The Hunt: Work-Appropriate T-Shirts
This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
Sure, we all know what basics professional women are supposed to have in their closets, but if you're buying one for the first time or replacing one you've worn into the ground, it can be a pain to find exactly the right incarnation in stores. In “The Hunt,” we search the stores for a basic item that every woman should have.
We just rounded up stylish blouses for work, but I thought we'd take a look at that other versatile layering piece: work-appropriate T-shirts, aka business casual T-shirts for women, dressy T-shirts for work, or your basic layering tees.
Which are the best tees for layering under blazers, cardigans, and more? What qualities do you look for in a work-appropriate T-shirt, how many do you own, and how long do you expect your tees to stay looking new? In general, what do you think are the most office-appropriate T-shirt styles?
{related: do check out our regularly updated list of wardrobe essentials for work!}
Looking for the best work-appropriate T-shirts? As of 2025, some of our favorite dressy T-shirts for work are from Amazon Essentials, Theory, Everlane, J.Crew, Banana Republic, Nic + Zoe, and Vince — also check our posts on opaque white tees and the best plus-size tees for work!
Why Work-Appropriate T-Shirts are a Wardrobe Essential
Business casual T-shirts are great for days when the temperature is in flux (or the office radiator is on the attack), as well as a way of injecting some color into your wardrobe to mix up the sea of neutral basics.
Try them belted, tucked, untucked, or layered (I especially like a simple tee under a suit), and remember — if you're wearing them to work, T-shirts should be in impeccable condition.
They're also generally very easy to care for — typically machine washable, and they generally don't require ironing. (As a bonus, if you wear a T-shirt as a layering piece underneath a blazer or a sweater, it can help you save on your laundering needs for the piece layered on TOP as well, because the T-shirt will catch most of your body sweat.)
{related: stylish tops for under suits}
What to Look For in a Great Business Casual T-Shirt for Women
In my mind, the perfect work T-shirt:
- is opaque
- is thick enough to not show the outline of your bra
- keeps its shape throughout the day (and after several washes)
- retains color evenly after numerous washes
- looks like a perfect basic — not too memorable or trendy
{related: how to elevate a simple T-shirt}
Furthermore, a work T-shirt should be something designed to be seen — you should be able to take your blazer off during the day without worrying that it's see-through, clinging to your bra, too low cut, tattered or torn, or otherwise too casual.
Which Business Casual T-Shirts Aren't Dressy Enough?
Personally, I think any pockets will usually make a tee too casual for a conservative office, as does a wider rib trim at the neckline. I love my relaxed slub T-shirts for the weekend, but I think a slub knit or linen blend would make it too casual for work, as would a pattern like a space-dye.
Finally, while a tank top can be great for certain situations, it isn't always the best for layering for two reasons. First, it won't necessarily be appropriate to wear by itself at your office (see our last discussion on whether going sleeveless is professional — know your office!), and second, it may necessitate more laundering and dry-cleaning than a T-shirt would because a T-shirt would cover your armpits and protect the top layer from sweat.
(But: If you want a seamless look and just want to add opacity/raise a neckline, a camisole for work, demi-camisole, or tank top is definitely the look for you.)
What Are the Best Shirts to Wear Under Sweaters?
The Best Layering Tees for Women
If you want to wear an easily washed shirt under a sweater so that your sweater needs less laundering, any of the cotton or jersey sweaters below will work great (especially the ones at the top of this post!). I'm particularly fond of options with lower necklines like scoopnecks or squarenecks because they usually don't interfere with sweater necklines. (But you should always match the two necklines as closely as possible.)
How to Get That Preppy Layered Look with Sweaters
If you want that preppy layered look with a collar, cuffs, or shirttail hanging out beneath a sweater, we would recommend either going for a silky button-front blouse, a twofer sweater, or a fake collar.
Hunting for great fake collars for layered work outfits? As of Jan. 2024, Amazon has a zillion options for fake shirt collars as well as faux turtlenecks; also check out Etsy seller Putney Home Design as well as others. On the fancy side of things, it's hard to beat Lele Sadoughi's faux collars. (Amazon also has a number of twofer sweaters, with that layered look built in!)
(Of course, if you're looking for a dickey to layer with a blazer, Veronica Beard makes the blazers and the dickeys — Quince also has zippered inserts for blazers.
Our Latest Favorite Work Appropriate T-Shirts
The Best Dressy T-Shirts for Work in Regular Sizes
Looking for the best work-appropriate T-shirts? As of 2025, some of our favorite dressy T-shirts for work are from Amazon Essentials, Theory, Everlane, J.Crew, Banana Republic, Nic + Zoe, and Vince — also check our posts on opaque white tees and the best plus-size tees for work!
The Best Professional T-Shirts in Plus Sizes
Easy Sweater Tees for Work Outfits
Some of our favorite short-sleeved sweater tees for 2025 include cashmere ones from Quince ($45!), Ann Taylor, Theory, J.Crew,* and Boden. (* plus sizes too!) For other materials, try Tuckernuck (cashmere/silk), J.Crew Factory (100% cotton), and Amazon (viscose/poly). Nordstrom and Anthropologie both have a huge selection of sweater tees, also! (All of the ones below come in white and black, as well as other colors!)
Where to Find Business Casual T-Shirts for Women in Sophisticated Prints
Looking for T-shirts with fun but professional prints for 2025? Some classic brands to check include Boden and The Kit. These may be on the more casual side, but also look at Lilly Pulitzer and Sanctuary.
The Quest for Silk T-Shirts for Work
As of 2025, some of our favorite silky T-shirts include Halogen, Quince, Cuyana, M.M.LaFleur, and Banana Republic. This Banana Republic Factory top is only polyester, but readers have been loving it!
Interesting & Feminine T-Shirts for Work
These no-button styles are all just a little bit different, interesting, and generally fabulous. Some of our latest favorites are below!
As of 2025, some of our favorite dressy tops for work outfits include ones from smaller brands like M.M.LaFleur, Modern Citizen, The Fold, Tuckernuck, Melloday, and Saint & Sofia, as well as bigger brands like Boden and CeCe. Some great fancier sleeveless tops include options from Loveappella, this wrap top, and this high-necked option from Amazon.
The Best Opaque T-Shirts for Work Outfits
Hunting for opaque white T-shirts for work? As of 2025, we'd suggest checking the double-layer lines from Boden, Halogen, Express, Old Navy, and Hobbs, as well as great sources for basic Pima cotton such as L.L.Bean, Uniqlo, Everlane, Banana Republic, and Talbots. (This $268 tee also gets great reviews for opacity, and Elizabeth swears by this tee under $30!)
The Best Sleeveless T-Shirts for Work
Sleeveless tops can be tricky for work (and you'll always have to launder your blazers and sweaters LESS if you wear shirts with sleeves). Know your office! To give you an idea of formality, these are some of our favorite sleeveless blouses (the Anne Klein one in particular is comfortable like a T-shirt):
Going sleeveless at the office is still a know-your-office situation, but much more accepted than previously. As of 2025, some of our favorite sleeveless tops include ones from Anne Klein, Calvin Klein, Amazon seller Milumia, and Vince Camuto — Elie Tahari's silk one is also lovely.
Work-Appropriate T-Shirts: Reader Favorites for Business Casual T-Shirts for Women
The Best Cotton T-Shirt for Work: Everlane
Everlane makes great basics for work, and this basic cotton scoopneck tee has a sophisticated look. I especially like the elbow sleeves! The top is $40 full price in six colors in sizes XXS-XL at Everlane.
Some of our other favorite professional T-shirts in cotton include some from Theory and J.Crew.
The Best Long-Sleeved Dressy T-Shirt for Women: Banana Republic
Banana Republic's line of “refined” T-shirts all look great for work. They have a number of shapes, including a shrunken T-shirt, a crewneck T-shirt, and a scoopneck T-shirt, but we like this long-sleeved version as one of the best dressy T-shirts for women.
The Best Business Casual T-Shirt in Plus Sizes: L.L.Bean
L.L.Bean has long been a reader favorite for substantial, quality cotton T-shirts in plus sizes. The exact styles change from time to time, but the readers sing the praises of the thick material, easy care, and wide variety of colors.
Also keep an eye out at Universal Standard, Eileen Fisher, Ralph Lauren, Talbots, and Amazon Essentials.
The Best Silk T-Shirt for Work: Amour Vert
We just did a big roundup of the best silk blouses for work (100% natural fibers can be so hard to find!), but one of our long-standing favorite silk T-shirt blouses for work is the pictured one from Amour Vert. It's washable silk and comes in a bunch of beautiful prints, and there are notch-neck styles as well as crewneck styles. Love!
As of 2025, some of our favorite silky T-shirts include Halogen, Quince, Cuyana, M.M.LaFleur, and Banana Republic. This Banana Republic Factory top is only polyester, but readers have been loving it!
The Best Dressy T-Shirts for Work with a Sophisticated Print: Ted Baker
Ted Baker has always made absolutely beautiful dressy T-shirts for work in sophisticated prints. If memory serves, in some years the shirt was a mixed media style with a silky back but jersey front — but the most recent iterations are cut from a soft stretch jersey (95% cotton, 5% elastane). The washing instructions say “dry clean,” which of course means you can machine wash on delicate.
You can find them at Nordstrom as well as TedBaker.com.
Other brands to check include Boden and The Kit.
The Best Sweater T-Shirt for Work Outfits: Quince
Newer budget brand Quince has been around for a few years, and readers really like their stuff — they're known for affordable cashmere and silk, as well as affordable but luxe loungewear. This Mongolian cashmere T-shirt is under $50.
Other options include Ann Taylor and J.Crew.* (* plus sizes too!)
If you're hunting for something fancier, check out The Reset. As of 2025, Nordstrom and Anthropologie both have a huge selection of sweater tees.
The Best Dressy Tank Top for Work: Banana Republic
I can't remember the last time I saw a true cotton tank top that is dressy enough for an office, but Banana Republic's sleeveless tee looks perfect. There's a number of colors, but they all have that incredibly smooth, luxe look to them.
The Best Interesting Work-Appropriate T-Shirt: M.M.LaFleur
M.M.LaFleur has had a lot of beautiful pull-over styles in a variety of fabrics — the Nejvi top, pictured above, is in a polyester. (Is it more of a short-sleeve blouse? A polyester tee? It's a fine line… I'm including it in this roundup because at base it really is just a fancy T-shirt — I think of blouses as having buttons, and popover blouses being a bit more drapey (but maybe that's me?)).
Other favorites in this category include options from Modern Citizen, Amour Vert, Saint & Sofia, and Spanx. Boden, CeCe, and Tuckernuck all have good options occasionally as well. If you're looking to splurge, definitely check out The Fold.
The Best Opaque White Tee for Work: Boden
There are four ways to find opaque white tees for work…
The first way is to go for brands with double-layer lines — the extra lining in the front makes the top that much more opaque. This tends to be the sleekest, most polished look. Look to brands like Boden, Express, Old Navy, and Hobbs, all of whom have great double-layer lines.
Another option is to go for a thick, quality cotton such as basic Pima tees at L.L.Bean, Uniqlo, Everlane, and Talbots.
The third option is to go for white sweater tees instead of simple T-shirts. Because the fabric is naturally heavier, a knit also tends to be more opaque.
The fourth way is to go from word of mouth. Our morning writer, Elizabeth, called this eco-friendly tee at Amazon one of her favorite low-cost clothing basics, and she calls it her “ride or die” tee for when she wants an opaque white tee. You can find it in relaxed, classic, scoop, and crewneck cuts.
(This $268 tee also gets great reviews for opacity.)
The Best T-Shirt Bodysuit for Work Outfits: Soma
There are a lot of great bodysuits for work right now (they look perfect with wide-leg pants!), but in my opinion a square neck is hard to find and looks especially sleek as a layering option. I like this square-necked bodysuit from Soma, but Everlane and Amazon seller MangoPop also have some that look great.
In general, some of our reliable favorites for minimal work-appropriate bodysuits include Everlane, MangoPop, Paige, Commando, SKIMS, and Wolford
I've rounded up some of my favorites below — but readers, which are your favorites?
{related: here's our much older poll on asking readers: how casual of a T-shirt can be worn beneath suits?}
Like this feature? Check out other recent installments!
Stock social media photos via Pexels / SHVETS Productions.
Hi Kat. It’s Kat (Ha!). Been reading your blog for sometime and have been “lurking”. I actually would actually like to see you post something up on what NOT to wear to work. What is NOT appropriate. I know that everyone is in different professions and sometimes some companies are more ‘lax than others. But sometimes people need visuals of what is deemed inappropriate for the office. Do you think that would be do-able one of these days?
she has in the past. do a google site search, i know there was at least one for summer interns.
haha. I’m in moderation with the actual link to the post, but yeah you can find it by searching this site with a post for “what not to wear”. But it did cause the great lace debate. Or one of the great lace debates. So…yeah.
Does anyone else ever get less than complete search results when using Google to search this site? There have been a couple of times where I searched on Google, didn’t find what I was looking for, and then painstakingly searched old posts and did find it. I don’t know why this might happen.
This has been done. See e.g. https://corporette.com/2011/04/12/what-not-to-wear-to-the-office/
If you’re ever looking for something on the site, search google with site: [this site] and your search terms.
There are at least five posts that I can recall in recent memory which did just that.
There is a label/tag “what not to wear to work.”
I saw a young woman in the financial district here in San Francisco last week who looked headed to work (ballet flats, opaque black tights, hair up) but her dress was white lace with a slit back that showed her bright yellow bra!
No mention of the Land’s End brand t-shirts? They are under $20 (some even less in more “interesting” colors, and have a variety of size/neckline options.
I have owned several in the past, and they were very washable. However, I would not get it in white. For some reason, no one makes a non see-through white t-shirt.
I haven’t tried them all, but I ordered some of the LE Canvas tees based on this site’s recommendation and have to say I thought they were too casual. I think work t shirts need to be a certain kind of material, and the LE just weren’t it – at least for me.
agree that lands end ones ive tried are too casual for work for me. but I love their tees, I wear them with shorts all summer
I agree that they are on the casual side, but I wear them to work if I have another piece (blazer, cardigan) or an accessory (scarf, necklace) to pull my outfit together.
The fitted cut, cotton modal blend are nice enough for work, at least imo. I wear them a lot. They have them in v-neck and scoop neck.
What is the sizing like on the cotton modal ts? I’m petite and “small boned” and have never bought from lands end because I assumed it was cut for the more matronly figure. I usually wear either XS or S at banana, for comparison.
Hem hem! I certainly find the sizing generous, and I think it probably runs large for you, but I prefer to classify my figure as “curvy” or “gorgeous” rather than “matronly”. I wouldn’t describe Theory as being cut for people with childish figures just because I can’t squeeze my hips in.
When I said “matronly” I think I meant “boxy.” Sorry to offend!
Haha Anne Shirley, you made my day.
I am 5 feet and about 95 pounds and wear the lands end petite xs in the cotton modal tees. they fit great, and I love them. For hot southern summers, they beat 100 percent cotton by a long shot.
I also, however, am a big fan of Ann Taylor basic crew and v neck tees, in regular size, not petite, b/c they are long enough to stay tucked in skirt or pant suits.
TJ-Any recommendations on a good bustier-style bra to wear under a strapless wedding dress? I’m a 34DD and need some good undergarmet support for the big day that I won’t have to worry about! Thanks! :)
Also, preferably not too heavy material and no padding…it’s outdoors in August and I’ll be hot enough!
I used strapless bra (size down one band size for best fit in strapless) and Spanx Higher Power shaper (yes, the strategic hole works so you don’t have to take them off). THat combo was cooler and smoother than a bustier in my dress.
Go to Nordstroms, they’ll set you up.
I actually did and the woman in the lingerie department told me they didn’t carry them! She did not offer to help size me for one or mention they carried them online (which I discovered they did when I got home). I’ve ordered two online from them but not sure if they’ll be right so I’m open to any other suggestions!
Wouldn’t the place you got your wedding dress be able to help you out? Or at least suggest a place to go? Around here (DC area) there are several lingerie shops that could definitely help – are there any such specialty shops in your city/town? But I keep coming back to the wedding dress store…
Wait, what?? I got my 30DD there four years ago. Walked in, tried on about three, and left with one in hand that worked great. I’m sorry that I can’t remember the brand… it was probably Le Mysterie or Chantelle (spelling?) as those fit me well.
My only general advice is to definitely get the corset kind. I have a strapless/convertible bra that’s good quality but not nearly as stay-put as my corset one.
Do you already have the dress? I’m the same size and my strapless dress had a corset style top that had metal bars in it and had molding for cups for the girls. It fit and supported me without further undergarments required.
They can also build this into the dress, if it doesn’t already have it.
Yeah, if you can get it built into the dress, that’s by far the most comfortable and least likely to need constant adjustments.
This. You should see about having them build a bra into the dress. Regardless of size, a built in bra is wonderful and you don’t have to worry about anything falling or doing the tug/pull.
I dissent as to the issue of building it in to the dress. I had to wear a second bra (bandeau-style so it would fit) under my wedding dress because it was possible to lift right out of the built-in one.
I am a 34D and got a great longline bra from either Fresh Pair or Bare Necessities (the difference between longline and a regular strapless was night and day for me). I ordered a bunch of different styles and sizes and returned what did not fit. I don’t remember the brand I ended up keeping but it was perfect – no padding.
I was also going to suggest a longline (wore one under a bridesmaid’s dress at my sister’s wedding). I agree that the support is better than what you would get from a regular strapless bra – great if you are at all busty. However, I noticed that the OP is looking for something that won’t be too hot. In that case, it sounds like having something built into the dress is the best option, assuming it’s still possible.
My sister ended up getting one at Victoria’s Secret. It was a strapless bustier, i.e., came down to her waist. She said it stayed up a lot better than just a strapless bra. She looked several places, and was surprised to find it there, don’t know if they still have them, this was a couple of years ago.
Sites:
BareNecessities
Figleaves
BraStop
BiggerBras
HerRoom <— GREAT for reviews and photos!
Brands:
Wonderbra (UK, not US–but you can buy via certain US sites like Figleaves)
Freya
Panache
Ewa Michalak
Va Bien
Simone Perele
Be sure to check RetailMeNot for coupons! :)
ps. Congratulations!!!
Fantasie! I think it’s called smoothing strapless or something like that. I am a 32E and it is the only strapless bra I would ever wear again. Not padded, but thick enough so you won’t get headlights!
I found a dress that it was built into – and I was so excited. One less undergarment to shop for and store after. It will of course depend on the dress and if they can build it in for you, but with properly placed boning and buttons, lacing, or a row of hooks & eyes this can really work. It will eliminate a layer, so you will be cooler, and also get rid of any chance you might have foundation garment lines showing.
It does increase the risk if any wardrobe malfunction should occur! I’m involved in a non-profit where we wore very poofy formals starting at a young age, so I’m really, really comforable in a giant skirt complete with hoop skirt or crinoline. I’ve built foundations into strapless formals for at least a 34DD – a good seamstress can get it done! Failing that, if you go with something that has boning spring for something that at least has metal stays, not plastic, and sews the channels correctly. Out of control boning is not fun :)
I’ve also gotten good T-shirts at Eddie Bauer, reasonably priced on sale at the end of the season. I can’t even imagine spending $85 on a T-shirt.
I love the Target scoop neck with ruching (no idea if that is how you spell that word.) They used to be double layered which was nice but caused some pilling. Now they are single layered but still look great under suits.
I love these, but had trouble with the dye spot-fading on a green double-layered one. Brown one was just fine, and I can’t explain why. Maybe they’ve resolved this problem with the new line.
I’m thrilled to find out they still have those. I have a couple of the old double layered ones which are finally starting to die.
If that is the same basic t-shirt I tried on at the limited last week I really do *not* recommend it. The shirt was soft and attractive, but was bizarrely shiny. Like… the light in the dressing room caught on the spandex, especially across the chest region and made it look shiny in that “I’m wearing a material not found in nature” sort of way. That said, It would probably go great under a suit…. but I would not feel comfortable wearing it on its own.
I’ve got two of them and they are definitely made to be worn under a suit jacket. And they look fantastic and court-appropriate under a suit. But I know exactly what you mean.
I have found great work appropriate t-shirts at Banana Republic both last year and this year. Even the white, which in my mind is the real test, is great and they are priced under $20.
I have the luxe-touch tee from Banana Republic. It’s a great basic with a bit of shine at the collar, and available in several colors (lucky sizes only, though).
Slight work annoyance: in our office, we routinely send out notices to the other people we work with to notify them that we will be out of the office in the coming weeks (i.e., taking a few days for vacation, have a long business trip and will be inaccessible via email for much of it). Most people use a greeting such as “hi everyone,” “greetings,” or just no greeting at all and go straight to the message. However, one person who is junior to me just sent one that began with “staff.” Um, I am NOT your staff. Nobody in this office is your “staff.”
/rant
I find the key to work-appropriate tees is wearing them with an outstanding necklace. If it’s outstanding enough, nobody notices you’re wearing a tee shirt.
;)
Hmm, if only we knew a jewelry designer to provide us with outstanding necklaces!!! :)
Word.
I love the Lands End Tshirts, but I would never wear one with a suit.
I recently tried on the Uniqlo basic Tshirt and really liked it: http://www.uniqlo.com/us/CPaGoods/itemcode=070906
Really? I’m wearing one today with a suit, and it seems perfectly appropriate. It’s black, and I have the second one in blue. I wear them both to work.
http://www.landsend.com/pp/womens-short-sleeve-lightweight-cotton-modal-v-neck-t-shirt~210345_59.html?bcc=y&action=order_more&sku_0=::UJ3&CM_MERCH=IDX_women-_-knit-tops-polos-turtlenecks-_-regular-_-t-shirts&origin=index
http://www.landsend.com/pp/womens-short-sleeve-lightweight-cotton-modal-scoopneck-tee~217519_59.html?bcc=y&action=order_more&sku_0=::WHI&CM_MERCH=IDX_women-_-knit-tops-polos-turtlenecks-_-regular-_-t-shirts&origin=index
The collar doesn’t lay flat and formal for me under a suit. It sloshes around too much for my taste.
I used to buy the nylon Tshirts from N-M in the late 90s/early 00s (about $50 at the time) and they were formal enough with a suit for me. Sadly, N-M brand clothes, like SFA brand clothes, seem to have disappeared. Too bad — they were well made and reasonably priced.
I need to vent and get some advice.
DH & I have been trying to conceive kiddo No. 2 for seven months. I got my period this morning and have been trying not to cry at work pretty much all day. I am really sad. I’ve held it together pretty well until now, but it’s finally starting to sink in that it’s not happening very easily this time. Given my age (early 30s), I know it’s not technically considered infertility yet, but I’m starting to worry.
I have two questions:
1) How do I make it through the rest of the workday when all I want to do is go home, have a good cry and then snuggle with my husband and son?
2) Is it worth talking to my doctor about what’s going on, or should I be patient for awhile longer? I haven’t been doing full-blown charting, but I have been tracking my cycles since December and everything seems normal.
3) Does being sad make me totally selfish and ungrateful? I love my son to pieces and know I’m so lucky to be his mama and there are many women who would love to be in my position … that doesn’t make me want another child any less, though. :( It’s pretty much impossible to avoid pregnancy talk and questions when you already travel in kid-friendly circles. And it’s getting harder to evade people’s questions about when we’ll be adding to the family without a) either freaking out on them, or b) telling them waaay too much information about my s3x life.
FYI: My scoopneck tees from LOFT look pretty good for work wear.
1. Close your door and pretend to be highly focused on your computer screen. Continue reading Corporette. Or, if that’s not an option, tell your boss you have a terrible headache, you feel nauseous, and you need to go home because Tylenol’s not helping.
2. Yes, talk to your doctor. I think they say that if you’ve tried for over 6 months you should seek medical advice. But even if your doctor just tells you everything is fine, at least you’ll have peace of mind.
3. Of course it doesn’t make you totally selfish and ungrateful. My goodness, I throw a pity party when Macy’s doesn’t have the shoes I wanted in my size. I can’t even imagine wanting a baby and not being able to easily get pregnant.
1. Close your door and pretend to be highly focused on your computer screen. Continue reading C o r p o r e t t e. Or, if that’s not an option, tell your boss you have a terrible headache, you feel nauseous, and you need to go home because Tylenol’s not helping.
2. Yes, talk to your doctor. I think they say that if you’ve tried for over 6 months you should seek medical advice. But even if your doctor just tells you everything is fine, at least you’ll have peace of mind.
3. Of course it doesn’t make you totally selfish and ungrateful. My goodness, I throw a pity party when Macy’s doesn’t have the shoes I wanted in my size. I can’t even imagine wanting a baby and not being able to easily get pregnant.
So sorry for your disappointment today. If you can call it a day early, I say by all means, go for it. If not, maybe pop out for a walk around the block or a Starbucks. Sometimes just being in the sun helps to remind me that there are bigger things at work than me, and I feel more hopeful and clear-headed.
I don’t have any advice about talking to your doctor (don’t see how it could hurt), but I just want to say that IN NO WAY does being sad make you selfish or ungrateful! It just means you are sad, and understandably so. Having children is the least selfish thing you can do, and it sounds like you do have a grateful mindset. Your desire for another child, for a sibling for your son, is real, and it makes total sense that you are disappointed today. Be sad, but then be hopeful because you have not been given any reason to think this is anything other a little delay. Hang in there!
I don’t have much advice, but I have gone through the same thing (we’ve been trying for about 9 months) and totally know what you mean. I have teared up at work because of this but then I make myself read some boring legal document to take my mind off the problem. Then when I get home I let myself have a solid cry. I read somewhere it’s best to let yourself be sad for a set amount of time, then force yourself to move on and get excited for the next try … That was in relation to this problem specifically, but sounds like decent advice in general …
Definitely go see your ob/gyn. However, don’t stay long with him/her, a reproductive endocrynologist is really the specialist that deals with fertility issues. A good ob/gyn will refer you on pretty quickly, but there are ob/gyns who like to think that they are specialists (and I have known too many women who have wasted valuable time with their gyns, and most stories you hear of fertility treatments gone awry are those done by gyns).
Secondary infertility is a real “thing.” You are not being selfish, but your feelings are very common. Feeling like your family is complete is very individual and so long as there is a whole where you feel there should be a child — no mater how many you have — you will go through a grieving process.
I was in a bit of a different position, because I had already gone through primary infertility, but my post-kid friends didn’t know that right away, so I got all the unintentionally prying questions about having another child. I found it easiest to answer them head on (though you may not be there yet). When people asked me about having a second child, I would just say that may not be in the cards for us and we’d be taking it a step at a time. Anyone with half a brain would back off then.
While this may be just a bad stroke of luck, going in and checking under the hood (of both you and your husband) is a good idea now. Hopefully you will get good news (and maybe a positive HPT before you get your appointment). If not, at least you should get an action plan, which will hopefully be the first step to the second child you are wanting.
Wow — hideous typos in that post. Need. More. Coffee. Sorry!
Even if you aren’t charting and don’t want to, it’s worth reading the section in Weschler’s “Take Charge of Your Fertility” on medical intervention, so you are better informed when you meet your doctor. It might help you avoid some medical procedures and help your doctor pinpoint the problem faster. Do you have the book? So much useful information, and there’s nothing to be afraid of with charting. All you are doing is learning useful information about your own body.
Weschler’s book does have a great amount of information in it (though I completely disagree with a lot of her views on policy, but that is a completely different issue). However, I would not do charting in lieu of making an appointment with her doctor, for two reasons. First, if there is a problem, it could just as easily be with her husband. Second, charting will only bring to light certain issues, not the full spectrum if things that could be preventing a pregnancy.
I think charting is a fabulous idea (I had misread OP’s post to suggest she had been charting). I would do it at the same time as making an appointment with a doctor, though.
I would add to this: do both. Chart and make a dr’s appt. But at 29, at the first appointment when I raised concerns with my ob-gyn, she told me to chart for 6 months and then come back if I don’t get pregnant (I didn’t). At my first visit with an RE a year later, she went through my stack of charts pretty closely. So you might as well get started on it now.
When you (OP) say you’ve been keeping track of your cycles (but not charting) and everything looks fine, what does that mean? Are you doing ovulation prediction kits? Are you just noticing that you have a regular, 28 +/- day cycle?
Any chance you can work from home the rest of the day? You can still get work done, but at least if you want to cry (or eat a cookie), you can do it without worrying about what you’ll look like. Otherwise, shut your door and do whatever makes you feel better. Do you have a friend at work where you guys could run to the coffee store together for a quick break this afternoon? That might help get your mind off things.
And definitely feel free to ask your doctor. The rule of thumb is unsuccessfully trying for 6+ months. It could be something as simple as not charting close enough and you’re ovulating later than you thought in your cycle. But at least that way you can work to find out why you’ve been unsuccessful thus far.
And you have every right to feel exactly how you feel. Like Bluejay said, I mope and whine when my size is sold out in something that I want. Anyone that has had trouble conceiving knows exactly what heartbreak you’re going through.
Thanks for your kind words, ladies. I’m currently eating my feelings with Muddy Buddy Chex Mix and plan to take it easy with DH & kiddo this evening.
Re selfish and ungrateful question:
I don’t think so. My thoughts were always that if I had a child (married late, so no expectations of even getting 1), I would want that child to have a sibling. I have seen some very happy only children, but I work a lot and my husband is gone a lot and I would have wanted a child to have a sibling so that they would have each other, especially after we’re gone (we’re not OLD-OLD, but still . . .). I may be biased since I can barely remember being an only child myself and even though my sister and I weren’t always close, we always had each other. I thought of having a second child as a lot of work, but something that is for both of them, especially after Mom and Dad are gone. That said, after two miscarriages (PGs 1 and 3), I was grateful that I even had one child and was over the moon to have her if she was all I ever had.
Love the tanks and long sleeved ts from Undertease.
Sadly, they are now called Mod Bod and the finish and weight has lessened.
But they are still my regular go-tos, with stacks of different colors of each style in my top drawer. Wash, dry, wear. Great for layering on trips and even as the odd pj item in the suitcase.
I get them from my local sample shop/boutique, so I don’t know about regular vendors.
Worth the search.
I have to put in a plug for my beloved Lands End cotton/modal shirts! I have the scoopnecks in four colors and they are the best under-a-suit tees I’ve ever owned. They meet all of Kat’s criteria. Pro tip: they run a bit long, so I bought a size larger in petites and that fits perfectly.
I like these too – but why oh why do they not offer the v-neck in plus sizes? They are so much more flattering than crew necks and I would buy a million!
I second that, I love Landsend’s cotton/modal t’s. I’m 5’7″, and actually like the length, they are perfect for me.
Help! I have a question regarding camisoles under blouses, button-up shirts, and cardigans. Is it okay for the bottom of the cami to show over the waist of skirts/pants? Because I have a large bust, I have been wearing camis under everything and in some bottoms tucking the camis in just doesn’t look right (maybe because the camis are long?).
Here’s a picture for reference (albeit most of my cardigans are non-lacy): http://www.google.com/imgres?q=camisole+under+cardigan&um=1&hl=en&sa=N&biw=1280&bih=738&tbm=isch&tbnid=5OpqcdVHfEsmlM:&imgrefurl=http://www.realsimple.com/beauty-fashion/clothing/wardrobe-basics/avoiding-common-wardrobe-blunders-10000001573601/page9.html&docid=vq5B92Mc0kdPAM&imgurl=http://img4-3.realsimple.timeinc.net/images/beauty-fashion/clothing/0411/lowhip-pant_300.jpg&w=300&h=357&ei=l3bfT8y0GOOA2wWYpvXgAQ&zoom=1&iact=hc&vpx=457&vpy=129&dur=371&hovh=142&hovw=123&tx=97&ty=139&sig=101738183313518398202&page=1&tbnh=129&tbnw=112&start=0&ndsp=32&ved=1t:429,r:2,s:0,i:80
Generally I think longer camis are very “tuckable” even into lower-rise pants/skirts, so I can’t really see what the problem is with wearing them tucked in. Regardless, I think the pictured look is OK and I actually wear a longer cami with a cardigan, or a shirt hem peeking from under a sweater; but my office is quite casual, and you need to know if this would work in yours.
I don’t think this look will look good with a skirt, unless one is going for boho style.
For not-so-work appropriate opaque white t-shirts, I’ve found great success with Hanes undershirts for boys. I wear 6/8/10 tops and the XL fit me perfectly. Plus, they’re so much cheaper than women’s t-shirts (~$10 for 5 t-shirts).
I love the Worthington Womens Shirt, scoop neck at JC Penney. They wash well and look good under suits. Some of the prints are out there, but the solids are nice:
http://www.jcpenney.com/dotcom/women/categories/wear-to-work/tops/worthington-womens-shirt-scoop-neck/prod.jump?ppId=1dd0979
I solve this problem by never wearing t-shirts! In fact, I don’t think I own any t-shirts…
Well I mean, I own large college/sleep shirt type t-shirts. And I did own one gray stripe t-shirt from Gap which I loved more than life for casual weekend wear until I washed it on cold and hung dry a whole few times and it shrunk like nobody’s business. And now not only do I not own any t-shirts anymore, but I am also bitter that the t-shirt gods took my one away, so… I think if I ever have to buy them again for a weekend thing, I’ll assume they will die quickly and just go to F21 or something. Meh.
I actually love American Apparel. Not all the styles but last year’s “Classic Girl” version is great – saturated colors, and thick, smooth fabric. (This year’s version is not as good.) But what I really love about them is the “crew” neck on the women’s tees is really a mild scoop neck that doesn’t emphasize the shortness of my very short neck. Often scoop or v-neck tees show too much cleave, but AA tees just show my collarbones and follow the lines of my suit jacket. Warning – I’m a small 12 (sometimes can wear 10s) and wear the biggest size all AA’s women’s clothes, so they are not size-friendly.
My MIL just brought me 3 Jones t-shirts last week that are great. I am going to have to find out where she got them and stock up.
I just stocked up on a bunch of plain tees from American Apparel on Hautelook for $6/each. Good quality and always happy to buy made in the USA (even if owner of said company is a bit sketchy).
I have also been eyeing this t-shirt, it looks so soft and good quality but have yet to pull the trigger: http://www.woolrich.com/woolrich/browse/productDetail.jsp?icProduct=7321&icParent=subCategory&icCategory=cat60004&icSort=&icColor=LWR
White House Black Market has amazing white tees that are not see-through. They’re a little snug so I sized up. http://m.whitehouseblackmarket.com/store/browse/product.jsp?maxRec=25&pageId=1&productId=300113751&viewAll=&prd=Seamless+Tee&subCatId=cat4769286&color=100&fromSearch=true&inSeam=&posId=15&catId=cat210001&cat=&onSale=&colorFamily=&maxPg=2&size=
I love the white house black market ones too.
I second the recommendation for Banana Republic Luxe tees. They are fitted without clinging inappropriately like the Limited ones. The ones from Limited also seem to be more low cut and look cheaper. I always find 40% off coupons and get a good deal. Most of the colors have a slight sheen which makes them look and feel a little more office appropriate, they don’t show bra lines, and aren’t see through.
Wolford shirts are fabulous — expensive, but flattering and available in great colors/necklines/sleeve lengths. I’ve had some for a few years — wash and air dry really well. Sale is on now (30% off some things)!
I’m a 24-year-old JD to be, working as a summer associate at a Midwestern firm. We have casual (read: jeans) Fridays. I have yet to sport a pair of jeans because my denim collection is a vestige of undergrad… Miss Me and Big Star are the dominant players… and do not feel like they are appropriate to wear at the office. I’m plus sized (34ish in jeans) and needing a few pairs of not insanely expensive, attractive (non-momish) dark jeans… anyone have some great suggestions?
How plus sized are you? I’m a very hip/butt/thigh heavy hourglass 16, and have had weirdly good luck with the newer Gap jeans (the 1969 line, particularly the long and lean cut, despite not being particularly long or lean) and historically Levi’s, but haven’t investigated the Levi’s since they changed to the Curve ID or whatever their new system of naming is. Also with the Gap pants, their website goes up to a 20, I think, in pants, and I’ve had excellent luck with some of their non-jeans as well, as casual-but-not-jeans sorts of pants.
If that’s not helpful, I’d recommend taking a wander through Manolo for the Big Girl, both the “denim” tag and doing a search– manolobig(dot)com. They’ve got some good recommendations for a wide range of sizes and shapes. (Also I love them, but that’s a side note.)
Thank you so much!
james perse has the best-t’s hands down! jcrew and banana republic t’s are not soft and after a few washes, loses their shapes. gap t’s are okay…but anything not cotton just feels cheap and more times than not look cheap too.
Love the BR tees, I’m wearing one I royal blue right now.
And I love lafayette 148 tees for work, though they’re spendy.
I am positively surprised with Old Navy’s crewneck T-Shirts. And at only $ 8, I can pick up three and just replace more often. If you are concerned about the environment: just cut up old shirts and use as cleaning rags.
I had good luck with Madison t-shirts (cotton/modal/spandex) from Belk recently. And they’re cheap ($14) too!
http://tinyurl.com/84357h2
How about an excellent, high quality Made in the USA option, like the American Giant tee shirts at ? The scoop neck comes in 10 colors (http://www.american-giant.com/womens-short-sleeve-t-shirt.html ) and the v-neck in 14 (http://www.american-giant.com/womens-short-sleeve-v-neck-t-shirt.html ). 100% made in the USA sports local textile jobs and the quality is exceptional. 4.8-ounce cotton weight provides good cover and comfort.
I am late to the party, but I cannot resist commenting because I am so confused…a T-SHIRT? With a SUIT? I thought you had to wear a dress shirt or shell underneath a suit. I have never seen a t-shirt worn to a “business casual” office, and business casual to me means dress pants or skirt, and a dress shirt or blouse, sans jacket (or tie for men). I get the impression that most of the posters on this page work in “business formal” offices, where a complete suit is mandatory, and so this t-shirt thing has me baffled. A t-shirt with a suit seems like something they’d try to sell you at Express, along with an electric blue suit and dangling rhinestone earrings. Can anyone understand where I am coming from and enlighten me? Am I just clueless? Have people been wearing t-shirts with suits for a while now? I’m not trying to be snarky; I am just befuddled…