Coffee Break: 5-Minute Morning Set
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Ooh: there are some nice deals on Merit, which I keep noticing the commenters recommending to one another (to say nothing of all the Alure awards they've won.)
Their sets are already pretty good value, but at the moment many of them are on sale at Merit.com. I like that you can select the individual shade for every product; there are so many “value sets” where I feel like you're stuck with at least one item that you don't really care for.
This “5 minute morning” set looks particularly great — you get their award-winning blush, mascara, and blending brush — as well as their highlighting balm, tinted lip oil, brow pomade, and The Minimalist, which “is not a foundation or a concealer, but it'll replace both in your makeup bag.” I like the sound of that!
This particular set is normally $206, but is marked down to $176. You can see all their sets here; you can also find their products at Sephora.
Sales of note for 7/8/25:
- Nordstrom – The Anniversary Sale has started for all cardholders — stay tuned for our roundup!
- Amazon Prime Day! I just finished our full roundup — check out deals on hair tools from Shark and Dyson, leather jackets from All Saints, classic makeup like Black Honey, as well as deals from Lo & Sons, Rothy's, Theory (love this lady jacket), Levi's, Kate Spade (love these shoes, this tote, and lots of tech gear), Club Monaco, and Gap — full roundup here
- Ann Taylor – Semiannual sale, 30% off your purchase and extra 50% off sale styles
- Athleta – Last Chance Semi-Annual Sale – Up to 70% off + Extra 30% Off (cute gym bag!)
- Banana Republic Factory – July Fourth Event, 50-70% off everything + extra 25% off
- Boden – Final call sale, up to 60% off + extra 10%
- Eloquii – Flash sale, extra 60% off all sale
- J.Crew – End of season sale, up to extra 70% off sale styles with code
- J.Crew Factory – All-Star Sale, 40-70% off entire site and storewide and extra 60% off clearance
- M.M.LaFleur – Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
- Rothy's – Up to 50% off seasonal faves, plus new penny loafers and slingbacks
- Spanx – End of season sale, get an extra 30% off sale styles
- Talbots – 40% off your entire purchase, + free shipping on $150+
I wanted to say thank you to the poster who recommended using KeySavvy to sell a car on the private market. We just did this successfully (well, pending the cash hitting our account, but trying not to be superstitious) and got a full-price offer for our car. We’re getting $9,000 instead of the $4,200 Carvana offered and the $6,600 Carmax offered. Carvana also sent emails saying “uh oh, your car has dropped in value!” to try to get us to move quickly, which was amusing because they were clearly selling similar makes/models for a lot more. It was very easy and took almost no time to set up the Craigslist listing and the KeySavvy account. Most inquiries weren’t serious, but two were and the one we settled on moved very quickly – it was literally a 25-minute test drive and discussion down the street from where we live. Anyway, thanks again!
Thanks for sharing. How did you do the test drive? You got in the car with a stranger driving? Did you have someone else with you?
I sold my old Toyota a few years ago and I was so worried they would ask for a test drive. I was alone – but during the day, in a store parking lot – and I didn’t trust having someone drive my car away with me or without me!
My husband and I went together to a big open parking lot where we met the buyer (a woman). We checked her license before getting in the car with her and we proposed the route since she was from a few towns away. I would have been more nervous to do it alone if the buyer had been a man and likely would have proposed a more visible public meet-up place. She didn’t ask for an inspection but we would have allowed it if she had.
Thanks for this. I sold to a young man, and he arrived with another male friend. There is no way I would have gotten into the car alone with them, and was so relieved when he handed me the cash and they left.
I would never sell again without someone with me.
I sold to an adult male buyer and let him take it for a test drive alone but he left his driver’s license and the keys to his current vehicle with me. I assumed he’d come back for those things, plus I had all his info so I could report the car stolen if he’d tried to take it without paying. He also only drove it down the block so he was never really out of sight. I’m pretty risk averse and it felt very comfortable, both physical safety-wise and in terms of the car sale.
I haven’t used KeySavvy, but Carvana and the dealership told me my 25 year old Toyota was worthless and should be junked for parts, and I sold it pretty much instantly on FB marketplace for $3,500. I’m guessing I could have gotten $5k for it if I’d had more patience. Any car that’s driveable will fetch at least a couple grand on the private market. The used car sites zero out on value long before the car reaches the end of its lifespan.
Oh hey that was me! Thanks for sharing, it makes me so happy to hear it was a helpful recommendation!
If anyone had a bar soap that they think is particularly strongly scented, let me know! I live alone and mostly WFH so I’m not bothering anyone and I love a scented soap.
I don’t think they are particularly strong, but I do enjoy the Buff City Soap bars. My favorite is lemongrass eucalyptus.
Lush is always hated for their strong smells!
DH got me a bar of soap from Lush for Mother’s Day and I have it unopened in the guest bathroom as an air freshener because the scent is that strong.
This is the kind of low-stakes pot-stirring I live for on a slow day.
Ha!
One person’s trash . . .
I use my husband’s Irish Spring bar soap and it smells so strong, but yet so clean, to me.
That’s how I feel about the original Dove bar! I love it.
I bought a whole pack just because it smells like my dad and I miss him so much. Not using it. Just…have it in the bathroom.
Manly, yes! But I like it, too!
That’s what we use to keep rats out of our car…..
Jo Malone makes beautiful scented soaps. I like Blackberry & Bay.
I really like the Trader Joe’s lavender bar soap. The scent made my showers feel luxurious.
Trader Joe’s has some great soaps. The French Orange Blossom Honey hand soap was my favorite for a long time. Never a headache trigger either for anyone in my scent sensitive household!
Nantucket Looms Wildflower Soap – I think they sell it online. Smells amazing but strong.
Caswell Massey orig soap. It’s the one George Washington used :-) I bought one and I can barely stand it. Lol might be perfect for you.
I love love love Dr. Bronner’s tea tree soap bar. Smells very fresh and does wonders for skin.
Any of the Clays Porto soaps. I’m particularly fond of the honeysuckle one and the poppy one.
Claus Porto. I am so not in the mood for autocorrect f$ckery.
Anyone have experience on a condo board/with condo law? We have a mentally ill neighbor who left all four burners open on her gas stove all weekend. Finally neighbors pinpointed the source of the gas smell, she refused to let in the gas company, and they called the cops. The gas got turned off but that doesn’t seem like an accident to me and there’s nothing stopping it from happening again. Lawyer the condo board consulted said there’s not really anything that can be done. Wondering if that’s really true – seems like there should be exceptions for imminent dangers to others.
I would get back in touch with the police.
Call 911 every time you smell gas – at least in my NYC neighborhood they will immediately send out firefighters to go door to door in the building until they find the source. I think they are probably harder to refuse than gas company staff.
You don’t wait to pinpoint gas? When you smell gas call 911 every time immediately.
They did call (I was out of town) but apparently took some time to get to the source. Not sure why.
That’s terrifying. On top of all the recommendations everyone else said – I’d be getting gas detectors and installing them everywhere – all over your home and as close as you can possibly get to hers. (Do you have outlets in communal hallways? I’d be sticking them in all the outlets near hers…)
I also wonder if the condo board has an emergency contact and like, her family could check in on her.
Her family is aware – the end result of the cops being called was a hospitalization but I’m not sure how much they can do.
Probably they hold her for 48 or 72 hours, determine she’s not a danger, and release her.
Seems like she is a danger though! To self and others.
Great idea, thanks.
Put carbon monoxide detectors in your kitchen and bedrooms. In this case add one to your entryway as well. Insist that your building installs them in the hallway directly outside her department and continue to raise h-ll. Even if she doesn’t burn down the building she could still kill a neighbor (or their pets who can’t call 911).
You need a combustible gas detector, not a carbon monoxide detector. And assuming that you have natural gas, you want to place it at the ceiling, because methane is lighter than air. If you have propane, you should place it down low, because it’s heavier than air.
In this situation I’d definitely go with E) All of the above.
You need a more aggressive lawyer. In my experience, you just about need to use two lawyers for your HOA stuff – one who is the documents person and one who is a pitbull. We hired a pitbull a few years ago when an owner’s untended mental health issues conflated with hard drug use and all hell broke loose. He was a danger to himself and others. The board started an eviction process. We got a restraining order barring him from the property promptly and were in the middle of foreclosing on his condo when his family swooped in, committed him, and asked for an opportunity to sell his condo themselves.
I got some Merit concealer recently (hit up Sephora in person after #NoKings) and I’m a fan!
Here’s a Q: I am terrible at losing earrings. I used to just buy the JCrew pearls in almost-bulk knowing I’d lose one or two a year and had a back-up. I should have done that with some Quince earrings I really liked, but now Quince has moved on to another design.
Are there *inexpensive* screw-back earrings? I’d be happy to pay up to $200, but I’m not looking to actually invest in diamonds, which are what I’ve seen with screw-back. I’d like to have earrings that won’t get lost as easily. Any ideas?
Look at places that sell body jewelry, since screw-back earrings are super common for those. Try looking at BVLA, Maria Tash, or Buddha to start. At least for BVLA you can only buy them in piercing shops, but I’d actually recommend going to a piercing shop anyway since screw-back earrings are practically impossible for me to get on myself. The plus side is that they’ll never fall off.
That is a really good idea! Usually “body jewelry” that screws together like that isn’t as big as what I’d want in my ear lobes but this an excellent excuse to pop into shops and look at shiny things until I find the perfect one. Thank you!
I purchased these about 10 years ago:
https://chrysme.la/products/chrysmela-catch-earring-backs
You can use them with any earrings and you will not lose an earring. As soon as I get earrings, I throw away the backs that come with them and just use my one pair of these with any earrings I put on.
PERFECT! AMAZING. I need 12.
A small jewelry store will usually covert earrings you bring tin to screw back for a small price. Any pair I really like I have this done.
There was a poster on the morning thread asking about executive presence coaching, and you might like the recommendations from Lorraine K. Lee. She has a book called “Unforgettable Presence” that’s helpful for managing perceptions up but also across.
As for dealing with the misogynistic men, being more direct in my communication helped me, especially earlier in my career.
Passive request: “Can you please do [task1], maybe in the next few days? And can you please do [task2], hopefully in the next week or so?”
Direct request for someone more junior than you: I need [task1] by [date] and [task2] by [date]. Please let me know if you foresee any blockers to delivering these by the deadline.
Direct request for someone more senior to you: I’m working on [project] to accomplish [goal]. I need your [input/review/portion of the project] in order to [outcome]. Please [do what I asked] by [deadline], and let me know if you foresee any blockers.
You can also name-drop another senior person if you need to, like “[Recipient Manager Name] asked me to [make request]” or “I’m doing [project] based on a request [Big Boss Name].”
Draw clear boundaries when something is not your role, and don’t do favors if you see that people take advantage. This is especially true if you’ve been promoted in the same org, but people still ask you to do things from your more junior role. Even if it would only take you a few minutes to solve the problem, you need to hand them off to whoever should be doing that task. And if no one was assigned to take it over, then you need to say no, so that you don’t end up stuck with a bunch of tasks from your old role such that you can’t perform in your new role.
A few of my responses:
“I no longer handle [task], here’s the link to the documentation I created before I changed roles.”
“I’m no longer the owner of [deliverable], I handed it off to [name].”
“I’m not sure who handles that, I recommend asking in [larger Slack channel] or [general team].”
I used to offer to have a quick meeting to help, or hunt down all sorts of old assets to help, or start a new chat to make an intro to the new owner. But nope, this person is an adult, and they can find these items themselves (especially if it’s someone who I know has weaponized incompetence, you can search the intranet just as easily as I can!).
And finally, if you’re in meetings, assign specific tasks to people by name vs. letting someone else assign it to you/your team. I run a cross-functional team that drives strategy and execution for other teams, so it’s fairly common that my team will get tagged to do something. I make sure to say, “[Specific Name] from my team will do [specific task]” in meetings, so that other people don’t think they can randomly assign things to me or my team. It puts the onus on them to follow up with the right person vs. generally expecting me to micro-manage projects that don’t actually require someone at my level or my team to chase people down for approvals.
I’m the morning OP. Thanks for this!
I got Unforgettable Presence to work on my LinkedIn profile for job searching and found it really helpful. If you buy the book it comes with a bazillion downloads with even more scripts and stuff beyond the physical (or digital, or audio) text. I haven’t used it beyond LinkedIn yet, and it’s already been worth the $20 or whatever.
Interesting. I have no tolerance for the types of responses you shared, pretending you can’t be helpful, but wonder if it goes over well in other industries. I’m in government and everyone needs to provide information they have access to, even when their roles slightly change.
Yeah, probably context dependent.
It’s definitely context-dependent, though I will note that I am helpful by providing a link or recommending a different team. I’ve been at my org for 10 years, and I’m now 3 levels above where I started. Sometimes people stumble into my messages from work I did 5+ years ago, and I genuinely don’t know who owns it or where it’s at.
I also have other coworkers who think I’m their personal search assistant or task doer. The information is available, I shared in multiple channels, you can watch the recording, etc. I’ll give you the link if you ask me a specific question, but I’m not going to get on a 30-minute call to tell you information that you can read or watch. I’m not going to be in charge of managing your paperwork just because I used to do that task years ago and I’m the first person you stumbled on who might know how to do the thing you need. There’s some repeat offenders in this vein, and my responses have become increasingly curt over time.
Why don’t you ask the people whose job it actually is to provide you with that information?
I get a lot of headaches and have since I was a teenager, but lately I’ve been wondering if they could be migraines? They are on one side of my head (behind eye or temple area), throbbing pain, and are accompanied by nausea. I’ve just assumed head pain leads to nausea, rather than it being a separate symptom, though; and same with “sensitivity to light and noise”….yes, they are extra unpleasant when I have a headache, but doesn’t that make sense when your head hurts?
Is there such a thing as a mild migraine? I’ve always viewed migraines as being totally incapacitating, have to lie down in a dark room, don’t respond to medication, etc. Ibuprofen does take the edge off for me, at a high enough dose, and I generally keep going about my day (even though I would much rather be resting in that dark room).
I also get tension headaches and the like, but I’m starting to wonder if what I primarily experience is indeed migraine and I should consider a different course of treatment/discussion with my doctor.
This absolutely meets the diagnostic criteria for m*graine. It’s a complete myth that they have to be totally incapacitating and it really causes a lot of unnecessary suffering through missed diagnosis.
Agree. When I was in college, I saw a neurologist after two migraines. This was 20+ years ago now, so I don’t remember all the details, but one thing really stuck with me: The doctor asked me how often I got headaches, and I responded, “Normal headaches or migraines?” And he said something like, that’s what people who have migraines always ask; having chronic headaches, even if they’re not debilitating, isn’t “normal.” I think it’s worth seeing your doctor or requesting a neurology referral.
These are exactly what my migraines are like. Mine were typically mild to moderate and I could power through them during the day. I’d get one or two a year that were really massive and knocked me out, but those weren’t super frequent. I also get tension headaches and would sometimes wave a migraine off as one of those.
I went to my PCP who prescribed me a low dose of meds I could take until I could get into see a neurologist, who upped my dose on those meds and gave me some OTC supplements that have really helped my tension heads, plus some PT exercises to help loosen up my shoulders and neck area.
You can get a referral to a headache neurologist and let the specialist sort it out. But this sounds way more like my migraines than like my non-migraine headaches personally.
Definitely sounds like a migraine to me, as someone who has had them, especially around the start of my periods, since I was a teen. I’m allergic to Ibuprofen, but Tylenol normally really helps. So just because something responds to OTC meds doesn’t mean it’s not a migraine.
This sounds like migraines to me. It’s worth discussing with your doctor, I think.
Yes, that sounds like a migraine to me. I get them at the beginning and end of my cycle – they are not incapacitating most times but advil/excedrin won’t knock them out. Now I have migraine meds and it has been life changing! Definitely worth speaking to your doctor about, as well as keeping track to see if you can figure out any patterns or triggers. Good luck!
Headaches are a symptom of migraine, a neurological disorder. You can have migraines without headache. People who have migraine with aura can often have those symptoms and no headache. You can have visual disturbances, nausea, aphasia, vertigo, fatigue, numbness and tingling, sensitivity to light, noise or smells, etc. Those who recognize their symptoms early can absolutely take their medications and avoid the headache part.
I would see a neurologist who specializes in migraine — not all do. I have to take several preventative medications, not just a pain reliever. I also have to avoid my triggers when possible. I don’t know your age, but hormonal fluctuations can make migraines worse for some women so puberty, around your period, pregnancy, menopause, etc. You can also have weather triggers like heat and changes in barometric pressure.
I have the no pain but I can’t see very well variety. It’s like trying to look though a sheet of water. A law school classmate was diagnosed with migraines when she started getting episodes of black bars across her field of vision. Migraines can be strange and interesting.
Wow, thanks everyone. It’s a lightbulb moment for me. And now that I think about it, for years I used to have somewhat frequent, debilitating headaches in the very early morning, and I’d have to take Excedrin Migraine and lay still for 45 minutes. Once I got pregnant with my first those went away! They really seem to have a hormone component for me; I get virtually none while pregnant, which I took note of because I get them frequently when not.
Yup my migraines vanished while I was pregnant. They’re mostly hormonal for me.
Have I missed discussion of Careless People here? I’m curious what this community thinks about it, especially since there was so much discussion of and love for Lean In when it first came out. And I’m fully including myself in that – I loved it (I just checked my Goodreads and I gave Lean In a rare 5 stars). But Careless People was… eye-opening.
Lean In is still some of the best career advice around.
I was in a Lean In circle for many years and we all worshipped Sheryl Sandberg. I just finished Careless People and….wow. I can’t stop thinking about it. I gave my copy to my friend who ran the Lean In organization for our city and state and met Sheryl, and I am dying to hear what she thinks about it. I know Facebook blocked the author from promoting the book, but I hope she is making a lot of money from it. She deserves it.
Mixed feelings. The company sounds unsurprisingly awful but the author felt like she was trying too hard to prove she wasn’t like them, had the perfect motives, etc.