Thursday’s Workwear Report: Tie-Waist Midi Dress
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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
If you’re looking for a dress to get you through graduation parties, baby showers, and hot summer days in the office, this one from Nordstrom is it. The short sleeves will keep you cool, and the tie waist gives a great shape, plus it’s machine washable.
I love this rust spice color, but it also comes in black.
The dress is $54.97 and comes in sizes 1X-4X and XXS-XL.
Sales of note for 5/14/25:
- Nordstrom Rack – Looking for a deal on a Dyson hairdryer? The Rack has several refurbished ones for $199-$240 (instead of $400+) — but they're final sale only.
- Ann Taylor – Suit Yourself! 30% off suiting (ends 5/16) + 25% off your full price purchase (ends 5/18) + extra 60% off sale (ends 5/14)
- Talbots – 40% off all markdowns (ends 5/18) + 30% off dresses, skirts, accessories, and shoes
- Nordstrom – Beauty Deals up to 25% off (ends 5/17)
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 25% off
- Boden – 10% off new women's styles with code + sale up to 50% off
- Eloquii – Up to 60% off everything + extra 60% off sale + $1 shipping on all orders
- J.Crew – Up to 50% off long-weekend styles + 50% off select swim and coverups
- J.Crew Factory – Extra 50% off clearance + extra 15% off $100+ + extra 20% off $125+
- M.M.LaFleur – Lots of twill suiting on sale! Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off.
- Rothy's – Up to 50% off last-chance styles
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
I need some fresh music. Anyone have a favorite Spotify playlist to suggest?
I’m all about the spectacle that is Eurovision.
I get a ton of new music from my Discover Weekly, Release Radar, and New Music Friday playlists that change each week. The first two are tailored to you based on your listening patterns. I don’t like every song but I really love a lot!
My husband will listen to to the Spotify DJ, however it is astonishing ho much worse it is compared to the playlists. You’d think they’d use similar algorithms but they just can’t, the DJ is so weird.
Specific current random favs I’ve saved this week:
Wonderful Nothing by Glass Animals
DELUSIONAL. by Kesha
Good Day to Be Alive by Summer Kennedy
lemonade by Maren Morris (love this whole album actually)
A Good Life by Jill Sobule
I realize it’s not terribly current but I just figured out that Bleachers exists and it’s really good if you like sort of Vampire Weekend/REM/War on Drugs-type stuff.
Does anyone have recommendations for an Atlanta family law attorney? I have a toddler and need guidance on UCC JEA. Yeah, I got served the Friday of Mother’s Day weekend after years of fertility treatments.
I have no recommendations but I am so sorry. This sounds extremely hurtful and infuriating.
Love this dress visually; however, I find tie waist dresses to be all day long fiddley.
I love this pick, so pretty.
Well, I found something I agree with RFK Jr on. He made some videos about how “obesity rates being high isn’t because everyone got lazy and gluttonous all of a sudden.” Unfortunately
I don’t think my parents and in-laws will listen to him or anyone else on that; they prefer to stick with the old chestnut that people just need to “make an effort.” I guess they think that every country in the world experienced a sudden spike in sloth and gluttony around the 1980s, never to be undone.
Personally I think it’s car culture and processed foods. People in cities where there is good transit and lots of biking/walking are much slimmer. When I was in the Netherlands last year I went to a rural town where there is car culture and my brain just about malfunctioned seeing fat Dutch people.
Even a broken clock is right twice a day.
This.
I work in Big Pharma, and to say that the last few months since the new administration took office have been an absolute crap show is an understatement.
Between tariffs (my company is foreign-owned, but has several ten thousand employees in the U.S.), and now the announced drug price cuts , it is so much chaos and uncertainty. No one has any idea what the impacts will be. On the other hand, my industry sees many announcements of increased investment in the U.S. – but how will all this work when sales are dramatically impacted by yet to be defined policies?
I am personally the biggest proponent of sensible medical pricing and think that the U.S. healthcare and payment system needs a major overhaul.
But again right now is just disruption, where the administration is throwing around a bunch of EOs and who knows what will stick and who will benefit in the end.
This also may be the rare thing I agree with him about.
i also agree with him that i should not take medical advice from him.
I think that “lazy” is a harsh way of saying that we are nowhere near as active as we used to be or as we need to be. There is a neutral way of saying that.
And “gluttonous” is also unhelpfully harsh. Better to acknowledge that many convenience foods and prepared/restaurant foods are made in unhealthy ways and portion sizes have ballooned.
And add in what I think is a metabolic circularity loop, that once you get larger, everything in your body, hormones, ancient DNA, whatever, is designed to keep you at that new setpoint, so outside of actually starving yourself (with is just a different sort of unhealthy relationship with food), you can get sicker but likely can’t sustainably get smaller.
New meds seem to be the only thing that moves the needle and I think it’s significant how “quieting the food noise” seems to be the key to its success.
But I don’t think that people’s tendency to experience food noise has increased since 1980; it’s more likely that our food changed and that changed food noise.
I will put on my tinfoil hat and state that I don’t think that, in the whole, the American food supply is actually composed of food. Food-like products, yes, but not actual food.
I was fairly shocked at how inexpensive fresh and less-processed food was when we went to France. I know it’s subsidized quite a bit but surely we could splash out for some of that in the US?
That said, the French certainly seem to have a “good-enough” attitude about what constitutes nutritious food. Baguettes made with white flour? Fine. Candy for children? Fine. Putting butter and salt on vegetables? Fine. All would be cause for handwringing in my bougie West LA neighborhood.
As an immigrant from the former Soviet Union, I fully agree with you. Our food was simple and bland but generally recognizable as formerly plant or milk. The bread went stale in one day. Trying to keep up with this objectively very modest standard in the US has been an increasing challenge. The quality and variety of legumes and grains in an average supermarket is low. To get just “cooks evenly, doesn’t turn to goop, kids will eat it” you have to find a specialty store and pay 3+x. At that point it’s cheaper and easier to buy premade food full of preservatives and flavor enhancers than make a pot of buckwheat. And this is from someone who knows what basic food tastes like and enjoys it. If you grew up with the processed option, the idea that you’d have the impetus to go find the perfect lentils in a tiny neighborhood store is unfathomable.
Maybe on the population level this is true, but my family ate worse in the 50s and 60s than we do now. The middle class side of my family ate worse in the sense of everything as prefab as possible, zero concern about getting fiber or avoiding sugar, tons of white flour and margarine and soda and candy. The working class side of my family ate more scratch cooked foods, but, so, so much saturated fat and cured meat (so much ham and bacon and bacon fat). No deliberate exercising, not even walking since neighborhoods weren’t walkable. Now we eat healthy and walk and exercise deliberately and it’s like we’re still doing worse somehow?
Would people need the new meds less if modern foods weren’t blocking endogenous GLP1 production with additives and agricultural pesticides?
I feel like the way our palate works now really favors our caveman preference for rich fatty delicious foods. In a way that is killing us, because it is so abundant. It’s not just in the US — Mexico is more obese than the US, and Saudi Arabia isn’t problem free. These places are all very different.
If you took a North Korean and put them in Ohio with a credit card, a house, and a car, and took them to a Waffle House or Olive Garden or Cheesecake Factory or an Arby’s, in 20 years, they’d have likely made up for lost time.
We weren’t supposed to starve centuries and eons ago and our genes haven’t caught up to a world with Costcos.
But Korean food is way better than any food in Ohio. My ancestors were caveman too, but people drink soda instead of fine wine because they’re poor, not because it tastes better.
But in North Korea, as I understand it, the population has been significantly under- and mal-nourished for decades. Like grown men are the size of my pre-teen due to lack of calories. Cannot imagine what that does to pregnant women and their babies who had initial caloric strains like that.
If the idea is that impoverished starving people will gravitate towards the highest calorie foods, I think the issue is the poverty and food insecurity.
This is a real issue that comes up with social mobility. Eating like you don’t know when you’ll eat again can work against you once you can afford to eat again more often.
I agree that the way our palate works now is making eating hard on people, but I think that a palate that prefers Waffle House, Olive Garden, Cheesecake Factory, or Arby’s over traditional foods is something that’s cultivated by the food industry and not what any cavemen would have chosen.
I think the point she’s trying to make is that you could take the skinniest person and put them in a modern environment and Olive Garden will inevitably make them fat.
I hear that, but it’s also slim pickings if Olive Garden is the most appealing restaurant in town. Palate to me implied choices.
I hope they campaign for active lifestyle choices and get roasted for copying Michelle Obama’s Let’s Move campaign.
School lunch IMO is not where to roll out healthy food that kids won’t eat. For too many kids, that is a main source of calories. And if the food just goes into the trash, it doesn’t matter how good it is. The portion sizes are small. If a kid is active, they can have a tater tot. And at least in elementary school, kids get recess every day. It’s only when they are older (but still half of their school years), that they maybe get weekly gym and no recess (and in high school, PE is one semester only, in all 4 years of high school).
That’s funny because I thought a bunch of his rhetoric was about how Americans are lazy and gluttonous and have no self-control and need to be sent away to work camps.
I am no fan of RFK but he didn’t actually suggest sending people to work camps. Stop it. Lying is not going to help us.
He suggested sending people on ADHD medication to “health farms” that are work camps.
The lazy line is crazy to me. I feel like the harder I’m working at work or when I’m in the toughest spot with childcare, which is also work, my ability to eat healthy and move appropriately takes a hit. And also….we all know this? The rich lady with no job and a nanny makes it to Pilates and stays slim. The 19 year old who lives at home and doesn’t work can obsess over her abs and her calories. We created a situation where health is for the leisure class, then we call the busier people lazy because they’re not slim!
I was surprised that the concept of shirt dresses in the office was so polarizing. Personally, shirt dresses like yesterday AM’s pick seem far more professional and office-appropriate than this t-shirt style jersey dress, which is something I would only consider for a casual weekend brunch with the fam, or maybe as a beach coverup.
I don’t think either of these dresses is *great* for the office. I found the voluminous shirtdress to be a little bit Betty Draper Goes To The City. As for this one, I do wear similar dresses to the office, but they are in a dressier fabric (heavy jersey like a DVF wrap dress). I also think the midi length is not a natural fit for this style as the straight skirt is fighting the drapey tie, and prefer it to hit just below the knee.
If you are doing things at work like christening a ship, yesterday’s shirtdress is a great look. I sit at a chair in a casual office, so it’s a bit too fancy / costumey, but that is how I actually like to dress on a day where it’s not horribly rainy for when I’m outside.
Long skirts, especially full ones, just don’t work for me in a rolling office chair.
I don’t know that I’d call this a t-shirt dress. This at least has some styling and a heavier jersey fabric. I’d wear it to the office.
I think the heavier jersey fabric is key — I hate when people see the outline of my underwear at the waist or leg.
You’re correct, shirt dresses are more formal than t-shirt dresses. But they’re not the equivalent level of formality of a pencil skirt and blouse, or nowadays wide leg pants and a blouse.
I’d call it smart casual. A shirt dresses is my go-to outfit for work functions after hours in the summer. It’s a good conference staple.
“The office” is not a monolith
I think region has a lot to do with what is considered appropriate in an office too. For instance, being the the south in a hot and humid place, we are much more tolerant of sandals and sleevelessness, as well as light fabrics. The shirt dress would be very appropriate in many, if not most, environments.
Yesterday’s shirt dress, especially with the fullness of the skirt, reminds me of something my stay-at-home mom would have worn to a weekend gathering in the ‘80s. Today’s pick, while not business formal, is a bit sleeker and something I would feel comfortable wearing to the office in black.
I loved yesterday’s pick!
I would never wear this dress to work, and I work in a casual industry on the west coast.
This dress would never look good on me, but if it did I’d wear it to my business casual office that is 80+ degrees in the summer. Lightweight dresses or linen pants are the only way to survive the sweltering heat.
Hi! does anyone have a recommendation for a career coach who works with in-house attorneys? I’m currently a VP in-house attorney. my boss’ role (SVP) is opening up. VP is a mix of a doer and a leader whereas SVP is 100% leading. I would like to work with someone to ensure my resume and interviewing skills are where they need to be for SVP level. I’m very excited about this opportunity and want to secure this promotion. thank you in advance!
As an EVP in that role, I’d suggest networking over coaches. That level isn’t about getting an interview answer right, it’s about having internal support. I’d spend my time amping up my internal connections and talking with people who may influence the decision. Good luck!
+1, you want your would-be peers and their EVP managers to have your current grand-boss’s ear about how great you would be.
Coaches help with that stuff, too. It’s not all job searching and resume reviews. Having a coherent goal and identifying strategic actions that can move the needle for your goals, strategies, preferences, situational details, etc., is what a coach will facilitate.
Mentorship or guidance–advice–can do that too, but it’s done to the limit of someone else’s experiences, preferences, lenses, situational details, etc.
(to be clear: I heartily agree with 9:48 that the likely avenue up in this situation is through relationships, not applications. My point was simply that a coach can help with that stuff, too)
But aren’t the coach’s suggestions also limited in some way? I struggle to see the value of a coach over someone with direct experience at the company.
Seth Weissman is fantastic. Former GC, he gets it. Highly recommend.
My hair dryer is dying. I haven’t bought a new one in almost 10 years. What are your recommendations? I have medium length hair that I blow dry every day/every other day.
The shark is amazing. I can’t believe it took me so long to get one.
Hands down the shark wins. I have a dyson, and like it, but my hairstylist uses the shark now and if my dyson dies, I’m switching.
Which one, specifically? I’m seeing a bunch when I search.
My stylist uses the speedstyle pro. It’s very light, feels balanced in your hand, and the controls are well designed. I have thick hair that can take a loooong time to dry, and the shark and dyson both cut the time by half.
another vote for the shark!
mine is 4 or 5 years old, this is what amazon says i ordered: Shark HD120BRN Blow Dryer HyperAIR Fast-Drying with IQ 2-in-1 Concentrator
I have the Babyliss Pro Nano Titanium dryer and like it very much.
I like the Drybar Mini Buttercup! I’ve used it like 3x a week for 6 years. The handle is foldable so that has started to wear over the last year (the 2 halves of plastic snap apart when you unfold it, just firmly hold the handle so they can’t come apart). If you don’t fold it after every use then it’ll last longer (maybe I should do that…).
Its also light weight and travels easily, dries my long but fine hair in ~10 minutes. If weight and storability aren’t concerns, the normal sized Buttercup would work too.
Shark, hands down. If you might want to travel with it get the foldable version.
Which shark dryer though? There are choices to be made (not the OP, but my dryer has made a grinding noise lately and since I bought it pre-covid, I’m pretty sure the end may be near).
SpeedStyle Pro Flex, and for my fine, thick, wavy hair, the diffuser attachment.
I bought the whole bundle because I thought I would use several of the other attachments and don’t, other than one initial session playing with them. It wasn’t that much more than just picking three attachments, though.
I am a fan of this Babyliss. My first one lasted 10+ years.
https://www.amazon.com/BaBylissPRO-BX2000-Ceramix-Xtreme-Dryer/dp/B08FP1D431?ref_=pb_hm_dp&th=1&psc=1
GHD, worth every penny.
This one has been so good
https://www.nordstrom.com/s/7561803?color=650&size=one%20size
I hate drying my hair with a regular blow dryer. It never looks like a style when I’m done.
This brush style has a heated plate that works like a straightener/smoother as you dry your hair. It’s so much better and easier than my old blow drier (which is also a T3 and still going strong after 10+ years)
What do you think makes a weekend actually feel restorative, fulfilling, refreshing, etc.? I feel like my weekends lately haven’t felt like enough of a break so I’m trying to be more intentional about how I spend them. I’m sure this is a common problem so I’m curious about how other people think about this.
I need a mix of overall types of weekends, but in general, I need some outside time and time away from screens since I am on my laptop all day at work! I rotate through about 4 “types”- too many of one kind in a row and it’s either boring or Jesus Take the Wheel if we travel too many in a row and then are having to do more life maintenance stuff squeezed into mornings and evenings during the week.
– homebody weekend; catch up on little house projects, tend garden, go for a long walk or bike ride, but no big plans
– ‘plans’ weekend where one day we spend time with family or friends (ours are scattered around the area at this point, so it usually takes up a full half-day to see people for a meal) and the other we chill and do our usual weekend errands
– productive weekend – further flung errands, larger projects, etc
– travel weekend – like shore weekends in summer, or a quick dash down to FL for some sun in winter
A mix of doing things and relaxing. No errands.
Waking up early Saturday morning and going for a long walk in a pretty garden always starts my weekend off right. I try and spend some time reading a paper book. I always change my sheets on Sunday. And I get my groceries delivered every Sunday morning.
I try to fit in a balance of time with friends, time in nature, and time being productive (lately, that productivity time has been gardening). I also love cooking a more elaborate dinner and enjoying it with my family.
Spending time in nature and taking risks. You’ll be a million times more refreshed after taking a surf lesson followed by lunch with your friends compared to yet another weekend of errands and “puttering.”
But if the errands and cleaning don’t get done, you will be scattered and stressed out all week. Weekends filled with leisure activities are for rich people with house cleaners.
Yes, being rich and having house cleaners can make weekends feel restorative, fulfilling, refreshing.
You’re responding to my comment and we don’t have a house cleaner. We live in a small 2-bed apartment that hasn’t been updated since 1963. It’s all about attitude.
We do the majority of our errands/cleaning during the week – no house cleaner. I’d say errands/cleaning on the weekend are limited to a max of 1 hour total. I’m excluding walking the dog from this because we usually combine it with a family outdoor outing (e.g., hiking) or I enjoy walking the dog and listening to a podcast.
This is probably easier because I live in a small apartment in a major city – so minimal cleaning and I can walk 5 minutes to the grocery store, dry cleaners, pharmacy, hardware store, etc.
I also just don’t do a lot of things that other people do that seem to take a lot of time (meal prep is one that jumps to mind).
+1 to no meal prep. No better way to kill a Sunday and be annoyed by Monday morning.
I’m definitely the opposite! Meal prep on Sunday morning would be good for me and make me feel so much better on Monday morning.
Right! I do a bit of meal prep but leisurely cooking is enjoyable to me. I do skip many other errands (dry cleaners, salons, never more than grocery trip per week).
I’m not a risks person but for me a museum or a day trip to a historic home is more fulfilling than puttering.
I agree, I just am not into “risks” or extreme sports like some posters. I love a garden or museum, though.
Doing something out of the ordinary or spending time in nature. I find my weekends to be much more restorative during the warmer months for this reason.
Skiing in winter is the way to keep that going year round. Nothing is better for restoring the spirit; I like who I am and how I act the weekends we ski.
Unfortunately, I live in the middle of the country with nary a ski hill to be found. And lately, our snowfall has been so inconsistent that even things like cross country skiing or ice skating are very hit or miss.
Similar boat here. When there isn’t enough snow for snowshoeing, we go winter hiking on the snowshoe trails. I still use my snowshoe poles and wear trail runners with cleats for grip.
I’m also Team Winter, though not a skier. I love being outside in the cold and snow, and despise the sun, heat, humidity, and bug bites. Summer is just an ordeal to survive until I can really be outside again, but luckily it’s short where I live.
Same. Most of my summer vacations are as close to the arctic circle as I can get.
I love skiing but alas our winters are cold and gross but not cold enough for snow
For me, it’s not setting an alarm for at least one of the days off. I may not sleep in, but getting up on my own really helps
+1
I like to feel like I accomplished something. It’s easier to achieve a sense of accomplishment if I set goals for myself. For example, if I spend all weekend lounging and reading a book then at the end of the weekend I feel a bit like I wasted my time. But if I tell myself ahead of time that my goal for the weekend is to finally make some progress on the book that’s been collecting dust on my bedside table for weeks, I’ll feel like I did a good job of managing my time. Sometimes it just takes a mindset shift.
Do as many chores and errands during the week as possible.
This is the way.
My hack for a good weekend is to have plans Friday night. I think it’s because it makes my weekend feel longer? If I go out Friday night, even if the rest of the weekend is housework, errands, and lounging, I start the new week feeling refreshed.
I’ve noticed this too. Friday is usually my worst day at work so I’m completely exhausted by the time I get home. But last Friday, surprisingly no one thought the sky was falling and I was able to beg off work around 3:30. I went to an outdoor market and spontaneously caught up with friends. It felt like a three day weekend. It’s amazing how “big” a little bit of found time can feel.
Some combination of:
– having plans for Friday, even if it’s just takeout and a movie at home
– waking up early on Saturday and getting out of the house
– spending time outdoors
– reading for fun instead of for work
Not being on my phone or watching tv. I actually do like to spend some time on weekends doing chores that make me feel like my house is clean and my life is in order to start the following week. Getting outside. Doing a hobby I don’t have much time for during the week.
Doing something active outside, seeing friends or family (voluntarily, not being summoned), having a mix of activities and time to relax at home, eating good food, getting enough sleep, minimal driving in traffic, making sure my apartment is clean and I have groceries for the upcoming week.
Not having to do any chores. Unfortunately, I haven’t really found a way to accomplish this. I agree with that meme that the weekends need to be 3 days: 1 for chores, one for some active activity, and one to just rest.
I’m looking for a softer racerback bra to wear with tanks this summer. Any favorites? I’m a 38D.
at that size i think almost anything would work like Champion or Athleta. I’m a 38F and my problem with those is always my boobs being cut in half.
Anyone want to help me fix my life?
The good: Close friends and family nearby. Lots of strong relationships and involved in my community. Great job I love with awesome coworkers, good pay, flexibility, and 100% remote (yes, I know this is a unicorn job and I am so, so grateful). I feel like I have the foundation for a good life, but…
The bad: The last few years were terrible personally (and that’s not even considering the pandemic) and I feel like I’m just coming up for air. Several terrible work situations in rapid succession. Serious health issues that are thankfully resolved now, but when I was dealing with them I had to really retreat from my life. I gained a lot of weight from sad nighttime snacking because chips and ice cream offered a quick hit of pleasure when I couldn’t find any in my day. Now I don’t recognize myself when I look in the mirror. I haven’t dated in years. I look old and tired.
I don’t know where to start. I feel so ashamed about the solo evening eating. I’ll stop for a few weeks, but then after a hard day I’ll fall right back into it. My life is so much better than it was during the harder times, but it’s like I don’t trust it anymore because I’ve seen how quickly everything can fall apart. So then it’s back to Netflix and my hand in a bag of chips.
I feel like people understand drinking, drugs, overspending, but this is so embarrassing as a vice. It’s also always readily available to me when nothing else works. And I live alone so I do it alone, late at night.
I hate getting dressed in the morning because my closet is full of clothes from the last few years when my size fluctuated. Shopping for clothes is a nightmare. I don’t want to face being the size and shape that I am. I gained weight very unevenly so it’s almost all in my stomach, which means buying pants or jeans is almost impossible, and I just want to hide in big flowy tentlike dresses.
I’ve seen my regular doctor and I’m healthy except for being overweight. I already see a therapist. I don’t know what else to do. Can anyone help? I feel so alone and embarrassed. I want to start actually living my life, not sitting at home sadly numbing myself from it.
I don’t know that I have any great advice, but I want you to know that you’re not alone in struggling with emotional eating. I also feel dumb for having it as a vice when life goes sideways, though I recognize that shame doesn’t do us any good!
I agree with this comment! And you’re not alone, I’m in the same boat. These past years have piled up a lot of stress and overeating is definitely a stress response.
I also wonder about your job, and whether you’ve normalized the stress from it. I say this because there may be a conflict in the I love my job sentiment and the “several terrible work situations on rapid succession.” I also say this as someone who thought my job was amazing until I changed jobs and only then did I realize how dysfunctional my old job was.
Can you go into an office? I really think being around people helps so much. It’s so easy to just be home and never leave the house or interact with people when you’re working remotely. I’d start there. Also, don’t punish yourself, buy some clothes you like. Set up some friend dates. It sounds like you’re missing human connection.
I belong to a coworking space and I try to go three days a week, but everyone is just silent on their laptops and there is zero interaction. I get there and I wonder, why am I even here?
It’s a bit odd because they have a cafe with an espresso bar but no actual just… coffee station where people can fill up coffee and chat like they would at an office, so I think that’s partly what’s missing. I had hoped they would do more events to foster community.
On the clothes front, buy clothes that fit. Solidarity because I also gained weight and tried to squeeze myself into old clothes but at some point I accepted that I need to go up a size or more realistically two, and sure maybe I’ll get super in shape soon but in the meantime I look so much better in stuff my size, and as an added bonus I can breethe normally.
+1
Buy clothes that fit. You’ll feel so much better.
Echoing buying clothes that fit. When I had to return to the office after five years at home, wearing pants that were even just a little too tight made my day ten times worse. I now only wear work pants with elastic in the back and it’s made a huge difference.
i also struggle with using food for that endorphin fix. for me it started shortly after my wedding while i was studying for the bar exam in coffee shops, eating pastries in lieu of meals and eating pints of ice cream or jars of nutella in a day. while im safer if it’s not in the house, i’ve also gone out of my way to buy things. have you tried medication? have you talked to your therapist about this? do you exercise at all? have somethign else you can do with your hands at night?
I’ve been there. Re looking old, drink more water and add an electrolyte packet once a day. It’s amazing how much more refreshed we look when we’re not dehydrated.
Don’t buy easy to grab snacks. Do have snacks on hand that take a little effort to assemble. It helps me to figure out when I’m truly hungry vs bored. My favorite snack is plain Greek yogurt with berries and a little homemade granola (kept in the freezer). It takes under 10 minutes to put together, and none of the components is something that I’d really want to mindlessly snack on.
Buy stretchy pants. At one point I was in maternity jeans to accommodate my belly. No one can tell, just focus on wearing something comfortable.
Start exercising at home, even if it’s just a 10 minute walk outside or stretching or hand weights. Using your body will make you like it more, especially as you see progress over time.
Are you exercising? I’m always much happier with my life if I’m exercising regularly, preferably outside. You might be more into something social, like a class. It doesn’t really matter what you do, just that you enjoy it, and for me it also really helps if it’s part of a routine, at the same time every day or some other regular schedule so I don’t have to think about it too much. It doesn’t have to be hard, just go for a walk or dance or stretch if you’re not up for more than that, just get in the habit of moving your body so that it no longer feels so alien from you and you get physical satisfaction from something besides eating. And definitely buy some clothes that fit, it’s miserable to wear too small pants!
Just take wegovy. You don’t need to torment yourself when there’s great medical help available. And pick up some sort of evening activity that gets you out of the house once or twice a week
I wouldn’t recommend a drug that can have serious side effects and requires the person to be on it for the rest of their life in order for them to feel better in their skin.
tell me you’ve never taken a glp1 without telling me you’ve never taken a glp1…
OP, GLP1s are LIFE CHANGING. I am down 50 lbs in a year. I am running 3 miles twice a week and weightlifting twice a week. I am overjoyed to be able to feel like myself again. I pay OOP for the compounded version and have not a single regret.
The problem right now is that your brain doesn’t think there’s anything better than snacking late at night — your brain can’t find the right trade-off. (The whole “just don’t buy that kind of food” crowd has never dealt with this kind of food noise. Ignore them.) The solution is to hack your brain on an interim basis!
+1 I hate to go straight to GLP1s, but OP seems like the perfect candidate for it. Life changing.
I am not heavy enough to qualify. I am overweight but not obese. Already discussed it with my doctor, alas.
You can get the prescription from a doctor online. I understand if it’s not something you are comfortable with, but your post sounded exactly where I was 2 years ago. My life has done a 180 for the better.
Same. It truly changed my life
I did this just a couple weeks ago and already feel different. I haven’t lost any weight but I have stopped the snacking and my cravings for sugar have disappeared.
I also wanted to add–get the Zepbound–it works better than Wegovy, fewer side effects. I lost 20 lbs over four months a year ago. And I lost another ten by upping my step count and doing some minimal at-home weight training. And then I didn’t take it all for a year. It truly reset my food noise, my eating, and my self-confidence. I got my compounded from Mobile Care LLC out of Denver (they do virtual visits). My housemate at the time was a compounding pharmacist and she checked the pharmacy they use and was comfortable with it. (I was very sketched out by compounding.)
It is not an exaggeration to say that this gave me my mojo back after having a really f-ed up relationship with food for all the reasons you said–job stress, personal issues/death in the family…food was my comfort.
The zepbound got me to get up and go walking, make an actual goal (not hand wavy “someday I’ll be better” promises to myself) and helped me get back to a size of clothes that fit my shape and made me feel better. My face is thinner. I look younger. I am glad I did it.
Hugs to you–a slump is not permanent unless you let it be. Get up, get out there, and if your own doc won’t give you a GLP-1, you can get one. The price of the GLP-1 was not a lot compared to how much I had spent on clothes that I hated. Worth it. Again, hugs. You are not broken, but you might just need a little kickstart. I did, and I’m not ashamed of it whatsoever.
you haven’t taken it since? i’m impressed!
Background: My weight has fluctuated my entire adult life. The only time I was successful in losing weight and being around a size 10/12 was when I was eating below 900 calories per day and suffering from anorexia. I’m now a 16/18 and trying to feel at home in my body.
Your body, in whatever shape it is, is a wonder. It has gotten you to this stage in life and allows you to do many things.
Here’s what I do to feel better in my skin:
1) Move regularly. I take an adult ballet class 2x a week and walk daily (either in the city or with my dog).
2) Aim for balance in your meals/snacks. We do better when our meals and snacks are balanced. Adding some fiber (like fruit or veggies) to your evening snack will fill you up more and do great things for your blood sugar.
3) Find things you love. My therapist recommended the adult ballet class when I said I was feeling unfulfilled outside of work. She asked what I loved to do as a child and it was ballet. What did you love to do when you were little?
4) Get clothes that fit! You can buy them secondhand if you don’t want to blow your budget. Get a nice haircut, do your makeup if you like to (even on an at home day), put on perfume, etc. Having clothes that fit and feeling like you look nice (regardless of your size) is a huge pick me up.
Whenever I don’t feel great in my skin, I make sure my outfit is amazing and my hair/makeup look nice. My ballet class reminds me that, even though my body isn’t where I thought it would be, it can still move and dance with the best of them. And I try to remember that, when I was anorexic, my hair was falling out, my skin was terrible, and I was so focused on food it overshadowed the rest of my life. I don’t want to live my life like that.
I love this comment. Thank you for the positivity. I’m not the OP, but GO YOU!!! This is great.
Buy a nice, flattering capsule wardrobe for now. (When I was pregnant, I hated my shape – please don’t judge – and buying really lovely clothes helped me far more than I expected.)
If you can afford it, personal trainer a gym. Join workout classes. Take Pilates. Join a run/walk club. Having that stuff on your schedule helps a lot, and the endorphins are a game changer.
As for food? No advice except… Talenti gelato. It’s made with less crap than other sweets and a small amount is satisfying. I’m convinced that weight gain isn’t just calories in; it’s what type of calories.
Easy, here’s your plan: get a dog, get some clothes that fit and you love, and a cut and color. The last two are immediate feel better items, the dog will get you out of the house, exercising, meeting people and will love you. They also judge for midnight snacks so you will stop having them.
I actually really like this plan. OP, you need a buddy/wingman.
Also, your dog maybe your snacks.
My cat judges me for late night snacks when I don’t also give her treats.
This is a great plan. If you can’t get a dog (I couldn’t in this situation), I’d sign up for an evening exercise class to change the pattern of your days and also get some exercise and let you meet people. It doesn’t have to be super intense at all – for me, a low impact class clearly geared towards women older than me was magical when I was at a low place.
Been there! You are not alone!!! A few things that helped me:
1. I highly, highly recommend working with a therapist or dietitian who has experience working with people with binge eating disorder. The shame spiral is hard to explain to someone who hasn’t experienced it and finding someone who understood was life-changing.
2. Find some influencers with similar body types and use them for inspiration for buying a few things that make you feel good. From your description, it sounds like the My Sister Made Me Buy It account might be good for you?
3. If you can find a way to move your body that you don’t hate, that would be wonderful. Ideally, something that gets you out of the house and maybe even interacting with other people. I recruited a few friends of mine to try out free classes at a bunch of local gyms and we were all surprised when we found something we actually enjoyed doing. But, if you feel like you’re at a point where trying to incorporate exercise is just going to make you feel worse, give yourself permission to put a pause on that for a few months. You don’t need extra shame weighing on you.
4. Find a way to be of service to someone who needs it on regular basis. Maybe you can walk dogs at a shelter once week or make a standing appointment to visit an elderly family member. I know it’s hard to pour from an empty cup, but nothing gets me out of my own head more than helping others, especially if it can be done in small doses!
It sounds like you’ve overcome a lot. You’re still healing and deserve to be as gentle with yourself during this period of time as you were during the period when you were sick.
Therapy!
put on some fun dance music and go for a walk, especially if it’s sunny
make an appointment with yourself on the weekend or during your lunch hour to sit outside somewhere and people watch
for nighttime snacking – i try to go to bed early on nights when i’ve got racoon-mode activated. i also like sweet teas like those from Red Rose (they do have sweetener added though so fyi).
if you can, also, forgive yourself. what would you tell a friend in this situation? would you accept/keep a friend who constantly said negative things to you? try to be your own friend here.
This was/is me, in every way. The things that helped were:
-going on a GLP1. I did not qualify under my health insurance so I got it elsewhere. It’s not cheap but I consider it an investment in my health. I have lost the weight over 1.5 years, come off my statin and pre-diabetic drugs, and all my health numbers have improved. I am okay staying on it at a lower (and therefore cheaper) dose if necessary, especially because I now do not need to take two other meds long term.
-exercising every day if possible. I have noticed as I age that my mental health is improved far more by exercise then it ever was in the past. Sometimes this is just a 20 minute walk outside (weather permitting) or on the treadmill.
-I made a goal of getting out of the house just 1x week during the week to a yoga class. This can be anything you enjoy, it does not have to be exercise. Just something to get out of the house 1x week. This often led to me getting out and doing something more than 1x week, but I was fine with 1x week. I found working from home, I really needed this.
-Make plans for the weekends, ideally with friends or family. But not too many plans. I need downtime to just lay around and read or watch TV. Sometimes the plans were just a bigger chore I had to get done in my home.
I hope this helps you, as it did help me to get out of the long term rut I was in.
Good for you for surviving this difficult period! You are very much not alone in seeking comfort in food. In the past, I found a 12 step group, Overeaters Anonymous, helpful in dealing with compulsive eating. It isn’t perfect, and you’ll find a range of people there–some dealing with binge eating or bulimia or other eating disorders, others more borderline disordered eating–but it might be helpful for you in dealing with the shame you are experiencing.
Taking up some form of exercise that you enjoy would also likely be helpful for your mental and physical health.
Beyond that – what could you add to your life to bring you more joy? Is there a class you would like to take, a hobby you want to try? Could you use more friends? It is great that you recognize that your eating habits are a symptom, not the problem. Fat people can have wonderful lives too. So what would a happy life look like for you, regardless of your weight? What can you do to cultivate that?
If it were me, I’d try and find a different outlet for whatever emotions the eating is filling. If probably sign up for an evening yoga class or something, or get a dog as someone else suggested. You change your buying habits so that you have to go out of the house for your bag of chips or point of ice cream. And if you do want to go get some, no Shane progress isn’t linear and snacking isn’t immoral. It’s just a habit you’re trying to replace.
And really, the most important thing is to be kind to yourself through this process. This isn’t a punishment for your bad behavior, this is a recognition that you were getting through some hard times and now you’re trying to grow into habits that you’ll enjoy more and will make you feel better. If it isn’t making you feel better, you’re not going to do it.
I also can’t avoid the evening snacking so I move the decision point to the store. If I really want something I just pop out and buy an individual size but I don’t keep chips, ice cream etc on hand. Air popped popcorn is a great alternative to have around.
Try and new activity and meet new people. New art class or sport or music instrument? Something to be excited about and focus on.
Rather than getting a dog, maybe think about pet sitting. Then you have more freedom. It’s hard to find pet sitters who only take one pet at a time and don’t already have pets.
Yeah, I am a snacker and smartfood popcorn is my go-to.
OP – so, SO many people struggle with emotional eating. You are absolutely not alone. Big hugs to you. Better days are right around the corner.
Workout. Hard.
Is there a word for fit and flare dresses where the flare starts not immediately below the bust, but a little lower? I’d like a dress where the waist matches my waist, which i guess is lower than most people.
Drop waist
drop waists are usually straight to the hip so they definitely won’t match her waist
a fit and flare look DOES start at the waist — empire wais, a-line, and trapeze dresses start higher.
https://www.moodfabrics.com/blog/all-about-dress-silhouettes/
A line vs fit and flare could be the issue. So what I want is fit and flare then
I think that there are some Big4 and other accounting types here. My sister just got into a big state school from a waitlist, but as a pre-business major. Our understanding is that this means that she isn’t guaranteed a spot in the accounting program, so she is likely not to be an accounting major or to be able to take the CPA or get various summer internships that seem key to getting your foot in the door. She could, however, be a marketing major or something like that.
She also got into a small college an hour outside of our city at close to a full ride. She could be an accounting major there, and be eligible to take the CPA exam, but it’s so small that maybe it is much harder to get a job. She was initially happy to get this, but now is questioning it in light of the waitlist situation.
WWYD? I’m not sure that State U takes transfers into these hard-to-get majors (or that accounting is like nursing where if you pass the licensing exam, you can get a job where you apply and just start working b/c there is a scarcity). I am going to law school now b/c (haha) I am not a numbers person, nor are any of my friends.
She’s best off talking to someone at the school about the major.
Thanks — she’s in school during the day and in some exams, so she’s not readily available when people may hopefully call her back. She’s worried (rightly so) that someone in admissions may tell her an answer based on what they think and it’s not a binding commitment or how it really works or there are some nuances to “there are limited spots and it’s based on grades” works in reality or lacks candor or helpful data (like we have 80 spots and 500 pre-business majors). I was a history major, so it’s not like there were limits or anything but declaring that this is your major and then taking/passing the classes (which were abundant). Going a 5th year or not finishing a degree with an employable major weren’t on the menu.
FWIW, many accounting programs used to be five year masters/undergrad combos to get the 150 credits for the CPA exam.
My advice might be outdated, but she needs to get an advisor within the business school and be clear that her goal is to finish her undergrad in accounting in four years. From there, she should map put if she’s able to be enrolled in the right classes starting her first semester. If she can’t enroll in the pre-reqs, can she transfer them in from a community college (or another affiliated campus?). Summer classes starting in a few weeks to check some econ or intro accounting might need to happen to get on course.
CPA and ex big 4 auditor.
You need credits not degrees to get your CPA. A lot of the accounting credits can be done at community college, which is what I did. Becker is great and will get her through the exams when the time comes, which I recommend her doing, because it always gives you options.
My advice is to focus on data analytics and behavioral psychology. After graduation go work on the advisory side and after 1 year start preparing for the GMAT with the focus to get into a top tier MBA (Wharton, Yale, Harvard, Columbia, Stanford with 2nd tier being NYU and Cornell) program or Masters. Management consulting has much more fun stuff going on and will help build a better, stronger career.
I don’t think you need advice from someone at a Big4 for what you’ve posted here. She should take the close to full ride scholarship if the alternative is funding school through loans. The fact that she has a clear plan for what she wants to do afterwards is just icing on the cake.
OP here — it’s private collate with nice scholarship vs State U (in-state), so State U is in-budget per our parents. It’s more opportunities coming out as a business major (not in accounting though, maybe if she is at the tippy-top, but as a waitlisted student, she isn’t confident that she’d do that well) vs being an actual accounting major at a small college that is mid-tier (not a place like Haverford or Davidson). She feels like it matters, but she isn’t confident how these fields really work IRL vs the glossy brochures.
Take the free tuition and save the money for grad school.
Take the free tuition!!
Where does she want to go though? Has she visited both campuses? The vibe at State U vs Small College is probably very different.
are you comfortable sharing the names of the schools? what is the recruiting pipeline for accounting at the smaller school? she should contact the career center there and look up what alumni do and where they go on LinkedIn. is she 150% sure she wants to do accounting? is big4 the goal? while its great she is thinking about her long-term goals, are there other things about the schools of importance to her?
+1 on the recruiting pipeline. MY DD went to a small school, about 5,000 students, that had a very good accounting program. Due to the recruiting pipeline, she had a Big 4 post-graduation job offer before she even started her senior year. She also did a semester abroad which is nearly impossible for accounting majors. Because it was a small school, they were flexible and made accommodations to her class schedule, and they did the same for her friend who was in the nursing program.
If the cost is equal, I would decide on the basis of whether she wants a small-school experience or a big-school experience. I’ve done both. For a student who is there to get a degree and learn things and make connections with professors (as opposed to a student who’s just there to party and go to football games), a small school will generally provide much more opportunity.
This is interesting — my college was 5000 students. I feel that that is small-school. [And yet I partied a LOT.] I am not sure what I would have gotten out of a big school for undergrad in light of that. I went to a HUGE school for grad school (NYU) and felt that it was a very frosty transactional relationship (and my best profs were adjuncts, so not full-time on campus or with much in the way of office hours). So maybe small school is where it’s at for undergrad? Big school sorority rush seems so overwhelming — I’m imagining that a college party school party scene is nothing compared to huge schools (where maybe it would have been that I was on the studious part of a larger swath of people).
Since the topic of vaccines came up here a few times in the last days:
Any primary care provider should be able to order measles titers.
I did the blood test recently, since my vaccinations were from the 80s in a Eastern European country. While I do still have my original vaccination booklets and it always makes for an interesting conversation with doctors, it is very hard to judge whether the vaccine administered would be comparable to today’s Western standards etc.
My test showed I have significant antibody levels, so I was glad to know that – especially since we have a new baby in our extended family which I’m intending to visit in the summer.
Many insurances pay for this lab test if it’s ordered by a physician with a relevant code. I paid maybe 5 USD after insurance with my plan.
Also, I got a Tdap shot after 9 years (one year before the next one was formally due), because who knows what vaccination coverage and availability will look like under the new administration.
Anecdotally, my family doctor told me that after the administration change, so many people are checking their vaccination status and getting shots, at least where I live. The nurse administering my shot said they had a line of nurses in front of the vaccination fridge already when she looked to get my injection.
my GYN said everyone is getting new IUDs now!
Your post reminds me of all the funny looks when my US doctors have to sort through my vaccine booklet (all in french) and when my middle aged self still makes them write down the non-annual vaccines on the back pages. Also, among my many confusions about the US is the lack of the vaccine booklets.
I had a booklet, but it was stolen when I lived outside of the US. My recreated ones are all in my mom’s handwriting and all stamped / noted by the doctor’s office with the same date. Since I’ve been >18 though, I think I’ve just had COVID and Tetanus and whatever has whooping cough vaccine in it (and annual flu shots). Is there anything else out there I should get?
Depends on your age and other conditions. I got Pneumococcus on the recommendation of my physician since I have asthma, and will get the shingles vaccine once I turn 50.
You can check the recommended adult vaccine schedule here:
https://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/imz-schedules/adult-easyread.html
I will also get travel vaccines as needed – got typhoid fever and Japanese encephalitis vaccines due to travel in endemic areas. If I lived in an area with lots of tick-borne disease, I might consider adding the TBE/FSME vaccine.
You’re confused as to why a single hard copy version of important health records is not more widespread?
I guess everyone finds different things practical. Keeping track in a record in my possession is reasonable to me given that with every job change you potentially switch healthcare providers, and over time your records will be scattered unless you are self organized or the providers are good about porting over your records when you join. The COVID vaccine cards made sense for the first year, although my provider isn’t using them now.
Measles titers are not necessary or recommended for most adults who were vaccinated in the USA. Doing what evidence-based medicine suggests is appropriate is still the right thing, even when there is noise creating non-evidence-based-based fear.
MMR vaccine recommendations are actually more nuanced, depending on the age you were vaccinated, and the vaccine administered. For people outside the U.S. or immigrants, it may look again different.
https://www.cdc.gov/measles/vaccines/index.html
https://www.cdc.gov/vaccines/imz-schedules/adult-easyread.html
From the first source:
“People vaccinated prior to 1968 with either inactivated (killed) measles vaccine or measles vaccine of unknown type should be revaccinated. They should get at least 1 dose of live attenuated measles vaccine. This recommendation is intended to protect those who may have received killed measles vaccine. This vaccine was available in 1963–1967 and was not effective.”
“If you’re unsure whether you’ve been vaccinated, you should first try to find your vaccination records. If you don’t have written documentation of MMR vaccine, you should get vaccinated, especially if you’re traveling internationally.
The MMR vaccine is safe. There’s no harm in getting another dose if you may already be immune to measles, mumps, or rubella.”
1968 was 57 years ago. Since this is a place for working age people, I would imagine there are very few people here that that language applies to, but that’s why I said “most adults.”
Well, it may be useful information for those of us who have family or friends in that age group. We post about eldercare, childcare and other topics here, so do you think we should stop that just because it doesn’t directly concern “working age people” here?
Also, people work beyond age 65 for various reasons…
It will be a standard part of a routine checkup, as their EMR will flag it based on their age.
Fair enough, but many employers still require them of healthcare workers, so it’s not the end of the world to be as vaccinated as a healthcare worker either.
I’d usually be right there with you on evidence based medicine, but given the new administration’s chaos and obvious signaling, ensuring you’re as up to date as possible makes some sense to me.
That is precisely what I’m saying you should avoid. You are letting fear and chaos override logic and evidence.
Do you really think the risks of a potentially unnecessary MMR booster are higher than even a slight risk of obstructed access to vaccines and increased prevalence of vaccine preventable illness in the coming years?
(Or maybe you think we should wait for a meta-analysis of several studies on outcomes of people who got a MMR booster before RFK Jr yanked them from the market vs. outcomes of people who didn’t, so it will have been an evidence based decision? This just seems silly to me.)
I think people wasting medical resources by getting unnecessary bloodwork and vaccinations is a problem from a public health perspective, yes.
A core principle of medicine is that interventions should provide meaningful benefit or mitigate meaningful risk. Just like there’s no evidence-based reason to do a quarterly CBC on a healthy adult (or pick whatever other metaphor you’d like), there’s no evidence-based reason to do this.
Hello – thanks for all the lovely comments last time I posted. I began chemo this week, and have already secured two wigs for work. But I’ve heard that eyelashes and eyebrows also significantly thin, too.
So, I am in the DMV: any recommendation for excellent microblading???
Also, any recommendation for excellent (and easy to use!) false eyelashes that I can order and start wearing soon to hide the thinning? (can’t to extensions – that doesn’t work with the chemo)
TIA
No direct advice, but If you have Look Good Feel Better classes near you it’s worth signing up. I think they should cover eyelashes and brows and probably still give you free makeup.
Not in the DMV area but when I went through chemo I opted not to do micro blading for eyebrows. The advice I got from my wig guy and other cancer patients was that eyebrows fall out last and grow back first (which was true for me – they fell out in month 4/5 and grew back first). I bought an eyebrow stencil and stenciled them on during that brief period. A very kind Sephora employee taught me how to pencil them in realistically using the stencil. I still use the techniques now!
I have pretty thick / defined eyebrows and was worried that the micro blading would not look great when they regrew if it was misaligned with my natural shape. Depending on your natural brows this may be less of a concern.
On eyelashes, I was told you basically have to use magnetic ones because it’s hard to get others to stick. I tried it and could not get comfortable with them. I ended up just wearing more eye makeup and tight lining my eyes.
Good luck!
I am in my first trimester and super nauseous the whole time. Looking for good recipes that are on the blander side.
I ate a lot of frozen mac and cheese and pasta like this: https://www.splendidtable.org/story/2017/03/14/fusilli-roasted-cauliflower-with-capers
Soup was my friend – a classic chicken noodle sits easy.
It sucks, but if I could choke down a protein shake in the morning, that seemed to really help with the nausea all day. The only one I could tolerate was a very cold (like, put in the freezer for a few minutes) Premier Protein vanilla. YMMV.
I ate a lot of Eggo waffles. I wouldn’t worry too much about nutrition. It’s a blip in your lifespan and you’ll be back to normal eating soon enough – just eat what sounds good.
bagels, grilled cheese, pizza. it’s common. you’ll feel better, just eat what goes down.
Honey Nut Cheerios — starchy and bland, but IMO more delicious
I sucked on goldfish and threw up a lot for all my pregnancies. Find what works for you. Watermelon was a good one as easier to throw up. Take the drugs from your obn if it’s really bad.
I liked pasta with meat sauce or peanut sauce and chicken/veggies, but served cold.
This request brings to mind pasta and Alfredo sauce with chicken and peas, or broccoli or asparagus if those aren’t off-putting.
I ate A LOT of baked potatoes, some plain and other times with Greek yogurt and cheese, as well as peanut butter toast during my first trimester. I tried not to worry about nutrition and focused more on what would stay down.
McDonalds french fries was my go to.
anyone familiar with long island? need a good restaurant between the city line and five towns.
Any recs for private schools in NoVA that are K-12 and likely to offer generous financial aid? (Googling “private school” turns up a lot of daycares. There are four kids going into 10th, 8th, 6th, 3rd.) The family is located in Alexandria near Landmark. I know it’s late for the 25-26 school year. Thank you!
Ummm what? Why? Public school exists
Your privilege is showing. If you are barely making ends meet and you live in a poor part of town, your districted ACPS schools have daily problems with guns, knives, and drugs, just like any urban school in a poor area. No parent wants that for their child.
Eye roll.
“Urban school in a poor area” is not Alexandria. You’re thinking of across the river from there.
But I have friends in Fairfax County and they will tell you that even there, it’s no cakewalk.
Yeah what?! Alexandria is one of the richest cities in the US. The public schools are more than fine.
Alexandria as a city is not as wealthy as you may think – it’s 45% ESL and 47% economically disadvantaged, even more so in the area OP is referencing.
OP, I don’t know if you’ll be better off moving – it’s rough in many local districts, and ACHS is large enough that kids can find their people (although I don’t know much about FCHMS, which may be harder). Short of moving a big family into a small apartment in falls church city I’m not sure you’ll be better off moving. And I think you’ll find that many private schools with openings have openings for a reason (overly religious, poor academics, or just extremely expensive). I’m sure there was an incident to push you to do this, and I wish you luck.
My privilege? You’re the one asking how to get cheap private school for 4 kids
No idea, but try googling “independent school”.
Thanks! Good tip.
Your best bet is your parish Catholic school. I have seen them step up before when there are extenuating circumstances like the father has died or a sibling has cancer and the family is struggling, even this late in the application cycle.
Wonderful idea, thank you!
This.
But in all seriousness, for whatever the rent situation is, if you are paying $1,000-$2,000/month in tuition (i.e., a hefty discount to rack rate, total, for all 4 kids), that additional $ may be better spent on renting somewhere with better schools.
And also: everyone in Alexandria public schools is in this boat, no?
Unless they own in Landmark, they could consider moving to the Fairfax County part of Alexandria, especially along Rt. 1. It’s not the crime-ridden sh*t-hole people assume. Vibrant working class community, plenty of apartments at similar price points, transport options are similar and set to improve dramatically in a few years, and Mt. Vernon High School and it’s associated lower schools are fine.
Any physicians made the switch from practice to adjacent role, like UpToDate? I’m thinking about making a switch from the practice that I’m at which is already very flexible. Thoughts?
What would you consider excessive barking for dogs in an apartment building? I received a complaint from a neighbor about my dogs barking. I don’t think they are excessive. They often bark when they hear neighbors come home, or when people leave or enter the apartment, as well as sometimes when they hear something outside. I’d say it’s maybe 10 or so times per day, but not for long periods of time. I think the neighbors are out of line to complain about this, but is this excessive barking?
Excessive is in the eye of the beholder, but I don’t blame them for being annoyed if your dog barks 10x a day, even if only for 10-30 seconds each time.
yes, that is a lot
If you rent in a building that allows dogs, you accept the fact that dogs will be there, IMO.
That is both a lot and annoying, and also a known risk of renting in a dog-friendly building.
10x a day is A LOT. I’ve lived next to apartments where the dogs inside go crazy when I merely walk past, and it’s beyond annoying. Are your dogs like that? Or is it one “woof” from each of them and then nothing more?
Yeah, dogs that lose their shit at somebody just walking by, or coming home to their apartment, are super annoying.
To me, barking at something is normal. What is not normal is barking at nothing, like barking for attention or barking due to separation anxiety. So if there is enough activity in your building to set them off 10x per day, then that is a fine number of times for them to bark. That said, 30 seconds is actually kind of a long time for barking unless there is nothing ongoing activity, if that is an accurate estimate. Maybe work on the length of time they are barking. You aren’t going to be able to stop them from alerting. That is what dogs do
I say this as a dog lover: 10x a day is a lot.
They are definitely not out of line to complain.
To me, it’s not necessarily the duration, but the when. If your dog barks (honestly, really at all) after 10pm or before 7pm, you are as good as dead to me. If you interrupt my sleep or my kid’s sleep, I would complain. If your dog barks during daylight hours when someone walks by with another dog, meh. That’s just life.
I work from home and would love to wear the blazer + jeans look – but that never works for my climate. It’s either freezing cold and I need a warmer coat, or it’s steamy and hot and humid and the thought of a blazer is just comical. I also live a really casual life. So… how do I feel like a put together grown up?
You wear a blazer under a warmer coat in the winter. It’s not the top layer. In the summer, you wear dresses.
If you’re working from home, control the temperature in your home? Turn on the AC in the summer?
Linen blazers in the summer, turn your heat up in the winter.