Weekend Open Thread
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Something on your mind? Chat about it here.
Not exciting, but: one of the things I stock up on every year in the Nordstrom sale is their line of Caslon T-shirts. I prefer the wider U neck of the past, but I like the V-necks too — they're incredibly soft, and the way the edges have a double layer gives a slight bit of interest to the tee.
I normally load up on black and navy, but couldn't stop myself from grabbing this pretty burgundy also. I feel like the NAS has certain “colors” every year that they ask designers to work within; this year burgundy, browns, and dark teals are everywhere. This is one of my favorite iterations of the burgundy.
The T-shirt is $16 during the sale; it will be $24 after the sale (but is often down to $19 in regular sales, but it's harder to find the prettier colors like this one in all the sizes on sale). It's also available in plus sizes and in a crew neck.
Psst: readers also historically have stocked up these panties, this bra, and this bra.
Sales of note for 7/15:
- Nordstrom – The Anniversary Sale has started! Here's our big roundup of what to get first, as well as everything we've selected thus far.
- Ann Taylor – Semi-annual sale, 60% off sale and 40% off everything — readers love this blouse and I always love the variety of colors/textures for this jacket (it's a great separate)
- Banana Republic – Summer sale up to 60% off sale styles + extra 20% off
- The Fold – Up to 50% off, further markdowns
- J.Crew – 50% off select cashmere
- J.Crew Factory – 60% off clearance
- Lo & Sons – Summer sale, up to 50% off
- Lululemon – Summer sale!
- Me & Em – Sale! Up to 60% off (new lines just added)
- M.M.LaFleur – 25% off jardigans (Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off on other items)
- Nordstrom Rack – Clear the rack, extra 25% off clearance! Nice selection of Vince, Veronica Beard, Reiss and Rag & Bone, a ton of affordable work dresses from Calvin Klein, Maggy London, Eliza J, and Donna Morgan
- Talbots – Red Door Sale! Prices start at $15
I am approaching potential mentors for a very normal and clearly defined type of mentorship in their professional field. They don’t know me, and may not be interested, but I really need to find someone, so I’m going to be somewhat persistent.
A) Is it better to call or email?
B) How long should I wait after the first message to follow up?
Not knowing your particular situation, I would say it’s better to email and then I’d wait a week or so to follow up if necessary.
same, unless your industry norms are different, a cold call on this topic would seem excessively pushy and sales-y to me.
i would email. i would also set it up as an “i’d love to hear how you got to where you are today, could i take you to lunch someday?” NOT “will you be my mommy i mean mentor” ask. then when you meet with them ask them for recommendations of who else you should talk to, and ask them if you can use their name. “Tim Smith suggested I talk to you…”
What are you grateful for this weekend?
that the air seems to have cleared here in NY from the wildfires.
What a great question! I’m grateful for a new friend I have recently made. We’ve had lots of conversations here about how to make new friends as an adult. I’ve known her for a while and finally reached out and we met up and had a lovely conversation.
i like that your answer made me realize i AM grateful for a new friend! our kids have the same flavor of autism, which is hard to find if you aren’t profoundly autistic or little genius, so it’s great to find someone who gets it. motherhood is isolating, but mom to autistic is even more isolating.
Also grateful for new friends! A couple with whom we’ve recently become friendly has invited us to meet up with them and a couple we don’t know yet at the pool this weekend.
I’m grateful that I have an excellent local public library, and through it and the other libraries in my region I have terrific access to books and magazines. Through the reciprocal borrowing privileges I can always get something on Libby. Being able to start reading a book immediately is such a gift.
Am reading “Look What You Made Me Do” by John Lanchester now, and really enjoying it.
My new job.
We moved and we’re no longer battling the daily difficulties of two WFH adults and one toddler (in daycare) in a tiny apartment. We now have enough space for our family! We have a garage! We have central air! No longer dealing with a combined entryway/dining room/WFH desk situation and it is glorious. The new place needs some work but if you just look at the baseline differences between the old and new, our experiences are night and day. I was getting so worn down by the sheer difficulty of moving around in the old place, never mind babyproofing when ALLLLLL our stuff had to coexist in one small living space.
about to join the family on a holiday. Initially, I was really on the fence about coming along, and now I’m glad I decided to join and stoked for the trip.
There is a chance of rain. Help, my garden is drying up…
Universal healthcare.
I have dizziness that is not BBPV and have to go for a brain scan. It’s scary enough without having to worry about costs for treatments.
Sending you all the best vibes. I’m glad you have access to care, too, and I hope it turns out to be something diagnosable but also easily treatable so you get relief without any scariness.
My adult daughter invited me on a trip with just the two of us. I love that she wants to spend time with me!
oh, what a gift. Enjoy.
Everything important is good–I have good health, a good family, good friends, material security and comfort. Everything else is really just background noise.
I recently heard from an old friend who hasn’t had an easy time of it and I’ve been feeling like I just drew the luckiest life out of the hat.
My home office has hardwood floors, which I love, but my rolly office chair is going to scratch them up, which would be bad. Anyone have a floor pad that protects the wood, doesn’t look awful, and won’t be my cat’s new favorite thing to scratch/shed on?
i would get one of the thin ruggable type rugs for this but for the entire office space. then put down one of the clear floor protectors on top to anchor it for the roly chair.
Anji Mountain chairmats. I have a large desk so I went with the 40×54 inch mat and the size works well. When we first got it, cat tried to scratch it but decided he didn’t like it as it is super hard.
You can get special wheels for your office chair that won’t scratch wood.
I’m having family from small-town rural America visit me in NYC this summer. I live around here, but it’s their first time to such a big city … anything I should tell them to expect or any advice on tourist attractions? We’ll most likely explore midtown Manhattan, the Empire State Building, Central Park, and the MET. It’s a couple with boys in their early teens, and they’re not adventurous eaters and have limited fitness.
are they prepared for periods of time on their feet? Like, can they go 3-4 hours without sitting down or should they build in rest time?
Tell them to bring more than one pair of comfortable shoes. Even with rest breaks they need to alternate shoes or expect blisters.
how early teens? is cursed child still playing, everyone i knew that age loved that.
i’d do highline instead of CP. maybe chinatown, Ktown, or little italy? i’d also take them to bergdorf goodman and treat it like a museum but one where you can touch.
transit museum might be cool, ellis island also? a ferry ride might be novel to them.
I would definitely not skip Central Park in favor of the Highline with first time visitors to NYC. Central Park is an iconic NYC destination. And it also beautiful and unique in the middle of a huge city! I like the Highline well enough too, but it is totally different.
What about the library? Whenever we’re in the city we like to visit the ceiling of the reading room and the Winnie the Pooh crew.
YMMV and realize this is individual, but my parents, who live in a small town get people-d out pretty quickly visiting me in my city, which is much smaller than DC. It may be helpful to build some downtime into your schedule so they can shower or rest at the hotel mid-day. (Probably helpful on the “limited fitness” point too!)
are they shoppers? my boys are big sneaker heads and love to go the second hand stores in the village (second street etc) also just sort of interesting to look and walk around down by NYU. definitely agree a broadway show. are they sports fans? a cyclones game is lovely or a yankees or mets. depending on age and interest, the staten island ferry or the roosevelt island tram are fun.
If they want to do any of the instagram spots (Summit, Edge, etc.), and it’s within the budget, just pay for any skip the line or VIP options. It really does make the experience so much better for the adults.
If they have any favorite NYC movies (kids or parents), you can quickly build the itinerary around those sorts of items. Not that I’ve ever arranged the trip that I wanted based on allowing hubs to check off a lot of the Ghostbusters locations…
My kids really liked the Tenement Museum and Fraunces Tavern.
I once took my cousin’s kid’s baseball team to John’s Pizza on W44th street and the kids were blown away by the good pizza in a decommissioned church. If you’re doing things around Times Square, that’s a great bet.
If they aren’t super into art, you might want to do MOMA instead of the Met, or go to the Museum of Natural History instead. If you do go to the Met, make sure you have a plan and a map, because it can be overwhelming.
A lot of my rural family members who have visited over the years have really enjoyed the Intrepid and the 9/11 Memorial. And a ride on the Staten Island Ferry is free and gives a great view of the Statue of Liberty if you aren’t planning to spend time at the Ellis Island museum (but I do love the Ellis Island museum – what a great reminder that we are a nation of immigrants).
Cosigning that John’s Pizza. It rules.
If they like manga or anime (or just bookstores in general), Kinokuniya in Bryant Park was a big hit with my teenager. It’s also nice to just sit in the park and have a coffee, plus the library with the Ghostbusters lions is just around the corner.
I wonder how Ellen is going these days?
Ha
I must say, the older I get, the more I appreciate “just say fooey and move on.”
I know this is a champagne problem, but I’m kind of sad that my sibling apparently won’t be giving gifts to my baby. Sibling is 20 years older than I am. I always gave birthday and Christmas gifts to their kids when they were little. I left our parents’ home at 16 and worked low paying jobs for years to afford rent and school. I always gave his kids nice gifts even if it meant I didn’t get to eat that week (other than free food at work). After the kids graduated from college, sibling instituted a no gifts rule for family. That was fine by me.
In the past few years, sibling has relaxed the no gifts rule somewhat, I suspect because sibling’s new spouse is very gift-oriented (and a lovely person all around). When I was pregnant, they gave us a gift for my baby shower. The baby just turned 1 and they sent a card but no gift. Sibling and spouse are well off; they’re not skipping meals to scrape together $50 like I was. My baby doesn’t need more stuff. It’s not logical for me to feel sad about a lack of gifts. I don’t want this sad feeling, I don’t want to feel resentful. How do I let it go?
The fastest way to let the feeling go is to stop trying to logic yourself out of it. If you accept that you are sad about this whether or not it’s logical, the feeling will actually dissipate faster. The more you try to deny the feeling, the longer it will stick around. So just sit with the feeling for a little while.
This, 100%. You’re sad about it. No need to argue with yourself. Give yourself time to accept what is, and let yourself not feel perfect about it. That’s about the best we can do, I think.
I would also find it odd to get (or send) a card without a gift or gift card for a first birthday. Babies are so easy to shop for!
I noticed a similar dynamic play out with my DH and his sibling. He’s accepted it as the price of their relationship (it’s not a close relationship anymore).
With the caveat that I’m socially inept. All kids get a card, a book (ideally something iconic like Robert Munsch if age appropriate) and a gift card to toys r us. I hate gifts but I can muster up that level of effort.
Is it worth considering what your baby is getting instead?
An aunt who babysits? A favorite uncle who roughhouses exactly the right way?
Do you know about love languages? Clearly yours is gifts. But gifts can mean next to nothing to other people for whom that isn’t their love language (like me and millions of others). If you can, accept that this person expresses love in other ways and see if you can learn to be happy with “that’s just not how they express love, it doesn’t mean they don’t love.”
My (now ex) husband and I got married in our late 30s. His older brothers got married in college and started families in their late 20s. For years, he bought Christmas presents for their girlfriends, then fiancées, then wives, then kids, too.
The hot second I showed up on the scene, it became “let’s just give presents to the kids.” (I was pregnant but would not be delivering before Christmas.)
It was gross. When gifts flow up (struggling students working to pay for all this, given to established adults and their families), the older ones should always reciprocate.
Qs for single condo or home owners or 1st time house hunters who are single
Im single, early 30s, no kids, chicago area.
What do you wish you knew going into the house hunt?
Did you feel ready?
How did you approach budgeting, down payment and mortgage on a single income?
The process of buying a home feel so squishy to me – timelines, documents, negotiations etc. . And how can I ‘compete’ on a single income when so many other buyers are doing it with a partner.
But I want a place that is mine
If you are getting a place that’s been renovated – PLEASE make sure that all permits were properly pulled. The city will go after you as the buyer even though the seller was the one who did the work.