Wednesday’s Workwear Report: Janet Tie-Neck Cotton Poplin Shirt
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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
The tie on this tie-neck blouse from Universal Standard is a little bit unusual, but I like it. I think I would describe it as somewhere in between a bow tie and a traditional women’s tie-neck bow? It might be fun to try out, and if you hate it, it’s removable and you’re still left with a great button-up.
Universal Standard includes hidden snaps at the bust to prevent awkward gaps, so this top is a win all around.
The blouse is on sale for $86.40-$92.40, marked down from $154, at Universal Standard and comes in sizes equivalent to 00-40.
Sales of note for 10/16
- Ann Taylor – 50% off + free shipping on everything!
- Brooklinen – Friends & Family – 20% off sitewide and 50% off select bundles
- J.Crew – Extra 50% off 3+ sale styles with code – includes lots of suiting, sweaters, and pants
- J.Crew Factory – Friends & Family, extra 15% off your purchase
- M.M.LaFleur – October Sale Event, best prices of the season (Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off on other items)
- Nordstrom – 5840+ new markdowns for women, up to 40% off
- Talbots – Friends and family, 30% off your entire purchase
- Theory – End of season sale is on with extra savings (new prices are marked)
There was a comment late yesterday that mouth breathing is caused by childhood neglect. If that poster (or the others from that thread) are still around, I’d like to hear your thoughts. What should be done differently in early childhood?
I’ve been a mouth breather my entire life. I’ve seen several ENTs starting from early childhood; had my tonsils and adenoids out at 5 which didn’t fix things, deviated septum surgery at 13 which fixed some, and 2 surgeries since. I see an ENT regularly who has advised against more procedures and do all the sprays and meds now.
I was made fun of a lot as a kid for breathing loudly, and I’ve noticed my 3 year old snores and have an appointment at a pediatric ENT for her. Maybe I am just really sensitive but I don’t want to carry over my own medical issues to her, and yesterday’s post was the first time I’ve heard that mouth breathing is caused by medical neglect. If you believe that, how? What needs to be caught earlier or differently? I don’t want folks to look at my daughter in 30 years and make fun of her bc I was a neglectful parent.
For my own case my breathing issues would have been fixed by a palate expander and myofunctional therapy in childhood, easy peasy. Children’s bones haven’t fused yet so they don’t have to get anything broken to fix the issues, it’s much easier to heal from and a significantly less invasive procedure. Fixing it as an adult is not really feasible because I need to work a real job and can’t be out for extensive time while my whole jaw is busted and wired. Instead I took the ‘realistic’ option which means having a bunch of appliances and therapies which will get me to 70% but I can talk and won’t have various broken bones for 2 years.
Do you have proper tongue posture?
My mid-30’s palate expander was a relatively mild experience. There was no busting my jaw and wiring. There was no missed work. They just put it in and I expanded with a key once a week for a year.
Am I missing something? I don’t see anything there implying that it’s a neglect issue if you check it out and there’s nothing to be done? I’m like you and have also always had trouble breathing through my nose, plus a billion ear infections. I had many appointments with ENTs and allergists as a child (and some as an adult), but the only surgeries they recommended were multiple rounds of ear tubes and I don’t have any allergies that explain the stuffy and runny nose, just non-allergic rhinitis. I take meds for that, which help some, but ultimately, there’s just not a cure for everything.
The exact comment yesterday was:
No not comment on it ever because it’s an expensive and insive fix to rectify childhood neglect.
Oh, I guess I should add in response to the comment above that I actually did also have palate expanders when I had braces, but I don’t think they had any noticeable effect on my breathing. My main issue is that my nose is often stuffy or runny, and they definitely didn’t help that.
Unfortunately sometimes the neglect was on the part of the medical providers who checked things out. (My lifelong genetic immune deficiency was not diagnosed until I was an adult, and not by the first doctors I saw either.)
Also have a genetic immune deficiency and agree that the medical neglect and complacence played a big role in the delay in diagnosis.
I didn’t see a comment about neglect specifically when I skimmed the thread but the person may have been referring to lack of nutrition and dental care. Poor nutrition in utero and in the first years of life is associated with incomplete development of the facial bones and dental arch.
Not even just poor nutrition—a reliance on soft foods also causes some of this. Make sure your kids are chewing often!!
Most parents are balancing multiple concerns, which for many includes getting their child to eat anything at all. People will always try to feed their kids a variety of foods, but parents are also advised not to force their kids to eat anything so some kids are just not going to eat a ton of crunchy or chewy foods.
The mom-blaming has really got to end. Every conceivable issue an adult might ever have is now being blamed on inadequate maternal performance, and unfortunately there are conflicting mandates about almost everything. There is only so much mothers can do. At some point you have to accept that personal responsibility and also the luck of the draw also exist.
I mean, your excuse is valid. It doesn’t mean there isn’t a consequence to it.
I don’t see anyone “mom-blaming.” This discussion so far has been about general neglect and no one has singled out mothers.
Ah yes children should take personal responsibility. It’s that 4 year olds fault for not booking themselves a geneticist appointment and driving there, they are entirely at fault because they couldn’t legally address it themselves until 18.
I’m team luck of the draw. Some people have a lot of information and access to specialists, and some people are trying to get by without their families being in acute pain. (Unfortunately) we aren’t entitled to every possible fix.
I’m ok accepting that people are doing the best they can by their children, even if it isn’t always good enough.
To add to this, there’s a very interesting book from the 1930s called Nutrition and Physical Degeneration by Weston A. Price. Full warning that the foundation that bears his name today has almost NO relation to what his book was actually about and has gone full unhinged MAHA/anti-vax, but the original book is fascinating. He was a dentist who traveled the world and commented on how traditional/ancestral diets appeared to be associated with much better oral and facial development (palate/teeth/arch/sinuses/jawline) and almost no dental decay or cavities, whereas the second generations that were introduced to western foods via colonialism had almost immediate negative effects. The photographs are very striking. I don’t recommend treating the book as gospel truth (it’s very much of its times and not a rigorous scientific analysis) but it’s fascinating and suggestive.
From my own perspective – my parents made fun of me for mouth breathing my whole life but never took me to an ENT. I realized in my 30s that my septum was horribly deviated and needed to be surgically fixed. I had the surgery and I’m honestly shocked at how many things in my life it helped with – I don’t get sick as often, sicknesses clear more easily, swimming isn’t painful, I can sleep better, etc. etc.
My oldest needed tonsil and adenoids removed and ear tubes placed at 3 but since then was able to breath easily and slept through the night without snoring. It was also a night and day difference in sickness/recovery – that’s what I would mean by neglect. As my ENT said – little kids shouldn’t snore like a passed out old man. I didn’t know that since loud snoring/gasping/startling awake was ‘normal’ in my family and I was told to ignore it.
Yes, a lot of people treat this as a good manners and socialization issue and think that criticism will fix it, as if children (or adults) just need enough negative feedback and they’ll choose to breathe differently.
My parents frequently advised me to breathe differently (mouth breathing was a huge target of bullying in school, so I was already careful to breathe as discretely as possible). I needed different interventions, but they worked, and I sleep so much better now.
I am also a mouth breather. My pediatric dentist pointed it out immediately because my gums were puffy. We didn’t do anything about it and it doesn’t really bother me. I don’t snore. My septum is indeed deviated but I don’t currently have interest in surgically correcting it unless things get worse.
Whoever said mouth breathing is because of neglect is wildly off base.
This is neglect though; you’re just choosing to neglect it which is different from a parent neglecting it in a young child. It’s definitely bad for your health.
(I’m not blaming your parents; I’m not sure if the dentist didn’t emphasize this enough or failed to refer you appropriately or what actually happened. Usually parents want the best for their kids, but pediatric providers don’t always communicate, or they give the impression that kids may just grow out of things.)
I already have health anxiety and am not going to google the ways in which mouth breathing is bad for me. I’m in good health and my doctors are not concerned or recommend I correct it.
There is also a risk benefit of having your child undergo surgery, and each child is different, so you can’t just blanket claim all parents who don’t get their child an elective surgery is neglect. An experienced ENT wouldn’t say that either knowing each child has different comorbidities and conditions.
I think your doctors would be concerned if they knew that your approach to health anxiety is avoidance, but we’re adult who get to make our own choices.
11:30, I don’t know why you think that surgery is the only intervention.
My mom discovered she was allergic to most commercial toothpastes—manifesting in puffy/bleeding gums and bad breathing. She solved that problem and things improved for her.
To be clear – I don’t have gum issues anymore. I was also a bad brusher and flosser growing up and they were not puffy because of a toothpaste allergy.
When this was actually studied, the number they landed on was one out of three people being negatively affected by surfactants in normal toothpaste (not everyone realized it of course). Two of three people are fine with normal toothpaste.
That’s just insane. People be spending too much time on the internet
Breath: the New Science of a Lost Art by James Nestor has a lot to say about mouth breathing, and breathing generally. It sounds like it is going to be a slog, but it is not. It is a fascinating read.
Ok, I am a mouth breather and have been my entire life. I am an old — as in well past 65. My mother was a nurse and I was at countless ENT appointments as a child due to severe allergies. I took speech lessons with a speech therapist for all of elementary and most of high school. I was never discouraged from mouth breathing or told it was wrong. As an adult I have a cardio/pulmonary disease that requires frequent visits to respiratory therapists for breathing treatments and breathing lessons. Most of what they teach me is pursed lip breathing, so mouth breathing. I also continue to have frequent ENT visits due to allergies. It’s only in the past 5 years that I have even heard that mouth breathing is 1) horrible 2) something that needs to be fixed 3) the result of my bone structure 4) an immediate problem and 5) my mother’s fault.
I’m sorry you have had bad/uninformed medical providers
Get. Lost.
+1000 to you last sentence.
It’s likely that your conditions have been worsened, if not caused, by your anatomy. If you have inadequate development of the sinuses, you will certainly suffer more from allergies.
Neglect is an insanely charged word and feels wildly inappropriate for this type of scenario. Can we assume most parents are doing the best they can. As are medical professionals. And also there’s lots of new research that comes along all the time and changes the recommendations. By some people on this boards standards I was neglected as a baby because my parents had me nap on my stomach even though that was the recommendation at the time. Now we know better so we do better. My parents put my babies down for a nap on their back. I’m sure if I ever become a grandparent, lots of the stuff the experts told me to do with my children will be called neglect by the next generation of pearl clutchers. Most of us are all doing the best we can with the information we have available at the time. Consider this my plea to share new and updated information in a more charitable manner. Life is better when you assume good intentions. Also basically no one makes it out of childhood unscathed, blaming every issue you have as an adult on your parents is a really exhausting way to live in my opinion. Use the information and resources you have at your disposal to improve your life in the ways you can and try to do better with your own kids if you have them. But I promise you will skew up with your kids even if you try your best not to because that’s what humans do. And that’s ok.
+1
Most medical professionals may be doing the best they can, but that doesn’t mean that they’re up-to-date or knowledgeable. It is not uncommon to be harmed by what providers just didn’t know, neglected, or ignored. Test results that they never followed up on or that they interpreted on the fly. I understand the systemic reasons for this that mitigate individual responsibility, but it’s so tempting to accept reassurance that something is normal or okay, that I think we need to remind ourselves that the odds that a provider is just winging it are pretty high compared to other professionals we consult.
+1. Absolutely. It’s so tempting to think that our own actions matter little or that because mistakes will be made, we shouldn’t try to influence our environments and our health, but that’s very wrong. Small choices (and big ones too) can have an ENORMOUS impact. Which doctor you see, how much follow-up you do, what kinds of food you serve, how much activity your kids get – everything matters. Instead of seeing it as overwhelming, why not see it as an opportunity? There’s so much you can shape/influence just by making slight changes to your routine.
+2. I’m so sick of this. We’re all going to screw up in one way or another, even if we’re trying our best.
Childhood neglect seems like a wild take for … mouth breathing.
I don’t know if this is the exact same situation. I had braces and those were great and needed, but as a teen I flat out refused to do a palate expander. As an adult I think I have some slight sleep apnea but I’m happy with my decision not to get the expander. People told me I would regret it and that has never been true. So depending on your kids age maybe ask them too
I’m planning to lean into menswear this autumn. Anyone have tips for integrating ties into your wardrobe? I’m thinking a patterned suit and tie with an oxford, to start.
This site is very femme and conservative. I’d suggest looking at Instagram since there are a lot of masc and NB corporate style influencers.
I use incorporate menswear more on the quirky side, rather than in a more androgenous way. I like use 36 inch or larger scarves folded into a small long rectangle then tie in a windsor knot. White shirt + vest + tie is also another popular look but you need to strike the right balance to avoid catering waiter.
@ Taylor.a.jones showed up on my feed last week and I loved her style. She has a bespoke suit brand, so is advertising for it, but I liked her color combinations.
I do like the vibe you describe but I can’t pull it off while still being taken seriously in my professional office. It just looks like I’m wearing a steampunk costume to work, which puts my general good judgment in question.
Where is your preferred place to sell old but good clothes? Thredup? Posh? Individual resale sites like LaFleur? Local consignment?
i have tried consignment and the real real. both have led to me to determine that it’s not worth my time and energy to sell. I either hold on to things or i put them in the rummage and imagine and intrepid thrifter making a video about finding a pair of ferrgamo shoes….
I have a local consignment store. It’s only worth it for high end stuff that is in impeccable condition. I get paid in store credit and have gotten fun stuff that way. Anything else I just donate – it’s frustrating for the mid level stuff in great shape but it’s never worth the hassle to sell honestly.
Poshmark.
It’s a privilege of not having to, so I don’t anymore but have. Thredup is worthless, poshmark is the best but most time consuming (you need good photos of the actual pieces and the info about what they are to sell them, so original retail information). Realreal takes too much of a cut, eBay is a hassle, local resale shops also usually take too much of a cut to make it worth your time. I give my good castoffs to my friends’ kids who are starting out and love a still good handbag and blazer – for them it’s vintage. The rest I donate.
My local consignment shop is the worst. They routinely steal garments. I wish they would go under to allow for a more ethical company to open up and take the market space.
I stopped trying to sell stuff. Unless it’s designer it’s not worth it. Donate.
This: it’s just not worth my time. Also, I remember when I relied heavily on a good consignment store to make my outfits more stylish/professional on a limited budget. I’m happy to pay it forward now.
Poshmark if you have time to photograph, describe, measure, and post, along with space to store items.
Threadup is a racket when it comes to selling. I would rather donate my items and at least claim the thrift value as a deduction on my taxes than get pennies (if anything) for an item Threadup turns around and sell for fifty bucks.
I’ve never tried to consign locally, but from browsing consignment racks it seems like it would only be worth it for higher end, popular brands in excellent condition and of a current vintage and the correct season.
I’ve sold a bunch of stuff on The Real Real for site credit (I buy a lot of second hand) and find it really easy/worth it. I even bought a second hand Celine bag that ended up selling two years later for more than I bought it for.
For sheer ease of unloading mall brands, Thredup, but expect to earn maybe like $50 from a full bag. It is just not worth the incremental $ to me for the extra effort on items that would sell on Posh for like, $15-$20 max.
If you have higher-end pieces, Posh is worth the trouble, or local consignment – check out how they prices the types of brands you’re looking to sell.
Hah! I’d have loved $50 for a bag of almost new and many with tags items and I got a whopping $1.54.
This blouse looks like some sort of uniform – hotel front desk staff? I do not like it.
I saw it and instantly thought “candy striper” and “nope”
It’s the weird tie.
The tie ruins it.
I think the tie needs a big ol brooch in the middle of it. It’s a very old fashioned feeling blouse, lean into that. Maybe paired with some flowy wide leg pants and almond toed loafers to offset the old lady vibe.
I’m getting railroad conductor vibes. Not sure why but I agree it reads like a weird uniform
It looks like the Wendy’s logo top to me.
Reads vintage McDonald’s to me.
Anyone tried Neem (custom jeans)? They have a pop up near me later this week, and I’m tempted …but the jeans are over $200 and I’d love to hear IRL experiences.
About weight loss –
How do you set a target weight?
I’ve lost a little weight recently going from 20 lbs overweight to 5 lbs overweight. It’s not that much but I guess since I’m 5’4″ it’s very noticeable. I fit back into all my old clothes, even my judgy mom is starting to wonder how/why I lost weight etc. I had initially thought I’d lose weight until I was at a healthy weight by BMI but that doesn’t seem as necessary anymore.
I wanted to lose weight because I had gained some quickly and wanted to fit back into those old clothes really.
No such thing. Just go until it feels right. Some weight targets will take more work, dedicated fasting/dieting. That doesn’t work for everyone.
For me, I lose weight to fit into my clothes comfortably and also address medical issues (pre-diabetes, sleep apnea).
Sounds like you’re doing great. Why not see if you can maintain for awhile, and then if you want to lose a little vanity weight, you can.
Random poll…how much do you care about having shaved legs for a full body massage?
I have a massage early this evening that is focused on the head, and I thought was all shoulders up, with a focus on the head. It’s a speciality massage I haven’t gotten before. I just went and re-read the description and noted that it includes a full body. I’m totally good with this, except I haven’t shaved my legs in a few weeks…. I’m contemplating if if I should leave a little early to try and rush shave or just go with it.
I would not care about this at all.
I prefer the feeling when freshly shaved. TBH if I hadn’t shaved for a few weeks, I would feel like the person was pulling my hair.
The oil should negate this feeling.