Weekly News Update
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– WiseBread rounds up some ideas for buying designer bags at a discount (including an interesting interview with eBay seller Fashionphile
. We looove one of the Chanel bags she's currently listing: CHANEL Patent Classic JUMBO Flap 2.55 Bag CC Black (pictured) (bid ends in 2 days!).
– Ever wanted a tattoo without wanting it to show up all the time? Via Jezebel, Lil' Wayne shows something new to us: the blacklight tattoo — an actual tattoo that's only visible under blacklight. Wowzers.
– Already Pretty advises how to wear leggings.
– FINS interviewed Lois Frankel to see what she thought of the Citigroup chief's list of “dos and don'ts” for women trying to get ahead. Meanwhile, Sweet Hot Justice's Legal Tease talks to her friend, a hooker, who actually provides some amazing advice: Don't be a porn star. (You have to read it to fully understand what she means.) Love it.
– WSJ's The Juggle pondered the Goldman Sachs gender bias suit.
– Feminist blog Zelda Lilly wonders why the NYT just recently began including more women on the obituary pages — perhaps they just weren't dying before?
– Finally: Lifehacker rounds up their favorite uses for binder clips.
Don’t just be a porn star or senior associate …. research monkey/printer punk/due diligence dunce, etc. RFLMAO!
Threadjack…
Hey Ladies,
I’m growing my hair out and am in this really awkward length that just looks silly and unkempt. I’ve been looking for advice on cute up-dos all over the place, and I keep reading that I should get all these little grippy things and just put my hair up. But I can’t figure out how to do that! Does anybody have links to pictures, or can describe “just put it up in little hair clips” in a way that I can understand? Many thanks for your help!
i don’t have any specific advice for you, but Youtube is full of how-to demonstrations for all kinds of hair lengths and styles. i’d check there.
I’m also growing my hair out and I would advise you to consider getting a very professional looking (plain, understated) headband. What this means probably depends on the color and texture of your hair. You could experiment by putting in the headband first and then placing grippy things in different places to see what works for you and doesn’t. If you get it right you can take the headband out, and if not you can still rely on the headband and not have lost too much time getting ready.
Re: The Citigroup list, the article misses the major beef with it, which is that Citigroup is making it seem as if “women not getting ahead” is because of something wrong with the WOMEN rather than with their CORPORATE CULTURE. The “Nice Girls Don’t Get the Corner Office” list was to tell women how to survive in a corporate culture which involves entrenched sexism; i.e., if the list is applicable to your workplace, your workplace is a steaming pile of sexism. WTG Citigroup.
Re: Don’t be a porn star. Maybe the source of the article doesn’t realize that most prostitutes in the United States – including women working legally in Nevada brothels – are not independent businesswomen. Most of them have been pimped/trafficked, most suffer extreme rates of PTSD, and most would leave the “profession” if they could. I have a problem comparing my job to legally-sanctioned rape, personally.
YES to both points. Well said.
I don’t have a problem comparing my job to legally sanctioned rape . . . b/c that’s not how I view prostitution (frankly, if you take that attitude, many marriage the world over — U.S. included — are a far better definition of that phrase).
I was a bit confused by the whole metaphor, though. .. I am a bit under the weather and admittedly skimmed that article, but I am not at all sure I understand what that means. To me, all I got out of it is that the writer thinks she is really cool for being friends with a hooker.
As far as I can tell, “the writer thinks she is really cool for X” is the basic driving force of that blog.
I hate the legal tease blog. I think it sets women back a million years. There was a whole article about sleeping with married men that almost made me throw up.
“I don’t have a problem comparing my job to legally sanctioned rape . . . b/c that’s not how I view prostitution (frankly, if you take that attitude, many marriage the world over — U.S. included — are a far better definition of that phrase).”
Perhaps you missed the “pimped/trafficked” part of my comment. And, yes, I do consider forced marriage to be legally sanctioned rape. Giving money or a house to a woman you raped (or to her pimp/trafficker) doesn’t suddenly make it “not rape”.
Sei — I am mainly taking issue with the assumption that most sex workers are abused/pimped/trafficked/whatever else.
I understand that some are. I also understand that some women chose this lifestyle (just like some of us, here, chose to work 80+ hour workweeks, sacrificing a “normal” family life, personal relationships, etc. & would be offended by someone making assumptions about the choice, like, e.g., “she couldn’t find/keep a man so she works a lot”).
And I am not trying to get into a big debate of whether at some point someone who chooses sex work for a living didn’t ultimately suffer some kind of trauma that made him/her turn to that line of work as an alternative in the first place. In some ways, none of our choices are truly free, regardless of what those choices are. All I am saying is that it strikes me as a bit insulting to *assume* that these women (and men) in the sex industry *must* have been abused/pimped/trafficked/etc.
When you say that you have a problem comparing your job to “legally sanctioned rape” you are saying that all prostitutes are being raped, when the reality is far more nuanced and complex.
AIMS, that isn’t an “assumption” except in so far as I’m assuming the numerous studies about the level of sex trafficking in the United States – which all project that between 50 and 95% of women in prostitution currently are or have been the victims of pimps or traffickers, and which find an average entry age in the low to mid teens – to have at least a grain of truth.
If you have an issue with this picture of the “sex industry”, take it up with the study authors, or the pimps, or the men who purchase prostitutes. I’m just responding to the numbers.
Between 50 and 95% is a pretty big chasm, I would say.
Also, an assumption is an assumption no matter how you slice it.
You are once again conflating issues when you say that I should take up the issue with the study authors, the pimps, or the men who puchase the services of prostitutes (I do not agree that purchasing the services of a sex industry profession = purchasing that professional, much like purchasing the services of any professional, does not equal purchasing the professional). All I am saying is that not all sex workers are alike. Period.
I don’t think NGDGTCO is just about how to survive in a sexist place. I think it is actually more about things women do naturally that make them seem inferior to men even when observed by the non-sexist. It is little things we can change about our behaviors that make us come across as more competent.
I would change “naturally” to things women are socialized to do. Young girls get hit over and over with the message that they should be “good girls” and follow the rules without questioning them too much or putting themselves forward. That socialization then does them (us) a disservice in the working world often times.
Though I don’t think either part of it is inherent. It’s not accidental that girls are taught to put themselves down while boys are taught to talk themselves up. It’s also not accidental that an aggressive, dominant style is favored in the workplace. Both those things are components of a patriarchal system. We can and should learn how they affect us, but I think we should also recognize it as unfair and sexist.