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Tuesday’s Workwear Report: A-Line Knit Skirt

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A woman wearing a white top, black sandals, and skirt with vertical stripes of reds and pinks

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

This bold A-line skirt from Me + Em is definitely a statement piece, and the statement is “Wow, this skirt is so fun.” With something this dramatic, I would keep the rest of the outfit somewhat subdued. I would love to pair it with something like the crochet sweater polo we featured on Friday, or a crisp white oxford to keep the focus on the skirt.

There is a coordinating top if you’re feeling extra bold, but that’s going to be a lot of look for a day in the office.

The skirt is on sale for $241.50 (down from $345) at Me & Em and comes in sizes XS-XL. 

Sales of note for 7/15:

206 Comments

    1. IDK, Boden has had similar ones in the past. I feel that if you are tall and thin, sort of like Tilda Swinton, you can even make this business formal with hard accessories. I could frump this up: wearing a size too small, wrong shoes, wrong proportions, wrong top, humidity hair. Execution can be more of a challenge with some items.

      1. I’ve always thought of Tilfa Swinton’s look as basically dowdy, but worn with such presence that it somehow still looks awesome.

      1. I love it, too! I had a similar one from J Crew but in all different colors that I loved. Finally had to get rid of it when it got an unremovable stain on the front. Alas, the one featured here would be floor-length on me.

      1. The inconsistent stripe width makes it seem messy to me. I thought it was really bad pleating at first.

    4. I’m still not used to seeing midi/mid ankle skirts as anything other than dowdy. This would be so much cuter if it was shorter or full length.

  2. My son is in 7th grade and I’m looking at high schools for him. I’m in north Jersey and it’s a 50 ride to UES.

    He has yet to be academically challenged. He has Aspergers type autism. I’m considering supporting him applying to Regis and wanted to ask anyone on the board about their experience as a parent of the school.

    My son has an IEP but the support is minimal. He struggles socially and that problem will exist no matter the school. I’m in North Jersey so the NYC magnet schools aren’t an option. Our local high school is good enough but academically it’s very stale for him.

    1. I have a similar kid and I will say that while she floated academically, there was something about a huge public high school that wore her dealing-with-it battery out. I think it was the lack of recess? I feel that if I could have found a high school for her like Davidson (small, nurturing, spread out so you have a lot of walking in your day), I would have sent her. Instead, autism (even if you are high functioning to the point where 50 years ago you’d have just been quirky) is a no-go from admissions if you are candid on the paperwork. Boo. Some people we know have sent their kids, mostly boys, to autism- or neurodivergent-friendly boarding schools where their kids have thrived. I am sure they tailor classes to the students so they are learning a ton even if these aren’t the Lawrenceville-type schools near you. IDK if private school elsewhere is in the mix or if Craig School is still around (Morris County), but we have many family connections there as students and teachers and if we lived in the area would also look there. I think they added a high school at some point (or many boys went to Delbarton for high school). Those kids were academically very well prepared for a rigorous high school and then college.

      1. It was probably more than the lack of recess. Even as an adult, a huge public school is an overwhelming number of people (especially people who fall into a category between known and stranger), commotion, noise, bright lights, even smells (chalk, mildew, harsh custodial cleaners).

        I’ve never experienced anything else like it; it’s uniquely draining.

    2. I have a 10th grader with AuDHD who is smart but was floating a bit in middle school. Private school, particularly a challenging private high school, was a total game changer for him/us. Being with intellectual equals (and a fair number of kids smarter than him!) has been great. “2E” (high intelligence alongside neurodivergence) is pretty common so there is a very high population of other quirky kids and he’s found his tribe and really thrived.
      If that isn’t an option financially, I get it. I’d focus on honors programs in your local high schools, as well as supplemental academic programs. Classes that explore a particular hyperfocus can also really help with socializing. As I’ve said to my kiddo – in highly driven/high performing organizations there is a LOT of neurodivergence and it’s much easier (imo) to navigate when that’s more common.

      1. +1 to customizing your experience at the public high school, if that’s an option. My AuDHD kid has thrived in AP and dif classes. Or, is an IB program an option? Accelerated courses haven’t been a total panacea for the social stuff, but it’s been markedly better than middle school. Also, extracurriculars have been huge for him. I feel like he’s basically making his own educational experience. I will say that he still needs some downtime to recover from everything.

      2. I was undiagnosed AuDHD during high school, and honors classes/extracurriculars that let me let loose/fed into my hyperfocus were key to me feeling OK about my high school experience. I took all the AP/Honors classes that were offered, and found other kids there who were also neurodivergent to differing degrees. My parents were also very supportive of me being in band (marching, concert, jazz), where I also found some quirky, smart, hyperfocused kids.

        This is to say: there are ways to make a good public school work, even if a more tailored option isn’t practical. I have fond memories of high school, and learned a lot about myself (even with no real diagnosis) that helped me learn that I needed a smaller college than either of the big State U schools that most of my classmates attended.

      3. Last I checked, Regis was 100% scholarship. I only know adult grads, but it was a great place when they attended.

      4. Eh, as a smart ADHD kid I did better in a big public school with a robust track of AP/honors classes (that by law had to accommodate me) than a smaller private school (which would have accommodated me depending on donation level).

        1. Our big public school is very pay to play for all sorts of things. It is very soft gatekeeping, but still gatekeeping.

    3. I will leave a link in the next comment where you may find more specifics about Regis, as the board is NYC centric. [DC Urban Mom Metropolitan New York City Forum.]

    4. I would check out Lawrenceville too, if he’s strong in academics and you’re open to boarding. Boarding plus the required sports may help him find his people. Freshman all live together, so it’s also a situation where I think you’d have a good sense after one year if it’s a solution or not.

      I went there eons ago, albeit as a female day student, and it was the first place I was ever academically challenged. I think it made me the person I am more than college.

      1. I know a similar son to OP’s son who boarded at Blair from near enough to go home to recharge as needed. I can’t remember where he went to college but he has a master’s degree now.

      2. Hi from Lville ’99. I was a poor kid on scholarship. Boarder. I hated it. But it was indeed more academically challenging than college.

  3. It’s almost markdown time for Pride stuff – anything colorful youve got your eye on?

    1. I could hardly find anything available this year at full price. Got any good links?

    2. I love the whole concept of Pride but really dislike the rainbow color scheme. I wish I felt differently.

      1. I love rainbow everything—Rainbow Brite probably affected me too deeply during formative years.

        1. Same. I’m 46 years old and love a rainbow. My son, who happens to be on the LGBTQ+ spectrum, told me to “not be cringe about it,” which made me laugh. Teens are gonna teen.

        2. I love it, too! I was wearing rainbow stuff long before it became a Pride symbol!

    3. I like rainbows and like supporting the LGBTQ+ community, but really hesitate to make Pride-themed purchases unless it is clear that my money isn’t going to a corporate beast cashing in on a theme.

    4. i’m watching for this one – https://www.williams-sonoma.com/products/rainbow-kaleidoscope-wreath/?catalogId=79&sku=2884185&pickuplocation=ST:%7Bstore_code%7D&cm_ven=PLA&cm_cat=Google&cm_pla=Outdoor%20%26%20Garden%20%3E%20Wreaths%20%26%20Garlands&cm_ite=2884185_14571727833_aud-1967894174833:pla-2189390105450&gad_source=1&gad_campaignid=14571727833&gbraid=0AAAAADrs9cE4NzbleE6LMS4y5txqAOI9H&gclid=CjwKCAjw3ejRBhAdEiwADkqPn5jAIyo1UxwZlTlAiPp19sbIKtrXhPbtVsuAulDlj3jCFpVufpMUmBoCQcoQAvD_BwE

  4. Does anyone know who Beanie Feldman’s stylist is? I need someone to follow who can dress a woman who isn’t a twig well. Beanie always looks fantastic.

    1. If you google “Beanie Feldman’s stylist,” the search returns an article with the stylist.

  5. Trying to take advantage of my rising 4th grader’s national park pass and seeking recommendations for:
    1) Great Smoky Mountain National Park for fall break in early October – I know this is a very busy time of year there so “off the beaten path” recs especially welcome. We’re not normally Airbnb people but seems like renting a house is the way to go here?
    2) Utah Mighty 5 for spring break in mid-March — doable in 8-9 days? if not, which ones would you eliminate?

    1. We did 4 of the 5 in a week – we did not go to Capitol Reef – so I think it’s doable. We had 8 days in Utah, but we had one full day in SLC for a sports competition and because of the timing of that we spent more time driving around than we would have if we had been focused on the parks only. You won’t get to spend days in each park, but you will have time to see parts of each one. Our youngest was 10 for that trip, and it was manageable with her. We flew into Vegas, drove up to Zion and Bryce, then went from there and ultimately flew home from SLC.
      It was an incredible trip and I was blown away by the natural beauty. I knew we would see some cool things, but I honestly didn’t expect to fall so in love with that part of the country! For what it’s worth, my favorites were Bryce and Zion. I also really enjoyed the drive across Utah to Moab, probably because it’s such a different landscape from the Midwest.

    3. Those sound like great trips and I hope you enjoy.

      I keep hearing about taking advantage of the 4th grade national park pass deal, and I don’t get it. An annual national park pass is $80. It’s not even a drop in the bucket of the cost of a weeklong trip to national parks. If you can make it work this year, great. But don’t let a small fee keep you from doing it next year if you don’t make it this year.

      1. I’m aware that it’s not a huge cost savings. However, we haven’t done much national park travel as a family – we do a lot of international travel and with a little kid we found cities easier and more fun for US travel (children’s museums, zoos, playgrounds etc). No shade to anyone who enjoys trekking with toddlers, but that was not my idea of a vacation. But now our kid is getting to the age that she can really hike and national park trips are much more appealing and the park pass is a good excuse to do them. So it’s more of a motivating factor than anything else.

    4. GSMNP is actually free entry, so the national park pass doesn’t matter (I think you now need a separate parking pass, though). The Cataloochee Valley section of GSMNP isn’t connected to the rest of the park by a road in the park (you have to go out and around), so it’s a little less crowded (though not off the beaten path as it’s one of the main areas one of the elk herds hangs around. Fair warning, the road in is slightly terrifying in places). And yes, I’d suggest renting a house/cabin, and do it asap as they’ll sell out for Fall. There are hotels in Cherokee and Gatlinburg if you want to go the hotel route. I am not a fan of Gatlinburg. I like to call it Myrtle Beach of the Mountains. Crowded, overly touristy. Not exactly a calming outdoor experience.

      1. +1 to avoiding Gatlinburg. We stayed in Townsend, which is on the “quiet” side of Smoky Mountain National Park. In addition to hiking we visited Tuckalechee Caverns and it was fascinating.

      2. Pigeon Forge is nicer, IMHO. It can still be crowded and has that feeling of one long strip of traffic, but it’s less so than Gatlinburg.

    5. If you are considering a hotel, look at The Inn on the River. The rooms are all updated (ignore the kind of blah outside). Their free breakfast is extensive. They have a covered patio overlooking the river. You sit out there, eat your breakfast, look at the river, and feed the ducks. They even have duck food.

      In the evening, they do sweet tea and popcorn, as well as a fire pit.

      Indoor and outdoor pools. I think they have kids’ games that you can borrow, too.

    6. You should search whether all of the Utah parks are accessible in March. Bryce is at the highest elevation of the bunch and might still have snow.

  6. I’m taking a week-long staycation later this summer because I really need a break from work. I’m single, no kids and plan to spend the week doing crafts, going to my local pool, taking long walks, etc. Does anyone have any suggestions for how to make sure this feels like a real break even though I’m not going anywhere? My only idea so far is to give up scrolling on my phone for the week. Any other ideas for how to make this week feel like a break?

    1. If you have the budget, staycationing in a hotel always feels much more vacation-y to me than a staycation at home. Probably because there’s no temptation to get caught up in housework.

    2. Going to a coffee shop with my book and spending two hours reading with coffee every morning would be a big piece of it for me. Also, I would pre-do all of the household chores the same way that I do before I actually leave town, so that I’m not doing laundry and groceries on my week off. Finally, I’d decide which nights I want to go out to dinner and go to restaurants/get take out from restaurants that I either already know I enjoy but don’t go to or that are new to me, the same way that I do on a trip.

    3. I’ve come to recognize that every vacation or trip I take involves a lot of deliberate preparation ahead of time: getting laundry done, choosing clothes, packing, taking care of house details so I can be gone, closing down work, etc. Planning activities and researching opening/closing times, setting up meetings or get-togethers, researching good restaurants or local attractions to visit. If I were you, I’d plan on putting in that same amount of work before this week — as if you were actually leaving town. Choose a theme for the week, and build around it: it sounds like you’re doing a “camp week” (crafts, pool, nature), so maybe do a Camp Staycation week.

    4. I second the local hotel idea. I also make detailed, fun itineraries ahead of time, just like I would for a trip somewhere else. Research places to shop, eat, etc. and treat your hometown like a place you’ve never been. Get to those things you never have “time” to do.

      1. +1. You will want a mix of comfortable relaxing things, and novel stimulating things.

      2. I never sleep correctly in a hotel, but maybe a good one near you has a day pass and you can use their pool and eat there.

          1. Even in a fairly basic 3 star hotel I sleep better than I do at home. I think it’s just person-dependent.

        2. Even when I am in very nice hotels (work puts me up in 4+ stars), I can’t get myself to think of them as a destination in and of themselves. They are just a place to stay while I do the other stuff.

          I am more likely to have a vacation-like staycation if I treat my house the same way: it’s a place to sleep while I do the staycation stuff. Practically, that means getting absorbed in my craft without getting distracted by my sofa & TV, treating my home as a landing spot before I go to the pool and then for brunch and a walk, etc. Front-loading the chores and laundry so I don’t spend all my time off on them also helps with the staycation satisfaction.

      3. Meh, the beauty of a staycation is sleeping in my own bed. (I don’t sleep well in hotels.)

    5. Doing the things that you never take the time to do – otherwise it will just feel like a long weekend of normal life! Like, there’s a botanical garden half an hour away? Take your long walk there. Get reservations at places that are hard to get into because you’re flexible on the time. Etc.

      1. A long weekend of normal life is a beautiful thing. I’d pick it any day over schlepping to botanical gardens.

        OP, maybe find a good recipe from a trip you took once and recreate it.

        1. When I think back to vacations that felt long and a true break, it’s because each day was a little different – even for island vacations, hopping around to different beaches, or a boat excursion, or a hike. So, if you don’t want to “schlep” then my advice is still adding some variety to distinguish this from regular routines!

          1. +1. The best way to leave a staycation feeling like crap is to just “hang out at home.”

          2. On the other hand, the most restorative vacation I’ve ever taken was sailing in the Caribbean and every day was pretty much exactly the same. I think it depends on your personality but some people thrive on routine.

          3. I hope with a sailing trip that you had the novelty of navigating, experiencing different islands / coves, etc. and not just staying at the same spot the whole time!

          4. We were moving, yes, but fundamentally the days were exactly the same, and we didn’t go on land at all.
            I’ve also done lake/beach vacations where I was literally in the same spot the whole time and ended feeling very restored. Not everyone needs novelty. It just depends on your personality and what rejuvenates you.

          5. Agree there is an obsession with novelty that not everyone feels. Sometimes you just want to feel at peace.

      2. OP, I’d reflect on some of your favorite vacations and what made them great for you. Are you someone who likes to go to a lake cabin or beach house, where the routine is laid back and pretty similar every day? Or do you want novelty and variety? I think if you want a good staycation, you should mirror it as closely as possible to good vacations. If crafting, laying by the pool, and taking long walks sounds lovely and restorative to you, do that.

    6. You need patio drinks.
      Go out to lunch.
      Go to a few shops that you never take the time to go to.

    7. Take a class – sip and paint, trapeze, whatever. Go see a live performance. Don’t “putter” for more than a few hours, whatever you do. Puttering has a time and place but absolutely not for when you want to have a good vacation.

      1. Puttering is my favorite thing. I’d probably use this time to dump out all of my drawers and put them back together, tossing the trash and putting together a good will pile.

        1. That’s a chore, not a vacation. Enjoying it is fine but it’s literally not a vacation

          1. I mean, a paint and sip class sounds like absolute torture. Everyone refreshes differently.

          2. Everyone is definitely different but words also have meaning and chores are not vacation.

          3. True, but she’s choosing to stay at home. It could be really refreshing to make her house more home-y, restful, peaceful. I’m assuming she’ll be crafting at home, too. Crafting is the ultimate putter, which I support.

        2. I also happily spend my vacation time just puttering around the house and doing mundane projects. The satisfaction of having those off my to-do list is sooo good.

          1. Agree. I’d probably also (re)decorate. Find some candles for grandma’s candle sticks and put them out, buy picture frames to display photos, move furniture, hang art. My husband prefers to putter outside with plants. We compromise, but drink cold rose all day while puttering.

    9. For me, part of the fun of a vacation is the anticipation, so I would make specific plans. Choose the crafts you’re going to make and gather the materials for them, go to your local bookstore and buy a book to read at the pool, plan a neighborhood to walk in and choose a couple of new-to-you places you might want to stop along the way. Make reservations for a class or tour or restaurant. Make plans with a friend. You could even plan your outfits ahead of time and make sure they’re all clean and ready to go.

    10. Don’t answer emails. If you’re off work, be off work 100%.

      Other than that, treat it like you would a vacation. Go out to eat in your neighborhood. Pack a picnic to the pool. If you drink, have a glass of wine with lunch or sleep in and make brunch. Whatever you normally do during the work week, turn it into an excuse to linger somewhere.

    11. Resort Pass and Swimply have passes if you’d just like to hang out at local hotel & resort pools

    12. I love being home so much, I love this.

      100% give up scrolling, and give up email entirely – no checking it at all.
      Have your house professionally cleaned the week before.
      Get new sheets (bedding if needed) and put them on your bed for the first night.
      Save a book for that week. I’ll save a popular book for a vacation and I always think it makes it more fun.
      You’re not spending money on a hotel, so book some splurgy things like a massage (or full day at a spa), mani-pedi, new ridiculous expensive candle you can burn, etc.
      For me personally, I try and keep at least one completely unscheduled day so I can do all the random home things I love without any time pressure.

    13. I think the quickest/easiest way to make it feel like a real break is to do real break stuff on your first day off. Do a thing that you wouldn’t normally do on a weekend, either because the drive is too long, you won’t be able to do any errands or laundry, it’s a little boozy or it requires a lot of concentration. Whatever you don’t normally make room for unless you have an actual holiday, that’s a thing to do on day 1.

      That will give your brain a little aha! moment, and your subconscious will know that this is not a normal weekend, this is vacation time.

      Then do your home puttering whenever during the work days, but spend your first weekend doing holiday things.

    14. Just want to say I love this question. Maybe pretending you are a tourist in your own town for a day or two, or doing what you might do if you had an imaginary bff coming to visit who liked all the same things as you.

      I often take my birthday off of work and then take myself out on a “date.” I enjoy these days SO MUCH. I think some of it is that I feel free to prioritize my own pleasure and enjoyment. Which is a mindset shift for me.

      I also really like the idea of starting each day with something you wouldn’t usually do/intentionality. So dawdling at a coffee shop or eating pancakes on the patio etc. Set the tone for the rest of the day!

  7. In high school, I loved reading short stories. Is that still a genre now? The ones then were so excellent. Now, I read mainly nonfiction because I have such varied chunks of time that I can’t hang onto complex fiction well. But if I read something shorter where I could start and finish in one sitting, I think I’d read more of that. But where is it? Is that just magazine articles (whoops — still nonfiction). I miss the good stuff from English class and feel that there has to be more of that out there, somewhere. Yes?

    1. There are great short story collections. I really like Laurie Colwin’s work from the 70s and 80s, Lauren Groff is probably one of the best contemporary short story writers (albeit a bit dark for me), Claire Keegan’s work is beautiful.
      The New Yorker publishes a lot of short fiction, but I find I prefer 20th century work, or non-American short stories. There’s a cynical tone I don’t always love.

    2. A lot of well known novelists also have short story collections. Jhumpa Lahiri, Curtis Sittenfeld, Amor Towles, Zadie Smith are some I can think of off the top my head.

      1. Those are all great shouts. Curtis Sittenfield’s stories are so intensely uncomfortable, but so good.

        1. Ahh, she is one of my favorite authors. She captures the awkwardness of being human so well.

      1. Exhalation is one of the most beautiful short story collections of all time IMHO.
        Lauren Groff’s new book of short stories is also excellent, but a bit of a gut punch, so be forewarned if you’re already in a dark mood.

    4. You Think It, I’ll Say It by Curtis Sittenfeld

      Table for Two by Amor Towels

      Mr Salary by Sally Rooney

      Five Tuesday in Winter by Lily King

    5. I love short stories too. The Rock Eaters by Brenda Peynado is spectacular collection of stories. I think it’s the best short story collection in English of the last ten years.

      For older stories, if you haven’t read them already, William Trevor is very very good. Looking forward to seeing other people’s recs!

    6. Just dropping a few favorite short story collections:
      Anything is Possible by Elizabeth Strout (the stories are linked but stand on their own)
      Normal Rules Don’t Apply and It’s Not the End of the World by Kate Atkinson
      Also, would a novella be too long? I recently loved Small Things Like These by Claire Keegan, which is probably one third the length of a typical full novel.

    7. Hellions by Julia Elliott and Good Citizens Need Not Fear by Maria Reva are both solid picks for short stories. Good Citizens has a throughline but is structured as a series of stories.
      You might also look at a subscription to The Bitter Southerner. It’s a nice combination of long-form journalism, short stories, poetry and art.

    9. I would always look for editions of the Best American Short Stories series at library sales.

    10. I read almost nothing but short stories these days.

      Recent reads:
      – Go Down Moses by Faulkner
      – any of the Sherlock Holmes stories by Sir Arthur Conan Doyle
      – British Library Crime Classics edited by Martin Edwards
      – Everyman’s Library story collections
      – American Mystery Classics edited by Penzler

    12. I highly recommend The Secret Lives of Church Ladies short story collection by Deesha Philyaw. Excellent as an audiobook as well.

    14. Just this year, Lauren Groff, Louise Erdrich, and Colm Toibin have had short story collections published. I haven’t read those yet, but here are some of my favorites.
      – Recitatif by Toni Morrison (just one story, but I think about it all the time)
      – The Secret Lives of Church Ladies by Deesha Philyaw
      – Jollof Rice and Other Revolutions by Omolola Ijeoma Ogunyemi
      – Afterparties by Anthony Veasna So
      – What It Means When a Man Falls From the Sky by Lesley Nnekah Arimah

      If you want more of a sampling, there’s a yearly anthology of The Best American Short Stories. The guest editor changes every year, so if there’s a fiction author you enjoy on the list of guest editors, you could read the collection from that author’s year.

      LeVar Burton (from Reading Rainbow) had a podcast where he read short stories aloud. The podcast has ended now, but there are over 200 episodes, and they include stories from all over the world, in different genres, and by new authors and some of the most iconic authors.

      There are still magazines that publish individual short stories. I would browse your library’s catalogue, including its digital catalogue, to see what you have access to. If you read any of the anthologies, they’ll tell you where each story was originally published, so after a while, you might find a few publications with a vibe you like enough to support.

      1. +1 to this one, Sittenfeld and Amor Towles.

        Another great collection is Lara Vapnyar’s There are Jews in My House.

        And not fiction, but I am, I am, I am by Maggie O’Farrell (Hamnet) is just fantastic. It’s 17 stories from her life, each recounting a brush with death. So well done.

    16. I just read Ben Shattuck’s The History of Sound and loved it – the stories are paired in surprising, Easter egg-y ways.
      You might also consider reading poetry – I find when my brain is scattered, reading one poem feels like a whole story. I like Billy Collins, Louise Gluck, Wendy Cope. Or also I subscribe to Poetry Daily and they send you a poem every day.

    17. Margaret Atwood – I’ve read Stone Mattress, but she has other collections as well.

    19. There is a “Best Short Stories” collection published annually, so.you could grab some.of those.

    20. Honestly this question is bizarre. Of course there are short stories being published. You can look for anthologies or works all by one author. It’s often the second book ousted by a novelist, bc it’s what they already have written (but usually sell the novel first and the publisher only takes the dive on the stories once there is some name recognition). Rejection is a semi-recent collection that got an interesting review.

  8. I have an over full toiletries closet. Most of it was for guests – I used to have friends and family stay with me several times a year (I’m near a common tourist city). Over the last year, I got cancer and haven’t been hosting (I’m doing ok but need rest). I am purging closets. Some of these products are still “good”/not expired. 99% are open. like my niece used the L’Oréal shampoo and my brother opened a different bottle. I called a local shelter and they do not take opened products. I don’t have social media. Is my best option throwing things away? I can’t use 10 bottles of shampoo before they expire, even as body wash, and can’t use some of these chemicals anyway.

    1. Buy nothing group. I also put a bunch of stuff in a community centre bathroom (perfumes, hair products, nothing that would come into contact with skin) and 80% was gone in an hour.

    2. Put them in a box on your porch and post that they’re available for free on your local buy nothing group. They’ll be gone within an hour and a half.

    3. Agree with others that a Buy Nothing group is the right forum, but at least where I am, those operate on Facebook and you don’t have social media. Do you have a nearby friend who might do the posting for you? I’d happily do that for a pal.

    4. Yes please just trash them. If you have the energy to rinse and recycle great. You had cancer! Life is too short to waste it lovingly rehoming used shampoo

    5. Churches are often happy to take things like this.

      I used to live next to a fire department and they would also accept opened products. Not for distribution, but for the station’s own facilities. Apparently strawberry body wash was popular amongst the firemen.

    6. I have never given a shampoo’s expiration date a second thought — if they’re products you would use, just not for a year or two, by all means just keep them and use them as you get to them. For the rest, you’ve done enough. Trash is fine.

    7. My small town has little free pantries on the street, and these would be welcome there.

    8. Don’t give it opened items. Ask your friends if they want them otherwise throw them away/recycle

    9. If you’re in an apartment building, you could leave stuff in the laundry room. I’ve done that, and the items were gone in a couple of hours.

  9. Has anyone found any fantastic “executive” very low heel or flat shoes this summer? My neuroma is acting up and I just want to invest in good shoes with the right profile for work (mostly ankle length tropical wool pants and dresses with longer skirts, both of which look OK in flat shoes to my eye). I wanted a pair from Me & Em, but they are sold out in my size. What else good is out there now? I’m good on loafers and fashion sneakers at the moment.

    1. I have hammertoes and bad feet in general, never wear any sort of heel, and I just bought a few pairs of low block heels which are actually comfortable.

      This one has executive style: Miz Mooz Gilda Heel. May not be low enough for you though.

      The other one is slightly more trendy: Cole Haan Paxton Mary Jane.

      1. ooh, love the Paxton — and I’ve never seen anything so corporate from Miz Mooz! off to google if they’ve been bought

        1. I honestly planned to return one or both, but I am having a hard time sending either of them back!

    2. I got a pair of Naturalizer Cosmic Mary Janes iin pewter and they have been real workhorses this summer. Note I had to size up a half size.

  10. IDK why I am sad about Daveigh Chase (among other roles, Rhonda Volmer in Big Love, which she was chilling and terrific in) dying. I guess it seems so familiar: an accident, a legitimate Rx for pain meds from a doctor, descent, bad friends. I saw her mom on the news and her story just was so awful — searching for her daughter, seeing in the news that she had died.

    1. I didn’t follow any of her work, but it is really horrible to think about. And it adds to my opinion that child acting, at least in any substantial amounts, should simply be illegal.

      1. Here, though, it could have happened to any of us. How many times did I get an Rx for a week’s worth of pain meds to take as needed? I think once (in my 20s), I took all of them since I was used to how antibiotics worked where you have to finish the bottle. It’s really upsetting in retrospect. I was not a child actor, just someone with a sinus infection that I couldn’t shake that was putting all the pressure on every last part of my face and head.

        1. Sometimes that’s actually correct (to stay ahead of the pain) vs. taking as needed. They should have been clear though!

          They need to do a lot more to identify who is susceptible. It’s not good enough to do big studies and average across people and then find out the hard way later on how different people respond.

  12. I saw yesterday that Jill Smokler, who founded Scary Mommy back in the day, died from glioblastoma. Way too young. Although I don’t read SM much anymore, I give her credit for starting a place to talk about the harder side of motherhood.

    Also, glioblastoma is an awful disease, and I hate it so much. (My mom was diagnosed in late 2025 and is lucky to still be alive.)

    2. i saw that on facebook – it annoyed me that there wasn’t an obit in the NYT. there was such a nice outpouring of memories from fans in the FB page.

    3. Ugh I’m sorry about your mom.

      There has been so much advancement in science and medicine in the past generation, but treatment for some diseases are just still out of reach. I feel that there will be better treatment and cures for neurological disease and cancers, probably in our lifetime. Just not soon enough for our loved ones.

    1. Two separate products. I like to wear SPF 50 on my face, neck, and chest. I don’t think a combo product can provide the same level of protection. And you need a plain moisturizer before bed anyway.

    3. Two separate products. In the summer I sometimes use a serum as that plus sunblock are enough moisture for me.

    4. Slightly moisturizing sunscreen (oily skin here). I like Beauty of Joseon Relief Sun SPF 50 (the Korean kind, not the FDA-approved one).

  14. If you have a sibling living at home with your mom and your mom has fallen and you need to call 911 to get her up, how long would it be before you mentioned that to other siblings? What if it happens twice in a month?

    Everyone is on speaking terms. Mom hasn’t fallen before (that I know about; put a big asterisk there for now).

    1. It depends on whether telling my sibling would help or hurt (add to the guilt, complain about what a terrible job I’m doing, swoop in and cause further issues, embarrass mom).

    2. I’m confused about this. they called 911 to “get her up” in that A. they could not physically get her upright without help or she’d fallen in a way they were worried moving could cause further injury? or B. the fall actually resulted in a serious injury such that she was transported to the hospital for treatment?

      If A, I’d mention it the next time I normally would have talked to my siblings. If B, I’d probably call or text from the hospital that mom broke her hip and is heading into surgery / doesn’t need surgery but will be in a wheelchair for a couple months.

      1. I think it is a vanilla fall, but even that is something where help is needed.

        My GF (80+ and very tall/lanky) was too frail to help my GM (much shorter but about the same weight) up when she fell. Lifting her could have taken both of them out. That was a sign that living at home, just the two of them, was not safe and since there was nowhere to move them to (and they didn’t want to leave and likely couldn’t have afforded it), my mom arranged for at least daytime sitters for many hours (not all, not overnight). It was better than nothing.

        1. I agree with 12:11 Anon – if mom is ok but you couldn’t lift her without help, this is not “call immediately” territory but the next time you talked to your sibling, assuming that’s within a few days or a week from the incident. If it was an actual emergency, that’s same-day call, when the sibling on-hand has a chance in the middle of the logistics of all of it.

          1. I’m new to this territory. I know that there are falls where you have to go to the hospital (hit head and you are on a blood thinner, broken hip, fall down a lot of stairs), but are there really vanilla falls with an older person? Babies fall all the time and they are sort of built for it, top-heavy, and not good at walking because they are new to it. But I think I’d not so casually brush it off if there is a second fall close after a first fall and falling isn’t normal.

          2. There’s no such thing as a minor fall. A single fall doubles the risk of another fall that could be worse, and any decent medical team would want to intervene to see what’s up and whether they can prevent it (whether it’s meds adjustments or PT or whatever is going on).

          3. I mean it’s great if the fall resulted in only minor injuries like a scrape or bruise! But any fall is a concerning symptom, and it’s not great to rely on self-assessment for injuries even if it was a true slipped on a banana peel type of accident.

            People and their families downplay falls a lot, but doctors do want to know, especially if the patient is on any prescription meds (think blood thinners or blood pressure meds for some common ones in older patients).

          4. I’ll agree that there’s no such thing as a minor fall, but also people who are in denial about aging and their abilities will do anything they can to brush off a fall. So there are falls with immediate impacts (needs immediate medical attention, possible broken bones or concussion or something) and there are falls that are warning shots and mean you need to start making plans and changes. Maybe PT will address the issue, maybe you need a lot more home support, but if the older person who fell isn’t going to play ball you’re in for more and more falls until you get a serious immediate impacts fall.

          5. A lot of people will keep a doctor’s appt if loved ones are on their case about it. Should it require that? No, of course not. Is it worth it? In my experience, always so far.

    4. In my own family, I would expect a phone call same day that a sibling called 911 for our parent, even if it’s minor or a non-event. If it’s a non-event, then at least a text like “FYI, wanted to let you know that Mom fell, and I had to call 911 to get assistance and an evaluation. No injuries, but I’ll keep you posted!”

    5. My sibling (late 20s) lives with our dad (in his 60s) on the other side of the country. My dad has fallen several times in the last few years requiring medical care (just stitches, nothing more serious). I only hear about that during my weekly-ish phone calls with my dad. I would not expect my sibling to tell me unless there is something more serious or concerning beyond the dog leash occasionally causing chaos. In fact, I suspect my sibling doesn’t usually find out until after the fact, as they are often at work when these incidents happen.

    6. Within a couple hours max, extending grace/cushion for the sibling on the scene who is dealing with all of it real time, shuffling their own schedule/day to get to the hospital, etc. In my family, though, notice would be pretty immediate – a call or text would be placed while mom was en route to the hospital.

      The one caveat that is bubbling up in my family is that I have a sibling who over dramatizes everything and is unhelpful at all times. So, we’ve been known to delay telling her things until we have answers because she’d show up at the hospital and attempt to “help”, leaning on her knowledge from The Pitt and Greys. So maybe do a split second of self reflection and make sure you’re not not being told because of anything like that.

      1. I think that there is a tendency to minimize, since she refused transportation for the hospital and just sees it as only needing help getting up. And some embarassment that outsiders saw inside a hoarded house. But it’s a new development that is concerning. Is it a nothingburger? I would think you’d know if you had broken something. Mom is 80.

      2. I can think of people I know where a sibling lives at home, but not as a caretaker. Has become a bit of a gatekeeper and probably is actively hiding the situation due to fears of criticism and possible loss of housing due the elder maybe needing to move into a . . . assisted living apartment? nursing home? Somewhere with no stairs and grab bars, at minimum.

    8. Same day notification (or next day if it happens at night). It doesn’t have to be dramatic, but a quick text that it happened and Mom’s okay is appropriate.

    10. In our family that is a same-day text, typically as soon as the parent is at the ER.

    11. I think this is highly dependent on the details of your mom’s situation. My 90-something grandma triggers a whole-family, cross-country APB for the slightest issue because she is quite fragile.

      My 70 YO father has lived his whole life getting scraped up and injured because he has physically demanding, rough hobbies. My adult sister lives with him because that is what works for her finances, but she is not his caretaker. Unless it was seriously traumatic and resulted in some sort of extended rehab, it would be odd to get a call specifically telling me he got patched up at the urgent care after the latest incident.

    12. Does she have emergencies or medical problems frequently, even if you’re unaware of previous 911 calls? If this was one of many incidents I can see why it didn’t seem newsworthy to your sibling. But if this was out of the blue and you don’t have a history of backseat driving with eldercare then your sibling should’ve told you within 24 hours.

    13. Who is responsible for your mom’s health? Is she young/healthy enough to make her own choices about with whom she shares her health info?

      Why aren’t you annoyed at your mom for not sharing?

      1. At my age I don’t honestly know anyone whose parents are still completely on top of their health on their own. If they’re perfectly healthy and then just randomly injure themselves, they seem to struggle with navigating healthcare, insurance, and patient portals. If they have a lot of conditions and are all set up with those things and with med refills and follow up visits and prior authorizations, they’re not always great about mentioning new symptoms to doctors or coordinating with all their different specialists on their own. And a hospital visit may mean needing to accurately report all diagnoses and meds because of inaccurate or partial electronic records. If I stayed out of it I may not know how much they were struggling, but if I pay attention, there’s a lot going wrong. Especially if they’re showing other issues like hoarding that OP mentioned.

        1. Still angry at my sister for talking to my dad and deciding to call 911 and take mom to the hospital and then getting a call about 6 hours later from her that “our mother is still alive” but at the hospital. WTF? Is this not what we have cell phones and unlimited texting for? I was in a cab heading to dinner when she called me (so cool to do that call in front of friends and a cab driver). Was on a plane the next morning but OMG this is not how people should handle things.

          1. I’m so sorry! It’s hard to imagine what experience of the hospital wouldn’t have left her with a minute to text. My family likes to designate one person for communication to funnel through (sometimes in shifts). Then someone feels a sense of responsibility at least till they pass it off. Maybe that’s a large family thing. But it still requires the initial text to go out!

        2. This may depend. I’m 43, my dad is 69. He is entirely in control of his own healthcare and I don’t expect updates on him. If he fell and his partner called 911 but he wasn’t admitted, I’d probably find out eventually but not same-day. If he had a stroke, I’d get a same day text. I’m not his healthcare proxy and I don’t live locally. I do care about him but this stuff isn’t really my business.

          This would all be very different if you and your sister are co-managing your mom’s health which is why I asked.

          1. Very similar here.

            For younger, able-bodied, mentally sharp parents, I only expect in-the-moment notifications in truly emergent situations (like a car accident involving critical injuries). I would not expect an immediate alert that dad tripped over the cat and scraped his forehead on the banister as he fell but is otherwise fine. I would also not expect a notification that my obese MIL couldn’t get herself out of the tub without 911 sending someone to provide lift assistance simply b/c she is obese.

            I do think the bar for notification lowers as the parent becomes older and less able to handle their own care.

          3. it’s amazing to me that the health of your parents is not your business… different families I guess.

            Or you are just staggeringly lucky, as is your father.

        3. My 80 year old mother and 83 year old father in law both handle their own healthcare completely independently and shocker, are also competent with paperwork and navigating the system. The infantalizing of the elderly here astounds me.

          1. Retirement age isn’t just for fun; it’s when a lot of people’s capacities start to slip. It is great that your mother and FIL are doing better than that!

            It’s been surprising to me to see some of the most adult, worldly wise, responsible, reliable people I know make mistakes that seem basic to me when it comes to healthcare. I know part of it is that the hospital experience never really went back to normal post-pandemic in a lot of places.

            OP talked about hoarding, so all is not well at baseline.

            I will say though that ageism and ableism in healthcare can be a huge obstacle even to people who are sharp and capable. Quality of healthcare varies a lot locally, but sometimes to get the best possible care, it still helps to have an advocate.

  15. Where I live, it is 90 degrees with lots of humidity, and basically has been for months, so I’ve forgotten how to dress in non-sticky hot weather. next week traveling to Disneyland where the high is mid 70s and sunny and the low is in the 60s. Will we be cold in shorts?

    1. I don’t like wearing shorts in situations where my skin might stick to seats. Personally, I would opt for long pants and short sleeves in that weather, probably with a removable long sleeve top layer.

    2. It gets cold at night in So Cal (also early morning). I am too cold in shorts when it’s in the 60s. YMMV.

    3. I also don’t like shorts for theme parks. I’d probably wear linen pants and a t-shirt. I wouldn’t need a top layer but I’m always hot (thanks perimenopause).

    4. You will get chilly in the early morning/late evening in shorts because there is no humidity. I’d wear lightweight long pants, short sleeves, and a light long-sleeved layer.

    5. This is like October weather for me, though I’d wear jeans then given the sun isn’t as strong that time of year. I’d wear linen pants, a breathable tee, and have a long-sleeved tee or light sweatshirt for mornings and evenings.

    6. thanks all. I was asking more for the elementary-aged kids. Will they be ok in short-sleeve dresses? or tshirt/skort? perhaps also with a sweatshirt?

      1. If they’re wearing dresses, put full-length leggings underneath and a sweatshirt over.

      2. when is it that type of weather where you live, and what do your kids wear then? I would be cold in a lightweight dress in the 60s and in any event would want to be in pants for ease of clambering around, not having a dress to deal with around ride harnesses, etc.

        1. honestly, it is hot and humid where we live like 90% of the time. they were totally fine in dresses in disneyworld and wear dresses to the playground so i’m not concerned from the clambering around standpoint.

          1. oh ok. so, think “mild fall day” – like if girls are wearing dresses they have full length leggings underneath, and a sweatshirt or fleece on, at least in the morning when it’s coolest.

      3. Kids will be fine – they are far more flexible with temperature than adults (see: tweens/teens wearing shorts in winter all over New England). A light windbreaker or sweatshirt may make you feel better, but I can guarantee that they won’t care!

      4. My elementary age daughter would wear a t-shirt and skort in that weather, with a sweatshirt possibly, depending on the temperature when we set out. We probably wouldn’t take it if the temp when we left the room was above 65. (However we may have more tolerance for cold than most – we’re currently in Maine and the high today is 58. If you’re from a hot place you may need more layers.)
        Keep in mind the daily low temperature happens around 5 am, so unless you’re heading out super early, it’ll probably be at least five degrees above the daily low. SoCal warms up quickly once the sun comes out.

    7. 60 degrees at DL is cold. If you are fine biting commemorative sweatshirts, great! Otherwise, I would definitely bring an extra layer for when the sun goes down.

        1. I am from SoCal and still always bring a light jacket for the evening, even though I never ever need it here in the SEUS.

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