Coffee Break: Wally Boot
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Ooh: there are some of our favorite boots for work, the Staud Wally, on sale at Nordstrom. Admittedly, it’s not all colorways (and just the heeled options), but if you’re looking for a trendy boot that hits all the notes, do consider these.
They’re $495 new, but the pictured option is down to $371. The shorter heeled boot comes as low as $237.
Sales of note for 10/16
- Ann Taylor – 50% off + free shipping on everything!
- Brooklinen – Friends & Family – 20% off sitewide and 50% off select bundles
- J.Crew – Extra 50% off 3+ sale styles with code – includes lots of suiting, sweaters, and pants
- J.Crew Factory – Friends & Family, extra 15% off your purchase
- M.M.LaFleur – October Sale Event, best prices of the season (Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off on other items)
- Nordstrom – 5840+ new markdowns for women, up to 40% off
- Talbots – Friends and family, 30% off your entire purchase
- Theory – End of season sale is on with extra savings (new prices are marked)
Wondering if the woman from yesterday afternoon who had the altercation with her husband in the house/bathroom would be willing to provide an update? I hope you are safe. I’ve been thinking about you a lot since I read your post.
I kept thinking about him sobbing… what I would do if my husband treated me like that and then broke down sobbing he was so upset with himself. I can see why women stay.
The man crying because he tormented his wife bothers you more than the wife who was cowering on the bathroom floor afraid he was going to hit her?
Classic DARVO
People are allowed to be remorseful and be forgiven. I don’t define people by the worst moments.
How are there so many abuse apologists? May you be picked.
how are there so many people willfully, spitefully misunderstanding people today?
I’m disgusted by it too. This is a place for women. At least it used to be.
for the record: i told her to DTMFA. i’m just saying i can see why it would feel complicated to her.
Hello, thank you for checking in. I really appreciated everyone’s insight and advice yesterday.
My husband came home from work yesterday, and immediately started crying again. He broke down and told me he was so incredibly sorry and it was unforgivable. He said he realized that he has been in denial about his father’s behavior because it is too painful to confront, which was why it was so triggering to him. He said he had a memory of being 6 or 7 and hearing his father beat his mother in the other room, and that he was so distraught at the time about not being able to protect the person he loved more than anything. He said he’s carried that guilt ever since, but that he has also tried to repress the memory (that one and others). His mother at the time relied on him heavily for emotional support and told him about the incident in detail when he was still a kid. He also said that when he was using his father’s phone a few months ago, he saw an “I love you” text to a family friend who is in her early twenties. He didn’t tell me because he wanted to pretend it never happened, but that he felt disgust and like he couldn’t look at his father the same way, in addition to guilt about him cheating on his mom.
The main point that he communicated was that he has a tremendous amount of anger and hurt towards his father, and a tremendous amount of guilt for what his father has gone through. He said his only way to be able to handle it was to repress the feelings and lie to himself that things are normal or fine, the way his parents do. But that my comment punctured that defense mechanism, and his response was to completely lose control emotionally. Basically that none of it had to do with me and entirely to do with his dad, and that he felt so incredibly guilty and horrible that he could have acted that way. He’s signed up for therapy but said he would respect whatever space I want to take in the near term.
He is very gentle, caring, and sweet as a person, so it did feel completely out of nowhere and out of character. I don’t feel unsafe around him, but I do think him working through these feelings are a bit of a necessary thing for us to be in a marriage. It was a bit of a breakthrough for him at least I think, as it has felt like though he cognitively lets himself get angry toward his father and condemn him, he hasn’t really emotionally processed it, if that makes sense. I’m hoping this insight will allow him to break the family cycle of normalizing and repressing, and to start to process and heal.
This is great for your husband, but how do YOU feel about all of this? You can have all the empathy in the world for someone and still realize that his behavior was not ok and that you no longer want to be with them.
You didn’t mention it, but please, please do not have children with this man until this is all sorted.
what are your favorite slightly fancy omelets? trying to think of some fun options to keep on hand for dinners.
I learned how to make Spanish tortillas on vacation this year and they are yum. (Omelette with potatoes and onions, cooked in olive oil.)
My family loves these. They’re great for nights where everyone is running around to various activities, practices, etc, since they’re good at room temperature and travel well. We use the Cook’s Illustrated recipe.
I like more bitter and less cheesy – latest one was puttanesca-inspired and yummmmmm.
Goat cheese, mushrooms, tomatoes, and avocado.
Boursin, maybe with ham or bacon and tomato!
smoked salmon with a cheese of your choice (goat, feta, cream cheese, whatever), plus usually spinach or tomato.
Roasted sweet potatoes or squash, chorizo, mushrooms, and boursin or herbed goat cheese
Hello –
We had a fire at our house. No one was hurt, thankfully, but the house is uninhabitable. State Farm is providing long-term, temporary housing, and we have a remediation / renovation company working with us to do clean up and repair. We expect to be out of the house for several months.
If someone has through this, do you have any tips? Thanks!
Oh no!!!! I’m so sorry.
not me personally, but a close family friend has and they had to completely rebuild.
– not sure how long ago this was, but make a list of every item you lost
– think about whether or not you actually need to replace those items
– if you lost pictures or other sentimental things, ask others for copies – this was the house of my sister’s former childhood bff (they had a huge fight senior year of high school, but our parents remained close friends) and my sister still had a bunch of pictures from high school and from the girl’s bat mitzvah she offered to copy and share
– will you be going back and forth to the house frequently while the renovation is happening? what papers or clothing or other items might you need to be able to access during the renovation or not want in your house if you have people coming and going and you aren’t living there?
– how will you feel moving back into the house? any fire prevention measures or fire safety/fire escape measures you want to add? Not sure if you have kids, but this might have been a fairly traumatic event for the,
– if you want to make changes to the house, now might be the time
most importantly, glad no one was hurt, but even though no one was hurt it’s ok if you feel scared/sad, etc.
I’m so sorry. If there is a mortgage on the property, the mortgage company can be really helpful in getting the insurance company to do their job right. The bank wants the house to be marketable. So if the insurer tries to give you short shrift, don’t be shy about getting the bank involved.
My neighbors hired a specialized consultant called a public adjuster to help them get a fair deal from their insurance company. They said that the public adjuster was of enormous help.
Has anyone had clothes made for them for work? I’m a very small size and petite and I’m so tired of nothing ever fitting. Many years ago when I was on my post-bar trip in Vietnam, I had suits made and while my style was questionable, those suits fit me. Curious about whether anyone’s done this in the US?
I almost feel like it might be worth a trip to Vietnam to have it done now that you are dialed in to your style. When I was in Hoi An a few years ago I had some things made and there was a young guy getting a whole work wardrobe made, from shirts to outerwear. Also they will keep your measurements on file and going forward they can make things and ship them.
A thought – would it be possible to get measured locally, but have a tailor abroad make what you need?
I have not found the selection of fabrics available in Vietnam to be suitable to western work wardrobe. Purchased a few dressy pieces and a few casual pieces over numerous trips, but i just could not find quality fabrics in VN for work clothes.
Are you near any large cities? You might find a Vietnamese tailor in a bigger city in the US who could work with you.
I haven’t tried it yet because I just don’t need suits as much post-Covid, but if you still need suits, Brooks Brothers is doing made-to-measure suits and shirts for women now.
would you tell a loved one if they chewed or breathed too loudly (like panting through their mouth)? or do you think that’s always a you problem?
It’s essentially always for medical/development reasons (poor development of the facial bones and dental arch in childhood, for example) so no, it’s not really fair to critique it.
Some people are really sensitive to chewing noises and are easily repulsed by things others don’t notice as miuch. So consider that it might also be related to your own sensitivity, not just how disgusting your loved one is.