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Wednesday’s Workwear Report: Winetasting Selena Blouse

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professional woman wears deep purple blouse with interesting collar

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

This Tuckernuck top is just perfect.

The ruffled stand color, the covered buttons, the elbow-length sleeves? All perfect. It comes in a wide range of fabrics and colorways, and the cranberry is my current favorite, but if I had an unlimited budget, I’d also grab the blue-and-white striped version for summer, the black velvet one for holiday parties, and the black chiffon for going out. 

The blouse is $108 at Tuckernuck and comes in sizes XXS-XXXL. 

P.S. We included this top in our post on blouses with interesting collars — check it out if you're on the hunt for eye-catching pieces like this!

Sales of note for 2/13:

212 Comments

  1. Where should we eat and stay and what should we do at Disneyland at spring break? We are staying at a hotel within walking distance. Weve done World but hear this is a different experience. Also looking for a beach house to stay near there after we conquer Disney so recs for that would be great.

    1. We stayed at the Fairfield by Marriott across the street. It’s not fancy but was super close to the park gates, like a 7 minute walk at a little kid pace, and we had a great view of the fireworks from the balcony. There are a lot of hotels on that same block.
      For eating, we only had one park day and just ate Panera before entering the park and then grab-n-go food in the park. I thought the food was good for theme park food but not special enough to build the day around, so I don’t regret not doing sit down meals. Character meals might be worth it, especially if you can do them on a non-park day if you have one. In downtown Disney, there’s a Din Tai Fung.

      1. Second recommendation for Fairfield by Marriott. It was simple and affordable, and we enjoyed the walk.

    2. Within the parks, I think the food on the California Adventure side tends to be a little better, but also the Main Street restaurants (between the two parks) are great and maybe a smidge less expensive. I believe you can use the Disney app to make reservations, which I would recommend. For beach stays, Newport is great and I’d recommend the Marriott Newport Coast Villas if you’re open to a hotel, although I’ve always wanted to stay on Balboa Island.

    3. You can make dining reservations for the parks 60 days out, so set a reminder. I prefer having sit down dining all set before the trip and work the rest of the trip around that. Agree with the other commenter that the food is generally better in California Adventure.
      It will probably be crowded, purchasing lightening lane will help. You can book those 7 days before the trip.
      Its much easier to use park hopper at Disneyland – the parks are across a plaza from each other, no taking a bus. Definitely take advantage of that.

    4. Balboa Island would be a fun place to stay after Disneyland. Very cute and walkable, and lots of available rentals. The beaches on the island are bay/harbor beaches, but there is a short ferry (~3 minutes) to the peninsula for an ocean beach.

      I also like Laguna Beach a lot, but there are not really classic beach house style rentals there. Surf and Sand is a nice hotel if you’re open to that instead (the Montage as well, but it is pricier).

      1. To add: I see that someone upthread recommended the Marriott Newport Coast Villas. I agree that is also a totally fine option if you’re open to a hotel rather than a house! It is not on the beach, but they have a shuttle down to the beach at Crystal Cove. And I assume that you will rent a car, so it is easy to get to both Laguna and Newport from there.

    5. Just enjoy! It’s so much more manageable without planning than I hear DW is. You can walk in and have fun. I’d recommend doing the Haunted Mansion especially early.

    6. We had a really good meal at Carthay Circle (in DCA), but otherwise the grab and go food is good. We especially liked the food at the Star Wars land. Most of the hotels around there have a fine hotel breakfast, so we did that every morning before walking over to the park.

    7. Disneyland is so much easier planning wise than Disneyworld. Foodwise, there are less restaurants in the park so we typically eat grab and go for lunch, then pop out to Disney Springs for dinner. I’m partial to the Mexican restaurant in the middle (name escapes me). Last time, we did one of the tours which gave us priority seating for the parade and fireworks, highly recommend. Plan on getting to the parks early. The park in the morning is way nicer than later one.

      1. +1 on getting there early.

        Also -unlike at DW – hotel guests only get early access to each park on certain days of the week (it alternates between Disneyland and DCA). If you’re not staying in a Disney hotel try to align your mornings in the park with whichever one doesn’t have early access for hotel guests.

      1. I much prefer it to Disney World but agree you only need 2-3 days. It’s smaller and more compact. To me the fact that you don’t need to stay for the better part of a week is a feature not a bug :)

        1. Same! It is a totally different experience than Disneyworld, but it sounds like OP is aware of that.

  2. My hair has suddenly turned wavy and I’m figuring out how to deal with it. I like the new texture overall, the only thing that is bothering me is that the shorter layers in the front are a lot curlier. Is there anything I can do about that other than straightening them? I don’t mind them curly, I just want them to be less poofy. I put a curl cream in and it works for the rest, but putting curl cream in these layers is just going to make it worse.

    2. Would shorter layers elsewhere help the rest of the hair keep up so it at least looks balanced? I can’t tell if it’s the hair or the haircut.

    3. I use Olaplex leave in conditioner and blow dry with my Revlon styler. It keeps my hair from getting too frizzy and fluffy but it’s not stick straight.

      1. Fluffy is the right word for it! I probably just need a couple passes with the revlon styler

      1. I was scared of gel because it reminded me of middle school but it seems like gels have changed these days.

        1. You could also try a curl mousse, they will be lighter. But you’re right, gels have come a long way and aren’t universally crunchy.

    5. I have curly hair and the front pieces that frame my face are a much tighter curl than the back, so it could also be your hair’s natural curl pattern. I’ve found not cutting the layers too short works best to weight down the curl. For fluffy curls, usually for me that means I need a heavier gel based product to make the curl more defined

    2. I can’t with puff sleeves. They are not for me. I think of the Seinfeld pirate shirt.

      I do like ruffles on collars.

    3. Except I think I see skin peeking out under the bra line. So it’s not even Victorian school marm appropriate!

    5. I can see this looking chic on the right person. On me, this type of above-chest seam always makes the girls look droopy.

    6. Tuckernuck always seems to have these crazy structured clothes where the person wearing it is just the clothes hanger. Not sure how to describe it. Like the dress is wearing you?

      I say this as a petite person with a big bust and small hips who cannot wear anything they sell so there’s some sour grapes/jealousy on my part bc the clothes always look gorgeous in the photos.

      1. Tuckernuck has so many very short dresses also. Who is wearing these in real life??? If they were for clubbing, sure (not me, but I can see a market for that), but these are professional dresses, or could be, but for the fact that they hit mid-thigh on an average-height woman.

        1. Whoever is wearing these, it isn’t me, a petite person with a decidedly non-WASP phenotype of short legs and sturdy calves!

        2. This has always been my thought, too. Whenever people say they wear these to work, they get the side-eye from me. The length alone, even with tights, would be so inappropriate for my workplace.

        3. I am! I’m 5’3” and apple shaped. I can wear their short but loose dresses with flats and be cute and comfortable. The best.

      2. Yeah, design cluttered with too many exaggerated details. And nothing is flattering.

    8. Ha. I think most of the clothes featured here are SO outdated and bad, yet I love this — tucked into a pair of sailor-style trouser jeans and a loose topknot would make it look very sleek and cute!

  5. Does anyone have experience with radiation treatments for ocular melanoma? If so, I’d appreciate any suggestions for the week of the treatment, side effects, recovery, or how to stay positive during all of this?

    PSA: Ask your eye doctor about retinal imaging. You might discover an issue, but, even if not, having a baseline of your eye health can help identify changes as you get older. I’m in my early 40s and had minor vision blurring symptoms that could have been written off as stress-related but, in fact, turned out to be a result of eye cancer. Thankfully, we caught it early before it spread because of regular imaging and monitoring. As this group likes to say: Just do the thing.

    1. I’m so sorry you’re dealing with this! Is retinal imaging when they use the big camera to take pictures inside your eye (and it looks all gooey and red and you can see the optic nerve and thin spots in the retina and all that)? Or is it something else?

      1. Yes – that! For me, it showed a nevus (essentially a mole) on the back of my eye, which is pretty common. It remained relatively stable for more than 15 years –then it started to change shape and that’s how we discovered the cells had turned cancerous.

    2. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this but very, very glad you caught it early. My MIL’s cancer diagnosis was initially ocular melanoma (unfortunately it was actually lung cancer that had spread). I don’t have advice on the radiation, but I hope it goes smoothly.

    3. I do not, but I am aware of a couple of OM clusters because I am a potential member of one, by which I mean only that I was also living on campus at Auburn University at the same time as a handful of women who eventually developed OM. Like a lot of apparent clusters, it has not been proven to be related to their time at AU (I think), but when two college roommates develop the same rare cancer decades later, it is hard to believe there is not a correlation. Anyway, I would encourage you to get in touch with one of the patient support groups for OM. From what I’ve gleaned from following a couple of the members of the AU cluster (or “cluster”?), your choice of medical provider makes a big difference. For all the dubiousness around clusters, my optometrist did not blow it off and also strongly encourages the retinal scan.

      1. I also lived on campus at Auburn…when was this group there?? It would be nice to have this on my radar…

    5. I was a caregiver through radiation treatment. It was a year ago, but the surgery itself didn’t take long. The biggest side effect seemed to be redness and watering. There are a lot of drops. We didn’t want to deal with the eye shield so mostly stayed at home. There wouldn’t have been any reason to otherwise. I think they warn you about contact with pregnant women and small children but that wasn’t a concern for us. Otherwise, they put in the plaque and removed it successfully. I think just plan to take it easy. We’ve made it a year with no spread so sending good thoughts to you as well!

    6. OP here: Thank you all for the helpful responses and encouragement. I checked out some of the support groups. I’m making sure my podcast library is ready and loading up on ebooks. And, I bought the Lululemon athleisure set I’ve been wanting for almost a year. More importantly, I’m feeling hopeful. Thank you.

      1. Terrible is a little harsh, but I think this style of pant is about 10 years out of style, unfortunately.

        1. Ugh, that’s what I was afraid of. I will hold off on buying a second pair but they are very comfortable! I just wore them with an oversized sweater, so nothing that exciting.

          1. I also feel like it depends on where you live and how stylish your office is. Outdated pants wouldn’t raise an eyebrow in my office.

          2. There are men in my office who wear flip flops in summer. Not often but I’ve seen it! I’m just more trying to be more stylish for my own sake! :)

      3. This depends on your body type, but they are fine. Like honestly, for work pants, pick what works for your body and move on. No one is winning style points at work. I have four pairs of the same ponte pant and wear them 4/5 days a week.

    2. they’re the pants equivalent of the white bread rolls at a benefit dinner. inoffensive, bland, but kind of stale.

      4. The crepe ankle pants look nice! The wide-leg ponte pants are iffy – I don’t know if they look like sweatpants in person.

    4. They’re perfectly fine! I think a lot of what we wear day-to-day falls into “perfectly fine” unless we’re the type of people with a natural flair for style, or we become the kind of people who give a lot of attention to honing a personal style and creating outfits. That elusive “effortless style” thing isn’t at all effortless, in my experience.

      All that to say, buy the second pair if they work for your lifestyle. Or hold out for something else, if you’re looking to put more attention into your personal style game. (Not a requirement; some people enjoy it, others don’t.)

      1. I agree. They are fine! Not everyone is trying to make a fashion statement every day. If they fit you well and you like them, don’t worry about it. I would love to see how some people dress who call them “terrible.” Really? Get over yourself.

        1. Quite well, thanks. And btw, this is ostensibly a fashion blog in case you weren’t aware.

    5. I was surprised to see Quince selling them – usually they sell things that are trendy or are in high demand elsewhere too.

      At the same time these types of pants look good on me and as someone else said they’re the white bread of pants – it really depends how you style them. Especially in a neutral color they don’t really stand out as stylish or not.

    6. These comments about the pants being outdated are strange to me. I work with a woman who is obsessed with being ‘in style’ and her outfits are pretty cringe and don’t make her look as in touch as she thinks.

      1. Haha, ditto. I work with some people who are very “on trend” but blind to what works for their body. Not my problem, but I judge.

      2. Um who exactly do you think those pants are going to look good on? They’re unflattering on the model and dated.

    7. Of course they are comfortable. They are essentially leggings. I would save them for working from home/weekends. I would have something a step up and more current for work.

  7. How bad is new female attorney attrition in 2025 (especially for grads => 2015)? I remember at my 5 and 10-year reunions, many people had left the profession, largely due to kids / family (and tuition being drastically cheaper back in my era in a VLCOL area). I have no idea how it is now that school loans are much higher.

    I thought among doctors it would be better (so much need for doctors, greater ability to work PT), but last night a female doctor remarked that something like 60% of women doctors leave FT work within 6 years (which seems to track with 10 years out for lawyers, given their longer training horizon). IDK how it breaks down to not working at all vs PT work (which may vary by specialty; IDK any peds doctors who work FT but maybe for brain surgery its much less family friendly). This woman quit working because she had a disabled child that she wasn’t able to get quality care for, which sounded like it was a choice she was forced into and would have preferred to work at least PT to not lose her skills (and maybe for loan repayment; who knows).

    I am hoping that things are better, but honestly don’t know how things are for younger people. I have carved out a PT-ish career working for just a few clients on interesting projects; I could not do a lot of FT jobs due to also having a combination of special-needs kid and other family caregiving responsibilities (so different things peaking at different times and a keen awareness that it is better to do fewer things well than more things slapdash).

    1. I’m 14 years out of law school, so not the group you asked about, but all of my female attorney friends who had kids left their firms and are either in-house, in the government, or doing contract/part time work. None of the women I know who are law firm partners have children.

      2. Your last sentence is where we really hide the truth: women without kids (or who have a SAH spouse) are who partners are. Law is very flexible, but it’s hard to stay in BigLaw and pay off your loans if you have kids. You get so much flexibility once the loans go away because law is tremendously flexible (but with very different pay scales). I love it, but knew none of this when I signed my first loan for law school at 22.

      3. I left my MidLaw partnership (for government) when I was 12 years out of law school and my kid (born during law school) was just going into high school. Just couldn’t do it any more.

    2. Most stick with it. My peers that left the profession all married into wealthy families so no longer needed income. (Long-term, I hope they’re protected by a good prenup, etc.)

      1. Really?! I’m law school class of 2010 from a T14 (though not T5) law school and I feel like half the women are no longer working full time as lawyers.

        1. I didn’t read the OP’s question as FT vs. PT but rather those who totally exited the field. Some are using their degrees in different ways (like, doing PT work at legal aid, not in Biglaw) but yes, most of my peers are still in the profession in some way, whether partners at a firm, hanging out their own shingle, in-house, government, teaching (adjunct prof), or community orgs. A few did move into the ‘business’ of law like firm marketing / business development staff positions or in the career office at a law school.

        2. I’m 2010 as well and I feel like our year in general was kind of weird since we graduated in the recession–I know a lot of people my year, men and women, who never really got on a traditional lawyer path just because the job market sucked. But yes, I feel like a lot are no longer lawyers, though some are law-adjacent (legal tech, mostly). Some stay at home moms, some other random non-law things. I know one that now has her own fitness company. Then we had several that just got super burned out, took about 6 months off doing nothing after firm jobs and then went back to non-firm law jobs.

          1. I’m 2011 and this describes how I find my peer group to be operating. I didn’t have children and am still working FT as a lawyer (partner in a boutique). I had a bit of a non-traditional work trajectory (started in very small law, have worked my way up to well-respected boutique after some time in local government), but a lot of us ended up in this boat because of how the market was. In the end, I have less money than I could if I’d had a more traditional career path, but I think overall it’s worked out well for me, and kept me from burning out in my late 20s to mid 30s.

        3. I’m a 2010 grad from a T5 schools. I know two female classmates who have completely left law, who to switch fields and one to stay home with her kids. But I also know 5 men who have left law. I think it’s more an issue of a lot of people going to law school because they don’t know what else to do, but who never really considered if they would like being a lawyer.

    3. Not in law, but in big consulting. The number of women my age (40s) with kids who have worked the entire time is crazy small and the ones who remain (including myself tbh) pay for a ton of help and outsource just about all life tasks (cleaning, cooking, childcare, live in au pairs/house managers, etc.).
      One of my goals is to be able to sock away as much money as we can to help make my children’s lives easier if/when they have kids because of how hard it was/is on us.

    4. I’m a T5 law school grad from 2012 and all of my friends are still working. None are law firm partners, but most didn’t go that route in the first place.

      One thing I have noticed is that in my office building in a big city in Texas I’m starting to feel like one of the oldest professional women in the elevator.

      1. I felt like that in my 40s. I know one law grandmother (just retired) but probably every straight guy lawyer old enough to be a grandfather is a grandfather.

      2. In T5, are the scholarships that much better? Or people just from wealthier families? I feel like I had to go where I could make the most money the quickest and then figure out the rest because I had to borrow 100% of what law school cost. I can’t imagine having the opportunity to work in BigLaw (which I assume all T5 school grads have) and not taking it (either directly or maybe after clerking for a year (never mind those people who do either multiple clerkships up the food chain or do multi-year ones)). Or not needing that sort of life-changing money, at least for a few years.

        1. The scholarships are worse, not better! Harvard and Yale don’t give any merit aid. I’m not sure about Chicago and Columbia but I would imagine they don’t give as much as the slightly lower ranked-schools, which buy a lot of top students with merit aid.

    5. I’m older but at the now 20(!!!) year out mark, most women in my cohort are:
      – in-house (probably majority)
      – non-partnership track staff attorneys at law firms
      – law adjacent but not JD required roles (e.g., law school admin, compliance/investigations at companies or in private practice)
      – law firm partners with kids & SAH/very low key job spouse
      Actually very few are not working at all in a law or law-adjacent role, now that I think of it. The men in the same cohort are much more likely to be a partner at a law firm now, though.

      I would add (and full disclosure that I’m in-house): I think going in-house isn’t necessarily always more flexible or easier than law firm, but an alternative pathway and may reflect an unwillingness to play the biglaw game/put up with the BS of it.

    6. I’m a 2013 law grad. I have 1 child. I’m a law partner in an AmLaw 100 firm.

    7. If you make it 10 years in big law and you have investing as a priority, work realistically is probably optional for you. That’s about $4.5m in income over that period (more if they were in big law during the Covid special bonus feeding frenzy). Even allowing for expenses and heavy student loan repayments, I think at least some women you’re seeing leave law are simply retiring early because they can.

      1. The $4.5M estimate seems high – if you’re talking about people with 10 years of earnings, they started at least 10 years ago when starting salaries were significantly lower ($160k) than they are now. I was in Big Law for 5 years and I think I “only” earned around $1.2M. I know the second half of the first 10 years is considerably more lucrative than the first half but I still don’t see how you get to $4.5M in 10 years starting from $160k/year.
        That said, even $1M was fairly life-changing money though. Not “retire and never work again money” but for me (without major debt due to a huge law school scholarship) it was “downshift into a much more laidback career” money.

        1. Hmm, if I add up total career earnings for someone starting in 2015, which is the last time we had the $160k scale, (and assuming absolutely no raises after hitting the top of the conventional 8 year scale), their career earnings are $4.416m. (I did give them credit for still working in 2025, and I guess they should’ve had more of a stub year in 2015 but the jump to $180k as base happened in May or June 2016, so they would’ve been on the higher scale during their stub year, too). So I don’t think it’s far off at all. The 2020/2021 bonuses really were large.

          1. Not all Big Law associates get a bonus, let alone the max. I rarely got a bonus in Big Law. I usually met my firm’s stated minimum hours (I think there was one year I didn’t) but there were higher expectations for bonuses and the base salary was high enough that I wasn’t interested in working extra for more money, and I knew I wasn’t staying long enough that I would need super high hours.

          2. Okay, so call it $3.5 million instead. Still enough that even if you are living a decent lifestyle, you should be able to build the sort of investments that make retirement after 10 years a realistic option.

    8. Just FYI, we do still exist – law firm equity partner, married to an equity partner, with 2 kids. 20+ years out. Always been at a firm. Maybe I’m a unicorn.

      1. I’m genuinely curious, and somewhat in awe – how do you make it work? Is one or both of you in a practice area with controllable hours? Are your kids with a nanny much of the time? Are you superhuman and not in need of sleep?

  8. To recap The Week of The Scar, am I right in thinking that dermatologists own surface-level scar questions and for anything that goes beneath the top layer of your skin (keloids that run into the tissue), that is for a plastic surgeon?

    I’m going to experiment with the Biocorneum but suspect that I have something that is deep to the skin (but on soft tissue, so I can feel it and this is something I’d like to change) and suspect may need something more (in the meantime: we will see).

    1. Generally, yes, that’s my understanding. However how deep the keloids run is a big factor – CO2 lasers/pulse dyed lasers can go deeper and may be able to work on ‘medium’ depth keloids. I used 3 sessions of laser therapy (different lasers) on an old scar and it significantly flattened it as well as took away about 70% of the redness.

    2. Yes, you need a plastic surgeon. And honestly I’d argue that even superficial wounds / scars warrant a plastic surgeon eval – especially if they are on the face.

  9. I get ankle-length pants in the summer that are looser. But, man, I’d like to find some cords that aren’t cropped. I’m not even tall, but visually things cry out for a flat and only seem to look OK with a quirky nordic sock + Doc Martin boots (so boot shaft doesn’t extend up into the pants), which is fine because I feel like kicking *ss but this is a bit too Try Hard Wanna-Be Gallery Owner or something for me for work (but I will be damned if I let my feet and ankles freeze in an office that seems to be 65 degrees even when the sun is up).

    1. I really hate how many pants are ankle pants. There can’t be thissss much demand for them can there?!?

      1. Especially when it is COLD. Retreating to dresses and tall boots because I don’t want to have to look quirky and twee in pants for a season.

      2. Talbots (formerly autocorrected to Albanians WTF) doesn’t work for me after decades of accommodating me as very thin, post partum, less thin, and very pear shaped. Now, too much waist, too long of a rise. Why why? Such a reasonable choice!

    3. For cords that have a gentle flare, order them in Tall so they’re floor-skimming. I love this trick!

    4. Loft and Banana Republic Factory have all sorts of pants that are full length. Maybe also J Crew Factory. Macys. Nordstrom.

      The days of only ankle length pants being available have been over for a couple of years. They still exist, but it’s really not as difficult to find full length pants as people here seem to believe.

    5. I’m in cold four-season weather, and love cropped trousers because they let me wear nice, weather-appropriate boots without looking like an awkward 90ies escapee.

    6. I got full length flared cords from this season from Kut from the Kloth (Nordstrom) that I really love.

    7. Nordstrom has quite a few different style cord pants options. I really like Kut From the Kloth for my body type. Keep your eyes on Banana/Factory though because they’ve had some good ones but they always sell out.

    8. Ralph Lauren has some great full-length cords in straight leg and gently flared styles. I have 2 pairs and they’ve been great.

    9. I found some full-length cords at Gap this season. They are really soft, have some stretch, and so far don’t bag out within a few hours like some other brands do for me.

  10. Best holiday gift that you have bought this season and are so excited to give/get — GO!

    1. Apple watch for my daughter – she hasn’t asked for it but I know she’ll be super excited.

      My son has been casually asking for a harmonica for months now.

      Bean bag chairs for my younger two. I feel like those are going to be a big hit.

      I got a flippy for my MIL for holding her ipad in bed. should be useful.

      I framed a sentimental scoring card for my dad.

      Curious to hear from others!

    2. A few of the best I’ve received-
      – Husband knew I’d long wanted the Links of London Hope Egg earrings and stalked resale s-tes to find them. He has no patience for online shopping like that, so it was extra sweet.
      – Mom made me handwritten copies of all my fave recipes
      – Framed vintage maps of our fave destinations
      – Bombas compression socks for travel

    3. My husband has wanted a toaster oven for years and we have never had the space. We still don’t, but I’m going to get rid of some other things to make room for the new ninja flip I ordered for him. It’s going to be crowded but I hope it’s worth it.

      1. Oh, and super excited for the balance bike for our will-be-14-month-old. We’re big mountain bikers and so looking forward to this stage.

      2. I held out for years on the toaster oven too for space reasons. We use it way more than I ever expected to for everything for toasting bread to heating up leftovers or dino nuggets.

    4. It’s not a gift per se, but my I burned out the motor on my KitchenAid mixer at Thanksgiving (fortunately just at the very end of prep so no harm done to the meal), and because it’s 30-plus years old and we’ve already replaced the motor once, we are upgrading to a 7-quart model with a bigger motor, and going from white to red! Yay! Can’t wait!

      Also got my husband a fancy licorice advent calendar and he is loving it.

    5. I have an almost-6 year old so we are in the thick of Santa.

      Furby was the big ask and she’s getting it.

      I also got her a Barbie Dream House for her birthday, which is right after Christmas. She’s asked for one on and off for the last year. I know I’m going to have 342980 little pieces in my house and I have no idea where we will store anything. I’ve just accepted I’m living inside FAO Schwarz for the next 5-6 years.

      1. The toy phase is shorter than you think! :( My almost 8 year old is among the last of her friends to still really love dolls and other “little kid” toys.

    6. I just ordered a mini Le Creuset Dutch oven for a white elephant gift exchange. It’s sooo cute!

      My husband has been hyping up a surprise gift for me, and he’s historically a great gift-giver so I’m excited!

    7. I like to repair and rescue beloved things for my husband. This year I found replacement ear pads for his expensive noise cancelling headphones that had peeling pleather despite the price point. I think he will be thrilled so I am too.

      1. Ooooo, this is something my own husband could use. Are they a universal type or specific to his particular brand of headphones?

        1. I bought from a shop called wicked cushions. The designs are clearly gamer centric but I found a pattern that I liked. They offer cushions for a range of brands but not the pair that my husband has. There are basically two types of designs (click into place and stretch into place), so I figured out which type we have and then took careful note of the measurements and clicked around on the website to find a pair of that size, even though it was ostensibly for a different brand of headphones. I took the risk and was so happy that they fit.

      2. I have the same niche need!! Where did you find replacement ear pads for peeling pleather ones?

        1. Am_zon! I have replaced mine (Bose) multiple times and they are very inexpensive. It’s a bit nerve wracking to replace them the first time (the click-in motion and method takes some getting used to) but it’s so easy thereafter.

    8. We always give each other a small gift “from the dog” in addition to the normal stuff. Usually it’s a mug with the dog on it or a toy. This year he is getting Trump dog poop bags. And I can already picture his glee using them.

    9. Giving to a whiskey enthusiast: Jumbo ice cube molds customized with the recipient’s initials

      Giving to miscellaneous adult relatives: Things we bought months ago on an international trip (jewelry, leather goods, nonperishable food and drinks). It’s so nice to have those crossed off our list

  11. Does anyone have Amex platinum? I get it for free with my new job, which kind of rocks but I’m not sure how to use some of the services and searching online it’s really helping. Too lazy to call, but not too lazy to ask here.

    How do the statement credits actually work? For example, there’s a $300 Lululemon statement credit annually but paid $75 per quarter. Does that mean if I spend $300 in January I’ll get $75 back each quarter so that my full $300 is recovered by end of year? Or does it mean that for a first quarter $300 purchase, I only get $75 credited. Then in the second quarter I need to spend another $75+ to get the credit.

    Make it make senseeee.

    1. I have Chase, but I imagine these benefits payouts are structured similarly. Quarterly means spend in the quarter and get it back in the quarter. A $300 one time purchase would be credited $75 once. To get $300, you’d need to spend $75 in each of the four quarters.

    2. Can’t speak to the Lulu credit, but check the “events” service. I’ve used it to get good Broadway tickets and they also have concerts.

      1. A very, very large investment bank. Household name that must have some partnership with Amex, or clear funds for them or something. I have nothing to do with that side of the house, but I will absolutely take the perk!

    5. No, a $300 purchase will not be reimbursed over 4 quarters. You will get $75 on that purchase and will need to make other purchases in other quarters to get the credit. It can be a lot to track, but it’s worth it. (I have the Gold card, not platinum). There are also “offers” that you can add to your card that rotate. I have saved a fair amount of money that way too-$25 off a Best Buy purchase, $20 off Lululemon etc. I don’t know if Platinum has the Dunkin or Uber credits-I’m guessing they do. For Dunkin, you can get the credit added to a virtual gift card monthly and get the money back whether you make an in-store purchase or not. For Uber, you cannot add to a gift card but have to use it for a ride (or Uber eats!) Remember the credits do not apply if you do not use the card, so you have to change the primary card on your Uber account to Amex in order to get the credit. There is also a Resy credit that applies once or twice a year.

    6. Up to $25 per month digital credit applies to NYTimes, Wall Street Journal, Hulu, Disney+, Paramount+ and a few others. Don’t do Paramount+ because it is included with Walmart+, which is fully reimbursed by the card. Monthly Uber credit. Marriot Bonvoy Gold Elite status. Hilton Honors Gold status. Equinox/SoulCycle credits. There’s a $400 Resy credit payable at up to $100 quarterl. Enrollment required for these, which you can do on the app under “Membership”.

      Saks credit at $50 each first half and second half of the year. LuluLemon as you mentioned, with purchases required quarterly to receive quarterly credits.

      Other rotating credits and discounts are readily visible in the AmEx app under “Offers”. You have to click to activate them individually. Right now there are particularly good ones for Dyson, Oribe, ASICS, Faherty, Lenovo, Dell, and Burberry.

      On Reddit, there’s r/AmexPlatinum if you want to be sure and not miss anything.

  12. I just got an instapot and I work from home – I see a lot of lunch soups in my future.

    What are your favorite soups that can be a meal by themselves?

    2. Ooh I love soup! I like the Natasha’s Kitchen recipes especially: try their chicken and wild rice soup, cabbage roll soup (with some rice for body if you prefer), and split pea soup! A little bit more effort but so tasty is kimchi nabe with some glass noodles. If you don’t eat meat, I’ve successfully made all of the above by just omitting the meat or subbing crumbled tofu/lentils.

    4. I absolutely love my instapot. I make a ton of curries, rice, mulled cider, steamed dumplings, stock etc.
      Dry beans in an instapot are ready in <30min. Which is downright amazing- dry beans are cheaper, easier to store, and tastier.

    5. I’m a fan of French onion and broccoli cheese soup. I freeze half so I don’t get bored.

  13. DH is going to Dubai for work in April and last night my in-laws shockingly said I should go with him (this involves them watching our kids). Dubai has never really been on my radar as a travel destination or bucket list place. I’m decently traveled (have been to lots of Western Europe, some Eastern Europe, Israel, India, Botswana/South Africa/Zimbabwe), but have become a more anxious traveler as I’ve aged and haven’t really done solo travel since I studied abroad in college. Is Dubai a safe place for a caucasian female to wander themselves? Is it an interesting/enjoyable place to visit?

    1. I am a WOC and have wandered through Dubai by myself with no real issues.

      Whether it’s enjoyable depends on what you like to do!

    2. Dubai is safe enough for white women, but for me at least, it is not where I would choose to go on a kid-free, grandparents babysitting trip. I would much rather save the grandparents babysitting for a trip to the south of France or Capri or somewhere like that, but I realize that this is very much a personal preference thing.

      1. oh, it is not exactly my top choice for a kid free vacation either. we just have trouble getting in-laws to agree to watch kids and this was sort of prompted by them. i dont really have a strong interest in going there. i am jewish, though not visibly so (i dont think? whatever that means?) and while it was interesting to visit India, i felt like i had to be on such high alert the whole time, that it was not the least bit relaxing. it’s more like DH will be staying in a very fancy hotel that we would never pay for on our own, though i’d honestly rather go with him to NYC when he gets a fancy suite there

        1. I’m Jewish and didn’t feel weird in Dubai or Abu Dhabi. I suspected you were too because of the reference to Israel and almost commented about that.

          That said I would much rather tag along on a work trip to NYC than Dubai!

        2. Can you tell the grandparents that you can’t swing this trip to Dubai in the spring, but you’ll take a “raincheck” on their offer to babysit for another trip?

    3. When things go wrong, they can go really wrong in the UAE. I would look at the advisories western countries like the US, Canada, UK, etc. provide for their citizens contemplating travel to the UAE. I would also look at some of the news reports of what has gone terribly wrong for women who visit.

    4. I haven’t been, but my SIL has, and if you like “glam manufactured indoor fun” it would be an experience – think skywalks, skyline views, luxury shopping, upscale dining. There was desert “adventure tour” stuff too, but overall it didn’t look that interesting to me as I prefer less of a “scene” and relaxed outdoor time.

      1. It’s the Mall of America if the people who went to the Mall of America had oil money.

    5. It’s safe.
      Whether or not it’s interesting is more personality dependent. We had 24 hrs there on a layover and thought it was cool to see but personally I can’t imagine building an entire vacation around it. At the very least you’ll want to take day trips to other Emirates.

    6. I think Abu Dhabi is a much more fun city and more enjoyable than Dubai, but I enjoyed both cities. Abu Dhabi is only an hour car ride from Dubai – we got a private driver to drive us from Dubai to Abu Dhabi. If you end up making the trip, I recommend doing high tea at Emirates palace, visiting the Grand mosque, and a trip to a falcon hospital to learn about falconry which is the national sport of the UAE (and you get to hold falcons!). Also I really loved visiting Ferrari World but not everyone is into theme parks or fast cars.

    7. It’s safe. I have wandered there solo, completely unbothered. It’s interesting to visit in the sense that it’s interesting to visit any place that is different from your own, but the culture is basically shopping mall. There is also the usual disclaimer about human rights in the UAE.

    8. Unencumbered as I am with any real information, I feel like it would be Vegas with human rights violations. So it would be a no for me.

      2. There are definitely similarities to Vegas but I love Vegas and didn’t really care for Dubai (separately from the humans rights issues.) I just thought it was boring. And I’m never bored in Vegas.

      3. This is a really good description. It’s basically run on slavery & indentured servitude. Appalling.

          1. Congratulations you have learned the ad hominem logical fallacy also known as: you too, appeal to hypocrisy, and tu quoque

          2. Fine whatever but all of you enjoy the massive wealth built up by Europe and the United States through slavery. We still feel the results of this wealth to this very day and nobody says ‘ew gross Amsterdam’. We WHITE wash those atrocities as things of the past, and then turn our noses up at Arabs for doing the same thing.

    10. Dubai sounds to me like a disgusting display of gross wealth and modern slavery. Will literally never go.

    11. It’s wildly safe. At the very least go spa and shop and have hotel relations with your husband.

    12. How much experience do you have going on your husband’s work trips? I’m sure this varies from person to person, but we did it a few times earlier in our marriage when we were more budget conscious and I always ended up not really having a good time. To me it feels much lonelier to have your spouse there but not really there than to be fully solo. I found it especially challenging in places where I wanted to have sit down meals in nice restaurants (I think Dubai would qualify) since I don’t enjoy doing that solo. We eventually realized that we were better off saving the added cost of bringing me on the work travel and taking a proper couples trip even if it was just a staycation in the city.

      Caveat my husband is in academia so there were no fancy hotel rooms involved. LOL.

      1. i will only tag along if it is a fancy hotel. he travels a lot for work, if his company is paying for his room (like this week) it’s not fancy, but if a client is paying, he stays in places like the St. Regis, Mandarin Oriental, Four Seasons, etc. One time he was put in a suite with 2 bathrooms…for 1 person! we don’t spend that amount of $$$$$ on a hotel.

    13. Never been, but it doesn’t have much of anything that I would want to experience. I can go indoor rock climbing anywhere these days, and a ski trip to a real mountain is much cheaper. The rest just seems to be “shopping mall” which is not my idea of a vacation. Throw in the ethical issues and there’s no appeal.

    14. Very safe, but the government is actively funding a genocide via the RSF in Sudan. I would never go as a tourist for this reason currently. Definitely do not post any photos on social media, as those who are knowledgable about the issue will side-eye you.

    15. We are going this year but have decided to break it up with a trip to Oman. Not super excited about Dubai but Oman while much more conservative seems more low key and has some wonderful natural beauty.

  14. For Thanksgiving drama, a relative bring a LOT of drama. The usual person she kicks around inadvertently copied her on a text blowing off some steam (so not directly attacking, but like “OMG Milly is at it AGAIN”). Cousin Milly did not take that well at all. Shocker that someone who can dish it out for decades, largely without people taking the bait or engaging, cannot take even a whiff of being criticized or having confirmation that that it’s not all unicorns and rainbows with her.

    1. Sounds like she got what was coming to her. I had a relative like that but worse (extremely aggressive and hostile at all times) and it was pretty sad how nobody was sad when he died.

    2. So the person finding themselves in a group text with a bunch of folks mocking them behind their back had the nerve to not be happy about it. And the takeaway is that…she’s the problem?

      1. I’m glad you’ve never been a decades-long punching bag for someone, where you were expected to shut up and take it with a smile. I hope you never have to experience that.

        1. I hope you get the therapy you need to realize that two wrongs don’t make a right.

  15. PSA – just got a Nordstrom Rack alert for an Eileen Fisher flash sale. Looks like there’s quite a few pieces under $100 with good size availability.

  16. Teen Kiddo (adult sized) has asked for a long-sleeve button up for Xmas. She is having a preppy moment. Where do we get them in 2025? I used to get from Lands End back in the day. I have a great chambray one from BR circa 2019. Where would you go now? I want her to browse to get a sense of what she really wants since she is usually a ruffles and monogram person.

    3. I totally get that this is an old lady store, but my super fave no-iron button up shirts are from Chico’s. They come out of the dryer absolutely ready to wear. Plus they are on sale.

    5. I think this depends on what kind of button up she wants & her body type. If she wants a slim fit and she’s tall but still kid proportions, Uniqlo men’s department is a good bet. H&M (also men’s) will have some good options as well. If she wants more of an oversized look, COS button up is fantastic. If she’s going for a vintage preppy look I’d honestly recommend a trip to the thrift store, men’s side.

    9. I’d definitely want her to give you some pictures of the kind of look or outfits she’s going for, so you can see the type of cut and fabric that she’s envisioning. That will affect where you shop — does she want oversized, cool, and relaxed? If so, you won’t find the right cut / fabric in a place that sells more tailored or work-ready shirts.

    10. The Old Navy boyfriend shirt is a good budget-friendly option. I’d size down, it’s cut oversized.

    11. I saw some really cute “cropped” ones at Uniqlo. (By cropped, I mean hip length, not belly baring)

  17. I read that Queens is getting a casino or some sort of gambling venue. Which I don’t get. Everyone gambles on their phones now and do people need a windowless smoke festival so close to AC (which I also dont understand) and the one in CT. If I’m in NYC, I want NYC and not bad pretend Vegas (which I go to for work events and enjoy the dining options and being able to day trip to the grand canyon).

    1. Queens isn’t really tourist NYC. It’s not going to impact you if you’re visiting NYC from out of town.

    2. It doesn’t sound like you are the target audience then. But lots of people do enjoy gambling and I would bet it’s targeting locals, bit tourists.

    3. uh yeah, if you don’t know who *the target audience* is for a casino in Queens, which will be loaded up with buses daily, then you haven’t spent enough time in outer boroughs

    4. There were also proposals for casinos in midtown Manhattan, including one in Times Sq., that got shot down after strong community opposition. The ones that were approved are in areas pretty far off the tourist track. That said, I am not convinced the ones that did get approved will be good for the city.

  18. Gift certificate that can be used at almost any B&B in the Midwest for my in-laws (Midwest B&B Association)

    Soccer club hoodie for my nephew

  19. Fair Isle style sweaters that are not crew neck and are relatively thin? A professional networking group is hosting an ugly sweater party and I want to be festive but professional. I have a large bust and I get hot flashes, so a thick crew neck sweater doesn’t work for me. Thanks!

    1. Boden has a good variety in several styles. I don’t have these specifically but have other Christmas sweaters from there that are thin wools and not too hot.

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