This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.
Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
How pretty is the abstract print on this Natori skirt? This blue-and-white number could be paired with a camel blazer for a great business casual look or, if you’re feeling particularly bold, a bright pink or yellow top. It would also transition nicely to a weekend look by swapping in sandals and a white tank.
The skirt is $275 at Nordstrom and comes in sizes 0–12.
A couple of more affordable options are this skirt from Chaus (M–XL in stock; $49) and this Kasper skirt (2X & 3X in stock; $55).
This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!
Sales of note for 9.16.24
- Nordstrom – Summer Sale, save up to 60%
- Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 15% off new styles
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
- J.Crew – 30% off wear-now styles
- J.Crew Factory – (ends 9/16 PM): 40% off everything + extra 70% off sale with code
- Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – Extra 25% off all tops + markdowns
- Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
- White House Black Market – 40% off select styles
Anonymous
I think I need to stop reading “garbage news” – like Buzzfeed, celebrity headlines on Instagram, etc. It started as a mindless time waste and now it can take up an embarrassing amount of time per day. I want to stop because I’d rather read or watch something that actually impacts or enriches my life – even a beach novel would have a better impact than reality tv star headlines! Mindless scrolling mostly happens on my phone, before bed or mid-day between work projects. Any suggestions for how to break this habit?
Anne-on
I downloaded Libby and the Kindle app. I try to keep a pretty full list of holds at my local library so there’s always something I’m looking forward to reading. I also (and this is embarassing but oh wel) only let myself watch TikTok on the treadmill or while working out. I strongly dislike cardio but tiktok videos make the time fly by so I don’t beat myself up about using it then.
Anon1
I”m experimenting with only having instagram on my iPad,not my phone. This way I can still scroll and feel connected but I don’t waste hours scrolling (iPad is kept at home, so no access at work, while commuting, random downtime during the day). You could do the same with the buzzed app (but block the website on your phone/work computer). I also only follow actual people I actually know on instagram. If I want to see a celeb account or something, I’d have to type it into the search bar. I do that sometimes, but it’s not on my radar every day.
If you don’t have a tablet, you can do the same with a computer. Instagram reallyyyy limits what you can see on a computer and you could block buzzfeed on all devices except 1 computer.
For mindless scrolling between projects at work I second the recommendation for the kindle app. Other decent suggestions: words with friends or something that’s a little social and a little stimulating, Pinterest (fun and pretty but occasionally useful), Duolingo.
Anon
I also have a constant stream of library books for longer blocks of time, but if you’re just trying to fill a few minutes, try different news sources. The NY Times, Washington Post, and the Atlantic are my go-tos
Anonymous
I like The Guardian and Politico.
Anonymous
Not news exactly, but I subscribe to national geographic for filling a few minutes. pretty pictures and interesting bits of trivia.
Anonymous
These all charge.
anonymous
You could try deleting the apps completely.
I also use the Libby app and always have a book to read.
No Face
Always have a book to read! I also subscribe to the Washington Post and have the app on my phone, so I am reading high-quality journalism instead of click bait.
DeepSouth
You can set a timer on your iPhone that closes the app when you’ve reached your time limit. I have 15 minutes per social media app and have reclaimed a ton of time I was mindlessly scrolling.
Curious
Thirding or fourthing Libby and lots of books!
Peloton
Physically turn off your phone when you get the temptation.
Anon
Apple news.
light books to start
I’m also trying to stop reading so much junk on the internet. What’s worked for me is trying to always have a light, engaging book on hand. It’s a lot easier to switch to a book of funny essays or a cocktail recipe book than to a serious history of Latin America.
As I build the habit of reading books instead of internet crap, I slowly add heavier books. I try to always keep something light on hand because sometimes I just want to chill out.
anon
I think this is the way. What you get from scrolling needs to be replicated in another (non-digital) way. Magazines often serve this purpose for me!
Anon
I love this idea. Adding that, when I was getting back into reading for fun (after not reading through college & law school & early associate-hood), I picked things I knew I could pick up & put down pretty easily – short story collections, and then YA fiction – to train up to heavier reads.
Lil
Background – Friend’s father died a few years ago, and they are still sorting out father’s financial mess. They did not know what assets / accounts / liabilities their father had and in what countries. This made me realise that I could be in this situation should my father (now in his early 80’s) pass away. I believe he has shares, accounts, other financial assets and liabilities. My father and I do not have a close loving relationship (because of culture, we were first generation immigrants). We never hug or discuss feelings. He was absent with work alot of my childhood and even when he was home, he never interacted much. We are of a culture where respect and gratitude to our parents is reinforced frequently. I see my relationship as one of duty and we barely communicate as he is in another country. I, along with my 2 siblings, will be seeing our father in person in September as he is visiting.
My question is whether my siblings and I should try and find out about his financial affairs now, and if so please help me with what wording we can use to broach this. Raising the issue of him passing could anger him so we need to do this delicately. My siblings and I have jobs and assets and are not depending on his money, but my father is sensitive. He has not told us he is sick. This would be purely us planning ahead.
Anon
I seems like an asset grab if you are not close. Is he married to your mom or to anyone now? It is really private between them. But as next of kin, you can use someone else’s horror story to make sure maybe that his health care people have your number and you have theirs in case of emergency. And if he becomes incapacitated, what are his wishes for care and who does he want deciding for him?
Anon
Perhaps, rather than asking him to share, you can discuss the situation your friend has faced, with a comment to the effect of: “You are always so organized that I am sure you keep a list of all of your assets somewhere to avoid this kind of confusion” or similar.
Cb
Oof, my husband needs to have this convo with his dad, who moved to Canada 10 years ago. We have a small child, so I was hoping it would be my BIL’s responsibility (grown kids), but he can’t decide where to park so I’m not sure he could manage end of life care.
anon
My mother seeing her friend go through a similar thing informed me that there is a document locked in her file cabinet with all the bank accounts, etc. She also morbidly created a people to notify in case I die address book with notes like “if you tell so and so she will tell the next ten people.” I’ve never looked at the file cabinet document and take comfort in the fact that it is there, but the other list helped with updated addresses for holiday cards.
I would absolutely try to have the conversation mostly in the context of making sure that if something major yet recoverable (e.g., broken hip) happens that you guys can help him with having the bills paid, etc. For both of my grandmothers, there was a point in life where they had unexpected hospitalizations (bad heart, minor stroke) and the kids had to step in. That way its not in the context of death, but rather, let’s make sure if a surprise happens we can take care of it.
Senior Attorney
The list of people to notify isn’t morbid, it’s smart. None of us is getting off this planet alive and it’s smart to face that fact.
Anonymous
Nope. You know it isn’t going to go well or be resolved.
Anon
Right? If I have a minimal relationship with a relative and they ask about my assets, ima feel like I need to hire a good tester like the kings of old. Yikes!
anonymous
Could you mention something about estate planning? Maybe you can discuss that you are doing your own estate planning and see if that is an opening to have a conversation?
No Face
If you are distant to your father, this is not really going to be your issue to deal with. At most, you can say “I recently met with an attorney to handle my financial affairs andy healthcare directives in case of an emergency. I feel so much better to know that it is handled!” and then let him respond.
Anon
I don’t know why you make that assumption, especially since it sounds like all of the kids have a similar relationship with him. My father was also very distant and not present when we were growing up, but we had to deal with his finances when he passed. Who else do you think is going to do it?
Anonymous
No one has to. Or you can just hire someone.
Anonymous
I get that there is some tension around not wanting to appear greedy, but even in cases with no or limited assets there are accounts to close, a home to clean out, possessions to donate, utilities to cancel, final medical bills, etc. This can all be incredibly stressful to deal with on top of grieving. I think many people have a relative who is like the OP’s father who they love but who isn’t very open. It is really tough to find a way to be respectful but be prepared for the future (including non-financial things like advanced healthcare directives). Perhaps there is long-term care insurance or funds that could be used to improve the father’s quality of life after he is no longer able to communicate well, or perhaps the father wants to remain in his home no matter what. These conversations could ensure the father’s wishes are honored.
Lil
OP Here – yes this. Everyone is distant to my father. But (I’m sure) we’re his next of kin. My mother will be useless – she is computer illiterate and clueless as to what my father does. He handles everything and she is a traditional wife who just cooks and cleans.
I’m sure we do love him deep down inside, I’m just not sure myself I’ve ever really *felt* any emotion (love or otherwise) towards him.
Anan
I think what you might want to ask is not about the financial aspect of your father’s estate, but the legal – namely who his lawyer is, who his accountant is, who is the executor of his will (or however it is handled in the country), etc. You might be able to frame it as, you are in a different country and you want to be prepared if you have to deal with his estate and know whom to contact, or who would be contacting you and any medical/health wishes he might have. It’s probably not a big deal if you are not going to be the executor of the will.
anonshmanon
This makes me think that perhaps your entry point can be the story of your friend’s ongoing struggle to resolve this, but the prompt for your father can go more in the direction of ‘we want to make sure things are handled according to your wishes’, so it is good to know who (in or outside of the family) is aware of his wishes.
Anonymous
Going through this now with a two country estate and a relative who is reticent to talk about it. If they won’t share the actual will or whatever information with you, at least try and get whatever details you can to make it easier after the fact. This is assuming you’re close enough to be an executor. Otherwise strap in. We are at two years and counting to try and settle the estate, and that includes counsel in multiple countries.
Seventh Sister
Is it possible to ask something like, “If you were in a car accident or something else (Deity forbid), is there a place in your house where you keep your important papers?” Some of my planning-resistant relatives were able to answer this question even if they couldn’t bear the idea they’d ever pass away. Also, is there a favored sibling? My in-laws prefer my BIL over his four other siblings, so he’s the one with the copies of the paperwork, the power of attorney, etc.
Anon
Can you talk about how you store important documents, like a security safe / fireproof box. Does he have one? Offer to purchase one?
That will at least tell you whether he has things organized or not.
If your parents are anything like mine, they will refused to talk about anything death related.
Lil
OP here, thanks everyone for weighing in.
As previous posters suggested, I’m going to bring up the example of my friend dealing with their father’s affairs. Anon at 12.29pm mentioned a safe – good point. Yes my parents do have a safe. As far as I know they store cash, jewellery and documents/passports in there. I’ll try and enquire about the contents (without sounding too grabby). Its difficult as we don’t really have conversations even when we meet face to face, but must be done.
Anon here
Given the cultural description, I’m going to take a leap and ask if your father would react more positively to having this conversation with a man rather than his daughter? To that end, are one of your two siblings a brother that could bring it up in a showing of “I’m prepared to be the man of the family,” or if no brothers, a son in law that is ensuring no extra stress on the women your father would be leaving behind? My father barely knows my husband from Adam, but would have a serious business conversation with him over me, the little girl he still assumes is 15.
Walnut
Rather than focusing on your days affairs, start the conversation off with how you’re thinking about how someone would settle YOUR affairs. Maybe you found a great form that you’re now filling out and keeping in a specific place so your spouse/your siblings/your parents could handle your affairs. Let your siblings know you want to open this discussion and you can kick the can around a bit then ask your Dad’s insight. “Dad, sure you’ve thought about this stuff – what’s your plan? Do you have attorney/accountant/other relative set up to handle all of this? Does Mom know who to reach out to?” This way it’s not asset grabby. You’re not assuming you have any role and implying that your Dad should have someone local to sort it.
Coach Laura
I think this is the way to go. Walnut’s answer is most informative and least likely to annoy/seem grabby.
Job Seeker
Anyone in house at Oracle and willing to share their insights on working conditions? There is not much info online.
Anonymous
No but my sister just went from CERNER to Oracle and is pissed about the pay structure. YMMV
annie mouse
Not a lawyer but close friend works in HR with the internal employment counsel… seems like a terrible gig. Legal is used as the mouthpiece/handholder for all policies, SMEs in different areas are not allowed to present to managers or employees without Legal present/weighing in on a pre-approved set of questions. A friend in tech only lasted there 9 months because of the bureaucracy, how much red tape and lack of ability to do impactful work.
They missed one or two merit cycles recently, so I would be happy and plan for the offer at hire to last a couple years… including a big sign-on bonus or equity.
no on Oracle
IANAL, but Oracle is where marketing careers go to die. It’s a slow-moving, bureaucratic company with an erratic CEO (seriously, Larry missed his keynote at their signature event one year because he wanted to go watch a regatta). They spend all of their R&D on tech for their America’s Cup boat, with little/no focus on adding value for customers or employees. They’re often referred to as a dinosaur in Silicon Valley, and tend to generate eye rolls when mentioned.
anon
I work in tech in Silicon Valley and can confirm all of this is true. I don’t know anyone who’s liked working there.
nananon
Can also confirm. Worked in marketing there for several years, and the company is powerful but outdated and out of touch.
Former ORCL
Late to the party but as someone who left, my only regret is not leaving sooner. Not a lawyer but their compensation is below market. Getting a raise or promoted is very difficult. Culturally they’re dinosaurs as well – they’re very different from most tech companies.
Anonymous
A few weeks ago, I posted about my sister surviving a head on collision. She broke numerous bones and punctured her lungs but is miraculously alive. She’s now at home on bed rest, told her bones need to rest before physical therapy or the next round of surgeries. She doesn’t love TV, can’t hold a book on her own, and feels guilty not working.
Any suggestions for things she can do? Upper body injuries include a broken dominant wrist, broken shoulder, and the lung punctures so sewing, crosswords, and crafts are out. She is listening to a couple audio books and is getting into some old movies, but has four weeks left and is looking for some mental stimulation.
Sybil
Can she hold a Kindle? The Oasis can be held/pages changed with either hand.
Cat
There is also a Bluetooth page turner for Kindle so the device can be propped on a table. (Admittedly I thought this product was ridiculous when I came across it, but I now see a use case!)
Anonymous
One of those triangular tablet pillows could hold up the Kindle.
Anon
Podcasts. A good general news and idea podcast is The Ezra Klein Show. If she’s watching old movies, Unspooled covers all the movies on the AFI Top 100 Movies list, so it’s great for listening and watching along (they also cover a bunch of new movies, after they finished the top 100 list).
Carrots
In this same line, there’s a bunch of podcasts out there now rehashing old shows episode by episode, where she could do a guided re-watch? The ones that come to mind first are West Wing Weekly, Boy Meets World, and I think there’s a couple of Gilmore Girls ones out there?
Pompom
There was a 90210 one that I loved, too. The West Wing Weekly was great!
PolyD
Again With This is a very snarky 90210 podcast. I think they also cover Melrose Place. Then there’s 90210MG, by Jenny Garth and Tori Spelling, revisiting their years on the show.
There’s also a podcast called I Hate It But I Love It, two women who talk about movies they love, but that might also be a little problematic and or lame.
TheElms
Podcasts in a work adjacent area that might interest her? Does her line of work involve any type of continuing education? If so, there are lots of classes online in many fields at the moment. Great Courses (online) might be more stimulating that TV (or just documentaries in general. Yale University has open courses with the lectures and reading list. She could do the lectures to start and maybe do the reading in a couple weeks when she might be able to hold a book (or get a book on kindle).
Notinstafamous
So I appreciate this was ridiculous but when I was in a similar situation I really needed a goal so I decided I wanted to pass a certain level exam in a language I’d been slowly studying. I signed up for a course, did a bunch of those “talk to people in their language” online exchanges, watched shows/books in that language.
It gave me a sense of purpose and a goal that was tied to recuperating and something to think about during all of the doctors visits and surgeries and things. So maybe that’s an idea? Or a professional certification in an area that’s of interest to her she can work on? Or a university / college class online?
Although I did had a bit of an issue where my insurance provided decided I couldn’t actually be injured and tried to claw back things, but that got sorted out.
The intern
This doesn’t sound ridiculous at all, it’s badass.
Anon
Could she do crosswords on a tablet, where she can tap the letters with her non-dominant hand? My husband does them all the time.
No Face
Does she enjoy company in her condition? Organizing visitors is what I would want.
Curious
Paint with water books might allow her to use the non-dominant hand.
Anony
I know you said she doesn’t love TV, and I am the same way, but when I was recovering from neck surgery my friend gave me her NF password and watching some of the great shows there saved my sanity. I was very depressed in recovery (not sure exactly why, but surgeon said it is common with this surgery) and it helped so much. Maybe she could give it a try and watch something like Schitt’s Creek (fun and entertaining!).
anon
If she is a bit of nerd, consider Paramount+ as all the old Star Trek series are up there, in addition to tons of old movies. They work well for background noise or when you are coming in and out of pain killer nap time.
Anon 2.0
Look at Tab Legs for a Kindle or Ipad. It allows you to mount it on these bendable legs and position is however you’d like. Even if she doesn’t love TV, maybe there are some Youtube channels related to her interests or guilty pleasures? i admit, I enjoy watching others shop for Halloween decorations on Youtube so I am sure there is some weird thing out there she’d enjoy.
Nesprin
How about something like language learning/rosetta stone/duolingo for a mostly auditory mental stimulation thing?
Anonymous
There are lots of online courses from creators now. If she has a hobby I’m sure there are people out there teaching ways to monetize it. If she’s looking for a side gig or to have an online business she could take an SEO course for example.
Anon
Pencil skirt with two-strap sandals — this feels very 2018ish.
Question: are there good electric or battery-operated razors or shavers aimed at leg hair? A bikini trimmer is not cutting it for whole legs (long story; something else that got away from me this year). And this is for shaving; I’m not interested I. The ones that try to yank hairs out at the root. Thanks much for all suggestions.
anonymous
Wahl is a good brand to try.
Anon
I know you’re asking for electric shavers but I can’t help myself. Laser is the best thing I’ve ever done for my almost black hair and paper white skin. It’s amazing!! So worth the time, pain and money. My only regret is not doing it sooner.
anon
I have a Panasonic rechargeable razor that gets the job done. It’s never going to be as close of a shave as an actual razor but it’s a lifesaver in between times.
Anon
On Insta, how is LikeToKnow supposed to work? I just see no -clickable links that I can’t even cut and paste. I follow some decor sellers and would love to click through to explore actual goods but am just frustrated. Ugh.
anon
I think you’re supposed to get the separate LikeToKnow app, but that’s more trouble than it’s worth, if you ask me. I hate those links!
Cat
yeah, or sign up via email so if you tap it, you get an email with links in it? It always seemed too irritating to bother to me, so I’ve ended up unfollowing people who use that as opposed to direct links…
Anon
I always find the LikeToKnow set up and process to click to buy products almost shockingly bad. You would think for the purpose of trying to sell things it would be made 1 million times easier.
London (formerly NY) CPA
I go to the link in the person’s bio, click LTK, then click on the post I’m interested in. You don’t have to view it in the app, you can view using a regular web browser (but there’s an annoying popup you have to close each time), and then it always has (for me at least!) links to where you can purchase the item.
Anonymous
Has anyone bought their own health insurance even though work offers a plan? My work’s insurance premiums are about to go sky high for the next enrollment period. My self-employed spouse and three-year-old will also be on the plan. And, we hope to have a second child within the next year. I’d like to hear any advice anyone has to offer.
Anon
Look into other group options, such as bar association, affinity groups, etc. to see if you can find a group rate with the type of coverage you want.
Anonymous
Yes. I have coverage through Junior League and the American Bar Association. They are often the same plans offered through the ACA but I found them similar to my employer’s plans for much cheaper. I am single, no kids, premium for same deductible same plan went from $690/month to $327/month.
The one thing I’d say is, you lose out on the convenience of walking into HR and asking them to help you. Some companies never let HR help but most of my past employers would. So you must be prepared to make sure to follow all the enrollment steps and complete everything. I accidentally lost dental coverage this year because I did not realize I needed to physically sign an mail back a piece of paper. If I had gone through work, it would have cost me $28 dollars per month more for the same coverage, but HR probably would’ve hounded me to get that piece of paper back. In my experience rate shopping, family coverage is wildly high.
anon
My employer covers my premiums for our group’s high deductible plan, but the premiums for my husband and child would be sky high ($18K/year). We buy separate coverage for them on the exchange with lower premiums, about $13K/year, with less cost-sharing. If my employer stopped covering my premiums, I’d definitely use the exchange plan that my husband and son are on.
anonymous
thanks Obama!
Anon
Yes, thanks Obama for the healthcare exchange, because as a self employed person I’m able to find coverage! If it weren’t for the affordable care act I’d have to remain an employee for access to a group plan because no healthcare plan would voluntarily cover me.
Anon
iANAL but can someone roughly confirm whether your deadbeat ex’s recent personal bankruptcy filing would affect your dwindling child support and alimony (and arrears of each), all of which is being garnished? Do I need a lawyer to file a claim? Just found out about this because his tuition payment to one kid’s college bounced after kiddo had moved into his dorm. So much that was not on my Monday morning Bingo card as of last week but is here now.
Anonymous
It doesn’t
Anon
Certain debts are nondischargeable debts. Domestic support obligations such as alimony and child support are nondischargeable debts that can’t be eliminated by filing for bankruptcy.
Anon1
I’ve decided that I’m going to be vegetarian/pescatarian at home (but will continue to eat beef/poultry when eating at restaurants/people’s houses as I don’t want to lose the ability to consume meat). I have a pretty hectic schedule so I usually meal prep 1-2 recipes each week and eat them until they run out. I also workout pretty frequently (including half marathon and triathlon training) so want to make sure I’m getting plenty of protein. I’m a decent cook but I hate it, so I’m capable of involved recipes but don’t enjoy making them. Looking for tips, recipes, and things to consider!
AIMS
I usually cook salmon/other fish + veggies and/or rice one night a week and it’s very easy. No prep required and barely counts as cooking. Oven at 400. Put fish on a baking sheet, season with salt and pepper and whatever else you like (more on that below) and either cook asparagus with garlic and oil on the same sheet (started a bit earlier) or steam green beans in the microwave for 3 min and add a pat of butter + salt and pepper. You can add rice (but I often skip and just double the veggies). For the fish, I like a quickie “dressing” on top of equal parts soy sauce and honey/maple syrup, and a bit of sriracha. I’ll add minced garlic, ginger and lime juice, if I have any available and I omit the sriracha for my kids.
In colder months, I also like to do a veggie chili – very easy to cook ahead and make a double batch to freeze for later. In warmer weather, I make ratatouille & add either (or both) fried eggs or bread for substance. Year round, I make shakshuka (NYT Melisa Clark recipe) – I often add chickpeas for protein. This is all stuff that is easy to cook and can be prepped ahead or made entirely in advance.
I also like soups for dinner once it’s not so hot out. Lentil soup is easy to make for the week, very hearty, and you can chop everything ahead of time, not a ton of ingredients.
AIMS
Oh and tacos! You can prep it ahead with whatever you want (seafood or veggie) and just throw together at dinner.
Anon1
Thank you! Do you eat leftover fish at all or just cook it the night you’re eating it?
AIMS
I don’t like reheated fish personally but my kids are always happy to eat a salmon rice stir fry so maybe try?
I do use up leftover shrimp (easy to cook extra) in salads, wraps or quesadillas. Sometimes this is a good end of week dinner for me – random leftovers (veggies, shrimp, etc.) go into a quesadilla and I make a salad on the side to round it out.
Anonymous
Leftover salmon is fine cold on a salad for a couple of days. I wouldn’t try to reheat it.
Anon
I think reheated salmon can be quite good. I usually put it meat side down on a pan with a little bit of oil to crisp it up, and it has great flavor and texture. Or stick a touch of butter on it and broil wry briefly. Or mash it up in a pan with a little bit of oil and lemon.
Cat
I never reheat fish but salmon and shrimp are both good cold (in salads, tacos, with crackers, etc) and keep well for 1-2 days after.
Anon8
I’m vegetarian and I rock climb and lift weights. Here are a random smattering of tips:
– I eat Greek yogurt every day for the protein (17g/serving!)
– Favorite blogs for recipes: Minimalist Baker, Cookie + Kate, Love and Lemons, Oh She Glows
– Personally I do a lot of substitution on meat recipes as well. For instance, I make chicken pot pie from a recipe on All Recipes and just substitute chick peas for chicken. I also make a killer buffalo dip with roasted cauliflower instead of chicken. I make meat loaf and substitute Impossible ground beef
– I have some recipes listed below but honestly I’m lazy and 50% of my dinners are some combo of rice , roasted veggies, tofu or tempeh, spinach, and a homemade sauce (spicy peanut, tahini dressing, etc.)
Some all-time favorite recipes:
– Sweet potato chickpea buddha bowls https://minimalistbaker.com/sweet-potato-chickpea-buddha-bowl/
– Raw walnut taco meat (sounds weird but SO GOOD and makes an absolutely huge batch) https://minimalistbaker.com/10-minute-raw-vegan-taco-meat/
– Buffalo chickpea pizza with white garlic sauce and ranch dressing https://www.veganricha.com/buffalo-chickpea-pizza-white-garlic-sauce-celery-ranch-vegan-recipe/
– Kimchi fried rice, just omit the Spam https://cooking.nytimes.com/recipes/1018097-kimchi-fried-rice
– Roasted cauliflower and lentil tacos https://cookieandkate.com/roasted-cauliflower-and-lentil-tacos/
– Many, many riffs on this Abundance Kale salad with savory tahini dressing https://minimalistbaker.com/abundance-kale-salad-with-savory-tahini-dressing/
– Ultimate lentil loaf https://ohsheglows.com/2011/01/01/ultimate-vegan-lentil-walnut-loaf/
Anon8
long comment in mod, check back later :)
Anon1
Thanks in advance!
Anon
As a mostly vegan, my tip for increasing protein is to add nuts or beans to many of the things I cook. Chickpeas and white beans work especially well in pasta dishes. I also use the higher protein pasta or quinoa as a base for grain bowls (with beans, veggies, and a sauce- I often do some kind of pesto made with walnuts and olive oil for a little more protein and healthy fats). Pretty much every meal is just one dish that combines a grain, a protein, and lots of veggies, rather than eating those things separately, so lots of pasta salads, grain bowls, and burritos (more beans, lots of veggies, an interesting sauce, using Ezekial tortillas that my husband says taste like cardboard, but I enjoy). For a lots of these, I prep the veggies and grains in advance, but the rest can either be assembled as needed or packed ready to go. I also like Shalane Flanagan’s Run Fast Eat Slow cookbooks- her superhero muffins are a staple snack.
Anonymous
If going full-on vegetarian at home is a little overwhelming, start with one meal at a time. Once you’re comfortable with new recipes, ways to incorporate protein, and are confident your body is responding well to the change, add another meal.
I found my sweet spot to be vegetarian at breakfast and pescatarian dinner but I eat meat (chicken) at lunch, which is both my main meal of the day and the meal I batch cook and pack to bring to the office. I might eventually phase out meat at lunch, but for now this is what works for me!
FWIW, I was looking to make the change for environmental reasons and figured that significantly curtailing how much meat I eat is considerably better (for me!) than trying to go full-on veg and failing (this has happened a few times). I usually eat fish 2x a week at dinner, and 2 chicken breasts over the course of the week for lunch. I eat beef and pork on occasion, but never eat it at home or pack it for lunch.
Ribena
I essentially do ‘DIY Hello Fresh’ – I pick two recipes a week to shop for (from NYT Cooking, Smitten Kitchen, Hello Fresh themselves, or my shelf full of cookbooks) and put the ingredients for them on a grocery order that comes on Tuesday or Wednesday depending on what I’m doing. I find that’s enough to get me through to the following week, once I take into account the evenings I don’t want to cook or am out. I usually make 2-4 servings depending on the meal and the ingredients – I’ll reduce it to the size that uses one whole can of beans or whatever.
The advantage of this over real Hello Fresh (other than the price) is the flexibility – I can sub in replacement-chicken or remove the guac (I can’t eat avocado).
Anonymous
I’m curious to know your rationale for this.
Anon1
I am concerned about the environmental impact of eating meat but I do really love some meals that incorporate meat and am not willing to be a total martyr and give up a few things I love entirely. For example, I grew up in Philly and now when I’m back visiting family I like to get a cheesesteak. I love cheesesteaks, eat like 2 a year and don’t want to give them up entirely but also I don’t need to eat meat every single day.
Also, it will be infinitely easier to eat meat when I’m visiting my family who don’t understand why anyone is vegetarian and just generally easier to go with the flow when I’m traveling/at a conference/at a wedding/invited over to someone’s house to eat meat rather than require a separate meal. I was just away visiting some friends and there were like 3 different voluntary dietary restrictions in the group and it was a PITA to accommodate.
anon
This is how I eat as well. Almost entirely vegetarian at home (my husband is a longtime vegetarian so this is easy). There are a few local specialties I grew up with that I love and there’s a ton of nostalgia associated with so I eat them a few times a year. When I travel, I do the best I can but since dairy bothers my stomach a lot, often the vegetarian option at a wedding, work event, etc. is going to make me feel worse than the meat. I’m trying not to let the perfect be the enemy of the good.
I can say that what helps is to throw away your idea of what makes something “dinner” or even a meal. I eat breakfast foods all day. I cobble together side dishes at a restaurant to make my meal.
Anon
I’ve been a vegetarian since I was a teenager, for a combination of environmental and animal welfare reasons, but over the last few years I’ve been taking the same approach to also significantly reducing dairy and eggs. I rarely eat them at home (the vast majority of my meals), but will sometimes use them as ingredients or eat them when I’m out or other people are cooking. I personally have no desire to eat meat at all and can’t even bring myself to eat most fake meats (except soyrizo, which is great!), but I think that, in general, it makes a lot more sense for more people to reduce the amount of animal products they eat than to expect everyone to become a vegan. Some amount of animal consumption is clearly natural and can even make sense environmentally, it’s more the scale of it and the way we treat animals that’s the problem, and just eating less (and advocating for better treatment) can make a significant difference.
Anon
I do a version of this. I’m always vegetarian before dinner (usually vegan) and most nights for dinner. It’s a significant cutback on my consumption of animal products that wasn’t too overwhelming to take on and also allows for a lot of flexibility for favorite but rare treats like a cheesesteak (for me it’s the occasional night out at a steakhouse. It’s like 2-3 times a year but I really do love it and am not willing to give it up. But I also don’t need to eat red meat with any regularity). Personally taking a “less” approach on animal products instead of an all or nothing approach has been way more sustainable than previous attempts. I’ve also been able to get more buy in from friends and family. I don’t push non-animal product meals on them but since im not a vegetarian or vegan I feel like I get a lot less resistance when I suggest or prepare vegetarian or vegan meals. My husband and kids have also significantly cut back their meat consumption I think by pure osmosis
Anon
I’ve been a vegetarian for almost a quarter-century and have seen people be very successful with this approach.
Let’s be real: the average American eats 274 pounds of meat per year, not accounting for food waste or fish. If someone wants to cut that down to two pounds a month, that’s a huge change and we shouldn’t dissuade them from doing it because it isn’t enough. That’s not how you reduce meat consumption!
Anon
Two of my mostly vegetarian/vegan friends do what you do. They would never ask the host to prepare something different if they’re eating at someone else’s home. So they eat the occasional chicken or steak or beef Wellington or whatever at family or friend occasions, but keep a vegetarian or vegan home.
It’s kind of the perfect is the enemy of the good approach.
No Face
My grocery store will cook the fish they have at the seafood counter, free of charge! The cooked fish + seeds of change grain packets + salad or sauteed veggies is an easy, healthy meal that requires almost no effort.
Anon
Man I would love that. The fish cooking smell is what keeps me from eating more fish
Curious
Tuna packets! I swear by the Starkist Tuna Creations packets, which are like 14-16g protein if you get the right flavor. I eat them on crackers because, well, yum.
Thoughts
Thank you for this!!!
Anonymous
In the summer, add chickpeas to a tabbouli recipe.
Jules
I’m nearly vegan but in the last several years added occasional fish and shellfish. (So I’m pescatarian, I guess?) I like to keepin the freezer a bag of good quality cooked shrimp (TJ’s is good, as is the natural foods label from Kroger and its companies). It thaws quickly and can be thrown in a stir-fry, in pasta, on top of a salad, in tacos, just about anything. Today’s lunch is shrimp with tomatoes and corn-off-the-cob from what we cooked over the weekend topped with a little lime olive oil.
Anonymous
I’m looking for a mens casual hat that isn’t a baseball cap. I’m clueless about mens fashion. Are there any particular styles that are in right now?
Anonymous
My husband likes his scally hat.
Anon
Bucket hats are pretty “in” right now, for all genders.
DEI newbie
Hive, hoping the DEI posters can help! The bank where I work decided to require a mandatory three hour training over Labor Day weekend. People are upset, but we are in a rural area and it is unlikely many will quit…maybe just no-show! The bank VP asked me to do a 30 minute “bias training” because he sees “everyone talking about it on LinkedIn.” I have zero relevant training – I work part time in HR support but not direct hiring/etc. Many board members are already grumbling at a “bias” topic because they don’t see the point, don’t agree anyone is biased, or believe biases are based on truth. For context this region is 99% white, rural, high school educated, and overwhelmingly voted R the last several years. (My husband is a doctor here – we plan to move in a couple years when we can!). I am trying to find presentation components won’t involve anyone else talking, that can show that diversity means more than skin color, and maybe even show that we all have biases. I don’t think anyone will yell at me during the training, but “fall on deaf ears” comes to mind. If I can, I’d like to start with a baby step to at least try to reach some of the employees who are willing to participate or listen. I have been watching videos this weekend but everything seems so heavy, or complicated (lots of new vocab words! Medical studies! history! etc.). At this point it’s a couple weeks away and I’d be willing to spend a little money out of my own pocket just to try to get something together- absolutely any ideas appreciated!!!!
Anonymous
re: the mandatory training over Labor Day weekend: yikes!! that is awful!
If its any consolation, I think every topic at this training will fall on deaf ears (not just DEI) because people will NOT want to be there and will tune out.
Ribena
An angle I’ve used that doesn’t seem to make people feel ‘attacked’ is bias about ‘what’ people are good at rather than ‘how’ good they are – ie if I ask you to imagine a software expert and a Human Resources manager, what traits do they have?
Anon
Yikes re Labor Day!
And maybe expand to talk about inclusion re disabilities. A relative with CP and one who is non-driving (which is assumed to be for a DUI but because he has epilepsy it isn’t safe for him to drive — for him or you) would appreciate that. I would appreciate that because of the struggles they face. Not everyone with slurred speech is drunk or intellectually unable to do the job, especially when the only speaking required is in the interview itself.
Anon
It’s also important to remember that most people become disabled at some point in their life. This might have particular resonance for older workers starting to have issues with vision, hearing, or mobility. As someone who can’t drive due to a health condition, I very much appreciate it when people recognize how disabling this is when you live somewhere with mediocre public transit. So many things that other people take for granted are just so much harder for me because of this.
anonshmanon
You don’t need us to tell you that both the training on Labor Day weekend and having it done by someone with zero experience speaks volumes about your leadership’s commitment to diversity, so I won’t (ugh).
I like Steve Robbins’ approach to talk about bias and inclusion, for something that is palatable to a more moderate audience. He does a nice corporate program for money, but maybe you can glean something from his videos or find stuff online.
PolyD
I just did an implicit bias training that didn’t really talk about race. There were situations like, a manager and one of the younger people in the group joined a sailing group together and didn’t think to ask the older woman in the work group. In another group, the manager dismissed ideas from the younger members of the group without really listening. It was actually a pretty good training. Unfortunately it was all internal so I can’t really share or link to it.
PolyD
Ha, you could use scheduling this training over a holiday weekend as an example of bias – apparently the higher ups didn’t consider that it might be difficult for people to find childcare, that Labor Day weekend is a traditional weekend for trips because people don’t have a lot of vacation time, or kids can’t take off school…
DEI newbie
Seriously!!! I was secretly hoping the training would get canceled if enough people said they couldn’t make it… but this weekend decided I’d better start preparing.
I appreciate the ideas so far!
Anonymous
Oooh I agree with this all! I’d focus on ageism, family status, and other things that could and would potentially impact the demographic of the employees. This seems like the option that will most likely actually get through to employees.
No Face
Mandatory labor day training?!
Honestly, I don’t have childcare over holiday weekends and finding a babysitter would be difficult. Very ironic that your diversity training is not inclusive to people with young kids. Can you push back at all?
anon
The biggest issue here is the timing. Wow! That’s unacceptable, and I don’t blame people for being p!ssed.
Dr. The Original ...
I provide these, email me and we can discuss! IAmAnEpicWarrior at the g
Anon
With that crowd, I would focus a lot on objective standards and the fact that they are being employed by the bank to do their jobs, not to bring their personal issues into the workplace. Objective standards – someone’s experience and talents, not discriminating against them because they have a twang, don’t have a degree, aren’t from the area, etc. The bank hired them all to do a job, and if good people are getting chased out over bias issues, that costs the bank in terms of lost morale, lost talent, and the costs of recruiting, hiring, and training a replacement.
Nesprin
Everything about this suggests you’re being setup to fail- mandatory training during a long weekend, no experience as a DEI trainer, asked to work on something you’re not an expert in, grumbling from higherups about the necessity of the whole thing…
The only thing I can think of are the implicit bias word association exercises- raise right hand for man or career, left for woman or home then swap and watch everyone struggle to associate woman and career….
Anonymous
Ugh, please do not do this. I have enough trouble keeping track of which side is which with the implicit bias tests where you have to click on a computer. If you just told me “right” and “left” I would spend the whole time trying to remember which hand was which and the whole point of the exercise would be lost.
Anonymous
Yes, this experiment is biased against people who are dyslexic or otherwise have trouble with R/L!
anon
Two ideas:
– talk about unconscious bias and have them do the quiz that was on Slate years ago.
– talk about recruiting and bias. For instance, referrals often lead to more candidates of the same, but if you can do things like go to affinity groups, or special groups (returning to work parents, caregivers who have been out of the office for returnships or tap seniors instead of people without experience but with potential), your office can become more diverse in terms of age, life experience etc.
There’s also TONS of good content on bias on LinkedInLearning. If you sign up for premium you usually get a month free and can watch the programs. But also, TED talks and the like. GL!
Annony
One idea might be to check out David Dylan Thomas’ work. He has done a ton of webinars, Ted talks, etc so a lot of easily accessible content. It’s not AS relevant for your folks as someone working in content design, but his work is in cognitive bias and how design can be used for good to counteract some of that. I loved his talk … I had so many lightbulb moments and it made me much more aware of my biases. I think this approach is a less … fraught? entry to the topic than tackling some of the issues. Which to be clear, should be addressed, but maybe by someone else. Good luck!!
Anon
Is this in the South? If so, I find a good entry point is to ask whether they have ever had people assume they are stupid/ignorant because of their accent. Point that out as an example of implicit bias. Then move on to age discrimination. This will help at least get them listening.
Anonymous
Introduce the topic with some non-threatening example. My favorite example from talks I’ve attended was about Sesame Street – what are the first 2 characters that come to mind? Unless they have little kids who are still watching SS, the characters will be male (or ambiguous in the case of Elmo but I digress). That’s because almost all of the characters on OG Sesame Street were male. This was a show that was groundbreaking at the time, that explicitly sought to reach minority and lower income kids living in big cities – kids that were largely ignored by other kids shows at the time. It was supposed to be relatable to a broad audience. And yet despite that, the writers completely forgot that girls exist, there is like one woman and she’s not even a muppet. They didn’t intentionally exclude women, they set out with good intentions, and they’re not bad people – bias is ingrained in all of us and we all act in biased ways without even realizing it.
Walnut
There’s tons to talk about around bias that don’t touch on race. I like this as a starting point: https://www.masterclass.com/articles/how-to-identify-bias
Also, Labor Day is a federal holiday and you’re a bank. Who is showing up for this training? Why are YOU showing up for this training? I’d be escalating for it to be rescheduled.
Anonnn
I have seen a lot that in order to achieve xyz goal or to develop self-discipline, it’s recommended to develop systems/habits rather than relying on willpower. After a severe COVID backslide in health and work habits, I’m trying to become a healthy and hardworking person again. For those of you who are productive at work, have a tidy home, and are healthy (eat well, workout, rest appropriately), what systems or habits do you have?
I also suspect I have undiagnosed ADHD, and so am cognizant that making these habits almost automatic is immensely more helpful to me. FWIW, yes, I have read atomic habits.
Anon8
I have ADHD which I do not take medication for currently and I find working with myself instead of trying to change myself to be the most impactful way to get things done.
First of course, try to be kind to yourself. Learning to stop putting so much pressure on myself through therapy has paradoxically helped me to become more productive.
Second, meet your habits where you are. For instance, I always use a specific charging cable in the kitchen and would leave it out instead of putting it away in the living room. Instead, I started storing it in a drawer in the kitchen right near where I always use it and miraculously I now put it away after use. Same principal for putting a hook near where you always throw your coat instead of trying to train yourself to put the coat on a hanger in the closet, etc.
Try to be aware what habits cascade to positive results. For instance, I realized that if I run the dishwasher at night (regardless of how full it is) and put the dishes away in the morning while the coffee brews, the whole kitchen stays clean. If I don’t follow this habit, dishes pile up in the sink, stuff gets left on the counter, crumbs are everywhere, etc. So I focus on the dishwasher at a minimum and if I don’t feel like wiping down the counters I don’t stress about it.
Or at work, I realized that if I do easy things from my to do list at work it creates momentum and I can keep up the productivity. For me, trying to do the hardest thing first just results in procrastinating all day and not accomplishing anything.
Paying attention to how I work best has been a gamechanger for getting myself to stick to things, or even figuring out which things are worth trying to stick to.
Vicky Austin
+1 to this.
I am also much more motivated by time crunches with consequences than I am by random self-imposed timers. (Self-imposed anything is generally a bust; that tweet about “I know the person in charge; it’s me and she’s a pushover!” comes to mind.) See above – waiting for the coffee to brew, kettle to boil, oven to go off (don’t want to burn dinner), dog to come back to the kitchen door after doing his business, shower to get warm.
Tara
I like this – working with instead of against.
Anonymous
+2. Store things where they are used and go with your natural inclination. I have a teenager who was constantly leaving dirty clothes on the bathroom floor and refused to carry them approximately four steps to her bedroom to put them in the hamper. I put a hamper in the bathroom and she now chucks her clothes in there instead of on the floor 75% of the time. She would not put her shoes neatly on the shoe rack in the coat closet so now she has a bin to contain the pile of shoes. We have a small recycling bin next to the garbage can in every room where recylable waste is produced. Etc.
Anon
The biggest thing for keeping the house tidy is to use every short block of time that you’re waiting for something to do something else. When I’m heating up something in the microwave, I put away dishes, wash anything in the sink, wipe down counters, etc. Also, anything that can be done in just a minute or two should always be done immediately, so mail goes immediately into the recycling or is opened and dealt with (we get almost nothing important in the mail, so this is pretty simple; I also suggest putting as much as possible on electronic statements and autopay).
Anon
So with the caveat that I do not read books by or take advice from former special operators*, I do love the quote that discipline = freedom by Jocko Willink. I have not read his book or other materials associated with this quote, but have adapted it to fit my own life. For me, being disciplined to workout means I have the freedom to go try some cool activity because I know I’m probably fit enough to do it. Being disciplined to to stick to my budget means I have the freedom to occasionally splurge on something that I really want, because I know I have the money. Being disciplined to eat well gives me the freedom to not worry about will my clothes fit comfortably or do I need to go buy new clothes? It also (sad to say) gives me the freedom to feel comfortable wearing fun clothes/bathing suits/taking pictures and not worry about how I look. The discipline of keeping my house clean gives me the freedom to go spontaneously meet a friend because I won’t have undone chores hanging over my head. The discipline to get all of my work done ealry/on time at work gives me the freedom from middle of the night work-related anxiety and gives me the freedom to take a summer Friday.
Basically, if I put in the work now I get to enjoy myself later!
PolyD
I think of that as helping out my future self. Like, maybe I don’t want to stop for gas tonight, but my future self will be really happy I did!
Anon
I’m not OP, but I don’t find this strategy works well for my ADHD brain. I *know* these things, rationally. I’m a smart person, it’s not like I don’t understand it. But I get these mental blocks that can be impossible to overcome with logic alone. And then I just feel bad about myself.
PolyD
Hem sometimes I’m like, Well, Future Me will just have to deal. I think there are a lot of good ideas here, but to contradict Yoda, There is try, there is not only do.
Anonymous
Don’t feel bad. Your brain (and mine) is literally not wired to get motivation from future or abstract promised rewards. They just don’t produce adequate dopamine in the present to overcome the executive disfunction inertia.
anonymous
Routines work best for me. I WFH so I get up work out, shower and get ready for the day before sitting down to start my work day. I also try to avoid using my phone for social media during this time.
As far as cleaning – before going to bed, all the dishes are washed and the counters wiped down in the kitchen. Once a week, I vacuum the carpets and clean the floors. I also try not to have a lot of stuff, which keeps clutter at bay.
Also, I’m very much a person who has to take baby steps. All or nothing is too overwhelming for me.
No Face
Pick one thing to change and stick to it.
I work out at the same time, first thing M-F unless I have a specific reason to cancel. I drink the same protein shake when I’m done. It was hard at first but now it feels natural. Now that is a part of my life, I am adding on making my bed. When I make my bed every day, then I will add on something else.
The great thing is that I feel like I am on an upward special after a terrible couple of years.
I don’t know anything about having ADHD, but please get whatever treatment works for you.
anon
Lots of posters have good suggestions already, but you may want to check out the channel How to ADHD on youtube. She has a lot of good ideas for setting up your home environment in ways that are natural to you (not Pinterest-perfect) and don’t require so much willpower and discipline to maintain. I do not have ADHD, but one of my kids does, and it actually helped me improve a couple of pain points in our house with very minimal effort.
Lorelai Gilmore
I have found it to be useful to “chain” habits, or to hook a new habit to an existing habit. So for example, I religiously brush my teeth morning and night. I wanted to try to be more consistent about vitamins, so I put the vitamins right next to the toothpaste and that really helps me.
I also have found that having a daily habit is easier than an intermittent habit. So for example, this month, I committed to 20 minutes of exercise every day and it turns out to have been so much easier than when I’ve challenged myself to work out 5 days a week. I do 20 minutes a day. It’s nonnegotiable. Sometimes that means that I go for a walk at 9 PM. But it’s been great.
Gretchen Rubin’s book “Better Than Before” is a fun read on this topic; I liked it more than Atomic Habits, even though the content is pretty similar.
Anon
The two biggest good habits I have that make me feel the best are (1) doing my workout before my kids wake up and (2) no screens after kids are in bed. I love reading and that’s how I manage both. In the morning I get up before everyone else and listen to an audiobook while I do a workout. In the evening I take a hot bath with a hard copy book. Working out really does improve my day and reading instead of scrolling helps me sleep.
Anon
Seemingly simple question, but I’m looking to order several glass food storage containers in a few different sizes. I’m looking online because I’d have to drive to go to a store where I could find these and I prefer to avoid driving errands. I’m struggling to determine what size containers I’ll need. I’m looking for 1-2 larger containers to hold leftovers, and then several smaller containers in 2 sizes: 1 size for packed lunches (usually salads with a lot of toppings or leftovers with protein + rice + veggies) and 1 size for snacks or breakfast items (oatmeal with fruit, carrots and hummus, pretzels, babybel + crackers). What size do you recommend?
Anon
I’ve bought several sets of the pyrex ones with blue plastic lids. They’re amazing. I most often use the 2 cup ones for single portions or small amounts of leftovers, but I also frequently use the 4 and 7 cup ones. I think you really want a mix of sizes.
Anon
Thank you! Yes – I want a few different sizes but wasn’t sure how many cups would fit each need. Sounds like 2 cups will be a good size.
Anon
If you’re doing leafy salads, you want more than 2 cups, but for anything else, I think that’s plenty for a single portion.
Anon
ah thank you! Yes, will be doing a lot of leafy salads
Allie
Also – you can buy replacement lids for the pyrex. Game changer — the glass lasts forever and we just buy replacement plastic lids as needed.
Anon
+1 my bowls are at least 10 years old, maybe 15, and they’re on their 2nd to 3rd set of lids.
Anon
This what we use as well, and you can order replacement lids after they start to crack after many washes (or wash by hand I suppose).
Anon
I use these containers and like them; I decided on them because I don’t use a dishwasher and the lids are easy to wash by hand.
Anonymous
For salads, I like just a quart mason jar. Dressing on the bottom, veg/protein/other add-ins in the middle, greens on top, small square of parchment between greens and cheese/nuts/croutons/anything you want to maintain its texture. Between that and, I think, this set of Pyrex, I get along just fine.
https://www.pyrexhome.com/product/18-piece-glass-food-storage-container-set-lids
Vicky Austin
I just like a quart-size mason jar for salads. (I suspect this will double-post as Anon – sorry, tech updates at work!)
Anonymous
Pyrex Snapware for carrying food. They don’t leak and you can buy replacement lids when the lids wear out or break. 4 cups for salads.
For storing larger quantities of food at home, I really like the Made By Design Set of 4 Glass Mixing Bowls With Lids from Target. They are shaped like storage bowls, not mixing bowls, and nest to take up less space in the cupboard.
Anon 2.0
I believe Pyrex now offers the rectangular glass dishes that are divided!
Walnut
All the pyrex, all the sizes. Easy enough to start with a set and supplement additional with your favorites. This set has a nice variety: https://www.amazon.com/Pyrex-Meal-Prep-Containers-Multicolored/dp/B0157G34AY
Anonymous
Okay, I now commiserate with the poster last week who was hoping for a syllabus before the semester started. I got my syllabus yesterday evening, and I have an assignment due on Tuesday by 9am! Also my class this semester (online) starts at 5pm… luckily I end work at 5 (I have a friend in the program who works 9-5:30!), but there are now a lot of logistics I need to work around for a 5pm class. Had I known the timing, I would not have signed up!
Anon
My kids’ schools won’t send you that or supply lists but will mandate you follow each grade Remind, each teacher remind, the school remind, and the PTA remind for when they may be ready to tell you what your kid needs (which is often what your kid needs and apparently all the consumables the school may run through in a year). Binder? Composition book? Mechanical pencils vs regular? Wish I knew.
OP
Lol that reminds me that in addition to the 20+hr week workload in this class (which is what they advertise but honestly looking at the syllabus, it seems conservative) and things due 3x a week, we’re also supposed to check the course site 3x a day during week days and 2x a day during weekends. Like God forbid I find a way to schedule in time for all of my work and the assignments as they’re due but want to take a day or two off a week to not do school? Nope.
Cb
Oh no! I’ve still got a month before teaching starts and haven’t even really thought about it, but our assignments aren’t due until week 6 and then after teaching finishes in week 11.
OP
To be fair, it’s “just” a discussion post. But, its 300 words, requires 3 chapters of textbook reading + 3 additional non-assigned sources so its a few hours of work, and then to respond to 3 classmates’ posts with 2 sources per post by Friday at 9am. Class is tonight, so hypothetically some students won’t have seen the syllabus yet and won’t yet know there’s a post due by 9am the next day. Quizzes start week 2 and actual projects start week 3.
I like 8 week courses because I can go part-time and still finish in 2.5 years, but I also hate them because they are so much work in only 2 months. This class has 4 quizzes, 4 papers/projects, 4 discussion posts and a final exam, all in 8 weeks. Plus, of course, lectures and readings.
Obviously, it’s grad school so it’s a lot of work and I’m grateful I’m able to make this work both financially and time-wise, but phew its exhausting.
Anon
One kid’s school now also wants us to bring canned goods to an open house that is tomorrow. Not sure why. Was on the PTO insta page vs anything from the actual school.
Other kid’s school collected all chrome books in June and wants them checking their school email (accessible on the chrome book and some weird web program you can’t set up to autoforward out of the school’s domaine) all summer for random things like: practice your math facts, all sorts of important signups, and random nonsense, but no triage and absolutely no tip off to parents. For entering middle schoolers who often do t have phones or home computers yet. Ugh. I need ONE PIPELINE TO MONITOR.
Anon
As a professor, I admit to having first or second week of class assignments, but they’re quite short and designed to mostly be completed in class with other class members. I’m completely baffled by the idea that universities don’t let students know when the class actually meets until the first day of class, unless I’m misunderstanding your post? This makes no sense.
Cb
Right? Our schedules aren’t confirmed until early August (for a 19 September start) and that felt annoyingly late for me, and that’s at undergrad level where their schedules are more flexible.
OP
Yes, since my program’s classes are still virtual the class is held live 1 hour a week, but it is also recorded. Students can choose to attend live or watch the recording (I think this is a similar situation to last week’s poster?). I started the program during the pandemic, but I know from acquaintances who attended prior it used to be a fully in-person program so I guess it’s chalked up to pandemic growing pains? Being a mature, adult grad student (as opposed to how I was in undergrad, lol), I know that I need to attend the classes live otherwise I will not retain info (and probably will not even listen to the whole lecture).
Even in undergrad, I had a few professors who had readings due the first day of class but they always emailed us a few weeks in advance letting us know that was the expectation. If a professor does that I’m totally fine with week 1 assignments. I just prefer to learn about them with more than 48hrs notice!
OP
And to add that technically the school views the courses as asynchronous because you can watch recordings if need be, so the professors are free to schedule classes as they choose but I guess don’t have to communicate that to the registrar? However, I’d say the majority of my classmates try to tune in live as frequently as possible. You can reach out to a professor and ask when they’ll hold classes, but they’re not always communicative. My advisor’s approach is this is the way it is, take it or leave it.
As for the avoiding overlap question, I’d say 75% of my cohort are part time students so we just take 1 class a week. The few full time students I’ve gotten to know aren’t the most studious (ironically) so I’ve rarely seen them tune into a live class regardless of the schedule.
anon
I’m a higher ed staff member, and this completely confirms for me that hybrid environments are the worst of all worlds. I was kinda hard on you in the original post, OP, but I can see the legit annoyance of this scenario.
OP
I really appreciate the flexibility of the online classes (instead of rushing to campus in traffic) and the ability to watch recordings (I don’t think I’ve ever done it more than once a term but it’s a nice option to have! Last term my flight coming home from a wedding was delayed so I missed class and it was nice to not have to stress) but also I have zero desire for a fully asynchronous course (I truly don’t see the point of them…).
That being said – the program is way too nebulous. To make hybrid work I think there needs to be clear expectations, adequate heads up and plenty of communication.
Also – if a program says it’s oriented to part time students with full time jobs and commitments, then it should practice what it preaches! I have no problem doing the work and putting in the effort for a challenging, time consuming class but it’d be nice if the program could meet its students halfway and provide relevant info in advance.
OP
Also my reaction to last week’s poster was calm down and just wait til class starts, how bad can it be? Turns out it can be very bad!
FP
Right? I have known my fall teaching schedule for several months. Why would they not communicate this to students? How would students know to not overlap class timing? Agreed this is strange.
Anon
How do you motivate yourself to get your work done, AND do it well when you just do not care? Not a depression symptom; I transitioned from a role that had very urgent work that while not live saving, was just one or two steps down. Now, I work in a role where the day to day work is very similar but the mission just does not matter. Everyone I work with thinks we’re doing life saving work and is very intense, but having come from actual important work I just can not get myself to care. For various reasons, I need to stay at this job for 2-3 more years; I’ve been here 9 months so far.
Anonymous
Get off your high horse and get over yourself. Most of us aren’t doing life saving work. We work because we have bills to pay and we work hard a) to not get fired and b) because a job is more pleasurable if you do it well. Find another area in your life that you find meaningful.
Anon
I’m very clearly TRYING to get over this.
I want to do good work and work hard and do well at this job but I’m really struggling at actually doing so. I get a lot of personal satisfaction and confidence in feeling useful and hardworking.
However, I am having a really hard time lighting a fire under myself to get tedious work done because the c suite doesn’t understand xyz and needs a brief (that they will not read). My motivation throughout my previous career was knowing that I was helping people who desperately needed it so I was very willing to put in long hours, check my phone after hours, and do work that ranged from mindnumbingly tedious to very hard and stressful. I am now having to find a way to motivate myself to do so when the objective is really just to turn profits for the shareholders.
Cat
I get it. It feels more rewarding to do your job well when you have some idea that people notice or care whether you do it well or poorly.
Can you try to find areas that you want to improve and focus on that? Like – if the execs aren’t reading your memos, it’s time to practice being more concise or send the email with the 2-3 main takeaways as bullets, and refer them to the memo for nuance.
Anon
Yes, most people aren’t doing life saving work, but those of us who go into life saving work do it for a reason. And, we often struggle when we’re in a role we see as less vital.
Hang in there OP, do the time that you owe to the company and then find something that’s a better fit!
anon
I think you need to find SOME way to tie this job to your higher personal values, even if it’s not lifesaving in the way that you are accustomed to.
Anon
That’s a good point. I’m almost resentful given how little I care about/like this job but I need to find something to get me through the next few years.
Anon
Your motivation is you want to continue to get paid. This is why most people do their work
Anon
I made a similar shift a while ago and it is HARD. I think it’s totally normal to struggle emotionally and with motivation when you shift from a passion/helper career to a generic one.
I haven’t found a great way to get motivated and actually care about this job but I do tell myself that I’m learning skills here and if I’m good at them then I can parlay them back into a job I care about in the future
Anon
+1. OP, I’ve been in your shoes before and it’s hard! Money and “learning skills for the future” often aren’t enough if you’re wired to seek out jobs with greater impact.
I worked at a job 6 years ago that I lamented frequently on here. I genuinely didn’t learn anything in the role and I was underpaid to the point of putting my loans in abeyance because I legitimately could not pay them and eat. I hated that job. But it was all that was available to me at that moment, and it was with a respectable employer, so now it’s just a footnote on my resume. The good side of the job was that it was mostly 9-5, so I got very involved in activities – I was in great shape with the gym right across from the office, I was single and went out on dates often, and I took my weekends to explore little nearby towns.
Being on the other side, the most important thing to remember is that nothing lasts forever. This too shall pass. It’ll suck while you’re going through it, but you won’t be there forever, and some day you’ll be giving advice to other women in your shoes someday. Hang in there.
Anon
I think the comments about getting paid are well taken to an extent, but individuals are motivated differently by intrinsic versus extrinsic rewards. You clearly want to feel or find an intrinsic reward or value in your work. In your current role this might need to be self created. Could you work on developing certain skills, even if only you notice them? Find and grow a mentor relationship?
Or, if the money is good, focus on doing something meaningful with it outside your organization? Work your “day job” to earn money to serve on a board, host a fundraiser, etc?
Charlotte
People are being harsh about this but I completely understand. Right after college I did a job that wasn’t life saving at all, did well at it, but hated it. Then I switched to a more life-saving job, and absolutely loved it. There was no question of whether something really was urgent or not – it absolutely was. I left over a year ago and I’m really not fully over it. I am just never going to care about a job where I don’t care about the mission. Yes I get people’s complaints about how people just work jobs for the money, but the thing is I know there is a way to make money and also do good.
I do feel a bit better than I did at the time, and that’s mainly by realizing that its okay that my work doesn’t do something amazing. It did for a while, and it was great that I was able to do that and that I was able to help people. And when people act like their work is life saving, I just ignore it. If this is the most important or most impactful work you’ve ever done, of course you’re going to talk about it that way. I’d be fine with just doing the work and being realistic about how big a deal it is.
Is there a technical skill you could develop? So your previous job was the mission and this job is for the technical part. Or for whatever reason you’re there for 3 years
Anon
Sometimes I need to remind myself that I need money and at least I’m not digging ditches.
Anonymous
I think some people are fine with a job they’re meh about that pays well and others (OP and myself) are wired to need meaning from their jobs. I’ve been in meaningful jobs with lower pay/more stress and hours that I LOVED and in corporate drone jobs with higher pay/better benefits/better work life balance that I absolutely HATED. If you’re fine working whatever job for a paycheck, that’s fine but don’t be rude to OP who wants something else!
Anonymous
She doesn’t want something else and no one is being rude. She’s insistent on staying in this position.
OP
OP here: I would love to move on, but the job is paying for a certificate for me and I then owe them time afterwards. I need to double check, but I think I need to be here for 3 years: 1 year to get the cert and 2 years to pay back the company. I could buy them out, but it’s very expensive and therefore I need to stay put for now.
As soon as I’m clear of my obligation to the company, I will try to move back to a job that’s much more similar to my previous positions.
Anonymous
You need to find the purpose in what you are doing. While not directly life-saving, almost all work has some important value if you look at the bigger picture (i.e., someone selling contacts to an optician is helping that patient have better vision that will help them drive to work and do their job that will help them put food on the table and a roof over their family’s head). You also will benefit from more of a sense of camaraderie with your coworkers. Are you pulling as much on the team as you should? The intensity may be because they sense you aren’t committed enough. Honestly though the best thing may be for you to just move on. It sounds like you aren’t a good fit for the role. But I also would do some self-examination so you don’t keep finding yourself in the same situation. One person’s job isn’t inherently more important to society than someone else’s just because it isn’t directly saving a life. Society needs everyone, from CEO to teacher. And looking down on others’ jobs and their commitment to them isn’t a kind way to live.
OP
Yes, I am not a good fit for the role and would like to move on but need to stay for a while longer. When I move on, I will go back to work that is more similar to what I did in the past.
I do think that one of the reasons I am struggling is that work is generally slow. There are a few busy moments, which I do enjoy, but overall I’m often looking for work to do which makes me feel useless (but everyone on my team is in the same boat. Some are happy to have a little to do and some are restless like me).
I hear you about looking down on jobs, and I am trying to not be like that. I do think there is value is a whole host of jobs, and totally realize that not everyone who is a valuable member of society is saving lives :) That being said, I have a lot of issues about how my team’s leadership does things. I was led to believe when I took the job that while the job would not be lifesaving, it would still be meaningful work, but now it is very clear to me our team just works for the sake of reputation and financial damage control. There are also a lot of really non-urgent parts of the job that leadership manufactures into crises. Like not everything is a 10/10 emergency, but they all think it is because they’ve never dealt with real emergencies, so it’s really hard for me to treat these minor events as full on emergencies. I also have come to find out that my department is not adequately resourced for some of the asks, and so we’re just spinning our wheels.
DeepSouth
I also think that you’re getting a professional certificate that will help you do better quality “meaningful” work down the road. You’re building your capacity to help, and that’s valuable too.
I hope you can find a great volunteer outlet to fill your tank while you are building your skills.
OP
I’ll have to look into volunteering when I’m done with my cert – it all has to be done on my own time so now I’m spending 15 hours a week on that…
ID work
I’m considering an offer from a firm that mainly does insurance defense. Can someone explain why ID work has such a stigma? Is it that bad?
Anon
Because insurance companies pay lower rates, so in order to make money, the firms count on volume, so you’re almost always overworked and billable hours are a HUGE deal. When I worked in commercial litigation, we had targets, but it wasn’t the end of the world if you didn’t meet them. And the billing is also terrible. You can block bill in some commercial work. Insurance you have to break every single item down into .1s and it’s so tedious – and then if you use even one wrong keyword in your description, half the bill gets kicked back and the insurance company won’t pay it. Also, depending on the type of insurance work, the cases can be really crappy. I pretty much would never do this kind of work if it was auto accidents or first party homeowners claims unless I truly had no other options because the ones like that I’ve had to work on are beyond terrible.
Anon
Also, to add to this. Insurance companies have specific “tasks” they will not pay for, or they require “approval” and then will not approve it. Research is one example. They will not pay for research. How you’re supposed to write an MSJ without research? No idea. Won’t pay for you to review cases cited by opposing counsel. Again, how can you do this without committing malpractice. So you end up in this situation where you either have to “creatively bill” as my former bosses used to call it. Or you do work that you can’t bill, and then have to work even more to make up for it because god forbid that you don’t hit your hours.
Essentially, firms have made bad deals with insurance companies (because you have to; someone else is always willing to do it cheaper) and the firm makes that your problem. I walked away from that and never looked back!
I will caveat all of this by saying I think it varies greatly depending on which insurance companies and what kinds of policies you’re working on. The higher level and more complex, the more flexibility you do get.
Anonymous
My favorite is insurance companies that won’t pay for internal firm communications – I guess I’m never supposed to talk to my team about our strategy?
Sybil
So I had a friend who works for a firm and it’s basically as described above, but my former firm had an insurance coverage/defense practice group and I found them much chiller to work with than the business litigation group. Billing was a bit of a learning curve but it was not a problem, and overall those attorneys had a much better work-life balance. Other attorneys do get a little snooty about ID sometimes, but I liked it. I’d ask a lot of questions to figure out how hardass they are.
Anon
It’s typically a high volume of work, so I’d ask about how many cases you would be managing and what resources you will have to manage your case load. The perception (which likely isn’t fair) is that the ID firm will be more focused on cost mitigation/resolving the case at a low cost versus proving the company “right.” As someone who worked at non-ID firms, and now is in-house, I think that stigma is likely unfair as cost of defense is always an important factor.
Anonymous
If you’re a junior associate, a positive is you’ll get actual negotiation experience. Potentially trial experience but nearly everything does settle.
If you’re a senior associate, I assume you know people who do this work. If not, how did you get the offer, have you asked the firm questions, etc.?
Anonymous
Imagine working every case where a power line hurt someone.
Anonymous
What kind of insurance defense is it? Car accidents? Low value slip and falls? I technically do “insurance defense” but for industrial type accidents where the claims values are much higher and it is not really the same as litigating minimum limits car accident cases. My experience and in talking to friends seems to be the higher the dollar value/policy limits the better the work is (and the less formulaic/low rate etc)
Explorette
Because your job is to find ways to deny people insurance benefits.
Anon
That is not the job at all and reveals a complete misunderstanding of what “insurance defense” means. Insurance defense means you defend people who bought liability insurance coverage.
You are thinking of insurance coverage litigation – which is a completely different thing.
Anon
+1
Anon
Usually jobs that are kind of morally questionable at least come with other perks, but it sounds like this particular kind of job is just terrible all around!
Anon
Please explain to me what is morally questionable about defending someone who is getting sued? I suspect that the lawyers (and doctors, and accountants) on this site would hope and expect to have a defense attorney paid by their insurance company if they get sued. I expect if you got in an auto accident, you would expect your insurance company to defend you if you get sued.
If my client gets sued and I am hired to defend them and believe the case has merit, I am going to do everything I can to get it settled for a fair amount and within policy limits. I am failing to see what is immoral about any of that.
Anon
Thank you. I worked at a transportation company in-house and the amount of insane, frivolous claims brought against our drivers was just maddening. People would cut off our trucks and then sue for a million dollars when their fender got scraped.
No Face
Actually, ID attorneys are hired by the insurance company when there is coverage.
Former ID Attorney
So this will be a novel because I did insurance defense for a LONG time.
A lot depends on what kind of insurance you are talking about. Automobile and other personal injury cases involve very high volume of work at very low rates. The emphasis is usually on fact discovery and getting the cases revolved for as little as possible. It tends to not involve much actual legal work (a well trained paralegal could do 90% of it). There is a lot of using forms. It also does not draw the best plaintiff attorneys (although there are exceptions for serious injury/high value cases). Insurance company billing requirements are a PITA – although you learn how to do it more quickly than you would think (and yes – the number of things they will not pay for is mind-blowing). Over-billing is rife because it is a practice that punishes efficiency and to make up for the stupid billing guidelines. It can be a good place to learn to take a deposition/ mediate (and even try) a case. It is a good way to learn basics but not a good way to learn to be a good lawyer. However, it pays the bills and gives you some experience before moving on (and you should move on in 2-3 years if you don’t want to do it forever).
Insurance defense also includes professional liability claims (medical, legal, accounting, design) and employment practices claims The reimbursement is usually higher and the work more challenging. The billing issues are the same and still a PITA. Employment practices litigation is a good stepping stone if you want to go in-house. This is a good next step for people who started in auto/personal injury claims (and is the route I took – PI insurance defense to employment and commercial litigation to in-house).
And then there is commercial litigation. A surprising amount of that involves insurance paying the bill and it can be very high exposure, interesting litigation. The rates are still lower than what non-insurance would pay but there is more certainty about being paid.
If you are looking at an ID job, ask what types of policies they are defending under (are we talking auto or general liability), ask about billable hours and what percentage of associate met or exceeded those, and ask about whether the firm gives credit for time you cannot bill (this is most infamously travel time). If the answer to the last is no – then run!
Former ID Attorney
Also if you have questions, please let me know. ID was good to me but the practice has changed over the past 10 years with a lot of consolidation in the legal industry, higher billable hour requirements (with associated incentive and in some cases encouragement to bill “creatively” – which in a lot of ways is just trying to capture time that was legitimately spent on the case but the carrier will not pay for but can be outright fraud), and more going in house.
Anon
+ 1 to all this. I used to work at what was technically an ID firm, but doing mostly professional litigation and did not really understand the stigma until I talked to a friend at another ID firm. She did true ID litigation (mostly slip and falls at fast food restaurants) and her billable rate was about half what mine was. I still work in professional litigation but do very little work with insurance companies. A few other things that no one has said so far–
— Billable rates for associates and partners at insurance companies tend to be the same. So, there is no incentive to have a partner do the work instead of an associate.
— Cases just get assigned by the carrier, and there is not a lot of client development. There is no working with the client on risk management or anything else. It’s a different client for each case.
Anonymous
The absolute overwhelming bureaucracy can be draining. Imagine you need to provide a status report to the carrier every 45 days, and a report summarizing and analyzing a depo 10 days post depo, etc etc and if you fail to hit these deadlines by even 1 day the entire file “fails” an audit. NOW add that you need to get written permission from the adjuster before sending all these reports. And they won’t respond on the first request because they have 300 files so you need to follow up to get written permission to draft a written (required) report. Didn’t get the permission? File fails the audit and that billing entry gets cut. I wish I was exaggerating even a little, but I’m not.
70% of my job was dealing with this, not litigating. I left.
No Face
Low stakes: does anyone have sweaters and/or sweatshirts that they absolutely love? My old sweaters are all too big now.
DeepSouth
The athleta mindset sweatshirt is great — sort of between a t-shirt and a sweatshirt in weight and the neckband lays nicely enough that you can wear it on a zoom without it being terribly “athleticwear” looking.
anon
Ooh, I absolutely love this weight. I find it super useful for fall/spring when you need something slightly heavier but not a full-on fleece.
That said, the Eddie Bauer camp fleece zip-up hoodie is one of my favorites. It’s available in a zillion colors and is super comfortable.
Senior Attorney
I just got this cropped sweatshirt in bright pink at the Nordstrom Anniversary Sale and I love it! https://www.nordstrom.com/s/cara-lite-half-zip-crop-sweatshirt/6563537
Anonymous
Any tips for a back to school reset? I’m enjoying lazy August days but in September I go back to the office 3 days a week and need to get back to keeping my house clean and meal prep and doing my hair etc. i love the back to school energy so trying to build off that.
Cb
We were off last week and I’ve been tidying each room – one at a time. And it’s so nice to have my bedroom, office, and bathroom properly tidy. I have a laundry basket of stuff that doesn’t have a home, but that’s basically it for clutter (besides the millions of Lego that reside in my house).
anon
Pick out your outfits ahead of time, and figure out your lunch situation. Then move on to quick organizing and cleaning projects, starting with your pain points first!
Anon
Happy Monday, I just Did The Thing that I’ve been putting off for over a week and it took all of 30 mins. Lesson learned once again. Just Do The Thing, you guys.
JustmeintheSouth
Thanks!!!!!
Anonymous
If you were getting an upset stomach monthly and noted that it was practically on the same day for consecutive months and it fell 10-12 days after your last period, would you assume it was ovulation related? Like is that even a thing? Dr. Google doesn’t mention it’s a thing. No other bloating or anything, just an upset stomach out of nowhere. FWIW I had a physical last fall and all was fine. I’ll mention it at a drs. appointment in the future but was just curious. If it’s something hormonal or cycle related, would something like probiotics the rest of the month help or not really?
Anon
I googled “nausea with ovulation” and found:
“Just before the onset of ovulation, your estrogen and luteinizing hormone (LH) levels surge. These hormonal shifts may trigger water retention and swelling, not to mention complications in the gastrointestinal tract, resulting in bloating during ovulation.” – Pearl-Fertility dot com
“8. Nausea and headaches
Many women ask, “can ovulation make you feel sick?” The answer is yes. Nausea and headaches are two possible ovulation side effects due to the change in your estrogen and progesterone levels.” -The Bump dot com
anon
I had something similar. Mine was insanely painful about a week before my period, but not every period, and always on the left side. Doctors (PCP, gyn, gastro) all waved it as period cramps and told me to just deal with it. This went on for 6 years until one time the pain was so bad that it landed me in the ER and they pronounced my left ovary dead from an ovarian torsion caused by a cyst. Don’t be me, insist on getting a scan.
pugsnbourbon
I second getting checked for cysts – it’s a simple ultrasound. I never got an upset stomach but would definitely get that ovulation pain (which has a phenomenal name: mittelschmerz) and sometimes random pain/fullness/bloating. I had to get a cyst removed a couple years ago and it had gotten big enough that the ovary had to go, too.
Make sure you check your insurance statements – my initial scan got coded as an “infertility treatment” which wasn’t covered.
No Face
I have a different GI issue tied to my cycle. So seems possible.
A.
Might be too late to ask this question on this thread, but I’m looking for recommendations for a Sephora or drugstore-available concealer. I need one for the occasional red zit and another for undereye circles. TY!
Mrs. Jones
For undereye circles, I love Make Up For Ever Full Color Concealer at Sephora.
Anon8
+1 my holy grail concealer for years.
Anne-on
The NYX one is surprisingly great for the cost, I bought it on the recommendation of a few beauty influencers but it’s fantastic.
Anon
For straight drugstore brands I think it is hit or miss from brand to brand based on your skin tone. I love Maybelline and it suits me perfectly, but I have a pink undertone. I cannot wear L’Oréal in contrast as it is way to yellow for me.
Shanananana
Drugstore undereye I swear by the Maybelline age rewind. Nicer, the nars creamy concealer is what I will always return to. I appreciate that their lighter color range covers multiple undertones and a fair person with yellow undertones.
Anonymous
I use NARS Soft Matte Concealer Pot for zits and Tarte Shape Tape Concealer for undereye circles. They are pretty full coverage, easy to blend, don’t budge once dry, and come in a decent range of colors. I have a yellowish undertone so this is key for me!
Anon
Nars creamy concealer. I’ve used others including drugstore “dupes” and I keep going back to that one.
Anon
My 20 year old daughter swears by the ELF brand hydrating camo concealer for all your concealer needs. Don’t buy your lighter under eye shade to conceal zits. Buy one as close to your skin tone as possible. It’s cheap enough that if you want a lighter shade for undereyes you can just buy another one.
Dot on zit. Let it sit before trying to blend the edges with a tiny, tiny brush. Don’t wipe it off – just stipple (bounce) the brush.
Anonymous
Have you ever made an appointment with a primary care dr to discuss a bunch of small issues that are unrelated but you also don’t want to wait until your next physical sometime next year? It’s issues like covid vaccine, gut issues that are likely lifestyle related, refill on an acne medicine etc. I feel like I could use 15 min of dr guidance on a telehealth appointment. DH is convinced this is all kinds of weird and paranoid for a 40 year old. But IDK DH is one of those guys who goes to the dr. exactly never and then he’s so scared out of his mind something is wrong.
Anne-on
Do you need referrals? Because I’m not sure a PCP will be of much help with an acne scrip or a intestinal issue unless you live in a smaller area where a ‘family doctor’ tends to play multiple roles. I think it’s fine to use time during your annual exam to raise those but I’d expect to be referred out to a specialist (gastro/derm/etc.).
Anon
You can get concierge care or similar if you are willing to pay more out of pocket. In my experience they will take more time/ a more holistic approach versus a volume insurance based practice.
Anon
Please do this!! Come prepared with a list, prioritize it in case you can’t get through it all and knock it all out. These things actually aren’t what annual visits are for (apart from the Covid vaccine). This is so normal and common and your doctor will be happy to address them.
Anon
Sorry- edited to add, I’m a primary care doc.
Anon
I would love for you to do a post on how to pick a good primary care doc.
Anon
Yes? Those are normal things that going to the doctor is for.
Anon
My doctor does refills through MyChart, as long as I’ve seen her within the last year. I’m sure there are some limits on what drugs and what conditions this works for, but acne meds seem like they should be fine if they prescribed it to begin with? Otherwise doctors generally want you to limit your appointments to one or two issues at a time, but they also seem happy to take care of things like vaccinations anytime I’m there and they always want to make sure that preventative screening is getting done, so they’ll do paps and order mammograms or colonoscopies or whatever at pretty much any visit when they’re due. I’m a big fan of primary care and my doctor could definitely deal with any of these things, though you might eventually get a referral for GI issues. Waits to see a dermatologist in my city are 9-12 months, so my doctor was perfectly capable of diagnosing and prescribing meds for a skin condition. Primary care doctors are also much better at handling issues that can involve multiple systems, as opposed to the specialists that claim ignorance of anything but their narrow area. Definitely useful when you need them, but your PCP should be able to get you started with first line treatments and then refer you if it’s not working or there’s suspicion of something more complicated.
Anonymous
IME no doctor will ever agree to discuss multiple concerns in the same visit because they want to bill insurance for a separate visit for each concern. E.g., you can’t get an IUD during your annual, the derm requires separate visits for acne and eczema, etc.
Anonymous
Might just be your dr because I have never had this happen. I feel like my doctors will just bill it at a higher level if they spent time on a number of issues or will bill it as a physical plus something else, but they tend not to want you to leave not having things done or with unanswered questions because they assume you aren’t going to come back.
Anonymous
This has happened to me with multiple providers. Primary care, OB/GYN, derm, pediatrician. They claim insurance “requires” them to handle separate concerns in separate visits. It’s a huge waste of everyone’s time, but that seems to be the norm where I live.
Anonymous
I hate that they are so misleading. The insurance company is not in the exam room, the doctor can talk to you about whatever she wants. What the office is NOT allowed to do is to bill you multiple times for one appointment – which is what they mean when they say insurance “requires” separate visits. The doctor wants to charge for each topic she talks to you about, not for the 15 minute block of time she was planning to spend with you.
Anon
This has been my experience, too.
Anonymous
That’s so odd, because I do not find that to be the case at all.
Anon
I had this happen to me once in my mid-20s and just assumed it was the way all doctors offices work, but maybe I need to check and see if the current practice I go to operates this way!
Anonymous
Yeah, I got billed for 3 visits in one (my physical) because the doctor fussed at me about my weight and asked about my seasonal allergies/asthma. When I pushed back on the triple charge they threatened to send me to collections so I ended up just paying it, but I brought it up to the doctor and she assured me that shouldn’t have happened and wouldn’t happen again (never refunded me though).
The next time I tried to include an Rx refill at the same time as another appointment, they said they couldn’t do it because they’ve been told they can’t charge for 2 appointments at one time. Like yes that is the point I only get charged for one appointment because I only had one appointment. I really need a new doctor.
Anonymous
I literally just got off the phone with the pediatrician’s office, which told me that they cannot do med refills at a checkup. What is the point of a checkup if it’s not to handle routine issues?!? So now I have to take off of work an extra half-day for a useless extra appointment. So wasteful.
Nora
There’s no problem with doing this. As long as the copay is fine with you – this is completely fine. It took me a while to realize that I could just do this. I agree with having a ranked list of priorities. They may refer you out, but they also can probably give you the vaccine and the refill, and give you some guidance on the gut issue.
Anonymous
I would definitely do this. I mean a PCP can address vaccination, acne, and gut issues and refill scripts they’ve given you and on occasion they’ll even refill scripts you’ve gotten from other doctors. I assume you don’t actually need a vaccine since you mention telehealth but maybe want to talk about the next vaccine or side effects or something like that. Whatever they can’t address, they’ll refer out. But I would do this because why wouldn’t you take a short telehealth appoint and knock out what you can to feel better instead of waiting for your physical next year?? PCPs don’t just deal with routine issues at physicals, they deal with them year round. I also feel like guys’ opinions on healthcare are different from women. I come from a family of guys like your DH – they wait, worry, laugh off issues for so long instead of just going to the dr and finding out oh I just need this script for a few weeks.
anon
I have OneMedical, and asthma, and about twice a year I schedule a “random” appt like this. And because OneMedical is the worse about billing, they bill full freight for a topic we touched on for 2 minutes, and the appt is like $1000 for 15 mins, but with my copay, it’s $40. Worth it, but I hate their billing practices so much.
No Face
I use my annual physical this way. She does the checkup, then I bring up concerns. I like it because she will often have a specific specialist in her system in mind to recommend. She adds in the requests for appointments during the visit, and a central scheduler calls me later.
Anon
I came across a pre-order of the January 6th Report on the Barnes & Noble website, with a publication date of September 6, 2022. It says it’s written by the Select Committee. Can anyone help me understand this – is the January 6th Committee supposed to have wrapped up everything by then? And in enough time to have published a final report on it? It seems too early. Don’t they still have more work to do? I’m just trying to understand. Link in comments.
Anon
https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-january-6th-report-select-committee-to-investigate-the-january-6th-attack-on-the-united-states-capitol/1141054676