What to Wear to the Boss’s Holiday Party

The intimate office holiday party at your boss’s house:  it’s like it’s designed for trouble.  What do you wear?  Reader J wonders this very question…

I work in surgical research, and although this is a very different field than most people who read this blog, my work environment isn’t all that different when we’re not in the operating room- business casual, long hours, small division (within general surgery). I’ve worked here about a year and a half and am the youngest staff member here by about 20 years (I’m 23). My question is- what do I wear to a small, conservative Christmas party at the Chief of the division’s home?

We’ve talked about whether to bring a hostess gift, how to save money on fancy attire, and how to look professional in an evening gown — but we haven’t talked about what to wear to the intimate party at your boss’s house for a while, so let’s discuss.  (Pictured.) In my mind, you need to ask yourself a few questions.  The primary one is thus:  Who can you ask?  If you feel uncomfortable asking the men you work with, ask a female coworker or two.  Note that the answer, “My wife is wearing __” is not necessarily what you should be wearing, since you’re there in a different capacity.  For example: if the wife is wearing a sparkly, strapless cocktail dress, you should probably wear a more conservative but still festive dress (such as this, this, or this), or perhaps one of the great “party pants” (such as this or this) we’re seeing this season with some killer heels and a sparkly sweater.  The same thing goes if the secretary for the group says, “I’m wearing jeans and a funny holiday sweater!” You need to dial it up a little bit from that — perhaps a festive blazer with a pencil skirt or sheath dress.  [Read more...]

Holidays, Vacations, and Office Etiquette

I thought today might be an interesting open thread — how does your office handle the holidays? Is it big enough that you can take time off whenever you want? Is it so small that you have to ask for permission before you schedule holiday plans? For those of you who do usually work over the holidays, is it generally slow — and if so do you use the time to be super productive (e.g., zeroing out your inbox), or do you take it super slow yourself (come late, leave early, have long lunches)? Do you travel over the holidays, either to visit family or to take advantage of some of the great vacation deals we see around now? (Pictured.)

For my $.02: I’ve always gone home to Ohio for the holidays. When I was working in BigLaw it was never an issue when I booked the flights — I was usually lucky enough to not be doing anything that required me to be in the office, so I could always work from afar if I needed to. When I moved to a much smaller office for a nonprofit, though, it was considered a courtesy that you had to ask (pretty far in advance!) if you wanted to take time off, to ensure that our vacations didn’t overlap too much. Funnily enough, I don’t even remember what the “office etiquette” was in my first few years out of college (which tells me that I was probably totally ignorant of it and planned my holiday vacation whenever I wanted to).

Let’s hear it, readers — what is the office etiquette regarding holidays and vacations in your office? Have you ever worked with someone who you thought really breached office etiquette around this time of year?

The Hunt: Festive Blazers

Sure, we all know what basics professional women are supposed to have in their closets, but if you’re buying one for the first time or replacing one you’ve worn into the ground, it can be a pain to find exactly the right incarnation in stores. In “The Hunt,” we search the stores for a basic item that every woman should have.

I seem to recall that some readers were dubious about this the last time I posted that a festive blazer was a must-have, but I’m 100% serious here. Velvet is my fabric of choice — the matte fabric is more office-friendly than a metallic blazer, and — should sequins enter the picture, such as the tank I posted this weekend or one of the sequined miniskirts we’re seeing this season — velvet holds up much better than, say, lace.  [Read more...]

Under Pressure: Charitable Giving at the Office

Pressure Gauge, originally uploaded to Flickr by wwarby.Reader D wonders charitable giving at the office:

Around this time every year, non-profits make a big fundraising push. Do you (and your readers) think it’s appropriate for employees to solicit donations from other employees for non-profits they support? Relatedly, I have found that in many offices, there is some pressure to donate to causes or nonprofits that the company supports. While the causes may be worthy, compelled charitable giving is a little uncomfortable. Any thoughts on how to gracefully decline donating to the firm’s non-profit(s) of choice?

Yeouch. This should be an interesting thread. For my own $.02, I think the senior people should really do their best to “protect” the office from this kind of compulsion (including employees pressuring employees). Anything beyond a sign-up sheet for Girl Scout cookies posted discreetly in someone’s office or in a communal place — or a single email about how X is running Y race, and won’t you consider donating — is, to my mind, pushy, annoying, and unprofessional. Of course, half the time the pressure is coming from the higher-ups — I have one girlfriend whose boss puts tangible pressure on everyone to give lots of money to the charity for which he sits on the board. Classy! (Pictured: Pressure Gauge, originally uploaded to Flickr by wwarby.) [Read more...]

Poll: How much vacation time have you taken in 2009?

As 2009 draws to a close, inevitably many of you are preparing for vacation. As some of the weekend commenters noted, it is vitally important for one’s sanity that you take vacation regularly — but then, it’s often difficult if you’re particularly busy. (In fact, as we write this, a good friend has been up working for 36 hours straight — while on “vacation.”) So let’s talk about this.  (Pictured:  intense aruba sunset, originally uploaded to Flickr by atomicshark.)

First, a poll: [Read more...]

Reader mail: Which co-workers get a holiday card?

Reader J writes in with a request for help on holiday cards…

I wonder whether you could post a very timely comment thread. I sat down, as I do every year, to address and send my holiday cards – only to realize that as a first-year attorney at a rather large firm that I had no idea who I should include on my mailing list. Likewise, I’ve accepted a clerkship in the relatively near future – would it be appropriate to send a card to the judge or to the chambers? I’m very curious to hear others’ thoughts on whom they include on their lists and why. When is it thoughtful to send a card to a higher-up, and when is it just kissing behind? :) How does one cull the list – it can’t be that one sends a card to every person one has ever worked with!

We sympathize — office politics are incredibly difficult to navigate come holiday-time.  First, we stand by our advice last year on how to send holiday cards to coworkers, from how to address the letters, what kind of letters to pick, and so forth.  (Pictured:  New Year’s Fireworks, a pack of 8 available at MomaStore.org for $17.95.) [Read more...]