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If one of your New Year resolutions is to meal prep or bring your own lunch more, I just wanted to give a shoutout to these tiny food storage containers from Sistema. Sistema, I've found, is almost ALWAYS the right answer if you're looking for something small — I especially like that (for the rectangular ones, at least), the lids fit a number of different size containers, and they REALLY do lock. (I think the ones with interchangeable lids are these smaller ones and these larger ones.)
Bringing liquids can always be a bit dodgy — no one wants to open lunch and find your salsa or salad dressing has exploded over absolutely everything. So when I wanted some small containers that had twist-lock tops, I was delighted to see Sistema has some.
In real life these are much smaller than they look on the pictures on the packaging, which is what I wanted — it would be a big struggle to get any significant quantity of grapes or orange slices in there.
These are around $6 at Amazon and Walmart; note that you can often find this brand at stores like HomeGoods or the like.
This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
Psst: hunting for stylish office lunch containers that are also eco-friendly? Some of our favorites (Sistema containers, Thermos food jars, and this classic bento) are pictured below — also check for cute lunch bags from Modern Picnic, Artelaris, Kate Spade, and Built NY! (If you're working from home, we love glass containers from Snapware and Anchor Hocking.)
Sales of note for 8.30.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – 30% off full-price purchase; $99 jackets, dresses & shoes; extra 50% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Bergdorf Goodman – Final Days Designer Sale, up to 75% off; extra 20% off sale
- Boden – 20% off
- Brooks Brothers – Extra 25% off clearance
- Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything; extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide; extra 60% off sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 20% off orders $125+; extra 60% off clearance; 60%-70% off 100s of styles
- Lo & Sons – Summer sale, up to 50% off (ends 9/2)
- Madewell – Extra 40% off sale; extra 50% off select denim; 25% off fall essentials
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Rothy's – End of season sale, up to 50% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear in the big sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 25% off regular-price purchase; 70% off clearance
- White House Black Market – Up to 70% off sale
HFB
Has anyone used Perl and stick wallpaper who can vouch for its ease of installation, removal, and whether it really doesn’t damage the walls? Right now I’m looking at spoon flower but would also appreciate recs for other brands. TIA!
pugsnbourbon
Check out BeingTheBlooms on Insta – she does a ton of renter-friendly product reviews.
Anon
It absolutely damages your walls. It’s the worst stuff in the world. Only use it for something you plan to fix after.
Anon
Coming back with more detail – the reason it ruins walls is they still need to be primed for wallpaper application. That means that you can’t layer it on top of old paint and expect no damage. None of the peel and stick papers emphasize this in their promo materials but it’s in the fine print and every YouTube video about putting it up. My advice is stay away – it’s terrible as a renter solution because you will damage your walls. And if you own, just go all the way and get real wallpaper.
HFB
Thank you for the info! I do own but I change my mind a lot and real wallpaper sounds like too much commitment ( and will still damage the walls, right?) also I don’t think my husband would agree to it because of the damage. ( don’t worry he’s not super controlling- our understanding is for projects that permanently or semi permanently alter the house we both have to be on board. I wouldn’t want him unilaterally choosing a new kitchen sink or anything either).
Bummer though, there are some really pretty designs out there. Maybe I can figure out how to adhere it to a board or something that can just be screwed into/out if the wall. Then we just have to spackle a few holes.
Anon
I saw that the American Academy of Pediatrics updated its guidance on childhood and teenage obesity treatment, to include medication and weight loss surgery. Given last week’s discussion on Wegovy and this latest endorsement, I hope that weight loss management (medication or surgery) will become more widely covered by insurance so that weight loss treatment can be accessible for more who need it.
Anonymous
Slightly related, but I’m glad to see the change in posture. I was reading an article on the new guidelines and saw a quote that pediatricians have now realized that “waiting doesn’t work”
Anon
With kids, I wonder how much is dependent on parents (their genes + their house + any psychological factors (food pushers, and the like) that really subject to being changed with a pill. The only kids I know where their habits changed were on ADHD drugs that dampened their appetites to the point of massive meal skipping, which isn’t a good habit, either. Like as an adult, you might have a chance (but by then you could have T2 diabetes, which is no joke), but kids are really at the mercy of others.
As an adult, I didn’t always know how horrify untreated diabetes (even T2 diabetes) can be. Multiple organ system failures, amputations, etc. It’s rough stuff and a very high % of the US population is probably in its zip code if not already there.
Anon
It’s so genetic. I had a thin parent and an overweight parent. I am chronically overweight, and have one sibling who is as well, while my other sibling is an “I eat everything” always thin person.
I married a man who has never had to worry about his weight. We have one thin and one heavy child. I see how my children eat and exercise. Exercise is similar between them. My heavy child eats healthier than my thin child.
The science backs this up as well.
Anon
It’s so genetic. I had a thin parent and an overweight parent. I am chronically overweight, and have one sibling who is as well, while my other sibling is an “I eat everything” always thin person.
I married a man who has never had to worry about his weight. We have one thin and one heavy child. I see how my children eat and exercise. Exercise is similar between them. My heavy child eats healthier than my thin child.
The science backs this up as well.
Anon
I so feel you on that doctor issue. I changed doctors because of it. When I interviewed my current doctor,w whom I adore, she asked, “what is it that you’re looking for in a medical provider?” and I answered “if I come in with an ear infection, I’d like to focus on the ear and not talk about my weight.” {real example from prior doc)
And she has been 100% perfect with me. She really takes the time to listen to me as well. Most recently, I saw her about recurrent UTIs, we came up with a plan to prevent them which is working, and she never once talked about my weight. Huge relief!
Anon
I have a family history of pre-diabetes. Currently my mom and her brother are pre-diabetic and my sister and I are not far off. Unfortunately for us, it’s genetic: my mom and uncle are in their 60s and 70s are workout several times a week and eat well. I’m in my late 20s and walk at least 10k steps a day, lift weights 2x a week and do cardio 2x a week, eat well and now work with a dietician to further improve my diet. OTOH, my mom’s sister is obese, can’t walk more than a few blocks, lives off of fast food and is the only one without prediabetes. It is immensely frustrating.
But yes – prediabetes and T2 diabetes aren’t viewed as the threat that they are! I have a good friend who is obese, as is his father. HIs father has lost several toes due to his T2D and yet it still hasn’t served as a wake up call to my friend or his wife (also obese; both are pre-diabetic now).
I know with body positivity there’s been a push to limit the rhetoric on the health impacts of obesity but being someone who is very aware of my prediabetes risk and (as well as being at risk for high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and related heart problems) it’s kind of terrifying to see how blasé many are about the risks associated with obesity.
Anon
Genes are so wild with T2 — my one in-law with it was tall, thin his whole life, and walked a mile each morning into his 90s. His wife cooked with lard and never exercised or even walked a step more than was needed (church, grocery store). He ate her cooking but loved restaurants and desserts. I’ve seen couples who always eat the same thing where one had high cholesterol and one had barely any.
With kids though, if you were my kid and I can eat what I want (or each what I want but shouldn’t — today’s lunch was ice cream), you may really do better as an adult in your own house than if you did what I did. It’s hard being a kid, b/c you are so reliant on others.
anon
Not to pile on, but mobility issues associated with obesity can get very scary when you’re in your later years. Yes, there are many obese yet fit people in their 30s, 40s and 50s. But then I see my MIL, who is a morbidly obese 74-year-old, and her size and mobility limit literally everything she can do and is a constant source of worry for my DH. She can’t walk across her own house without help. It’s a stark contrast from the other 70-somethings we know. She does not have T2 diabetes. My FIL, who was overweight but not obese, did have T2 and it shortened his life. We absolutely should not shame people for their weight, but I also don’t think ignoring it and pretending like obesity is without consequences is always okay, either.
Anon 2:58
Totally agree with your comments about mobility concerns and obesity! My mom is early 60s and my uncle is early 70s and they’re both so active. Aunt is mid 60s and makes her husband do their grocery shopping because walking around the store is getting to be too much for her!
In my circle, seniors like my mom and uncle are much more common and thus I’m always surprised when commenters here mention that their parents can’t do XYZ in their 70s. My other uncle only gave up water skiing last year at 72!
Anon
I work at one of the largest safety net hospitals in the country and at least 25% of our patient population has T2 diabetes. Interestingly if you are BIPOC, it is in the genetic makeup – White folks are less likely to have diabetes (not saying they don’t – obviously they do – but it disproportionately impacts other communities). Retinal failure, toes/feet amputated, dialysis….it all happens.
I always wonder out loud if T2 diabetes was treated like we treat and raise awareness about some cancers in this country (also terrible diseases) if that would have a similar impact on prevention and outcomes.
Anon 2:58
Oh that’s very interesting. My sample size is that everyone I know with T2D or pre-diabetes is Irish American (2nd or 3rd generation, most of us are mixed with other European ancestries, but a few are 100% Irish-American) and there are a few Irish-American families like mine and my friends’ where most people have it.
My uncle and I could stand to lose about 10lbs (not that BMI is a good indicator, but I’m at the upper end of normal BMI) and my mom is downright skinny. My mom walks every day and plays tennis or goes to yoga class 2-3x a week. My uncle also walks, bikes, and plays pickle ball or golf 4-5x a week. I share recipes with my parents and aunt and uncle so I know we mostly eat relatively similar foods: chia pudding or yogurt with nuts and berries for breakfast, lunch is usually a large salad with protein and veggie toppings, dinner is usually lean protein + whole grain side + 2 veggie sides. Most of us have cut out dessert, and try to snack on mostly fruit, veg, cheese, nuts though I know my mom has a huge soft spot for sourdough pretzels as a snack.
Anon
I worked on an Erin Brockovich-type case for a hot minute in law school – the company had dumped toxic waste into a poor, Black community for decades. Most of the obvious victims had already received a pay-out, so we were checking the community for anyone else who might qualify, and I had to call prospective claimants to conduct a health screening. The vast majority of people I spoke with had diabetes and there were so many stories of amputated toes and feet. My heart broke when they’d ask if the ailments they listed would qualify them, and I had to say no. T2D gets so little attention nationally compared to other diseases.
Anon
I feel like that’s great and all, but what’s not being said is that obesity is a poverty issue. I don’t think the majority of families struggling with childhood obesity are going to be getting meds and surgery…because if they had money for that, they would have money for fresh groceries and transportation and doctor’s visits and education – all those stressors that are linked to higher childhood obesity rates.
Anon
Maybe? But I know kids who are not poor and this is still a problem. We could all do with less screen time for a variety of non-weight issues, but IDK that it’s a 1:1 correlation with poverty. And so many people are pre-diabetic that the target groups stretches way past the very poor.
Anon
I agree. It’s certainly true that childhood obesity is higher for impoverished children but I know several wealthy and upper class families with obese children.
It’s not just one thing, it’s many at once.
Anonymous
I imagine the increase in obesity, very neatly tracks, the increase in anxiety and depression and kids and adults. I am fairly convinced that the underlying mental health issues drive much of the crisis. The environment makes it easier and the genes make it possible. But the obesity crisis is only 30 years old. That’s not long enough for genes to have changed.
Anon
Also a change in eating habits to favour high (simple) carbohydrate foods. They spike and crash blood sugar, and provide little in terms of satiety.
Curious
It is, however, long enough for epigenetics to change. Epigenetics have a strong effect on gene expression and are also hereditary (e.g., a child of a parent who experienced hunger is more likely to build fat reserves). We are still so early in understanding all of this!
Anon
+1
Trish
I travel to some poor and rural communities for work and I have been shocked at how morbidly obese people, including childen, are in those areas. I am guessing a combination of genetics, lack of access to good food, and culture. While we know there is a genetic component, genes don’t explain why there is an increase in childhood obesity. I am afraid there are also environmental factors as well including endrocrine disruptors.
Anon
I am leaving my BigLaw role for a government position, which comes with a very hefty pay cut…. Does anyone have a similar experience and tips for downsizing? My husband is not in a very well compensated field so this is an enormous change to our finances (but worth it for the kind of work I’ll be doing, the extra time this will afford me with our kids, and it should also have long term career benefits). We don’t have a terribly glitzy lifestyle and soon will have only one kid still in daycare (no nanny). We have identified our yard services and a lot of our convenience services (mainly, lots of takeout) as things to easily cut back on, and it also should not be too hard for us to downsize our respective spending habits (his are games; mine relate to clothes). I am hopeful we can still keep a maid service once a week or every other week. But I’d love advice on other common things to cut back on, things you recommend NOT cutting back on, and suggestions for kids activities and family trips that are fun and affordable (my kids are 3 and 5).
Anon
Congrats!
One of the easiest ways to have money is not to spend it (vs spending a ton of time looking around at ways to “save” money, especially by shopping sales or discount sites). I’d unsubscribe to all e-mails from clothes shops. You will need to buy clothes, especially for young kids. But plan your needs — target / ON / LandsEnd and just look there when you have a need. Usually, there is a sale, but if not, put things in your cart and just check back later to see if the price has dropped any (usually, if you give it 2 weeks, it will drop some at any place but Target). They re-assess your cart and delete Want items and just get the Need items.
Anon
+1 million to your first sentence. I wish I could get that through people’s heads. I am not “saving money” by buying stuff I don’t need on sale, at Goodwill, or by putting it up on Poshmark after I am done with it; I save money by never buying it in the first place.
Now if I need something, I buy it, but random spending is a great way to blow up a budget while convincing yourself that you’re being frugal.
Anon
This is so dependent on where you live and how much you’ll be making. It’s hard to be specific without real numbers. I’m an ex-lawyer who took a huge paycut when I left law and my husband is a teacher, so we’re nowhere near Big Law income level (our HHI is significantly less than a first year associate earns) but we have a lot of the smaller luxuries mentioned here like cleaning/yard services, frequent takeout, travel, kids’ activities/camps, etc. This is in large part because we live in a low cost of living area, and partly that we have very little interest in “stuff” – I can’t even remember the last time I bought clothes. I also think keeping big costs like your house and cars down is crucial, but that’s harder to change than cutting out daily coffee or something like that. Personally my cleaning service would be the last thing to go, and takeout wouldn’t be far behind. With what groceries cost these days, I feel like takeout (unless you’re splurging on things like sushi) isn’t necessarily a huge waste of money.
Anon
I downsized my job two years ago. #NORAGRETS
I think you can cut back maid service to every other week if you’re good about cleaning the kitchen after cooking and the occasional swiffer/cordless vac run. I also keep a cleaning rag in the bathroom cabinet to do the occasional surface wipe-down while I’m getting ready.
Once the weather is nice, parks are free, and my kids at that age loved nothing better than a visit to the “swings and slides” at a new-to-them public park. Once they’re slightly older, weekend playdates will be EVERYTHING, and all that requires is having another kid or two over to your house.
Give yourself each a budget for your interests – it doesn’t need to be zero, and that would fail anyway – and be accountable to it.
Don’t forget how much you’ll save on taxes. The cut in bottom line income may not be as great as you think.
Ex BigLaw
You might consider getting a HELOC (if you own your home) while you still qualify, so you have peace of mind knowing you have access to cash in a health or other emergency.
First thing to go: eating out/ordering in a lot.
Next thing: no one in your government office will dress the way it costs to dress in BigLaw.
Anon
Congrats on your decision for a great life change.
Teach your kids that vacations can be simple, and they will love them. Drives to go to the beach/camping/hiking/parks/other natural beauty. Our public library was our home away from home, and many communities sponsor parks/recreation systems/local pools and courts that are great simple ways to have fun without spending thousands for club sports. Bikes for all. Our public library also had free tickets to everything from the local zoo (we had memberships – very cost effective – although I have mixed feelings about zoos these days) to local museums (great for kids). Lots of art supplies. Lots of music around the house. Lots of dancing.
I’d keep the cleaning service if you can (maybe every other week, if finances get tight), but start teaching your kids young to be good family members… helpers, each doing their part and cleaning up their stuff and helping to stuff for the house. They will learn how to do everything from cook a basic meal to wash their own clothes to the value of $$ and that the best things in life really aren’t that expensive. Our picnics at the local park were often our most fun days – especially when they were little.
Definitely start getting organized about making food shopping lists, a simple cooking rotation of easy meals that reheat well/freeze, husband splitting meal prep, planning weekly meals together.. because take out gets really pricey. And daycare is $$$$$
anon
I have done a similar downsizing. It’s hard to say without knowing how you spend your money now.
– The first big thing I did was to find ways to save on existing expenses by investing time. I called an insurance broker and found less expensive homeowners’ insurance. I got some price quotes and changed our car insurance. I also went down to our county government office and filed for a homestead exemption we’d been eligible for for several years. You probably could save $1000+ just by getting around to random stuff you couldn’t deal with while in BigLaw.
– I saved money by first making myself use or throw away any partially used toiletries, makeup, etc. That lasted about a year (seriously), and now I have a strict one-in, one-out policy. I have to go through existing products and establish that I need something before I buy it. If clothes are a big spending area for you, you may want to implement something similar for clothes.
– I have a less expensive, lower maintenance beauty routine now. It’s been several years, but I let my hair go gray, only get manicures or pedicures for special occasions, and don’t wear makeup to work everyday. Money was not the only reason I did this, and it’s highly personal, but it is less expensive. If you’re doing certain things because it fits the Big Law image (and I get that), consider whether you can relax it a bit in your new role.
– For fun and affordable family activities for 3/5 year olds, take trips to local parks and playgrounds (you can try out different ones), check out activities at the public library, and discover nature walks, short hikes. Check out state parks within driving range. You can also get a membership to the zoo or something, but if you’re in an area with several different potential memberships, consider rotating each year. It’s easier to get more out of your zoo membership if it’s not competing with 2 others.
– The most affordable family trips are ones where we drive and stay in an inexpensive hotel or AirBNB or state park cabin or even with family (I get that family is not an option for everyone). I subscribe to a newsletter/blog for local moms, and they often have stories about potential trips. But I’ve also just made a mental note when a colleague mentions a trip with their kids, or even pulled up Google Maps and looked to see how far away different places are.
anon
If you can cut the house cleaning service to twice a month, that is still an expense that’s well worth it. As is reliable childcare, in the form of daycare and then a before/after care program during elementary school. There are lots of ways to have fun with kids that don’t cost a ton: parks, community events, some theaters have heavily discounted matinees for little kids. We do not travel at the level that most people on this board do. We have a blast at places that are within driving distance, fun regional attractions, state and national parks, etc. I don’t think our kids (older than yours) feel deprived just because we aren’t flying across the country several times a year. Also, if you want to save money, avoid the travel sports teams. ;) I am shocked by how much solidly middle-class families will spend to watch Junior in baseball tournaments every weekend of the summer, but don’t get me started on that rant.
You know your pain points best, but when I need to tighten my wallet, I have to work really hard to control impulse spending at the grocery store and Target. Little purchases add up fast.
Curious
Friggin Target. I mean, I love them, man, but I can’t go there unless I’m willing to spend at least $40 in impulse purchases.
Anon
“No one goes to target because they need something. You go to target and let target tell you what you need.”
Pick and choose
Do you know what you are currently spending money on? (When I was in a position where I didn’t need tobudget, I frankly didn’t have a great idea where my money was actually going.) Figure that out, and then the priorities will be easier to sort. If you really like the cleaning service and take out, maybe those are fine but it means you can’t also buy the clothes and games you used to buy. Maybe the kids’ karate lessons are really important, but it means not going skiing this year, or changing the summer vacation location/price point. I would buy all my clothes from Old Navy, never go to Starbucks, and bring in my own lunch every day before I gave up the lawn service. You might be the opposite.
Seafinch
We love these containers for kids’ lunches.
Anon Pls
Does any one have a recommendation for a large tote bag with pockets inside that opens up wide on top? I want to use a tote bag to put my 2.5 year old’s stuff in and maybe other diaper-bag related things. Looking for light weight material. Thanks in advance for any leads!
Anon
Some of the medium sized Scout bags maybe?
Lily
The Lands End totes open very wide, have zip-tops, and have fairly big pockets inside (but one main compartment). They come in all different sizes but make sure you get the long handles. We have one extra-large tote for each of our daughters (embroidered with their names and a cute animal or fruit) that we use for travel (if it’s just an overnight, sometimes we put both of their things into just one of the bags). The extra-large is big enough to fit roughly the following: crib sheet, blanket, changing pad, enough diapers/wipes for several days, toiletry bag, monitor, sound machine, enough clothes for a few days. And probably some small books and toys.
I also have one in size large that would would for an overnight.
For daycare I’d get the medium size – big enough to fit changes of clothes, crib sheet, and a lunch box or cooler bag.
Only possible downside is that they are made of canvas and are not super light like nylon would be, but not heavy either. They are also washable and easily foldable/packable.
They’re on big sale right now! Probably one of the best value items we have for kids. I also like to give them as baby gifts with the baby’s name or monogram because they are so darn useful and the kid can use the tote basically forever.
Anon
Not related to diaper bags, but for anyone who knits or crafts, the small Land’s End totes with the short handles are perfect project bags. Knitting brand sell project bags, but in my experience the Land’s End ones are better. And non-monogrammed, they’re like $15-$20.
Cb
I’d try baggu to see if anything suits
Anon Pls
Thanks for the recommendations! I will check them out.
anon1
Cross posted from the moms page. Any recs for resorts with kids specifically in Cabo? We were looking at Hyatt Ziva but I’m a little put off by how big it seems…but the kids would adore that play area. Also looking at Grand Velas which seems to be the best – budget variable and willing to pay if the Grand Velas is really much better. Anyone been to both (or either)? I know there have been a few threads on this front but none I’m seeing that were about that area. We aren’t tied to the idea of all inclusive but I do want a good kids club and a shallow water play area, so think we might end up at an all inclusive which is fine as long as the food isn’t terrible. For this particular trip my main goal is to relax somewhere warm where I can reserve a pool cabana while the kids are happily playing supervised somewhere else.
Anon
Over thanksgiving we stayed at Villa Valencia. It’s really pricey – we were staying with my well off in laws! – but it had a Kids Club with tons of activities for the littles, lots of little kid friendly pools, and there was no swimming allowed at the beach (strong currents and too tides) which was awesome cuz it meant our little kids always had the beach to or nearly to themselves to build sand castles and there were hotel personnel helping me enforce no kids in ocean rule. It is all inclusive though we chose not to do that cuz our little kids are super picky eaters and we wanted to save money by making some meals ourselves from the grocery store (our rooms had a small kitchen).
Also for Cabo, cannot recommend enough doing a turtle release or other activities with CaboTrek. It was a magical experience and the folks who worked there really seemed to be educated in and care about conservation.
Anon
Is the turtle release only certain times of year? I’ve been to Mexico at various times (December, March, July) and have always been told it was the wrong time of year for turtle releases, but I think I want to plan a trip around this.
Anonymous Canadian
This may be late but we have been to the Ziva a few times. I will say the main pool is not heated and is very cold. There is a Hyatt Ziva Los Cabo Ziva Fans FB page where you might get some more kid-specific info (our guys are grown up now). The food is generally quite good for an all-inclusive I would say. I don’t find the resort all the big, honestly – 3-5 minute walk from one end to the other. It’s also basically right across the street from a Le Comer, a Walmart type store which is a great alternative for pool floaties, snacks, sunscreen or anything else you might need at about a tenth of the price of the hotel gift shop. The people are very lovely. I found the resort clean and well-maintained.
Anonymous
Re pediatric obesity – how do you know when you are hungry and when you are full? My 11yo is trying to eat better and it is wildly apparent he can’t detect the difference. (He has problems with interroception generally.) how would you describe your hunger/full cues?
Lily
When I am hungry, my stomach literally feels empty and I can feel it contract/growl/rumble. I also sometimes feel slightly nauseous/headachy/light headed. When I am no longer hungry, those feelings cease. When I start to feel bloated/uncomfortably full, (especially if I feel like unbuttoning my pants, lol) I know I need to stop eating (doesn’t mean I always do). There are certain foods I will often finish off my plate even if I am uncomfortably full (pasta). But I was raised in a house where there was no particular virtue in cleaning your plate, so I often leave several bites uneaten. I think it’s best not to make your kids clean their plate. On the other hand, I do encourage my kids to try everything on their plate and finish their vegetables, especially since I only serve them small portions of vegetables to begin with (like 7 green beans or 2 tbsp of peas).
Anon
I think if you give it half an hour and are still hungry, you may be still hungry. Otherwise, delicious food is delicious and I’m always going to want more. For us, mom had us drink a glass of water along with dinner and slow down and talk. It avoids the rush / shoveling food in so that there is more savoring and your body had enough time to process and turn off the hunger signals.
Anon
If someone gave him something like an apple, would he rather eat it or wait for something better?
Anon
FWIW I think this is a bs test of hunger.
Anon
Why? It works really well for me. Often I’m definitely not hungry and the apple test works well for identifying when my mouth is just watering for more of a delicious food. I also like apples though so it’s not like an apple is a meh or a yuck food for me. If I’m hungry, I’m delighted to eat an apple
Anon
It works really well for me too.
anon
I am never delighted to eat an apple, unless it’s a honeycrisp picked at the peak of freshness. Apples are a very meh food for me. I suppose if I’m hungry enough to want a yogurt, I’m legitimately hungry.
Anon
Yeah I would never eat by this standard.
Anon
I mean I don’t think it has to be an apple. Just pick something moderately healthy that you like but not so much you’d binge on it.
Like if my test if I was hungry was whether I’d eat cake, I’d probably never stop eating because cake is delicious. If it were would I eat cabbage l, then I’d probably never eat because I think cabbage is gross. Personally I use tomatoes as my test food because I really like tomatoes so it’s not like a punishment to eat them but I also don’t like them so much that I’d mindlessly eat them all day
Anon
Because I have insulin resistance, an apple would spike my blood sugar, then my insulin, and then I’d be even hungrier because I’d need something to eat to raise my blood sugar back to normal again.
I used to sometimes eat when I was really thirsty, so now I drink water first and see if that’s all I really needed.
Anon
Not eating until your tummy growls is a good way to recognize hunger. If you think you’re hungry before then, try having a glass of water. (What we think is hunger is often thirst.)
As far as satiety, your brain won’t recognize your stomach’s full until about 20 minutes after you’ve eaten. So that means taking a moment to eat a reasonable amount and then pausing.
Anonymous
So my tummy makes all sorts of noises — late at night particularly it’s gurgling away, kind of embarassingly. I am not hungry then. Most of the time if I’m hungry enough to be lightheaded it STILL hasn’t growled. I did one weight loss thing that said if 0 is lightheaded and 10 is 120% full, you should consider yourself hungry at 2 (hungry enough to eat a large bowl of broccoli) and stop eating at 8 (not so stuffed you couldn’t do some light yoga immediately after).
Anonymous
I think it’s easiest to feel the difference and detect the full clues in a high protein, high fat meal with no starches. Maybe something like steak with broccoli and butter, or salmon with hollandaise and asparagus.
No, I’m not suggesting this a diet for a kid, just a type of meal that is more likely to have a satiation level that might help with detecting being full, to have some clues for other meals. (The reason being that starches ping the pleasure button and the brain can say more-more-I-love-pizza-more for a long time after you’re full.)
Anonymous
UGH! This thread is literally a compilation of all the “almond mom” Tik Toks. I cannot with this.
Anon
No, it isn’t. Learning to assess your body’s need for food has nothing to do with “almond mom” diet culture.
Anon
What is almond mom?
Anon
It’s a euphemism for moms who push diet culture on their kids, specifically daughters. The term originated because Yolanda Foster from Real Housewives (Gigi and Bella Hadid’s mom) told Gigi that she should eat a couple almonds “and chew them really well” when she said she was hungry.
https://www.parents.com/what-is-an-almond-mom-and-how-to-not-be-one-6822156
Anonymous
When your tummy growls/grumbles it is asking for food. Sometimes our minds want food too which is why you want cookies even when you just ate dinner and your tummy is not grumbling. We can still eat cookies because they are delicious but we should be aware if it is our tummy or brain asking.
Also, drink a one glass of water with each meal so your body is hydrated. Sometimes kids struggle to distinguish between hunger and thirst.
MagicUnicorn
My problem is distinguishing between hunger and boredom (and being honest with myself about the difference).
Something that works for me is to change activities when I feel like I am getting the munchies but am not convinced I am actually hungry. So if I find my mind wandering towards the fridge while I’m reading a book, that is my sign it’s time to go run a load of laundry or work on a hobby for a little while. Often that change is enough to make me forget about food until I really am hungry.
Another thing I realize I need in order to feel satiated is a lack of highly processed, sugary foods and plenty of protein. Sugary stuff makes me want to keep eating beyond being full, while calories that lack protein leave me hungry again too soon.
Tip for piercing
I’m getting my ears pierced at a piercing studio in the Bay Area by the piercer who owns the small studio. What’s the norm for tipping one’s piercer? If it’s a %, do you also tip on jewelry cost?
eertmeert
Personally, i tip on service but not on jewelry or goods.
Anon
agree. I also got a recent piercing (second earlobe piercing) and tipped generously on the service, but not on the earrings I bought – which, I will warn you, are ridiculously expensive for what you get compared to what you could buy online, but most studios will only use their own jewelry.
Anonymous
How much time do you get alone in your home? DH had to temporarily move away for a contract (for about a year), but now the contract is up and he’s home. He hasn’t started up another contract yet, no word on when he’ll be working again. He’ll go days and days without leaving the house. I’m realizing that I got used to the alone time and I’m starting to feel a bit suffocated. I didn’t feel like this before, but I’m struggling to figure out whether it’s because I’ve changed and I’ll just have to readjust, or if it’s because he’s around a lot more than our old normal.
anon
About 45 minutes in the morning while DH does school drop-off. On Saturday night, DH said he was taking our son with him to Costco on Sunday. By 1 pm yesterday, I was SO ready for them to leave. DH asked, “What is it you’re going to do when we leave?” It’s not that I want to do anything different, I just want to do it alone, with the house quieter, and knowing I won’t be interrupted to find a shoe.
Anon
Actually alone in the house? Almost never. DH and I both work from home and when one of us is out at a social event or exercising, the other is usually home with the kids. But I’m alone in my bedroom or home office a lot.
Anon
FWIW, this is common in military families when the servicemember returns from a deployment. The military answer and the answer here is, “use your words.” “Hey babe, I got used to a lot of alone time while you were gone. As we settle back in to our normal, would you mind giving me [something concrete – like Sunday mornings or three times a week that steps down to two then one, etc] alone? I’m so glad you’re home, I just got used to alone time.”
If you need more help, google “spouse reintegration” or “military family reintegration.”
Senior Attorney
I totally get that feeling. I spent YEARS longing for time alone in the house! I think your feelings are entirely reasonable and it’s perfectly fine to ask for some alone time in the house.
Anon
I know this is a first world solution, but it bothered me a lot more in a 1200 sq ft house than our current 2800 sq ft house. I now have an office with a door, and I’ve told my husband more than once that the door is a wall, meaning don’t knock, don’t yell at me through the door, don’t just open the door unless the house is on fire or someone is bleeding.
I have the same rule for the bathroom door!
I spend time alone in my office even when I’m not technically working, like typing this right now.
Anon
Duh, OP – buy a bigger house! Why didn’t *you* think of that?!?!
Anon
Seriously
Anon
Since 2020, not much. We’re both here together most of the time or we go places together. Husband sometimes goes for walks or for appointments without me, but a few hours per week at most. It would definitely be nicer if our place was designed for a little more privacy and sound containment instead of being so open.
anon
When DH’s university isn’t in session, I get zero time alone in the house. I WFH and yes, we don’t leave the house for days at a time. Leaving the house for anything other than a walk around the neighborhood costs money and at some point we realized we were spending money just to have somewhere to go. It’s very suffocating at times, but I haven’t figured out a solution yet.
MagicUnicorn
Not nearly enough! If I’m lucky, maybe a random 15 minutes one weekend a quarter when all the others are out of the house at the same time? I would absolutely love having a set period of time in my house all alone each week. It would be almost like a vacation. We were all WFH & doing online school during the first two years of pandemic and I actually locked myself in the bathroom for extended periods several days a week in order to get alone time.
The closest I get with any predictability now is early weekend mornings. My family is all night owls so I usually get about 2 hours to spend uninterrupted early on Saturdays and it is glorious.
Anon
To the poster this morning who was bothered by her husband leering and groping at her and making s3xual innuendos in normal conversation.
I had something of a similar issue with my husband at the beginning of the pandemic. We were both together 24/7 suddenly, and he seemed to be like “omg, T&A at work all day!” We had a very serious come to j-sus about it, and I told him I felt reduced to a piece of meat. I want my husband to be attracted to me, but to my whole person and not just my body parts. I don’t need to run into the kitchen for a tea refill in the middle of my stressful workday and have my t1ts grabbed. It’s just not OK with me.
My husband has a high drive, my drive is relatively high (compared to my girlfriends I’m comfortable discussing this with) but not as high as his.
We’re in a good place now. We both still WFH but got used to boundaries during the workday (another issue not s3xual at all was that my husband felt like he could barge into my desk/office area and chat with me whenever he was bored, without asking whether I had time or not) and our bedroom life is back on track. What has helped enormously was making dates for “gardening” so he knows when it’s going to happen, and he less feels like he needs to move things along by trying to be frisky when I’m trying to work.
I still have an issue with some of the innuendo. I can say “remember when we were on vacation and how beautiful that beach was?” and he will say “Yeah, and we went into the bathroom when the kids were napping…” but honestly, that’s just how he’s wired.
I don’t think you can stop your husband from having what you describe as lecherous thoughts, but you can draw boundaries, absolutely. The best time to do this, of course, is not in the moment when you’re angry but later, when you’re both calm, and you can both dedicate the time and attention to talking it through. This assumes your marriage is otherwise worth saving.
Best of luck.
Anonymous
Is anyone else noticing that everyone seems to be having a DAY today? I drove past 2 very serious accidents on my (short! no freeway!) commute this morning. Everyone I talk to seems to be flighty and distracted. I’m having trouble concentrating. Is there something in the water??
Anon
I think it’s because it’s the first full week after the holidays. does seem like everyone at my co came back trying to catch up from several slower holiday weeks.
Anon
YES. This is the Mondayest of Mondays in a long time…..
dear reader
Today is forking horrible.
-everyone is sick. DH, SIL, nephew, FIL – all with seemingly different things. dh went to a walk-in clinic first thing this morning for strep throat, and we leave on Thursday for a trip we’ve been planning for 6 months with non-refundable excursions. Which I’m wondering wtf I’m even doing about because of the following:
-my grandma is in the hospital with reoccurring afib that they can’t really seem to get a handle on; she had a pacemaker put in a week ago and went back in the hospital on friday. Resting is hard because:
-we found out my grandpa (same side/couple) as advanced mesothelioma two weeks ago and have been fighting with the doctors offices to get oxygen at home for a since Tuesday so he can breathe better, at the very least. I have two cousins in nursing and they’ve been navigating the whole process, but it got to the point today where one nurse cousin sent my sister to the doctors office to wait in their office until they correctly faxed over the oxygen order to the oxygen company. She had to wait an hour, the nurse was annoyed at her, but it finally happened and hopefully he will get oxygen today.
My grandparents are old, but live (lived?) on their own and were very active until about 1.5 months ago. Like my grandpa was golfing through this whole last season several days a week. To say the family is reeling is an understatement.
Yeah I’ve gotten like no work done today.
New job regret
Last week, I sought advice about having a very new job but there was a possibility that I was going to be asked to come back to my old job. Well, now I’ve officially been asked to come back to the old job. I only left the old job because it was the end of an administration for a government official and now the new official has asked me to come back. I’m not loving the new job, but it’s complicated because my new boss is someone I used to work with – he’s a great guy, and someone I respect and like a lot. I do not want to burn bridges but working with him is basically the only thing I like about the new job. How do I even start a conversation with the new boss about this? I also just feel deeply embarrassed by the whole situation and will feel quite foolish if I leave after starting a new job two months ago. Any additional advice or thoughts on how to have this conversation would be greatly appreciated. Thank you.
Senior Attorney
I have been in a similar situation — leaving a job with a boss I adored after a short time, in order to take a job in the same organization that was a step up. I think the best thing to do is just be honest: “Boss, I am mortified to have this conversation with you, but my old job has opened back up and after a lot of soul-searching I’ve decided to go back. I know this puts you in a bind, and I want you to know I’m so, so sorry because I have loved working with you. I really value our relationship and I am hoping and praying this won’t burn the bridge between us.”
My guy was super understanding and I bet your guy will be, too.
anon
This is the way.
Anonymous
Thank you so much for your advice. I really do think he’ll be understanding too but it still feels awful. I guess we’ll see how tomorrow goes….
Senior Attorney
Good luck! Please come back and let us know how it goes!
Anonymous
Hey my scent-sensitive friends. What are some of your out-of-the ordinary product aversions?
I’ll go first. I cannot stand Cascade dishwasher detergent and pods. It leaves a lingering scent on everything that’s not glass or ceramic (i.e. plastic and even metal items). And food stored in those containers absorbs this scent and I CAN TASTE this Cascade”flavor” in the food afterwards. It coats my tongue and that is all I can taste for the rest of the day. Absolutely miserable.
I’ve thrown away delicious food gifts because they touched items washed with Cascade and the Cascade flavor overpowered the food for me–baked goods from my in-laws (cookies were baked on their metal cookie sheets that likely had some stains); leftovers from friends that were stored in plastic takeout containers from restaurants.
Washed my Hydroflask tumbler (stainless bottom only, not the plastic lid) in the dishwasher at work. And I can taste the Cascade scent/flavor in my tea today…even after repeated hand washing and rinsing. YUCK.
My husband’s nose is not as sensitive and he does not notice this Cascade “flavor”. And I don’t have this issue with other brands of dishwasher detergent.
Cb
Oh no! I knew I was pregnant when I sat through a film obsessing over the hand soap in the bathroom. Then I asked my husband at 9pm if he had had fries for lunch. I finally got covid in December and it’s slightly tempered my super sniffer.
I can’t handle any sort of scented detergent or fabric softener.
Anon
I can’t stand the smell of the hand soap they use at hospitals and many doctor’s offices. It makes me gag.
Anon
I am scent sensitive and I’ve posted about it recently. I don’t have many scent aversions like you describe, but bananas, especially very ripe bananas, gag me. That was a pregnancy aversion that has persisted for 20 years.
My bigger issue is scents that trigger a headache for me. Mostly it’s scents labeled “Fresh” or “Clean Laundry.” Dryer sheets, Febreze, and Glade air fresheners are the worst. I can’t really spend any time in the laundry detergent aisle in a mainstream grocery store or I will get a headache. Same for Bath & Body Works. I’m OK at Whole Foods though.
I was once gifted a very nice Diptyque Baies candle and it gave me a full blown migraine/visual aura/light sensitivty/nausea. I wasn’t convinced, so my dumb ass tried it again before throwing it out, with the same result. I have no issue with other scented candles and really enjoy pine, smoke, and citrus scented candles without headaches.
I wish I knew the exact ingredient, but several fragrance sites have suggested that ambroxan is a notoriously headache-inducing aromachemical.
Anon
I don’t consider myself particularly scent sensitive, but I am totally with you on the dishwasher detergent leaving a taste-able scent on glasses and dishes that contaminates the food and drink it contacts. I will make a special trip to Whole Foods to buy the store brand because it doesn’t do that (and also doesn’t leave spots).
Jules
Same. Try the Trader Joe’s brand, it does not have that strong chlorine and chemical smell as other diswasher detergents.
Anonymous
Thanks for the tip!
pugsnbourbon
For me it’s any orange-scented liquid dish soap – gives me the ick, as the kids say.
Anonymous
+2 omg me too! FWIW, I find the scent/flavor contamination is more noticeable when the food or drink is warm–like the high temp reactivates the latent chemical on the container or something.
But seriously, it cannot be healthy to be ingesting these scented chemicals that is able to cling to dishes after a full dishwasher cycle.
Anonymous
I’m sure us ingesting whatever chemical that causes that taste-able scent cannot be good for our bodies.
Hater
I hate most air fresheners. I stayed at a relative who has those plug in things and it gave me a migraine and I sneezed a lot. I took it out of the room I was sleeping in at least. Fuming (ha) over this while at this fake smelling house I went down an internet rabbit hole of how those plug ins are basically air pollution. People who live with them go nose blind I swear.
Curious
I’m not particularly scent-sensitive, but I recently happened to re-read a journal entry from early pregnancy, and apparently I could smell my snot when I blew my nose.
What in the actual f***? Also — yuck.
Anon
I hate dryer sheets. Specifically, I hate walking through the neighborhood when people are doing laundry and the smell is so overwhelming I want to gag. I avoid pretty much all scents myself, but still can’t avoid them.
PolyD
Same. Also “scent enhancers” or whatever those smelly little nuggets are that people throw into laundry.
My boyfriend used them on our sheets once and they made my eyelids swell.
Minnie Beebe
Cascade is THE WORST. I bought some pods recently because the store was out of my normal type (Finish) and the Cascade tabs are put away for emergency use only. I recently (again) couldn’t find the Finish tabs I like (foil-wrapped in the box, not the kind with the “dissolving” plastic around them) and so I bought a box of Seventh Generation powder. Which is unscented. I prefer the tabs, but much prefer the powder to the stinky Cascade tabs– I agree with you OP that they leave a residue on dishes that I can taste.
I used to like the scent of Tide detergent, but a year or two ago the scent changed to something *REALLY* strong. So had to give away a nearly-new bottle because it was making me feel congested. I use only mild powders now– Charlie’s or Meliora.
For Christmas a friend bought me a very fancy candle– it’s tucked away in a cabinet because even in the box, it’s too strongly-scented for me.
I don’t know if I’ve grown more sensitive over time, or if scents have gotten stronger. But it’s bothersome!
OP Here
Thank you for validating my weird aversion! And 100% agree that the Finish tabs are far superior to Cascade! Sadly, our Costco swapped out the Finish tabs to Finish pods (with liquid inside)…yuck.
Anon
This is how I respond to the Palmolive dishwashing soap that my parents use. It’s awful.I’ve convinced them to buy Dawn next time around. So now they just have to work through the Costco-sized bottle of Palmolive.
My teenage step-daughter uses body spray that smells like a Bath and Body Works type of product. It makes me want to gag when she puts it on and then gets in the car when we pick her up. I can deal with it in the house, but I hate it in the car where the scent is trapped. I make every effort to not criticize any choices like this that she makes so I say nothing. But I cannot wait until she moves beyond this phase.
Anon
Buy her something like Glossier You as a gift. Maybe she’ll actually wear it!
MagicUnicorn
Static Guard. I can taste the butane propellant and it makes me dizzy and lightheaded.
Cheap brass zippers against my skin. I can taste the copper in the brass. I feel nauseous and have resorted to running to the bathroom with the scotch tape to run a strip of it up the inside of a dress zipper once when I thought I was going to puke before the end of the day.
Anonymous
Whoa! Tasting copper (I assume in your mouth) from brass against the skin (somewhere else) is wild. Our bodies and all its systems are seriously amazing.
Anon
Batiste… barffff!
Cb
Ever sense I came back to work after the holiday, I get an eye twitch mid afternoon. I take screen breaks, wear blue light glasses, etc, but something about the computer screen is really bothering my eyes. It went away when I left to do the school run, but I sat down to reply to one thing and it immediately came back. Tips or tricks?
Cat
this happened to me mid-fall and lasted 3 weeks. As soon as I switched contacts to a new pair (from the same box!) it disappeared immediately…
Cb
Since, obviously. Blaming the twitchy eye.
Anon
Is your office running a heater and drying out your eyes?! That could do it!
Anonymous
It just takes time and rest
Anon
Is there makeup getting in your eyes? I stopped wearing mascara because it was making my eyes twitch.
anon
Could be stress? When I start having eye twitches, I know that I need to dial down the stress a few notches.
Anonymous
Same here! A twitchy eye is always a sign of stress for me. I’ve had tonic water (something about the quinine?) and bananas (magnesium, potassium) recommended as “cures” that have helped somewhat.
Anon
Get some preservative free lubricating eye drops. (NOT visine anti redness drops, those things are terrible)
It fixed the problem for me.
Anon
This always happens to me when I’m tired.
Anon
Sounds like dry eyes, try systane drops
Anon
Low stakes question – any banana waffle/pancake recipes you would recommend? Have lots of overripe bananas
nuqotw
I use our regular pancake recipe and replace milk with an equal volume of mashed banana.
Anon
Possibly not helpful, but this itty bitty diner in New Hampshire does banana bread French toast that is one of the greatest thing that will ever cross your lips. It and this fried green tomato sandwich from a roadside stand in Vicksburg, MS would be on my Last Meal list.
Anon
The Tomato Place!?
Anon
YES!
Anon
Where is the place in New Hampshire?
Anon
Lots of recipes on the internet – mix it up and then throw it all in the garbage! (j/k, banana aversion person from above)
Notinstafamous
Not a waffle but I LOVE the smitten kitchen double chocolate banana loaf recipe. Use it to make muffins. So good. They freeze well too.
Anon
Whatever recipe you try, add a little vanilla extract, cardamom (grinding some fresh seeds is the best but any…) and/or cinammon. Whatever ratios/amounts you like, start small….
You’ll never have plain pancakes again.
MagicUnicorn
Any recipe you already use and like, just replace the oil with an equal amount of mashed banana and cut the sugar in half.
anon
WWYD: I’m in the second year of a four-year project that I hate. It has become about one-quarter of my total workload. The actual work isn’t so bad, but it’s a brand-new initiative and we’re basically building the plane while flying it. That working style doesn’t suit me at all, plus I’m very meh on the topic area. I really just want to execute my portion of it while not being so involved in the ideation. I am one of four team members working on it. My boss has said that she knows it’s a big time commitment but I have to be involved on some level. Ugh. I find myself borderline resentful that this project takes time away from things that are both more enjoyable and that I’m better at. I don’t think I will get very far if I ask to be taken off the project … so what can I do to make it more bearable? There’s no personal glory at the end of this.
Anonymous
Start looking for a new job. Spending 25% of your time for four straight years on a project you resent and that will not result in glory or a promotion is a recipe for misery. It’s not even clear what the upside would be at the end.