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Frugal Friday’s Workwear Report: Floral Top

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A woman wearing a floral printed square top and white pants

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

Springtime usually means that I need to update my wardrobe with one or two additional short-sleeved tops. This square-neck top from Loft would be a great option for spring-y ensembles. Pair with a charcoal suit for a more formal look or white trousers on a casual day.

The top is $36, marked down from $59.95, at Loft and comes in sizes XXS-XXL and XXSP-XXLP. 

Sales of note for 5/23/25:

246 Comments

  1. Does anyone have a Kia Sorento hybrid (the crossover one)? We’re looking for a crossover hybrid with AWD and it keeps coming up with the features we’d like, but Kia hasn’t historically had the best safety reputation. My husband has heard rumors that that is a thing of the past, but we’re not really super in the know on this things. Anyone own this car or know much about its safety rep? One kid, no pets, need it for regional urban driving and some light offroad (trailhead, etc.) driving in the summer and some skiing in the winter. We really want some of the newer safety features too.

    1. Have you seen the YouTube video of the Kia Soul getting hit by a tire and flipping on a busy road (and then the tire comes back and attacks twice)? It’s worth watching. I had a Soul as a rental and loved it. I have the same off-road needs you do and would get a Kia but not the Soul but maybe the Sorrento with no hesitation. I see them a bit with the college kids in Boone.

    3. What about Consumer Reports? If you don’t want to buy a membership/subscription, you can usually read it through your public library.

  2. Has anyone had no ADHD issues as a kid / young adult but feel like it’s a constant battle to focus once you have a couple of teen kids and still have the intense job that was formerly not an issue? I feel like staying focused is a challenge, but when it was just self-care for 1 person and just my school work or job, it was fine (and fine to stay on top of just my transportation / medical / bills / food needs). I even did OK during the pumping / day care / summer camp but every week is slightly different (do we swim daily? weekly? must I send a Nalgene?). But now, when I should be a master, and have just added some non-acute eldercare and estate administration, I feel like I am in quicksand. Like in a few years when the kids are off to college, will I not know what to do with all my free time (I know: restart my tennis hobby; I’m already shopping for it)? Or will it just be some other thing consuming me?

      1. +1 ADHD is literally a difference in your brain that you’re born with. It doesn’t happen because of stress. But stress and other hormonal things (perimenopause, etc) can mimic ADHD symptoms.

      2. +1. But it sounds like you could offload a lot of this to your kids themselves. Teens should be packing their own water bottles and other gear for a day of camp or activities, and you could give them the responsibility of writing their schedules in a centralized location so you aren’t juggling it all in your head. Look at it as a kindness to them: your job in the teen years is to let the leash out gradually and teach them independence

        1. Oh, no. That was from the summer camp years, like K-COVID. They cook on a gas stove now. Like I managed a different every week weekly schedule from June-late August for years that was planned out like D Day and now I just feel like some day I will miss something big. I guess I’m glad I’m not a surgeon or an air traffic controller.

        2. I read this as what she was doing during the elementary years and handled without a problem. But to your point of teens managing their schedules, it’s also a lot of emotional work and training. We have a weekly sit-down with our teen to go through schedules and logistics. There are still last-minute curveballs that he doesn’t think about, like something that pops up mid-week that wasn’t in an official email or anything.

          1. Ymmv but I find the teenage years harder than the little kid years. Yes, I slept less but you can kind of autopilot with small kids in a different way than with teens. I need to help them learn how to manage life themselves – it’s almost like training an employee. I spend a LOT of time explaining my decisions/guiding my teens on their choices so they see the thought process and can replicate it later.

      3. +1. OP, I’m right there with you. I am not managing well, and it’s because I have way too freaking much on my plate, and I’m guessing you do, too.

        1. Same. It’s suffocating in a way that is hard to describe. I see you both.

          1. If you have a spouse, does he get it? I feel like mine doesn’t. He’s pulling his weight, it’s not really that, but I feel like he doesn’t understand how much the mental load and the responsibility of being everyone’s go-to person weighs on me. I’m afraid my oversized sense of responsibility is a personality trait that isn’t going away.

          2. I have a husband and an exhusband that I co-parent with. Both pull their weight (I am lucky). But I’m solo handling my mother’s care management and finances. I co-run the high school sports booster club. I’m an SVP at work and working on the most defining project of my career. I’m tired and sad and simply put one foot in front of the other each day.

    2. It’s perimenopause, not ADHD. And you’ve layered in a ton of stress and responsibility with elder care and teens. The emotional workload, not to mention the physical and emotional overload is no joke. Be kind to yourself. Ask for help.

      1. +1. Perimenopause plus my work demands are MUCH harder in this life stage vs. when my kids were small 10-12yrs ago. I’m more senior, I manage people, and I don’t have as much support underneath me as my firm has made a ton of support staff cuts. Adding in more health stuff myself AND elder care and I feel burned out even though my kids can do a lot more themselves.
        Maybe your work is different but when my kids were small a decade ago there were no zoom/video calls, we mostly used blackberries (audio only) and even in a consulting role there was slightly less of an ‘always on’ culture compared to today.

      2. Yes to this. Find a menopause certified specialist and have them look at your hormones. Testosterone has made such a difference for me and brain fog/focus.

    4. I actually wanted to post about this generally, but have you read the recent article in NYT magazine about adhd? Writer is also on Fresh Air discussing it, if that’s easier to digest. According to him, the latest research suggests that for some people ADHD is situational, not necessarily permanent. Or you may just be overloaded/burnt out. Not everything is a medical issue.

      1. Not everything is a medical diagnosis, but it’s still a biological phenomenon. For me somehow making time for sleep (or rest) and getting nutrition (even if a B complex is more doable than a square meal) help with crunch times.

        1. I think you are making the same point. Getting sleep and proper nutrition is the most basic “how to take care of yourself 101”, and we as a society tend to sacrifice those and jump straight to “something is wrong/I need medication and therapy/this is just life now”. Yah, if you aren’t getting 7+ hours a sleep a night and are constantly spiking your blood sugar you WILL feel foggy, distracted and burned out

          1. +1 i totally agree with this. I’ve written here before that I’m in the process of focusing on the basics; movement, social connection, prioritization of sleep and good nutrition. I feel great but it takes up more time than I thought! I can totally see how someone already busy with a demanding job and personal responsibilities would feel this way!

      2. I will buy the ‘ADHD is situational’ stuff once you show me a neurotypical person who will regularly procrastinate or forget to do things like eating food, water, and taking bathroom breaks. I buy that it improves once an adult has more control over their work/home but it has never ‘gone away’ for me. I would also love to know if the people for who it has ‘gone away’ have full time SAH spouses or lots of executive assistant support at work.
        I and my kid are both innatentive type ADHD and if it wasn’t for timers/visual reminders (a full tumbler of water by my desk) or environmental cues (everyone in the office is eating, guess I should eat), I would regularly forget to feed/water mysef.

        1. Yeah, as someone parenting a child with pretty severe ADHD, I am immediately skeptical that ADHD is situational. My experience is that it’s pervasive and definitely not something that switches off and on. My kid also forgets to eat if we’re not telling him to, which has caused other problems.

          1. I didn’t read the article, but I assume they meant that people who don’t really have ADHD can situationally test as having ADHD on the available tests because other issues can impair executive function?

            A percentage of people are left with ADHD-mimicking symptoms after COVID infections, so that is complicating things further currently.

          2. The article specifically says that there are people with severe adhd for whom meds are necessary, but for the majority it can be situational and likely improved with environmental and non-medical interventions. That’s not to say your son doesn’t have a “real” case but that our understanding of it as a biological medical condition like diabetes is flawed.

        2. This. I had a diagnosis as an adult but my father was in full agreement that there a lot of things in my youth in hindsight were missed indicators. Also had an anxiety diagnosis in early 20s and school struggles despite high grades in high school/college/law school.

          My ability to function/mask only collapsed after 3 kids + medical issues. Medication is not a magic bullet but diagnosis gives me more confidence to be assertive about what I need in terms of structure and scheduling with DH to keep family functioning and protect my mental health.

      3. Yes! Gift link to the article:
        https://www.nytimes.com/2025/04/13/magazine/adhd-medication-treatment-research.html?unlocked_article_code=1._k4.6RlY.A_N8wdoC2EJG&smid=url-share

        They say that in a big study that went for many years both the control group and the adhd group picked up and dropped symptoms of adhd. That unprompted a lot of people said “the right fit” in their job or school or work was what immensely helped their ADHD, more so than meds.

        I am a late-diagnosed ADHDer myself – and perimenopausal and have a lot on my plate with kids and work. I’m unmedicated beyond Wellbutrin. It was a very interesting article to me!!

        I think my takeaway was that I’m not wrong to dislike the meds, it isn’t weird that my symptoms get worse when I’m doing nonpreferred tasks… and that all of the tips and tricks for “ADHD brains” are still immensely helpful to me.

      4. Personally, I think screens have hijacked attention in a way that leads to symptoms that mimic ADHD. Even the most neurotypical adult is going to struggle under the constant onslaught of notifications. Heck, I got no fewer than 8 reminders via text and email to make sure I’d be on time for an appointment just the other day.

        1. Heck I’d be happy with just text and email. I have 2 emails to check (one is just school related), texts, apps, and people just dropping things into my calendar at work (and the calendars do not talk to each other, so now all non-work things need to be imported into the work calendar to avoid double booking). Then there is one thing on Band and one on group me and a bunch other apps to check. My attention can only be split so many ways.

        2. +1. I can recall having less difficulty focusing as a teenager or college student. I think the comments about “right fit” in work may also apply to me, though. :/

    5. 100% I think everyone has a different saturation point depending on what’s going on in your life. For some people, it never hits, for other it hits at key life stages. I’ve never had problems focusing or staying organized. DH has ADHD and literally cannot even think straight in a crowded room. But when we had 3 kids and 2 very busy jobs, my life went into tailspin and got completely overwhelmed- quicksand as you said. I think it sounds like things will clear up for you once the kids go off to college.

      1. +1 – I’m in my mid-40s with middle school aged kids, one of whom has ADHD. I absolutely do not have ADHD and would have denied nearly all symptoms of it until the last 5 years. Preteen kids, perimenopause, the weirdness of life post-COVID (am I in the office, am I not in the office), the feeling that I am always “on” – I am having a horrible time lately.

    7. It’s not that any one thing is hard, it is just having to have 500 tabs open all the time.

    8. I found that my teenage son needed me to be there emotionally more than anything. When I read about daily swimming and other activities, I have to say that it is okay to not have your kid involved in so many activities. One of the major reasons that we insisted that our son go to his local school was that we wanted him to be able to get there on his own. Kids can take the bus and ride their bike. Don’t feel guilty about stepping back a little. Your kids will be fine.

    9. On the ADHD front, I do worst with boring tasks with “non-acute” deadlines. It sounds like all the stuff added on to your plate is of the boring variety that you have to slog through. Is this what’s making you have the quick sand feeling? If so, figure out what reward system will work for you. Or, if we are all being honest, ignore it until it becomes an “acute” deadline so you can knock it out.

  3. Is anyone else watching Your Friends and Neighbors? I love it, but I don’t understand how none of this people have Ring cameras, which are standard in my less wealthy neighborhood.

    1. My camera is useless — between moths and cats driving by, anything real gets lost in a sea of other videos. It’s like discovery done badly with the data dumping.

      1. Oh interesting. We don’t have a Ring (I’m kind of paranoid about data privacy) but several of my friends do and if I stop by their house and they’re not home I get a text like “saw you on my camera, sorry I wasn’t there!” So I wasn’t sure how Jon Hamm could be sneaking into people’s homes undetected. Maybe my friends spend an unusual amount of time monitoring their cameras, lol.

    2. Right? And how did he not get caught the first night when he answered the door for the cops?

      1. Yeah I feel like the cops would have asked him for some ID! They came to our house once when my daughter accidentally dialed 911 and they requested ID even though there was no evidence of a crime in progress.

      2. He didn’t get caught cause he’s White – I noticed how the cops just took his word for it that he lived there/was the owner. If he was Black the cops would have wanted ID, neighbors to vouch for him, etc.

        1. I’m white and the cops wanted ID when they came to our door once. I don’t think this is realistic even for a white person (though he certainly would have been treated worse if he was Black).

          1. I once set off the alarm in my rental. The cop looked at my ID, but at no point needed proof that I actually lived there. And I had just moved there less than a month ago. But White lady in affluent neighborhood was good enough I guess.

    3. And of course…. no security systems? Dogs? Or “staff” at these estates? I would think some of those folks would even have live-ins.

    4. My well-off mid 70s white parents in a medium-hcol suburb in the northeast were shocked that people would have cameras on their houses, let alone ones they could talk through. Shocked!

      They haven’t locked their house with any regularity in decades. It’s maddening but they live in a weird bubble.

      1. I’m in a VHCOL Silicon Valley town and Ring cameras aren’t that common, especially among folks who have lived here for awhile. Low crime area and people have real data privacy concerns.

        1. I live in a VHCOL east coast urban area and pretty much everyone has cameras. It’s nice to be able to yell at someone when they’re soliciting or shooting up on your porch.

      2. We also don’t have anything like a Ring b/c of privacy concerns, but this has backfired. We live somewhat rural and don’t have security concerns, but that also means my husband does not have it on his radar that others DO have these types of devices.

        My spouse cannot seem to grasp how ubiquitous it is for people to have video cameras on their house. I am often so embarrassed while waiting for a host to answer the door because of his dumb behavior…stuff like pantomiming that he is going to poop in the flowerpot by the door. He cannot seem to remember that just because he isn’t visible from a window, the doorbell camera is recording his every move. Fine (if juvenile) antics when we drop by an old friend’s house, absolutely not cool when we are arriving at my CEO’s house for firm event. He also doesn’t get it that these cameras record audio…

        1. I don’t know if my poker face would be good enough to pretend I didn’t see something like that on a camera. The worst I’ve witnessed was a fart that scared a squirrel.

          1. If we ever visit you, please don’t filter your reaction! Mortification is the only thing that will save us.

    5. I feel like they tried to explain it away on the show that they were so rich and so used to be insulated from crime that it would never occur to them to have cameras. Instead, they have private security.

  4. I’m in the early days of what’s shaping up to be a nasty divorce and custody battle. The shared credit card showed an airline charge “pending” for a week, and then it disappeared. I’m guessing he bought tickets and then cancelled them? Is there any other plausible reason for those charges? TIA

    1. I think you are conflating two questions.

      Mechanics? Plenty of times charges will initially show up as pending, then disappear for a time, only to actually get applied later (like, at the time the goods are actually rendered).

      Plausible reason for possible flights, and the implications for your custody battle? That’s a question for your lawyer.

    2. i wonder if you could call the airline and put extra restrictions on your children traveling for their records

      1. I don’t think that would work if it’s domestic travel. They’re not going to block a child from traveling with one parent unless there’s a court order to that effect.

    3. Are you concerned he might try to kidnap the child(ren)? If so, talk to your attorney. In my state a prohibition against taking the children out of the jurisdiction is pretty standard.

    4. Certain states do not let you take them to a different jurisdiction without explicit permission of the other parent.

      Speak to your attorney ASAP on this.

      If the father of the children is Lebanese be aware that while you are married they don’t need the other parents permission to obtain a Lebanese passport. This was an issue and the police took it very seriously with border control being informed.

      Get the passports out of the house and in a deposit box in your name only at the bank.

  5. So Google wants employees in office five days a week, thinks 60 hours a week is the “sweet spot for productivity,” and has axed on-site childcare. The median rent for a one-bedroom apartment in Mountain View is well over $3k; the cost of a fixer single family home is too absurd to type out. I think Google has found a very effective way to keep those pesky women and “DEI hires” at bay without saying it in so many words.

    1. I mean, I wouldn’t personally want a job where I had to work 60 hours per week, but Google pays SUPER well and on-site childcare is a pretty rare perk, most employers in the US don’t offer that.
      Some of my closest girlfriends from college work in big tech in the Bay Area at Google and other FAANG companies and they’re really happy. It’s not the lifestyle I would want, but plenty of women like money and are willing to work hard for it. Your comment actually feels kind of sexist to me, like only men are willing to work 60 hours for big $$$?

      1. No, more like men don’t take on their fair share of childcare and housework and will be more able to commute 4 hours a day to work 60 hours a week while their wives or mothers take care of their kids. It’s not a mystery or a surprise that in-office requirements in industries that don’t actually need it are more harmful to women, at least as long as women are doing the lion’s share of the thankless, unpaid work at home.

        1. Nobody working in a professional position at Google is commuting 4 hours a day. They pay plenty for you to live in the peninsula/south bay. There are plenty of professions who have been full-time in person for a lot longer and don’t get paid nearly as much – teachers, law enforcement, restaurant and hotel staff, nurses, etc. I don’t like big tech for other reasons but I don’t get the outrage about expecting employees to work long-ish hours on site. They’re paid a ton!

          1. Google itself provides shuttle buses that take an hour each way without traffic (SF to Mountain View), so yes, employees are commuting a long way.

          2. I don’t know why you would call that ‘not commuting’. Plenty of tech workers are not living on the peninsula, they commute from Marin, Berkeley or Fremont. That’s easily an hour drive each way.
            The outrage is that there is no business reason to take 10 hours out of people’s week, when the day at the office is spent on video calls with remote people.

          3. The shuttles are because single 20-somethings would rather live in the city of SF, which has more nightlife and better dating prospects. It’s not because they can’t afford to live near work! SF is more expensive than San Jose.

          4. I didn’t say they’re not commuting. I said they’re not commuting 4 hours per day. Even if you live in SF or Fremont it’s not a 4 hour daily commute. Bay Area traffic is insane, but it’s not that insane! And you only have to go in three days/week.

          5. Beg to differ re Bay Area traffic not being that intense. 2 mos ago, on a random Tuesday, I had a doctors appt at the Palo Alto PAMF, coming from SF. It took me 2 hours and 45 minutes, there were no accidents AND I paid a boatload to use the pay-toll lanes to try to get there on time (I did not–I was 15 mins late).

            Pre-Covid traffic levels are back and are very, very real.

            For the record, I live on the “far side” of SF near Presidio Heights, so I had to get across SF to get to 101.

            And yes, Google shuttles pick up in my hood all the time.

      2. This. I also have two very close girlfriends who have happily worked at Google for many years. My friends who work in biglaw in NYC work a comparable amount and also do not have on-site daycare. In fact, I do not have any friends who have a job with on-site daycare.

        1. Yup. Of my friends from undergrad and professional school, the ones who went the tech route worked fewer hours for about the same money as those of us who went the law / finance route. Hours get more comparable ~10 or 15 years out, but definitely worlds of difference in the 20s and early 30s.

        2. We had on-site daycare at the university I work for but it was really hard to get into and insanely expensive (for our LCOL area, though moderately priced by NYC/SF standards).

      3. The lack of on-site childcare and the hours requirement does disadvantage women more than men. Just as, when Covid happened and children couldn’t go to school, women’s employment rates dropped so that they could stay home to be with their children. My source for this was the KFF’s Women, Work and Family During Covid-19 study.

      4. Nah it’s not sexist at all. Men are more than happy to be shitty parents and dump their responsibilities on others where as women have a sense of duty.

    2. Agree, it’s a good way for them to have layoffs without “having layoffs”. Not just women, but probably the majority.

    3. A lot of US companies used to have childcare on-site. A mid-size company I interned for even had childcare until 2013ish. They turned it into a fitness center.

      1. I’ll die on the hill that the absolute best way to make people want to come to the office is to offer high-quality childcare on site with rooms for nursing mothers too.

        1. No, this is the best way to make mothers want to come to the office. Not all people. It would not make an ounce of difference for me. Free food in the cafeteria and flexible work hours are what get me into the office. Not everyone is a mom.

          1. Moreover, it only works for moms with kids that are 5 and under. That’s like less than 1/3 of moms with kids at home.

        1. I’m a woman who is a former Googler. I know a fuck ton of women who still work there. They are all doing absolutely fine, whether they have kids or not. This is such a weird group to be worrying about.

      2. If you can look past your envy for a second, you might see that as a leading employer in the industry, cutting back perks at Google may very well have ripple effects.

        1. I’m literally an ex Googler, lol. Please trust me when I say women in tech should not be your top priority for concern.

          3. You’re missing the point that the changes shove women out of tech at higher rates than men. That’s so great if people employed at Google currently are doing so well. It’s sad to think of women being increasingly excluded from that awesome situation.

          4. They absolutely do not and will not force women out of tech, lmao. Money really does solve problems.

          6. Another woman in tech here: when a company that’s seen to set the diversity/inclusivity standard for tech companies decides they can mandate in office policies, virtually everyone else falls in line. And the smaller tech companies aren’t paying Google wages. I agree that there are far higher priorities, but I’ve seen negative effects on parents since my company cracked down on their previous flexible scheduling policy, and people are allowed to complain about things even if they’re not the worst.

    5. Do they have to work all 60 hours in the office? Pre-covid biglaw expected you to be in the office every day but most people leave at a reasonable hour and log back on from home. Most people also roll in the office sometime around 10 am.

      1. Not at all. They only have to go into the office 3 days a week. This is really not draconian; most of the world is no longer fully remote and Googlers are very highly compensated.

      1. thanks for the correction. I feel that makes a big difference. Not just in terms of impact on work life balance, but in reasonableness of the requirement.

      2. And time spent commuting on the bus may count as work time. It does at Apple I’m told.

    7. Childless (childfree) woman of color here, and this does nothing to “keep me at bay”. Am I supposed to be incapable of hacking a 60-hour work week? Or are you just assuming that all women have children?

      1. Most (~85%) of women have children by their 40s. It’s reasonable to infer that changes that are bad for families are going to affect women more.

        1. Ok, but I still don’t get why this is a way to push “DEI hires” out any more than white hires.

        2. It’s not 85% of women in tech, in the Bay Area. I can confirm that.

          Source: Woman in tech in the Bay Area.

          1. And even the ones who have kids don’t typically have their first baby until they’re at least 30, often more like 35-40, at which point careers are more established, salaries are higher and they can pay to live close to work if desired.

    8. The women I know who work for FAANG companies in Silicon Valley mostly own $3M+ homes near work and are not worried about childcare or commuting at all. As the other poster said, money really does solve (almost) everything and it’s a really weird group to be so worried about.

      1. Who is “so worried”? You sound unfamiliar with the concept of minor commentary.

    9. The reason the US has such shit worker protection and benefits is because corporations and politicians have convinced the working class to make due with the scraps they give us.

      Just look at the responses to this and see how little people actually value something so precious as the limited time they have in this world.

  6. Anyone have a review of the Dagne Dover Dakota backpack? Or a recommendation for a similar travel backpack?

    1. I have it. I’m pretty sure it is the medium. I use it as my work bag and it fits my laptop and a few notebooks, small pouch, etc. I use it for travel as well and take my kind, headphones, a few other things. It can be a tight squeeze depending on how much you put in it, but I’m happy with it overall.

      One complaint – my Owala 24 oz bottle does not fit in the side pockets. It does fit inside.

  7. People who don’t cook or barely cook – what are you doing for meals? I’m in such a rut and have a lot going on in my life, and I kind of want to opt out of cooking for a bit.

    1. Trader Joes frozen meals or charcuterie for dinner (cheese, nuts, crackers, fruit, olives)

      1. I like Trader Joe’s frozen quinoa patties. And in the refrigerated section — the new chicken salad for sandwiches and the chickpea kale salad.

    2. What I would give to go back to having a meal plan and a dining hall… really, this should be a think for the 20 somethings and 30 somethings in the city!

      1. I know! My parents live in a retirement community and have a dining hall and a meal plan. I wish it were an option for people in mid-life.

      2. This is the Whole Foods buffet :)
        We use a delivery meal service– the kind that’s premade meals, not blue apron where you have to cook yourself. Expensive but healthy and fast.

    4. Microwaved oatmeal with added cinnamon, peanut butter, yogurt, pre-sliced or dried fruit. Vegan sausage patties (baked from frozen) on the side if particularly hungry.

      1. I’ve seen a couple of simple microwave cookbooks lately that look very straightforward and would be my choice if in a similar rut.

    5. I like to cook, but I also have a chronic illness and often don’t have a lot of energy and need to eat ASAP. So I eat a lot of meals that fall into the category of things on toast (homemade whole wheat in my case, but just buy a good one and keep it in the freezer), things in a wrap (TJs whole wheat lavash) or tortilla, or a grain bowl (make a big batch and freeze or buy the pouches). Then I do some protein: peanut butter, frozen falafel, refried beans, various other beans, edamame, baked tofu (comes in a package from TJs) or scrambled tofu (only takes a few minutes to make a big batch). I also add veggies, either from a bagged green mix, roasted (I do big batches) or just some chopped tomatoes or cucumbers or shredded carrots or whatever. Then add a sauce: guacamole, salsa, chipotle mayo, pesto, tahini, hummus, dressing, whatever else you’re into, homemade or from the store. Add in some frozen meals from TJs and you get quite a variety of reasonably healthy, cheap meals that only take a few minutes to assemble, especially if you do a little advance prep.

    6. Tuna sandwiches, protein shakes, beyond burgers, yogurt parfaits. Quinoa bowls with quinoa made once a week. Lots of fruits and vegetables; I cut up salads, but I would buy ready made salads if that was too much for me.

    7. Sheet pan meals for low-cook. Or the grocery store pre-made meals that you just pop in the oven to warm. The Wegmans near me has a great salmon and potatoes that feels healthy and comforting, and I would never cook it myself.

      Alternatively, bagged salad mix + rotisserie chicken + shredded cheese and baby tomatoes can get you several meals.

    9. Chili Mac – box of Mac, can of chili (I have preferred veggie brands)

      Indian- Curry sachets, basmati rice and naan

      ‘Asian’ bagged salad, add chopped up Sriracha tofu and make some air fryer spring rolls

      Veggie dogs wrapped in crescent rolls, bagged salad as the side

      Frozen veggie Jamaican patties and frozen fries

      Can of lentil soup, with good crusty bread buttered

      Ramen with added frozen veggies (I like edamame, corn, and carrots) Sriracha tofu if I have it

      1/2 a Frozen pizza with bagged salad as the side.

      Beans on toast British style

    10. My bf and I have started doing Cook Unity, which I love. Wide variety of international meals and all I have to do is microwave them (they’re fresh, not frozen). I get a weekly delivery of 8 meals/week, so all of my lunches and most of my weeknight dinners are covered. Huge fan and I’ve got a code if you want it.

    12. I do a lot of frozen stuff or easy things like grilled cheese or pasta with jarred sauce. And takeout. I’m a good cook and I like cooking for others, but cooking for myself is so tedious.

    13. another suggestion from me: rice bowls with sheet pan roasted veg/meat. cook the rice in a rice cooker, put in a bowl, add the roasted stuff, then add jarred kimchi, some chopped scallions or herbs (use scissors), and bottled sauce/condiments of your choice (terriyaki, peanut, soy sauce, the Fly by Jing vinegrette, siracha, whatever) and you get a very satisfying low effort meal. maybe top with a fried or soft boiled egg if you feel like the extra effort.

    14. I tried Factor 75 for a couple weeks because I had friends from non-overlapping circles rave about it. I quit because I found the food overall too bland for me (I normally eat a lot of spicy southeast Asian and Indian food so ymmv), but it was definitely very convenient and the portions were decent.

      I also rely on a lot of frozen Trader Joe’s foods when I can’t be bothered to cook. Or if I have a moment but don’t want to use more than one pot, I’ll do a very simple Chinese inspired noodle meal of TJ’s squiggly noodles, throw in some spinach after the noodles are cooked but the water is still boiling for a few seconds, and then eat canned fish for my protein.

    16. Breakfast for dinner
      DIY lunchables (cheese, veggies, crackers)
      Apple slices with PB
      Cottage cheese with nuts and toast
      Oil-canned tuna on salad greens with good vinegar

    17. fiber tortilla + slice or two of cheese = quesadilla
      2 eggs over hard

      i make a lot of things in advance, freeze them in souper cubes, and reheat. this works great with rice and bean dishes, oatmeal, soup, elbow noodles… i also freeze cheeseburgers and sandwiches; the key for me is using ezekial english muffins because they freeze really really well. (and, high fiber!)

    18. Chipotle and the Whole Foods salad bar w extra protein (so one of the salads and add the paleo friendly chopped chicken and some hard boiled eggs)

  8. Between COVID and the current political situation (which will only get worse), what life advice or weird hangups do you think you’ll end up passing on to your children and grandchildren? Thinking about the quirks or advice our grandparents who lived through the depression and WWII passed on to us has me thinking about the next gen

    1. As a product of the recession, I know I have major hang ups about employment stability and surely will pass this on to my kids. Things like, always have your resume ready, do a little extra work so you’re not at the bottom of the stack, always have savings for periods of unemployment.

    2. I refuse to book any material travel expenses (flights, lodging) that doesn’t have a good reschedule or cancellation policy, but have also gotten a lot better at using my PTO to really travel. You never know when things will change!

      1. Yep — I definitely have more of a carpe diem attitude towards travel post-Covid. Our travel budget has probably at least doubled from 2019 to now.

        We have booked some non-refundable travel when it was basically unavoidable (a sailing trip, a safari lodge) but we got travel insurance in those situations. 90% of our travel is refundable at least for future airline credit, which is almost as good as cash to me.

        1. oh 100% agree on the airline credit. I used to consider flying European carriers for specific destinations (like flying Air France to Paris or whatever) but even if it’s a bit more expensive, I know I could reuse AA ticket credit like cash, so stick with them!

    3. Honestly, my life growing up was so safe and stable compared to what my kids and grandkids are going through, I think it is just the opposite – they will have quirks and beliefs formed by their experiences that I wouldn’t have, not having grown up worrying about school shootings, a pandemic, etc.

      1. I am showing my age because we were doing duck and cover drills in anticipation of nuclear war when I was a child. (And not counting on social security surviving the Reagan Administration when I was a teen).

        Every generation has its thing.

    4. I don’t know if this is a quirk but doubling down on sustainable living and relying less on buying consumables/convenience items. For example, we compost our food waste, use cloth diapers (my kids call disposables “fake diapers” lol), use cloth napkins and rags instead of paper products, etc.

      We are planting a vegetable garden this year and my kids are involved in the process, and hopefully will figure out how to have a few chickens soon (we technically live in a city, though our section is more suburban, but its not like we are on a homestead). My kids and I have also been painting their rooms together; we have never hired painters.

      I feel like I have had a very cerebral existence (reading, indoors) and my family of origin is allergic to discomfort (my sister will turn on her AC to make the temperature inside just perfect, even if opening a window would do). I’m trying to give my kids a few more practical skills, along with the sense of achievement of doing things themselves with their own mind and hands — something I am discovering as an adult! Plus, we never had to worry about the diaper shortages during COVID, and even that slight break with consumerism is helpful for reframing needs and wants

    5. I will be advising my son to not factor Social Security payments into retirement planning. 15 years ago, we told our first ever financial advisor not to include it in our retirement projections. I think I was probably right to do that.

      1. as a 38 year old, I’ve already thought and prepared the same for myself.

        it’s likely my civics education was from a place of privilege, but we were taught even in the 90s/00s that SS was on shaky ground and probably wouldn’t exist when we were retiring.

      2. I talked to a retirement planner for the first time last year and was surprised that they told me to calculate in social security. And that was before the election! I’m in my 30s, even if social security survives that long it definitely won’t look like what we’ve got going on today. It’s basically a pyramid scheme that you can’t opt out of at this point.

    6. Get a passport card and carry it with you everywhere just in case. Something I never ever thought was necessary and that I wouldn’t do with a passport because I’d be afraid to lose it.

    7. I don’t think that the things I learned from my grandparents about frugality, diligence, etc., were maladaptive, and I don’t think the things my kids will learn from me are maladaptive, either.

      1. I agree. If anything, the lessons I learned from my grandparents were the ones most suited to fostering contentment — resourcefulness and frugality! It’s the rejection of those qualities that has led to the rat race we find ourselves in now

      2. Guess someone didn’t have a grandma who had cash stages in all sorts of word places all over the house that she could never remember where all of them were. Rather like a squirrel. We found over $10000 in cash randomly around her house after she passed, and that’s money she really could have used.
        Anyway, I’m trying to make sure my kids know how to use paper maps and ask for directions if they’re lost.

        1. My grandma grew up dirt poor but developed coping skills, not anxiety, as a result. She absolutely had cash at home, but she knew where it was (had a ledger). Sorry your grandma just got the anxiety side of things.

    8. I’m an elder millennial and I remember my mom telling me that the standard of living goes up every generation like it was some sort of inevitability. Lol. The below is what I would hope my young kid takes away from me.
      -The greatest wealth you can have is your community.
      -Happiness is fleeting, aim for contentment.
      -Live simply. Consumerism can consume you.
      -Always have a plan B.

    9. I became much more concerned about germs post-COVID and find myself fussing at my kids a lot for touching random surfaces or, separately, touching their faces and mouths. Scarred from the months of impossibility of WFH pregnant and with two young kids at home. And yes I know this isn’t how COVID is spread.

      2. oof go read the story in the NYT about how the flu killed so many people this year, including many under 50.

    10. Specific quirk I have picked up after COVID: make sure I have copies of all the weird proprietary charging cables required by my various gadgets at both home and the office.

    11. vote. vote vote vote vote vote. and try to pay attention to which candidate is an autocratic orange cheeto who will bring about the downfall of american democracy.

  9. Overthinking to the point I have analysis paralysis! Background: Mother of groom for late summer wedding; church service at at noon followed by evening reception/dinner/dancing etc. Dress code is summery cocktail.
    Neither mother wants floor length, but midi to ankle and we have a color palette to work within. I know I want v neck, and either sleeveless or short sleeve, bra-friendly, no high slits and not poofy – I’m a curvy pear and am finding slim fitting dresses suit me better than puffy, which is just adding a lot of bulk.
    I like this a lot; but is it too “summer dress” and not cocktail-y enough?
    https://www.sachinandbabi.com/products/miuccia-dress-navy

    I like the color of this one a lot, but I’m thinking sequin is too much and too heavy for noon wedding, and possibly more nightclub than wedding:
    https://www.nordstrom.com/s/abstract-beaded-sleeveless-midi-sheath-dress/8259527

    This one fit like a dream, but this hot pink is not in the palette:
    https://www.neimanmarcus.com/p/ramy-brook-kallie-floral-embellished-crepe-midi-dress-prod278180019?childItemId=NMT6C3E_&msid=4958616&position=17

    All (kind) advice and ideas welcome and appreciated!

    1. That navy lace looks perfect to me! Airy enough to look appropriate for noon, formal enough to look appropriate for evening.

    2. I actually think the sequin dress is quite tasteful and would work well. I also like the navy and agree with Cat

      1. I will add my vote for the green one! I don’t think the sequins are too heavy at all, and the color and style say “summer cocktail” to me more than the navy one.

        1. OP here – meant to link to the orange/coral version. I love the green, but the orange is the one in the palette (it runs from navy blue/french blue to purple/Dusty pink, then to the orange/coral. Doesn’t sound like it would work, but it does, and I love the flexibility she is giving the moms and bridesmaids.

          1. The orange is gorgeous, especially if it works for your skin tone. I don’t think it reads as heavy or nightclub at all, FWIW.

    3. I like them all! The navy and the green, the most.

      With that much space between the wedding and the evening party, is this a one-dress day or a two-dress day? It’s hard for me to imagine you’re going to be wearing this one dress from 11am (or whenever) straight through from event to event all the way until the end of the evening. Hopefully there’s some down time in more comfortable clothes, and then getting refreshed and dressed up again for the evening?

      I might be tempted to go with two different dresses (maybe even wearing a dress to the evening party that isn’t exactly on color scheme — does it matter, at that point?).

    5. The middle one! I like both the green and the orange, and I think it’s both summery enough for the wedding and evening enough for the reception. I also like the navy lace one. I’m not a fan of the third option.

    7. love all of those options. the ramy brook one does come in black if that’s an option. i think the navy would be my first choice – you can always have fun with accessories like long sparkly earrings, cocktail ring, etc.

      1. Unfortunately, black not an option. Kind of a bummer, because so many great dresses come in black, but I also get why the bride left it out of the palette. Maybe some other great occasion? I would have to have a modesty panel on that dress – the plunge is deep!

    8. I love the navy one best, but I also think the green sequin one would be great. The pink one is nice but the first two are way better IMO.

  10. Has anyone found a reliable fix for static cling with long polyester skirts? A slip makes no difference for me.

    2. I don’t know how reliable it is, but I put hand lotion on my hands and work it in a bit. When it’s at that stage where it’s there’s still some hint of lotion (just a hint– not gloopy), I slide my hands over the inside of the skirt, or the slip, or both. There’s just enough lotion to calm the static, but not enough to damage or stain the fabric.

    3. honestly i’ve tried everything from static guard to hairspray to a variety of slips. My opinion is that some of us somehow generate more static than others. I will say that when the skirt has a sewn in lining i don’t have problems. it’s weird that sewn in liners work when slips don’t. it really sucks that those aren’t as available as the once were.

    4. i remember reading weird stuff about how you can ground yourself (like touch a grounded object). static cling is apparently worse on carpeting and google tells me they make an anti-static wristband. looking up “static cling grounding yourself”, the results also show stuff about wearing shoes with rubber soles at all times… something to try. that’s actually something cobblers do to shoes to make them more comfortable, too.

    5. The only reliable solution I have found is to replace the skirt. Preferably cotton if I want a floaty look, otherwise fabrics with enough weight so the static doesn’t overcome gravity.

  11. If you have two kids who no longer need car seats and LOVE your vehicle, what do you drive?

    My minivan was excellent during the baby and toddler phase because every car seat worked and it could easily hold all of the stuff for road trips. Pack and play? Multiple strollers? Bouncer? Suitcases? No problem!

    Now my minivan is showing its age and I don’t need to get another van. I would love some anecdata.

      1. I miss our Honda CRV so much! We have a BMW sedan now that our kids are bigger and I miss the Honda every single car trip.

      2. CRV — such a spacious second row; comfy for my tall teens and can fit 3 across. Not so big it’s hard to park in a city or for a teen driver.

        1. How much road noise do you hear in the CRV? We’re also shopping for a new car and would love something quieter than what we have now.

    2. We only have one kid, but we frequently drive up to two of her friends. We’ve only had Toyota Camrys and Corollas and we’re very happy with them. Diono boosters go 3 across even in the Corolla.

    3. I love my honda fit. it’s fun to drive, fits a surprising amount of stuff, gets good mileage, and is easy to park because it’s small. they stopped making them so you’ll have to get a used one but they are great!

    4. I love my Honda Passport! More space than my CRV, but it doesn’t have a third row (I don’t need it, didn’t want one). We’re still in the carseat phase (just 1, she’s 5) and even with it back there, the backseat is plenty roomy and comfortable. Can still haul a bunch of stuff in the cargo area.

    5. I had a Honda Odyssey that had all the bells and whistles when my 3 were in car seats. After the transmission went out, I wanted a break from minivan life (and the stigma it has in my area) and went with a 3 row SUV. I have an Infiniti QX60 now, and it’s ok, but not as functional. The third row is very tight and so hard to get into. I’ve previously owned a Tahoe which was great (captains seats in second row made 3rd row access easy) but the price on them has gotten out of hand. Also, the trunk space is minuscule and you’ll find yourself putting groceries in the seats.
      I test drove a Traverse, Mercedes SUV (don’t recall which one), 4Runner, Honda Pilot, Jeep Grand, Acura MDX and the Kia Telluride. All had various things I didn’t like. We have an Audi sedan that works surprisingly well with the kids- they think it looks cool (they call it the bat mobile) and it has a lot of trunk space. In a couple years I’ll probably go back to a minivan for ease of use- between kids friends, roadtrips, aging parents, pets, it’s just the most functional solution. I might do the Odyssey again, or try a different one. We have rented the Pacifica and Sienna on various trips and liked both.

    6. I know you said no more mini-van, but hear me out. As my kids got older, I found a mini-van even more useful. The separate seats so my kids were physically separate, no “he’s in my space:” invaluable.

      2. +1. Mercedes Metris/Vito owner here. It’s downright cavernous. Much more functional than fashionable, but i love it.

          1. It’s bigger than an Odyssey but much smaller than a sprinter. I find it easy to drive, and prior vehicle was a mid-size sedan. You’re high up, but it has a short nose, so visibility is really good.

    8. Acura MDX. Ours has a 3rd row for when we need it. Usually it’s stuffed with sports gear.

  12. Cat issue I haven’t encountered before. I have two kittens under a year old. My back yard backs up to state park land. I have deer fences around part of the yard near the house where I also have a vegetable garden. I’ve started letting the kittens out into the fenced area for a few hours when I’m home. Kittens are chipped. I suppose they could get over the deer fences if they were really determined but they haven’t shown any interest.

    A chipmunk lives under/in my AC unit inside the fence. I have to have the AC unit cleaned out every spring because the chipmunk hibernates in there. He has plenty of other hidey holes all over the place, including outside the fence, but I guess the unit is warmer than the ground in the winter. I don’t particularly love that he’s chosen to live there but he hasn’t caused any damage so far so I haven’t tried to trap and relocate him. There’s another chipmunk on the other half of the yard who mostly lives outside the fence.

    One kitten caught the AC chipmunk and brought it inside — alive — to try to stash in his secret hidden toy stash. The chipmunk, predictably, did not want to stay with the toys. Fortunately it ran back outside.

    I had my last cat for 20 years and he never did anything like this. I’m not really sure what to do about this new kitten/chipmunk feud. Do I hope the AC chipmunk relocates himself outside the fence and away from the kittens? That would be the ideal solution: he can keep most of his territory on his half of the yard but leave my AC unit alone. I would like them to not bring the chipmunk inside the house again; I leave the door open for them so they can come inside to get food/water, use the litter box (they won’t go outside), or when they’re hot or just done for the day. There’s not a lot of shade in the fenced area so I definitely don’t want to lock them outside. Has anyone dealt with this?

      1. Lmao I was just about to type cat gonna cat. If it’s not a chipmunk it’s going to be some other animal they catch like a mouse or bird.

    2. This sounds like the kind of problem that will solve itself in short order. Honestly if your kitten’s teeth or claws broke any skin, the chipmunk may be done for already.

    3. Aren’t cats known for bringing little “presents” home? I think this is normal for cats that are allowed outdoors…

      1. Honestly after 20 years with my last cat, I was pretty convinced it was an urban legend! Or something that only happened with like barn cats that came inside later in life. These kittens have never lived outdoors!

        I didn’t expect them to be Defenders of the Vegetable Garden but I don’t hate it tbh, just so long as they chase things away, not bring things inside.

        1. It is definitely a thing! Your cat will probably present you with a dead bird in your house next.

    4. Chipmunks are evil, destructive bastards once they cultivate a taste for domestic life. One attempting to live in my AC unit would be gone yesterday. I use a bucket trap to avoid introducing poisons to the environment or predators further up the food chain.

      Also, outdoor cats are a risk to the fauna around them, and at risk themselves if anyone in your area has poisoned rodents that the cats then get hold of.

      1. Poisons need to be outlawed.

        The whole point of cats is to be a risk to the fauna around them, which as you point out is appreciated!

    5. I get that this is a legit issue, but the image of your cat bringing a chipmunk inside is so cute! I know it may have been for mealtime but I’m choosing to believe the cat was just trying to protect their chipmunk buddy

    6. Are you sure that the cat brought it in? I’ve had chipmunks make themselves at home in my garage. A door wide open could attract many wildlife.

      1. Yeah we have the kitten on video looking very proud of himself with his little friend/toy in his mouth. At first I thought he might’ve chased the chipmunk inside, which I thought was odd because the chipmunk has lived here since before us and he very much does not want to come indoors or have anything to do with us. I may have, uh, tried to befriend the chipmunk once upon a time. I was not successful.

    7. Over the years, my various cats have brought me gifts of mice, lizards, birds, moths, grasshoppers, snails…

    8. That means your cat loves you! Bringing home gifts of mice, birds, etc. (dead or alive) is the cat expressing affection and trying to provide for you. Be thankful it wasn’t deposited in the middle of your bed! Probably what will happen, if you keep letting the cat out, is the chipmunks will leave and other small animals will avoid your cat’s territory. That doesn’t mean that the cat won’t still catch something and bring it home from time to time.

    9. Gently, and totally up to you, but you might want to reconsider letting the kittens roam outside – cats are a significant threat to bird populations and keeping them indoors can reduce this impact. I had a cat for 21 years, and in her later years she slowed down a lot on the predation and seemed to like hanging out with me in the backyard in the sun for short stretches. But in her younger days, she hunted and killed birds, mice, chipmunks (eating at least one, crunch crunch on the bones, and leaving behind the whole stomach on the ground, pristine and untouched). i miss hearing natural birdsong, as there seems to be less around than when I was younger.

    1. Tipping point to what? Authoritarianism? We’re already there. This has been building structurally for years. DJT is a convenient if chaotic figurehead.

    2. I think the tipping point was a while ago – Trump has openly defied the courts and pledges to continue doing so. But this is damn scary.

      1. She was arrested for allegedly helping an immigrant to evade arrest. A warrant for his arrest was active; he was set to appear in her courtroom on a different matter; and she got wind of the ICE arrest and helped him to escape the courthouse.

        She has already been released.

        1. I don’t even think she helped him escape, I think she gave him sanctuary. The ICE agents apparently did not have a warrant, also.

          1. Reportedly, ICE had an administrative “warrant,” which is not a warrant for arrest issued upon probable cause by a neutral magistrate (which is the constitutional definition of a warrant that is an exception to the Fourth Amendment requirement that the people be secure in their possessions, persons an homes, to paraphrase). This arrest seems to have been a bit of a set-up, over-investigated and with a major PR rollout (including the FBI Director posting on X about it before the records had been unsealed by the court upon her initial appearance in court, then reposted when unsealed). Reportedly, a federal agent rode down the elevator with this “absconding” person, but lost sight of him in the lobby of the federal building. Other agents quickly caught up with him after a foot chase, and detained him.

  14. Has anyone read any books about AI that you’d recommend? I’d like to have a better understanding of how it works, what the potential benefits are, what the risks are, etc. Thanks!

    1. No, I haven’t found any books I find particularly useful because the field is evolving so quickly. (I work in the industry though so my standards for “useful” might be quite different than yours.) There are a lot of good articles or videos that can give you a basic overview. You can also use say, ChatGPT to Grok to give you a primer on AI and it will give you a good foundation.

    2. Just for “how it works,” Stephen Wolfram has a number of blog posts and talks.

    4. I work in marketing, but I find that Christopher S. Penn has some great AI content that goes beyond marketing use cases. He’s a co-founder of a company called Trust Insights, and he has free podcasts, YouTube vids, and detailed newsletters that talk about how he uses different tools for each use case, potential pitfalls of different tools, and some of the legal/ethical/security risks to consider when choosing and using AI tools and models.

    5. This is really late and this is not a book, but I listen to Hard Fork every week, a tech podcast. They talk a lot of about AI and I feel like I get a pretty well rounded understanding of what’s happening.

  15. How long do you go to the gym for? I’m just curious – is it a 30 mins, 45 min, or 1 hr + thing for most people?

    For me it’s 2hrs total to commute to gym, exercise for 30-45 mins, shower, and commute back. This can be shortened by compressing any of those parts

    1. elliptical or treadmill days 30 minutes – 2 days
      weight lifting 1 hour – 2 days
      yoga 1 hour – 1 day
      piyo 1 hour – 1 day

    2. Actual workout: btwn 30-60 minutes
      Commute: if from home, 20 minute drive each way; if from the office, 5 minute walk each way
      If showering at the gym: 15 minutes for a quick rinse before heading back to the office if I’m doing a lite working out over lunch; 40 minutes if I’m fully washing my hair and getting ready for work

    3. 30-minute run out of my house (so no commute) a few days a week
      75-minute yoga class 3-4 days a week. I either walk to the studio (20 mins) or drive (5 mins) if I’m running late.

    4. Can you find a gym closer to home?

      I spend an hour working out. It takes me about 20 minutes to get to the gym, 45 minutes to shower/makeup/dry my hair, and 10 minutes to the office. So in total a little over 2 hours in time spend, but that includes my normal commuting time.

    5. I work out at home, but it’s 30-45 minutes 3-4 times per week, combination of elliptical and weights.

    6. I’m lucky enough to have a great gym at my worksite. My workout is 60-90 minutes, including warmup, weights, and cardio.

  16. to the person yesterday asking about 40 hours of ABA for her daughter – I realized last night my comments may have been confusing because I called it an “opaque therapy” and then said it’s so popular because it’s data driven. we would get huge excel spreadsheets to review with “the team” (VB-Mapp assessments) that allegedly showed strengths and weaknesses in various areas but without anything but barcharts to back it up, and the areas were like “TACT” and “MAND” with levels like M-5. Last night I realized it reminded me of Severance – the work is both mysterious and important.

    1. As the mom from yesterday with 2 children who have ASD, when my son went through ABA I kindly asked them to break down the steps to each goal and then show me the data points.

      I’m mom. I dont have time for complicated. I took their data sheet and translated it for them one time. They all raved about how it was so much easier to follow.

      I’m an economist by trade and my job is working with data to communicate complexity in simple and digestible formats. I have no idea how the average person could follow what they were doing with the data they shared with me.

      The data collection worked a lot better when it was displayed in a better format.

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