How to Deal with Not Making Partner: Reader Advice

how to deal with not making partnerReaders who have been there: What’s your advice to other attorneys on how to deal with not making partner? Reader E recently asked:

I was wondering if you could do a post on not making partner. I’m a sixth year at a large firm, and while I’m not being pushed out the door, my understanding is that partnership is not in the cards, either. On the one hand, this is okay. I never really wanted to make partner, and I can’t say I’m passionate about my job. On the other, ouch! I’ve seen posts about this in the comments, and I thought it might be nice to round them up in one place.

Great idea, Reader E. We haven’t devoted a post to the situation of not making partner, so let’s talk about it today. Here’s one way to look at a situation like this: When this happens to you, you may feel like you’re hanging by a thread — without anyone out there ready to catch you — but really, it can be the beginning of a great new adventure (and in fact it’s part of the adventure … just not the one you had anticipated or hoped for). As one Corporette reader once wrote in response to a young attorney who was worried about her low hours, “The firm that didn’t like me just wasn’t a good personality fit for me. At the time it was really demoralizing, but being pushed out of that firm was the best thing for my career because I found my wheelhouse at the next place.”

We’ve searched our comment threads and have found a good number of discussions about not making partner, deciding whether you even want to be partner, feeling like you’re getting pushed out at your firm, and regretting related career decisions you’ve made (or currently making decisions that may affect your chances to make partner). Do you remember, or have you bookmarked, other helpful comment threads along these lines? If this has happened to you, what advice did you receive from friends and colleagues on how to deal with not making partner? 

Here are some of the best reader discussions and advice:

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Beauty Empties: Which Products Do You Actually Finish and Then Buy Again?

Beauty Empties: Which Products Do You Actually Finish Ladies, what beauty products do you use so often that you get “empties,” where you actually get to the bottom of the lipstick or jar, and what do you buy again and again? I tend to rotate among so many different products that I almost never get to the bottom of anything, let alone say “I definitely need THAT again, right this instant.” Still, even I have my regular items that I buy again and again, so I thought I’d round up my beauty empties. Hopefully everyone will share their own lists!

Skincare Products I’ve Bought Again and Again

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How Long Do You Spend On Your Hair for Work?

Here’s a question I don’t think we’ve talked about before: How long do you spend on your hair for work? Did you choose your cut in order to spend less time on your hair? Do you prefer to spend a lot of time in one chunk (such as going to get a blowout once a week (or give yourself one) and then just brush-and-go your hair the rest of the week? Do you do your hair the same way every day, or do you have a “third-day hair” look (or, hey, a fourth- or fifth-day hair look)? There’s no right answer here, obviously — I’m just curious!

For my $.02, when I was younger I probably spent about 30–40 minutes a day on my wavyish hair — washing it daily, blowdrying it as well as possible. There were years where I spent time with a roundbrush and the blowdryer on a daily basis trying to flatten the coarser waves on the back of my head! (I even had a weird headband technique that I thought saved me time — I would take a hard plastic headband with teeth and, after blowdrying, wear it on top of my hair, around my neck, for about 15 minutes while I finished getting ready.) I definitely tried and discarded some hairstyles because they just required too much upkeep on my hair — for example, I loved the look of an asymmetrical bob but it only looked good if my hair was stick straight and freshly cut.

As I’ve gotten older the waves have become curls (I’m probably around 2C/3A for most of my head, with some annoying underlayers that are still more like 2A wavy) and my hair has gotten drier, so I wash it much less frequently, let it air dry at night, and am more likely to throw it up in a bun or other updo (or half-updo) for daily wear, with a commitment to getting a proper blowout when I’ve got any major meetings to attend. (I’ve always just popped in my local salon for a blowout, but I was blown away with how quickly the woman at Drybar did my hair — I swear she had it done in 30 minutes when it can sometimes take as long as 60–70 minutes elsewhere.) This week I’m going for another keratin appointment, which will ultimately reduce styling/drying time — but spending three hours on my hair at once seems like a huge time suck!

How about you guys: How much time do you spend on your hair for work? How much time you spend on a daily, weekly, monthly basis? What tips and tricks have you found to help you spend less time on your hair for work?

Psst: we’ve talked about how to make a blowout last for days, your favorite dry shampoo, easy office updos, and lots more about office hairstyles in general.

Pictured at top (ooh, and eligible for GWP!). This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
Social media picture via Stencil.how long do you spend on your hair for work
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The Best Dress Shirts for Women with Large Breasts

The Best Dress Shirts for Women with Large BreastsWhen you’ve got a big bust, shopping for blouses that actually fit and flatter can be pretty frustrating (see: “Why does fashion ignore big breasts?”), but there are some quality brands out there that specialize in dress shirts for women with large breasts. We last rounded up these busty blouse brands back in 2013, but the landscape has changed a bit, so we thought we’d do an update!

Pictured, clockwise: black / white / orange / white

In the past we’ve offered style tips for busty women and talked about how to dress professionally if you’re busty. We’ve discussed issues such as how to fix gaping blouses and whether a blazer must button to fit, as well as rounded up companies making bespoke dresses and blazers for the busty. Note also that Hourglassy is an invaluable resource if you aren’t already following along. (By the way, before you consider any of the brands below, make sure you’re wearing the correct size bra, which of course can affect how your tops fit.)

Here are some brands offering dress shirts for women with large breasts:

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The Hunt: Sleek Strappy Pumps for the Office

Sleek Strappy Pumps for the OfficeSure, we all know what wardrobe essentials for work professional women are supposed to have in their closets, but if you’re buying one for the first time or replacing one you’ve worn into the ground, it can be a pain to find exactly the right incarnation in stores. In “The Hunt,” we search the stores for a basic item that every woman should have.

When the weather starts to get brisk, I’m always on the hunt for great strappy pumps to wear with tights to work, whether they’re ankle strap, T-strap, Mary Jane, crisscross, or other styles with straps. (Particularly as someone with narrow heels but a wide forefoot, I swear by these for comfort and stability!) Strappy pumps like these are great for days where boots may feel too soon — and they can also be great as shoes that “live in your office” to change into if you do your commute in rainboots. This year, there are more heeled oxfords on the market than in previous years (like these nice ones from Isolá and Calvin Klein) — and of course wearing booties to the office is so trendy right now that we’ll do a separate roundup for booties (stay tuned!). We’ve included some of our favorite strappy office pumps this year — which are your favorites, ladies? In general, what shoes are your favorites to wear with tights to work — pumps, strappy pumps, booties, or something else? 

Psst: here are our favorite tights for work (just updated the post!).

Pictured at top, clockwise from top: one / two / three

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How to Deal with Extreme Coworkers

how to deal with extreme coworkersReaders, what’s your best advice for how to deal with extreme coworkers? We’ve talked about what to do when your boss has it out for you, as well as difficult coworkers who throw temper tantrums, but not in a while — so I asked lawyer/journalist Rebecca Berfanger to offer some advice… – Kat

Have you ever had a coworker or a supervisor who took things to the extreme at work? Maybe she screamed often or threw things, maybe she bragged about how she gave up sleep in order to put in longer hours, maybe she worked every holiday and weekend, or maybe she never took any breaks, not even to leave her desk or eat? Maybe she survived only on lattes? Did this coworker or boss expect you to be equally extreme in order to prove your loyalty to your job or clients? Was it actually an expectation of all coworkers — or just this one?

We’ve talked about difficult coworkers before, but this is more about those who know they are acting extreme and expect you to put up with them, or they believe that to be successful, you must behave in a similar way. If you’ve never had to work with an extreme person at work, consider yourself lucky. Studies have shown that a toxic work environment can cause extreme stress, including post-traumatic stress disorder.

So how can you deal with extreme coworkers?

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