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China Advice
Sisters,
My fiance and I are going to China for the first time in July. I need advice about: (1) what to wear, and (2) what to buy. (We are going on a nice guided tour, so cultural events, historical sights and hotels are taken care of already.) We will visit: Beijing, Xian, Hangzhou, Suzhou and Shanghai.
1. What To Wear
My hot weather international traveling “uniform” is capris or a knee-length skirt and tops that are modest and cover my shoulders and a sweater in my bag. I find this is comfortable enough to traipse around in all day and modest enough to get into churches/temples/government buildings/nice shops and restaurants. In Muslim countries, or if it is too hot to wear sleeves, I bring a shawl to cover my head/shoulders when going into churches/mosques. I carry a daypack (Coach leather backpack) just large enough for wallet, toiletries/first aid, camera, guidebook, water and snacks. For shoes, I wear either walking sandals (if the ground is stable and clean) or running shoes (if the footing is unstable or the ground is not sanitary (read: third world countries with sanitation/health issues)).
Will this “uniform” work in China?
Based on what I’ve read, I wonder whether I will prefer skirts to capris (easier to lift and keep clean when using squat toilets) and sneakers to sandals (ditto on the squat toilets and also other sanitation worries). Any insight into this?
Other things I should consider?
2. What to Buy
I love shopping when traveling abroad because everything seems so exotic. I will be looking for:
a. Gifts for family and friends for holidays and birthdays for the next year
b. Token gifts for co-workers
c. Hostess gifts to have on hand for the next year
d. Clothing
e. Jewelry
f. Housewares (porcelain, linens, furniture, art).
What should I look for? What should I avoid? What should I know about the purchasing process, use of currency, cards, cash etc?
Any other advice is welcome.
Many thanks in advance!
Anonymous
Hi — I took a similar trip. The sidewalks are uneven and dirty so comfy shoes are a must.
As for shopping, think Chinatown or counterfeit everything! The Silk Market was great fun for these.
There’s a departure tax at the airport so save some local currency for it.
The Great Wall is a tough hike and there are people trying to sell you stuff as you go but it’s worth it.
Locals will want to photograph you constantly. And you might want to make sure your Hep A and B shots are current just in case.
Have fun!
AN
Your outfit sounds fine. Haggle if you buy stuff. Visit hong qiao pearl market in beijing…google it. You can get yummy freshwater pearls there for half the price outside china. Start haggling at 50% below their offer.
Joy
I forgot about the pearls. this is so so true! my favorite thing that I brought home is a beautiful irregular brown pearl neckalace. it’s such a wardrobe staple I don’t even think of it as a souvenir anymore!
Joy
Also- silk pjs and robes! These can be outrageously expensive or very very reasonable depending on where you’re shopping so hold out for good prices. I brought home a bunch for friends I knew would be needed bachelorette presents.
Sorry for the million comments! This is making me remember how much fun that trip was!!
NYC
Ditto. I would go to the pearl market (top floor) and buy a suitcase full of them. Amazing deals. Bargain hard. It helps to have a good cop/bad cop routine with your traveling partner.
Joy
You will have SO much fun. China is beautiful. I spent two summers there and it is hot and dusty- I wore a lot of sundresses and sandals. My advice would be to have at least two pairs of sandals/shoes that hit different parts of your feet so you can alternate. Your feet will be dirty/sweaty and there is NOTHING worse than having a blister or a little hot spot on your foot and having to continue wearing the same pair of shoes. I’d also bring ones that you aren’t necessarily in love with. Most likely you’ll want to throw them away after your trip. I kept pashminas handy as well- the nicer hotels are usually freezing because of the AC, so it’s nice to have something that will help you go between the unbearably hot outdoors and certain places indoors.
I don’t have too many shopping recommendations, I didn’t have tons of times to shop, and really the only things I brought home were some fake bags/shoes (I know that’s bad- I didn’t know everything that I now know about fake stuff at the time). But I will say that no matter what you’re getting at any of the bazaars or stalls you should be prepared to bargain. I was told that the absolute maximum you should pay for anything is 1/2 of the asking price (especially if you look foreign/like a tourist) which means your starting point for a negotiation could be at around 1/3 of the asking price. Because of this, it’s handy to have small bills- I felt bad negotiating and then needing change. Also, don’t be afraid to “walk away” if your price isn’t being met. They will most likely watch you take 5 steps and then call you back matching your price. And if they don’t- you’ll probably see the same stuff elsewhere.
The only other thing I would warn you about in your shopping adventures is that people can be VERY hands-on. I had people pulling on my arm trying to lead me to their store and would have to very firmly and loudly say no while pulling my arm away. The physical boundaries that you’re used to may not be respected, so try not to get flustered. Salespeople can be very insistent and in order to get away you will have to be clear to the point of rudeness.
Have fun!
Katarina
The travelling outfit should be fine; I would do the skirt/shoe switch though. Make sure you carry tissues around with you for the bathrooms; a lot don’t have tissue with them. And make sure to have small bills since some of them also charge a small fee for use.
The haggling is fun, but I’ve been yelled at for looking at clothing OUTSIDE of stores and not buying. Once my sister was looking at something inside a store and decided she didn’t want it; the salesgirl started PULLING on her arms and wouldn’t allow her to leave the store; we literally had to help pull my sister away and left quickly. The people are very forceful salespeople due to absolute desperation :/
Katarina
Oh, also, if you speak Chinese, China’s an EXCELLENT place to get clothing handmade or tailored.
j
Will you be stopping in Hong Kong? There’s a to-die-for fabric market there, called Sham Shui Po. I’ve never been, but my dad (who’s worked in apparel my whole life and knows the tricks) goes often and always brings me back yards and yards of beautiful stuff that I’d pay a fortune for in the states. High quality leathers, silks, laces, etc. at extremely low prices. I’d love to visit there and then make a beeline for a tailor.
MelD
I would not even bring sandals to China. I actually ended up getting a toe infection there after making that mistake. The roads are very dirty and the water is not potable, so it’s a bad place to get any sort of foot injury like I did. If you want something for going out in the evenings, bring a nice pair of closed-toe flats.
There are plenty of fun markets that sell all sorts of things from chess sets to clothing, bags, jewelry, you name it. Usually the salesperson will use a calculator to give you the first price and you can try to haggle from there. Typically you’ll be buying everything with cash.
The Great Wall has several options that vary in intensity. The part I did was not particularly challenging and had a lift up to it. We did not know about the lift and unfortunately did not bring enough cash to be able to take the lift both ways. This is something you want to check ahead of time so you don’t end up with limited time because you have to climb down!
Lisa
I spent one year traveling to Shanghai on business repeatedly. I have to say, in that context, China is neither particularly beautiful nor very much fun. Please watch the water, carefully, and be prepared for very bad air. In terms of shopping, yes, I would focus on silk or cashmere, but carefully. I did find some nice qi pao on Nanjing Lu in Shanghai.
I do not mean to inject any worry into your trip planning. I imagine for tourists China is much different. The only thing I would say is that if you have any respiratory issues, be prepared with your medications. You might even want to bring surgical masks for the really bad days. That’s what the locals do.
Kady
Yeah, the squat toilet. Very difficult to use if you are wearing pants. This is TMI, but I usually take everything off and hang it on the back of the stall b/c I’ve never mastered the art of the squat toilet. ALWAYS BRING YOUR OWN TP! I can’t tell you the # of times I couldn’t find TP.
As for shopping, if you meet someone who is very knowledgeable about jade, China is a wonderful place to buy jade jewelry. But it is hard for the layperson to know the difference btw good/not good/counterfeit jade. One of my favorite purchases from my time in China was a beautiful purple jade bracelet that I wore all the time (never removed) until a couple of years ago when I banged it and it cracked (so sad).
Legally Brunette
Never been to China, but am very familiar with the squat toilet given numerous trips to India. It’s actually not that bad, IMO. Definitely always carry toilet paper with you and use a bucket to make sure that waste goes down the toilet (assuming there is no flush, which I assume there won’t be). I frequently wore pants and was fine, but I could see how wearing a skirt might be easier.
AN
Bring baby wipes to deal both with dust and toilet stuff.
Oh and you’ll be saying ‘no thank you’ a lot to street hawkers etc trying to sell tacky stuff. Here’s the Chinese for it. They’ll take you at your word then:)
Pu Yao xie xie = no thanks
Xie xie = thanks
Google the pronunciation! You may also wish to look up ‘ I don’t understand’ which I think is ‘ wo pu Ming bai’
Kanye East
Yep. And “ming bai” is “I understand.” No need to be polite when people are in your face, just say “bu yao” and do the “Do not want!” hand gesture.
Sneezy
Some temples will not allow you to wear any type of shoes that show your toes so make sure to have a pair on deck just in case. Even if you are dressed nice, no frip frops!
Always wear something with pockets so you can carry toilet paper and sanitizer to the bathroom.
Watch for factory detours! Never buy here, the prices are marked up. Also, there are levels of pricing, always ask for “Chinese price.”
lawtalkinggirl
Your outfits will be fine. I agree with others who said stay away from sandals outside. The water is not clean and you don’t want a toe infection. Drink only bottled or boiled water. Bottled water is everywhere. Chinese people do not drink the tap water either. Bring baby wipes and your own tissues but you can also buy them there cheap. Usually you have to pay for the public toilet, about 5 jiao or so. Sometimes that fee comes with toilet paper, sometimes you can buy it extra. There will be a little old lady guarding the door who will demand your money. ATMs are everywhere. I used one in Lhasa 4 years ago. In the olden days you used to have to exchange your US Dollars for Foreign Exchange Certificates at special exchange stores, then you could only spend your FECs at the special stores. You had to get your Ren Min Bi on the black market. BTW, in colloquial Chinese the RMB is called “kuai” (4th tone). One tenth of a kuai is a “jiao” (3rd tone). So 3 kuai 4 jiao is RMB 3.40. Bring a photo or two of your family. It is a great way to strike up conversation with Chinese people, especially if there are kids in the photo. Don’t be offended if people ask you how much money you make, when you and your fiance are having kids, or tell you you look fat. Those are all perfectly normal subjects of conversation (and you can ask too!). For shopping, be prepared to haggle long and hard, and to walk away if necessary. Every shopkeeper has a calculator you can use to show the price you want to pay. You will always pay more than a local, but that is just how it works. If you want to learn a few phrases of Chinese, the most important thing is to get the tones correct. If you use the wrong tone people will not understand you because you will be saying a different word. Be prepared to be surrounded by more people than you have ever seen before in your life. That is what is always hardest for me to get used to – the sheer teeming humanity of a scale that simply does not exist on this side of the world.
Anonymous
Did you really just make a joke about how Asians make R sounds for English L sounds? Haha, you’re so funny! Jerk.
Nonny
Your travelling outfit sounds fine, but I have to say I am surprised you carry a backpack with wallet etc. in it. As a seasoned traveller myself, I would suggest that you carry a nondescript purse with a zipper that you can hold onto under your arm or in front of you. I’m not sure where you’ve travelled before, but the crowds can get very dense in Asia and you do not want someone slipping a hand into your backpack, which could easily happen. Find a strong, cheap travel purse with lots of pockets instead. Travelling isn’t a fashion show.
another anon
I agree with Nonny. In addition, I would also recommend one of those travel belts that you wear under your clothing for carrying your passport, at least one of your credit cards, and a portion of your cash. That way, if someone snatches your bag, you still have the most important thing (your passport), some cash, and a means of getting more cash. The belts are surprisingly comfy and not really noticeable under your clothing. Your fiance should probably have one too, and you should split your cash/credit cards up amongst you (i.e., you shouldn’t have one person carrying all of your cash).
lawtalkinggirl
Ditto. I always use a travel belt and put my passport and money in there. I put money for the day in my wallet in a bag I deep tucked under my arm. Funny enough, out of maybe 2 dozen trips to various Asian and European countries the only time I’ve been pickpocketed was in a club in London. But I had my passport and money in my belt so all the thief got was about 20 pounds and my US drivers license.
PollyD
I don’t understand why people carry their passports with them. I guess I’ve stayed in good enough hotels throughout Europe or the hotels had in-room safes that I felt it was much safer to leave the passport at the hotel than carry it with me. I think I even left my passport in the hotel rooms when I went to Morocco. Is there a chance someone will demand “papers, please” when you are out and about?
Not really being snarky – no one in my family ever carried passports around when traveling so I’m just curious why other people do.
lawtalkinggirl
To PollyD – because I don’t ever want to leave my passport in a hotel or hostel. The hassle and expense of getting a new one vastly outweighs the minor inconvenience of carrying it with me. I also always carry my old, expired passport in a different place, like in my backpack. That at least would probably get me back into the US if I lost the current passport. I also keep photocopies of both current and expired passports in yet another place in my luggage. Overkill? Maybe so!
Oneanon
In response to PollyD’s question about passports, yes, I’ve traveled in several countries where I’ve been randomly stopped on the street or in the subway and asked to show my papers. I always carry my passport, just in case.
another anon
PollyD – I would never leave my passport in a hotel or hostel, even if the room has a safe. There have been many reports of hotel safes being broken into, even in the US. And I think it is better to have it with you in case the unexpected happens, e.g., you get arrested, a natural disaster occurs, there is civil unrest, etc. I know these things are unlikely, but in the event that something terrible did happen, I would not want to be without my passport.
Another Sarah
Yep, the 4th amendment stops at the border – I’ve been asked many times to show my ID papers in subways and on the street.
PollyD
Interesting responses! I’m generally paranoid, but never would have thought to carry my passport with me. I do bring photocopies, but don’t carry those either. Maybe a compromise would be to carry a photocopy. Not that it looks like I’m going anywhere I’ll need a passport for any time soon. Bummer.
PollyD
Hmm, bad thought – I wonder if those of you who have been asked to show travel documents don’t “match” the population in the countries you are visiting. I’ve never visited a country where I look substantially different than that country’s citizens (plus I usually go in fall/winter, so a dark winter coat perhaps helps me blend in) except maybe Morocco, and we were clearly with a tour group. My Greek boyfriend did tell me he got slightly hassled in Germany about 10 years ago.
Oneanon
PollyD – in response to your last question, I am a tall white girl with light brown hair, and I’ve been asked for my papers both in countries where I looked like I resembled the majority of the people I passed on the streets and in countries where I stood out. It really depends on the country, the political climate, and also the mood of the local police. I also don’t think that the people asking me for my papers would have been amused with my “compromise” of a photocopied passport!
MelD
Polly, I know lots of people who have had passports stolen when they left them in the hostel/hotel room. I had a camera stolen from one hotel when burglars were looking for passports, and stayed in another place when burglars popped in through a window on a construction scaffold and stole someone’s passport in a room where someone was sleeping! I’ve known a few other people who have had their rooms/lockers burglarized and had to get new passports. The problem is a lot more common than you might think.
Nonny
Some countries actually require you by law to carry your official ID with you at all times. I don’t know if China is one of these, but I wouldn’t be surprised.
On the topic of photocopies, in addition to my passport (in my purse or money belt, depending), I carry a photocopy of it and my credit card in my money belt and a separate photocopy in my suitcase back at the hotel.
On the topic of purses generally, I’ve never been pickpocketed (touch wood), but once in Ho Chi Minh City was surrounded by a very professional gang of children who pretended to want to practice their English with me but in reality some of them were sneaking around behind me trying to get into my purse. Luckily my purse was securely zipped up, and I was holding it tightly under my arm. Clearly these kids had had success at that approach before but I didn’t let them get away with anything. It pays to be vigilant.
Livia
I’m going backpacking to South America in July for six months (tomorrow is my last day at work!) and I second the money belt and unobtrusive purse suggestions. I’m somewhat paranoid about pickpockets, so I got this (supposedly; haven’t put it to the test yet) anti-theft purse: http://tinyurl.com/44sgcj3. I also found a little pouch thing that clips to the side of your bra under your armpit, where you can store a credit card and some cash. And for the truly paranoid, there are socks with zip-up pouches where you can store your passport.
Have a great trip, I wish I had more specific advice about China.
Kanye East
I spent a LOT of time in Beijing and Shanghai in the late 90s, but haven’t been to China in over a decade, so my advice is going to be dated. But I love both cities so much and am jealous of all the fun you’re going to have.
It is going to be HOT in July, so that would be my primary wardrobe consideration. (And as Lisa says, air quality is lousy, so if you have asthma or any respiratory sensitivities, make sure you have your inhaler and some Advair.) Use bottled water for everything (including teeth brushing), avoid raw vegetables and fruits that have been rinsed in tap water (no salads), and wipe out any glasses you get at restaurants before pouring beverages. Seriously. Bring tissues/toilet paper and hand sanitizer with you anywhere you go.
If you’re going to be in one location long enough to have clothing custom made, do it. Tailored suits, qipaos, you name it. Otherwise, depending on your size, don’t plan on buying clothing. I’m 5’10” with U.S. size 9.5 shoes and just about anytime I went into a clothing or shoe store, the employees looked me up and down and busted out laughing because they didn’t have anything big enough for me. If you’re going to shop high-end boutiques (Chanel, etc.) you will find a bigger assortment of western sizes, and probably get better deals than you would in the U.S.
Buy: jade, South China Sea pearls, silk rugs (but educate yourself in advance so you know what you’re buying). I also stocked up on butane cigarette lighters with Mao’s portrait on them that play “The East is Red” when you open them, just because they amused me, and made awesome gifts for U.S. friends & family. If you have any time to explore antique markets in Beijing, you can find amazing Qing-era furniture, as well as Mao-era propaganda art & ceramics, if you’re into that kind of thing (I am). A lot of vendors will negotiate prices, so be ready to barter. I used cash almost exclusively when I was in China, and that also makes bartering easier (you can always pull the “I can’t pay 50 kwai for that because I only have 10” and flash the contents of your wallet).
Your itinerary is probably already set, but if you have options: (1) the Qing tombs are much more impressive than the Ming tombs, (2) the sections of the Great Wall 2+ hours outside Beijing are much more impressive and in better condition than the closer, more touristy ones, (3) eat at the restaurant in the Gu Gong at night if you can.
Have fun!
Valleygirl
A friend of mine from China mentioned that her husband (originally from LA) lives in sweat wicking shirts/undershorts when visiting her family in the summer.
Delta Sierra
Never, ever be without one of those small Kleenex packs. In addition to the challenge of squat toilets, there will be many without toilet tissue.
There will be hundreds of street touts every day, everywhere. In Shanghai it was mostly watches, but it could be anything. You need to set your brain for just walking past them without eye contact, otherwise it gets exhausting and annoying.
Always have enough cash on you to pay your bill. Some places don’t take plastic, some take only Chinese cards, sometimes ATMs don’t work.
Take lots of Imodium with you, and whatever you do, don’t drink the tap water. Don’t even brush you teeth with it. Did I learn this the hard way? Yes.
Expect the food to be indifferent. Especially, the meat is trimmed differently from what you might be used to – a whole lot of fat is left on.
If you’re in Shanghai, don’t miss the Yu Yuan Gardens. Look at the roofs. Enchanting. Don’t get too excited about the dumplings, which are meh.
Do smile at everyone. In the midst of people with whom I didn’t share a language, sometimes a big smile from me prompted one from them, and the bond, the connection I felt is one of the best memories I have of China.
No Immodium!
One rec I absolutely don’t agree with and neither does the CDC is Immodium.
Americans seem to love the stuff, but immodium is for temporarily halting diarrhea–like on a long bus ride or a train ride.
It is NOT an adequate or permanent solution for amoebas or typical ‘traveler’s’ bugs, can have an adverse effect if used improperly (including sepsis) and should not be taken for multiple days.
If you have a true bacterial bug, which many of these are, you WILL need to treat with an antimicrobial.
What I do is see my doctor before travel for a pre-prescription of Cipro or equivalent. They give you a full pack of pills, or for long trips, two.
These pills are not used as a preventative, but only when you get the bug-then you take the full course of pills, typically 2 pills a day for 3 days.
I travel quite far off the beaten path, and have in many cases lived in unsanitary areas, so this was the necessity, your experience may vary.
Delta Sierra
Lots of people gets The Runs and will be fine taking Imodium for a couple of days. Very few people need yer actual Cipro.
Laura #2
I don’t think it’s a bad idea to bring Cipro (or something similar–when I traveled most recently my doctor prescribed a different medication). I am generally a “don’t medicate unless needed” type, but that all goes out the window when I travel.
I’ve heard that the general rule is if it’s stomach/GI issues only, stick with Immodium/Pepto Bismol, but once you get more symptoms (fever, etc.) it’s time for the prescription. It is amazing at how quickly Cipro can turn things around, if you will. Hopefully you won’t need it, but if you do, you’ll be glad to have it.
Delta Sierra
You can buy glorious hand-printed blue and white nankeen cottons at this address in Shanghai: No. 24, Lane 637 Changle Rd. Not far from the opera house. Go to 637 Changle Rd., then walk down the alley to #24, at the end. Turn the corner into a grassy yard where they hang the long lengths of fabric out to dry. Turn left into their shop, where charming gentlemen wait on you. Yard goods, pants, jackets, hats, scarves, omg the silk-cotton blend scarves. I bought a big mixed pile of stuff there and paid about $140.
Silicon Valley in House
Ditto to all that has been said. We bought a bunch of custom made clothes — after much bargaining!
The meat issue was challenging, even for my hardcore carnivore hubby. Don’t expect to see a chicken breast, but do expect beaks and feet. Also, as noted before, very fatty. We found we were much happier when we opted for vegetarian fare.
We went to the Great Wall with a company that allows for sleeping on the wall (google it), which was awesome. We started at sunrise at a non-crowded area and finished our hike (and it was a hike!) around lunch time in one of the busier areas.
Definitely bring hand sanitizer. If you haven’t chosen hotels, we went more upscale on this trip and stayed at nice hotels that included a western breakfast, which helped when nothing looked appetizing.
Have fun!
China Advice
Dear All,
Thank you so much for all the wonderful advice. It was exactly what I needed.
Diana Barry
Pretty! I like it – will look for when it goes on sale. Does anyone else have this blouse, and if so, is it super boxy?
Threadjack re: shoes. I just bought a pair of Cole Haan pumps that are nude for me, for a work event:
http://bit.ly/mNU0RQ
I had previously looked for nude for me pumps at Zappos (6 pairs or so) and 9 west (4 pairs). None of those fit. These fit nicely and are not too high (2.36 in/60mm). BUT they were $250. This is way more than I have ever paid for shoes before. Worth it? Should I stalk them on 6pm etc. to see if I can get them on sale? Rrgh.
Mrs. Q
I have these and love them! I bought them in black and nude (they were a bit less expensive on Endless, I think, so check there) and they’re wonderfully comfy. I wore them yesterday from 7am until midnight, walked through airports and downtown, and my feet didn’t both me a bit.
The Online Shopper
This top is lovely! I like the moss (green) and praire rose (pink).
LC
I like this top, but it also sort of reminds me of The Lion King in this color :)
Road Warriorette
*gigglesnort*
thanks for the awesome visual. I think this is less of an issue in the other colors, and I too like the pink.
houda
Houda here!
Following Tuesday’s discussion on natural hair at the office, I have decided to cut my hair!
I had a short haircut yesterday after work and now my hair is only few inches long. It is naturally curly at the bottom but still has some relaxed ends all over… I will have to cut them too in 2 or 3 months.
I have to say the cut was liberating but I was scared walking out of the hairdresser. So far everybody liked the cut so I am happy. I guess by the time I get a negative comment on my hair, I would have gotten already used to my new haircut.
For perspective, I am the only black woman (and manager) at the 150+ office. Hence the apprehension of getting a natural hairstyle.
Thanks for helping me take the plunge!
Caroline
Congrats, houda! It sounds like you look fabulous — own it!!
Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler
I wish I had that kind of confidence. Rock it girl!
Lisa
I wish I had that kind of confidence. Rock it girl!
Honey Bear
houda, your haircut sounds awesome – you should post a picture! You can blur your face out to remain anonymous :)
Kandi-Style
I missed that discussion, but I did it two years ago and I’m a very happy (and long haired) curly girl!!! Kudos to you, Houda.
Mir
Congrats! I bet it’s fantastic–enjoy your new look!
Diana Barry
Awesome!
houda
Thanks all! I am so happy for all the positive reinforcement I get from this community.
Divaliscious11
Yay Houda! My curls are my good luck charm. I’ve been promoted twice since going natural! My advice – play around until you find products that work well for your texture and moisture level.
Lola
Yay! I’m sure you look great. It takes a lot of guts to cut your hair short and/or natural. :)
AN
Can I just say how gorgeous the model is!! I would kill for her skin.
Honey Bear
Agreed, she’s gorgeous!
Res Ipsa
Nice fabric and colors available, but I don’t like the shape enough to be willing to dry clean the blouse.
JDS
Has anyone done the Keratin hair treatment? I’ve been dying to try it and bought a Groupon-type deal for it, but I started googling and have seen horror stories about hair loss. Is this internet hyperbole, or should I re-think going through with it?
Lydia
My sister has done it a few times. The results are very nice, but they often use formaldehyde…so who knows what the long term affects are. She did find that after doing it a few times, her hair was suffering from being really dried out.
Anon
Yes to hairloss. I did it a few times and def noticed an increase in how much hair I lost daily. Also, it took months for my hair to look nice after the keratin was no longer in my hair. My waves were droopy and ugly and even when blowdried my hair was just not pretty. I would not recommend it at this point. However, I did just get a Frieda 3 day straight hair mist that is awesome. I have to blowdry my hair but it stays nice for a lot longer than when I just dry it without the product.
Sorry to ruin the keratin for you :( just wish someone had told me!
Maddie Ross
Love the Freida 3-day straight! It’s the best straightening product on the market that I’ve found (and I swear I’ve tried them all in 30 years of fighting an interesting wave pattern).
Anon
I agree, Maddie! I have a million products under my bathroom sink that just didn’t cut it. The 3 day is great!
somewherecold
I have had the Keratin express (the one that smells like chocolate). I have a lot of hair, and I always have some hair loss when I shower, especially if I really work the conditioner in with a comb, and I don’t think that’s changed.
Livia
I did it last year, and I did not notice a massive improvement from the regular relaxer I get done. (I’m Caucasian, FYI, and I get the relaxer to straighten my hair and minimize the poodle frizz effect.) Both are an improvement on my natural hair condition, but to me, the additional cost of the keratin treatment was not worth it. I didn’t notice an increase in hair loss, but only had one treatment, so I can’t speak to the results after several treatments.
It lasted about 6 months on my shoulder-length hair, and a year later is when my hair is really beginning to look icky again and I need to get something else done. If you wash your hair sparingly and with sulphite-free shampoo/conditioner, it will last longer. (Although weirdly, the first new shampoo/conditioner combo I tried gave me insane dandruff.)
Anon
I’ve never gotten one but according to my stylist you want to make sure to get one without formaldehyde. I think the brazilian blowout is the one without it?
frizzy
I’ve done it twice and haven’t noticed any above-average hair loss. However, I did go to a place through Lifebooker and I’m almost positive that whatever formula they’re using now isn’t the full one, because it’s only a month later and my hair is already starting to get frizzy on humid days (I live in NYC).
Note that the first time I had it done (at the same place) it lasted for a little more than 2 months. I wash my very fine hair daily, though, so I wasn’t expecting it to last as long as they indicate. I was very happy with the first results, hence why I went back the second time. If I do plan on getting it done again, I’m going to go somewhere else, even if it’s more expensive.
And yes, I have fine, frizzy hair. Ick.
tk1
I had it done last year and I had mixed feelings about it. My hair did not get straight but was less frizzy. I didn’t have any damage, but my hair is super thick in terms of shaft and quantity, I think i’d have to set it on fire to damage it. The thing that bothered me was that my hair felt greasy after 1 day, where normally I could go 2 to 3 between washings. I am excited to try the 3 day frieda, glad to see a good review!
LG
I had it done with a formaldehyde-free formula (brand was Global Keratin). I did not notice any abnormal hair loss. I have thin, very curly hair that is a few inches below my shoulders. It did not take all the curl out, but did make the straightening process much faster and tamed the frizz really well when I wore it curly. I am going to do it again this summer.
nona
My mom gets it done, and she does nothing but sing its praises. She has thick, wavy hair and gets the formaldehyde-free treatment (we live in a state where the formaldehyde formula has been banned). She hasn’t complained about hair loss, and while she has a couple of tiny face-framing waves, it’s nothing the blow dryer can’t fix. It looks great as well. I’m such a Goldilocks about my hair (which I can wear curly or straight) that it’s just not for me, but I’ve thought about it often.
anon in dc
I’ve also been interested in keratin treatments for some time now but have been afraid to take the plunge. I have those ‘mixed girl curls/ringlets’ and haven’t relaxed my hair in more than 10 years. Although I get a lot of compliments on my hair, I really wish I could occasionally have another ‘look.’ But I also don’t want to ruin my curls! It made me really pause when people said their curls came back droopy and ugly…
Does anyone have hair similar to mine? Have you tried the keratin treatment or the brazilian blow out? If so, could you share you experience and shed some light on what your hair was like when you were ready for it to be curly again?
Lisa
This is a great top. Doupioni is a fantastic fabric – substantial, yet elegant, low key sheen, texture, delicious. And I imagine this could look great with a suit/jacket over it. Ha! at the Lion King reference, but on a blonde this kind of brown looks very citified:).
SF Bay Associate
Off topic, thanks to your blog, I went to Nordstrom and bought my first red lipstick. I asked one of the artists to find the right red for me (brown hair and eyes, pale-ish skin) across all the brands. Heaven help me, it’s Chanel and was more than $30!!!, but the color is spectacular. It is so surprising to me how powerful wearing that color makes me feel. Thank you Lisa!
Lyssa
Oh, that sounds fun! I’m a redhead and have always avoided red lipsick, but I’m trying to aim for more powerful looks sometimes. I think I’ll drop by Sephora and try the same (no Nordi in my area). Now, to get up the nerve to wear it in public.
SF Bay Associate
I am sure Sephora would have your best red, as would any department store with multiple brand offerings. I just happened to be there to pick up part of my online order and thought, why not? I started at the Laura Mercier counter based on LPC’s blog (she said it was better for brunettes), but apparently I am not the right kind of brunette for a Laura Mercier red. The artist gave a little cluck and said no, you need the blue-red from Chanel.
And now I will hush about Nordstrom, given Cat’s comment yesterday. I don’t want to get Shayna’d.
Cat
replied to your comment on the other thread – no shame-inducing shout out intended! I’ve been browsing myself :)
j
I’m a redhead (strawberry blonde, autumn coloring) and I wear a lot of red lipstick. My three favorites are MAC Lady Danger, MAC Dubonnet, and Palladio (you can get it at Nordstrom Rack or Sally) Toasted Orange.
2L in CA
Hi ladies! I have several 30% off promotion codes for Banana Republic, good through May 30th online. Please leave a note if you’ve used one. Happy shopping. :)
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Thanks!
Thanks so much! Just used the bottom code to buy my boyfriend his entire summer wardrobe… combined with on-line discounts, everything came out about 50% off!
Aria
I had an interview on Tuesday, but neither of the interviewers gave me their cards or contact info. Tuesday night I emailed my HR contact and asked for their email addresses so that I could send thank you notes, but I haven’t heard anything back. Should I attempt to google the interviewers in order to get their email addresses to send thank you notes, or is that creepy (or, perhaps, contrary to company policy, since no one gave me their contact info)? I ruled out mailing handwritten cards because of timing and because one of the interviewers travels so much I’m not sure he’d ever receive it. Thanks!
Scully
Calling HR might get you better results. I say go ahead and Google too- it’s already been two days and email thank yous are usually sent in the first 24 hours.
Anon
Do they have profiles on the company’s website? If so, it’s perfectly acceptable to pull their e-mails from their profiles to send them a thank you note. (For future reference, if you don’t already do this, it’s a good idea to look at your interviewers’ profiles before the interview so you can ask them more detailed questions about what type of work they do and what professional organizations they belong to. In law at least, most interviewers expect that you’ve done this.)
If their contact information isn’t on the company site, I would probably drop it because they apparently do not want to be contacted unless they have specifically given you their contact information. Maybe it would be OK to check LinkedIn, but I’m not sure I would even do that.
Lana Lang
I don’t think this is that unusual – usually I have only got the names of the individuals and not their contact details. If in doubt, just e-mail HR and ask them to forward it on. HR is likely to be very busy and therefore might not get around to replying for ages anyway.
It is nice to say thank you and people appreciate it, but it isn’t going to be a dealbreaker. If they are going to give you the job, I doubt if they are going to change their minds just if they don’t get a thank you, especially if they didn’t give you their details.
TCFKAG
Adding to the chorus, but if their e-mail addresses or other contact info is on the website, then its totally fair game to send an e-mail. Work e-mail is pretty “public” in my opinion and so its not creepy at all.
Aria
Thanks ladies! So since this company doesn’t have public profiles of its employees, HR hasn’t gotten back to me on the contact info, and one of the interviewers didn’t even tell me his last name, it sounds like a thank you note might not be expected. Otherwise, I think I’d have to resort to trolling the State Bar’s website or something in an effort to find their email addresses…
Lola
I’d send handwritten cards. Even if the one guy travels, he’ll eventually get his mail.
Bunkster
Just wanted to note that both BR and GAP have Memorial Day Weekend sales with discounts up to 50% off. I ended up buying more of the premium pants, but there is also a very nice black ponte sheath dress for about $45 at Gap.
After doing the Gap shopping, I decided not to even click through to the BR link, but the deals seem pretty good.
And, no, you don’t need any code. Just go to the websites…
NYC
Shopping report. The ASOS bow blouse was a no-go. It arrived quickly (I ordered it the day Kat posted and it arrived yesterday), but the fit was all off. I think maybe the arm holes were too big? I can’t tell, but there was too much fabric beneath the armpit and the buttons in the back did not lay flat. I think they were all just poor quality issues, and reminds me that I really need to purchase blouses in person.
I also got a loose black skirt below the knee (the jersey midi) that I am going to live in during summer weekends. Like a dressy version of yoga pants. Heaven.
Cat
hm, boo – mine just arrived home so I’ll also report back when I see it in person.
Little Lurker
Thanks for the report — I saved both of those in my cart to buy this weekend!
I am really excited for the jersey skirt; I have a $15 version from Old Navy that I bought years ago, but it hits above the knee awkwardly and the waist has gone all saggy. You’re happy about the quality? (Also, I can’t decide between the black and the camel..)
Supra
I own this shirt (purchased last year) and I have zero fit issues with it. In fact, I just wore it this week.
The size is a UK 8/US 4, and usually in US brand clothes, I’m closer to a 0 or a 2 (J. Crew, I’m looking at you – your shirts are ridiculously vanity sized)
Cat
I was foiled by my building delivery notification – turned out to be a toy for my hubby! Supra, that’s good to know – I usually wear a 0/2 in J-vanity as well, and ordered the US 4 – here’s hoping!
NYC
I wouldn’t say it is a high quality item, but for a cheap summer skirt, it is fine. I could see the waist going saggy eventually. I got the black. I can’t remember what the length looked like on the model, but it hits the top of my calf and I am 5’10”.
Little Lurker
Thanks for the reply!
Angie
Hello Ladies – I need your advice!
I’m trying to break out of my usual comfort zone and bought a Calvin Klein denim-type shirt dress for casual Fridays online. It fits perfectly except for a large gap between the top two buttons. Is it acceptable, for a mostly business casual office, on a Friday, to keep the top button unbuttoned with a camisole underneath? Or should I return the dress?
Thanks!
anon
I would return it for the fact that it is a denim shirt . . .
E
I think that’s fine, assuming the denim shirt dress is in line with your office’s version of casual Friday, which I bet it is. People wear low cut things with camis underneath all the time in much more formal settings.
eb
Did you try using fashion tape to close the gap?
Ses
Install a small snap between the buttons.
Lola
Safety pin!
But to answer your question – I would say no, inappropriate to unbutton the top few buttons and wear a cami.
Confused
Looking to tap your collective wisdom, corporettes! I just scheduled coffee tomorrow to talk with a potential employer. There’s no formal job posting yet, so this is more of an informal “I heard you might be looking for someone who can do what I can do — let’s chat” type of a thing. I’m an attorney, and this person heads up a tech start-up.
Here’s the problem — if I were going to be at work tomorrow, I would dress nicer than I normally do, just in case. I would figure that even if the potential employer isn’t dressed up, I may well have just been coming from another meeting and THAT (not my trying too hard to impress) was the reason I was dressed nicely. But he knows that I’ll be working at home tomorrow, so whatever I wear, it will be clear that I’m wearing it for this meeting. So, what does one wear to a not-quite-an-interview coffee with someone whom I would really love to work with one day? For what it’s worth, his office is very casual, but I suspect he’ll be coming from other business meetings, so perhaps wearing a typical “boy uniform” — khakis and a polo or button down shirt. I was thinking maybe a summery dress that could either read “I’m wearing this because I take this seriously” (if he’s dressed nice) or “man it’s hot — I’m wearing this because it’s comfortable” (if he shows up in shorts). Thoughts???
Lyssa
I worked from home for a while and did a number of coffee/lunch dates like this (although not even with potential employers, just advice-givers, but who knew I was mostly at home). I always wore a suit, and no one seemed to question it. I would avoid a very stiff-looking suit, and maybe take the jacket off, just so you feel a little less formal, though. Don’t worry too much about what he’s wearing- I’ve been to a number of meetings with attoneys that involve wildly differently dressed people; it’s pretty normal nowadays.
Res Ipsa
This has come up in the comments before (maybe someone can find a link), but the short of it is, you’re having coffee to discuss a professional opportunity (distant or potential though it may be) with a potential employer you’ve never met. What is the downside that you see with not dressing like you would for work?
I think we’d need more details on the dress, but if “summery dress” involves spaghetti straps, an exposed back, or if it looks best with flip-flops, you should step up your game. I’d go at least business casual — perhaps a fitted dress with a blazer or Capri pants, flats, and short-sleeved blouse?
Confused
Thanks for the advice. To clarify — by “summery dress” I meant a dress that I regularly wear to work — nothing exposed, no spaghetti straps, but also not something I would wear if I had a big meeting (i.e., not suit or suit-like).
Hel-lo
That sort of dress sounds fine.
You could also wear a nicer top, dressier pants, and a jacket. (Like business casual, or business dress, but one step down from a suit.)
CH
What percentage of your wardrobe would you say is black/gray? I am an attorney in a conservative mid-sized firm and every time I am not wearing either black or gray, my secretary comments on my outfit. As in, “You’re not wearing black today! You look so nice with colors on. You’re so fair that it really livens you up!” I almost always wear a colorful cardigan or blouse or jewelry, but I suppose I do wear a lot of black/gray skirts, dresses, blazers, pants, etc. I don’t think I’ve ever worn an all black outfit. Do you ladies find that you tend to wear a lot of black and gray?
On a related note, with summer approaching I would like to get some lighter colored clothes, but I find they often look more casual (as in a beige skirt that looks like a khaki skirt). Any suggestions on professional-looking beige or white pieces? Thanks all!
anon
I find that when I wear lighter colors in the summer and want to look dressy, fabric quality matters a lot more. With black/grey, you can just get away with lesser quality fabrics and still look relatively pulled together (of course, some people push that too far, but black IS more foregiving). With lighter colors, I look at thicker fabrics or silk. Things that feel and look quality.
eb
I definitely wear a lot of black and grey, although my office is pretty business casual (I think I dress slightly more formally than the 2 other women at my level, tbh). I have a pink BR top I wear occasionally, but mostly it’s black and grey and I mix in purple, teal, and dark blue. I’ve also been looking at lighter colours and fabrics the past few weeks but am always hesitant about them in terms of office-appropriateness/looking good on me vs looking good on a hanger. I think I need to force myself to take a leap into summer clothes soon..
TCFKAG
Just today I was commenting on how I need to go to the store this weekend to get more colors.
I believe my exact quote was “I’m worried that people at work are going to start to think I’m moonlighting as an undertaker.”
So yeah…I wear A LOT of black and gray…:-P
karenpadi
I have a hard time matching so all of my pants, skirts, cardigans, and blazers are black or grey.
When I buy tops, I have to ask the sales lady if it goes with black, grey, and dark jeans. If not, I don’t buy it. Boring yes, but at least no one pulls me aside and informs me that I don’t match (anymore).
TX Attny
I, too, wear black and/or gray every day. Today, I’m wearing black AND gray but with a colorful blouse – doesn’t that count?!
I hear you about trying to find lighter colors that look professional, and I’m afraid I don’t have answers. I have seen women in great-fitting white slacks with a bright blouse or sweater, and I think they look great. Still business professional but summery too.
Anon
I wear lots of black and gray. And I too have moments where I think I need to add color but I think black and gray look the most professional and it’s just easy to seem like you’re put together when you wear those colors (even if you’re not). :) I started thinking it was bad to just wear black/gray but then I noticed that the smart, pretty female partner I work for pretty much only wears those colors too (and yes, she always seems put together). So I think it’s fine. I do try to liven it up with non-black shoes and pretty necklaces.
Hel-lo
What I’ve learned from this site is: Try two neutrals at at a time, with a splash of color. If you add another color, make it a contrasting color.
Adding color is good, when you add it with neutrals. It’s ok to start with one color at a time. But if you’re also wearing two neutrals, then it won’t look like black-on-black-on-black-on-gray.
anon in dc
Love this! Why didn’t I think of this before? It would have saved me hours of standing in the closet totally confused about how to put things together..
Mir
Oooh, I will have to buy this. I’m wearing a top very similar to this one today and it is my absolute favorite blouse. Love the doupioni silk (especially today, the day of my first miserably hot, humid metro ride of the DC summer). Ugh. Unfortunately, I feel like it’s very memorable — it’s a kind of muted chartreuse yellow color– so I can’t wear it as often as I’d like. I’ll definitely be after the neutrals of this Talbots version.
Anon
Threadjack – I want to purchase a gift for my younger brother (26) for being an attendant in my upcoming wedding. I’m at a bit of a loss as to what to get him! He lives overseas, so will be traveling to come to the wedding, so whatever I give him needs to be easily portable. He already has a watch, and cufflinks aren’t really his style.
Would a nicer duffel/overnight bag be a good idea? I’m looking to spend between $100-150. Thanks!
eb
What about a wallet? A bag is great and also useful – but unless he repacks his stuff in it to travel, may be a bit much for him to take pack.
Bunkster
Monogrammed flask or sterling silver bottle opener?
These seem to be popular groomsmen gifts…
Miriam
I got a pink flask with my nickname engraved for being a bridesmaid in my sister’s wedding. Awesome gift!
Cat
Kindle with a few books pre-downloaded for the trip home?
Lynnet
This sounds like a great present!
Res Ipsa
You know your brother better than any of us, so if you think your brother would like or could use a duffel bag, then that’s what makes a great gift. People who are getting married have a tendency or compulsion to give some sort of mandatory, tangible token to their attendants, with the result that, frankly, you end up with a large collection of personalized sterling/pewter stuff you don’t want or need or particularly treasure. (To wit: flasks, beer steins, bill holders, pocket knives, jewelry boxes, pocket mirrors, key chains, business card holders, etc.)
I think the best gift my husband got for serving as a best man was having a white button-down shirt custom-made that was the shirt he wore for the wedding (and quite frankly, still the nicest shirt he owns…) Otherwise, can you take him to a baseball game or a round of golf while he’s home, or get him a gift certificate for a restaurant where he lives?
Lizzie
I love the loose styling and the very feminine ruffle around the neck. Not so crazy about the bronzy/brown color here, though.
Bunkster
I’m actually wearing a brown Talbots sheath to work today. It cost $16 at the Talbots outlet, but retailed for $148. It’s very Mad-Men-esque with cap sleeves, scoopneck, and slant pockets. Everytime I wear it, I get compliments.
But because there’s a Talbots outlet in Hingham, basically 20 minutes from my apartment, I don’t even shop at the regular Talbots. I don’t pay full-price for anything.
luluaj
I just discovered the Hingham outlet. It’s fantastic. I was so annoyed to see racks of the wool blazer (marked for about $30) that I purchased full price this winter.
TCFKAG
HINGHAM? That’s nearish to me. Google to the rescue! ;-)
Bunkster
Yup. Talbots is actually headquartered in Hingham, so my guess is this outlet gets more than most. They have lots of samples, too. They also have J.Jill items because Talbots owns J.Jill.
It’s a great outlet. For $100, you’ll probably walk out with 7 or 8 items.
S in Chicago
I wear a lot of purple. Do you think this ring is too big for the office?
https://www.theanimalrescuesite.com/store/item.do?siteId=310&itemId=45132&adId=69978&placementId=194885&origin=ERA_052611_ARS_Html
Bonnie
It looks like a fun, weekend ring to me.
karenpadi
It depends on your age. I think more senior women are better able to pull off this type of jewelry than someone in their 20s or 3os.
Coffee time
I have a law firm interview and was asked to meet a partner and associate for coffee ahead of time on the weekend — any advice on what to wear? (Lateral position, the coffee shop is in a neighborhood area – not downtown office location.)
Res Ipsa
Here’s the link I mentioned above.
https://corporette.com/2010/08/23/emergency-reader-mail-what-to-wear-to-an-informal-interview/
Gem
Inspired by Houda’s change of look I need a change of hairstyle. At the moment I have mid back length blonde hair with a light fringe (bangs). I tend to pin the whole lot up and back for work. I’m late 20s, uk based, and looking for inspiration for my change. I prefer to be able to pull it back for running and the like. Any style suggestions please to get me out of this rut?
Cat
hm – longish, layered bob, and grow the bangs out a little to sweep sideways? Not an “exciting” cut, but definitely versatile.
Hel-lo
Yup – the cut that Cat describes is worn by a lot of women in my office/area… but each of us has different hair textures and colors, and it looks different on each of us.
But my best recommendation is to find a stylist you trust, and then tell them you want a change. Tell them your criteria, and let them use their skills to find something awesome for you.
I did that a few months ago, and I didn’t even like the cut at the time. But my stylist loved it, and my friends and colleagues loved it, and now I can’t imagine life without it. :)
Gem
Thank you ladies. I think part of the problem is the stylist issue. I relocated 6months ago and work in a male industry, have male friends, and seriously can’t think of a single woman I know enough to ask for a recommend. I know one woman who uses the local collage salon, but I don’t want a half trained teenager. May have to wait until I visit my sister and can go to her fabulous stylist.
Hel-lo
In my town, I just kept trying Aveda salons until I found one that I felt comfortable with. Good luck!
Hel-lo
I absolutely love this top. I think it’s beautiful.
If I weren’t on my self-imposed austerity measures, I would buy it today.