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Sales of note for 9.10.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – 30% off your purchase
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Bergdorf Goodman – Save up to 40% on new markdowns
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – $29 and up select styles; up to 50% off everything else
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off wear-to-work styles; extra 30% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40-60% off everything; extra 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – BOGO 50% everything, includes markdowns
- White House Black Market – 30% off new arrivals
Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…
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And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
Some of our latest threadjacks include:
- What to say to friends and family who threaten to not vote?
- What boots do you expect to wear this fall and winter?
- What beauty treatments do you do on a regular basis to look polished?
- Can I skip the annual family event my workplace holds, even if I'm a manager?
- What small steps can I take today to get myself a little more “together” and not feel so frazzled all of the time?
- The oldest daughter is America's social safety net — change my mind…
- What have you lost your taste for as you've aged?
- Tell me about your favorite adventure travels…
Anon for this
In case anyone else is at the office today (certainly doesn’t seem like that’s likely based on current occupancy!) kicking off the thread with a travel-restaurant request: Venice and Verona.
Venice in particular, we are eager to escape the hordes around Rialto etc. but picking a random direction to go in search of food isn’t my favorite activity when hangry :) TIA!
Never too many shoes...
So we had an amazing dinner at http://www.ristoranteallamadonna.com/ last year. It is quite near the bridge but has been open since 1954 and has an old world quality to it (waiters in white jackets) and the seafood and tiramisu are wonderful. They do take reservations but you still have to kind of finesse the line up in the alley.
We also had a lovely lunch in Verona quite close to the amphitheatre but I will see if I have the name!
cbackson
If you’re looking for something special occasion-y, Met (the restaurant in the Metropole Hotel) is absolutely fabulous. It’s Michelin-starred and $$$ but absolutely worth it. The whole hotel has a 1920s Venetian vibe that I loved. (Also, they have a full vegetarian version of their tasting menu, which is pretty awesome.)
Anonymous
We enjoyed Quadri, a small modern restaurant. It’s on that busy tourist square, but upstairs so it’s an comparative island of calm. Really good selection of local wines.
CountC
I am useless on recommendations, but I am also in the office . . . putting out fires started by everyone but me. YAYYYYYY
January
ME TOO
Senior Attorney
Wow, thanks for this! We will be in Verona and Venice at the end of the month so I am following with interest!
BB
In general, I found the sit-down places in Venice to be pretty sub-par for Italy. The only place I liked was Ristorante Riviera on the south side of San Marco. The cafes with the big tramezzini sandwiches are also very good for casual dining.
Anon
+1 I hated all the restaurants we ate at in Venice. I love the food in Italy in general.
Lise
In Venice, Enoteco al Volto (for lots of excellent cichetti, we didn’t get dinner-type food) and Al Covo for a real dinner.
Anon for this
Thanks for everything so far, ladies! We are actually staying on Giudecca so expect we’ll eat a few meals there, and since it’s a little away from “tourist core” hopefully the food will be better accordingly.
Phone Case
Does anyone have an iphone case they love? My current one opens like a book with pockets for cards on the inside. I’ve liked it, but it is worn out and needs to be replaced. I’m looking for a case that (1) covers the screen since I tend to drop my phone, (b) can hold at least three cards, and (c) is colorful since my phone doesn’t need to look professional.
anon
I do! I got this case a few months ago and love it!
https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07D22S1B3/ref=ppx_yo_dt_b_asin_title_o01_s00?ie=UTF8&psc=1
Lika
I just moved from a more “corporate” job to a start up – so far I didn’t realize before now that it was possible to enjoy working this much. I know there will be downsides too though.
Have you done something like this? What was your overall experience? What were you most surprised by?
SSJD
Yes, I did that and loved it. I was surprised how much leeway I was given to do things I had no experience/authority/permission to do. There is so much to do and rarely is there a person with the exact experience, so you just jump in and get it done. There is a lot of learning (and some mistakes) along the way. I was most surprised by how willing I was to tolerate the risk in return for the freedom and stimulation. I will caution though that I’ve been through layoffs twice (and luckily left another start-up a year before it closed its doors). I’m in life sciences, where things often fail, so you may have a different experience. Enjoy the ride!
JumpedShip
Years ago, I moved from Big Insurance to a small insurance brokerage that was also experimenting with a VC-funded sales app. I went from anonymity in a customer service position and little chance of promotion beyond a coordinator role in an enormous company with many product lines to a management position with 10 direct reports and nearly double the salary and stock options. I worked on exciting projects like the app, was promoted to Operations Manager with three divisions reporting to me, and had the time of my life. Oh, and the office was two blocks from the ocean and we had company-sponsored outings like harbor cruises and massages at work. I could bring my dogs in on Saturdays and they had the run of the place. It was a wild ride, and I loved it. Bad management decisions including taking a few too many risks led to the company having to scale back and lay off all but about 6 people in a bad economy. I then freelanced (happily) for 10 years before getting my current public sector job. Wouldn’t have missed it for the world. But it all depends on your risk tolerance, I think.
Equestrian attorney
I’m at a tech company that has a startup-y culture, but has really expanded in the past few years and is gradually moving to a more corporate model. I was in biglaw before, so night and day.
Pros: so much flexibility. I can work from home, have flexible hours, and they are pretty good about vacations. Everyone wears jeans. We have free food, a rec room, lots of events, etc. The flexibility also means there is a ton of opportunity to take initiative and shine. The work is almost never boring and it’s cool to feel invested in the company’s success. While I did take a pay cut at first, my salary was rapidly increased and I have a generous bonus policy. Most people are very nice, and the place has a young, fun vibe. I am fortunate in that my boss is really great and values my work, so I don’t feel like just another cog in a giant machine.
Cons: the lack of processes can drive me crazy sometimes, and it can get messy (lots of people making decisions as though they were running the company alone and not thinking it through or *ahem* running it by legal). Benefits could be better. Objectives, strategies and performance measurement could be more clearly defined (right now it’s more of a “we like you, here is a bonus!” situation). Some of the people can be a little cliquey and tech bro culture is real. I don’t necessarily want to spend all my evenings at poker games, softball games, etc with the office (I have successfully opted out of most of these, but probably come across as a little aloof). We end up networking with a lot of similar size businesses, so I feel a little cut off from the main business scene in my city and sometimes worry about that if I ever want to make a change.
Of course the biggest risk with startups is that they will go bust (or pay you in “shares”). That’s not a concern for me at the moment and I assume you picked yours wisely, so enjoy the change of pace!
Anonymous
Don’t be surprised by the failure rate. Statistically, most new businesses fail, so keep a plan B in the back of your mind.
Anonymous
This is a really pessimistic comment, and not an answer to the OP’s question. Many startups fail. Some become Google, Facebook, Microsoft, etc. In my experience, bitter people who passed up great opportunities because they didn’t want to take risks seem to be the most snarky when they hear about other people who love working at startups.
OP, I did the reverse a couple of years ago – I went from a smaller, more agile company to a big corporation, and I’m dying. I am amazed at how busy people can make themselves appear when in reality, nothing is getting done and no progress is being made. I am waiting out my vesting period for the 401k (the benefits here are pretty great, I have to admit) and then I’m hopefully going back into a smaller organization that actually values innovation and results, and not just paying lip service to those things.
Anon
Eh, not the person you’re replying to, but I think it’s accurate and good advice and could be an answer to the question “What were you most surprised by?” It’s delusional to join a startup thinking it will be the next Facebook. You should have other good reasons for taking the job, and a safety net in the (likely) event it fails.
Coach Laura
Startup risk is large but I personally know about a dozen people who retired at 40 (or could have retired at 40 if they wanted) because they joined Microsoft early like 1985. And…I know several who passed up opportunities to work at Microsoft early and regret it.
Anonymous
I’m the poster you’re addressing, and the Facebooks, Googles, and Microsofts of the world are the extreme outliers. I work extensively with and fund start-up companies and to the other poster’s point, you wouldn’t believe the amount of delusion among people who work at them that their company will be the next Facebook or unicorn. Then they are shocked – SHOCKED! – when the next round of financing doesn’t come through and everyone gets laid off.
Anon
Good advice!! Not necessarily pessimistic, but realistic and a good reminder!
MJ
I moved from biglaw to a late-stage startup last year.
TL:DR – Embrace the good stuff! Protect from burnout.
Pros: extremely smart, engaged coworkers. (Biglaw had a lot of unhappy people and a lot of unhelpful staff, IME.) Exciting product and industry. True roll-up your sleeves culture. Opportunity for a seat at the table/boardroom to discuss more than just “Legal”.
Cons: Scaling pains; lack of defined policies and practices; founders unwilling to loosen reigns to allow competent hires to manage; burnout; understaffing; shifting priorities; fundraising (not necessarily a con, but can be distracting to legal).
The flipside of being given tons of responsibility is that soon you find yourself doing 2 or 3 jobs, indefinitely. I’ve worked in finance and biglaw and worked insane hours, but that was deal-driven. There would be lulls. At my startup, there are no lulls. There are only tenuous plans to hire more people into the Legal function. I’m exhausted and because I’m the sole Legal person, I haven’t taken a real vacation in months and months. Oh, and I just got transferred to a different reporting line and my boss loves to work weekends, all weekend. I do not love this.
Anon
Anyone else working today, tomorrow, and/or Friday?
I’m stuck working all 3 (as is most of my agency) and am wondering if there’s anyone here who can commiserate!
cat socks
I’m working today, but I’m able to leave after lunch. Have the 4th off, but will be back on the 5th.
In-House in Houston
I’m working 1/2 day today, but off the rest of the week. We’re closed tomorrow and I’m taking a “freebie” day on Friday. My Company offers one free day off a month if you work an extra 30 minutes a day. It’s pretty nice. I’m sorry you’re working all 3 days – will you at least get to dress causal, come in late and take long lunches?
Anonymous
Working today. Office is closing at 2 but I think I may stay because I am so behind – July and August are, cruelly, among my busiest times of year. For just about everyone else here, it’s slow in the summer.
Anon
I work for state government, so tomorrow is a holiday, but I’m working today and Friday. I don’t mind it though, I’d rather use my vacation days when things are busier.
Cookbooks
+1 This is what the rest of my week looks like.
Formerly lilly
+1 also. I’ve teed up some projects that I prefer not to be interrupted when I work on them, since I’m expecting particularly quiet days today and Friday. Sometimes it’s nice to work when most others aren’t at work, because of drastically fewer interruptions.
Anon
Same here.
Anon
Why would you rather use your vacation time when things are busier?
Anon
Not OP, but today and Friday are sort of free vacation-ish days – no one is around, so the people who are in the office come in late, leave early, take long lunches, goof off together and dress super casually. Why would I want to burn on a vacation day on that?
Pompom
Working today, working from home on Friday (as Thursday, my usual “summer wfh day” is a holiday).
I could have taken Friday off, as many of my coworkers did, but I’m out of town next week for 3 days so I just figured I’d work.
Anon
I’m working today, but can leave at 3:30, have tomorrow off for the holiday, and will be back in on Friday. I expect Friday will be completely empty in my office and didn’t want to waste PTO on it.
I’m wondering what you do that your office is open tomorrow. I’m not aware of any workplaces open tomorrow besides hospitals and stores, cause what is a holiday in American without shopping.
Anon
Emergency management planner. Technically the office is closed but I’d say about 60% of us are working.
I have the distinct pleasure of having to work 13 holidays in a row, as we have to have a skeleton crew working and on call at all times.
Most holidays are the skeleton crew that I keep ending up on, but holidays such as this one are all hands on deck due to the amount of public gatherings, events, etc.
Anon
Oh, that makes sense. I forgot about emergency services.
Do you get other days off to compensate for the holiday?
anonshmanon
Definitely commiseration. My office is closed tomorrow, but lucky me is at a conference that goes all week…
Inspired By Hermione
Who in the world would put a conference over the week of 4th of July?
Anon
It might not be in the US. My husband is a professor and regularly attends international conferences this week.
Anon
Although actually come to think of it, there is a conference in the US that a lot of his colleagues are at right now. So it’s not just international. Academics don’t really care about holidays :)
Anonymous
I’m “working” today, but I more or less finished what I needed to do this week by the end of yesterday. So, I’ll be cleaning my house and wiggling my mouse occasionally (telecommuter).
Clementine
Working today, off Friday. Planning on lots of fun summery things with the kiddos!
NotYourLawyer
I’m working all three days. I have a hearing in a pro bono case on Friday, and the next couple days are finally going to be quiet enough to prepare. I actually love working when no one else is in the office.
Inspired By Hermione
Working today and Friday. Will probably take off early and come in late on Friday.
CountC
Today and Friday for me. I was hoping it would be quiet but it is not turning out that way!
KS IT Chick
I’m here today & Friday, off tomorrow. I had wanted to take off Friday, but the other person who covers the same area of duties I do already had taken it off, and we’re supposed to avoid being gone at the same time if we can. Someone has to be here to keep the place running. (Hospital, so 24/7/365)
One meeting today, no meetings Friday will mean a pretty low-key set of days. I can get some policies & projects knocked out while I have some time to myself.
Anonymous
Hospital attorney here, also have to be in the office and on-call to deal with emergencies over the holiday and also this weekend. The joys ….
Anon
Emergency manager from earlier here- I feel your pain! No holidays in our industry…
Anon
Only tomorrow is a holiday for me so I’m taking Friday and Monday as PTO and taking my daughter on a mother-daughter trip to Santa Fe (destination crowdsourced here!)
Senior Attorney
Working today and Friday but leaving on vacation on the 16th so I have that to look forward to.
And actually I feel like I am on vacation already because my term as president of my Rotary club ended on Sunday so I no longer have 100 Rotary emails to deal with every day! I can just feel my brain space freeing up!
Anonymous
Congratulations on completing your successful term of service as president! I was president of a board awhile ago and found out through that experience I enjoy the “past president” position much more than the “president” position…although I probably will sign up for a leadership position again eventually.
Senior Attorney
Thanks! I have been saying that being president of Rotary is like being a boat owner (the two happiest days of owning a boat are the day you buy it and the day you sell it!).
Liza
Working today and the 5th!
Housecounsel
Working today and the 5th. Hoping nobody is in their offices so I can get a lot done.
Because this is a design blog now
Does anyone have any good interior design / decorating blogs that they follow?
I need to pick tile for a small bathroom and don’t know what exists b/w the Home Despot and the fancy Ann Sachs tile place I used to walk by in Georgetown.
Does it even matter? Like just go with what is visually appealing (to me: small black/white or hex floor tiles that are tile and not marble; subway tiles on the walls; some sort of non-white grout)?
A lot of things like paint are easy enough to re-do, but tile to me is FOREVER and I feel like a lot of things I don’t do so well the first time I do them (e.g., dating, career, etc.).
Mpls
I would look for pictures (Pinterest, Houzz, etc) that incorporate the elements you are already thinking of (small black/white floor tiles, subway tiles, etc) to see what they look like all together.
At this point, you don’t really need more choice (right?) you just need some help visualizing what you are already thinking of. I think your choices sound pretty good – classic and easily adaptable to changes down the road. You don’t want to go to trendy with these things, because, like you said, they are harder to undo.
If you have a small space, I would suggest either the black/white floor tiles OR a dark grout with the subway tiles. Doing both may feel really visually busy. If you want the white tile/dark grout (doesn’t show dirt like white grout), then I’d suggest a solid dark tile (maybe similar to the grout color) for the floor. I had a friend do that for her small bathroom and think it looks pretty good.
Anon
To me, dark grout with white tile looks like permanent dirt. I’d do white on white and clean your floors.
Anon
You can do a lighter gray grout with subway tile. It can look really nice.
I like your choices of the hex for the floor and the subway for the wall tiles. Very classic and unlikely to look dated. I say go for it.
Anon
+1 Gray is the happy medium here – it looks much fresher than black, but it is way easier to keep clean than white.
Anonymous
I did white marble with a light grey grout and the grout looks dirty all the time! And I clean it all the time!
If this is a master bath or a heavily trafficked bath I’d vote grey tiles and grey grout. We just did another bath with grey/grey and it’s so much better.
Senior Attorney
Don’t do white grout on the floor. It is impossible to keep clean. (Ask me how I know…) I did black small hex with black grout on the floor in my last house and it was great.
And I second the suggestion of going through Houzz and Pinterest to see what appeals to you.
Anon
I feel the exact opposite. Dark grout is intentional and looks that way, so it doesn’t look dirty. The minute white grout gets even a whiff of a stain it looks bad.
Anon
See, I don’t think it looks intentional. To me, it actually looks like the horrendously dirty tile in the actual subway. I like the idea of doing gray like others have mentioned though!
anon a mouse
A tile store would be your best bet. In the Va suburbs, we have had good experiences at Mosaic Tile (or look on Yelp for other options). It will help to have a rough idea of what you are looking for in terms of shape and color, but they have done this a ton and will have good suggestions.
My personal preference is against small tiles, because it can be hard to keep the grout clean. But I agree that they look really pretty.
nutella
Yes, small tile is gorgeous but a PAIN to clean bc it’s so much grout. Perhaps do the small tile as a backsplash where it will get less dirty. A tile store (need not be Ann Sachs, but droooool!) will help you get appropriate tile grade for floor (it will need to be slightly textured so it doesn’t get slippery). I echo others in that I prefer a light gray grout – when small enough you don’t notice it – because black always reminds me of the literal subway grime and white is a pain to keep clean (was in my kitchen growing up)! If you do two different white tile floor and walls, be sure to pick the actual tiles and place them next to each other as not all whites look the same (one may be bluer, grayer, yellower, etc.). Dark tile would also look fabulous as would all one tile (again, you will use ‘floor grade’ so it’s not slippery but have it on the walls, too). From there, switching out paint, etc. is a simple way to change the look. I wish so badly the previous owners of our house did this in one of the guest bathrooms so you could just change the paint but instead they opted for brown granite – no coat of paint of colorful shower curtain is going to change the fact that it’s a brown bathroom. :-/
The original Scarlett
Remodelista and Apartment 34 are my go-tos. Check out Cle tile, it’s my new fave
Clementine
FWIW, our house is from the 30’s and has black and white basketweave tiles with black grout on the floor, black trim tiles and white tiles with white grout on the walls. It’s a classic for a reason.
We painted one bathroom a really fun mint green and leaned in to the vintage look but the other tile we painted a more subdued color and it looks fairly modern and chic with white towels and minimal accessories.
Calico
Search for tile on Emily Henderson’s site. She provides invaluable advice about mistakes she’s made in the process in addition to having gorgeous taste.
Anonymous
But it is sooooo expensive! Do not fall in love with handmade Fireclay tile or cement tile (which isn’t necessarily that $$$ but has crazy shipping costs). OP, your tastes sound very affordable and classic. The danger of design blogs is they lead you to the dark side of very expensive tile. Also consider installation costs for anything that will involve a lot of cuts (like herribone layouts).
Anonymous
You might try the Gallery pages for high end tile suppliers, they often have images of finished product installations. I am a Sonoma tile and Fireclay tile fan.
anon
I did exactly that in my bathroom, and it is a classic look so I wouldn’t overthink it too much. I would suggest gray grout. It doesn’t show dirt as badly, but doesn’t give the gross dark grout on white look that looks dirty. The hex tiles are a good price at Home Depot. For the subway tiles, you need to decide whether you want glossy or flat. I went with flat so it doesn’t show water spots as much.
Anonymous
I moved to a new city January 1, and I’ve been marketing my a** off trying to get out in the new community. Lots and lots of lunches and happy hours. I’m a Sr. Associate trying to make partner in 2021. I know that my firm wants me to be ready to inherit work from a retiring partner (he’s set to retire in 5 years) but they also want me to be getting my own clients. I am meeting the minimum billable requirement, but am not currently on track for a bonus. The way my firm calculates the bonus means I’d only get $1,000 or so, so the money doesn’t motivate me. Should I keep focusing on marketing the second half of the year, or should I buckle down on hours and try to hit the bonus target so the partners know I am willing to do the hours?
Anonymous
Keep working on the client side. Given the size of that bonus, and the fact you’re meeting your target, you are much, much better off in the long run trying to meet the qualifications of partnership, not the bonus.
The original Scarlett
+1 – also, if you build your own book you can take it with you if you don’t make or want to be a partner there
Anon
Seems to me like you should focus on building and consolidating your internal relationships in the first year. But what do I know?
Anonymous
How are you doing in getting your own clients? How many hours short are you for the bonus level? Which metric counts more for making partner? If you only meet the expected billing requirement and you don’t have any clients to show for it at the end of the year, I think that’s going to be a tougher sell than you coming in at or close to the bonus mark. Now, if all of this marketing is paying off and you’ve generated a lot of new business then that may be different. Do you have a friendly partner that you can ask about this?
nosy
yes OP, if you are comfortable I’d love to hear what your hours requirement is
(simply as a mid level associate with wild curiousity about what I have to look forward to as I progress!)
Anonimoose
Anyone have recommendations for a good side dish to bring to a picnic tomorrow? No refrigeration, so nothing with mayo or that will spoil if it’s left out for more than a few hours. I’m guessing everyone will be bringing pasta salad so I’m looking for something a little different. TIA!
anon
The skinnytaste potato salad with green beans and olives was good- no mayo.
Anon
Chickpea salad?
Anonymous
Yes! Chickpeas, carmelized onions, grilled peppers, lemon juice, olive oil, feta if the weather allows. So good.
cat socks
My go to summer dish is the summer corn salad from Mel’s Kitchen Cafe. The recipe calls for basil, but if I don’t have it on hand I leave it out and it still tastes great.
Anon
Fruit tray? Veggie tray? I personally would go with the easy classics.
Anonymous
Barefoot Contessa guacamole with chips.
Anon
Mayonnaise doesn’t spoil faster than other salads.
Anon
This is correct. The idea that mayonnaise spoils quickly is based on 30+ years ago manufacturing and bottling techniques.
Your mayo based salad will be fine.
Anonymous
Or homemade mayo, which features raw egg yolks and is delicious
Anon
+1 million! This is one of my biggest pet peeves.
Anonymous
Black bean salad- a little corn, chopped bell peppers, onion, cilantro
Senior Attorney
Yes, this is my go-to. Everybody loves it.
Lana Del Raygun
Fruit salad! With a dressing of lime juice, maple syrup (or honey), and cut+muddled mint.
Anon
I was contacted by an organization asking me to apply for an open position they have. They know me because I work with them sometimes in my current role. The HR person who reached out said she thought I would be a great fit for the role, and that she and the role’s supervisor really wanted me to apply. When I read the job announcement, it said the interviews would take place on July 11. I applied. A few days later, I had to schedule an event for work on either July 10 or 11, and I purposely scheduled it for July 10, so that it wouldn’t conflict if I was offered an interview. Today, I received an email from the HR person offering an interview, but informing me that she had made a mistake, and that the interviews would now be taking place on July 10, and she confirmed that this is the only day they will be holding interviews. I CANNOT miss this work event – it’s an all-day event for which I have sole responsibility, and I’ll pretty much be fired if I skip it. I also really want a new job. What do I do?
Anon
You tell the HR person exactly this. That you acted on the previous decision and now have a work committment that you cannot get out of without being fired. It’s their mistake not yours. There is no way that July 10 is the only day in the history of humanity that they can do interviews, especially if they are particularly interested in you. If they claim it is and are okay with you risking your current job…do you really want to work at a place that is so inflexible and cares so little about people?
anon a mouse
Do you know the supervisor? If so, send an email to HR, cc’ing the supervisor, emphasizing your interest in the job and that you scheduled a work event around the date in the job posting. And that you hope that they can find a way to accommodate you for an interview, since you had planned with the intention of being available.
If at all possible, I would not limit my communications to just the HR person. It’s highly possible that she screwed up the date in the posting to begin with and no one else realized it.
Anon
Tell them you can’t interview on the 10th! They want you so badly, they can change on their end. Plus it’s their screwup.
Ellen
If you want the job, you need to be flexible. Dad says, to take the interview and if you do well, take the job. Otherwise you will be stuck where you are, which is not where you want to be. Dad is so smart, that is why he is MENSA! YAY DAD!!!!!
Anonymous
You answered your own question. You can’t miss the work event or you’ll lose your job. Trust me when I say, this dilemma sucks but it doesn’t suck worse than having no job and having to explain to future employers why you were terminated. There is absolutely no assurance that if you ditch the event and get fired, the company you’re interviewing for will hire you. And don’t even think about faking a family emergency or illness to get out of the event so you can go interview – if people find out (and somehow people always find out!), your reputation is toast and it will take years to rehabilitate it. You will probably get fired from your current job and the new place won’t want to touch you with a 10-foot pole because you got fired for lying (people always find out about that kind of thing too).
I am sorry; this sucks. But you go back to the recruiter and explain the situation. Offer to do an early-morning or evening phone interview on that day. Offer to come in first thing the following morning (even at like 6:30 or 7 if need be) to get the interview done. But don’t skip your work event to interview.
FWIW if they are genuinely interested in you as a candidate, they will flex when you explain the situation. I have worked in HR and almost never have I seen a situation where people really, truly only could interview candidates for a job on one day. If they don’t work with you on a better interview time, take that as a sign that they aren’t really interested in you. This may be a situation where they have an internal candidate who they are going to hire, but they are going through the motions of bringing other people in for window-dressing purposes. Don’t sabotage yourself in the present for a future opportunity that may not materialize.
OP
Thanks, all! I really appreciate everyone’s input.
Anon
Has anyone tried Aella pants? Looking at their photos, they look a little too tight for an office environment, or maybe it’s just the marketing that’s off?
anon a mouse
I have to get a new iphone because my ancient one is on its last legs (and third battery). Looks like my best bet is either the 8 or the XS – I don’t want to go any bigger than the XS, and I definitely want portrait mode.
If you have recently purchased one of these, can you share your thoughts? I am wary of the facial recognition on the XS but I like the bigger storage. Mostly I just want a phone that takes good pictures and has a battery that can support heavy use for most of the day.
Anonymous
My husband has the 8 and I have the XS. Picture quality is far superior on the XS. I love it so much. I’ve never been the person who buys the latest version of electronics, and I’m so happy I did this time.
Apple usually announces new phones for purchase in September. I haven’t followed for this year, but worth looking into if you can wait that long– prices will probably drop on all models.
anon a mouse
thank you, that’s very helpful! I can’t wait that long, unfortunately – I need a replacement before an upcoming trip and I don’t want to be tethered to a charging brick the whole time.
Inspired By Hermione
For the two things you want, not the 8. I didn’t think the battery life was great.
I have an XR and the battery life is amazing, but it is very large. So I’d do the XS.
UHU
Nokia is making phones again! 2 day battery life.
Anon
I just got the XS (upgraded from the 7) and I’m very happy with it. The battery life and camera are great.
GovtMule
I just got the XS. It was also a forced purchase because of a broken phone. I really love it. The pictures are really amazing. Mine came with earbuds that fit the charger port. Battery life has been great. I do use the facial recognition. My wife, who got the phone at the same time, does not. You can select not to use the facial recognition, but you will need to enter your pass code each time.
It is larger than my last phone (which I think was a 6?), but I quickly got used to it. Honestly, my only complaint after the first 3 months is that the flashlight toggle is quick to turn on, and really hard to turn off!
Anon
Actually if camera and display are the deciding points, I found photos taken on the IPhone 7 Plus to be way better than the XS.
UHU
Great choice, Elizabeth!
cbackson
Knitters, help! I have some very basic knitting skills (I can knit and purl, but I can’t read patterns, don’t know how to do the gauge stuff, etc.). I’d like to actually learn how to knit but my recollection from the last time around is that a lot of the projects in the books I checked out were either scarves or frumpy weird things that were of no interest to me (like…knitted toilet roll covers). Can anybody recommend a good learn-to-knit book that has projects that a somewhat hip late 30s woman would like?
UHU
I don’t have any book suggestions, but there are tons of great resources on line, love love so many of the jumpers here: https://mymodernmet.com/cool-knitting-patterns/, for example.
anonknitter
Check out the patterns from Tin Can Knits. Lots of really nice beginner patterns that are attractive.
gov anon
I’ll second the Tin Can Knits suggestion. Look on Ravelry for Tin Can’s Simple Collection. Starts with a scarf and each project builds skills until you’re working on sweaters.
Anon
I don’t think you should be planning to learn to knit, learn to read patterns, and make an actual thing at the same time. I used to teach small groups to knit. Invariably some participant would ask “ooh, what are we making?” as we were just learning to cast on. I’d say “a big piece of nothing.”
In other words, a swatch. Make swatches to learn new stuff like garter stitch, stockinette, ribbing. Make swatches where you do increases and decreases. Make a few swatches with basic cables. Try different needle sizes. Do all this to get your tension even and figure out what your gauge is before you embark on a project where you’ve invested in serious yarn.
It doesn’t matter that you’re making nothing. You’re learning the basics of knitting. Once you have this down, then make something small. Not a sweater. Not even a scarf (because a scarf is hours and hours of going back and forth and is actually a terrible project for learning.) make a hat that isn’t in the round but is a flat piece with decreases at the crown that you then sew into a round. Then try one in the round with double pointed needles or small circular needles. Then move on to bigger projects.
cbackson
To be honest, unless I’m making something, I won’t have the motivation to do it (and I also don’t like generating something that will just get thrown away). For example, right now I’m making a washcloth to help get my very basic skills tuned back up. I know if I was just making swatches, I wouldn’t pick it up every day.
Mpls
+1 – though a washcloth is kind of big swatch :) I taught myself to stitch in the round because I wanted legwarmers for after yoga and couldn’t find ones I liked. So the first one was a lot of learning, and then I reinforced those early skills with the second one.
So I think the key is simple projects that only add on a skill or two from what you already have. Ravelry can be a good place to explore (I think they rate patterns by experience?). And then just know you’ll have to pull out the stitching a few times. This is how every new crochet patterns goes for me as well, and I’ve got more experience with crochet than knitting (which is to say it isn’t also an experience-level thing).
Anon
Swatching is part of the discipline of being a good knitter. You need to swatch before a project, every project, to understand your gauge with a given yarn and needle size, and you may need to re-swatch to get the right gauge for the pattern.
That said, cotton wash cloths are just big swatches and it doesn’t matter too much whether your gauge is off, or whether you mess up. One thing I do suggest is intentionally dropping a stitch and learning how to pick it back up, especially if it ladders down.
Anon
And in terms of patterns – ravelry is an excellent resource. Create an account – they do not bombard you with spam.
Anon
Meh. If you aren’t particularly worried about the exact size of the piece (or if it’s unimportant–like for a scarf or a blanket), swatching is unnecessary (and boring ;)). To be a “good knitter” you’re right. But it’s a hobby for me, not a profession. I look for ways to make it fun that aren’t drudgery. I do plenty of drudgery work at work.
Anon
OMG, it’s just knitting; it’s a hobby for most people. OP can do it however she wants and if you think that makes her not a serious-enough knitter, who cares??
Anon
*Swatching is part of the discipline of being a good knitter.*
I don’t do “discipline” in my hobbies (but of course, lots of people do!), but I think an important part of whether swatching is important in somebody’s knitting would be the neverending process vs. product knitter debate.
Do you knit to make a (possibly “perfect”) product with the end product as the motivation for you knitting, or do you knit to enjoy the process of knitting (or planning, or learning a new stitch, or choosing colours, or starting new things etc) more than the product itself. I think that the more product oriented your outlook is, the more important finishing, correct gauge etc will be for your feeling of success since the product has a purpose after the knitting is done. If you gauge is off (and you don’t do math to compensate) the proportions of the item may be a little off, so that’s worth learning about.
If however you want to make a particular hat, and learning to knit in the round, decreasing for the crown, or maybe just using a new yarn is the fun bit – and you want the process more than a hat in a preset size for person X, it doesn’t necessarily matter if you do everything a little too big, or out of proportion etc. – maybe person Y would like a hat as well…
For a beginner, thinking about whether you normally do hobbies in a process vs project mindset might help you to decide whether *you* should focus on swatches, and practicing more, or whether you might enjoy doing a few wonky items for the fun of it.
You need to swatch before a project, every project, to understand your gauge with a given yarn and needle size, and you may need to re-swatch to get the right gauge for the pattern.
Carrots
I think though that you can make a swatch big enough to be a washcloth, so just keep repeating that. You make a couple of them with different patterns and then you can bundle them up as a housewarming gift for someone. Or if you get enough washcloths, when it’s done, you can attach a ribbon, sew up the sides, and it’s a soap saver.
Anon
For sure. I am the one who suggested swatching heavily but cotton washcloths are fine. I really never taught people to knit on cotton because it’s not as stretchy as wool and therefore harder to learn on (I’m still not a big cotton knitter as it hurts my hands after a while) but if OP is comfortable knitting with it, that’s great.
I still stand by not jumping into a big project before really getting the skills down. I have seen way too many barely started sweaters languishing because they weren’t turning out right, and people brought them in to fix them, when really what needed to happen was unraveling, washing the wool, and learning to knit better before starting again.
Most people who try to learn to knit don’t stick with it because their creations aren’t turning out they way they envisioned. And buying a kit or an entire setup for a larger project isn’t cheap – it can easily run $100-$200, and that’s before you get into the designer yarn category.
So, for a successful start to hopefully a lifelong hobby of knitting, yes, swatch! But washcloths ARE swatches in a way, so if they’re working for you, carry on!
Anon
Another +1. I learned (on my second attempt) to learn knitting to be picky about patterns in a specific way: I needed to have the vast majority of the skills required by the pattern already mastered–add only one thing at a time. So, I could do a fun new stitch, but it was on a baby blanket. The baby blanket ended up being ginormous but my SIL loves it, so, probably still worth it. I got bored (and had to wait on more yarn) in the meantime so I did a baby doll blanket with a more intricate stitch–note that I chose a simple basic shape (and it the project was small in general) because I ramped up the stitch complication factor. My next project was a cape for my niece :). Fun, fairly easy, but I had to pattern some of it myself and learn a couple of new small skills. I am almost finished with a small romper for the newborn niece (needs finishing work–snaps and an edge came undone), and am working on a larger version for the older niece. The stitch is very very simple (garter and stockinette) but I have to follow a pattern, change colors frequently, make stitches, etc. etc. I also made a couple sets of baby booties and hats for baby presents along the way. If you post a burner email I can email you some of my patterns–they are generally in PDF but I may have some links, too. My biggest suggestion is to find a local knitting store with kind staff–they are invaluable when I get stuck and can’t fix it via Y*utube learning.
Anon
sorry for the typo! *by being picky about
Anonymous
Doll blankets are the absolute best starter project. You can make them with any type of yarn and try out any stitch pattern, and they are small enough that they don’t take forever. I taught my daughter to knit her first simple doll blanket when she was five years old.
Once you’ve got the basic stitches down, a simple hat is a great way to learn decreases and knitting in the round. You do need to check gauge first on a hat.
Coach Laura
I have a Martha Stewart knitting pattern that is 10+ years that I love. It’s a baby jacket, blanket and hat made out of multiple wash-cloth sized pieces that are whip-stitched together. It is darling. It’s what I make when I want something easy but useable.
anonymous
I am just getting into knitting as well! I am taking a class at my local yarn shop to learn the basics – a few stitches, how to gauge and read patterns (and they give you a specific project, after the first 2 hour class one should have enough tools/knowledge to make an infinity cowl, after the second class, a winter beanie, etc). I also purchased a few very cute looking knit kits from We Are Knitters and Knit Picks – they have kits for various skill levels, including the most basic beginner, and includes cute blankets, scarves, even tops/cardigans (obviously not for a true beginner but simple enough to follow once you learn to read patterns). Last, there are tons of youtube clips that explain certain stitches, blocking, casting on/off, etc. Good luck!
Anon
Go on Ravelry.com
Think about what you want to knit. It could be a top, leg warmers, mittens, a pillow case – whatever you want to learn to knit to do.
Then go to patter search on ravelry and use the filters to find a pattern that is considered easy and that has more than a thousand project (aka the pattern works)
Have a go, and look up youtube tutorials when you don’t understand.
Another good source (which is also on ravelry): knitty.com
Rose Facial Oil
I have fairly oily skin, especially as the day progresses. Not a whole ton of breakouts, but skin can get annoyed during the summer and break out. I’ve been using rose facial oil for about two weeks now and my skin looks AMAZING.
Clementine
Brand/source? Using it just like a serum or as a cleanser?
I’m intrigued! Also, feeling bad for myself because I’m currently locked in a windowless conference room writing a big, boring thing and looking for a treat to motivate myself.
Anon
I’m not the OP on this, and it’s a little different but I use Herbivore Blue Lapis oil at night and I LOVE it. I have very pale skin and so redness shows up a lot on my face for every little thing and that oil reduces redness SO MUCH! I also love the smell.
OP
Too excited for details, apparently, ha. I was skeptical after hearing about it here, so I grabbed the Trader Joe’s one when I saw it in the store. It was ~$4. The reviews said great things, except it does have a little fragrance, which can be irritating to some. For what it’s worth I have sensitive skin when it comes to fragrances–cannot handle any detergents/heavy scents/etc.–and haven’t had issues.
I use it before my SPF moisturizer or at night after a post-gym shower.
I’m a huge fan of TJ’s clear shampoo and the coconut hair mask, so I figured it would probably be good enough. Not sure if I will “fancy” it up.
Anonymous
Please tell me everything about this.
BPS
Any recommendation for skill-building resources (books, blogs/sites, podcasts) for interviewERS? Trying to help my team develop stronger interviewing skills so we get better-matched candidates. TIA!
Anonymous
Ask A Manager has a lot of helpful interview advice. I highly recommend it.
Bean74
Has anyone else had a bad reaction to mineral sunscreens/sunblocks? I’ve tried SuperGoop and Peter Thomas Roth powder and lotion. Each has made me breakout terribly. Does anyone have suggestions for regular, I guess, chemical-laden facial sunscreen that doesn’t break the bank and that is good for reapplying during the day?
Clementine
Honestly, TJ’s regular sunscreen is a go-to in our house. Don’t let perfect be the enemy of good – we’re using sunscreen and using it frequently and in enough quantity, I’m okay that it’s not the best stuff out there.
A friend whose kid has sensory issues suggested it as one that absorbs very quickly and easily, doesn’t feel gross and isn’t pricey.
Alternately, my husband likes the Aveeno sunscreen.
Anon
Every single thing in the world is chemical-laden :)
Anon
The world is made of chemicals! Hydrogen, nitrogen, carbon, oxygen, etc. and combinations thereof.
Anon
There is nothing wrong with wanting a mineral sun screen that is not designed to seep into your skin that recent reports have called for looking into due to potential carcinogenic properties. Using an “everything is chemicals” argument you’re being intentionally obtuse.
I’ve tried and liked Bare Republic, Drunk Elephant and Paula’s Choice mineral sun screens. They go on without a purple cast. As far as breaking out, maybe you’ll just have to do trial and error. If all the trial and error leads to the same thing, you’re likely allergic or sensitive to the active ingredient and well…that sucks.
Anonymous
This. Even the AAP suggests not using oxybenzone which is in many chemical sunscreens. Trying to find a mineral sunscreen instead of using a chemical one, especially for daily use vs. a couple weeks on vacation, is a sensible approach, not an ‘evil toxins’ thing.
Anon
Just use the right terminology then. Chemical-laden isn’t it.
Different anon
Well, even physicians differentiate between “chemical” and physical sunscreens. So, saying chemical sunscreen is part of a recognized sub-category.
Anonymous
So ‘chemical facial sunscreen’ is okay but ‘chemical-laden facial sunscreen’ is not? A bit pedantic no? Sunscreens are either chemical or physical (mineral) so you are quibbling over the inclusion of the word ‘laden’?
Anon
I get that not all chemicals are harmful, water is a chemical, etc., but “physical” and “chemical” are very standard descriptions of the two most common types of sunscreen. Everyone knew what she meant.
Bean74
I wish I could find a mineral sunscreen that worked but I haven’t been able to do so. I suspect it’s the zinc that’s causing the reactions. I have tried Drunk Elephant as well.
Because the mineral lotions haven’t worked, I’m looking for a chemical sunscreen over a physical sunscreen at this point.
My post was confusing.
JuniorMinion
biore watery essence
Missha sun milk
etude house sunprise
These are the three facial chemical sunscreens I’ve tried and liked. I’ve had good luck with chemical sunscreen for face and physical sunscreen for body – not sure if you are having breakouts just on your face or everywhere via physical sunscreen but I’ve noticed my face seems to be more sensitive to the physical sunscreen. For body, I’ve liked the neutrogena products for chemical sunscreen and blue lizard for physical. I’ve also liked good old coppertone….
Also – whatever oxybenzone is doing to me its not as bad as getting melanoma in my 30s like the parent whose skintone I have…
Anemone
Canmake Mermaid UV Gel is my HG. I also love two of JuniorMinion’s picks, Biore Watery Essence and Missha Sun Milk.
Bean74
“Chemical-laden” was intended to be tongue-in-cheek as I am aware that everything contains chemicals. :)
I was looking for a chemical, rather than physical sunscreen because my suspicion is that it’s the zinc that’s causing a reaction. I should have been more clear.
Anon
Biore Watery Essence is my go-to, but I haven’t really tried many others. Pretty ticked off that Amazon, for some reason, will no longer ship it to Alaska.
Anon
I had a bad reaction to Supergoop as well. I suggest EltaMD sunscreens! They’re mineral-based, but rub in without a white cast on my olive-toned skin. I use the tinted spf 44 one for my face, and the UV shield for my body. The brand is recommended by lots of dermatologists.
Dermstore is having a 20% off sale on EltaMD through the weekend, too!
Anonymous
Seconding for Elta MD! Have been using consistently for about a year. No adverse reactions.
Poppies
Me too!! Love it!! But it does use zinc, if that’s the culprit.
NYCer
Not exactly what you asked since it’s not chemical laden, but I have had good luck with Elta MD UV Clear and with Cotz for sensitive skin.
Anonymous
isn’t UV clear Elta’s chemical sunscreen?
Anonymous
I like CeraVe mineral
nom
You might be sensitive to one of the “inactive” ingredients that’s common to both Supergoop and the Peter Thomas Roth products. Might be worth cross-checking on something like EWG (environmental working group) or CosDNA. If it is a sensitivity, finding out the specific ingredient so you can avoid it is important, since it could just as easily be in “chemical” sunscreen formulas as well.
Personally I use Etude House Sunprise Mild Airy Finish (which is a mineral sunscreen). I’ve heard really good things about some of the la roche posay options, esp the SPF50 antioxidant serum, but I don’t have first-hand experience with it.
Anon
+1. I’m not a derm, but I think it would be pretty weird to have an allergy to zinc oxide. It’s very soothing and non-reactive and is the primary ingredient in lots of stuff for baby skin, including diaper rash cream. Babies have super sensitive skin (many parents even buy special baby laundry detergent) and I’ve never heard of a baby reacting to diaper rash cream, so zinc oxide must be pretty safe. I would try a mineral sunscreen made specifically for babies. I use ThinkBaby and really like it. It’s not cheap though.
Seventh Sister
I really like Neutrogena Beach Defense (the one in the yellow bottle). Despite the name, it doesn’t have a beachy and/or strong scent. It goes on easily and I’ve never had a reaction to it (allergic or acne-related). My kids use it, but they also use the spray sunscreen because honestly, I’m trying to cover maximum surface area in Southern CA while also getting to work on time.
I’m a white girl with olive-ish skin and tan easily. One of my kids has a similar skin tone, the other has dad’s coloring which means she turns red under a heat lamp. It works on both.
Anonia
I get hives from every physical block sunscreen I’ve tried. Currently I like Ocean Potion spot stick and Fresh Sugar Sport for lips. And a hat. Always a hat.
Anonymous
I want to try a barre class for the firs time – does anyone have recommendations for good grippy socks?
Anonymous
No, but you might want to hold off buying grippy socks if you can until you decide you like barre!
Anon
They’re all basically the same, it really doesn’t matter.
Anon
Every barre studio I have ever been to has grippy socks, and they are basically all the same. I would just buy some when you arrive for the class.
nom
+1 This is what I did. Plus some studios give you a discount on gear when you start (and/or if you buy a multi-class pass)
ATL rette
I do a lot of barre and prefer the Be brand. They have built in arch support and the grippies feel evenly distributed. I also like that they are cut like regular socks and not toe socks.
Anonymous
You don’t really need them, and I would recommend waiting until you know you like the class. I didn’t show up with grippy socks my first time, and good thing, because I hated barre. I was glad not to have bought anything.
CountC
And then there are people like me who prefer to be barefoot. I can’t stand the grippy socks – I am barefoot for both pilates and barre. There’s usually an almost even split of us in the classes I attend FWIW.
+1
I am in this camp. I will occasionally take classes with friends (still hate it) and use normal socks or go barefoot.
Legally Brunette
They’re very expensive at the studios, so just buy them online. Any brand fine.
Anonymous
Another home design question.
I want to replace cabinet knobs in my house. We have a lot of cabinetry and it’s all the same, honey-colored wood with simple framed cabinet doors. The current cabinet knobs are shiny gunmetal gray (also apparently the cheapest possible option they could have chosen based on some research I did). They really don’t go with anything – they look strange to me with the cabinet color and style, and they don’t match any of the other metal finishes in the house. The house walls are painted a very light beige/linen color and most of our decor is similarly neutral; we do have some antique furniture (so darker wood) and most of our lamps and light fixtures are rubbed bronze. What should I go with in terms of cabinet knobs? Brushed nickel, rubbed bronze, something else? Are simple round knobs best considering how much cabinetry we have (I have 82 knobs to replace!) or could we go with something more interesting and not have it look overdone?
Anonymous
I dislike a round knob, despite ceding to their practicality. Have you thought about spraying the existing metal knobs a colour that’s similar to the cabinet color? In that case they would almost blend in.
The original Scarlett
Just a tip, before you buy 82 of them, test the ones you like first – I found it very hard to find pulls that worked with the original holes in my cabinets so swapping them out was harder than it appeared. You also want to get something that covers the same surface area as the paint under the pull is usually wonky once you take the old knob off.
Mac & Cheese?
So I’ve just been conscripted to make mac & cheese for a cookout tomorrow, and it is not in my repertoire at all. Best recipes? Any other suggestions?
Anon
The joy of cooking has a recipe for Mac and cheese for a crowd. I’d do that one. Mac and cheese for at home is different.
Anon
Here it is, with pictures. There’s also a link to the baked Mac and cheese, which is more the home version
http://thejoyofthejoyofcooking.blogspot.com/2009/03/stovetop-macaroni-and-cheese-p-325.html
Corporate Survey Help
Ladies, I received a very unusual survey from corporate. It is NOT anonymous. It seems very invasive and essentially wants me to show all my cards. Annoyingly, it asks about my prior positions with the company (something the company should know, you’d think) but also things like “Would you like to leave your current role for another? How soon? What role? Who will replace you?” This is weird, right? I’d expect to have this type of a conversation with my boss/mentor if I knew them really well and trusted them completely. I don’t trust corporate HR. How honest would you be?
Anonymous
Are you sure it’s legit and not a phishing attempt?
Corporate Survey Help
Yes, legit. Confirmed with HR over the phone (that was honestly my first reaction too, especially given they are using Google forms to collect responses).
Lana Del Raygun
I would delete it without responding.
Anon
They might just be doing succession planning. I would ask around as to whether everyone is doing the survey.
So Anon
The closing on my marital home was just pushed back from July 12 to “definitely before August.” The buyers changed from a conventional loan to a Rehab loan, which has involved contractors and bids and repair folks stomping through the house. The buyers have requested so many extensions (on the inspection while they were vacationing in Hawaii from New England) and concessions and have not been the most diligent or timely. This also has the effect of requiring another mortgage payment on the old place. This is the last thing tying me to my ex, and I just want it gone. I want the peace of mind in knowing that we are no longer financially tied together.
Anon
Did you have other offers? Are you in a competitive market? If the answer to both of those is yes, I would consider not agreeing to the extensions and having them break the contract, or at least picking a time at which you will do so. It sounds like these guys may just delay forever, and it may be faster starting with someone new
Anonymous
You own a weird hobby farm and got an offer close to asking quickly. I know it’s stressful but this is still going very well!!