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Updated: Oct 31, 2018 125 Comments · by

Tuesday’s TPS Report: ‘Erin’ Cotton Poplin Shirt

The Personal Shopper (TPS)

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Agnes B. 'Erin' Cotton Poplin ShirtOur daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. I love the colors on this cotton poplin blouse from Agnes B — and I like the fact that it looks and feels very different than a lot of what's out there right now. It isn't drapey, it isn't floral, it doesn't have cutouts or a crop (hallelujah!). Lovely. It's $225 at Agnes B. Agnes B. ‘Erin' Cotton Poplin Shirt A couple of lower-priced options are here and here; two plus-size alternatives are here and here. Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-4) Update: What the… why is the “submit button” gone from comments? Update 2: Fixed it. I guess when it rains, it pours? THANK YOU GUYS FOR YOUR PATIENCE!!! 

Sales of note for 9.10.24

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Comments

  1. AIMS

    Hmmm… 10:22 and not one comment? Are we all stuck in moderation?
    In any event, this shirt is certainly different but I don’t know that I like it. It feels a little too vintage.

    • InfoGeek

      Hmmm… 10:22 and not one comment? Are we all stuck in moderation?
      In any event, this shirt is certainly different but I don’t know that I like it. It feels a little too vintage.

    • LilyS

      I like the shape, but the pattern is bringing back horrific memories of my high school uniform.

    • Carrie...

      I immediately thought…. high school.

      I don’t find this fashionable … neither the style or the colors. 80’s stay away…

      And it is somewhat reminiscent of the “puffy shirt”.

    • la vie en bleu

      I like it, I think it would look cute under a suit. Plus: Sleeves!!!! real actual sleeves.

      • NYNY

        Yeah, but puffy sleeves will feel bunchy under a jacket. This baby wants to fly solo.

        Between the high neck and puffy sleeves, I would look like a cereal box in football pads. Not my most flattering option.

      • LilyS

        On second thoughts… is this a tribute to Gilbert in the form of Anne’s longed-for puffed sleeves?

        • Brit

          Her puffed sleeves were much better!

          But also, Jonathan Crombie…. :-( I’m in the depths of despair…

        • la vie en bleu

          omg don’t make me cry. Seriously, I still can’t even accept this, I am so crushed. :o(

  2. Mpls

    FWIW, the “post comment” button is showing up on my mobile, but not computer (Chrome browser).

    And this shirt makes think shirtwaist. It’s a nice shirtwaist.

  3. Gray29

    Sorry for the immediate threadjack but am very interested in getting advice from the hive. We are moving and finally buying a washer and gas dryer. I am totally overwhelmed by all of the different options and cannot figure out what is worth paying for and what is not. Are the high efficiency machines worth the extra money? Side loaders? Do people have favorite brands and models? We are willing to pay a good amount of money but want to be very happy with the machines and have them last a long time. Thank you in advance for any recommendations!!

    • Carrie...

      I will let others suggest specific brands, but I strongly recommend using a side loader instead of a top loader. Your clothes will last much longer. They are more expensive, but a great investment if you are able to pay.

      This website is helpful.

      http://www.consumersearch.com/washing-machine-reviews

      I only dry towels and sheets, and hang up all clothing to dry, but I would not recommend getting the “all-in-one” units that are washers and dryers in the same machine. The drying capabilities are very poor.

    • Shayla

      I think HE is worth it, but will never buy a front loader washer again. They’re s*xy and all, but the mold around the rubber seal in the door is just a constant battle (& I’m not alone). I also miss the agitator. As far as brand and models, I always use Consumer Reports to buy appliances (because I am my father’s daughter).

      • Carrie...

        Oh yes, you have to be careful about the seal/mold issue. But I have never had a problem as long as I keep the door slightly open after use for drying and am careful to air dry other access points. I also use bleach for my whites at least every couple months, so maybe that helps.

        The agitator on top loaders has damaged too many items of clothing for me. But I am someone who washes all clothing items on the delicate cycle, and tries to minimize dry cleaning etc.. So depends on your needs.

        • Rogue Banker

          I love my mom’s trick for the front-loader issue. When she leaves the door open, it swings all the way out and hits whoever’s walking by in the hip – not a good thing when one has big dogs. So what she did was get some Velcro strips, and attach them to the door and the body of the washer so that she can hook the strips up and have it only open about 4 inches, and just hang there. Doesn’t get hooked on legs or dogs, and it’s open enough to let it dry out. :)

          • rosie

            My model has a little magnet or something that holds the door closed without being latched, so there is still air flow. It’s an LG.

        • 2 Cents

          I left my washer door open every time I washed something — but I still had mildew issues. It usually took an hour of deep cleaning all the seals/crevices with vinegar, plus a couple of washes, to get the tub smelling good again. I’d loved my washer/dryer, but would go back to a top-load washer because I don’t like the upkeep of the front-loader.

          • Rust

            My parents have a top loading washer without an agitator — the inside looks like a front loader. Best of both worlds!

    • mascot

      We have an electric Samsung set. We have a steam dryer and it’s awesome for “ironing.” The washer is front loading HE and also has steam (although I don’t know that it helps that much). I’d probably go back to a top loader w/o agitator because of the mildew issues in the front loader.

      • waffles

        We used to have a Samsung front-load and I loved it. When it died, we bought a Blomberg as it was well-rated for quality. The problem with the Blomberg is that EVERYTHING comes out of the dryer horribly wrinkled, even on the no-wrinkle mode. I really appreciate the great job our Samsung did now…
        We have never had any trouble with mildew, on either the Samsung or the Blomberg.

    • InfoGeek

      We have LG front-loading machines. The washer is HE. Be sure and use HE detergent if you get an HE washer. Non-HE detergent foams too much.

      I keep an old kitchen towel by the washer and use it to wipe the seal and the detergent drawer after we run the washer. We also leave the washer door open when it’s not in use.

      We’ve had no problems with mold on the seal.

      • Senior Attorney

        I have the LG set, too, and have no problem at all with mold. Although granted, I’m in So Cal where the humidity is very low so maybe that’s a factor. I love my front-loader and wouldn’t go back.

    • EB

      Top loader with no agitator FTW! Best washer ever with all the gentleness benefits of a front load but the ease of use and longevity of a top load.

      • Anonymous

        Exactly! An HE washer that is top-loading, no-agitator is the best of all worlds.

    • anon a mouse

      We are considering this as well, since our 15-y-o washer is on its last legs.. Can’t comment on dryers, but when I asked the repair guy about replacing a washer, he said to look for a top loader with minimal computer parts. He said the bulk of his business is replacing computer parts that go bad on front-loaders within 2-3 years of purchase.

      • SuziStockbroker

        I agree with this. I just bought a new washer, with dials, because I don’t want the electronic controls.

        It seems like washers and dryers are more “disposible” than they were 10 years ago.

        Certainly I am regretting my decision 2 years ago to buy a stove with electonic function buttons. Already some of the burners have controls that aren’t working optimally.

      • Gray29

        Thank you to everyone! You have all given me very helpful information to consider and I have a feeling that thesweethome.com is going to prove to be a very useful website for me! Thanks again!

    • Hollis

      I love our washer/dryer. We have side-loading HE machine and have not had the mildew problem – we just keep the door open for awhile after each wash. Our clothes last longer. The only downside is that we use the “Eco-wash” function, which washes in cooler water for a longer period of time, but each cycle takes a long time (about an hour and thirty to wash, and another hour and thirty to dry). Ours is Bosch but my parents have an LG with the same features and they love it. Costco delivers for free, but some of your local electronic stores may deliver and install for free as well.

    • Basics

      We have the low end of the line models from Sears. Purchased from Sears in 1994 and still going to strong. No issues with anything, including the way our clothes come out or wear.

  4. AMB

    I’m looking for summer dresses to wear to a conference this summer – ideally sleeveless as they will go under blazers. I’m a 12/14, prefer a structured sheath with a sufficient neckline to cover the ladies. Black/white/grey with any colour other than cobalt (as I already have all the cobalt dresses). Ideas of where to go?

    • AIMS

      Talbots? I think they are having a friends and family sale starting Thursday so everything will be an extra 30% off.

    • Emily

      I’m such a BR girl for this at the 12/14 size. jcrew just doesn’t allow for the corresponding ladies, and AT puts too much elastic into the sheaths or cheaps out on the material so it looks pretty in pictures online, but in person you just end up looking schlumpy.

      I did get the Limited sheaths in the suit collection and they look nice, but I’ve only had them for a few months and not the 3-4 years of my BR stuff.

      • Ginjury

        Normally I’d agree that BR is the place to go for work appropriate dresses, but they have been seriously lacking this year. They’re trying to be way too trendy and I doubt you’d find much that you could actually wear to a conference or with a blazer.

        • AMB

          Will definitely try Talbots and my city just got a Nordstrom so I will finally get to test out the personal shopping service! Have not been impressed with BR either and I looked online at Gap last night – all the dresses looked like they were made for extras from a dystopian YA movie.

    • BeenThatGuy

      Try Boden. I must have 15 Boden dresses (also size 12) and I am never dissapointed.

      • lsw

        I have never ordered Boden. I am also a size 12 who also doesn’t like to show off the gals too much…do you typically order a 12 in Boden? I’m 5’10”, hourglass shape, size 12 in J Crew, BR, etc. Their sizing confuses me and the site tells me to order a 10 and then I just chicken out and don’t get anything.

  5. prof advice

    Does anyone advice for a co-worker taking credit for all the work? I’m having this problem with a junior member, whom I work with closely. When our director gives her work, the jr member comes to me and asks me question after question, so I basically end up doing it. As a result, she’s even been promoted for doing quality work above her level. But it’s me that’s doing the work and I can’t think of a professional way to tell her to either do the work herself or acknowledge that I did it. Likewise, I can’t think of a way to bring this up with my director. I’ve started pulling back – not helping her as much, but she’s very sensitive and it’s been straining our team dynamic in that she doesn’t feel supported (her words) and has been making things at work just overall very tense. Any advice?

    • hmmmm....

      Sounds like you are giving her guidance/advice/mentoring/teaching, but isn’t she still doing the work? Maybe I don’t have a clear picture about what you are talking about.

      Are you more worried because she is taking credit for your “ideas”? Or are you actually spending hours physically doing her work?

      • prof advice

        It’s both – I’m spending extra hours helping her do research (and really – how does anyone “help with research” other than by doing the research yourself?) and basically walk her through step by step (like she’ll write down what I say word for word and then asks me to expand on it – so she’s not doing any of it herself).

        • CountC

          Stop doing her work. As someone else mentioned, tell her to come to you with a draft. If she says she doesn’t even know where to start, tell her to use XYZ project as a baseline. This may be unpopular, but if you’ve been assisting her on everything, it’s time to for her sink or swim a little bit. I can think of three things that may be going on. She may be completely obtuse and doesn’t understand how to apply what you have been teaching her, you actually aren’t teaching her because you are doing her work for her, or she just doesn’t really care to do the work herself and has found someone who will do it for her. If she has taken word-for-word notes on what you have told her to do previously, I am not sure why she can’t use that as a guideline moving forward.

    • (Former) Clueless Summer

      The next time, suggest you are busy and ask her to come to you with a completed first draft that you can review and provide one set of comments on. If you want to be kind, suggest she can handle this now given her excellent work product. I don’t know that this solves the attribution problem, but it certainly saves you some time. Is it part of your company culture to acknowledge contributions to work product? Do you acknowledge her contributions when she helps you on projects?

    • AIMS

      Are these questions that she could easily look up herself or questions where your guidance is reasonably necessary? If it’s the former, I would just ask her to look it up and come back if she has substantive questions.

    • ss

      It is entirely reasonable to set aside an hour a week (or whatever seems reasonable) for coaching your junior and ask her to limit her questions to that slot, since you have your own work to do. This trains her to take her own crack at the task at hand before running for help and to prioritise limited resources (your time), and it makes your contribution to her training more tangible, whereas it sounds like your current contribution is not being acknowledged by your manager or by the junior. It also provides an opportunity for a specific rebuttal in case there are comments about failing to be a team player, share knowledge, show leadership etc.

      Also there will be times when the junior benefits from taking on a stretch assignment or conversely, when excessive reliance on external support limits her development, and you should not be nervous of saying so to her.

    • Coach Laura

      Does your Director know how much you are mentoring/training/coaching the junior employee and is it part of both your job description and your performance review?

    • August

      Few years back, a new person joined the team. Though I was officially her mentor and I was spending time coaching her, she would never give the credit to me. I was working in a very specialized area which others in the team had no clue. So I made a proposal to my manager that I will coach all of my team members because it was very important for every one to be able to do what I was doing for two reasons. First, people will be empowered to do their jobs better as I will be no longer the only one who could that specialized work and hence I will no longer be the bottleneck. Second, as I am mentoring a new person already, it will not be too much extra effort for me to mentor others. The other team members can discuss among themselves sometimes and can review each others work and they get company while learning this new thing. My manager was so pleased to hear this and he approved me to do this work. It went on my performance review as a leadership quality with lots of appreciation and pay rise !!!!

    • Bethany

      Is your mentoring relationship official? If so, can you ask her to start acknowledging your projects as “collaborations”?

      If the relationship is unofficial, you could disclose the amount of mentoring you are doing to your director (x hours per week), note that this is taking substantial amounts of your time with no return, and ask for their recommendation on whether you should pull back or whether they want to change your official relationship to the junior so that you are getting shared credit for the work.

      Or, if the relationship is unofficial, you could just… stop doing it. Tell her honestly that you have your own projects, that you think this detailed level of advising is hindering her independent development, and that you are going to restrict your relationship to (1 hr a week, just colleagues, whatever you want). Her unprofessional behavior (making it about her “feelings”) is not your responsibility.

  6. Asideralis

    Fellow DC hive members! Is there a local group to meet fellow ladies in the hive? Or is there a specific Meetup group that you’d recommend?

    I’d like to make some new friends in the area and have settled in since I moved here in December. I’m in the tech industry, but would love to make friends outside of my general area of expertise. I enjoy salsa dancing, clubbing, coffee, hiking, and rock climbing.

    I actually didn’t have the “Post Comment” button for quite some time! And I think this shirt is hideous.

    • Asideralis

      Okay, ladies! Since my google-jitsu skills have shown that there hasn’t been a DC meetup since November 2014, I’ve created an email to organize this:

      asideralis@gmail.com

      I’m thinking a Friday in May. (Not the 15th, I’m out of town). There’s a lovely bar called Russia House in Dupont Circle with excellent martinis just off the red line. If you have other suggestions, please email me!

  7. Anon

    I’m looking for wedge sandals or peeptoe wedge heels, preferably in camel or beige, to wear to a outdoor wedding. Anyone have any advice for pairs taht are NOT nine west? (Don’t mind the styling, but find them uncomfortable and they don’t last long.)

  8. sweetknee

    Any in house counsel or risk management folks involved with hospitals or other free standing healthcare centers in the hive ? I would love an opportunity to pick your brain over e mail. Please send e mail to southerncorpor3tt3 at the google mail ( replace 3s with e). Thanks in advance.

  9. Pretty Primadonna

    This looks like something I would like, but I don’t care for the combination of colors.

  10. Dora

    Any recommendations for sheer nylons that hold up to some wear? My office is too cold for bare legs in the summer, but I struggle with finding nylons that (A) don’t look too tan/thick/obvious and (B) can withstand more than two or three wears. I spend around $20 a pair, and I feel like I’m throwing money away. I have tried a number of brands (Spanx, Victoria’s Secret, Hanes…), but even the ones advertised to be run-resistant tend to snag quickly.

    Any brand preferences would be greatly appreciated!

    • (Former) Clueless Summer

      I feel like they all run, really, unless you are 100% careful in dealing with them. I therefore take the approach of buying the cheapest nylons I can find that still look decent.

    • LilyS

      Marks and Spencers. I usually get over 10 wears from them (though I did manage to put my thumb through a pair on their first wear at one point last year).

    • Killer Kitten Heels

      I’ve had better-than-average luck with Via Spiga, which I usually pick up at Marshall’s or TJMaxx for $5 or $6 per pair.

    • Anon in NYC

      If you’re willing to spend more money, I love Wolford and I found that I can go to about 10 denier and get multiple wears out of them. They are very light and sheer, but hold up well. They are expensive, but Wolford occasionally runs sales and you might be able to find them on other sites with a coupon code.

    • MJ

      I get all my nylons at One Hanes Place, which is Hanes’ overstock website. You can buy in bulk and get Silk Reflections down to ~$3/pair, which is way cheaper than dept stores. Their Ultra Sheers tend to run more easily.

      If you are unsure on color, I’d go to a dept store to try.

      If you want to spend more, I have good results with Calvin Klein nylons, but they cost way more.

    • Coach Laura

      Talbots last for me – better than Hue or Hanes. Talbots also has a color “pale” that is not orange-toned. I also size up, as I realized a lot of my runs were from pulling up during the day and I have to be really careful with my pedicure because a lot of the brands don’t have reinforced toes.

    • In the Pink

      I find the italian brands seem to take the wear and tear of my running an office and providing professional services to my patient…both roles in one gal.

      I get them in the mail via Shapings dot com out of Toronto.

      I wear the “aurora 15” style by Filodoro during the work days … and then I’ve been using the “Top 7” style by Sylvia Grandi for evenings out … they are very sheer and delicate but still are good, both the sheer toe (yes it still exists) as well as a sandal toe (as in a flip flop style of sandal), and a fully hidden toeless that I wear with peep toes as well).

      Been her loyal customer since before 2000 if memory serves me right.

    • Anon

      JC Penney or the cheapo L’eggs or Hanes nylons. Buy them 1 size larger than the chart says. I have JC Penney nylons that I’ve had for a decade, though I don’t wear them that frequently. You could also buy Vera Wang at Kohls. All of the nicer ones I’ve bought have gone to the hole graveyard.

    • Susan

      Surprisingly enough, I’ve had really excellent luck with the Hanes Ultra Sheer that they sell at Target. They’re comfortable and even with a hole, they don’t run. Depending on your skin tone, you may not find a match that you like, but I’m pretty pale and am really happy with the sheerness/coverage. Plus, they’re super cheap.

    • SFAttorney

      Calvin Klein. There are different levels of sheerness so be sure to get the more sheer.

  11. CHS

    This is for the person looking for Charleston recs yesterday – I couldn’t get my comment to post correctly. There are a million things to do and all will be amazing, but here are a few things:
    Husk – bar is amazing, can go upstairs and get burgers, and of course the main restaurant can’t be beat.
    Cru Cafe – lunch.
    McCrady’s – the original Brock restaurant, still outstanding, and the most gorgeous space.
    Gin Joint – drinks.
    Two Boroughs Larder – breakfast.
    Hominy Grill – breakfast or lunch. Charleston Nasty Biscuit, buttermilk pie, everything else.
    The Ordinary – seafood, extraordinary.
    A few things to do: downtown carriage ride (cheesy but fun); ghost tour of Old Jail (especially entertaining after a few cocktails); sunrise, sunset or midnight stroll of the Battery and surrounding neighborhood; poke your head into the Huguenot Church; take a Charleston Cooks! class; stroll around any of the various neighborhoods. If you have a car Middleton Place is gorgeous (stop at Glass Onion for po boys), Wadmalaw Island for Charleston Tea Plantation and the Angel Oak, Bowen’s Island to watch dolphins and eat oysters, Folly for beach time, and on and on and on.

    • emily

      Also on Wadmalaw Island is the Firefly vodka distillery with a pretty fun tasting room.

    • A Nonny Moose

      Had one of the best meals of my life at Penninsula Grill. Service was impeccable, food was amazing. Highly recommend snagging a seat on the patio if available and the weathers good– it’s a side courtyard with beautiful lighting. So romantic.

      Swing into JL King St boutique if you’re interested in shopping. I could have spent hours there (a whole wall of vintage chanel suits…) and even DH got drawn in for a while.

  12. Anonymous

    My mother has asked for style recommendations and I’m at a loss because we have pretty different styles/clothing needs.

    Her background: She is late 50s, 6’2″ (finding clothes that are long enough is easily her biggest challenge), size ranges from a 12-16 and probably closer to a 16 right now, pear shaped, price range is maybe $50-$150 for a dress. She wears scrubs to work and lives in jeans and plain Ts for running around, but would like some ideas for when she needs to dress up for fancy dinners, weddings, a night at the theater, etc. She doesn’t like Land’s End dresses, which was my first thought, and sadly no Nordstrom in her city to try a personal shopper. She feels silly in a lot of prints or flares with her height, which limits options. I know it causes her so much anxiety to have to find a dress and I’d really like to point her to some stores or style blogs that could make these events fun and not stressful!

    • Fishie

      I’ve been criticized for the negative environmental impact of this, but I don’t have a Nordstrom either, so if I need something particular I will order a bunch of things and return what I don’t like. I like being able to try on at home, with stuff I have. Might not be appropriate for a major wardrobe overhaul, but perhaps if she just needs one thing.

      She might also try Stitchfix. I stopped as I live in a small town and started seeing my stuff on other people and I did not think the quality of some of the pieces was comparable to the price, but it did help to open up my style a bit.

      • Ella

        I am very tall (although not quite 6’2″) and very much DO NOT recommend stitchfix. I tried it for a couple months and nothing fit me. Everything they sent was way too short. The problem persisted despite the fact that I gave repeated feedback about the length of the items.

        I recommend online shopping from places that allow for free returns like nordstroms and boden. Jcrew also has a decent online selection of tall stuff. Shipping is free over $150 and I just return what doesn’t fit at the store since I live near one.

        I would also encourage your mom to find a good tailor. Since I am a non-typical size, I get a ton of stuff tailored, sleeves and hems let out, buy up a size or two in a dress so i can get the length and then take in the sides, etc. I would gladly pay someone to tailor a garment that’s “close enough” to make it what I want rather than spending extra hours searching for an item that is perfect off the rack. I find shopping to be such a less stressful experience now that I’ve adopted that mindset.

        • mintberrycrunch

          +1. No to stitchfix. I wanted to love it, but I am a tall 12-14 and nothing ever fit right (their largest size was usually a little too small on me, and everything was way too short).

          Boden is my go-to for long-enough dresses that are also cute. J. Crew and Limited have some good options these days too. Also, a lot of Talbot dresses are long enough even though they aren’t “tall”

    • marketingchic

      I would also try Boden. Their dresses come in tall, and their tall lengths are some of the longest I’ve seen. (Pants, not so much, but for a knee length dress . . . . )

    • MJ

      I’m not 6’2″ (5’11”), but I have longer legs than my 6’5″ brother, so…I’ll bite.

      My best bet for dresses is Boden and JCrew. If she’s long-waisted, JCrew will likely be better than Boden. I don’t particularly like LE dresses either…they don’t work well.

      LongTallSally carries a wide variety quality-wise (they LOVE polyester/nylon IMHO) and so if she doesn’t like the first few pieces she orders, I encourage her to keep ordering.

      Also, midi-skirts are really in this year, so I encourage her to check out dresses that are designed as midi for “typical” height women, as those tend to fall well on us.

      Talbots also has dresses in this size range and would be a good bet, although I sometimes find their dresses too short.

      Last, she might want to hit up Eshakti–they will lengthen and design her perfect dress. Dessy (online) is also a good resource. Hope this helps!

  13. Simsi

    I’m looking into a securities litigation position but only have commercial litigation experience (3rd yr). Do any of you practitioners have suggests re: how to relate to securities work with having only done typical unfair competition type cases? Any particular skills that make securities litigators successful (compared to generic litigators)? Any other comments about what to prep for are appreciated! TIA

    • Anon

      Try to get familiar with the ’34 Act somehow – maybe pick up a “in a nutshell” or a “examples and explanations” kind of book, or do an online CLE. If you find it painful to do, it may be telling you that this area may not be for you. I did securities litigation for 3 years and I did not enjoy it at all, as it was all about financial reporting and circumstantial evidence and lots of really boring doc review.

      • anon

        +1. I did it for 2 years before switching to a different litigation area. Second the “circumstantial evidence and lots of really boring doc review.” I think it may possibly be the most boring area of law ever.

  14. HF

    TJ-if you are in the process of hiring, do you actually look at social media pages? What kinds of things would give you pause?

    • CountC

      I am not in hiring, but everyone I know that is in hiring absolutely does a Google search to see what they can pick-up on social media. They don’t actively try to “stalk” the person, but they will look to see what the candidate has allowed to be public. It’s why I have a Google alert set for all variations of my name and try my best to keep everything locked down even when I am not interviewing.

        • CountC

          Yep! I set a Google alert for each of my names (nick name, legal name) and have it email me once a week or whatever. Then based on what pops up, I adjust my social media privacy settings accordingly. I aim to set them to be as strict as possible, but every once in a while the privacy settings change and I have to play catch up. I also do not let anyone post any pictures or tag me in anything to my FB wall without my approval and I make sure that I am only posting things that are visible to my friends. I also set my Facebook to be unsearchable to anyone other than friends and perhaps friends of friends (?) and use my middle name instead of my first name on FB registration. Twitter, Intagram, etc., are all set to private.

    • anon

      Yes. I am wondering how the law student who writes tinderinbrooklyn.com (funny but extremely crass) is ever going to get a law job.

      • Anonymous

        I were in a hiring position I would totally hire Tinder in Brooklyn girl if she was qualified. I enjoy people who have personalities.

    • Jen

      I do. I check out LinkedIn to see how they represent their profile vs their resume; a huge turn-off is if either one is drastically different/inflated than the other. I check Facebook mostly because I’m a creeper, but I can’t say that anything specifically would be a deal breaker – certainly not a photo of you with a glass of wine or the like. Heck, I wouldn’t even care if your FB photo had you in a bathing suit riding an elephant. Might make me like you more. I’m a real person so it’s nice to know that you are as well.

      For what it’s worth, I don’t hire entry level or immediately post-degree; i’m looking at mid career people and in a non-law setting (though I’ve hired JDs before…but for compliance type work vs council)

  15. Opinions on high end panty hose?

    Possibly related to question above- are more expensive hose (wolford, commando) worth the price? I wear hose very seldom so I think I could splurge for a really nice pair. Are these more for people with beautiful legs anyway though ? I would like a little coverage of some spider veins and a scar – are costly low denier hose (10?) going to look good and have coverage, or are they best for highlighting already beautiful legs?

    • BB

      My experience: Wolford hose feel AMAZING, like totally different from Hanes type stuff. Unfortunately, I tried 2 pairs and they both had runs within the first 10 minutes of me wearing them (as in, I bought one, got a run, returned it, got another pair, second pair also immediately got a run), so I gave up. I think this is an aberrant, however, as most people seem to get quite a bit of wear out of them. But they are not foolproof as some people seem to claim.

    • Anon in NYC

      I commented above, but I do love Wolford and I think they are worth the price. I do not have perfect legs by any stretch of the imagination, and I find that the 10 denier gives just enough coverage to smooth everything out but does not really conceal imperfections.

  16. To Kat Griffin

    Kat,

    Can you remove the “says” from people’s names in posts? It’s really distracting and doesn’t help me scan the comments to say, week out Ellen. Thanks!

    • Kat G

      I’ll try to have the tech team get to it soon. We’re dealing with a lot of other tech issues right now though. Thank you for your patience!

  17. Anonymous

    Are white pants in a business casual office acceptable? Or are they too casual?

    • houston, we have a problem

      I think that it depends on the fit & fabric. skinnies are too casual, as are denim. wider leg or boot cut may not be, if wool or flannel or crepe or ponte probably okay.

  18. To Kat Griffin

    Kat,

    Can you please have the Tech team remove the “says” from each commenter’s handle? It’s distracting and doesn’t add much.

    I do like the “Speak Your Mind” though :) Empowering!

    Thanks,
    MJ

  19. Paging Saoirse says

    I read your story about the review on yesterday’s splurge & was wondering how it turned out for you?

  20. shadow

    I will be going to San Diego in a few weeks and staying near the convention center…

    Any recommendations for cheap/free things to do, yummy places to eat?

    It’ll be a pretty big group (5-6 of us) plus a little toddler about 13 months. Thanks in advance~

  21. anonymous

    I recently started my first job out of grad school. I’m supposed to take a 3 month long training class that no one says is useful beginning in October- I have 2 years to complete this training, so I can take any session in that period. I’m moving to a different employer at the end of the year (no one knows that here, this was just a stopgap measure), where I’ll be performing more or less the exact same job, and I collaborate with a lot of people from the new place in my current role. When I start that job, I’ll have to do a very similar mandatory training. I’ve heard very good things about the training at the new place, and it’s where I expect to build my career, at least for a while. I want to avoid taking both of these trainings so I spend most of my time doing substantive work. After the October training at my current place, there’s another one scheduled to start in March of next year, which I’d prefer to “sign up for,” because I’ll be gone from here by then and therefore won’t have to do it.
    So I need a reason why I don’t want to just get it out of the way in October. Naturally I don’t want to just say it’s because I’m planning to leave soon. The only excuse I can think of is that training means no travelling, no time off of any description between October and end of January, and I’m supposed to be getting married and going on my honeymoon. Nothing’s actually planned yet, and I feel really foolish using this as an excuse. Help?

    • Coach Laura

      Can you say you’d rather wait to complete the training when you know more about the current job/field/employer so that the training will make more sense? Otherwise, I think using the upcoming wedding and the need for flexibility is a perfectly good reason to postpone training.

  22. kids at wedding Q

    My fiancé and I sent out wedding invitations. We invited kids, but only kids we knew (mostly family and our goddaughters), and the kids’ names were included on the invitation. I did not invite all the kids of all my friends. Someone contacted us to ask “are kids allowed? what’s the cut off age for kids?” This person’s kids were not invited. What is a clear but polite response? I want to say something like “We only invited a few children, mostly family, and the children who were invited were listed on their family’s invitation. We did not invite your children” but that wording sounds a little harsh to me, especially the last sentence. Is there a better way to answer, clearly communicating the same info?

    • anon

      I agree that sounds a bit harsh. How about, “We decided not to invite children to our wedding except for a few close family members” and just leave it at that.

    • ace

      It sounds like they’re non-family? I’d just say “We’re limited on space and can only include kids related to us, so we’re so sorry that Little Cindy and Bobby Jr. can’t join us.”

    • LilyS

      “I’m sure you understand that we have limited space for guests, and we’d like to stay away from guests other than those named on the invitations” maybe?

    • Jen

      I’m not sure. I’m kind of stuck on the opposite side of this question- we are invited to a wedding that I am fairly sure is kid-friendly (lots of young kids in the bride’s family and extended family, generally a family friendly event in location and time etc). We will go either way, but if our daughter were invited/allowed, we’d bring her as this is the wedding of kids of family friends who have not met our (2 year old) daughter. I want to ask, but make it VERY clear that i’m totally cool to make this a kid-free event, but don’t want to show up sans kid and get all kinds of “WHERE IS THE BABY?! WE WERE DYING TO MEET HER!!!”

      What would be the right way to ask you, as a bride, while giving you the freedom to tell me whether or not you want me to bring the kiddo?

      • Jen

        I should add that the invite was to my husband and myself only, but this isn’t a super formal couple and it wouldn’t surprise me if they just assumed we’d bring the kid. We have been to several weddings since having our daughter and had the bride and groom say “where is [daughter]? we thought for sure you’d bring her!” In all cases it was just myself and husband on the invite.

        • kids at wedding Q

          I’m not sure how you’d ask that. I think the only way the question isn’t going to be awkward is if they did intend to include your daughter. You asking would give them the opportunity to clarify.

          On the other hand, if they didn’t intend to include your daughter, and that’s why they didn’t list her on the invitation, your question has the potential to come across as you pressuring them to extend the invitation to your daughter when they deliberately didn’t include her in the first place.

          Maybe contact them and say that you and your husband will be there, (assuming you’re definitely going to go no matter what), you’re looking forward to it, and you were unclear whether your daughter was invited or if invitation was just to you and husband. If they didn’t intend to include daughter, they can say “invitation was just for you and husband,” repeating your words back to you. Phrasing your question in such a way that they can answer it without actually using the word “no” or explicitly saying “daughter isn’t invited” might make it a little less awkward.

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