Suit of the Week: BOSS Black

185 Comments

1. I guess this is a slightly less offensive form of peplum. I don’t love the jacket (I don’t hate it either, but definitely would not pay $500 for it), but if I was wearing this outfit I would have tucked in the shirt for a cleaner look.

   1. I wish I was wearing this suit right now. Or better yet tomorrow morning. Love it.

      1. Me too. I would definitely scoop up this suit if it didn’t break the bank.

   2. The suit is okay but I love love love the blouse. Too bad it’s so expensive.

      1. I love the blouse too. So gorgeous!

2. For phillygirlruns and others: In the morning thread you recommended doing research about Cross Fit places since not all are high quality. What are some CF specific things you would recommend looking for?

   1. I did Crossfit for awhile but recently canceled my membership and am back at a traditional gym. I think it is a good workout and I definitely am more fit in certain ways that I was before I did it. My suggestions would be to assess culture (some gyms are excessively macho and/or cultish), and also to make sure that the coaches ensure that people are doing the exercises in a way that they won’t hurt themselves. Also, one of the reasons I left my gym was that one of the coaches gave me a hard time about needing to modify certain exercises due to injury and I got tired of arguing with him.

   2. when i found my gym, i looked at the three major affiliates in my city. there are others that were local, but these three were the most convenient to me. in addition to reading the gyms’ websites to see what their programming was like (most gyms will post daily workouts and sometimes post people’s results, so you can see not only what people are doing but the range of abilities/times/weights/etc), i looked at yelp reviews, checked out their social media stuff (facebook, twitter, etc), visited the gym, emailed with the owners/staff, and that type of thing – basically, anything i could do to get a sense of the gym’s clientele, attitude and community. one gym turned me off immediately – it felt sort of bro-ish and threatening, like working out there would make me feel bad about myself as opposed to comfortable while i got better at things. the other one just seemed…meh. the affiliate that i joined just struck me immediately as a fun, supportive place to be. their programming seemed responsible and accessible, and they were very responsive to my emails.

   3. Thanks that helps me get an idea. I have been looking at some nearby and one actually has a picture of someone bleeding during their work out (near their knee). Not sure who thought that was a good marketing choice

      1. I thought it was puking during a workout that was CrossFit’s marketing hook, not bleeding. Perhaps I’ve been away too long and they’ve gotten even more hardcore.

3. I love this whole outfit!!! Good thing I am on a shopping ban. :)

4. I just wanted to thank all you ladies for your keen insight and advice on yesterday’s thread regarding interfaith relationships/religious differences. I ended the relationship last night and he agreed we needed to both move on (surprise, surprise). I’m kinda upset that he probably would have continued on w/ the relationship, with it leading to nowhere, if I hadn’t confronted him. Way to man up. I am, of course, upset and cycling through the usual anger, grief and sadness but I REALLY appreciate the Hive’s support!!

   1. So sorry! If you are in the Boston area, I’m happy to take you out for a drink!

      1. Ditto to SoCal. I am so impressed with how brave you were to confront this head-on. You’re awesome, and I hope that you never forget it throughout the breakup sadness.

   2. You womaned up, which is more important than anything else. Hugs and rawrs.

      1. +1. All you can control is your side of it, and you handled it very well.

      2. Agreed. Hugs. You did the right thing.

      3. This x 1000.

         If you’re in the NYC area, I’ll take you out for a drink. Breakups suck no matter what, but you handled yourself admirably. Take good care of yourself, hon.

      4. Agreed. I’m sorry that you have to go through this, and I agree that it’s distressing that he wasn’t going to say anything…which is probably more evidence that this is the right thing for you.

         1. This exactly. Props to you for figuring out what you need and pursuing it.

   3. I’m sorry to hear that. But you should be really proud of yourself with h0w you dealt with this. I’ve been dealing with similar relationship issues lately, among other things, and I think I’m going to take your example and confront it head on. If I’m end up single tomorrow or the next couple weeks, I’m coming back here to vent but at the very least, please know that you’ve motivated me to do what needs to be done in my own relationship…

      1. Ohhh. Sadface. Good luck and lots of internet hugs.

      2. to both the OP and TO Lawyer – these are not easy decisions, but it’s important to do what’s right for you. good luck and keep being strong.

   4. Good. Ending a non-horrible relationship when there are no real long-term prospects is a very mature decision. I am always proud of my friends when they “woman up,” as Godzilla put it. I am very proud of you, total stranger!

   5. I missed this yesterday, but I think you made the right decision. I’m in an interdenominal marriage (whatever it is when two different flavors of Christianity marry each other) and our two flavors don’t play nicely together. Let’s just say my religion thinks the Pope is dope and his thinks the Pope might be Satan on Earth. We love each other but we would fight a lot less if this wasn’t an issue.

      1. The issue yesterday wash just about different religions, but about what it even means to have a religion/how deeply or how much one practices one’s faith. Several peoe commented that their interfaith marriages work because they are both equally serious about religion. My parents are Catholic and Protestant, have been happily married for over 50 years, each go to their own church Sunday mornings. It really does work for them.

         1. My parents were of different faiths (one mildly christian/the other athiest-jewish) and it worked fine because neither was very religious/cared about imposing their beliefs on the other. I think someone hit the nail on the head yesterday – it’s hard to be in a relationship where the two people have very different levels of commitment to their respective beliefs.

5. I’m about to get myself back into an old hobby from growing up and I am SO excited. I forgot how happy it can make you to have one thing a week that you can look forward to that’s just for yourself!

   I know there are some ladies with horses on here… how did you get back into it as an adult and how do you balance it with work? Do you have your own horses?

   1. Sadly I stopped riding when I retired my horse. She is a 28 year old appendix QH and living out her golden years at a farm that caters to rescue, rehab, and retirement. I was an avid pony clubber in high school, rode about 3 horses/day and showed locally and trained and sold an OTTB. I do miss riding and tell myself I will get back into it someday…

   2. I owned horses when was younger, but now I share a horse with another girl. She owns the horse and has the ultimate responsibility, but I contribute to his expenses and ride him a couple of days per week, sometimes more. He’s high maintenance and it works out to quite a lot of money per month, but it’s a sport that makes me so happy and balanced that for me it is worth it. I will probably buy my own horse in the next year when this horse retires, as I want to get back into showing. Oh and I ride in the mornings before work, usually pre-dawn. Not easy to get up so early, but again, so worth it!

   3. to piggyback on this–does anyone who lives in manhattan ride? where do you go?

      1. I think your best bet is to go out to Westchester/Fairfield County. I used to go out once on the weekends and would ride with girlfriends and then enjoy brunch in the suburbs before heading back into the city on metronorth.

      2. Yes. I go to a stable out in Queens-Lynne’s Riding School. There are actually several stables in the outer boroughs that are accessible by public transit. There’s one in Riverdale that’s supposed to be nicest, I think (Queens is closest for me, so I haven’t tried it). I don’t recommend the one in Propsect Park. The others I’m not sure about. If you have a car, I’d go out to Westchester or Long Island. NYC stables seem a bit odd to me, from what I was used to growing up. If you want to go trail riding, I occasionally go out in Long Island–facebook Big River Barn. I haven’t been in a while because their prices went up, but they’ll pick you up from the train station and if you know what you’re doing, you’re allowed to merrily canter around the polo field.

         1. And to answer the original question, I take lessons when I can. In the fall I was going once a week (on a weekend). It’s been busy since Christmas and I haven’t been in a couple of months, but one of the nice things about NYC stables is they don’t expect you keep any sort of set lesson time, so I can go months without a lesson and it’s not a problem.

   4. I have my own and it’s hard (mostly bc one is psuedo retired and the other would need a lot of work). That said, it is AMAZING. I’d recommend getting back into lessons if you can find someone that will meet your schedule and then maybe doing a lease to test out how it fits into your schedule. Nothing quite as relaxing as brushing a horse after a long terrible week.

   5. I still have my horse, but I rarely get to ride anymore. He is out in pasture with several other horses, so he’s happy but I really miss it! He’s great, because I can not ride for 6 months, and then get on him and he’s calm and isn’t trying to kill me. I would sell him if he had to stand in a stall all day though.

      I agree, lessons or a lease are probably the best way to get back into it if you’re unsure of your availability.

   6. I did it after many years away. I first started back with a private instructor (and in a private place so no one could laugh) with one or two lessons a week. Before you know it, I had two horses. Needless to say, I did not have too many demands on my time.

      Right now I have a very busy practice and can barely find time to do my laundry. One of my ponies passed on and the other is with a family that has time to ride and work with her.

      I would love to start riding again; it is so very good for the soul and mind to spend some time with the horses. I do worry that I may be getting too old to start a third time and I certainly don’t see any openings in my schedule to allow for it. But I applaud you in doing it.

6. I like Boss Black and it is one of the few brands that fit me well off the rack, but I can’t imagine spending this much on a trendy jacket. Also not loving the center seams on the pants.

   TJ: I need vacation suggestions. I haven’t been on vacation for two years, and after three consecutive months of billing 300 hours (with two more on the horizon), I am feeling pretty burnt out. But I’m also overwhelmed by trying to pick a destination, so I thought I’d ask for suggestions as to both places to go and to stay. The parameters: (1) a 6 hour or less flight from SoCal as I’m planning on a < a week trip; (2) tropical beach with good swimming conditions; (3) not an all-inclusive resort, preferably under $300 a night; (4) outdoor activities like hiking or kayaking; (5) spa availability; (6) good food, especially for a vegetarian; (7) outside of the U.S., so my work emails can't find me unless I look for them. I loved Zihuatanejo, and thought Puerta Vallarta was meh. Cabo doesn't appeal to me because it seems like too much of a party scene/nothing but all-inclusives.

   1. I know you said outside of US, but what about Hawaii? Pretty much has everything else you mentioned (including fantastic food), and there are some pretty remote places if you want to go more off the grid.

      1. I thought about Hawaii but I really do have to leave the country so that work can’t find me. My past three attempted vacations were all foiled by “emergencies” that I had to handle remotely and resulted in me working the whole time I was gone. I have a kid who will be left with grandparents when I go away, so just not looking at my phone isn’t an option.

         1. Give them the number to where you stay (room and front desk). Or seriously, get a pre-paid cell for just your parents to call in case of emergency.

            BTW I hate employers who pull this crap.

            1. Me too. I usually add an international texting plan so I can check in on my kid and my parents can reach me in an emergency, and tell my employer that I won’t have cell phone access, will attempt to check email once a day, but because I am in [insert remote location], internet access is poor and it will be impossible for me to do anything other than respond to emails. When I stay in the U.S., this doesn’t work, of course.

         2. What business is it of your employer where you go? Why do you have to tell them where you are? Is it company or government policy (ie, my military husband by law has to fill out where he is going on leave requests)?

            Also, places of the US are remote (there is a famous hot spring in an off shoot trail around the Grand Canyon where you either have to trek in with a donkey/hike or helicopter in), so I don’t think you should write a US destination off completely if you are having trouble finding a location abroad. Why not tell work you are going camping?

      2. Go to Hana. There is no reception in many parts of the road. :o)

         1. This. I was just there this past summer – cell reception is definitely spotty!

   2. Rancho la Puerta in Tecate, Mexico, is awesome but doesn’t quite meet all your parameters. I go every summer to recharge my life.

      1. I looked into it before and thought it looked awesome, but I can’t spare a whole week. Thanks for the suggestion!

         1. You can do less than a week at Rancho La Puerta. Though a week is better! :)

   3. Not sure if it’s too far, but St. Maartin has beautiful beaches and fantastic food. We loved the week we stayed there a few years ago and someday hope to go back.

   4. Costa Rica. We honeymooned there specifically to inhibit blackberry access.

      1. I’ve considered it but so many places looked amazing that I had a hard time narrowing it down to one region. Any specific recommendations?

         1. We went to Drake Bay, Monteverde, and Arenal, staying in a pretty nice resort in Drake Bay, a modest hotel in Monteverde because we were planning to hike and be outside all day, and a very very nice resort in Arenal. I liked Drake Bay’s remoteness/wildness/definitely not anywhere close to an office a LOT, and Monteverde’s greenness/culture (though thought ziplining was seriously the stupidest thing ever). I did not love Arenal due to its lack of “I’m in a foreign country” flavor – the resort we stayed at was absolutely wonderful but could have been practically anywhere, and had all the modern conveniences like TV and internet that were actually really nice NOT to have. Definitely the best spa though. We weren’t interested in going to the more touristy Tamarindo/surfing region at all. San Jose was gross, a lot like Tijuana. I’d definitely go back to Costa Rica and it’s a crazy short flight from Houston.

            1. Thanks!

            2. Can you elaborate on the ziplining? Was it just slower than you expected, or not worth doing because not much to see from that vantage? It’s something I wanted to do in the future so am curious about your experience.

            3. I was really excited to go ziplining. It was the main reason we went to Monteverde. We went to Selvatura Adventure Park, the purportedly “fancy” ziplining facility in the area. Tickets were like $60 a person or something crazy. It totally sucked. There was a lot of standing around and waiting for the rest of the group to get to the next location – everyone zips from point A to point B, one at a time, then everyone from point B to point C, and remember that it’s a cross section of the population, so there are older people, less fit people, kids, and scared people, all of whom can hold up the line, while you stand there and wait and wait. It was probably a 15-20 minute wait between zips. And you often are walking for 10 minutes to get to the next point to zip from. In retrospect, we should have gone hiking ourselves and bought admission to the cloud bridges, which looked really cool.

               The “zipping” itself was actually pretty slow – much, much slower than I expected, you didn’t get to see any of the forest during the “zipping,” and the harnesses/equipment were smelly from use by many people, especially the helmet (which was a flimsy POS). And to be properly harnessed in was actually really uncomfortable, much more uncomfortable than indoor rock climbing for example. It was particularly uncomfortable for men.

               But most importantly, it turns out that the plaintiff’s tort bar and US government regulation are incredibly valuable, and that’s coming from a defense-side-only big firm attorney who thinks the plaintiffs’ bar is mainly an ambulance-chasing, baseless suit filing scourge on society. But in Costa Rica, lord how I missed them and the settlements and reforms they impose. Same goes for heavy regulation from the government. The staff at this “fancy” ziplining place was poorly trained, lacadaisical, not focused, and caused several people in our group injuries with their poor technique. And at the end was the “optional” Tarzan swing that they pressure you into doing, which is basically swinging back and forth on a giant rope. Fun, right? Yes, except the way they stop you is by grabbing your foot while you are still swinging and pulling down with all their weight. Anyone with a passing familiarity with physics understands the forces at work there and why that is a really bad idea. They nearly dislocated the hip of one of the people in our group, yanking down on his leg to stop his momentum. A good plaintiff’s firm would have filed a fat class action here, won a fat award or settlement, and skimmed 30% off as fees. The US would have required the park carry insurance, which would have imposed restrictions and requirements, and regulated the hell out of it.

               I might be willing to try ziplining in the US or western Europe someday, but never again in a undeveloped country. Plaintiffs’ bar, thanks for keeping us safe and punishing companies that hurt people, and US government, thank you for keeping me safe.

         2. I haven’t been, but there is a hotel in Costa Rica that is only accessible by river and has no electricity. That may be tricky with having family get a hold of you, but I imagine that they can get in touch with the front desk who can then get you. Google Pacuare Lodge.

            1. My friends (both in biglaw) went there and loved it. A total disconnect from anything that even remotely looks like or could be connected to work.

      2. Sadly, my husband took business calls while we were hiking in the jungle in CR near Arenal. No joke.

         1. Yep. I got blackberry service throughout Costa Rica 8 years ago. I can only imagine the network has gotten better since then.

            1. Yes, Arenal is very developed. I wouldn’t go back there. Did you go to Drake Bay Anonnc? We had no reception there. It was great.

   5. I would reconsider Cabo. I was there 10 days ago w/ family, including my 2 children under 5. It is now my favorite destination in mexico, and possibly my favorite destination period. We rented a house, so not invovlved in the all inclusive scene, and rented a car. Cabo is just beautiful, with mountains on one side and the ocean on the other. weather was 80 and sunny the whole week, cooling off into the 70s at night. you can do all kinds of water sports and i suspect you could do some hiking as well. The food was very good and there were lots of options. There are lots of spas around, and if you like golf, it is amazing.

   6. My favorite spot is the West Bay in Roatan. It’s a long tropical beach with lots to do. There is a small spa at West Bay Lodge and a massage place on the beach at Bananarama. Vegetarian is limited but do-able. The flight is direct out of Houston.

      It’s more of a scuba spot so there’s a 10pm “curfew” (restaurants and bars close for the night). Most places have wifi but it is a very slow, unreliable wifi and data is capped at like 10MB so not enough to check work email.

      1. Ooh, that looks perfect. Time to go check flights on Kayak!

         1. Yay! Let me know if you have any questions, I’m happy to answer them.

7. I’m really annoyed at my husband right now. My close college girlfriends and I have been planning to do a Google hang-out tonight for awhile (we’re scattered all throughout the country and this is the best way for everyone to catch up with each other). I think I’ve had it on the calendar for a month now, including on the big calendar we keep in our kitchen. I also told my husband about it more than once, and asked him if there was anything going on before I told the girls I’d be free (it’s a nightmare trying to find a time when all eight of us can be online at once). My husband is coming home from a business trip this evening and he now says he had wanted us to spend the evening together since we haven’t seen each other much since last week (I was away over the weekend). This is completely reasonable, except that I had this event with my friends on the calendar and made a point of telling him about it. He’s terrible at remembering plans and often double-books because he doesn’t keep a calendar. If I had known, I could have asked my friends to schedule for another time. Now I know he wants me to cancel on my friends to spend the evening with him. Especially because I know he thinks I often make plans just to suit myself and don’t take his schedule into consideration enough. I disagree and feel like I always make an especial point of asking him about these things just because I know he wants as much notice/input as possible. Which is why I told him, several times, over the last several weeks, and put it in big letters on the calendar. But he will still see it as me saying it’s more important to me to see my friends than to spend time with him. Grrr!!!

   1. I hear you! My husband is the same way about my “basketweaving” activity – that occurs ONCE A WEEK and is also on the calendar. Sigh!

   2. That sounds frustrating.

      Did you not know that he was traveling and returning today, or did you know that but not know that he wanted to spend the evening with you? If the latter, can you make up that going forward, he will put his travel on the calendar you share, and you will keep his arrival evening open for time together? That way you show it’s important to you to spend time with him and the issue here is (your very reasonable) scheduling, not not wanting to spend time with him.

      1. I knew he was getting back tonight, because it’s on the calendar. He also had talked about getting home in time to make it to a class this evening, which coincided with the hang-out time. I even said “oh, perfect — you can go to class and I’ll talk to the ladies!” Going forward I’ll definitely try not to schedule anything for the evening that one of us gets back from a trip, but still annoyed. I’ve offered to cut the hang-out time in half, and he seems okay with that. One of the girls is getting married in May, and so we’ll all see each other then. Otherwise I’d be a lot less willing to cut short the girl time.

         1. Honestly, if it were me I wouldn’t even cut the time. These friendships are important and you were very diligent about scheduling. I dont see why you should have to alter the plan at all. He “seems ok” with it? What about you being ok with it?

            1. +1. Grown-ups don’t need to be treated like toddlers throwing a temper tantrum.

               (And if I sound overly harsh, know that I am often accommodating to a fault in my real life).

         2. So please take this with several grains of salt, but my ex was like this… and sometimes these lessons need to be learned the hard way. I say you should do the hangout for the full scheduled time, and not halve it because your husband is being a bit of a diva. You offered many ways to compromise, in advance, that respectfully tried to keep his needs in mind and he didn’t take you up on any of them. Poor planning on his part does not equal a crisis on your part. I find his behavior disrespectful (would he make you cancel if you had made dinner reservations with your friends? Does it seem “less important” to him because it’s via teh intewebs?)

            I would, however, make sure that there was a special treat to keep him occupied (a bottle of his favorite scotch, a show he missed while he was out of town DVRed and queued up, etc), and make him feel special and missed. But that’s as far as I would go, given that this is a pet peeve and I find it disrespectful.

            Miraculously, when I started saying no to this kind of last-minute preempting of my time, my ex started using calendar invites to reserve time for things he found important (when our relationship was healthy, that is). When the relationship was unhealthy, he’d do things like invite his parents to town for New Years immediately after we returned from visiting my parents for Christmas and put it on my calendar after they bought plane tickets and I couldn’t object. He’d then get angry at me for “not liking his parents” instead of objecting to the large block of family time he’d committed me to, especially when we’d visited his parents for Thanksgiving. Because I have these issues, please take my advice with a grain of salt :) I think you are absolutely more than justified to be annoyed bordering on angry.

   3. Too bad, you told him about your plans several times. You will see him when you get home. If he feels strongly about spending time with you, maybe he should schedule a date night.

      I am not married, but am in a very long term (20+ years) relationship. I’ve had similar things happen where I told the BF I had plans then all of a sudden he’s so sad I can’t go out with him. But he’s a big boy and knows how to read a calendar and mark things down on a calendar. Not my fault if he forgets.

      I am a big, big proponent of maintaining friendships (and hobbies, for that matter) outside of relationships. I would consider my BF to be my best friend and favorite person to be with, ever, but time with my friends is necessary and I think strengthens the relationship. I went through a phase where I was basically dependent on my BF for most of my social life and it was not good.

      1. I agree. You specifically told him several times about this call, which is difficult to schedule and is important to you. If it was a bad time, it was his responsibility to tell you so. He is being a selfish baby man.

         Don’t halve your time, because that is unfair to you friends. Now you know to block out time when he gets home from a trip in the future, and he knows to tell you when there is a problem with what you’ve put on the calendar.

   4. Realistically, how long will the call take? It’s seems silly that you should have to cancel to spend the entire evening with him. Can you do dinner or maybe spend an hour before bed catching up? I agree that you gave plenty of notice, and that rescheduling the group call is an unideal option.

   5. Does he keep a work calendar? I email events to my husband’s Outlook calendar, even if it is a “mascot home late” type thing. Plus, then he has access to it at all times since his phone is always on him.
      He doesn’t get to lord over your schedule if he can’t be bothered to keep up with it. He needs a calendar.

      1. I do this too, and it has made a world of difference in planning and expectations. If I have bookclub, I send a calendar invite to him to block off that evening so he knows he needs to be home for the kids.

         I think your husband is being unreasonable. This is important to you, you told him about it, it’s been on your big calendar – he needs to suck it up and stop whining and pouting. What happened to his class anyway?

   6. Seriously, if your husband “thinks I often make plans just to suit myself” then he’s a big, bright honking orange with neon-chase lights HYPOCRITE.

      His refusing to keep a calendar and causing chaos by double-booking and then trying to bump plans that affect other is a form of “making plans just to suit himself.”

      He may be an angel in all other respects, so decide how big of a stink you want to make on this, but I do think you should sit him down and make clear how he’s actually being selfish. But in this one incident, he’s being an @ss.

   7. I agree with everyone who says you have plenty of notice, but I don’t think that’s really what this is about. Your husband has missed you and is feeling disconnected, and he’s looking for a way to reconnect. I don’t think you need to cancel your plans, but there are better ways to address it than by being annoyed with him. If I were in his shoes, I’d want you to respond to the emotion I’m feeling: “I have missed you too, dear; I wish I’d known earlier that you weren’t going to your class tonight! I’d much rather spend time with you tonight, but there’s no way the girls will forgive me if I blow this date we’ve been planning for so long. Let’s plan a quick catch up afterwards, and can we do something special tomorrow night/this weekend/etc.?”

      I’m sure he wants to see u, but if he’s expressing disappointment to the extent he wants you to change your plans, there’s more going on there.

      1. Don’t want to bash on the hubs, but perhaps being away from his wife is bringing on pressure in a way he hadn’t thought of. I hope you had a happy little reunion and you got dressed again before the Skype chat!

      2. “there’s more going on here.”

         Yeah, as in his selfishness. He’s saying his time and his commitments are more important than hers. That’s why she’s annoyed and it’s a legitimate feeling to when a selfish person inconveniences you. Why should she brainwash herself into not being annoyed when what he’s doing is selfish and annoying? Let’s not convince people to be doormats. Nobody is saying she should kick his @ss out, but rather, they need to communicate about how he needs to plan better and be more considerate of her time.

8. http://www.bodenusa.com/en-US/Womens-Workwear-collection/WQ053/Womens-Walbrook-Wool-Dress.html

   1. Ooh that’s nice. How does Boden fit? According to the size chart I should order a 6, but I wear a 4 in almost everything I buy except 2 in J.Crew. I’m debating between believing the size chart and going with 6 or trying my usual size 4.

      1. I am tall, muscular and slender, and small of bust. I wear a 6 in J.Crew and also a 6 in Boden. Boden tends to run small in the hips/thighs, so if that is an area where you need more room, then I’d trust the size chart. Otherwise I’d go with a 4 probably.

         1. Thank you, that’s helpful. Now I’m spending my afternoon online shopping the Boden site. Most of the dresses I’m looking at say “length finishes at knee.” Can anyone comment on whether they tend to run longish or shortish? Thanks!

            1. If you look at “measurements” and then “garment measurements” for any dress, it will tell you exactly how long the dress is for each possible size.

   2. Pretty! I love the yellow especially.

9. So, I have a bit of a weird question (and let me preface it by saying that I know this is a very good “problem” to have). How do you handle compliments? I’m fortunate enough to be in a pretty prestigious legal job right now. Whenever I tell people where I work, they often say something like “Oh wow, you must be so smart/must have gotten straight As in law school/etc/etc.” I’ve been deflecting by saying something like “Oh, no, I was just lucky…” But I feel like I’m selling myself short by doing that. While “luck” is always involved, I did work really hard to get where I am. But clearly I can’t respond by saying “Yes, you’re right, I was a prestigious candidate for this job.” What’s the best way to handle something like that? (Again, I apologize if this comes off as snarky or arrogant, I really do not mean it that way, and I totally recognize that this is a good “problem” to have).

   1. Smile and say, “I worked really hard to get where I am.”

      1. I like this response. Or you could say “Yes, this is an amazing opportunity for me,” depending on how they phrase it. I also think “you must be really smart/you must have gotten straight As/etc.” are the kind of weird things to say. If you told me you were a SCOTUS clerk or something, I would say, “wow, that’s amazing, awesome for you,” not “you must be so smart.”

         1. They seem like weird responses to me too, but people seriously say stuff like that to me all the time. (For the record, I am certainly not a SCOTUS clerk, it’s just a regular clerkship, but people still have that reaction).

   2. I totally get that. I actually think this is someplace to be humble (and I’m usually all for horn tooting!). The truth is that, especially these days, there are probably lots of equally qualified candidates for any position out there. And even if you were especially well qualified — let’s say you’re a SCOTUS clerk and were the law review editor at Harvard — you still had several points along the way where you were up against equally qualified people and you just had the luck to get picked. So I do think that attributing it to luck is appropriate. Although what I would change is the first part of what you said. So instead of “Oh, no, I was just lucky” I’d say “yes, I’ve been very lucky.” A small change, but I think it affirms that, heck yeah you had the smarts and the grades, but that you also realize that you’re not the only person on earth with those qualifications and are therefore grateful for the luck you’ve had.

      1. See, what I don’t like about attributing things to “luck” is that “luck” can go away, which makes me, personally, feel very insecure about my accomplishments. I’d rather couch it as, yes, I’ve had some amazing opportunities and have been able to recognize and take advantage of them. Maybe it makes the person you are talking to feel better, too – luck is capricious, but it’s entirely doable to watch out for and make the most of opportunities that come your way.

         1. Isn’t it luck, though, when opportunities come by? Plus, what happens if luck does go away? Because it can (see legal job market circa 2010). I also figure it was luck that I got a good brain, the ability to focus long enough to study properly, and parents who created a stable and loving home environment, giving me the foundation to go off and take advantage of opportunities that came my way. (Never mind the luck to be born in the U.S. in the late 1970s.)

            1. +1

               TBK, are you me? (good parents, late 1970s vintage…) :-)

            2. Yes!
               But if it feels self-deprecating to OP to say that, you could just smile and say “I love my job” or “someone’s got to do it”

      2. This is kind of how I’ve been trying to think about it. I had good grades, law review, etc. But yes, there were certainly many other applicants who had equivalent or better qualifications. So why my resume got picked out of the pile and not the guy next to me…it was probably luck. But something about saying I was lucky makes me feel like I’m apologizing for my position.

      3. I like your suggestion since while you do have to work very hard, it’s simply not enough, and some luck does play into it… not “just lucky” but acknowleding both the hard work and good fortune (to get picked).

   3. “I feel very lucky, I enjoy it very much” You are not saying it was luck that got you the position, but you are saying you feel grateful.

      1. I like this.

   4. Original poster here: I guess the real problem is that I keep feeling the inclination to basically “apologize” for my position. And of course, there is absolutely no reason to apologize for being successful, I got it entirely on merit (it’s a clerkship, for context). But I find myself dreading telling people what I do because I know the reaction will be something along the “You’re so smart” lines and I know I’ll end up feeling somehow guilty (because other people couldn’t get clerkships? I don’t know).

      1. That’s odd way of phrasing it. I and a few of my friends are currently clerking at a high level, and people say things like “oh how wonderful” but never oh you must be so smart. If its a compliment like “oh how wonderful” or “good for you” or “what an achievement!” just say thank you. If they say “oh you are so smart” I wouldn’t even really address it, I would just say “its been very interesting so far” because they are saying something thats rather akward. So you don’t need to thank them, and you don’t need to feel guilty. I would just keep going like they hadn’t said it.

         1. “You’re so smart.”

            “Yup.”

            fin.

   5. “Thank you. I’ve worked really hard, but I’ve been pretty lucky too.”

   6. why dont you just say “thank you”?

      1. +1

      2. I agree, say thank you.

      3. So you agree? you think you’re really smart?

         1. This. Exactly this.

         2. If you say “wow, you must be really smart” to someone, you have to be prepared that “Yup”/”Thanks” will be the answer.

         3. Why not? I certainly don’t think I am dumb.

   7. My standard response is: Thanks, I feel very fortunate to be here. It puts a nice end to that topic and you can move on

      1. +1. I always just say that I am so grateful for the opportunity. It takes the focus off you and your accomplishments, but acknowledges that you are fortunate to be in the position you are in.

   8. I actually don’t think what you’re describing are “compliments.” Anyway, they don’t seem to require a response.

   9. Alot of peeople alway’s ask me:

      “Ellen, how in the world did you ever get and keep such a high powered litiegation job in NYC?”

      I alway’s tell them that I was VERY lucky to bump into the manageing partner (LITERALY) in the elevator, and tell them that if they want to be as lucky as me, they NEED to go up and down in elevator’s where they know there are manageing partner’s workeing there.

      I did not know that the manageing partner was even a manageing partner, but now that I do, I think all women should not be basheful about strutting there ware’s like me when I first met him. He liked me! So he hired me! YAY!

      I know I was NOT law review and there were other’s in law school who knew the case’s better then me, but I was VERY sharp in learning to make the best with WHAT I did have, which is my personality and, until recently, my very good look’s. Some women will cruecify me for saying this, but there is NOTHING wrong with useing whatever skill you have to get (and keep) a job, especialy b/c all this sitting on my tuchus has made me gain weight that I alway’s have to LOOSE. FOOEY!

      My dad say’s that a professeional basketeball player who can DUNK, dunk’s! So he knows I can’t dunk, but he say’s I can do alot of other things that make’s me valueable to the manageing partner and our firm. I am sure the manageing partner would have hired a tall guy if he wanted someone tall who can dunk, but he did NOT need someone to dunk, he needed a sharp lawyer who can charm the other side in court as well as the judge’s. That was me! YAY!!!! And I do NOT think I have let him down very much. That is why he give’s me bonuse’s and a 30% clotheing allowance. He need’s me to make the firm run. He often calls me “his main man”, even tho I am a woman and he know’s it.

      So I say take the complement, but tell them you earn it every day, b/c you are NOT just getting paid for bieng a pretty wall flower. There are alot more girls prettier then me in NYC, but not prettier AND smarter. YAY!

   10. I vote for “thank you” or if “thank you” doesn’t seem quite appropriate, then “it’s kind of you to say so.”

   11. I think you should handle this as if you went to a very prestigious school. When asked where you work, just give the address. If someone figures out it is the courthouse, just say you work in the judge’s office. If they ask if you are a law clerk, you can say you follow the judge around and sometimes draft documents that occasionally get published as opinions. ;-)

       1. See, I think that’s too coy by half. Reminds me of when I was a first-year associate at a Verra Fancy BigLaw firm way back before the earth was cool. I was so overwhelmed by the whole scene that when anybody asked me what I did, or where I worked, I’d mumble “uh, I work for a law firm.” If I had it to do over again I’d just state the facts, and I think that’s what the OP should do, too.

          1. See I do this because I look fairly young so I always get shocked expressions when people find out I’m a lawyer. If I’m in a group of other professionals, I won’t be so coy but I find I get shocked reactions when mixed company finds out I’m a lawyer. I generally try to avoid it because I find that often, people are very off-put by the fact that I’m a lawyer

             1. Huh. Which raises all kinds of interesting questions like “why are you hanging out with people who are put off by the fact that you’re a lawyer?” and “why do you care that they’re put off that you’re a lawyer,” and “how is their problem with your profession YOUR problem?” I mean, I totally know how you feel because I’ve been where you are. And if I had it to do over again, I’d have just owned it and let other people’s reactions be other people’s problem.

       2. Did anyone else think this was a sarcastic nod to the Harvard brouhaha from some weeks ago? Anyone? Bueller?

          1. haha I hope so! Its either sarcastic or we have the worlds biggest d*uche as a commentator

          2. I went to school in New Haven.

          3. D’oh! And here I am being all earnest about it…

10. Kind of gross threadjack: Post-pregnancy hormones or too much baby moisterizer or something have given me the mother of all zits right on my cheek. It’s gross and I am worried that it will create (yet another) dark red scar there. Anything that I can do now to prevent it from scarring? (And, while we’re at it, anything anyone likes for clearing up old scars?) I’m a fair-skinned redhead, if it matters.

    1. I’ve read that peels can be helpful with old scars. I haven’t done one myself, but there are lots of reviews out there. Good luck and I’m sorry – I’ll just say though that I bet it is a lot less noticeable to others than you think!

    2. To piggyback on Lyssa’s question, does anyone have any suggestions for fading dark brown acne scars on light brown (think Beyonce) skin?

11. Don’t touch it! (I know it’s hard to resist.) Your derm can give you a cortisone injection if it’s still a cyst (i.e., hasn’t popped) but I’m sure with the baby and all going to the derm isn’t something you have time to do. I would try to calm it down with ice or a drying lotion (Mario Badescu or the DF sulfur mask) and try your best to stay way from messing with it.

    1. Should have been a reply to Lyssa.

    2. What does the cortizone injection do? Can any doctor do that? I have an appointment with my PCP tomorrow for a normal checkup, and I have a vicious cyst on my chin that I would really, really like to get rid of seeing as how I’m doing a boudoir shoot next weekend. Can the PCP fix it?

       1. Not sure if your PCP can fix it or if it has to be a derm, but it’s worth asking. The cortisone calms the inflammation and reduces the swelling and redness. I always feel that the scars are left when cells are damaged by the swelling and my picking on the zit, so the sooner you can calm it down the better.

       2. I would be careful asking a PCP to do an injection – if too much cortisone is used, it can result in a pit mark. If it isn’t something they do frequently, I wouldn’t recommend it.

          1. Have you tried Clinique’s even better spot remover? Worth a shot. I don’t use it for what you describe but it’s evened out my sunspots nicely.

12. Piggybacking on Kat’s previous post, does anyone have a link to a frugality article? A blog for inspiration on how to live frugally? I want to cut back this year and save as much as possible, and there may be obvious ways to save that I am missing.

    1. The Simple Dollar is a good blog. Covers everything from investments to making your own laundry detergent.

    2. Get Rich Slowly

    3. I’m interested to hear this as well. I find that lots of the frugality blogs often focus on the “little things add up!” mantra. While that is true, my biggest piece of advice for saving money is to look at the big rocks — cost of housing, transportation, and monthly recurring fees. The “make your own detergent” saves you what, $10 a month? Or skipping the starbucks or weekly manicures is $100/month? but choosing a smaller place to buy/rent could save $1000/month.

       Other advice I’ve used is to avoid putting yourself in spending situations — for me, that’s avoiding online browsing when I’m bored (waaaay too easy to have multiple $150-200 jcrew orders from a slow work month); for others it might be switching up plans with friends from pricey c*cktails to potluck dinners, etc.

    4. I believe in just saving more. That way you have less to spend. I suggest saving a little more next month and then waiting a month tosee how that impacts your ability to pay your bills and other necessities. The other spending will adjust accordingly. If everything still gets paid, continue to add that extra amount to your regular savings. Rinse and repeat.

       1. I am a big fan of this too. I had a bit of an impulse spending problem and step 1 for me was simply saving more, as East Coast Anon suggests. Once I had gotten used to that, step 2 was implementing a budget using Mint. I am now a Mint addict.

       2. Yep. Have the money automatically vacuumed out of your paycheck or checking account before you even have a chance to see it. After a while you won’t even miss it.

13. Ladies, what do you all think/know about aspartame? I’ve been hearing about the evils of it from many of my friends, and I myself get headaches when I drink Diet Coke. Are there any reliable studies that I can look at? Everything I’ve seen so far sounds pretty…unofficial.

    I’ve never had an issue with it before, but over the past few years I’ve begun to get headaches from my Diet Coke. I used to consume an insane amount (10/day) and now am down to 1/day, but I still get them immediately after I drink one. I’m curious to know what is (most likely) true about the claims and what is not true.

    1. Well, you know what’s true for your body, so that should be good enough, no?.

       I recently had to give up all artificial sweeteners and HFCS because of reasons, and I think it really is changing my sweet tooth. I no longer feel like I *have* to have a soda after lunch to get through the afternoon, and if I do get something like a Limonata which has real sugar, I enjoy it and then I’m done. The thing about artificial sweeteners and HFCS that I have read that makes them seem insidious is that they don’t trigger satiety.

       Also, and this has nothing to do with health, but it pleases me: I found Hansen’s has tonic water made with real sugar, and they sell it in cunning wee little 8-ounce cans. Perfect for one drink! I always used to end up with half a bottle of tonic left over and then it would go flat.

       1. Yeah, it is good enough. I’ve just been having a variety of other weird things happen with my body, which are connected to aspartame in some studies. I was curious to know if the link was strong enough for me to think/hope these things will go away after I give up Diet Coke.

          There are also a few other things that I use that contain aspartame (Crystal Light, etc), so I’m trying to figure out how much I need to get rid of.

          I’ll have to look into the Hansen’s tonic water. I enj0y the soda that they make, so I may like that as well! Thanks for the suggestion.

       2. Artificial sweetners really dull your sweet tooth. I cut back significantly while pregnant and even several years later, I have a hard time with some artifically sweetened foods. They just taste too sweet. I don’t mind splenda/sucralose in beverages, but that’s about it.

    2. From Wikipedia:

       The potential health risks have been examined and dismissed by numerous scientific research projects. With the exception of the risk to those with phenylketonuria, aspartame is considered to be a safe food additive by governments, worldwide, and major health and food safety organizations.[2][10][11][12][13] with FDA officials describing aspartame as “one of the most thoroughly tested and studied food additives the agency has ever approved” and its safety as “clear cut”.[4] The weight of existing scientific evidence indicates that aspartame is safe as a non-nutritive sweetener.[10]

    3. My stomach rebels against artificial sweetener much like when I get a foamy latte, it makes me all farty and bloated. I’ve tried to find reliable research but having such a strong and immediate reaction, I just chalked it up to my body not liking artificial sweeteners and stopped putting them in my body. Would the research make you more or less inclined to continue drinking Diet Coke?

       1. No, I’m mostly just curious to know if there have been any reliable studies done on it: outside of the FDA (not discounting their research), or whackjobs who claim everything is bad for you.

       2. Those are the reasons I had to give ’em up. I was trying to be delicate, but I may as well bring my bowels to the party too. Fooey.

    4. I don’t know about aspartame generally, but if it is causes problems for you specifically you should just stop drinking it. For example, I can no longer drink milk. Does that mean it’s bad in general? No, but it means it is bad for me. Your headaches are telling you something; you might as well listen.

       1. agreed here. cut it out, see if that improves things. if it does…that’s all you really need to know. i also used to be a massive diet soda addict, to the tune of liters and liters a day…gave it up cold turkey, which was a lot easier than i was expecting, and never went back. i gave up gluten, other artificial sweeteners and most added sugars at the same time, so it’s hard to pin down the real factor(s), but i lost a ton of weight, skin got better, got faster/stronger, had more stable energy levels, slept better, blah blah blah….i don’t miss the stuff that much and i like being healthier, so i stick with it.

          1. Agreed. I do not consume any artificial sweeteners, rarely (if ever) drink soda, and pretty much eat no corn syrup/similar sweeteners if I can at all help it. I too cut all this out after (many many years ago) having what I think was a soda addiction, and I’ve never looked back either. Sure, the one Coke I have a year with a burger or something on July 4th is great, but honestly I don’t miss it. And even if there are not a ton of studies about food checmicals/what have you, I generally think the more natural and holistic you can be, the better. Not saying go crazy (sometimes we can’t control everything), but rather trend towards eating as much whole food as possible and just eating the stuff with additives as little as possible/as treats.

             Coming from somebody who could go to town, btw, on a bag of Flaming Hot Cheetos. Just saying that is a rarity/super treat/generally aiming to cut out can be very beneficial.

    5. I am alergic to an artificial sweetener like aspartame called aculfame potassium (or ace-K). I discovered this one day when I had a horrid allergic reaciton to something, though was unsure what. Had coughing, throat swell up, hives over my whole body, chills, the whole bit. About 2 months later, I had the exact same thing happen. The only thing common between the 2 days? Soda: Pepsi One and Lime Diet Coke. The only common ingredient between those two items? Ace-K. Started to look on the internet for information about allergies to aspartame/artificial sweeteners and found out a lot of people have this issue. Does it mean everybody does? No, but chemicals are not necessarily the greatest things and if there is a lot of anecdotal (and personal evidence!) that you should perhaps avoid, well… avoid.

       On that note, I have never had a similar reaction again since I stopped consuming foods with ace-K. BTW, once you start looking, it is in everything. I was traveling recently and trying to be healthy at the suburban wasteland hotel I was at. Grabbed a ‘healthy’ version of yogurt at the free breakfast (it was an Activia or some other ‘healthy’ brand). Almost was about to eat it when I decided on a whim to check ingredients, and there it was… ace-K. It’s in gums, energy drinks, juices/smoothies… seriously you have to look everywhere. So, if you do decide to cut out aspartame to see if it helps with your headaches, start reading ALL labels because there is no point in trying to cut it out with Diet Coke only to be eating it in a million other things. Need to actually get rid of it to see if it makes a difference.

       1. I watched a video on my FB newsfeed yesterday about healthy foods and it stated that aspartame is literally the fecal matter of genetically engineered Ecoli bacteria. So there’s a thought. I don’t know if it’s true or not, but when I heard that I was glad I’ve cut it out of my diet not too long ago. I mean, I know where honey comes from and it’s not a turn off, but fecal matter is another story.

14. UGH: http://www.buzzfeed.com/andrewkaczynski/fox-news-host-doesnt-think-rapes-happen-on-college-campuses

    “When’s the last time you heard about a rape on a college campus?”

    1. Um, last week?

    2. What???

    3. To clarify, I was quoting the guy in the story, not saying that I haven’t heard of rapes on college campuses (of course I have, and I am horrified by the story).

    4. Just for the record, this was said by a *liberal/Democrat* host, Bob Beckel. I know that the inclination is to pretend that these sorts of things are only said by the side that you disagree with (for everyone, myself included), so I think it should be clear that stupid statements about rape are completely bipartisan in nature.

       (Not blaming the OP for it, just clarifying because most people probably won’t click the link, and a lot of people are just going to think Fox News = Republican.)

    5. When was the last time he asked about crime on college campuses? That might influence how much he’s hearing about it. It’s not like every assault makes the national news – or even makes it to the campus cops, for that matter.

       1. And for clarification (since I didn’t watch the clip), did he make the statement to try to show that rape isn’t happening on college campuses (that was my initial read on the statement)? Or was there some other inflection that I’m missing?

    6. I loved the total WTF!?! responses he got from all his co-hosts…

15. I’ve decided to go for a major hair color change. Just made the appointment and everything…for Sunday. Now that I’ve made up my mind, I want to do it now!!! Anyone else gone for a major hair color change recently? How did you feel about it?

    1. I was blond my whole life and got bored with my hair. I dyed it a medium-dark brown a few months ago. My colorist said I would hate it for two weeks, then love it and want to go even darker. I hated it at first, warmed up to it but never loved it, and now I can’t wait for it to fade so I can go back to my normal color. But it was fun to do something different.

    2. No, but I’m about to! Waiting till next month for a variety of reasons, but its definitely going to be a bold change from what I have now! I love changing up my hair (cut, color, etc) but have been sticking to changing the color because I’m keeping it long for my wedding.

16. So, my therapist is pregnant. I want to get her a small (token) baby gift, but I don’t know if that is appropriate for a therapist/patient relationship – any thoughts?

    1. Would you get her a gift if she was your lawyer, your plumber, your hairdresser, your internist, etc? How long have you had/will you have a relationship with her? I think you feel closer to therapists because they know your secrets, but in the greater scheme of things, it’s pretty one-sided.
       Not saying you shouldn’t, this is just the analysis I would use. Plus, it’s easy to get a small baby gift so even a pack of diapers would be a nice gesture.

    2. I’d go for the totally classic baby gifts–an anthology of children’s literature, an outfit or two in size 6 mos or 1 year–just focus on the baby and don’t even try to bring your relationship into it. Don’t forget the gift receipt!

    3. I have no idea if this counts, but I got my hair dresser a non-mushy card and a supersoft (but not super-expensive – yea, Target) baby blanket and called it a day. She was very touched by the gesture. Would seem that a similar thing would be perfectly appropriate.

    4. She might not be able to accept any sort of gift, depending on the ethical code of her profession (I used to be a social worker, and we couldn’t accept anything). If that is the case, a card may be your only option. That’s really nice of you to think of her though!

    5. I give my therapist a small gift every Christmas. Bottle of wine, souvenir from my December vacation, once a pop-up book of phobias. At this point we have our routine: I hand it over, he says “I require no gifts, ” I say “I know,” he says “Thank you,” we get on with the business at hand.

       All of which is to say I think a small gift like a blanket or box of diapers would be fine.

    6. My inclination is not appropriate. It’s a different kind of professional relationship than what some of the other posters mentioned above (attorney / hair dresser / etc.). Unless this is some more relaxed “coaching”, there is usually some agreement to not talk about your therapists personal life

       1. Agree on the not talking about therapist’s personal life. I literally know nothing about this woman apart from (1) her name, (2) that she is a licensed therapist, and (3) that she is pregnant (and is telling all of her clients so that we can think about what we want to do during her maternity leave ie take a break or get a referral to an interim therapist).

          If I do anything, it will be a non-mushy card with a straightforward congratulations and a children’s book < $10.

    7. Speaking as the daughter of an MFT, I know that my mom sometimes feels uncomfortable when her clients give her gifts, particularly nice ones. She certainly appreciates the gesture & thought, though! I think a nice card or a small gift ($20 or less – book or stuffed animal) would be appropriate.

       I think if a gift is over a certain dollar amount, ethical requirements dictate that she can’t accept it, but I think that limit is pretty high ($100 or so).

17. Thanks for all the advice earlier today on midtown salons. I disregarded all of it on a whim and chopped off 15″ at a Japanese salon on east 53rd. I feel so light!!!

    1. Hehe. Go, you. Sometimes it takes reacting to other suggestions to convince you that you were right all along ;). Get down with your light self!

       1. Yes, this. (Admitting that I’ve done this with style/accessories advice!)

    2. Wow! Go you!

    3. NICE!!

18. This might be late, and I can try again tomorrow, but does anyone have advice for how to find low-cost family law help in Missouri? The Springfield area preferably, but St. Louis could work as well. Trying to help a friend.

    1. addendum: also, any CA family lawyers that might be willing to do a consult on an adoption/child support issue or any recommendations for CA family law? My friend is in CA and this is kind of the last straw and could really just use someone to explain what the options are at this point. Thanks!

       1. If the friend is in Los Angeles County, there are self-help centers at the downtown, Pasadena, and Pomona courthouses (maybe others, but those are the ones I know about) where they can help walk her through the paperwork.

       2. Same question for Tampa area–child’s legal relationship must legally be severed from dad, who has contributed ca $1100 during child’s 10 years of life, does not call or visit. Then papers re guardianship in case of mom’s early demise must be drawn up bulletproof so grandparents & aunties can’t override. Does this require a trust if there’s no estate except for social sec’y & household goods?

          1. Guardianship is determined by the courts in the best interests of the child. Your views will be heavily weighted, but you can’t make them 100% binding.

             And if father isn’t contributing, it’s really irresponsible not to be leaving an estate. You should have life insurance, and a substantial amount of it.

             And you should really hire a good lawyer for this. It’s your sons future.

    2. See if area law schools have clinics. Also check with the state and city or county bar associations for pro bono services. Sorry I can’t give more location-specific resources, but those will be good places to start!

       1. This – Washington University is a fantastic law school and it’s in St Louis. They can probably point you in a good direction.

       2. As per the suggestion of petitesq, here’s a short list of other Missouri resources found via Google searchs for “Legal aid St. Louis MO,” “Legal aid Kansas City MO,” and “Legal aid western missouri.” Except for the first organization listed below, I don’t know enough to comment.

          Notes: I’m neither a lawyer nor a current resident of Missouri. This comment may get stuck in moderation b/c of the links.

          Legal Services of Eastern Missouri at http://www.lsem.org
          For their locations see http://www.lsem.org/OurLocations_286.aspx
          Their executive director is a caring, ethical, and idealistic professional who has been with the agency for over 30 years.

          http://www.usattorneylegalservices.com/free-legal-aid-Missouri.html
          List of free legal services in various MO locations, including St. Louis and Kansas City. The site says services are federally funded; I don’t know what happens if the sequester takes effect.

          http://www.courts.mo.gov/page.jsp?id=43918
          Discussion of “Existing Pro Bono Programs in Missouri”
          …this page also had a link to “The Missouri Bar: Pro Bono Opportunities” at http://www.mobarprobono.net/

          Legal Aid of Western Missouri at http://www.lawmo.org/
          List of their offices at http://www.lawmo.org/offices.htm
          They have two offices in Kansas City, one of which is their main office.

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