Have You Stopped Trying to Give 100%?
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I saw an interesting clip the other day of Amy Poehler interviewing Rashida Jones on her podcast, talking about a subject near and dear to many readers’ hearts: giving less than your best. Let’s discuss… at a certain point in life have you lowered your own personal standards (or your effort) for your job or other aspects of your life? Do you still feel like you’re giving more than most people?
Here’s a link to the episode on Spotify (and a transcript):
Amy Poehler: One of the reasons why I want to do this podcast is, as I’ve watched so many men do the bare minimum.
Rashida Jones: Is this, is this your bare minimum?
Amy Poehler: I’m truly giving 25%, which is, for most people, is 75%. But it’s like, enough is enough. Enough with the 100%. Sure. And enough with improving ourselves and listening to stuff about how we’re supposed to get better and better and better.
I’ve seen a lot of readers make similar comments over the years, and I totally agree. There were a few moments in my life when I realized I was doing way more than I needed to, and consciously dialed back my effort. (I actually remember thinking during my second year at the law firm: This is a marathon, not a sprint… don’t burn out.)
I also totally agree with Poehler’s frustration and exhaustion at the constant pressure to improve ourselves. Gosh, society has a lot of suggestions for how women could be better! I love that women are pushing back with ideas like the “Don’t Care Club” and our general comfort with the phrase “zero f*cks given.”
Questions for today:
Have you ever consciously decided to lower your standards (or lower your effort) — at work, at home, or elsewhere in your life? Was there a particular moment that made you realize you were doing too much?
Do you feel like your 25% is still someone else’s 75%? Or have you discovered that some of the things you used to put so much effort into didn’t actually matter?
And what about the constant pressure to improve ourselves? Are you still interested in becoming a better version of yourself, or have you stopped feeling like everything about you needs to be optimized?
Psst: In case you missed it, Poehler’s Good Hang won the first-ever Golden Globe for Best Podcast earlier this year! You can watch her acceptance speech here.
Stock photo via Pexels / Pavel Danilyuk.
Lowering my standards at home makes me unhappy.
Lowering my standards at work makes my bosses and coworkers unhappy.
Don’t know what the fix is, here.
Just tell yourself you giving 25% is the same as someone else giving 75% lol.
Can’t help you with your own unhappiness but it’s worth looking at your boss’s unhappiness. Your boss’s life would be easier if you always gave 100%, put work ahead of everything else and worked overtime for free but that doesn’t mean you need to or should. People are “unhappy” when I don’t move everything around in my schedule to prioritize their schedule but that doesn’t mean I do it and so far that hasn’t impacted my prospects. It took me a long time to realize that just because someone is unhappy or annoyed that I’m not going the extra mile every day doesn’t mean that they don’t think I’m doing an excellent job.
Wondering if the woman from yesterday afternoon who had the altercation with her husband in the house/bathroom would be willing to provide an update? I hope you are safe. I’ve been thinking about you a lot since I read your post.
Same.
I think it sounds snotty to think “My 25% is someone else’s 75% effort.” Maybe my output is better than what other people could do but maybe not, it depends. I think the realization I came to is that perception is what matters in the workplace. Do people perceive the work you do as valuable? Do you have a good reputation? Do people trust your judgement? Do they like you well enough? That’s what will give you more job security, not necessarily working harder than everyone else. I have definitely lowered my standards at a job that did not pay me well, but I knew I had those other qualities in place to the degree that I could control.
In terms of self-improvement, I absolutely think we live in a culture that profits from making people feel inadequate and offering the promise of a fantasy just beyond reach. I think it can be harmful when people are constantly frustrated in their marriages/relationships or feeling like they should be better/doing more. Like, hello, we’re all descended from apes. Look around. We’re not that different or that much more evolved. Life is going to be messy. Hang in there. Don’t expect perfection. Get a sense of humor, because you will need it.
Well said. I also sort of bristle about the idea that my 25% is someone else’s 75%. How do you actually know that it’s true? By and large, I work with very bright people who care about their work. Also, not all jobs are the same. Person A on my has the strongest technical proficiency I’ve ever seen. Her doing a technical task with 50% effort is still going to be really good. But she does not have the same leadership skills and ability to see the big picture that Person B has. That individual is solid but not at Person A’s level in terms of technical abilities. So who is contributing “more” and who needs to put in more effort to achieve the same thing? It really depends on the project and the goals.
I don’t think anyone should make themselves crazy to do a perfect job where a fine one would do. That said, I’m sure I’ve worked with plenty more people who would enthusiastically insist that they are giving 110 percent every day but from an outside perspective, it sure doesn’t look like it, so I’m super-skeptical when I see things like this. I say, try to give the appropriate amount of effort, and if that’s not enough, think about where you need to adjust.