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Coffee Break: Cyme Tote

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large tote with unusual shape; woman is holding it while wearing a suit while apparently mountain climbing

This chic bag from Polene looks great — but I feel like we must discuss this styling.

Apparently, someone at Polene said, HEY, let's have the models wearing suits! On a mountain! On TOP of a mountain! And obviously, they should be holding the bag!

I mean, sure.

There are several different versions of this bag, including the tote, a nano tote, and a more horizontal version just called Cyme and Cyme mini. I think I prefer the more elongated tote, but that's me…

The Cyme tote is $630, available at Polene. The tote is available in 6 colors, while the more horizontal version has 20 colors (!).

Sales of note for 4/10:

107 Comments

  1. Is anyone selling stock or index funds to get out of the market or put $ into more conservative investments as we seem to be heading into war?

    2. No. But as always, you need to consider your timeline for investing based on your age and retirement goals/plan, and choose an asset allocation (% of funds in the market vs. funds in cash/bonds/money market funds) based on those goals and your comfort level. You balance, then re-balance periodically (eg. once or twice a year or when you get 5% off your goals). Do not try to time the market. You will inevitably fail, and then you will never know when to get back in and you will almost always lose in the long run.

      It is always terrible to impulse sell and impulse buy. If you do that based on fear that means you do not have a reasonable plan, and maybe you should have an investment advisor to help talk you down when you panic.

    3. I’m not. I follow my own investment policy statement that I wrote taking into account potential wars and other disasters and disruptions.

    7. I’m buying the market. I have enough in a savings account that we could live on leanly for a year, and beyond that I’m funneling almost everything into index funds, with a little bit of what I consider “gambling money” into individual stocks. I’m 47 so I could work quite a bit longer before retiring if the markets tank, but I would also like to semi-retire (and maybe just do a little bit of consulting for select clients) in my early 50s. I can course correct as needed though.

    8. I’m buying into the market. It’s been on my to do to invest this cash for a bit and now’s the time!

      Buy low sell high aka do not sell now!

    9. The DOW closed higher yesterday than it did on December 19th 2025. My buying strategy remains the same as it did in December.

  2. Need the hive’s advice.
    I have been laid off since before Thanksgiving and was fortunate to get a job offer with Company A – yay! Pay was lower than what I had in my previous job, time off (10 business days / year) and other aspects were worse too, but I accepted the offer letter. Was down with flu and asked to extend the start date by a week. I start next Monday.

    Meanwhile, Company B that I also interviewed with, had come back to me with an offer letter with the same comp. I made some reluctant noises, pretty much hinting that I’ve received another offer. Then they went back and upped the pay by $30K, added a signon bonus, and shared their benefits package which is way better, time off, 401k matching, commuter benefits, lots of little things that add up. Just got it today.

    I guess I’m asking if it’s ok to ditch Company A on the verge of joining, and after they’ve kindly agreed to extend the start date because of my sickness. I know I will burn bridges and I am feeling very fortunate and grateful to have 2 offers after these intense months of searching. But the $ is significant enough to make a difference. What should I say and how should I say it? Over email or in a phone call? It feels a little nerve wracking. I’ll have to say it to the hiring manager directly as opposed to HR, since that’s who I’ve been talking to.

    Lastly, I’m feeling so so crummy that I haven’t been able to enjoy this moment after lying awake all night coughing. Taking myself to the doc today which I probably should’ve done earlier.
    Thanks all.

    1. Congrats! I would totally go with Company B. Just make sure that offer is *solid* and you have it all signed and it’s going to happen. If there’s nothing Company A can do to make you change your mind, then I would start with an email. Be apologetic and firm; don’t make it seem like a negotiation tactic. Explain that you’ve had another offer that you’ve accepted and that you appreciate their patience.

      Hope you feel better soon!

    2. It almost feels worse (rubs it in) to say I’ve accepted another offer, and therefore I am not joining on schedule.
      I’m thinking instead I’ll say that after thinking it over, I dont think this opportunity will work for me.
      Any thoughts? I know it is vague but perhaps they will feel less wronged.

      1. Sharing the fact that you have another offer isn’t rubbing it in. It will just clarify why you are leaving. I feel like this will eliminate questions in their minds. I wouldn’t be intentionally vague.

        1. I feel this way, too. They might be suspicious that you weren’t actually sick and just buying time to get the other offer, but I still think you’re better off being forthright that you got a materially better offer all things considered.

      2. Tell Company A that Company B gave you a better offer and you have accepted it. Maybe they will start a bidding war over you!

        Remember that as an at-will employee, you can leave at any time and they can fire you at any time. So you should feel free to leave Company A without guilt.

    4. Go with Company B; be kind but honest with Company A (bc it’s about money and benefits, it’s not personal); start with a phone call and follow up with an email if need be.

      I’m sorry you’re sick. Coughing at night is the very worst.

    5. Go with company B. I’ve made the choice to stick with company A in the past (but also for some personal reasons as well) and regret it. Or, at least, looking back, I wouldn’t make the choice again to turn down a better offer to avoid the perception of burning bridges.

      Company A has not yet invested in onboarding or training you. They will forget you. They may have other good candidates still waiting, too. So long as you do it politely, this is just a rational business decision.

    6. Perspective:

      Why would you commit to a job (for probably 3+ years) that you don’t like, to be paid badly and have no PTO, to avoid a hard conversation that companies are quite used to?

      1. The piddly amount of PTO seems an easy reason to bow out, considering the current illness has already impacted the start date. OP, just tell Company A you regret you cannot start Monday after all, as you received and accepted an offer with more pay and better benefits while convalescing. Wish them well, move on, and don’t worry about doing what is best for you.

    7. TAKE B OP! You don’t owe company A anything and their offer, while better than no job, would set your income back for the next few years. And Congrats!

    2. Hope she sees justice in a legal sense too. The loss of the job shouldn’t be sufficient.

      1. yeah she’s a terrible person and I have no sadness for her on a personal level, but it sort of feels like another example of mediocre white men failing up while women and minorities actually face consequences.

        1. I agree this happens all the time – but this isn’t that. There is a ton of this that fairly falls right on her shoulders for her own decisions. Check out some of the testimony from the last few weeks. She’s a criminal in addition to being completely incompetent. And a creep — let’s not forget the cosplaying as a cowgirl! Gross.

          1. My spouse works for FEMA… I agree – she is fully deserving of this and all consequences. She and she alone made some truly heinous policies.

          2. Did you guys see the WSJ story a week or two ago about how she and Corey are openly having an affair, and they were demanding a bigger plane so they could have more Mile High gardening, and how they got a pilot fired because she left her blankie on the plane (not sure how that was his fault but whatever).

            And in the Senate testimony a day or two ago — about the company that got 143M of taxpayer money for some contract but had only been incorporated 8 days earlier by the husband of an aide who had never before done the work?

            And of course the puppy…

      2. I honestly have no idea why anyone would ever work for Trump. They just end up being the fall guy and somehow he faces no consequences.

        1. …and right after I posted this, I open up the NY Times and see Lindsey Halligan is under investigation by the Florida bar. Trump really has the anti-Midas touch.

    4. Tokens get spent. A female figurehead being fired is completely unsurprising to me.

    5. I’m a Republican and I have intuitively disliked her since she first ran for governor of South Dakota. FWIW.

      So yay!!

      2. Same. The whole open affair also, that everyone has known about for years. Just ick.

  4. I knew this was Polene without even looking at the caption. Beautiful bag.

    I guess the model is one of those Quinn Emanuel partners who got dropped in Alaska and told to climb a mountain? The suit shows she misunderstood the assignment.

    1. Well if she’s a Quinn partner, this might be her “mountaineering Polene”, which is different from her “office Polene” and “diaper bag Polene”.

    2. When I looked at the photo at the top of this b!og post, I legit thought the handbag was hanging from a folded-up patio umbrella…

  5. Just a vent about my mom’s annoying boyfriend. They’ve been together since I was little but we’ve never meshed. He’s terrible with money and I’ve always hated that he mooches off a single mother. His efforts to be a Father Figure lead him to mansplain things to me.

    Last night he called me late at night long after the time he and my mother usually go to bed. I was terrified; my mother has been having heart problems and I thought something must have happened to her. No, they just got a spam/scam call about my condo in the city (my mom and I have the same name so wires sometimes get crossed) and he wanted to know if I’m selling it. No, I’m not, it’s an investment property. Then he suggested that I refi it to get a better rate (!). My rate is 2%, no of course I’m not going to refi rn. “Well you never know.” Yes, I do know. Then he suggested maybe I should call back the scammer (!!) because he offered a lot of money for my condo. No, I’m not going to do that. No, I don’t want you to do that. And no, that isn’t a lot of money. Then he talked my ear off about how “his investments” have tanked (what investments? You spend every cent you don’t make. You mean my mother’s investments? That you have no right to?). Thank god they don’t live in a common law marriage state.

    1. Your mother chose him. I’m sorry you never meshed but this seems so out of bounds rude. They are married and it’s fine if he wants to talk about your mom’s investments. Do you imagine she has nothing set aside for him if he dies first?

      2. What’s out of bounds rude? An anonymous vent?

        I disagree that he can talk to his stepdaughter about his wife’s investments. Their marriage and her mom’s choices aren’t any of her business, but yammering at an un-close stepdaughter late at night with unsolicited (and very dumb) financial advice is what is out of bounds rude, not this vent.

      3. OP says her mom and her mom’s boyfriend are not married, and there’s no reason for us to assume their investments are joint or that her mom’s boyfriend has a right to them.

        OP, this sounds frustrating! I own an investment property and receive spam calls about it all the time. I’d be highly annoyed if a family member called me and pestered me about selling it. I also get annoyed when people whine about their investments going down–it’s either because you’re whining about the market’s performance on one particular day or week, you panic sold, or you put your money in something risky like crypto without understanding it.

      4. talk about reading comprehension fail – she even says she’s glad they don’t live in a common law marriage state

      5. OP entertained his mansplaining when they spoke and she’s venting on the internet. She’s not rude. OP, if it’s any consolation plenty of people have hard working blood relatives who give unsolicited terrible advice. At this point I doubt your mom will tell him to stay in his lane so biting your tongue is the path of least resistance. It must’ve taken a lot of restraint not to tell him where to shove it.

        As to the freeloading…it’s frustrating but if they’ve been together for decades your mom isn’t going to see the light. Just make sure she’s taken estate planning seriously. This guy will make your life miserable if he thinks he can argue she meant to leave him more of her assets.

  6. Pale ladies (with blond hair if that makes a difference) – what are you doing about redness? My daughter is getting into skincare and I’m trying to figure out if any of the cicapair or other color correcting products work? I prefer skincare to makeup if possible, we’re not quite at the foundation stage yet.

    1. Have her checked out for rosacea by a dermatologist. I thought I was doomed to ruddy skin until my derm said I had rosacea. I responded well to Metrogel and my skin improved immensely.

      1. Second this and adding that untreated rosacea can have lasting effects. It’s not the same as discoloration or acne—it’s an actual irritant response.

    4. I am pale with freckles and mild rosacea. I really like Hero’s rescue balm with red correct, but my local store stopped carrying it recently. I picked up Dr. Jarts instead and it’s okay but greasier and a little more orange than is ideal for my skin tone.

      1. It seems like they’ve reformulated the Hero Cosmetics Rescue Balm and the new version isn’t as good. I’m sad because it was great for me. I’m going to try the Erborian one next.

    5. Ymmv but my mom had horrible redness due to irritation. I showed up with cicaplast and my red light mask and she was obsessed with both. I had to reclaim the fancy red light mask and buy her one for her birthday. She was thrilled when I said to keep the cream because it’s cheap. Cicaplast is a no frills staple for me especially in the winter.

      For color correcting redness I like the green hero rescue balm better than cicapair because cicapair is very thick. Hope they still make hero because I can’t find it on am@zon right now.

    6. I’d do a tinted sunscreen. Sun may be causing the redness. If it’s rosacea, sunscreen is all the more important. ELTA MD is a good place to start.

    7. Ask a derm, and if azaleic acid could help. I struggled with redness from acne but also rosacea since my early teens. This has helped manage the redness so well that i feel comfortable going without foundation or concealer.

      And sunscreen. Always sunscreen.

      1. Or mineral unblock if chemical sunscreens flare the rosacea (though they say Asian sunscreens are gentler)

  7. Anyone have a pep talk or tips I can lean on to steel myself in advance of shopping for a used car? There are several dealerships in my area with decent prices on a specific model I am interested in, but they are all so smarmy and high-pressure.

    1. I would look up the KBB for that car and know your number. In my experience saying you’ll walk away often helps negotiate.

    2. I only have my dad’s advice — be willing to walk away. Know before you go what you’ll pay and do not exceed that number.

      1. ^To this, I’d at least look on carvana/carmax – even if you end up buying in person, you’ll be armed with the knowledge “I can get X for $y, at a not-a-fantastic-deal-but-not-a-ripoff” price. Ie use them as your alternative to compare the in person lots to. Much easier to walk away when you have a backup plan that’s better than “shoot, if I don’t buy now, I gotta waste another Saturday on this”

    3. Go in with cash or your own financing. Make a list of your priorities in terms of mileage, age, condition, and warranty. Ignore “extras” that aren’t important to you. Insist on an independent inspection.

      You’re the one with the money. There are several dealerships with this specific model, so you’re not going to lose out by taking your time. Don’t let them pressure you.

      1. I found it helpful to take their financing and pay it off the next month. There was no prepayment penalty and they agreed to reduce the price by 14% from the kbb price at 1 year old for a brand new car.

    5. Test drive each. Do a long test drive – like take it home by yourself for an hour.

      After the test drive tell them
      You never buy on the same day you first test drive a car.

      Test drive each, get a loan from your bank not the dealership. Rank the cars and buy from whoever has the best combo of respectful treatment and the car you want.

    6. I hope this isn’t advice that is impossible to take:

      Go with the one that is the most reasonable. I’ve bought used cars three times in the last three years (one died of old age; DH was rear-ended and his car was totaled; I was in a hit and run and the car I had bought a year prior was totaled). All three times, I went with the dealership that was the most reasonable to me. Sure you can take the car to get a pre-purchase inspection at a place that’s in a different city! Sure we can put the car aside for you without a deposit. Oh you’re flying in because it’s 2023 and cars are impossible to find? Let’s pick you up at the airport, and if you don’t like it, we will give you your money back.

      If everyone is slimy, go with the one that allows you to take it to your mechanic for a pre-purchase inspection and has the most reasonable deposit terms (no deposit or you get it back if the mechanic finds problems). Or go with the one with the best warranty.

    7. Yeah, I think I’d rather know you got another offer. They might be frustrated, but it’s honestly the least personal reason people back out of an offer anyway, it’s not really a high drama reason that requires vagueness (like if you were backing out bc you realized Handsy Chadwick works there)

    8. Thanks, everyone. I know what price is fair and my number is firm. I don’t need the dealer for financing (although I will take them up on it if it’s cheaper than paying cash or using my own financing). I have zero qualms about walking if they are unreasonable. I’ve already blocked one dealer’s number after they spammed me with “buy now or it will be GOONNNEEE FOREVERRRRR” texts, played games with a quote that included multiple add-ons I expressly told them I didn’t want, and then insulted me as a “loser who doesn’t recognize a deal when she sees one” when I told them I was no longer interested. That’s one of the big name dealers in my area, and the rest are similar.

      With that context, I need more targeted advice: how do you actually negotiate with complete a-holes like this? I only need to deal with them for this one purchase so I don’t care what they think of me after. However, my desired vehicle isn’t commonly available on the private market or at smaller dealers where they have real humans as salespeople.

      1. You don’t. Since several dealerships have the car you want, keep trying until you find a salesperson who isn’t an a-hole.

        We buy new cars, but once we found a salesman we liked we have kept going back to him even if he knows we are going to buy from him so we don’t get quite as good a deal. I will not talk to anyone else from that dealership and insist on him. There isn’t much room for negotiation these days anyway since the dealers have all the power thanks to scarcity.

      2. Honestly? Bring a man to sit next to you, and just say nothing. Have them fold their arms in front of their body. Stare. And that’s it.

        Sad but true.

      3. I really would be okay with paying sticker price but it doesn’t end there. They then torture you will financing and warranties and blah blah. I need a new car and dread it so much.

      4. I always just ask for the out-the-door price from each dealer. I tell them you have one shot at it, so make it your best offer. Then I buy the one I like best. Make them include every fee, tax, etc. It’s the only way to compare apples to apples.

      5. Reach out to friends in other cities and find out who has a car dealer that has the car and is reasonable. Or post here with the make and model, as well as your rough geographic area, and look for suggestions.

        I wouldn’t buy a car in my city because the dealers all suck. That’s why I traveled to do it; it was less of a hassle than the dealers here would put me through.

    9. I have the solution! Test drive the cars to make sure you like them, hopefully you have a couple you like at that point.

      Then conduct EVERYTHING ELSE by e-mail. Do not pick up the phone, do not go in again. Send a e-mail to each dealership asking for the ALL IN, OUT THE DOOR price (inclusive of taxes, fees, registration, etc). Dealership A offers the car for $10,000 OUT THE DOOR. You e-mail dealership B and C and ask them to beat this number. They may or may not. You may go a couple rounds.

      Then pick a time to go in and do the paperwork for your car at the OUT THE DOOR price you agreed upon.

      My husband did this recently for our Subaru and it worked really well. One salesperson was too dense to figure it out and couldn’t respond to these e-mails in a logical way. The other 3 dealerships each went a couple rounds and we ended up getting the car for a very low price.

      Conducting the whole thing by e-mail (for the final out the door price) saves all the emotion and weird add ons and last minute stressful math that makes you feel like you are getting screwed over.

      Good luck!

  8. Has anyone done a trip to the Italian lakes? Any thoughts on where to stay? We already have some plans, but a few things have moved around and it looks like we may have 3-4 extra days. Open to other suggestions in Northern Italy too. Two adults, no kids. We love hiking, wine, and food, which doesn’t narrow it down in Italy too much ;)

    Consider the obvious tourist destinations (Venice, Milan, Cinque Terre, Florence, Rome, etc.) checked off. We’ll mostly be in Val d’Aosta. I don’t think we have time to do the Dolomites justice.

    1. I don’t think you should cross off the Dolomites. I mean, it’s like anything else, you’re not going to see the entire region in depth in 4 days but you can definitely get a taste for it. We have friends who just went to Bolzano and loved it. The Olympic stuff might still be there if that’s a draw.
      Also don’t know if you consider Bologna an obvious tourist destination or not, but we loved it. It’s a wonderful region for food and lots of easy day trips.

      1. Bologna/Modena are actually already under consideration–my husband has been getting into motorsports and I’ve never made it past the piazza outside the train station in Bologna. Just pulled up a map of the lakes and got immediately overwhelmed by all the cute tiny towns.

        The hubs doesn’t love repeat vacations, so if we venture into the Dolomites, I’d want more time there. Getting him to agree to go back to Italy with me after his senior year of high school bus trip is already a big step!

        1. We really enjoyed Bologna and Modena! Bologna was my favorite town that we visited – it’s lovely. My son is into motorsports and fancy cars and there were several museums and factory tours available in that general area. We also went to Turin and he enjoyed the National Automotive Museum there. The highlight of the trip for him was going to a track where he got to drive a Ferrari! That was outside Milan, but there were lots of options in different places to drive an Italian sports car.

          1. Yes, I’ve already been informed that he’ll be driving at least one very very fast car :)

    2. We stayed on Lake Garda and very much enjoyed the relatively-chill version of the lake scene as opposed to Como. Easy striking distance to lots of wineries around the area; we went to a few near Verona.

        1. Riva (northern tip) but explored around a bit, and the chill vibes in Bardolino were really fun for a lunch stop and easy wading/swimming. Sirmione was unique but the most “touristy” IMHO.

      1. Orta is definitely on the list if we decide to do lakes! I’ve heard it’s beautiful.

  9. Do you have a favorite lipstick that you can apply without a mirror? I am looking for something that is more like a stick gloss. They’re hard to find. I want a cool color payoff (preferably like a rose tint) that’s more substantial than a tinted lip balm. Bonus points for something in pretty or elegant packaging.

    1. I think Dior lip glow fits the bill here. It’s not quite as heavy as lipstick, but provides good color and a glossy finish. And the packaging is lovely!

      1. +1. The bright red colors are too bold to apply without a mirror IMO but the rest of them are great.

    2. I keep them in my coat pockets so yes all of these are without a mirror – Elf hydration core, Burt’s Bees, Romand Glasting Balm, Clinique black honey, Dior lip addict, Nars afterglow. i also keep Charlotte Tilbury’s glossier Icon Pink or whatever in my pocket.

    3. I’m hooked on Covergirl’s tinted lip balm in Bliss You Berry. It’s a dupe for Clinque’s Black Honey but I think the color has more staying power. I frequently apply without a mirror.

    5. Fresh Sugar tinted lip balm. Berry gives me a deep pinkish hue but not heavy enough to need a mirror.

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