Wednesday’s Workwear Report: Cap-Sleeve Cardigan
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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
I need to add some cardigans to my closet to prepare myself for summer air conditioning. This one from White House Black Market would be a great option for spicing up an otherwise basic outfit. The gold buttons are cute and the floral accent gives it a touch of whimsy.
Pair it with a midi skirt and a work-appropriate tee, and you’ll be set to go.
The sweater is $110 at White House Black Market and comes in sizes XXS-XL.
Sales of note for 4/24:
- Ann Taylor – Friends of Ann Event, 30% off your purchase PLUS $50 off $100! Readers love this popover blouse, and their suiting is also in the sale.
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Brooklinen – 25% off sitewide — we have and love these sateen sheets
- Evereve – Now through Sunday: up to 70% off! Markdowns include Alex Mill, Michael Stars, Sanctuary, Rails, Xirena, and Z-Supply
- Express – $39+ Summer Styles
- J.Crew – Friends & Family Event, 30% off your purchase! Good deals on blazers and boots
- J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything, extra 50% off clearance, and extra 20% off $125+
- Lands' End – 50% off full price styles and 60% off all clearance and sale – lots of ponte dresses come down under $25, and this packable raincoat in gingham is too cute
- Loft – Friends & Family event, 40% off entire purchase + extra 15% off + free shipping
- M.M.LaFleur – This weekend only, save 25% on dresses. Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off.
- Nordstrom – 1500+ new women's markdowns
- Sephora – Up to 50% off hair deals today only – includes Shark Beauty tools! (See our recent discussion on how to upgrade the Revlon brush.)
- Talbots – Friends & Family event, 30% off entire purchase – today only, free shipping, no minimum
- TOCCIN – Use code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off!
- Vivrelle – Looking to own less stuff but still try trends? Use code CORPORETTE for a free month, and borrow high-end designer clothes and bags!
Has anyone ever left a comfortable marriage because you feel like you’re missing out on something more? DH is my best friend and a great dad, but there is zero passion or romance, intimacy happens only once every month or two. I love him, but it feels more familial than romantic at this stage. When our kids were younger, it didn’t matter as much because I was so touched out, but now I wonder if I’m just settling for good enough rather than giving myself the space to see if there is something more for me.
How did you feel about him pre-kids ?
If that is your only issue I’d use my words first with someone who seems to be a good person who cares for you.
Yes, you may find someone else but also…there are many songs about this. Do you like pina coladas and getting caught in the rain?
If you value the person as a human being–they are good, kind, special and unique in their way, do what you can to stay. The number of good humans on the dating market is very small.
+ 1M to that last sentence.
“Excitement” may come with lives with parents, FICO score is 17, still in a “situationship,” has a rap sheet. IMO I loved the Diane Lane movie Unfaithful and found that it was an excellent movie, it was also a realistic look at how fun things end poorly in a way that sticks when you are north of 25.
How old are your kids now? If you are asking what I would do, I would not leave a comfortable marriage like you’re describing while my kids are still at home.
I would absolutely not divorce over this. A stable, boring family is an incredible gift.
+1. Being married to my best friend is a gift.
+2
Seriously.
Amen. Also romance comes and goes and there are ways to make things more interesting if you get it all out on the table and actually talk about it.
Have ya’ll done anything to address the lack of passion? This calls for a romantic trip together if budget allows. I would focus on re-establishing that connection as much as possible.
To be frank, absolutely unequivocally no. You do not do this. Value your marriage, your spouse as a person, and fix this instead of running away.
I’ve been where you are and agree with this comment. Do what you can to re-invest in him. Flirt. Smile. Whatever you need to do. He’s your best friend.
Is it possible he also wishes that there could be more passion or romance but hasn’t been making it the priority, but you could talk this through? Especially if you were feeling touched out before, it sounds like you are describing a phase and a common development in a long term relationship that would eventually happen again with a new partner and would need to be addressed then anyway.
You would be an absolute insane crazy person filled with regret if you do this. No honey no. This is called marriage. You do not throw this away.
this sounds like a midlife crisis or expecting marriage to look like a rom com. invest in your marriage!
Okaaaay, so here I am on the other side of a divorce. Every situation has pros and cons. The pros for me is that I lead a wonderful, independent life. I travel with the children and am able to have life adventures in a way that can’t or won’t happen for a woman with a partner. The cons are that sometimes I miss romantic love in my life. I am beyond happy with my decisions. I didn’t leave because of romance or intimacy (although it was gone). I left because he was an emotionally abusive alcoholic. So it is a different situation but I can offer you a glimpse in single life.
Here’s my 2 cents – it’s not that easy to get l..aid. I am fit, attractive, successful, great personality. I have lots of options! But I don’t like them. The reality is that there aren’t that many stable, good looking (ish), funny, smart guys out there. I am not complaining at all. I love my life. After a traumatizing marriage, I don’t care if I ever end up with a partner again! But you have different motivations for considering leaving, and I think it’s worth noting it’s not guaranteed that you will find passion or romance as a single person.
I think this is really good perspective.
Going through some medical things now and I feel that I likely would not date a lot as a widow (50s). I don’t think I’d want to date the people available to date. I feel that I know more widows than I thought I would, starting in my late 30s (and a few widowers). Two people with young kids remarried. I know a lot of divorced women and a few have dated, but have often hated it. They feel that they are chasing too few quality men and everyone has issues if they are old enough to have kids. Some with objectively bad marriages don’t miss the bad marriage, but most haven’t been able yet swap that for a quality relationship.
Do you have fun together? I’m asking because something I’ve often thought about during my marriage was this article: https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-21940297 It argues that the foundations of a good marriage are lust, laughter, and loyalty – “kept in constant passage, transitively, back and forth, so that as one subsides for a time, the others rise” – and you pass between loyalty and lust by way of laughter. It’s been so true for my own marriage, so personally, I wouldn’t go straight to either divorce or a romantic getaway. I would start by trying to have more fun and then see where it leads.
Your best friend and a great dad versus, hoping you find a high quality single man who is great in bed as a single
Mom?
Have sex more often for a few months and see how you feel then. You should initiate in whatever way feels best.
Spending the rest of your life with a best friend and great dad sounds pretty good tbh.
This sounds ideal–life with the perfect partner AND no pressure to put out on a regular basis to keep him happy?!?
Some of you love telling on yourselves as incapable of directing traffic so your pleasure bus also arrives at the station.
I have a fashion question for an EMT class I finally got into.
I need to buy a pair of black tactical boots, 3/4 top or higher. What do I look for? I’m going to the uniform shop tomorrow. I’m usually OK in a women’s 9 for anything I can wear with socks (doc martins, etc). Is there a good type to look for? I imagine it’s usually stocked with mens sizes, which is probably OK with thicker socks. I’m just wearing these to class and not otherwise except for mandated ride-alongs. Pleather would be OK as long as they are not uncomfortable.
I also need to buy a stethoscope. Any advice for that?
I’ve done NOLs first aid training before and this is my first non-NOLs one and we just had to take pulses before, so it will be a new purchase and IDK how to figure out what to do. Having one was mandated but not any particular one.
I imagine whatever company is operating the course would have recommendations for what gear to buy?
No — it’s a community college and it’s just a stethoscope and 3/4 boots. Maybe the uniform store will have limited types or some advice (but also: they are selling me something). It’s probably not $$$ since the store outfits county uniformed services. But not my normal shopping scene.
My husband was an NREMT and a firefighter and for class and other non-field work, he preferred mid or high top Vans to boots. Said the boots were hot and needlessly clunky for most applications. If boots are mandated because of toe reinforcement, that’s something to consider. Good
Luck!
I think we have to have them for ride-alongs and those are mandatory. I get that once you pass all this, they maybe let you pick your footwear for further trainings.
I have only run into grave trouble with flat shoes / boots that are too small, now that I think of it. Socks counter any issues with rubbing. It’s pumps / heels that really fail the road test (even if they are fine with in-store walking). I just want avoid buying a Red Wing Shoes level purchase if that’s possible. I know that Walmart sells this sort of item, but imagine that maybe that’s the other extreme of quality.
Totally makes sense.
Avoid the walmart level boots, and consider if you can find a hiking boot you can try on at an REI or outdoor store that also comes in all black. Order those? Probably doable for mid 100s vs Redwing prices, while still being comfortable and safe.
Oh, and get something water repellant/ resistant, if possible.
EMT here – I like a sort of sneaker/tactical boot hybrid (my current pair is from under armor and I can’t find the exact pair, but they’re similar to this: https://reebokwork.com/sublite-cushion-tactical-rb086/). They’re a little lighter/more comfortable than a heavy boot but still reinforced. For a stethoscope, I bought a littman for my class, but you don’t need one that expensive. You don’t use them in the field that much because there is usually too much ambient noise, so it’s mostly just for class.
For stethoscopes I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone not use a Littman. Good luck!
Any recs on where to stay in NYC for a girls weekend in June? Looking to spend no more than $500/night. Also, if you’ve done something like this, did you assume each friend would get her own room or would you offer to share?
How old are you and how even are people’s budgets? At 40+ my priority is my own space and sleep quality over saving a few hundred dollars to share a room.
2 nights in a girls-weekend neighborhood could be $1000. At that point, that’s some good meals out, tickets to something, etc.
We usually share two to a room so we can get a better hotel. $500 in NYC is going to be tough.
+1 – a room with 2 queen beds and 2 ppl per room is my usual approach. I refuse to share a bed in my 40s!
I appreciate having my own room in general, but given this budget in NYC, I would also share two to a room so you can stay somewhere nicer.
Did this and shared. In Weehawken to save $ and enjoy the ferry ride. It’s a weekend to see each other and wouldn’t separate rooms be at odds with that? In NYC you are really just sleeping there, no?
At NYC price point I’d be way more inclined to share, plus you get more time together. I say this someone who both needs my sleep and is a very light sleeper, so it is somewhat dependent on having a compatible friend to share with. Somewhere cheaper, I might lean more toward your own rooms. Obviously individual budgets and sleep preferences differ.
Same.
I know from prior trips that some college friends snore now. We are old enough friends that we have done up to 5/room. 2/room would be ideal now, with the snorers sharing one together.
+1. Gotta love my close, longtime friends!
I secretly want us to get our own rooms because I snore…
Park Lane is an affordable place that might be right at your budget. I have stayed multiple times for girls weekends and with my family. It’s right at the edge of Central Park so it’s nice to just go out the front door to the park.
The Wallace and the Artehouse on the UWS are both nice enough and not usually super expensive. UWS is a very nice neighborhood. It is a straight shot downtown if you want to go out to eat or hang out in the West Village. Also easy to get to Midtown. Close to Central Park. The Met and the Frick are an easy walk across the park.
I’m looking for birthday gift ideas for a new friend. She is a producer for ESPN and loves what she does. She loves sports and animals (she has several dogs and cats) and she usually drinks wine when we go out. I’m usually a good gift giver but I’m drawing a blank. I don’t have a large budget – maybe $40. Just looking for something small.
I hope you get a lot of good suggestions. You provided a lot of detail.
I opt out of giving gifts for just this reason–the likelihood of spending $40 on the wrong thing. I’d be more apt to offer to meet up for a post-work glass of wine and cover the birthday girl’s bill. Maybe a specialty cupcake/individual sized cake (chocolate, rum, etc.) in an individual box?
Does she have a favorite team or a college team she likes? I’d get her some cut flowers in those colors (if possible) or just go out for drink / dessert.
I get personalized notepads or notecards on Etsy for this. And don’t let the gift haters talk you out of doing something like this. My other go-to is a luxury lip product, like Dior lip glow.
Yes, but only if you have enough time. Etsy can take forever if you need something by the weekend. I do like the lip glow idea.
Look around, there are some that arrive in a few days.
These are cute ideas.
i like to go with an inexpensive version of something inexpensive– a gift certificate to a real salon for a mani? a nice hand lotion? don’t know where you are but if she’s a newish friend maybe plan to take out for a not expensive but fun meal (like we just want to a pizza place that had a 5 course “supper club” for $40, somthing like that)
A book you’ve recently liked. Theo of Golden is my current go-to recommendation. Related story: I have a male cousin who calls me about twice a year, usually for no reason. Love him, love the calls. Anyway, he called me the other day to tell me about this fabulous book he is reading, and I interrupted to say, “Is it Theo of Golden?” It was. He had not even finished it yet and couldn’t wait to tell me about it.
What would you do?
Job 1- fully remote role finding teapot makers for several different companies. Commission based, averages around 170k a year but fluctuates. Always on because any time off is a possible deal lost. No advancement opportunities.
Job 2- hybrid. 2 days a week in office, hour commute each way mostly on train. Base salary of 200k plus bonus. Find teapot makers just for this company, plus assist with their onboarding. Can take time off. More advancement opportunities. Stable company but this is a new role for them.
Mid 30s, 3 kids.
How good are you at finding teapots? Option 2 sounds better either way, but if you’re really good at it and want to be remote, choose 1.
2 could give you the opportunity to pick up other HR work and broaden your skill set, plus it’s more money and real PTO… the commute 2x a week would be totally fine with me as a tradeoff for that.
also, 1 sounds like the kind of job that is not as hard to find, if you take 2 and decide you’d rather have gone with 1.
This is a really, really good point. If you hate the commute, Job 1 will always exist again. Job 2 might not.
OP here and you’re correct. Job 1 is easy to find, Job 2 more rare especially at the salary they’re offering me.
Part of my hesitation is being a job hopper- I’ve been at my current role for almost four years, but my last two roles were each only 2.5 years. It’s not uncommon in my industry, but I still feel weird about it.
Are you the one who posted a few days ago with a bunch of 2 to 2.5 year stints? If so, and you are a recruiter, I absolutely don’t think of that timeline as job hopping. That seems industry standard. You got answers from people who think that would be a little bit of a red flag if you were an associate at a law firm (which it takes that long for issues to arise). Not in the recruiting world though.
Also, life is freaking short. If you had only been at Job 1 hustling for 6 months, maybe it would be a question. But after 4 years of hustling, go with the stable job, and see if you like it.
yeah, if you were the recent poster, I wouldn’t think of your job history (2-3 years per job) as negative in the recruiting world, vs. normal. I was thinking of it from a new law school grad perspective.
Definitely 2. Hour commute isn’t great but only 2x week and mostly on train would make it bearable for me. Sounds like a better long term plan. At this stage in my life (late 30s but no kids) “always on” sounds awful to me. Which do you think you would enjoy more?
2 absolutely no question. How is this even a debate for you?
I’m genuinely curious – why add the second question? Is that something you would say to a person in real life? As in, are you in the habit of asking rhetorical questions that seemed aimed at making the person feel dumb, or are you asking if she really has a reason for considering job 1?
It is putting a fine point on the fact that 2 is obviously the right answer.
It is a really obnoxious way to convey that sentiment. Also, it clearly isn’t, given that she posted it as a question, and folks have thoughts.
I’m sorry you can’t handle rhetorical flourish on the internet.
I am not the OP, but this would not be a slam dunk choice for me. Three little kids is a lot (I also have three children), and never having to commute makes a world of difference in my day-to-day. I am not sure I would take a job with an hour commute 2x per week.
Though, I will say that OP’s option 1 don’t sound stellar either, despite wfh.
Ha, I’m sorry you can’t handle honest feedback about how you sound on the Internet!
It wouldn’t be a slam dunk for me, and it clearly isn’t for her – again – bc she posted here asking about it. I also have 3 kids, but my husband travels a lot. I have a kid who gets sick easily, and it would be tricky to be an hour away by train because she often needs to be picked up urgently. My income is secondary, and I would (and do) take flexibility over maximizing my income. So /shrug/ your experience and feedback is not universal, your rhetorical question did sound obnoxious, and just like you are entitled to post obnoxious one liners, I am entitled to provide the feedback that it sounded obnoxious :)
HI! I know there are some New Mexico commenters on this board. I’m on the east coast and am desperately trying to find some red chile powder online that isn’t from walmart and doesn’t come in a Ziplock bag.
I only need to do this every few years or so and the past options don’t appear to be available. Options you can share?
I’m not from New Mexico, so I’m probably missing nuances here, but I would look at Penzey’s, the Spice House, and Burlap and Barrel. I’ve been happy with spices from all of these places, and they all sell at least some sizes in glass jars.
I’d try the Chimayo Chile Shop or the Made in New Mexico online store.
THANK YOU! The Made in New Mexico store was NOT popping up on my google search, weirdly.
Also not from NM, but Rancho Gordo, who I trust on quality of product and good customer service, sells some in 2 oz jars.
I’m having a career crisis. I’m a staff counsel attorney in a non prestigious practice at an insurer. I mostly liked my job but things are shifting in my current gig after I jumped two years ago. It’s Deja vu from the last place and I am so done. I can feel in my bones that I just can’t do this forever, with tiny raises and micro managing and zero prestige.
I constantly feel like I’m selling myself short, settling for such a small job and career. I’m already in my mid forties. Is there any way out of this? do I hire a career coach? Is that even a thing for low achieving professionals? Or am I just worthless after having a less prestigious career?
My law degree can from a good if not great school, I did reasonably well there. I just settled into this for the lifestyle and now that my youngest is in kindergarten I’m ready to do something else.
At some point you have to stop jumping around and settle in and make your situation better. Tired of small raises? Stop being an associate and start doing what it takes to make partner. You will never advance if you keep jumping every couple of years. Advancement takes time and investment.
By way of background I spent 13 years in my previous position. My title and salary changed twice but no major promotions.
What do you want to do? What specific changes would you like to see in your career?
How is the money?
All of us have to let go of our most unrealistic ambitions and embrace reality at some point. But that doesn’t mean embracing misery.
Does anyone have a Sienna with the slots / rails in the back to adjust the second row of seats? I vetoed this with younger kids because I just imagine how encrusted they’d get — crumbs, diaper blowouts, vomit. I went with an Odyssey then. 15 years later, even the Odyssey has the slot / rail adjustments, and the Sienna has an AWD hybrid. If you have the Sienna in AWD, do you love it? Do you just put other mats over the rails (now it’s mud and dog hair and still some snacks) that you can easily clean? I’m glad they still offer a spare tire when that feature is getting hard to find.
My prior recollection is that the Odyssey felt like more of a driver’s care and the Sienna felt plusher for the passengers but was a very mushy feeling driving experience. I envision needing a giant hauler for 6ish more years.
I loooove my AWD Sienna, and the fact that it’s a hybrid. I’m such a huge fan of this car, I could tell everyone. We do have the rails and honestly I’ve not noticed any issues. We do get it vacuumed out like once a month. I have a 3 and 5 year old, and we’ve had the car since 3 yo was 2 months old.
Also, test drive the Sienna, even my husband who’s very particular with cars, loves driving it. It’s a very nice ride. And truly the AWD/Hybrid part really seals the deal.
I have read your question like three times, and I’m laughing bc it literally never would have occurred to me not to buy a car bc of rails in the back. I know exactly what you are talking about, but I never even considered not buying a car bc of it :) I’ll now think of you any time I go buy a car.
But also, I would just go drive them and see. I had picked out the best car for our family, and went to test drive/hated it. I would just go find the one YOU are most comfortable in, and not worry about the rest.
IDK where people live but we can’t even test drive cars like this because they arrive pre-sold and what on the lot to drive are the worst trim lines (like what is in a rental fleet that often are not the best representation of what the car you want will be like). It is very frustrating.
We had this problem when we bought a car two years ago. We were interested in a hybrid and all they had to test drive was the gas model, which is not at all the same. We ended up checking the inventory daily and calling up our preferred salesman when one finally did arrive that was not already sold. We rushed down to test drive it and bought it the same day.
But the trim doesn’t impact the drive ability? I would drive what you want, and then pick out the trim you like.
It does! I test drove the nicer version of my model and hated it- the driving features were distracting and I couldn’t stand the infotainment system. I would’ve abandoned that model if I didn’t get a chance to drive the mid level trim.
100% yes; especially if you are comparing hybrid to gas
Interesting!! I haven’t purchased a car for over 10 years, so this is fun to consider.
AWD Sienna is a beast on snow and ice.
I have the odyssey and we love it EXCEPT that it is absolutely awful in snow. We don’t drive it in bad weather. If it will be your primary car in bad weather and you live in a snowy/icy area, get the sienna.
We have an acura MDX that we take in the snow and ice and that is an absolute tank. I did lose control of it this winter and slid across and across a highway ( truly miraculously didn’t hit anyone or anything and recovered!) but for the next 4 miles there were FIFTEEN cars on the side of the road so I feel like that was an exception and the road should have been closed. In that weather my Odyssey for sure would have been wrecked.
I have an AWD hybrid CRV and it makes me almost cry that Honda won’t make a minivan version like this. The CRV has been amazing on horrible mountain roads and I’d love it larger (but did not like the Pilot at all).
IDK. I test-drove both and hated how the Sienna felt as a driver. I’m now on my second Ody, so clearly that’s where my loyalty lies!
I am keeping the Ody because it’s paid for and only has 100K miles (I feel like that’s the break-in period), but with gas so expensive won’t buy another car that’s not a hybrid :(
This sweater definitely appeals to me. Reminds me of something I would have worn in the 90’s (I graduated high school in 94, college in 98). It would have been cotton or wool and the flower embroidered onto it.
Need to share something kind of exciting and I know there are other equestrians here!
I am horse shopping (hunters) and my trainer found a really cute mare that is below my budget and has a lot of potential. This will be a project horse for me with the goal of selling in 12-18 months. She’s young and has a little bit of training but we can train her up properly. She jumps cute over tony jumps and is a good mover!
We are trying to figure out schedules to go look at her/ride her. Of course there are more steps to get through before a successful purchase but it’s fun to be excited about a prospect!!
Anyone else have something exciting or fun going on in their lives?!
*tiny jumps!
Congrats! That is very exciting!!
Good luck, I hope your trial ride goes well! And also all the other steps between that and actually buying her lol. Horse shopping is such a weird and specific experience.
I primarily event but am dipping my toe into the hunter waters this year, partially in an attempt to fix some ongoing issues with getting handsy and overriding. We just did our first hunter rounds at a local show last weekend. Our warmup trip was quite theatrical since madame took exception to some unknown blade of grass or grain of sand, and then decided that she could not possibly change without flinging her body into some exciting shapes…but the brain came back online for our real trips and we somehow pinned in both over fences classes! She has a super cute, very correct jump but is not a hunter mover at all, so I was honestly shocked to pin since we were just there for the experience. So there’s a fun day in another corner of equestrian land.
We’re in the preliminary stages of designing a 4-bedroom guest cottage/pool house with an architect. I’ve never owned a second home, much less a guest cottage at a second home, and I want to make sure we’re covering all our bases. Of course we’re relying on our architect for a lot of this, but figured I’d ask here as well. Whether you’ve owned one or have stayed in one, do you have any suggestions for must-haves in a guest house? Pet peeves or things that would just be nice extras? One thing that occurred to me this morning was to have the architect design custom (maybe even pocket-door type) baby gates at bottom and top of stairs for guests who are coming with babies/toddlers. TIA!
Never enough towel racks. Need a washer dryer for all that pool stuff that will be wet.
Yes we will definitely have a laundry room. Say more about towel racks. Do you mean in bathrooms or in the laundry room?
Not the OP of this comment, but for me, it’s in the bathrooms. Let’s say a bathroom is serving two people. Are there towel racks for 4 wet towels? Generally not.
In bathrooms. Also a robe hook by the shower so you don’t have to drip all over to get to your towel.
Towel racks in the bathroom. Hooks in the laundry room. You won’t always have time to do laundry and you don’t want a wet towel sitting in the hamper for a week.
If you’ll host multiple families consider a bunk room for the kids and a bathroom designed for multiple users (separate water closet, shower with a curtain, two sinks, mirror over a counter or vanity).
Make the bedrooms equally desirable- similar size and en suite bathroom for all of them. Otherwise room assignments become political.
We have a second home, and your set-up sounds DREAMY!
This is super fun, so I’ll tell you what we’ve loved and wished for:
1) En suite in each bedroom. I love this as a guest and as a host. We often end up hosting families who don’t know each other well, and I think everyone appreciates not having to share a bathroom with folks they don’t know well.
2) Find a place out of primary living spaces for a bunk room (under the stairs, in the attic, or in a basement), even if you don’t have kids or only have one kid. Guests with kids have more room to spread out in their rooms if the kids have a place to gather, and they congregate in the room where the bunks are. If you have kids, they have a place for sleepovers. We will eventually turn our attic into a playroom/bunk room – with built in bunks along the walls, and an open area to play and congregate.
3) Sound proof, sound proof, sound proof. For some reason, noise from the kitchen goes straight into our primary bedroom, and (sadly) vice versa. I’d love to not hear early riser guests get coffee in the morning. And we have to be mindful that noise from our room goes straight downstairs.
4) a HUGE porch with lots of chairs/places to sit outside to watch the pool/read/spread out from inside.
5) Don’t put down flooring that you will have to baby, especially if there is a pool or other water source. Our second home is on a lake, and I deeply appreciate that I don’t have a bunch or rules or have to internally cringe when guests walk in with wet feet or drop their wet towels or dogs are at the house. I guess to that end, since you are designing it, have a great drop space with washer/dryer and TONS of places to hang towels when guests walk into the house. I’d kill for a mud room set up, with cubbies with hooks and an erasable name over the cubby. Each guest could hang their towel in their cubby for the duration of the stay, rather than hanging in their room or you having to wash one million loads bc no one keeps track of their towel.
This is fun! I’ll think of more…
Other fun things I’d add if money was no object :)
1) Multiple appliances – dishwashers, ovens, and fridges, ideally that are close to each other. We end up using a sun room as spillover for food storage, and it isn’t ideal.
2) door from kitchen with access to a grill and outdoor dining area.
3) Two washers/dryers :)
Long reply in mod! But I love this question.
For a pool house, outdoor access straight into a restroom that can handle getting completely hosed down.
-real laundry space + racks for drying non-dryer stuff (swimwear)
-never enough hooks and towel racks in the bathroom
-the best bathroom exhaust fans money can buy
-good wifi everywhere
-perhaps counterintuitive, but appliances that are *no-brainers* to operate. This is not the place for super-high-end “the buttons appear when you wave at this corner of the dishwasher” choices.
Who will be the guests? Are you going to be in the primary building with friends/family staying in the guest house or will you be doing something like renting the guest cottage to strangers while staying in the primary?
We just moved into our house that we designed with an architect. Things we did that are nice to have: heated floor in the primary bath, a laundry chute from second floor that drops down right outside the laundry room (hidden in hallway built-ins), large garage sink for muddy things, a mud room with an under-counter area sized to fit a dog crate, and a second dishwasher.
Make sure you’re leaving room in your budget for window treatments after construction is done – they are $$$ but really affect the final look.
I wish we did built-in hampers in the closet and put more outlets in closets for charging things. Look at “This Oak House” on instagram – it’s Nancy Myer’s daughter’s account all about renovating her historic home in LA and has TONS of great ideas and tips.
Finally pay attention to window locations – if you’re doing built in shelves/cabinets on the wall perpendicular to a window, center the window on the wall based on the edge of the future shelf, not the actual wall corner. We have one window that looks off center because we forgot to do this and it makes me a little crazy.
Get one or more of those gorilla lines that live in the wall but can be pulled out for a drying rack.
Large sink. Maybe do different showers in different rooms (rain shower, jet, etc) to allow people to try different things? Towel warmers. Outlets near the beds that are free for guests. Washer/dryer somewhere nice and not scary like basement with perilous stairs. Possibly a bidet? Outdoor shower?
You may want to think about disability accommodations if you think grandparents might come. Showers and pool easy to get into.
Even if you don’t add a kitchenette, make sure there’s a coffee station. Counter space for a Keurig or Nespresso, tiny sink, small fridge under the counter for creamers. Cupboard for mugs. My cousin’s house has this in the guest wing and it’s blissful to be able to make and drink a cup of coffee before going to the kitchen to face the family over breakfast.
Any advice on how to approach this?
I am a very new manager to a report who is new to her role. She is an internal promotion, very curious and interested in learning all that she can about our work, which I do not want to discourage. However, she asks a LOT of questions, sometimes so many and so often that I struggle to focus on my own work. These are good questions, and they are about internal processes or background information that I cannot direct her to look up on her own, nor can I anticipate all of her questions when we first approach a project. Much of the time she does need a response in order to move forward. I do not want to hold up her ability to do her work, but I do need to do my own job and not just be her full-time teacher. We have regular check-ins and she will save up more involved queries for those meetings, but there are still so many little questions that I feel like I am becoming her personal office wiki. How can I better balance this?
Clearly she wasn’t provided with adequate training and documentation. That is your responsibility to provide.
Or she has far exceeded initial expectations. Take your judgement and shove it.
One hallmark of a good manager is self-reflection.
Yikes go eat something babe
You continue to engage with her. It will abate over time as she grows into the role.
Two thoughts:
– ask her to batch even these little questions – she could send you an email once or twice a day, depending
– as she’s gathering answers to her questions, have her put together SOPs, an onboarding guide, etc so you don’t have to do this again :)
+1 both of these things, they were exactly my suggestions.
The second thing is really useful to ask new people to do, since writing it out reinforces their understanding, you can review it so that you know they actually understood what you told them, and it’s helpful for the next person.
The most effective way a senior partner helped me with this was by asking “can you walk me through what resources you’ve looked at so far?” And then “what do you think our next step should be?” Making her talk about her process like that sharpens her judgment and her research skills.
It sounds like this is a problem that can’t last forever, but also it sounds like the answers need to be better documented so that they can be looked up in the future?
If you don’t have time to answer and she needs a response to move forward, then you may need to be comfortable with her not moving forward, or she may need something else to do when she’s waiting on an answer.
Normally I would encourage you to encourage her to try to find the answers herself, but it sounds like that is legitimately not something she can do. I’ve been in your direct report’s shoes and you just need to be her office wiki until she’s up to speed. How else can she learn what she needs to learn to do her work? It’s totally reasonable and necessary for her to turn to you for background info. In addition to regular check ins, can you offer “office hours” on a daily basis so that questions are corralled and it doesn’t interrupt your focus as much?
Have her develop documentation. You can give her other people to consult to help with this, but if you’re the only person who can answer these questions it seems like documentation is a critical need.
How much emphasis are you putting on her doing the job the exact way you would do it? If she’s free to accomplish tasks however she sees fit, within reason, she won’t ask so many questions. If you expect (or dare I say require) her to do things exactly as you would do them, yes, she’s going to ask a ton of questions to make sure she doesn’t make “mistakes”.
Set up a 15-minute checkpoint with her a few times a week to batch the little questions? Honestly, I’d be grateful to have this ‘problem’ with a new hire – the fact that they are paying attention to getting the context and undocumentable advice right (like office politics or budget plays a role, etc?) is great.
My academic department is hosting a symposium with guest speakers on Friday, which obviously I have to attend. I also have to go to the dinner for the speakers on Thursday night.
Planned outfits:
1. Black silk shell and black pants with a colorful silk dupioni overshirt and flats or boots, depending on weather.
2. Dark green blazer and tonal green top with black pants and the same shoes.
Which do I wear to which event?
what academic discipline are you in? I ask because I am a tenured humanities prof at a SLAC and these are fancier than I would wear (not bad! they sound cute!). I would wear the black shell and overshirt to dinner and the blazer and top to the symposium itself.
Yeah, I’m in STEM and I don’t think I’ve ever seen anyone in my department wear a blazer, except the occasional person interviewing. I wouldn’t dress any different for a symposium than I normally do, unless this was really a big deal with big money donors or something?
If she’s a law professor, these sound reasonable.
Wait, I missed the overshirt. I’d have to see the outfit, but that may not be reasonable for a law professor event.
Option 2.
The overshirt outfit sounds like something my local librarian would wear at the checkout desk, not like symposium attire.
Hello from a fellow academic. Wear the colorful overshirt to dinner (a more social occasion) and the blazer to the symposium.
given these choices I would probably go with the silk shirt for dinner (trusting that you know your audience; that would stand out in a bad way for lawyers!) and the blazer for the symposium.
Outfit 2 for the symposium unless you are in a discipline where quirkiness enhances legitimacy, in which case outfit 1. Outfit 1 or similar is fine for the dinner if you are the sort of person who wears overshirts.
“where quirkiness enhances legitimacy” is SUCH a perfect description of certain corners of academia yesss