely a ‘keeping up with the Joneses’ feel — although people are not particularly flashy and the town does have a laid back feel, it is an extremely affluent community and you may feel a bit bereft if you do not take ski vacations, beach houses, new cars, etc every year.
MJ
I live in southern Westchester, and PT Lawyer gives good advice. If you’re planning on private schools anyway you can buy in places that are cheaper and whose school systems are not as good. When we bought, I checked the train schedules – to me it makes a big difference that I can catch a train every half hour if I work late rather than waiting an hour. And while it may not seem like it now, there’s a big difference between a train ride of 35 minutes and 45 or 50 minutes when you want to get home to your family.
Ebro Fin
I live in Fairfield County, but as we are on the Internet, will be circumspect about exact location.
The first consideration is how far your office is from Grand Central, which will define that part of your commute. I think Fairfield is too far north, lower Fairfield county is a better commute.
Greenwich has a reputation for being wealthy, but Old Greenwich is more affordable. Both Wilton and Westport have higher per capita incomes.
Suggest New Canaan, Wilton, Westport, Darien, Greenwich in that order. All have mixed populations in terms of age and think you will have no trouble finding people in your age group, they are attracted to the schools. Speaking of the schools, in some of these towns, the public schools are better than most private.
I love living in Fairfield County, it’s safe, close to the city, the shore, skiing, and almost anything else you want to do. The only drawback is that it’s a bit of a rarefied atmosphere, almost everyone has money, and this is just not how most of America lives.
Divaliscious11
Well, Bridgeport is in Fairfield County, and most of the folks who live there don’t have money, but the rest is fairly spot on…
Anonymous
Bergen County has diverse townships, cities & hamlets– diverse in all senses, as in someone from everywhere and something for everyone (more country, more city, etc.)
Divaliscious11
We lived in Weston for a while and really liked it. (In fact, we kind of kick ourselves for selling when we did, but oh well – things have worked out fine in the end) Not as diverse as we liked, but it was right next to Fairfield so we were okay. If you are even thinking about moving out there and taking Metro North, I’d get on the waiting list for a parking space now… It may be different but it used to be quite difficult to get parking at the train station
Lucky07
Don’t necessarily skip NJ. Morristown, and the surrounding areas, are a lot more colonial than commercial. Cute town green, lots of historic houses, and a bunch of private schools nearby, especially in Madison. And Chatham, which is not far away, was listed as one of Forbes best small towns this year. The train goes to NYC Penn Station or Hoboken PATH.
JL
Rowayton! It’s a lovely section of Norwalk along the water. There is a very active civic association and a very welcoming feel to the community.
Two cents
Where can I buy those rubber/plastic backings for earrings? I’m talking about the kind of earrings that dangle that you hook on to your ear. Most of them don’t have a backing and I’ve lost a few lately because they fall out. Looking to buy a small bag of them, thanks.
Bunkster
Claire’s or one of the other accessories stores in the mall.
Kanye East
Amazon.
SAlit-a-gator
Michaels has them.
Another Sarah
I saw a bunch in the checkout lines at Target today, near the travel-sized Aquaphor and chapstick.
A
amazon
anonymous
Ladies,
Have any of you lawyers successfully transitioned from a law firm to an in-house position? If so, how did you handle the interview? I have an upcoming interview for an in-house position I am excited about. In preparing for the interview, I can’t think of how to answer the inevitable question of why are you looking to transition in-house. The true answer to is that I am tired of dealing with billable hours and would like a more 9-5/6pm ish job. Also, I think an in-house job is more conducive to my desire to start a family soon. Obviously I won’t be saying the bit about starting a family at an interview. However, I am afraid, saying I want a more 9-5 job makes me sound lazy. Any thoughts on how to answer this question?
I’d also appreciate any other thoughts on interviewing for an in-house position as this will be my first of such an interview. I will be meeting several individuals at the interview, not all of whom are lawyers.
Thanks.
Selia
Go online and find out as much as you can about the company from its website and filings.
One aspect that I like about being in-house is the opportunity to prevent problems from arising, where at a firm, I would be involved only after the problem had arisen. Another thing I like is that you can be involved in a variety of work, where I was more segmented at a firm.
Good luck!
Anonymous
Just be aware that many in-house positions are not 9-5. I really enjoy my in-house position for a number of reasons, but it is certainly not 9-5 (or even close), and I wouldn’t say it is better here for people who want a family (luckily i don’t).
My impression is that if the company is a 9-5 place, then the interviewers will tout that. If after really thinking about what you want in your career, the only change you want is go 9-5, then I think you should say something about better hours/life balance, etc. because if that’s the culture they won’t think you’re lazy, and if it’s not, then you may not want the position anyway.
eh230
I am doing this right now. I worked as a litigator at an IP boutique and am moving in-house. One answer, that was true for me, was that I wanted to be closer to the business side of things. I am happier interacting and talking with people to help them make decisions than I am sitting alone in my office writing briefs. Another, as a litigator, I am trained to assess risk, and I wanted to apply this to the business side of things. Also, can you connect somehow to what the company does or sells? Maybe it is a software company and you are a tech geek, etc.
One question that I asked of all of my interviewers was what they liked best about the company/their job and what they would change if they could. Everyone gave a different answer, and the answers help you to learn a lot about the company and whether you would be a good fit.
Take a look at the Glass Hammer website. They recently had an article about the 5 questions you should ask at an interview. I used most of these during my interview, and I think they were great. For example, one asks the interviewer how they think the position will evolve based on the vision/strategies of the company going forward. Another was, how do you see me assisting you in your tasks/job.
When you interview in-house, everyone knows that one reason to transition is the seemingly better work/life balance. As someone mentioned below, that is not always true. If it is true, however, people will mention it during your interview. I know that they did in mine. In contrast, when I interviewed for a big law firm, everyone emphasized that the job was certainly not 8-5.
Anon in LA
You can say that you want to get to know one company, in depth, and see long-term projects through. As outside counsel, you sometimes get handed discrete tasks, and you bounce around from client to client. Going in-house enables you to specialize in one type of business, and one company — and you can just say simply that this appeals to you.
Also, you don’t have to say anything negative about the law firm — you don’t have to say you hate billable hours or anything. Just say, as far as law firms go, yours is great, and it’s been a great experience. But you’re looking for something different now.
Good luck!
darby
i did it (big law to in-house) & have been in-house for a number of years now & have interviewed people coming in. your real answer is honest & why a lot of people go in, so i think it’s fair to say it for part of your answer – i personally appreciate the candor & like that someone isn’t a gunner type. it fits with the culture at many in-house jobs. another thought is that a nice benefit of being in-house is dealing with issues before the become real problems — it’s much more proactive. it’s a spin on the canned line you hear about “wanting one client” that would probably resonate with a lot of in-house attorneys. your challenge coming from a firm will be convincing a company that you can be practical & strategic from an operations perspective rather than a solely legal perspective. i’d try to highlight experience you have doing broader counseling for one client or any secundments you may have had.
SV in House
I doubt people will ask you why you want to leave a law firm — most of them have that background and understand. Do not suggest that you are doing it for better hours, less stress, so you can start a family — all of that conveys that you think you work harder than they do (which may or may not be true).
Things to think about moving in house: are you used to having everything reviewed before it is sent to the client? The biggest change for me was that I had complete autonomy, which was great, but also scary. Many legal departments have significantly less admin support. Are you OK with that? One of the things that I love is that I get to know my clients well and become not only a legal advisor, but also a business advisor. The downside of this is that you only have one client. Are you specialized such that doing your work will for only one (group of) clients will be limiting?
All that said, I love my in house job. I am challenged and work hard, but have way more flexibility than I ever had at Big Law.
Lydia
Good luck with your interview. I think the ladies above had very good suggestions on things to say if asked why you are looking to move. I also said that I wanted to be closer to the business side of things and that I wanted to be more involved as issues arose with a business rather than being brought on later in the game. I added that as a lawyer at a firm, I felt like I was a deal jockey jumping from deal to deal without ever getting to know the client. I think it is legit to say you want better work/life balance – no one should be surprised to hear that. I would not phrase it as wanting a 9 to 5 job though. I think I said that when you are at a firm, you are on call all the time, which makes it difficult to plan life outside of work. I was looking for a place that had challenging work, but still let me have a life outside of work.
Divaliscious11
1. Do your research on the company. Understand what they do, their history and think about how you can add value.
2. Understand that in-house practice is not the same as in the firm. You will need to, and be willing to, expand your thinking beyond the four walls of your document. You will need to understand nt simply what the client wants, but the business objective, because just saying No is a career killer, but if you understand where the objective is, you can get them to the end point.
3. Understand that at law firms, lawyers are income generators, in-house, you are a cost center, and you will have to learn to teach the client about the value you add, because it won’t show up on the P&L (which is a good thing, because most legal shows up as cost/lawsuits and settlements).
4. You will need to be less risk averse, while recognizing that you better be clear on what the risks are….
Why all of this for interview prep? Because right now, while the in-house job market is picking up, quite frankly, we have our pick of candidates, so if you get the interview, unless you are just lying on your resume, you have the underlying legal skills to do the job, its the other stuff we are trying to find out. Once that is determined, its about personality and fit. Will you be perceptive about office politics, both within the company and within the legal department? Will you be out for self, or will you see part of your job is to make your GC look brilliant (if for no other reason than hiring you) etc…
Good luck. Its competitive out there……
books
Looking for some mindless but well-written and entertaining reading ala Emily Giffin. Any recommendations?
Anonymous
Shopaholic series, more recent stuff by Nora Roberts (she’s a romance writer but her stuff is very mainstream, well written, and doesn’t have embarrassing covers), Meg Cabot’s adult stuff.
Would love to see what other people come up with as this is my guilty pleasure reading…
M in CA
Attachments by Rainbow Rowell. Highly recommend for what you’re looking for.
Em
I’ve liked some of Marian Keyes’ stuff.
anon in Texas
sloppy first series. it’s young adult, but really really good.
also, second for marian keyes.
KL
The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau-Banks, by E. Lockhart
IA_Eng
Jennifer Weiner.
Eponine
Seconded, and Laura Lippman if you like mysteries.
Ebro Fin
There’s a new Laura Lippmann book out this coming Tuesday!
Ekaterin Nile
Love Laura Lippman!
Bunkster
This isn’t chick lit per se, but I loved The Last Letter from Your Lover. Reminiscent of An Affair to Remember
Amy H.
“Undomestic Goddess” (by the Shopaholic author, Sophie Kinsella — and about a woman attorney running from London Biglaw); “The Little Lady Agency” by Hester Browne; and Every Boy’s Got One” by Meg Cabot. Also second the recommendations for Marian Keyes (particularly “The Other Side of the Story” and “Sushi for Beginners”).
I also love Jasper Fforde, but he’s not chick lit. The first one is “The Eyre Affair.”
michelle
just finished Before I Go to Sleep and it was really gripping. also liked Silver Girl
anon
I like Mary Kay Andrews when I really want to not think and wallow in chick-lit
Jen
Just finished “Girls in White Dresses” by Jennifer Close. It’s in the same vein.
anotheranon
my favourite chick lit book is Everyone Worth Knowing (same author as Devil Wears Prada I believe)
KW
Finance question…I’m a May 2010 law grad. When I was a law clerk at a firm during law school I contributed to a 401(k) account. The firm (well, the company that holds the 401(k)) is now forcing me to do something with it because the balance is less than $1000. Correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe that balance is also too low to be able to roll into an IRA or Roth IRA. So what are my options? I would rather not cash it out and lose so much to taxes. I’m currently working at a judicial clerkship, so because this job is temporary, I don’t have a 401(k).
keep it tax free if you can
Does your clerkship position offer a 403(b) or 457(b)? If so, you can roll it into one of those. If not, can you open an IRA at Scwhab and roll it into the IRA?
Unsolicited advice: You are young, so I would put it in whatever index mutual fund the tax free account you end up in offers and not worry too much about it.
karenpadi
You can roll it over into an individual IRA account or maybe a Roth IRA depending on your income. A Roth IRA is better for most people if you qualify. But do your research.
Here’s what you do:
1. Go to an investing site (I use Vanguard and recommend them).
2. Set up an IRA. It’s pretty easy. The hardest part for me getting my beneficiary (in case I die) information. *Some sites might have a minimum balance, so you might need to bring the balance up to $1000. If you add money this way, you might get a discount on your taxes but ask your accountant.
3. Write down the address/trustee information for making a rollover contribution.
4. Go to you 401(k) provider and ask for a rollover check–give them the trustee information.
5. If there’s an electronic transfer option, do that. Trust me. Otherwise, they will send you a paper check (in your name) that you then need to snail mail to your trustee.
6. Pick out a fund or two to invest. With so little money in there, I’d go with a “crazy” investment and see how my risk plays out. But that’s just me.
7. You are done!
Bunkster
Ladies in the Boston area – are you watching this storm? My entire floor is staring out the windows. Hail, thunder, lightning, high winds. And it came on so suddenly.
I’m supposed to be leaving in about 15 minutes. Starting my vacation a little early, but I’m going to get soaked just crossing the street.
AD
At home today in the western suburbs and it’s just hitting here…. Husband just called to let me know that he wasn’t leaving as early as he thought!
Kady
The thunder was frightening.
R in Boston
I’ve been in a windowless conference room for the past two hours. Noticed on the way back to my desk that it is sunny out and was feeling silly for having brought my umbrella today at all. Then I read your comment – the weather is crazy here!
Hope you got home dry.
AnonHomeBuyer
Some of you may remember me from a few weeks ago- we were trying to decide between two homes. One we loved that was more expensive and one a little cheaper that we liked. We made an offer on the one we loved and we didn’t get it. We almost immediately made an offer on the second, partly out of desperation and wanting to be done with this process, and partly because we did like it. We had an out in the contract and my excitement pretty quickly turned to intense anxiety about a major flaw the property had that cannot be changed and I convinced myself it was a dealbreaker. DH thought it would be fine and wanted to be done so said he would like to just live there but that if I would be unhappy it was a dealbreaker for him, too. We canceled and now I am having anxiety thinking I did the wrong thing!
DH and I are really ready to move, and are only really open to two fairly small neighborhoods, so now we have no option but to wait. I am sure this is making everything worse.
I pretty much have no question other than to ask is it this hard for everyone? I am seriously considering getting on some sort of anxiety medication until this is over. My mother and DH think I am going crazy, and I am starting to agree. I always have trouble making decisions but I am literally nauseous and not sleeping some nights.
Kitty
Personally, I think you did the right thing. I’m also going through the homebuying process, and the last thing you want is to be stuck with a place that isn’t right for you. Something good will come along!
anon
What does DH stand for?
Annie
dear husband.
anon
Thanks! I knew it had something to do with husband but couldn’t figure out what the D meant =/
just Karen
Dear Husband.
Kanye East
Designated Hitter.
SarahJ
+1 to Kanye :)
Research, not Law
Homebuying IS stressful. You do have to go with your gut, so you probably made the right call on canceling. I think we made offers on three houses before the one that we bought. Two weren’t accepted, one we cancelled after our current house went on the market. We really struggled with one house that was amazing, but in a terrible location. We still think about that house. Honestly, I drive by it every once in a while, which always reassures me that we wouldn’t have been happy with the neighborhood.
Important things to remember:
(a) There is no perfect house. Simply doesn’t exist. Something will be wrong with every single house you look at. It may be the layout, damage, a neighbor, the price, etc. But there WILL be something. You just have to find a house with flaws you can accept. Much like a spouse ;)
(b) There’s no rush. Take your time. Since it’s stressing you out, take a break entirely. You can only choose from the houses available in the moment, so if nothing is right, wait.
AnonHomeBuyer
Thanks!
This makes me feel slightly better… but I worry this will be “the house” that I will drive by and wonder.
Unfortunately, there is a bit of a rush, which is no way to buy a house. We REALLY don’t like the apartment we are in now. We have been seriously looking for four months already, and if we don’t find something soon, we will either have to a) stay in this apartment we don’t like and is very inconvenient for DH or b) find an apartment that is more convenient for him but will cost us more than a mortgage would. It is kind of a lose/lose, which is what makes me think this “flaw” is maybe not so bad.
If anyone was wondering, the flaw is that it is VERY close (probably less than 15″) to a major four lane road. The realtor insists once it is finished the noise will be minimal, but I just don’t know.
Research, not Law
When you drive by on the four lane road, you’ll know you made the right decision.
Do not rush into buying. Seriously. Renew your lease monthly until you find something.
You may want to consider opening up your search area. My brother and his wife opened their seach (after six months) and bought a beautiful house in a beautiful neighborhood. It’s not close to either workplace, but that was what they were willing to give on.
AnonHomeBuyer
I wish that location wasn’t important to us, but it is our number one priority. I have “looked” in the surrounding areas to just see what we might be missing, but we really want to be near one of two large bodies of water in our area so we are quite limited by that, especially given the price constraints in those areas.
anon
That seems like a no brainer to me. If it helps, write a list. I don’t think you’ll have just noise on it. It’s also not good for safety (any likley-to-wander child or pet that could come into your life or visit) ; long-term health (who wants to breathe exhaust all the time?); ability to peacefully entertain, garden, BBQ, or do any other outdoor activity; etc.
Just be patient and keep looking. When the “right” or “almost right” one comes along, I think you’ll both want to go for it.
FWIW, I listen to both my mom and dad complain constantly about the house they moved into right now because they felt pressure to buy since their old house had sold. (Eech claims the other pressured them to get it. Sigh.) Although it may feel like a bummer right now, keep in mind that you’re in a great position because you rent and should take full advantage that the flexiblity affords–which is not settlling for something that doesn’t feel right–especially something that can’t be altered (like damage, layout, etc.).
TK1
That sounds like a deal breaker if you plan on having any pets or kids! Even if you don’t let them outside it only takes one time for your dog, cat or baby to run out onto major 4 lane road before you can catch them. I’m normally not paranoid about stuff, but major highways are not family friendly.
AnonHomeBuyer
We don’t have (or want) kids or pets, does that change anything? I was a little concerned about the exhaust as well, but we would be on the top floors so I don’t know how that would change anything (it is only a 3 floor building). DH said we could still get it, but that makes me feel even more crazy!
Makeup Junkie
You don’t want it. I live off a busy blvd on the second floor and if I leave my road-facing windows open, the dust that gets inside is positively unbearable.
anonymous
No!
What they say is true. . . location, location, location. If you are spending this much time worrying about the location, how much time do you think every potential buyer of your place will spend? How many won’t even look at it once they map it? It also sounds like a condo building — with a poor location you will probably start to find that you don’t have many owner occupied units. This will further decrease the value of your purchase and will make it more difficult to sell your unit (many lenders have stringent rules on what percentage of a building needs to owner occupied for them to make a primary residence loan).
Trust your gut on this one. Think long term. Eating 6mos-1 year of higher rent will be a small price to pay compared to being stuck in a place you don’t like.
SF Girl
I think you are trying to talk yourself into a sub-standard home because you are desperate to get out of your current situation. Bad idea, IMO.
Honestly, though it may be a hard pill to swallow, I would suck it up and move to another apartment that you and DH both like. Stay there for a year while you slow the home search down and can find something you absolutely adore (within reason since no home is “perfect”). Yes, it will mean moving twice in two years. But a.) you obviously loathe where you are living now to the point of being unable to cope in the environment for much longer, and b.) you hate it so much it’s pushing you to make (almost) irrational decisions. Moving to another apartment/condo will let you take a deep breath and re-evaluate the entire situation. Maybe it will take some of the stress of so that you can decide what you are *really* looking for and want. And yes, it may cost you a small fortune in the short term–you may pay a little more than a mortgage (probably still less than a mortgage + taxes + insurance + upkeep!). In the long term though it may be the best decision you’ll ever make.
Take your time. This is NOT a process to rush or to “settle” on just because you feel like you’re out of time.
Amy H.
I agree with all of this!
E
Is it the front or the back of the house that faces a four lane road? Are there any rules about what kind of fence you can erect?
My aunt and uncle live in a house with a yard that backs up to a major, six lane road. They have a privacy fence (as do all their neighbors) and if I didn’t know the road was there, well, I’d never know it was there. Also, in the suburb where I live there are a lot of houses facing onto busy streets; most people have a front yard with a fence and maybe some big trees to block the view and noise.
AnonHomeBuyer
It’s in a small condo building (less than 10 units). One whole wall of the unit faces the road (luckily not the master bedroom). There will be no fence, there literally isn’t room for it it is that close!
DH told me to move on and he is not living there and I need to stop being so indecisive so I guess that’s it for this place. I just wish I wasn’t having such a hard time with this whole process.
ATC
My husband and I are closing on a place in one week. The whole process is crazy stressful – I don’t think I’ve properly digested a single thing in weeks. You are normal! Best of luck in your house hunt!
Scully
You might want to check out The Anxiety & Phobia Workbook by Edmund J. Bourne. It’s aimed at people with anxiety disorders, but it has tons of techniques for dealing with stress, sleeplessness, repetitive thinking. It sounds like you just have anxiety of this one aspect of your life, and that’s completely rational.
Check it out in a bookstore to see if it would be helpful. It’s kind of like counseling-lite. If you are really having trouble, or have anxiety about other things in your life, I’d suggest a therapist who specializes in cognitive behavioral therapy.
I know how you feel about buying. Right now, we are saving for a down payment for the next two years, but our upstairs neighbors are driving us crazy and our apartment is small. If we move, we’ll eat up our down payment savings. It’s so tempting to want to be out NOW. We almost borrowed the down payment from a relative to buy an amazing house with everything we wanted. The downside was it is in a really really unsafe neighborhood. In five to ten years, it will likely be an awesome neighborhood, but we just can’t take that chance with our safety right now. At least, I keep telling myself that…
Keep looking, you’ll be all right. I promise.
anon
This may sound nuts, but it worked out great for my sister-in-law. She and her husband made a flyer about how much they loved the neighborhood and wanted to buy there and put in by the mailbox or door of every house that appealed to them in the neighborhood. They got a call from someone who was planning to sell soon but hadn’t yet listed the house.
Divaliscious11
yes.
Kitty
Question to any San Francisco ladies who read this board: This may be a weird question, but do you all have a gym you can recommend? I’m new to the area, and will be working in the Financial District. Any suggestions? I like to work out before work, and get ready at the gym, so I need a place with not just good equipment but decent shower facilities. TIA!
SF Bay Associate
The nicest club down there is the Bay Club – gorgeous.
http://www.sfbayclub.com/web/site/
SFer
Depending on where you are living, the JCC on California at Presideo. There is also Sports Club LA downtown.
anon
i love sports club LA – been going for years.
Anon3
Don’t know the SF area but please avoid Bally’s. My credit card has been hacked for Bally’s transactions and I haven’t been a member for years – I tell people looking for a new gym to avoid them at all costs.
karenpadi
I’m in San Jose but, if you are interested in crossfit, LaLanne Fitness is an excellent gym. They have on-site showers and clean bathrooms. They’re in SOMA which is near the Financial district. SOMA is a pretty hip neighborhood for young professionals and start-ups.
B.
I was a member of Crunch in my former city and had a positive experience with it. While traveling to SF, I worked out at the New Montgomery location and had no complaints. They usually have a great deal – $50/month – for new grads, if that applies to you. The showers were always plentiful and clean in my experience.
MJ
Second this. Crunch is good because there’s usually another branch in your neighborhood if you live in “typical” young neighborhoods in SF–Pac Heights, Marina, Polk St., etc. I worked out at that gym about a year ago. There is one trainer there, Mindy, who is AMAZING.
However, their locker room gets really hot and humid, so I preferred to work out at the end of the day vs. arriving at work a hot mess. It’s cheap though–about $60/month for multiple clubs.
Again–MINDY IS AWESOME.
If you want a gym that’s more “fancy towels, fancy products” I’d recommend Equinox or Sports Club LA. However, Sports Club LA is not really close to much of the financial district, so you have to factor that in.
Last, if you really like the Bar Method, there are a few around, no membership required. Check those out too!
conbrio
Equinox on Pine Street is beautiful, and it smells like eucalyptus all the time. You have to wait in line to take a shower in the morning, but the line is usually pretty short – just a couple of minutes. You might also check out the Bar Method in the Embarcadero Center – they offer a lot of classes and I believe they have shower facilities. The Club One locations in the financial district are on the small side but nice; that might be a good choice if one of them is very close to your office. I would avoid the 24 Hour Fitness locations in and around the FD; the new one is really small, and the older ones are really run down. Good luck!
Anonymous
Club One is good and has two downtown locations. 24 Hour Fitness is cheap and the showers are not nice, but it’s also downtown.
AB
Just a recent reader here but could so appreciate anyone’s advice.
Am in a policy development program in government and have been working in a very busy group for almost a year. The lead on our file, who I’ve been supporting directly, informed me on Monday that he has to take several months of leave due to a family illness, and as of this coming Monday I am to consider myself in charge. This includes direct reporting to senior management, managing staff both here and working with directors across the country, being responsible for a several million dollar budget – essentially operating several levels above what I’m supposed to. Our director is being very supportive, has confidence in my ability to handle our requirements, but I am trying not to freak out.
Have you ever been suddenly thrust into a leadership position? I feel like I can do this but how do I move from being part of the team to in charge? Suddenly interacting with superiors as an equal? Any advice is appreciated!
J
Congrats!
Our assistant director unexpectedly went into labor on the day that our director left for vacation (her due date was supposed to be a couple weeks after the director returned). That left me in charge, plus she had had left a couple of very high-impact projects that needed to be completed. I don’t want to give away a ton of personal details, but running our department for 2 weeks turned out to be a huge professional opportunity for me, plus my boss basically adored me for covering for him so he didn’t have to cancel his vacation.
So, I’m sure you can do it, and congrats on the opportunity! Go get ’em.
Research, not Law
I’ve been thrown into a similar situation. I’m looking at as an opportunity to show I can handle it. I figure it’s a good chance, since everyone understands that I’m filling in and should therefore be understanding about the little things that may go wrong. I’m hoping, anyway!
Good luck! I’m sure you’ll be great!
Cginnyc
I have had that experience. My manager had a mini nervous breakdown and decided to take an indefinite sabbatical. I was asked to take over. I was dreading it, not so much for the responsibility, but because that particular role was considered very high stress (the person before my manager had moved to a different continent in order to leave the role). I ended up doing really well in the role and when I decided to leave the company, it was on a strong note. A few things that worked for me:
1. Don’t be apologetic. You might feel an urge to reassure your current peers and direct reports that you are still one of them or that the decision to make you the leader was random.. it could have been any of them. Resist. You were chosen for this role so you must deserve it. You can continue to be friendly to everyone but don’t lose sleep if you notice your current peers being slightly distant as they try to deal with the change. It’s natural and things should fall into place eventually.
2. I strongly believe that regardless of the level or role, making your boss/senior mgmt look good but since you are in a leadership position, don’t be afraid to make decisions on your own. Or if you have always wanted to try a different approach for your team and take risks… do so now. Start small and make sure you keep your managers informed but leadership means that sometimes you just need to inform people of your decisions, not get approval for every single one of them.
3. If you need to dress the part in order to feel more comfortable in your new role, don’t hesitate to do so. You’ll blend in more easily with superiors and feel confident. I didn’t go from jeans to suits but I started wearing blazers now and then or fancier fabrics. No one remarked on the changes but I felt more confident.
Good luck – I am sure you will do great!
Anonymous
Be proud of you!
Query your predecessor.
Take advantage of beginning period to ask questions rather than fake it. Once you’re in a while, that chance will be gone.
Have confidence– he/they chose you for a reason.
You can do it!
AD
Several years ago my then-boss left suddenly after a spat with management over his lack of promotions. I found out to my shock that they had let him go knowing that I was the succession plan (though I had not in any way been groomed for the job).
In hindsight, one thing that I wished I’d asked when offered the position is what kind of support I could get. In particular, if you know an area where you feel especially uncomfortable you may want to highlight that – and you can do it in a fairly positive way by listing the things that you *are* comfortable with. For me, the actual job responsibilities were reasonably manageable, but as you’d mentioned the relationships were a bit more challenging. I found managing my former peers was particularly difficult, and probably having some coaching or at least a sounding board to navigating this would have been very helpful. Perhaps requesting a formal mentor for this period of time would be beneficial.
I was (also) not given a promotion, at least immediately, and found that some people who were my peers in terms of job responsibilities but not title did not address things to me but went to my boss instead. To prevent this type of thing happening, you may want to make sure that your current or interim boss sends out a broad and very specific communication letting your team know exactly what your responsibilities are – “AB will be assuming all of the responsibilities of AB’s Boss during his absence” or else making it very clear which things are or are not your job.
Not sure if this would apply to you, but I also did not get to replace myself immediately. Is it viable to expect you to fill both positions, or is there someone who can step into some or all of your previous responsibilities as well? I think figuring that out ASAP – particularly if you can find one or two people that you can lean on – is important to help you to keep your head above water. I was surprised to find out that the person who ended up being my most loyal advocate was my most senior peer, and having her support was extremely helpful in getting others to accept me in the way that she did.
Finally, remember that there was a reason why you were the person chosen to take this on – clearly your organization has a lot of faith in you. So enjoy the opportunity, and good luck!
found a peanut
EMERGENCY THREADJACK!!
Just got chocolate on my 92% silk, 8% elastan skirt. It’s dark chocolate, if that matters.
Tag says dry clean only.
If I dab with water, am I going to ruin the skirt?
found a peanut
This is ridiculous. Now i just spilled coffee on myself.
non
I believe silk will spot if you only get one part wet, without getting the whole thing wet. But, you may be able to reverse the spotting if you later wash the whole thing in water (following silk washing rules, of course)
What about freezing it to harden the chocolate and then brushing the chocolate off? I have no idea if this will work. Basically you don’t want to rub it into the fibers of the fabric.
Anon
Do you have extra clothes to change into? Change and take what you were wearing to the dry cleaners immediately after work if possible. The longer you wait to clean it the harder it will be to get the stain out.
found a peanut
Nothing to change into, but I’m not that worried about looking silly at work. The dry cleaner’s is right down the block from me so I will go there right after I change out of my work clothes.
anonymiss
I wouldn’t dab with water. I’ve definitely ruined silk before when I did that. I would leave it as is then take it immediately to a dry-cleaner.
Miriam
I didn’t even know you had to be that careful with silk! Good thing I stick to cotton because I would certainly ruin everything!
kz
don’t dab. It will spot. My dry cleaning lady once scolded me for doing that. If you’re getting silk wet, it’s usually got to be the whole thing (though I’ve found some of my shirts don’t spot, for reasons I don’t understand). However, you could probably handwash it. I’ve recently developed a rather high tolerance for hand washing silk/largely silk items that say dry clean only and haven’t ruined anything yet. (I got sick of nyc dry cleaning prices). elastan is just spandex, I think, so it shouldn’t hurt it to be hand washed/dripped dried, and you can always steam out wrinkles. Got a scarf you can creatively drape to get you through the rest of the day?
Makeup Junkie
Use baby wipes for this. Gets out stains and won’t ruin it.
Just E
Baby wipes are seriously amazing.
TK
Ladies, how do you deal with feeling disappointed in yourself at work? I’m a second year associate in NY biglaw, and I have been absolutely slammed these past couple months. On the one hand, I can see that as a positive thing, in that people would not continue to give me work if they were unhappy with my performance. On the other hand, however, I can also see that the workload is starting to take a toll on my performance. I keep handing in assignments that I know are not my best work merely because I have run out of time to do a better job. So far, nobody has said anything explicit, but I am just waiting for the likely negative feedback, bad reviews at end-of-year evaluations, etc. And even worse, I just feel bad about myself and how I haven’t been doing great work. Any advice on how to get through it?
Research, not Law
Have you checked in with your project leads? I’ve never had a supervisor or manger who didn’t appreciate having me ask if my timelines and work have been meeting their needs. Sometimes I feel like I’m doing a horrible job and any minute my supervisor is going to call me into his office. But then, turns out everyone’s really satisfied. …so maybe that feeling is what drives over-achievers. Maybe slackers don’t worry about these things?
Lydia
If you have so much work on your plate that you cannot do a great job, you should start pushing back on work assignments. It is tough to say no, but the alternative is worse. The next time something new comes up, tell the partner assigning it that you have X, Y and Z to do so the earliest you can get it to him/her is ….
The Online Shopper
TK – re: feeling like you may not be doing your best work because you are slammed – I have been in this position. I think that it is likely that you are being harder on yourself then you deserve, but putting that aside, I think it is appropriate to manage the partners’/assignors’ expectations. When they assign you a new task inform them that you are multi-tasking on a number of interesting, challenging and high priority projects at the moment, and that you would love to take on [this one] as well because you can manage it, but you wanted them to be clear with them upfront.
By managing their expectations you are letting them know what to expect up front which will leave them with little room to complain after the fact.
Chanel Lover
How do you ladies feel about Chanel No. 5? I love it and it’s one of my favorite perfumes, has been since I got my first bottle from my mom at age ten. Most people either love it or hate it. I think it’s a classic and wear it to work on occasion as well as when I go out. What about you – love or hate?
Also, I’m debating whether or not to buy their Vitalumiere foundation. Have you tried it? If so, I’d love to hear what you thought of it. I just finished my sample and while I really liked it, I’m still on the fence about purchasing it.
I heart Chanel
I love Vitalumiere. I’ve used it for years. Great coverage, matches my skin tone exactly and a bottle lasts a long time.
Jas
I think No. 5 is still very classic and beautiful. I actually love the Premiere flanker as well. Neither are my style of perfume (I’m not an aldehyde girl), but I can still appreciate it.
Jas
I’m more of a Coromandel/Sycamore girl myself. Why must Chanel make such beautiful and expensive perfumes?!
AIMS
I like and wear (sometimes) No. 19. I don’t dislike 5, but I think 19 is much better (for me) (and for Coco, who also rejected 5 after a while and wore 19 instead). If you are at all interested, there was a fascinating NPR interview a while back with this woman who wrote a book about Ms. Chanel and about No. 5 — really interesting stuff.
Love chanel foundation. Not sure which one I get but it’s the one that’s supposed to make you all dewy & luminous. That and Laura Mercier (which I recommend above) are the only two that have ever worked for me; for some reason most others look cakey and heavy on me. It’s not cheap, but I really think nice foundation is well worth it, and you really don’t need a lot of it, so it lasts for a really long time.
AIMS
I think this may be just an excerpt (I recall this being a 40 min. piece) but it’s what I found:
http://www.npr.org/2011/01/01/132480988/the-enduring-allure-of-chanel-no-5
Anonymous
I’ve worn No. 5 for years — like the eau de toilette for summer and the perfume for most of the rest of the year.
I actually prefer the Vitalumiere Aqua to the regular Vitalumiere because it feels lighter, but in terms of quality they’re both fantastic. I also, for what it’s worth, love the Chanel waterproof eyeliners…
Kanye East
I know it’s considered a masterpiece by noses who actually know anything about perfume, but I absolutely cannot stand Chanel No. 5.
Another Lawyer
Hate it. It is one of the only perfumes I’m allergic to.
Lydia
Absolutely hate it. My sister in law gave it to me as a present once. I felt bad, but never used it. Forunately, my best friend loves it so I gave it to her – at least it wasn’t wasted.
anon
I like No. 5 but it seems a little “old” to me. I wear Madamoiselle, which I find light and fresh. But I still wear No. 5 for special occasions.
Ekaterin Nile
Not a fan, but I’m biased because my mother wears it, and smokes, and I associate the combined smell with my fears for her health.
jcb
I liked the vitalumiere (though to be fair, I only tried it on once in-store), but I preferred the Giorgio Armani Face Fabric. It is so light – you can’t feel it or see it at all, though it magically somehow provides coverage. My skin is super-sensitive, and it doesn’t dry it out at all.
Chanel No 5 smells nice, but it does make me think of an older generation.
chanelanon
Love the Vitalumiere Aqua. Feels like I’m barely wearing anything, it doesn’t sink into wrinkles, and, I swear, it makes my skin smoother.
Samantha
To those who remember my post from a few weeks ago about bottle refusal – an update. [To those who dont want to hear about babies, please skip!]
I’m back to work now and the little one will still not take much from a bottle. Phasing in my timings – I come back mid-afternoon so that I can skip one to two feeds rather than a whole 10-hour workday. On good days the kiddo will eat a couple of ounces total, on bad days just an ounce. It’s been a few weeks and the trendline seems to point downwards instead of upwards!
This is taking a huge toll on me and DH. Our weekends are filled with us coaxing the kiddo to take the bottle (since we don’t want to break the pattern of daytime feeds=bottle) and we can’t do anything else fun! Leave alone that we’re not getting much sleep either.
I’m concerned about this schedule affecting me professionally, and don’t know when I can work full days given that we haven’t seen improvement.
The doc says milk is their primary source of nutrition (not solids) until one year of age. Will I have to continue on this part-time schedule for many more months?! Help!
eh230
Could your daycare provider bring the baby to you at work? Have you tried different kinds of bottles/nipples? I tried 10 different kinds of pacifiers until I found one that my son liked. Have you take a look at kelly mom dot com? It is a good resource for breast feeding and may have some good tips.
CB
I didn’t see your prior post, so I’m not sure if you’ve tried any of these ideas, but sometimes babies don’t like the bottle because it’s more work than the breast. Have you tried a faster flow nipple or even a different shape nipple? What about a sippy cup? If you try a sippy make sure you remove the valve inside that makes it non-spill (if it has one). Those valves make it really hard to get anything out of the sippy. I had a friend whose baby didn’t like the bottle so they taught her to use a straw & she got her milk/formula that way. Had another friend whose baby didn’t like the bottle so they used a giant eye dropper & fed him that way. My youngest is almost 6, so I’m not sure if there are other new products on the market that might help make things easier for you. Does your baby take a pacifier? I’ve seen pacifier type things that have a tube that connect to the bottle so the baby eats while sucking on their paci. Maybe a nipple that is as close in shape to the paci you use? Did your doc have any suggestions for you? My boys would always rather take formula from the bottle than breast milk. It was like they didn’t want to be reminded of me when the had the bottle.
Baby’s eating habits can be so stressful. When one of my boys would have food issues I’d always remind myself that a healthy baby will not starve themselves. Good luck!
Research, not Law
Grrr… I meant to reply. My reply is about five posts down.
Samantha
Thanks posters. (And Research not Law, I saw your helpful post below!). My baby is 4 months. I’ve tried all kinds of bottles and had the most luck with the Adiri, which is what we’re using now.
I could in theory drive home at lunch to nurse, but I’ve been avoiding that since it could exacerbate the situation? (Doc recommends cold turkey bottle-only during the day so as not to confuse baby).
CB – we do use a medium/fast flow nipple. Most of the time he will turn his head away. With a sippy, we have to pour milk into baby’s mouth and he occasionally swallows (some of it comes out). I’ll try removing the non-spill valve. He hates pacifiers, too and has never taken one.
Research – we just introduced bm/cereal. He will have a couple spoons of it and I’m glad he has taken a liking to that at least. Why do you suggest not using a bottle on weekends? It would make our weekends so much more relaxed, but I’m worried it would make readjusting to the bottle Monday much worse.
Just E
I’d just nurse him when I could. You may need to reverse cycle for a long time (I had plenty of friends who did this). He may just not eat much during the day and then nurse a lot at night and on the weekends.
Diana Barry
I would nurse baby on the weekends – you don’t need to add to your stress with trying to give bottles on the weekend and pumping more, etc. Hang in there. Baby may be drinking more at night to make up for not drinking from the bottle during the day. It will get better! :) Mine went through a few weeks of refusal too and settled down once she figured out it wasn’t going to change.
SV in House
One of the best things about the JCC is that it has parking! If you are looking for an outdoor bootcamp, Vyayr is great.
SV in House
I had the same trouble with my son and the only thing that worked (for the transition at least) was a funky breast-shaped bottle (http://www.onestepahead.com/catalog/product.jsp?productId=686).
Anon
My baby did the same thing, and I had to go back full time at 12 weeks. She protested for the first 6 weeks I was back to work, and then finally one day started taking the bottle. My doc reassured me that she would not starve herself! She would just eat all night long, but it wasn’t too bad. I would bring her in bed with me and just try to sleep anyways. I would always nurse her whenever I am with her (so all weekend, etc.) My doc accommodated my worrying by letting me bring her in for weight checks, and she continued to gain weight, despite not eating all day. The doc also said she was not dehydrated. It was stressful at first, but I tried to stop worrying about it, and then she started taking a bottle!
Annnon
I am starting to feel like usajobs.com (website for federal jobs primarily in DC area) is an urban myth. Like, these jobs supposedly exist, but it’s always a friend of a friend that gets the job.
Has anyone actually gotten a job from usajobs.com?
BKDC
I did. I was told I was one of 1000 applicants. The process took a couple of months, so be patient!
kz
No, but I did just get a rejection email today for a job I applied for I think in april, so it can be slow…
a.k.
I did. I also have had people at the agency reach out to me when I was an applicant deemed eligible, but not a finalist who made the cut for interviews.
The key to federal jobs is you have to have a very in-depth federal resume – there are books out there to help with this, for instance, the Federal Resume Handbook. Sounds silly, is a pain in the butt – but totally worth it.
Another Sarah
No, but I can attest that it is suuuuper slow. Especially now, since agencies are holding off to see what they’ll be able to pay for and not. I’ve had more positions cancelled than for which I’ve been rejected, FWIW…
Annnon
Thanks for the responses! All good things to keep in mind; and congrats to those that have gotten jobs from it!!
Kurrent Kontraktor
I am going to have to be the voice of dissent. I think it’s futile to base a job search in USAJobs. I know for a fact that a lot of announcements are created solely for one person (and kept up for like, a day) just because of the legal obligations the government has in posting jobs, even if they know who the job is already going to.
Federal hiring is corrupt and inefficient in my opinion. I think your best way of getting in is to find somebody on the inside who can help you track positions and openings and get you in that way, or trying to get hired through a big recruiting/hiring event (one of my government job offers came through a large, professional recruiting event the agency in question was having).
Anonymous
There are 2 kinds of fed jobs/systems– appointment (connections, having been singled out and chosen or knowing someone with any sort of influence) and standard, inhuman, inhumane HR. For most institutions there is no such person on the inside who can track it or help you, just annoyingly lazy, uninterested (and therefore democratic, I suppose, but painfully slow and dispassionate) HR people. Don’t beat yourself up by thinking you can have some influence via networking or ever genuine superiority and suitability on most posting/applications. There are computer programs and procedures, and you put in your input and don’t stress about what happens to it– nothing to control. When you get it or don’t, it will take forever to find out.
Anonymous
Yes, 5 of them (every lateral, promotion or NTE requires a new posting etc. round for fairness & transparency.)
rg
Yes, though I also had established a connection in the agency. That doesn’t help you get through the initial screening, though. As others have said, it’s important that you have a Federal resume that gets you through the initial screen. This means that it should repeat and make painfully clear that you have the qualifications discussed in the job posting. In general, it will need to be specifically tailored to the job. Even then, keep in mind that it’s likely that a few hundred resumes will get passed to the hiring manager (this is even in cases where the job is highly specialized and most people won’t really have the right credentials). The hiring manager is probably really busy and it will take a whileto wade through the several hundred resumes. Having a connection at this point who can at least alert the hiring manager that your resume might be coming through is useful, though not sufficient (or even necessary). After that it’s a combination of luck and having the right credentials which might not entirely come through from the job posting.
Overall, I think that to the extent you can find one, it’s a huge advantage to have a connection at the agency. Even if they can’t directly impact your hiring, they can tell you about some of the extras that will stand out to the hiring manager so that you can emphasize them if you have them. For my job, I had some very specific experience that is technically not a requirement for my job, but is highly desired by my supervisor. Knowing that I should emphasize it to give me an edge when/if I got to the stage where s/he would look at my resume was probably a huge advantage.
I know it seems tough, but it is possible to get Federal jobs if you are persistent and targeted in what you want. Good luck!
Anonymous
There is a 3rd type – excepted service. These jobs are for professionals (attorneys, scientists, accountants, engineers), so they’re exempted from a USA jobs post. However the gov’t is full of them, so the job opening isn’t created with a certain person in mind. My office of 100 (all attorneys) hires at least two people every 6 months. These jobs are, at best, advertised in major newspapers, and avoids the mindless wedding out by HR (HR never has a clue what we actually do, even when it’s typical attorney stuff). To find a gov’t job that is to “cold” email your resume & cover letter to the Division Director of every office you want to work for. They DO keep resumes on hand for hiring. And everyone is hiring now in anticipation of a hiring freeze in 6 months.
LuLu6
Question for all you successful ladies out there: At what point is your personal happiness more important than happiness with your career? I’m a fairly successful 31-year old woman with a job that I love, but I’m in a relatively small city and haven’t had much luck on the dating front in a while. My job is fantastic and I wouldn’t find a similar opportunity anywhere else. (I’m a lawyer in a niche practice, and senior partner in my group is ready to retire and hand the entire practice over to me.) I own a house, have a solid amount in savings, no debt, and don’t lack for material comforts. BUT… I’m lonely. There’s very little to be said for the dating scene here and, with literally all of my friends married and having babies, I literally have no single girlfriends left to go out with. I’ve tried every way I can think of to meet new people (joining groups/clubs, online dating, etc.), but I haven’t really met anyone that I connect with, and I’m at a little bit of a loss. I can’t help but feel that I wouldn’t have this problem in a bigger city, but I don’t know that I’m ready to abandon my job to move somewhere else and start over. On the other hand, I think I’m beginning to realize that having a great career isn’t enough for me without a satisfying personal life to enjoy while I’m not in the office. Should I put out feelers for jobs in bigger cities, or should I just give up on love and get a cat?
Elise
You know, you never know what another city might lead to for you professionally too… the whole big fish/small pond v. small pond/big fish thing. Maybe you end up taking a lower or equal level job in a new city, but it’s at a bigger employer with more professional opportunities. Change can be good.
As a 33 yo single woman, I sympathize with you. I’m a city dweller and while dating is still challenging, what actually helps the most is being in the company of a lot of other 30-something single professional women. I just don’t feel a ton of pressure to settle down yet which means I can still have some fun dating.
That said, the one caution I’d throw out there is not moving ONLY to spice up your dating life/meet new men. That’s a recipe for potential disappointment. But if you are just feeling a little stuck in general or eager for a new adventure, I say go for it. You are only 31 and you are debt free, a homeowner, etc.? So responsible – I’m impressed. But maybe it’s time to live it up a little – you are young, go enjoy it a bit and try something new.
karenpadi
I feel like I’m in a similar position but I’m in a big city that’s nicknamed “Man Jose”. But all the “good” guys seem to be an hour north in SF. The grass is always greener… I’ve gone ahead and gotten the cat but I refuse to give up on love.
I have a friend who was living in SF but fell in love with a small-town guy who moved to the city to be with her. So I don’t think finding a mate is a function of population.
Do you have friends in big cities nearby that you could visit on the weekends? How about taking a solo vacation (for shopping?) or going to a conference in a target city?
karenpadi
Or does your area have an inter-city league like bowling? You might be the only person under the age of 60 but word gets around fast that team X has a young single woman who would be perfect for their sons and nephews.
That’s how another friend met her match–her church is part of an inter-church camping club for men that set her up with her husband.
SF Bay Associate
Really? I’m so surprised to hear you say there are no good men in SJ – with the Googleplex and Apple HQ and HP HQ, there are gobs of men down here in the valley. I’ve always had a soft spot for the geeky guys, but companies that large have the whole variety of professions. Get thee to Stanford GSB/law alumni mixers for starters – surely you know someone who can get you in. Or Google events. Palo Alto/Mountain View bars and restaurants should be great for meeting people too, depending on your demographic preferences.
I’m from SF and really disagree that the “good” ones in SF. The good ones in SF are, to a much higher degree than almost anywhere else in the US, gay. Most guys of both stripes also live in tiny apartments with three roommates because the rent was so high. Dating in SF was downright difficult.
Want to hang out sometime, karenpadi? Somehow we haven’t managed a bay area meetup. Hopefully mamabear is free too.
anon
have you tried online dating? i was in a similar situation a few years ago & met my SO online, so did a few of my friends. not for everyone, but you might be surprised how many single people are really out there.
anon
sorry – just read that you have so i’ll offer that it took me 3 years of regularly dating online (like at least 1 date w someone new a week, or so it felt like) to meet my SO. it’s a little needle in the haystack, but if you’ve got everything else going for you where you are, you might not want to give up quite yet.
karenpadi
It is funy, isn’t it? I hadn’t realized SF women thought the Valley had awesome (not-gay) guys. :) I’m kind of laughing at myself. I’ve tried many of those events when I was working/living in Palo Alto but just haven’t had the time to keep going since moving down here (also just left a relationship so newly single again). I will try to reconnect, thanks for reminding me!
I would love to hang out! I have an easier time getting to SF if I can catch an express Caltrain during the week (not lunch, reasonably close to Muni). I don’t know where Mamabear is but Palo Alto might be an option too.
SF Bay Associate
My work is on the peninsula, so PA would actually be great!
Also, I’ve not personally been, but my single late 20s/early 30s straight guy friends like to go to Santana Row on the weekends – there’s a lot of mingling going on there I think :). And being the (charming) geeks that they are, they are ALL on one of the various online dating sites and/or other social media. If that’s your demographic, that’s a great way to make connections.
karenpadi
Cool! I have a very flexible schedule so I’ll let you pick a date. my email is karenpadi_at_hotmail.com if you want to take this off-line.
Oh Santana Row! I have gone on many dates there. It is a fun place.
conbrio
A Bay Area meetup? Count me in, please!
Amy H.
Me too! I’m in SF but can meet anywhere.
another anon
You can have a happy life AND a cat y’know!
Dynamite with a Laser Beam
Are you me? :) Seriously, I’m feeling the exact same way (except I would get a dog). Moved straight to the suburbs after law school and 7 years of living in big cities, 6+ hours away from all of my friends and family, and the only people I talk to are coworkers who are older and married with children. I like my coworkers, but the loneliness can be overwhelming at the end of the day, when I know that I don’t have any evening or weekend plans to look forward to. I’ve done an informal job search just to see what’s out there, but until something promising pops up I’m staying put. All I can say is, you’re not alone.
E
YMMV, but in my experience, bigger cities are full of men (and women) who enjoy the single life and don’t want to settle down. I don’t think it’s easier to date in bigger cities or in smaller ones – both present challenges and advantages.
Anonminon
I’m in the same boat. I’m 26, in a small town (6000 people) where it seems like everyone either moves here after marriage or gets married young. I think I can count the number of men I’ve met who are both over 25 and married on my fingers and I’ve been here a year. It’s also a very hard community to break into and I’m still very much an outsider with few friends. My job is amazing, and anything else will be a step down but I keep reading that studies all point to social interactions and relationships being far more important to long term happiness than money or a career, so unfortunately I think I will have to leave for a bigger city.
Anon
Online dating (Match) worked for me and many other people I know. Don’t quit just yet. As for girlfriends, I met a couple in my new town through college alumni events and young lawyer events I attended. I would chat potential girlfriends up, get their card, ask them to lunch and then progress to dinner if I thought they had potential.
It depends
I think it depends what is important to you. At your age, I was about in your position. Single. Amazing job (made partner a couple years later). Great compensation. Owned my house. Paid of my students loans. Beginning to save large amounts (having jsut finished the loans). SO LONELY AND BORED. I seriously considered moving to NYC from my suburb in southern California for the culture, for the (I thought) increased dating pool, and frankly to be around other Jews.
I never did move cities. I stayed at my job until I had saved a lot. I moved to a different less demanding job in the same city, and life changed a lot once I had more time out of the office. I got out more and took advantage of what my suburb has to offer. And, a couple years later (at 40), I met my now husband.
Now, if you want kids, this isn’t going to work for you. But I guess what I’m saying is that you never know what is right around the corner.
Em
First of all, don’t get too stressed about your personal life. 31 is still super young, despite your observations about your peers. I made the mistake when I was 31 of being too worried about it…and it really detracts from one’s enjoyment of life!
Second, in my opinion (not that I’m an expert on happiness or success), personal happiness should outweigh career success, but you have to ask yourself if moving is necessarily going to achieve that. I would consider this question: if I could have a successful career, a meaningful relationship, and rewarding friendships, all in one city, what city would I choose? Then choose that city. Given your current career success, you’ll obviously succeed wherever you are, so moving to a new place isn’t a choice between career and personal life.
Third, meeting the right person is a chance occurrence, but you can maximize your chances. For me, it was a combination of trying new things I was interested in and maintaining existing friendships that led to my current relationship. At age 31 (I’m now 37), I took a mountain biking camp with some girlfriends and then met some people through existing friends that were into the same activity…and met my sweetie). Have you considered a professional matchmaker instead of online dating? Might be another way to maximize your chances before making a huge change that you aren’t 100% ready for.
On the other hand, now is the time in your life when you can be adventurous. Aren’t you kind of tempted to move somewhere new, exotic, exciting, and full of learning opportunities? Rather than looking at it as a choice between career and personal life, maybe it is actually a big risk that could lead to big rewards in both?
Third, you will never know if you will run across the right person by moving to a different place unless you do it. It sounds like you feel you would be starting your career from scratch if you move, but don’t underestimate the experience you’ve already gained. In fact, it’s probably a good career move to move to a bigger centre.
Em
Oops, the last paragraph was ‘fourth’ and redundant anyway.
Anonymous
Completely interconnected.
Divaliscious11
Well, I guess I never separated them so starkly. But, without disclosing your niche, is it a practice where you have to be in that location? Is there a large city nearby? If it were me, I’d wait until the book transferred to me, built my client relationships, and then take my book with me….
Grace
Anyone have experience or reviews on Standard Process vitamins or their 21 day cleanse? Thanks in advance!
Research, not Law
I missed the original post. I’m guessing your little one is about 3-4 months? It’s pretty common (which may be little comfort right now).
A friend had luck using a sippy cup. Have you tried that?
I’d try NOT using a bottle on the weekends to break standoff. Babies are smart, and yours may be refusing a bottle when you’re gone because he wants to nurse when you are home.
My daughter happily took bottles until I returned to work. She was 7 mo and taking solids, so I would run home during my lunch hour to nurse her. So she nursed before work, at lunch, immediately after work, at bedtime, and a million times during the night.
Another friend’s son refused everything. Breastmilk or formula in a bottle or sippy. Cold, warm, everything. He did fine during the day, but he kept her up all night nursing. The daycare was not close to her work. So she nursed him when she dropped him at daycare, worked about five hours, picked him up and nurse him at home, then finished a couple of hours of work later while he napped. She had the support of her supervisor to temporary drop her FTE to 0.8 and work remotely for part of the day.
I know this feels overwhelming right now (and it is), but it will only be for a few months. I think your doctor is exaggerating a bit about milk being the primary source of nutrition for a *year*. (And I breastfed for 19 months). When your baby takes to solids in a couple of months, you’ll be able to ease back the milk during the day. If the bottle refusal doesn’t break, then start a little bm/cereal at four months. By six months, they can be eating one or two small meals during the day. It may not have been your original plan, but babies require flexibility.
Good luck! It DOES get easier!! I promise!
Research, not Law
Oops! This is a reply to Samantha’s OP.
To Say Something or Not To Say Something?
Hi ladies! This will be long.
I have two great friends from college, Jane and Jill. They could not be more different, in style, attitude, or career interests, but both are fabulous women who are starting their careers right (and know about this site because I talk about it ALL. THE. TIME.). Jane is very straightforward, a classic “tomboy” type. She’s getting better at networking every day. Jill is very traditionally feminine, but in her industry and region that is the way towards success for her. She never has a problem with men respecting her professionally.
Jane is finishing her amazing internship at a DC think tank as one of the only female researchers. She’s good at hanging out with the guys, and hears a lot of their intern talk. It recently came out that the guys really dislike Karen, a recent alum of our alma mater who has a much higher position. Karen is in development and a really good friend of Jill’s (but not me). They resent “the way she treats them” and think she gives them “busy work” all the time.
Now, Jane and I know that these guy interns, often ex-military, probably just hate being told to do stuff by a girl. I’d say “tough”, except….
Except I remember Karen from college. We were in some of the same social circles. Jill is decidedly my friend, but Karen is not. Karen was never rude to me, but she was never friendly either — she never bothered with me. I don’t really care, because I don’t need more friends, but I know that she and Jill are very, very, traditionally feminine and kind of sexist in their social interactions with guys. I’ve talked with Jill about it before, and it’s not my place to change how they behave amongst themselves.
I’m willing to bet that this attitude is harming Karen at work. So the question is: how much do I care? What is an appropriate way to get involved? I don’t know anyone at this think tank, nor is it my field. Jane is leaving for another position and doesn’t really like Karen either (although she’d never trash talk).
I was thinking of saying something to Jill, but I can’t think of the right way to phrase it…
Should I let it go? It’s not my career and she’s not my friend.
TIA!
Former 3L
Leave it alone. I think there’s a tiny part of you that probably wants to sort of point out to Jill that her retrograde attitude is capable of biting her in the ass, and maybe also a teeny part that is like, “haha, Karen gets her comeuppance, delightful,” (I say this because this is what I’m thinking, because I’m horrible) that wants to share that with someone else who knows K’s deal. But don’t. Better to just leave it. Not your career, not your friend, not your opinion, not even your gossip. Enjoy it for what it is and leave it alone.
OP
Ha! You’re exactly right. Secretly I’m dancing because I’m horrible too. But then I felt guilty and wondered if I should say something.
Research, not Law
Let it go. She’s not your friend, and it sounds like the interns are getting an accurate read off her. If you want to start vaguely mentioning to Jill that their attitudes may affect their careers, then go for it. But I’d stay out of Karen’s baggage.
I’m not sure it would do any good, either. If she’s like someone I know, Karen would have no interest in changing because some boys thought she was mean. And what is Jill supposed to say? “A friend of a friend said that her coworkers think you’re rude”? Plus, it may put Jane in a tough spot, and she IS your friend.
Cginnyc
Let it go. Even if Karen does get your point, she’s eventually going to figure out that the male interns talk behind her back and may act more negatively toward them. They on their part may blame Jane for sharing their “intern talk” with others. And Karen and perhaps Jane may end up resenting you. You don’t know for sure that Karen’s attitude is harming her since you say you don’t know anyone at this organization. Karen’s interns may dislike her but perhaps her bosses like her. People are unlikely to change based on comments from people they are not intimate with… if anything Karen may get defensive about how she interacts and it could sour things between Jill and you
Jane and Jill Read Corporette?
Any chance Jill now knows the scoop (having read it here) and will say soemthing to Karen?
I agree with the others: don’t say anything.
OP
Thanks, all!
Consider this one resolved. I just needed some sage advice.
And Jane and Jill both know about Corporette, but I doubt Jill reads it. Jane probably does every once in a while.
(if either of you see this: hi!!! Call me sometime. ;)
Divaliscious11
Um, why do you even care?
Curly Fries
Agreed. You all sound 12 years old.
OP
Thank you for your classy replies.
Divaliscious11
My point was you seem to be invested in something that is none of your concern, about someone who doesn’t seem to like you. Waste of your time and energy. Sorry if you find pointing that out to be lacking in class …..
Former 3L
It’s rude to tell other people “whether” their emotions/thoughts are valid. (“Whether” is in quotation marks because, obviously, you’re not the arbiter of the validity of others’ emotions or thoughts. But you might act like you think you are!) Many people also resent the implication that focusing on one small thing means that they lack time or energy for something else (see, e.g., anyone who has ever had to justify their interest in fashion when the world is so full of shit all the time, i.e. pretty much everyone who has ever commented on this website, n’est-ce pas?).
for Ess
Hi Ess — I wanted to make sure you saw my reply on Thursday’s Coffee Break thread, since I just saw your question/rant. My response is copied below.
–Little Lurker.
“You mention that she chats in Hebrew, so I’m guessing she’s Israeli. Just so you know, this behavior is VERY common among Israeli ex-pats, and a lot of Americans not fluent in Hebrew find it really annoying. I’m fluent in Hebrew and I’d find it annoying too.
Just make sure she’s actually ignoring you before you write her off entirely: ex-pats are often so relieved to see someone who knows their language that they just start blurting out things in their native tongue. Especially if she’s new and confused about things. Remember the last time you travelled somewhere where they didn’t speak English? Multiply that feeling!
If your industry is full of Israelis AND you want to make friends: ask her, on your break, the words for some basic terminology in Hebrew. It’ll make her day and one day the knowledge will come in handy.
Also, definitely work on your soft skills. There’ll never be a time when knowing how to network will hurt you.
PS Unless you’re actually visibly different skin colors, what you don’t have in common with her is a language and a culture, not a race. Just so you know.”
Emmey
Mah shlomeich?
Anonymous
Google Translate, for those of us who speak English:
How are you? = ma shlomcha? (for a male) ma shlomech? (for a female) (this is the transliteration)
Always a Bridesmaid
I’m in a wedding at the beginning of October, and the bride requested that we all find our own strappy black shoes to wear. Nothing too “heavy” since the dresses are light gray. She mentioned wedges would be preferable (as it is an outdoor event– prevents sinking into the grass). All the strappy wedges I’m finding are really casual and kind of clunky. Any ideas where I can find a delicate black wedge??
Always a NYer
I’ve had my eye on the following pair for a while:
http://www.zappos.com/lauren-by-ralph-lauren-percy-black-patent
E
These ones seem perfect for a wedding (they popped up as a “you may also like” suggestion when I clicked on Always a NYer’s link): http://www.zappos.com/bouquets-rosette-black?zlfid=111
You could also try the Cole Haan Air Darleen, which isn’t exactly strappy, but has some cut outs that may be close enough.
Anon
Yes to these. The other links are horrid for a wedding.
Lynnet
This probably isn’t at all what you’re looking for, but I have these in a different color and they are some of the most comfortable wedges I’ve ever worn. I’ve walked several miles in them and felt like I’d been walking in sneakers. Plus, $10.00!
http://www.payless.com/store/product/detail.jsp;jsessionid=5F81F5B3FF156790896EA68625F990E7.pss-app-04-app3?catId=cat10088&subCatId=cat10285&skuId=086694120&productId=67510&lotId=086694&category=&catdisplayName=Womens
Dagny T
These are probably the most delicate wedges I’ve seen!
http://piperlime.gap.com/browse/product.do?cid=67052&vid=1&pid=840085&scid=840085002
MeH
I sawthese while shopping and loved them!
http://www.vonmaur.com/Product.aspx?ID=60040&Sale=n&pg=1
NewClerk
Are there any recent law clerks out there (say, 2008 and later) who did not have a post-clerkship offer until after you started your clerkship? When did you apply for your post-clerkship position? When did you interview? In March, I straight out asked some partners at the local big firms and they said to contact them in late fall and plan to interview in the spring, but some of my fellow clerks insist that’s too late. I don’t want to miss out but I also don’t want to irritate the attorneys with whom I hope to interview. When should I contact them? I see them about 3-4 times a year at networking events but I don’t see one in the near future. So I don’t see a convenient/smooth way of bringing it up again. It looks like I’ll have to cold-call or write them. Oh, should I call or write? Thanks for the help!
Another Sarah
Not a clerk, but plenty of friends who are clerks. Very few of them had offers in hand for after their clerkship before they started their clerkships. Most don’t have anything for after their clerkship. Timelines are so crazy right now, it’s not “too late” until you are at your last day at your clerkship and you don’t have anything lined up. You’re not going to force them to hire you before they need to, and what the Partner told you sounds pretty reasonable to me.
Why are your fellow clerks insisting that the timeline is too late? Do you need to re-up your clerkship at a specific time? Or is it just that this is how it’s always been?
NewClerk
They think we should apply on the traditional schedule and interview with the current 2Ls who are also looking for Fall 2012. Which is sort of reasonable, but I think only the very top of the 2Ls are getting those positions and I couldn’t compete with them anyway. The partners told me they rarely hire on that schedule now because they don’t want to defer start dates until they have a need and they don’t really know their need for Fall 2012 until spring (or maybe even summer 2012).
Another Sarah
I think your fellow clerks are on the timeline of how things used to be. Which is no longer how things are. What the partner said sounds much more reasonable, and what I’ve heard myself from firms in terms of lateral hiring.
Anonymous
That seems odd to me. I clerked for a federal appellate judge, and none of us started applying until January.
Lyssa
I graduated in 2009, and clerked for a year. No offer before I started. I had a number of classmates who also clerked and were in the same boat, and know of at least one who wound up staying on for an extra several months since she couldn’t find another spot. But such is the way of the world right now for a recent law grad.
As for applications, it varies by court, but for me and, as far as I could tell, most of my friends, it was fine to start applying right away. Particularly now that being a clerk is not the ticket to a great job offer. (after a while, my judge was dropping very obvious hints to every attorney that we interacted with. I felt like the stereotypical unmarried daughter you see on TV!) Check with your judge to make sure that they don’t have any rules, but otherwise, I would assume that you can apply right away unless you hear differently.
Former 3L
I applied for public interest jobs while clerking. I started applying in September (and late August would have been better) and didn’t end up doing most of my interviews until March. It was horrible and there were many tears in the office, but I ended up getting two offers at the very end of March (after hustling my ass off and leaning on the two orgs I was most interested in–I told them I needed to register for the bar (since I was deciding between two places not in the same state) and time was therefore of the essence).
ST
I graduated in 2009 and clerked a year, without an offer in hand. I’m now at a firm, and have interviewed several people who are currently clerking. I applied in February and interviewed in March/early April; the people we’ve been interviewing have been coming in as recently as a few weeks ago. I would not apply in the fall — I don’t think that firms have even started thinking about lateral hiring of clerks at that point, and your resume is likely to get put aside somewhere and forgotten about. I think your timeline sounds very reasonable.
And it should go without saying, but you should listen to any partners who have specifically told you what timeline to use! Even if you apply earlier at other firms, stick with what they told you for their firms.
NewClerk
Thanks for the advice, everyone! I should see most of the partners I know at events in October or December, so I’m going to wait until then to inquire about applying with them. I’m just ready for this uncertainty to be over.
AJ
The conversation above about Chanel No. 5 made me think of this: what perfumes do people wear? I know perfume is slightly controversial because of allergy issues, but I love it and have a couple of Bond No. 9’s.
My favorite is Bleecker Street, which is a warm green scent with notes of violet leaf, cassis, jasmine, cinnamon, and oakmoss, but I also have Hamptons, which is a more citrus-floral summer fragrance with lime blossom, bergamot, white jasmine, magnolia, amber, and sandalwood.
And yes, I looked up the notes because I’m that nerdy.
Eponine
Narciso Rodriguez For Her and sometimes Lancome Miracle, but mostly the For Her because I lurve it. I wore the Lancome for about 12 years previously so it was time for a change. I wear the NR For Her EDT but the Lancome EDP (don’t know if Miracle comes in an EDT). For some reason the NR For Her smells very different in the EDP and I don’t like it at all; it also comes in a musk, which I don’t like.
According to Sephora, Narciso Rodriguez For Her EDT has notes of “Honey Flower, Solar Musk, Orange Blossom, Osmanthus, Amberlyn, Vanilla, Tactile Musk, Tactile Woods, Vetiver” while Google tells me that Lancome Miracle is a “modern floral fragrance for women with a fruity opening, slightly spiced flowery heart, and sensual base of amber. Lychee, jasmine, peony, ginger and pepper accent this luminous and vibrant feminine blend”.
I usually buy perfumes in duty free so I find them fairly affordable. And on that note (ha), I’m glad I’m not the only Corporette in an odd time zone/with insomnia; I was getting bored by myself here!
AN
For day, Jo Malone but they wear off quickly so I’ll go back to white musk by body shop or eau d’hadrien by anick goutal .
For evenings out, lily and spice by penhaligon.
Ekaterin Nile
Realities by Liz Claiborne.
Always a NYer
My go-to used to be Burberry classic but I’ve stopped using it because the scent seems to have changed. I now use Poeme by Lancome everyday for work. For special occasions I love Chanel No. 5. I also rotate Tresor by Lancome and Design.
houda
sometimes I use a Burberry perfume for men (the summer version). I forgot the name but it comes in a yellowish bottle.
Other than that, anything citrussy makes me happy and I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing rose, flowery or otherwise herbal perfume.
Scully
I like Tocca perfumes for the weekends, although they do fade quickly. I listed the notes of my favorites below, but I honestly can’t smell that much in the perfumes. Bianca is a lighter, spring perfume; Colette is my favorite warm smell for fall and winter. I love the smell of bergamot (and Earl Grey Tea).
Bianca is a light citrus blend of lemon orpur, bergamot, mandarin and lavender. Green tea, jasmine and rose petals bloom are mid notes, and musk and sugar are the base.
Colette’s notes are bergamot, mandarin, lemon, juniper berry, pink peppercorn, jasmine, violet, cyclamen, incense, sandalwood, musk, amber, vanilla and cedar.
Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler
Right now, I am alternating between Chanel Chance and Coach Poppy, but I think once the seasons change, I am going to switch to Versace Crystal Noir.
Dr. Cox
The three that I have in rotation at the moment are Versace Versense, Bvlgari Eau Parfumee au The Vert (excuse my lack of accent marks, please), and Versace Bright Crystal. In the winter, I also wear Chanel Coco Mademoiselle, but I find it a little heavy for the summer.
I’ve never really worn perfume to work because I haven’t been able to decide if it’s appropriate for a doctor to do so. Would love some advice on the matter, though, because I miss it!
Here are the notes, for those who are interested.
Versense: bergamot, mandarin, prickly pear, sea daffodil, cardamom, jasmine, cedar wood, sandalwood, olive tree, musk
Bvlgari The Vert: bergamot, bitter orange, orange blossom, cardamom, pepper, coriander, rose, jasmine, green tea, smoked wood
Bright Crystal: iced accord, yuzu, pomegranate, peony, magnolia, lotus flower, acajou, vegetal amber, musk
Coco Mademoiselle: orange, bergamot, mandarin, curacao, morning rose, jasmine, ylang-ylang, mimosa, patchouli, vetiver, vanilla, white musk, opoponax, tonka bean
Lyssa
This is just my opinion, but I’d probably be against a doctor wearing perfume, unless it was very light and not noticable, while seeing patients. Something about it just seems like it would detract from the clean and sterile feeling that I would want at a doctor’s office.
Anonymous
Completely agree.
Eponine
I’d prefer my doctor perfume-free – your patients could have an allergy or it could aggravate a headache or stuffy head.
EC MD
Would never wear perfume to see patients. First, the chemical sensitivities are an issue.
The other thing that I feel about perfume, and I may not be able to articulate this adequately, is that perfume should only be smelled by people you are intimate with. The professional relationship many people have with their physician is by necessity often quite intimate (hello, I examine patients, touching places that other people don’t touch) and I don’t want to conflate a personally intimate experience (smelling my perfume) with a professionally intimate experience (getting a clinical breast exam). Does that make sense?
Also, my husband has a very sensitive nose and does not like perfume, so I’ve basically given it up.
May
I think this really sums it up.
And my husband is allergic too.
Dr. Cox
This is essentially why I had questions about the propriety of wearing it, and had leaned in favor of not doing so – I just wasn’t able to word it so well. Thanks, all, for your advice! Will continue to keep the perfume for my personal time.
Clothing in Cairo
All of you mentioned valid points, but Dr. Cox is a prominent character on the TV show Scrubs, so I wouldn’t read too much into this handle, ladies. ;)
Clothing in Cairo
oops, missed the part of her post that mentioned this directly. continue on!
Creed
Creed “Vanisia.” Same scent every day. That way all my “need to be drycleaned, but not every time they are worn” clothes always smell the same. Also, I can’t be bothered to select a fragrance every morning. I also believe in uniforms, both formal (plaid skirts and saddle shoes were required in my grade school) and informal (my current wardrobe).
Ru
I wear Creed Acqua Fiorentina – looooooooooove it.
Kanye East
I love:
Caramel and Tobacco by Fresh,
Coco by Chanel,
Un Jardin Sur Le Nil by Hermes,
Poivre Samarcande by Hermes.
LinLondon
My summer scent is Just Cavalli Her- “Sicilian Bergamot, Ceylon Cinnamon, Bamboo Leaves, Wild Lily Of The Valley, Apricot Tree Flower, Sambac Jasmine, Golden Amber, Madagascar Vanilla, Lebanese White Cedarwood, Powdery Musk”
Winter is Stella by Stella McCartney – “Rose, Peony Flower, Mandarin, Rose Absolute, Amber.”
May
Just Cavalli Her sounds like my kinda perfume!
Just E
Lovely by SJP
Jas
Oh I’m such a perfume nut! I have a little collection. Right now my summer ones are Jo Malone Sweet Lime and Cedar and Commes des Garcons Rhubarb. The rhubarb one is a bit sweeter than I usually wear, but it goes on with a perfect tart rhubarb note and then ends up with creamy musk. My favourite winter perfume is Commes des Garcons Jailsamer, which is incense and cedar and smells like an old weathered longhouse on a wet day and reminds me of home on the west coast. I’ve been working through the Tauer perfume samples lately, and they’re all so wonderfully evocative, even if I haven’t found one that calls to me, yet.
Divaliscious11
I’ve had the same 3 fragrances in rotation for 20+ years Coco by Chanel, but only in winter, Red Door in spring/summer and Crystalle by Chanel in spring/summer/fall….. I always like other fragrances in the bottle but either dislike on me or never wear….. so I end up giving them away.
Missy
I start my MBA next month part time. I’ll be leaving work early (5pm)twice a week to go to class from 6:30-9:30. I leave the house around 8am.
What essentials should I make sure to pack in my purse, tote or leave in my car to make this as easy as possible? A change of clothes, snacks, etc.
Second question, who wears Bare Essenctials and what products do you love/hate?
Food
I would keep healthy snacks around. Little bags of nuts (TJs sells them in the nut section as “a handful of”). Cans of tuna. Granola bars if you like them. Raisins. Always a case of bottles of water in the trunk. Otherwise I eat whatever is available, which is never good.
anon
Tuna in the packets or cups, not cans – much neater and all you need is a fork – no can opener, no draining.
Eponine
I’d wear or bring walkable shoes the first day, because student parking may be a bit far from the class building. Also, bring snacks – my go to is either a piece of cheese and an apple or a Luna bar and an apple. And water. I wouldn’t worry about changing – most of the part time students will be coming straight from work.
Anonymous
I like pack a healthyish dinner rather than eating out every night before class. My go to is a peanut butter and nutella sandwich on whole grain bread and an apple. On the other hand, when my mom was getting her MBA back in the day, her pre-class meal was a chocolate milkshake and french fries! Also bring water or else you will be parched in class. I stay away from drinking coffee before class because caffeine late in the day does not work for me. Good luck with your program!
Car
Since you are doing all this in a car instead of public transportation, you can keep a cooler in the trunk to keep food cool.
Stuck In Moderation
Have any other Canadian Corporettes been to the new Canadian J. Crew store?
I’ve just returned — and it was pretty quiet there!
Equity's Darling
Bah, I’m in Calgary, but my family is in Toronto. I told my parents that my Christmas trip home is 50% for J.Crew and 50% for them.
Maybe 60/40 for J.Crew, depending on how many of the boys on my 15 year old brother’s hockey team are in my parents house at the time.
I’m a little jealous.
Laura #2
Ladies, I’m wondering if I can get your thoughts and advice on balance. I started a new job a few months ago and the hours are longer than I’ve had at previous positions. I know there are plenty of you who would be happy to have only a 12 hour day, but it’s been a bit of an adjustment for me. My weekends have turned into a rush to take care of all of the things I neglected during the week, and I feel behind on a lot of personal things because I want to unwind when I get home, not fold my laundry.
What are your strategies for getting things done and staying on top of things during the week? Maybe all I need is a kick in the pants, but I’d appreciate hearing how others handle this.
HLA
It might be worth it to spend a little more in the form of a weekly housekeeper, laundry/drycleaning pickup/delivery, grocery delivery, etc., if only to reduce stress where possible.
Eponine
I think the only way to do it is to not have a personal life (i.e. no yoga, no drinks with friends, etc) or to pay someone to clean, do laundry, deliver your groceries, etc. I know a few people who manage everything on their own, but they seem to be the rare type of person who is happy with 5 hours of sleep every night.
Ellen
Eponne, I do my OWN laundry every weekend, so that I can have fresh clothes.
There is no other way to do it.
Laura #2
I am definitely not that type :) Thanks for these thoughts–I’ve been feeling like I am the one person in the world who isn’t able to balance things better. I’d be interested to see where people think the hours tipping point is–50? 60? 70?–at which your life outside of work starts to take a more substantial hit.
Not the only one
Please don’t feel that you are the only one who can’t balance. You are not. I felt that way, too, when I looked around at my partners in BigLaw and thought, “Why am I the only one who isn’t married? Everyone else bills just as much as I do (2500ish hours/year), but they are all married and, in most cases, have kids. They must be much smarter than I am because they can do both, and I can do only one.”
I now realize that although my former partners are all married, they do not have the kind of marriage *I* want. In order to have the kind of marriage *I* want — and now have — one cannot work that many hours. It simply isn’t possible to communicate with one’s spouse sufficiently to have the kind of marriage I want (not saying “good” marriage, because I don’t want to judge) in the few remaining hours of each year after you bill 2500+ hours.
In the meantime, I agree with others that you should outsource whatever you can: cleaning, shopping, food prep etc. The one thing you can’t outsource and shouldn’t give up IMHO is healthcare, which includes regular exercise. You only have one body, and if you ignore it when you are young, you will be sorry later. Spoken from the perspective of a 45 year old woman. Don’t know how old you are, but I am on the brink of “no longer young” and am noticing that many of my contemporaries are beginning to have health issues that prevent them from doing things.
My two cents. But you are not alone.
Eponine
I think over 5o it starts to take a hit, and over 60 it’s a major, substantial hit. At 60 hours you’re basically either working 7 days a week, or working 6 ten hour days and a zombie on the 7th. A 10 hour workday doesn’t leave you with any real personal time once you add on your commute and the amount of time you spend getting ready for work in the morning, if you want to get 8 hours of sleep.
fresh jd
Laura, I am contemplating leaving my current flexible (but boring) 9 hour job to a more demanding 12 hour day job. Do you have any regrets about taking this demanding position? Is it really that bad? Do you commute a lot? Has it lessened your social life / quality of life? How and do you squeeze in exercise?
Sorry for all the Qs, I just want to know what I’ll be getting myself into before I make the jump. Thanks!
Laura #2
I wasn’t super excited about this job going into it (long story, but suffice it to say I was unemployed and wanted to switch industries, but given the economy, it wasn’t happening), so that doesn’t help things. It was the right decision for me, but only because of those outside factors. I’ve often wondered if I would feel differently about the hours if I really loved what I was doing.
My commute basically is my exercise–I have about a 25 minute commute in the mornings and walk home most evenings, so I end up with about 3 miles of walking a day. I would love to do something more aerobic and have been trying to get up in the AM to do so, but so far that plan hasn’t been happening.
If I’m really honest, it has lessened my quality of life to a certain extent. I’ve been late meeting up with friends because I had something that needed to be finished, or haven’t met up with people because by the time I was leaving, it just didn’t make sense to go. And, I don’t do as much on Fridays because I feel exhausted by the end of the week.
I don’t think it’s a bad move it you think it will get you where you want to go, but I’m definitely learning that this won’t work for me long-term. I have too many things I like to do outside of work. Also, I can take work home, which is helpful if there’s an after-work event I really want to attend. I also have a concrete start time, which limits my ability to get things done before work. I think that flexibility–working from home, coming in later if you there’s something you have to do in the AM–would make a big difference.
Anon
DONT DO IT!!!Am going the other way right now…Boring job + interesting life is much better than the other way around…
Jen
I’m finishing my Ph.D. which means 12 hour days (at least). Fortunately, my situation is temporary, so I can let certain things slide.
I do laundry on the weekend, but I have enough clothes that I could skip. I cook something large on the weekend and have leftovers during the week (either from the large meal or from the freezer). I have a Roomba, so no deep vacuuming gets done now. Weekends are also for errands which are done with S.O.
Routines help. If you find that you can make time one day during the week for one errand, then that is that much less time on the weekend. If my job were to involve this much time, I would look into at least one of the things listed by HLA to give myself more me time.
Jen
One other thing – my friends use to swap errands (I’ll go to Target if you do my grocery shopping; drop off my dry-cleaning, and I’ll mail your packages). If you know of others that are in your same situation, it can help to just go to one place rather than two or three).
SS
That’s a great idea.
Bonnie
I think a 12 hour work day is doable for some time. It ultimately does lead to burn out. I worked 12 hour days for a while and still had time for a personal life. For me, key was living nearby. With a short commute, I still had time for yoga and to meet with friends. Try to simplify your life where you can: hire a housecleaner, set bills on autopay, learn to cook in a Crockpot and order in dinner once in a while. With time, you’ll learn to be more efficient at work too.
Divaliscious11
Hmm…. Well, I think it depends on what personal stuff isn’t getting done. Is it cleaning? I’d get an every other week cleaning lady – you aren’t home that often, so that should do, unless you have a husband and kids. Can you get your laundry and groceries picked up/delivered? Or go at off hours. I go to the grocery store at 8 am on sunday, and am done by 9, unless its my once a month Costco trip. Spend a Saturday and set up all your bills so you can pay them on line – you can then do that from work.
Other tips I use – as I have kids:
– meal planning —my crockpot is like my wife when my husband is traveling
– Schedules – Everyone in the house has one! I use an app/site called Cozi to keep up with everyone’s obligations
– Is your job the type where you must be in the office? During the school year, I leave at a reasonable time to be home with my kids, but I log back on to respond to email, delegate stuff etc…. after the little people go to bed….and I do it with a glass of wine and pretend its mid afternoon and I’m having a cocktail in the office ala Mad Men
hth
Laura #2
Love the Mad Men image :) Personal stuff is a mix of things–cleaning, cooking for myself, the I’ve-been-meaning-to-get-this-tailored-for-a-month-and-a-half type errands, volunteer work, etc. Clearly, there’s some room for simplification.
Thank you all so much–I really appreciate your suggestions and apparently need to make a crockpot purchase in the near future! Thank you, too, for reminding me that balance isn’t always as easy as it appears. I can’t tell you how helpful it was for me to hear that.
1L
Hey Ladies!
I read all the time and just wanted to share my excitement! I just finished my FIRST week of law school. I realize this is peanuts to what most of you are doing but I’m so happy to say I made it this far! I haven’t made a fool of myself yet. Needless to say, reading your stories always reminds me I’m working to something attainable. If you have any great words of advice, I’d always love to hear :) Have a wonderful weekend! I’m off to studying!
2L
Congrats! I start my 2L year on Monday. I don’t have much advice except hang in there, and try not to get caught up in classmates’ drama and stress. You can do it!
Tired Squared
1L-congrats on making it through your first week! I’m particularly impressed that you haven’t made a “fool of yourself” yet because I certainly did that during my 1L year!!
My advice is to make some good friends, but realize that not EVERYONE can be your friend … some people are just going to be caught up in drama, and you don’t want to let that stuff bring you down.
Good luck!
AnonInfinity
Good job! I just finished the bar exam, so I vividly remember sitting where you are. Hopefully it won’t be all for nothing ;) (Finding out bar results in a few weeks…)
My advice — Find something to do besides law school sometimes. Volunteer, exercise, whatever. For me, it was exercise — I made tons of friends who were not in law school or lawyers, so I can leave all that stress behind completely a few hours every week. This kind of balance is so important because you will get stressed and in those moments, it helps to have some perspective or way to leave it behind.
My second advice may seem contradictory — Start networking and going to professional-type things (such as local bar association meetings if they invite students) as soon as you can. I networked the heck out of law school and was one of only a handful of people who ended up with an offer before graduation. I truly think it’s because I cast such a wide net and was looking toward getting a job after school for basically the entire time I was in school.
Alanna of Trebond
Just thought I’d round out the group — starting my 3L year in a few weeks and congrats on your good start!
1. Do all the reading. Take notes on the reading (i.e. by “briefing” the case) and take notes in class. It is not always necessary to speak in class (depending on how your professor does participation), but it can put you on the spot, which can help you retain information better. I actually think that it’s perfectly fine to make a fool out of yourself in class — better than being a fool on the exam!
2. I second the suggestion to go out and network. I am very active in my local Inn of Court, and although I got my various offers via OCI, I feel like I am becoming a part of the local legal community, which I suspect may be helpful in the future.
3. Give yourself enough time to outline before exams — it’s the best way to learn the material, and you want to give yourself the best chance that first term. It may seem unfair, but 1L grades determine which firms will even give you a callback (obviously disregard that particular advice if you are interested in another career path).
MelD
I disagree with you on the outlining. It is the best way for *some* people to learn all the material, but does not work for everyone. The big mistake I made in law school was listening to everyone else tell me what study method would work best for me. I am not an outliner and did much better for myself when I did a lot of practice questions and modified other people’s outlines to suit my needs.
Second, keep in mind that if you don’t do well your first semester, it’s not the end of the world. Take it from someone whose GPA went up considerably from 1L to graduation. I switched my study style to one that suited me better and that really helped out a lot.
Janie
The time to start outlining (for a 1L) is 4 weeks after classes start. This will give you plenty of time to change things before finals if that method is not working. Thanksgiving weekend is your last chance to catch up – all your outlines should be “up to date” by the end of that weekend. Outlining does not have to involve roman numerals. Cases are trees – look for the forest.
Make friends. Don’t freak out. Be organized. Take legal research and writing seriously.
If you aren’t getting it, don’t be ashamed to read hornbooks or commercial outlines. Used alone, they won’t get you an A, but they can be a great supplement, especially if your professor sucks.
Eponine
I remember my first morning of law school very clearly. I was walking from the parking lot with a girl I’d met at orientation. We were mostly walking in silence, nervous as heck. When we got close to the law school building, the other girl stopped, turned to me, and said very seriously “I feel like I’m going to my death.”
Congrats on surviving the first week!
1L
Thank you for all your advice! Finding “my” way of studying is by far the most challenging thing for me so far!
Miriam
Haha “I feel like I’m going to my death” describes it perfectly!
an
What do you ladies think of Balenciaga Giant City bags? Stylish or overrated? My SO thinks they look like $40 bags you can get at Urban Outfitters, but I kind of like them.
anone
I agree with your SO and I did in fact get one that looks identical to them from a street vendor for $40. I wasn’t even thinking they were a designer knockoff at the time. They look way too trendy to be so expensive. I’d invest money into a bag that looks much more classic. That said, it’s about what the bag is worth to you.
Just starting
Try the website real
Deal balenciaga and buy a used bag- you get a great bag, save a lot and no one will ever know.
Head Thwack
Ladies, having a majorly self-loathing moment here: just going over some credit card records and I realized that I have somehow been spending almost $20 a MONTH for close to THREE YEARS on some idiotic credit reports that I’d thought was a one-time thing. It totals almost $400, money that I really didn’t have to spend. Hate myself for wasting money like this. It’s been such a busy time and I hadn’t been following things closely (or, apparently, at all: it’s a credit card that I barely use and I pay it directly from my bank account).
Any ideas on whether I can dispute the charge this late in the game? Any suggestions for how to react to this? I’m just so upset and furious with myself.
Makeup Junkie
You can probably get a refund of the last 3 months; but beyond that you’re just going to have to chalk it up as tuition payments in the school of life. Don’t be terribly furious with yourself though; I’ve wasted a lot more than that on…well, makeup.
Anonymous
“Tuition payments in the school of life.”
Love that.
Clothing in Cairo
Me too!
Taylor
You aren’t the only person who ever blew money this way. Many of us have been caught up in the sign up now and cancel later scam.
Ruby
Banana Republic flash sales- does anyone know how often they do this? Saw one the other night for 40% off but was busy, have a suit I want to get and can wait til next sale.. just wondering if they are weekly or any other predictable rythym. They have 25% today btu 40% is better:)
kz
Fairly frequently, I think. For some reason, I think it’s usually on Wednesdays.
Blue
Fairly frequently, I think. For some reason, I think it’s usually on Wednesdays.
Former 3L
It’s not super-predictable but it is frequent. I pretty much only buy from BR/Gap etc. (also Ann Taylor and Loft) when I can get 30% off or more. I get the emails and try to plan accordingly.
Maddie Ross
Any advice on how to find a home cleaning person? I’ve tried word of mouth for ages but everyone’s cleaning person either doesn’t come to my part of town, isn’t good enough to recommend, or is so good that they won’t recommend them for fear of losing them. Is there any good service out there? Has anyone ever tried ads on craigslist or another source? I’m totally sketched out by the idea of finding someone on craigslist, but the situation is getting desperate. My hours are worse than ever and even though my husband is around more than me, he doesn’t quite get it to my liking. Ideas? Success stories from a service?
Ekaterin Nile
I found my current cleaner using Angie’s List. They were highly recommended and I’ve been happy with them.
somewhere(less)cold
I just searched on google for services in our area, and because we live in an area with not many choices, it was not too hard to decide. I found one person on servicemagic dot com, and he was weird/creepy. We spoke on the phone, and he seemed unprofessional and generally a little off (e.g. when I decided not to hire him, he called me again and was pushy about my reasons for not hiring him). The people we ended up with has a very professional-looking website, is bonded and insured, and is fine working around our dog. They also offer a couple of cleaning product options (conventional, Clorox “green,” and vinegar/baking soda mixtures), which appealed to me. We also were home the first few times they came, which I think helped with trust issues.
Janie
I used yelp. I found a service because it was important to me to be able to pay on the books and to have them be insured and bonded. My service lets me schedule and pay online, too.