Coffee Break: Briella Heels
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Call me crazy, but I'm seeing a lot of women wearing heels again — and these Sam Edelman T-strap heels look fabulous for fall.
I always love a good strappy pump, and I really dig so many of the details here — the cutouts, the low, comfortable heels, the super skinny straps. They feel like a more grown up version of these sandals, which I'm seeing everywhere this summer.
You can find the shoes in red and black at Zappos; Nordstrom also has them in lucky sizes in a bone white. They're $150, available in sizes 5-11.
Psst: I'm working on updating our big suit roundup — does anyone have any new favorites?
Sales of note for 7/15/25:
- Nordstrom – The Anniversary Sale is open for everyone — here's our roundup!
- Ann Taylor – Semiannual sale, extra 50% off sale styles
- Banana Republic Factory – 40-60% off everything + extra 50% off clearance
- Boden – 10% off new womenswear with code
- Eloquii – Limited time, 100s of styles starting at $9
- J.Crew – End of season cashmere sale, take 40% off select cashmere
- J.Crew Factory – All-Star Sale, 40-70% off entire site and storewide and extra 60% off clearance
- M.M.LaFleur – Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
- Rothy's – Up to 50% off seasonal faves, plus new penny loafers and slingbacks
- Spanx – End of season sale
- Talbots – All markdowns, buy 2 get 1 free, on TOP of an extra 40% off (last day is 7/15)
We will be driving from Portland to Bar Harbor on Saturday. Plane lands at 4 pm. We will be on Central time, so we were planning on driving a bit before stopping for dinner. Any suggestions on good stops for dinner/playgrounds on the way? I will be driving with a 4 year old, who will need to wiggle, and a baby.
Also, suggestions on route also welcome– I’m a little confused about the difference between driving up to Bangor on Interstate and the alternate route that veers off to Belfast after Augusta and ends on Hwy 1. Not wanting to do Hwy 1 the entire way since we will be trying to get to Bar Harbor for bedtime. Thanks!
Maine Beer Company outside Freeport is a nice food stop. Probably 20-30 minutes once you get your rental car. Wood fired pizza and a great tasting room. We’ve always stopped at LL Bean with our kiddos – there’s a big open air area where they can run and climb. Hwy 1 is pretty and not that much longer honestly. The interstate is wild because there is literally nothing. No billboards. No lights.
Augusta to Belfast is scenic, but empty. I’ve driven it at night and not seen another car for 10 – 15 miles at a time. I’d go up to Bangor and over, stopping in Waterville for dinner at the Proper Pig or Front and Maine for dinner. North St Recreation Area has a nice playground.
There is a lot of empty road in Maine once you get beyond Portland.
If I were doing this trip, I would just take 95 to Bangor, then 1A down to Bar Harbor. Don’t worry about doing the scenic route.
(FWIW, your suggested route of Portland to Augusta to Belfast to Bar Harbor is probably not a great way to get there, IMHO. You don’t get the scenic drive of the coast nor the speed and ease of 95.)
If you don’t want to eat in Bar Harbor, Bangor would be your best bet. Augusta is a tiny, tiny city (population about 20,000).
We stopped at Carrier’s Mainely Lobster last time we did this drive with young kids and enjoyed it. Lobster rolls, ice cream, and an overall nice casual stop.
The route through Bangor is approximately 15 minutes longer, but more interstate. The route through Belfast (if you get off at Augusta) is emptier but if you get stuck behind a slow truck, can take longer. Belfast has a nice downtown but many of the ice cream places close early (ask me how I know ;)).
Freeport is a great stop for young kids w/ LL Bean and a nice school playground close to LL Bean, but it’s quite close to Portland. If you go through Augusta/Belfast, check your hours/ETA but this place in China is GREAT seafood and a good “Maine” experience. :) https://majekseafood.com/
Also in Belfast, there is a Thai place called “Rice and Noodle” and it looks pretty awful from the outside, but the food is AMAZING.
If you go through Bangor, one of my HS classmates runs Blaze Pizza and it is great (there is also one in Bar Harbor IIRC).
There is Blaze in BH.
I would also recommend the highway to Bangor then down 1A because Route 1 along the coast can be a nightmare peak season. Slow, heavy traffic, but it is wicked scenic.
Prompted by the morning’s question about swimming when you have terrible eyesight, what are people’s experiences with Lasik? How long ago did you have it and any regrets? I have terrible eyesight and while I’m fine with contacts now, I do wish I could swim without goggles and still be able to see, and I’m having a hard time envisioning myself trying to put contacts when I’m old. I am not a fan of glasses. But the “what if they mess this up and my vision actually gets worse” fear is real.
Go with the best surgeon and the most advanced technology you can find. Personally I went with SBK rather than lasik.
I had it a little over ten years ago. At the time I was in my mid-twenties and was very very annoyed at how much it cost, but now that I’ve gotten to appreciate it for a while I’m very very happy.
I’m usually for better living through medical intervention. But I’ve met enough people IRL with nondesirable outcomes from major to minor (life-altering halos at night, significant problems with dry eyes, not enough correction such that they still need glasses all the time, etc.) that I would be hesitant to do. I’m shocked how many people have said they were unhappy. I don’t know how you guard against some of this since they all said they researched pretty heavily.
FWIW laser eye surgery is the best thing I’ve ever done for myself.
Same here
Same.
Same. Same for my MIL, husband and SIL, we all got it over 10 years ago.
Ditto, did it more than 15 years ago and my vision is still nearly 20/20. Wish I had just done it sooner before I hit my 40s and needed reading glasses (which LASIK doesn’t solve for).
I think you want to get it LASIK, ie. between 25-40. After that, your eyes start changing rapidly and the surgery results may not last.
I didn’t do it when I was young, and now I’m in my late 50s I’m not going to do it. I was the person who refused to wear glasses outside of the house, until I hit 45 and wearing contacts became uncomfortable for me. I wear glasses exclusively now. I don’t have awful eyesight (maybe -3.00 or -3.50?) and I can walk around the house and work and function easily without glasses, but I need them for driving and most outside things.
Fwiw many people get it along with cataract surgery. Life changing for my parents too.
I did it when I was a mid-20s associate without kids, and it was life changing to see the alarm clock (-8.00 vision before). Highly recommend.
20 years and 2 kids later, my eyes have slowly transitioned to -3.0. My strong recommendation is to not do Lasik before having kids or when you think you’ll have more… while I understand most people’s eyes return to pre-pregnancy normal after delivery, mine didn’t. While aging is probably partly to blame as well, the most noticeable changes were after each pregnancy.
I got PRK (old-fashioned LASIK with more side effects) done when I was 24. I’m 44 now. Do my eyes get dry, especially with a ceiling fan? Yes. Do I have halos at night? Yes. But I went from a -2.75 to a -.50 and the trade-offs are just fine for me. I do wear glasses with an anti-reflective coating when driving long distances at night to reduce the halos.
I had lasik probably 15-20 years ago. It was great, minor side effects. My -8.00 vision was 20/20 for a while, but I eventually needed glasses again. Only -.50 though, so they’re the cute kind without coke bottle lenses. I’m not helpless without them.
DH got PRK about 15-20 years ago. Other than the initial recovery, he had no side effects and was thrilled with the results. He used a very well regarded practice for the surgery. Now, in his late 40s, he’s starting to need reading glasses and has had a very slight decline in his long distance vision, but no more than what he would’ve expected with normal aging.
Best thing I ever did. Life changing. Got it about 8 years ago and my eyesight gets better even as time goes on. Easy surgery and recovery. Highly recommend. Just go to the best surgeon where you live and if they turn you away, listen.
Got it done in 1999, no regrets! Don’t be cheap, your eyes isn’t something you should cheap on.
Is anyone keeping up with the Emmy nominations? I agree with everyone nominated from The Pitt (but why no Patrick Ball?). But no one from Yellowjackets was nominated that I can see (not even the delightful Melanie Lynsky, who is just an amazing NJ mom even though she is from New Zealand)? Some shows seem to own all of the nominations — what out there is truly worth watching now that I’m in between seasons of everything else I watched?
I’m annoyed that The Bear keeps getting nominated for a comedy, it is one of the most stressful shows to watch. I hope What We Do in the Shadows wins, it was such a great ending for the series.
Agree. There are few things light about that show (even though I love it). Totally does not belong in the comedy category.
It seems so weird to me that The Bear is supposedly a comedy, while Severance is supposedly a drama. Me personally, I would switch them.
I watched maybe 30 minutes of the Bear and the cinematography and the pace irritated me enough to know it was a non-keeper.
I was happy to see the nominations for Jeff Hiller in Somebody Somewhere, Sharon Horgan in Bad Sisters, and Michelle Williams, Jenny Slate, and Rob Delaney in Dying for Sex. I liked this season of the White Lotus more than a lot of people did, but wasn’t happy to see White Lotus and Severance take over entire categories, which is just boring (like this season of Severance). I would have much rather seen some of the supporting actors and actresses from Andor or Jack Lowden for Slow Horses or Ben Whishaw for Black Doves. Adolescence and Shrinking were also great and deserved all their nominations.
Slow Horses was excellent.
I must be the only person who watched Adolescence and was very meh about it. It was . . . fine. But didn’t grab me and I go deep and broad on anything dark and crime-y.
Me too, I thought it was hammy acting and a ridiculous plot. Yes these things happen, but it was just unconvincing and so dry.
The Pitt is the best thing I’ve seen on TV in ages. Severance is stylish but not that interesting. I’m disappointed too.
I watched the first eight episodes of The Pitt and I don’t think I can keep going – the eighth episode was just too sad. Does it get any better?
So excited for Jeff Hiller from Somebody Somewhere, and of course my next husband Mr. Pedro Pascal. I was pleasantly surprised that Kaitlyn Dever got nominated for The Last of Us, it was an incredible performance but such a brutal one.
Now that the nominations are in, I can concentrate on what’s really important – clothing for all of the pre-Emmy events and the Emmys themselves!
I have some financial stuff up for renewal and the person addressed the email to my husband first with my email in CC. Like ma’am you can see I’m the breadwinner and this financial stuff is in my name first. Gotta love casual s3xism.
My insurance company, where I am a named policy owner, wanted my husband’s contact info when I called to file a claim. He was not involved and when I asked why, the rep said it was so they could reach out to him to get his permission to talk to me about the claim. I was livid and ripped them a new one then and there, told the guy that it is 2025 and completely unacceptable when I am THE POLICY OWNER and if he had a problem talking to a woman without some other man’s permission he needed to pass my claim to a different agent. I thought we solved the issue then and there, but he had the audacity to call my husband the next day (WTAF!). My husband then lit into him, refusing to speak since he’s not the one who filed the claim. If I had the option to do so I would be firing this company immediately.
Please do name and shame the company; and I’m curious whether this might be related to the state you live in?
About a year ago I called my dentist to schedule an appointment and I mentioned that there was new insurance. They said to bring my husband’s insurance card to the appointment. I had to pause to think about what I just heard. I mentioned that there was no husband, that I had my own insurance, and that this was not 1950.
Thanks for this. I laughed out loud.
Yeah, I otherwise love my tailor, but she will abandon me in the dressing room to measure a man who came in after me.
When my husband scheduled his vasectomy, the woman on the phone asked him for my name and date of birth. That was unexpected and gave us a good laugh afterwards!
I feel like skirts are having a moment. I have a pleated one that comes below my knee and it feels stumpy. I have others that are better, but they don’t seem very “office” (in 2025, I may being funny here since no one but me seems to care). How are you doing skirts this summer for working in a law office that is casual officially but more “dress for your day.”
Knee length pencil skirt w linen or silk button down. Anything longer makes my calves look unfortunate.
i have two knife pleated skirts (one is black and one is pink and they are both quince to loop back on our conversation this morning). I have worn them with flats, kitten heels, slides, or sneakers. mostly wear them with a shirt and cardigan although have worn them w a crew neck sweater as well. they are longer (above the ankle) because I agree that most skirts are of a length that makes me look stumpy. i think shorter or longer is just easier to wear.
That below the knee to mid calf length is my favorite skirt length regardless of what the trend is. I feel good in it and can move comfortably while in it.
Mine too. I’m a tall and skirts that hit at the knee (even if they actually hit at MY knee) tend to look too short on me for proportional reasons.
There are years I can’t buy skirts and dresses at all because I can’t find anything long enough. I should probably stock up now!
I also have trouble with skirts– I have wider calves, so they need to hit at the knee or ankle to look right. I also have a narrow waist– if skirts start below the waist it looks weird.
Something you may consider too is that if you have narrow shoulders (like me), you may need to wear a boatneck top or cardigan to balance out the fullness of a skirt. For me, the fuller skirts that are popular now just throw my body out of proportion.
I like pencil skirts and A-line skirts; both styles are often available in business appropriate fabrics. I would give the currently trendy full skirts a pass.
I am experimenting with purses. In the past, I’ve liked things that are a bit twee — top handled, very ladylike, very demure (kidding!). I feel that cross-body only works for me for the weekend. I need to loop something over my shoulder and have it tuck under an arm or at least look a shorter strap over my arm. A zipper closure would be nice, as would an external pocket. What do you do at a restaurant (think — lunch or dinner with a client) — have a bag you hang on your chair or rest in your lap? Does the bag have structure to “sit” upright or just flop over? I keep getting bags that seem fine but just annoy me. Tempted by a Wallet-on-Chain configuration, but it might be too small or need a bigger bag to toss in.
I never dangle a bag off a chair. Some women use those little purse holder things to keep their bag off the floor, but I’m not precious about setting my bag down between my feet. I can wipe the bag and wash my hands later.
Also did you know you can get little “feet” for your bag on Amazon (probably your brick and mortar craft store, too). And — wow! Look at this! Magnetic ones on Etsy! https://www.etsy.com/listing/1737287951/the-gals-guide-handbag-heels-purse-feet?
At work, I prefer no purse if I have pockets that can accommodate my small wallet and my phone. My work lunches are mostly within walking distance of my office and I am not usually in a client facing role, so it’s mostly internal attendees.
At home, my small crossbody purse goes on the back of my chair, or I set it on the tabletop. If no room there and as a last resort, I tuck it under my thigh or place it on the seat behind me like a lumbar pillow.
Finding the right purse is tricky! I have a Milo bag from Sézane that I believe meets most of your requirements except that it has a flap with a clasp rather than a zipper. I like that it stands up and is just big enough, and it feels dressy enough for everything except formal occasions.
I mostly put bags over the chair as I hate putting them on the floor, both because of the potential for dirt or spills and not wanting to accidentally step on it. I’m sure that’s somehow an affront to etiquette somewhere, but so be it!
I wouldn’t worry about the appropriateness of the bag on the chair – that is just a really inviting place for casual opportunistic theft.
I only ever worry about this when dining on the sidewalk or in a dark, crowded spot. Otherwise I set it on a chair.
+1 – i had my purse stolen when I was 18 with some sentimental things inside and I’ve never made the mistake again of putting it on the back of my chair. Maybe if I were against a wall I would.
I agree with putting it beneath the table by my feet, or (at a bar) using the hooks below the bar. Very occasionally if there’s a chair with a closed-back I will put the purse in the small of my back and lean back against it kind of like a lumbar pillow, also.
I like purses that are described as small tote bags. I look for a zippered top, a shoulder strap, and some built in exterior and interior storage. I look for leather and feet on the bottom. I don’t like droopy bags or bags that don’t have interior storage. Mine have come from a wide range of vendors over the years; there are always options at various price points.
Can cowboy boots be too old and beaten up? Mine are decades old. I’ve had them resoled, but the leather is dry and cracked in many places and the leather piping at the top and along the sides by the pulls is cracked in places. Is there a place where character and patina are just too far gone?
And where would you buy a replacement? Not in Texas. Near enough to rural SEUS areas to find western wear stores. Wider ball of foot with a high arch. I don’t like a high heel but like a traditional western boot (vs a roper style, which I can never style).
We live in the non-western Midwest and my daughter finds cowboy boots at Tractor Supply. She has wide feet and says the men’s sizes fit her better. Men’s boots also don’t have as much of a heel as women’s boots sometimes do, although the Tractor Supply options seem more functional than fashionable.
I get mine from Lammle’s, but I’m in Canada in a prairie province. I don’t think the boots can ever be too old for ‘chore’ boots, but I wouldn’t wear my old ones to a lunch or rodeo for example.
For me, there’s character, and then there’s neglecting to condition the leather. I’d send the boots off to a top notch cobbler and see what he can do with them – if nothing, then you can retire them.
+1
You really should take them to a good cobbler and talk to them about what can be done for the boots. Resoling the cowboy boots is not that fundamentally different from men’s work boots or dress shoes, and they can give the boots a good deep condition. I am always shocked at how much they can bring the boots back, from someone with twenty year old boots.
As far as new boots, I would take a look at Cavendar’s online, along with Allen Boots in Austin and Pinto Ranch in Houston. All three stores have a good selection at the $200-$500ish mark. I think Miron Crosby is all hype and don’t really like the quality of the boots. I’ve also been more and more partial to short boots to wear under jeans.
Is there a Boot Barn near you? You can look online in advance to see if you like the brands.
Yes, they can. I’d just replace them and get a new pair (and condition it every once and a while). I order Tecovas online.
Has anyone here developed contact dermatitis / eczema as adult? I was shocked when my dermatologist said eczema but she said contact dermatitis is a form of eczema.
She gave me a prescription cream (clobetasol) but I can’t use it forever. I have to figure out what’s causing it.
We already use free and clear detergent and no fabric softener. I rewashed everything on hot with a vinegar rinse (plus a soak and an extra rinse) but I’m still getting itchy areas.
I asked if it was something I was ingesting but she said no because it’s not hives. It’s dermatitis (little intensely itchy bumps in certain areas)
It’s mostly on my torso, upper thighs, and upper arms, and as she pointed out, that is where my clothing hits me. Nothing on the face or lower arms.
Any thoughts?
I had a very very similar issue (red splotchy and itchy where my clothes hit me) and when I went to see my dermatologist she did say hives, possibly in response to a virus/infection that my son was fighting at the time. She recommended I take Claritin up to 4x a day and see how it went — that cleared it up for me after a few days. She told me to start with 2 in the morning and 1 at night.
That said you can develop allergies at any point in life, and I know some friends are allergic to wool or specific fibers. Maybe experiment with that for a few days and see if one specific fabric causes it to get better or worse?
I’m sorry, it sucks to be itchy.
I started Zyrtec a couple of days ago. The derm didn’t tell me to do it but I’ve been on it before for seasonal allergies and kind of thought why not. Maybe I will take another and see what happens.
I’m having this issue in the past six months. Interesting.
I developed eczema as an adult. This was a couple years after getting pre-vax covid and I’ve had weird medical issues pop up ever since. Do you have any auto immune conditions?
Personally I find sweat or dry skin will cause flare-ups. Since it’s summer are you sweaty in the areas it’s appearing? Do you let your bedding air out before making your bed in the morning and are you washing it often enough? For immediate relief an ice pack works well.
I do have autoimmune issues! I keep wondering if it’s related.
It goes hand in hand with asthma and allergies for sure. Probably autoimmune stuff as well.
You might talk to the doctor treating your immune system diagnosis; she can tell you if it’s likely related.
Yes, and it seems to be related to tree pollen and possible oak gall mites.
I take claritin daily from February through November and use copious amounts of benadryl cream when the itching gets bad. I avoid scented products, avoid dryer sheets, and don’t air dry clothes or bedding outside. I shower soon after coming indoors.
Permethrin cream actually helps clear it up when the itching becomes very widespread and intense, which is why the doctor thinks it may be oak gall mites (we have massive oak trees overhanging our yard).
FWIW, I had eczema (“little intensely itchy bumps” clustered in the crooks of my arms) caused by a chocolate allergy as a child, as did my mother when she was young. We both outgrew it around age 12. There was a direct cause and effect: eat chocolate, get itchy arms; eat vanilla, cry from boredom, avoid itchy arms.
Therefore, I’m a little bit flabbergasted by her answer that it couldn’t possibly be anything dietary. I mean, they figured it out in 1948 for my mom – surely they can concede it happening in 2025.
I looked up some terms and it seems you’re referencing atopic dermatitis vs contact dermatitis. I’ve been diagnosed with the latter.
I get dermatitis/eczema when I have specific nutritional deficiencies (usually related to autoimmune issues for me) or when I get glutened (same). Dermatology didn’t do the full work up though; I had to pursue testing with primary care.
Yes – over the past few years I have developed contact dermatitis multiple times. I thought it was weird too. But I also have multiple rheumatologic / autoimmune conditions that also presented in the past few years. I figure it is somehow related but no one cares about that, honestly. The part of the immune system that causes contact dermatitis is a different part of the immune system than is involved in my diseases.
If you have autoimmune diseases, you should have a good dermatologist with an interest in autoimmune / systemic diseases following you. Mine quickly checks the newest rash (I send her a pix over MyChart) to figure out if it needs a biopsy, if it can be related to my diseases, or if it is… contact dermatitis. She sent me to a different dermatologist to get scratch tested to find out exactly what I am sensitive to. This was very helpful for me, and now I know what to avoid.
But as another poster mentioned – scents is a really common one to become sensitive to over time. Try to change over to unscented everything. And make an appointment with a derm that does scratch testing – not every derm does this.
What kind of clothes do you wear? Polyester in the US can have toxic dyes and extra chemicals like flame retardants (read “To dye for”)
There are loads of people getting ill from their clothing.
Try to wear something like oekotex certified organic cotton clothing from a EU brand. H&M is fine.
Can anyone recommend a good mystery author or book that is a fun read?
Alternately – is there a new Gone Girl type of book out there ?
These are my favorite mystery/thriller authors:
Riley Sager
Alice Feeney
Lisa Jewell
Ruth Ware
Mary Kubica (my favorite from her is The Good Girl)
Jennifer Hillier
Try The Midnight Feast by Lucy Foley – it has similar Gone Girl vibes and was pretty enjoyable!
I also just read Everyone in My Family Has Killed Someone by Benjamin Stevenson, which was a fun mystery
There are a couple of sequels to Everyone in My Family Has Killed Someone, and they’re all fun.
yes, I love these! also they taught me that there is a ski resort in Australia, and a fancy trans-Australian railroad that is now on the list next to Viking Cruises for retirement trips.
I just finished Strange Sally Diamond and couldn’t put it down. It starts off being about an unusual woman but then veers more into crime/mystery. Hard to put down for sure.
I also like these authors, + Karin Slaughter. Though hers can be pretty dark and twisted (think next-level Criminal Minds).
Lucy Foley has pretty good mystery type books.
The Thursday Murder Club series is soooo good. I like Tana French’s books as well.
If you haven’t read Sharp Objects, it’s a good one. Same author as Gone Girl (Gillian Flynn). She also has a book called Dark Places, but I haven’t read that one yet.
Anthony Horowitz is a good “cozy mystery” author. Start with Magpie Murders, or The Word is Murder. Thursday Murder Club is in the same vein. The Veronica Speedwell series and Killers of a Certain Age, both by Deanna Raybourn are similarly fun, but with a female protagonist.
+1 for Tana French for a little darker more Thriller flavor.
if you haven’t read Robert Galbraith (and aren’t boycotting JK Rowling), the Cormoran Strike books are good thriller/mysteries
Interesting article about divorce and the mano sphere:
https://www.cbc.ca/news/canada/saskatchewan/online-misogyny-divorces-1.7580722
Interesting viewpoint. I don’t think the manosphere is the source per se. There has been a shift in society to more conservative values, one of which is the role of women in society. Influencers who are spreading this are just picking up on a trend.
What struck me most was this exert, ‘Byers said these men often want to represent themselves during divorce proceedings, animated by a perception that the family court system is biased against husbands and fathers.
“They see this as the fight of their lives, and they’re fighting the good fight on behalf of men and boys everywhere,” he said.’
For many years now there has been a shift to 50/50 custody with a week on week off schedule or something aligned with this when during the marriage the woman has been the one making significant sacrifices to work and parent the children. The reason for this shift to ‘fighting for their rights’ is to avoid paying child support.
All the divorced dads I know who have 50/50 custody are just laughably bad parents, they somehow convinced themselves the work their ex wives were doing was easy, but they can not hack it.
I feel like things like the manosphere as well as maga succeed because they center their intended audience as victims. As in what you said about child support. Dude, you’re not a victim because you have to pay to support your own child or else have them 50% of the time. But they always seem to want none of the above. Exhibit: my ex brother in law, who fought hard for 50/50 so he wouldn’t have to pay child support, but then in reality almost never took then kids when it was his turn.
Has anyone had the workup for endometrial cancer? OB wants to do an US and some tests, but if I don’t get off of the cancellation list, it will be about a month from now. All anecdata appreciated.
If it matters, I had two brief (1 day) and one not-brief (4 days) staining / bleeding events in less than a year.
I went to the doctor because I had been spotting off and on for something like 40 days. The doctor immediately leapt to CANCER and sent me right that minute to radiology for an US. The radiology tech told me it didn’t look good.
Dude. These idiots. I had been no more than 6 weeks pregnant (so I never knew), but my body was taking its time miscarrying. That’s it. That was the cause. But they had me writing my dang will. I’m still p1ssed that they couldn’t have eliminated simpler causes first before leaping to cancer so dramatically.
Snark aside, I trust that spotting is new for you, that it’s happening in the first half of your cycle, and that it couldn’t be peri. I have always spotted during the second half of my cycle, ever since I was a teen. That’s why I waited til 40 days because the spotting wasn’t new. But you know your body best – trust it. Good luck.
I posted about between-period bleeding also recently, and folks encouraged me to reach out to my doctor. She wasn’t too concerned because she thought it was peri/ fluctuating hormones / possibly a fibroid. I put it on hold because of her lack of concern, then had some other weird health concerns (ER visit due to constricted breathing and shoulder pain, which could have been referred pain from a uterine cyst apparently) (or, gallbladder! yay aging!). Vaginal ultrasound found a fibroid that was small (2.7?), no cyst. All bloodwork is good. So at this point I think all parties are in a “wait and see” holding pattern for any further symptoms but for the most part we’re chalking it up to nothing major.
So I’d say do the tests, do the US, don’t worry too much… at least that’s what my providers have been telling me. My in-between bleeding was around days 14-21 the 3 times it happened. Very weird how it was different than my usual periods though.
Yes, I have. Twice. Both times I thought the US seemed overkill (and expensive – cost me $3000! for the first one I had 3 years ago at a pricey hospital system), but I had to admit that my bleeding was abnormal and needed to be checked out.
Are you post-menopausal? That is the most concerning time for this cancer work-up.
First, it probably is nothing. Mine was nothing. Second, even in the (unlikely) situation it is cancer, it is usually very treatable.
And don’t worry about the 1 month wait. Try to actively reschedule it. I just call the scheduling line every day, first thing in the morning and again later in the day to try to reschedule. There are cancellations all the time. Also, ask if there are any other sites you can do the test at that are still in your hospital system. Sometimes you have to drive further out, but can get in quicker.
I’m sure you are going to be fine. But thanks for the good reminder that we should always get abnormal bleeding checked out, especially if you are post-menopausal.
What accounts do you max out at the beginning of the year? It just occurred to me that we should be doing that for the Roth, but I wonder if we should also do that for the kids’ 529s. In the past it was a pain to try to change the 401K contribution mid-year if you maxed it out before the end of the year, so that’s why we’ve never done that one, but maybe it’s easier now?
Why would you buy all your investments for the year at one time? I thought dollar cost averaging was a safer bet in the long run, so it was better to spread contributions evenly over the year.
Time in the market is better than DCAing over a yearlong horizon.
If we’re talking about a year and an amount you have on hand already, time in the market lump sum investing is generally superior to dollar cost averaging.
+1
The only time I avoid doing my Roth at the beginning of the year is if my income for the year is unclear and I may wind up not being eligible for the Roth. This is because the penalty for contributing incorrectly and having to withdraw the money from the Roth at the end of the year was very pricey when I made that mistake once.
None. Dollar cost averaging is smarter as the other poster said.
Also there’s no contribution limit for 529. You can contribute enough to take full advantage of a state tax deduction, which I assume is what people usually mean when they talk about “maxing” it, but it’s not like a 401k or an HSA or IRA where there’s an actual contribution limit. If you can afford to do it, front loading your contributions and contributing huge amounts when your kids are small and then reducing your contributions considerably is the way to go.
agree to disagree there – i was always taught that you should only put what you get a tax advantage on into 529s and invest whatever else you would have put into the 529s into open-ended accounts that you can use for whatever you need, whether it’s a vacation or college. i do regret a few choices we made when the kids were small but that isn’t one of them.
It probably depends on the size of your tax deductible contribution? Ours is only $5k and 18 years of that + growth is nowhere near what you need for private college.
We front loaded it and had enough for 4 years of public in-state college around the time she started Kindergarten. That really took the pressure off and then we’ve kept contributing smaller amounts, with the goal of optimizing the tax deduction each year but we don’t beat ourselves up if we contribute $4k instead of $5k.
Not sure if this is what people mean with respect to 529 limits, but you can also hit the gift tax threshold (to file, not to owe) with 529 contributions. Maybe people are seeking to avoid that?
Does your employer not just “turn off” the 401k contributions once you hit the annual max? I’m forever maxing it out early because my company includes supplemental wages (bonuses) as a source of contributions, but you don’t know your bonus at the time you set the deductions. Rather than trying to figure out exactly how to spread it evenly all year, which is a headache just to think about thinking about, I just let my company stop the contributions whenever they hit, usually sometime in Q3.
Same, and then I’m pleasantly surprised when my paychecks get bigger around the time I start shopping for holiday gifts or Winter Break trips.