Coffee Break: Gold Emerald Earrings

69 Comments

1. Any recs for cute swimsuits for women over 40 that are $100 or less? I have a “nice” suit that I spent way too much money on for the pool, but my lake swimsuit is ridiculously stretched out and needs to be replaced. Really don’t want to spend a ton on this item. Would prefer something bright but NOT some hideous tropical pattern. Size 14/16, very long torso.

   1. Just wear it to the lake? Maybe get a 2nd one of the suit you like so one can be washing/drying while you wear the other. Seems like lake use would be easier on the suit, since there’s no chlorine.

      1. OP here. Suits are never the same after they’ve been in a lake, lol.

         1. This is news to me. A suit’s always just been a suit. If it can’t handle a dip in any of the various bodies of water nearby, it’s probably not the right suit for me.

         2. Why? Because of the water? Because of what you’re doing in a lake?

            1. Yes. Depending on the lake, there is sometimes a lingering funky smell in the fabric that is hard to get rid of. I will own that it’s a me-thing, but I have always kept separate suits for pool vs. lake. The lake suits are usually well-worn pool suits.

         3. Chlorine is much harder on fabric than lake water is.

   2. JCrew, suits are often in the $60-$70 range if you watch the promo cycle.

      1. Oh and you can sort their suits by ‘long torso’ fit.

   3. This sounds like a job for Lands End. They have long torso options and a decent selection of colors and patterns, and there is always a sale.

      1. I have three swimsuits from Lands End. Recommend.

      2. Thirding this recommendation as a fellow long-torso person.

      3. Can someone post a link to a lands end suit that looks cute on? Every time I look there it just looks like frump city but they’re constantly recommended and I’m willing to give it a shot but cannot sort to save my life.

   4. Boden has some that are right around $100 on sale right now. They have a long torso option that works very well for me (also a 14/16).

2. does anyone bulk prep meat (like shredded chicken breasts or ground beef) on the weekend to use in several dishes? what do you put it in? i can only ever think “taco”

   1. No for that same reason, plus we get sick of eating the same thing, plus it’s alarming how many people push the boundaries of food safety to stick to their meal prep plan.

   2. I have hungry teens, so I do a crockpot of chicken breast, a roast chicken, and 3 lbs of ground beef every Sunday afternoon. Use it to top salads. Various bowls(grain, veggie, meat, change up the seasoning). Pasta sauces. Add bbq sauce to it and use it in a sandwich. The kids will also just power thru a bowl of meat after practice.

   3. I generally do the opposite as my timesaver – cook vegetarian to save time, and include meat when I have extra time for more involved recipes and prep/cleanup.

   4. I will saute some veggies, throw in the cooked meat, and serve it over rice. Onions + greens + beef are a favorite of mine. It saves a little time, but mostly it means I don’t have to worry about the raw meat protocols.

      1. As long as there’s a really good variety of sauces to keep it fresh, I do this.

   5. I don’t really bulk prep, but my approach to mixing things up is to switch cuisines. So if tacos are Tex Mex, ragu or meatballs over pasta is Italian, mapo tofu is Sichuan, soondubu jjigae is Korean, soup joumou is Haitian, shepherd’s pie is whatever shepherd’s pie is, etc. I have been told I eat a lot of soup.

      Shredded chicken breasts can be tacos, or they could be a creamy cheese chili verde, or the meat in a Vietnamese stir fry with plenty of ginger and fish sauce, or chicken a la king over biscuits, or a chicken korma curry.

   6. Grill a bunch of chicken breasts:

      Eat some chicken with salad and rice
      Put some in pasta alfredo with broccoli
      Add some to quesadillas made with peppers and onions
      Put some in a bean burrito with salsa and cheese (these can also be frozen)
      You can also use leftover chicken in chicken pot pie, although that’s a more involved dish

      Pulled pork (made in the crockpot) can also be used in bbq sandwiches, tacos, and on top of baked potatoes

      1. Don’t you get sick of eating that much chicken in 4-5 days?

         1. Not that person but we eat a similar amount of chicken in similar ways. I don’t think it gets too repetitive because pasta, pot pie, quesadillas and salad are all very different.

            I went off fish in pregnancy and never went back, have never eaten pork and I love a good steak or prime rib but that’s too $$$ to eat regularly so most of our meals at home are chicken or meatless.

   7. We bulk prep but we freeze the meat in dinner-size portions so we can defrost on the day we want that protein. Eating literally the same type of meat for 3 days in a row is unappealing.

      1. how long does it take to defrost? or does it defrost nicely in microwave? maybe this is our answer. do you use souper cubes or whatever?

         1. We pop it from freezer to fridge in the morning. We store them in relatively large-surface-area containers (like, a sandwich shape as opposed to a cube) to help it along.

   8. My husband got really into smoking meat (we saw a meme that says when men turn 40 they either get really into WWII or smoking meat lol) and so we sometimes have A LOT of pulled pork or ribs or chicken. We section it into smaller portions and freeze it. Then we use the smaller portions in all kinds of things–tacos, quesadillas, sandwiches, nachos, some kind of shepards pie or pot pie, on top of salads or rice/grain/bean bowls. It is helpful to have cooked meat that just needs to be defrosted. I would get sick of it if I tried to eat it all in one week, but spread out over a month or two is great.

   9. I bulk prep, but zero “shredded protein” type items.

      I prep real meals.

   10. I don’t bulk prep on weekends, but I will make a double batch of things to use later.
       Like if I’m making meatballs, I will freeze enough for a second meal.
       Or if I’m making teriyaki tofu, I will make a double batch of sauce and also bake/roast a batch of chicken with the same sauce to throw in a sesame noodle salad later in the week.
       Or I’ll marinate a double batch of beans and use it for pasta salad one night and greek pizza salad another night.

   11. Somebody gave me one of those hand-held vacuum sealers so now I put my precooked meat in the shrink-wrap bags and vacuum out the air and pop them in the freezer. They thaw in the fridge overnight. I like to make BBQ chicken pizza, taco salad, enchiladas, burritos, rice bowls, pot pies, shepherd’s pie/cottage pie, quesadillas, chili… the list goes on.

3. I got invited to a casual neighborhood get together. The host invited me personally and is related to my boss so I feel like I have to do a pop in at least. What would you bring as a hostess gift, if anything? She is a boujee elderly woman.

   1. yep – bottle of wine or a plant that she doesn’t have to do much with.

   2. Most of the time I bring food or drink to share, after asking what I can bring.

   3. Ask if you can bring anything to the get together, and if she says no, bring a nice bottle of wine or a thing of chocolates.

   4. My go-to items are a small box (6 pieces) of artisanal chocolate or macarons. Just generally something that will be a little treat to enjoy the next day. I tend to avoid flowers (more work for the host), wine (people have specific tastes) or candles (again, taste specific).

      1. I entertain often and this is perfect if someone wants to bring something. I don’t want anyone to feel obliged to bring anything, though.

4. What is the right/appropriate response when someone who is an acquaintance and not a friend texts you and says they were “raped last year.” To be very precise, this is a tenant at our rental condo but we don’t live in that city so we have a text relationship regarding maintenance issues. She is telling me this to say that she would ideally like to install a security system. FWIW, this is a very safe neighborhood where 2 bedroom condos cost about $1 mm and the building itself has security cameras. I don’t think she is saying she was raped at the condo itself – I think I would have heard about it if that was the case since she texts me about every single minor problem.

   1. I’m struggling to imagine having an acquaintance who is not a friend who texts me about every single minor problem.

      1. If she’s really just a tenant and not a disliked friend or something in between, I think there’s absolutely no reason to think she would disclose a rape that happened last year even it were at the condo just because she texts frequently about light bulbs or spiders.

         1. (It’s very common that people are not ready to talk about this kind of thing until they are!)

   2. This sounds more like a business relationship than an acquaintance. I would say I’m very sorry to hear that, and then move to whatever the response is regarding the security system.

   3. You think rapes don’t happen in condos that cost a million? I don’t get what you’re trying to say here other than that you obviously don’t believe her or like her.

      1. Seriously. Good grief this is tone deaf.

      2. I took OP’s original question to be asking how to respond to a text about a deeply personal comment that seems weird to ignore even though it is not essential to your response or even seems to be inviting a response.

   4. You tell her she’s welcome to install a Ring or whatever simple DIY system everybody has these days. As a landlord, think of it as equivalent to holes in the walls from hanging pictures.

      1. This.

      2. Same. Prefaced with “I’m very sorry that happened to you.”

   5. “I’m so sorry that happened to you.” then Yes, you can certainly install a security system blah blah, or No, please do not install a security system because of blah blah reasons.

      Even in a safe neighboryhood, I’m surprised the condo doesn’t have a security system already.

   6. It’s much easier to tell your landlord about a leaky faucet than massive personal violation.

      Most women are raped by someone they know. A million dollar building does not protect from that.

      Let her get the security system.

      1. To be fair, a security system won’t help with that either.

   7. “I’m so sorry to hear that. I am sending you my best.

      Obviously, I understand why you are cautious about security. If you would like, you can install (insert here). Please let me know which system you have chosen and have it professionally installed.

      Again, thinking of you.”

      1. +1

   8. “I’m very sorry to hear that. Did this person break into the condo? Of course we want to be aware if an intruder broke in.”

      If the perpetrator broke into your property then yeah it sounds like you need a security system. But if it happened elsewhere or this was someone she let into the apartment then no, you have no reason or obligation to install it. “Again, I’m so sorry that happened to you, but we’re not going to take on this expense if there’s no indication the unit is unsafe.”

      1. I misread. If she’s footing the bill “I’m very sorry that happened. If you’d like to install it then be aware of X building rules and please remember you’re responsible for removing the devices and patching up any holes when your lease ends.”

   9. This isn’t an acquaintance, this is a tenant. And the right response is to say that she can install a security system that does not require a contract, like a Simplisafe, but you would prefer not to have an ADT system installed (unless you do want that, but ADT is a pain).

      1. +1

         After I was robbed in my very nice rented condo, I installed Simplisafe, which I heard about on this board. My landlord did not pay for it.

   10. Way to bury the relevant info: “what is the appropriate response when your tenant wants to install a security system?”

       If she wants to add a Ring or whatever to the actual condo door, (1) is that allowed under the condo regs, and (2) if not, what’s the big deal? Damage?

   11. This is why I think landlords need to be licensed

   12. Is there a continued concern about the perpetrator (like stalking)?

       1. Do not ask her this. This is irrelevant and frankly none of your business.

          1. Of course it’s not a question to ask. But I didn’t see the original text and am not sure how it was phrased or if she was trying to convey a continued safety concern. Also I promise that stalkers sometimes make themselves the business of their target’s coworkers, neighbors, and landlords eventually.

   13. Weird to be approaching this as an etiquette issue. As a landlord, install it.

5. Apropos of the beauty routines/maintenance post yesterday — can anyone with naturally grey hair speak to the maintenance burden of lowlights? I’m 49 and nearly 100% silver in the front, with a little bit of steel grey and very ashy brown in the back. Originally I had very dark/cool brown hair. I stopped coloring ~10 years ago because I didn’t want to put up with the maintenance — I was seeing roots at 3 weeks. I was salt/pepper at the time, and I generally like being grey, but now that I’m way more salt, I’m starting to think that all the bright/light hair is throwing off my color balance, and I’d like to add some lowlights to deepen things. I’ve only ever done single-process, all-over color, and most of my color has been at home, so I have no idea how to ask for what I want. Demi/semi color seems to be lower maintenance than permanent, but I don’t know where to go beyond that.

   TL/DR: Is there a way to add darkness to silver hair without committing to monthly color touchups?

   1. following — another brunette going gray who definitely feels like it throws off your color balance. everything looks washed out. except when i’m having a hot flash and then i’m red. ugh.

   2. FWIW, highlights require just as much maintenance as all over color so if you’re going to go back to coloring, I’d just get all over or whatever is going to look the best. I can’t imagine lowlights are lower maintenance.

6. if you wanted to sell some stock in anticipation of a large bill, would you sell a stock that was doing poorly so you get a bit of a capital gain loss but zero chance of the stock recouping its value – or would you sell a tiny bit of an index fund that you’re overly invested in?

   1. Your post is confusing. But if you have a stock that is doing poorly, currently has a capital loss, and you don’t think the stock will recover then yes – sell the stock and take the capital loss. Then you can use the loss to offset gains for the year.

   2. Yes, I usually sell an underperforming stock to offset a gain.

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