Suit of the Week: Ann Taylor

72 Comments

1. I’m almost 40 and am wondering if I’m “too old” to wear shorter shorts. I prefer something like Old Navy twill shorts with the 3″ inseam, which is what I’ve worn for years. The only reason I think I “should” buy longer shorts is because I’m almost 40. But I don’t really like how 5″ shorts look on me. Do I need to accept it and go longer?

   1. I am 55 and I have decided that, as long as my legs look good, I’m wearing short dresses. I don’t care how old I am. I work hard to keep my legs toned!

      1. This is exactly how I feel. I stay in good shape and I think still look good in shorter shorts. But we can all be delusional about things. Thanks for the affirmation that I can wear what I want if it fits.

      2. PSA: you can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. I hate these “rules” that you can only wear white, stripes, shorts, dresses, bikinis, and on and on if you “look good” (e.g., conventionally thin) while doing it. Shout-out to my fellow plus-size friends – we can whatever we want with pride.

         1. Yes. Really good point.

         2. Yes thank you!!!!

         3. Good point! Do what works for you!

   2. You aren’t too old.
      The over 40 blogger at Wardrobe Oxygen regularly features shorts in the summer.
      Longer shorts can look frumpy, so wear what makes you feel good. You may need to go for more classic styling as opposed to trends for your shorts, but other than that, wear them where appropriate (probably not to work?) and be comfortable!

   3. The universe has no laws about shorts. Wear the ones you like best!

   4. Eh, I’m also turning 40 soon and will continue wearing shorter shorts for the foreseeable future. I have some longer boyfriend style shorts that are so comfy, but photos do not lie … the longer length looks way frumpy on me. I’m a runner and have worked hard for these legs!

      1. Yup. Me too.

         Thanks for the feedback. I’m keeping my old shorts.

   5. I think conventions about who “can” wear what are changing, as well they should. Not only in terms of age, but also size. Wear your shorts.

   6. I’m 42 and wear 3″ shorts on the regular. I’ve never given it a second thought until I saw this thread. Longer shorts are generally frumpy unless they are a funky/cool/hipstery long short.

   7. I’m 43 and would if I didn’t have weird jiggly skin on my upper legs from gaining and then loosing a lot of weight when I was younger. I’m just more comfortable in longer shorts and willing to accept that may be frumpy. Wear what you are comfortable in!

   8. I don’t think all longer shorts are frumpy, it depends on the style. I wear short and long shorts depending on my mood and situation. When it’s hot out, stay comfy! I would never body shame someone for doing something that makes them comfortable at the pool, etc.

      1. How about just never body shame someone period.

         1. I never said I would ever body shame anyone, period. How about never making accusations about something that was never said.

2. I am really, really unmotivated. I had an insanely busy January (personally and professionally), a very busy February (ended up getting sick 4 days but was busy the rest of it), and I am…drained. How can I motivate myself to bill long days while feeling blah? I look blah, feel blah, etc.

   1. Can you take even one day off just to rest and recharge? I have been there, too, and I really needed a hard reset. So I gave myself a sick day a few weeks ago. I was surprised how much better I felt after one day of sleeping in and doing absolutely nothing. I can tell you that was a lot more productive than continuing to push on.

3. I have fair skin, but the bags under my eyes appear to be darker (in addition to be puffy). I have allergies and am tired, but OMG how do I deflate them and lighten them up? Concealer just cakes in my wrinkles and can’t really hide the darkness. Help!

   1. Might still have issue with settling in wrinkles but I have good success with corrector (instead of concealer) for my dark undereye circles (with relatively fair skin). I use Bobbi Brown.

   2. I have good luck with concealer if I don’t put it all the way up to the corner of my eye, even with wrinkles. I put the “dots” in more of a straight line where the main part fo the circle is and blend with a concealer brush. I use a concealer that is 2-3 shades lighter than my actual skin.

4. I am working FT in BigLaw with 2 school-aged kids. I am so, so tired. Like I could take a week off and do nothing but sleep and still be tired.

   I do not get so many Medicare-eligible people running for president (a job with no bedtime and no snooze button). Do people get a second wind once they are older? I can’t imagine being president now (and that schedule) and I am decades younger.

   1. my dad just turned 70 (he is in excellent health and shape) and he said he doesn’t understand why there aren’t any younger candidates….but most medicare eligible people also do not have school aged children and have other people to take care of life stuff for them

      1. It’s partly because the Boomers dominate the structures of power in our country and have for decades now. Three of our last four presidents were born in 1946 — no coincidence. Thus, the presidential candidates have gotten older and older as the Baby Boomers have aged.

   2. Well, they don’t have school aged kids for one.

   3. I totally agree with you.

   4. I’m not even in Big Law and wonder the same thing. My full-time job and two kids are about all I can handle right now.

      1. +1

         There is a funny scene in Working Moms (on Netflix) where one of the moms wants to get into a car crash. Her friends are worried that she is suicidal, but really all she wants is to go in a coma for a week to take a nap. Obviously extreme, but it did make me smile as a week-long nap sounds pretty amazing right now.

         1. I laugh cried at that because in the thick of a new job/my son not sleeping/trying to have clean laundry I seriously longingly thought of a serious but not life threatening injury where someone else would step in and run the household while I just recuperated.
            And seriously, ALL the commiseration. My parents are (knock wood) still healthy, as are my husband’s, but we have multiple friends who have lost parents after a long decline and dealing with that, on top of young kids, is another layer of hell.

   5. They don’t have young kids, they don’t have spouses who work, they have literally no chores or household responsibilities, they live at work so they have no commute, they travel by private plane so when they need to travel for work they don’t waste time and they arrive well-rested. Obviously it’s still a relatively grueling job (although I think that depends on how seriously you take it – I doubt Trump works more than 40 hours/week), but the factors listed above matter a lot. Obama has said he spent more quality time with his family as president than ever before, because they were living in his office building.

      1. Um, Trump is notorious for his long days.

         1. I guess if you count tweeting from the toilet, sure he works long days.

         2. long days….. golfing?

         3. Notorious for long days of tweeting and yelling at the TV. Not long days of doing actual work.

            1. No wonder boomers are running — this is what they do anyway (maybe without the tweeting). And their sleep/wake schedules are all off.

      2. That might be true but RUNNING for President is a complete nightmare and requires tons of stamina.

   6. People running for president generally have a lot of staff support – I doubt any of them have to deal with traffic on the way to daycare pickup and then getting dinner on the table while their kids scream. So yes, they’re older, but they’re not wasting any energy on the day to day crapola the rest of us are dealing with.

   7. I mean, it’s not “so many.” Currently, it’s about four, out of the entire country. To become a viable presidential candidate, you’re already on the far far end of the bell curve in terms of energy, ambition, intelligence, stamina, and resources. The vast majority of people on Medicare, as you put it, rarely leave their homes and sit on their couches watching daytime TV.

5. I cannot stay awake this afternoon. It’s been a rough week! My kitty was diagnosed with allergies and has been sneezing and stuffy, despite meds, since she started her treatment on Friday. I spent a while on the phone with both the specialist and regular vet trying to sort it out. My poor little baby girl is sweet and purry but can’t breathe through her nose and is a complete snotball. I’ve spent hundreds getting this sorted out.

   Yesterday, I got a letter denying coverage for my skin removal surgery. No chance of appeal since it is an exclusion that my employer made. I’m trying to go through channels, but I can’t come up with almost $10K to pay out of pocket at this point. My guy has been exceedingly sweet through all of this and I’m trying to stay grateful for him. He has his own issues right now and is leaving today for a work trip. I stayed at his place far too long last night, just trying to decompress together and now I’m hitting the wall. Trying to count my blessings! My sweet girl is young and otherwise healthy and I got my state tax refund today. Things have to get better, right?

   1. Sorry to hear about your kitty! It’s so hard when pets get sick. My ginger boy over grooms himself and was diagnosed with allergies. The vet said it was okay to give him half a Zyrtec once a day. Would that work for your kitty? And yeah pet care can be so expensive.

      I was totally falling asleep this afternoon too. I scheduled Friday off work because I feel like I’m still trying to get caught up from being out of town last week. I’m actually looking forward to giving my house a deep clean before the weekend.

      Hope your week gets better!

      1. She has been on Zyrtec since Monday evening and nothing has changed. The vets determined this morning that she either needs a different antihistamine or a different antibiotic. I picked up the new antihistamine this afternoon.

         1. Hope the new meds work for her!

            1. Me, too! She had an antibiotic shot on Friday and it’s an antibiotic that has worked for her before. My vet was incredibly sweet this morning and so helpful. I was so overwhelmed that I burst into tears and she was great – we’ve known each other and been friends for 25 years, so that helps. Ugh, this is stressful, then to add my own stuff and some stuff my guy was going through, we’ve just been through a lot this week. Luckily, he’s only away overnight!

   2. In case it gives you hope – our cat was recently diagnosed with diabetes, which happened right when my husband’s father was hospitalized and shortly after we had to put another cat to sleep after expensive cancer surgery. Diabetic cat is now showing signs of full diabetes remission only 6 weeks later!

      1. I had that same thing happen years ago with my cat – he was diagnosed with diabetes, but it turned out that he had pancreatitis and he recovered before we ever had to give him insulin. I’m really glad that none of this is life-threatening and she is an otherwise young and healthy cat. I’m hoping that we can find a good treatment for her and that she will go back to being her sweet cuddly self and be able to breathe.

6. How do y’all handle requests for salary ranges when job hunting? I always refuse to do it- you know your budget for the position you tell me. But wondering how others handle.

   1. I do the same as you – I ask for the range for the position instead. I believe many states have outlawed employers being able to ask about salary history, which is a great first step at least.

      1. My state has outlawed salary history but they can ask salary expectations. I just don’t want to play the game!

   2. I generally have an idea of how much I want to make, and depending on the position I’ll usually give a number, or I’ll give a range between that number and the lowest I’d be willing to accept. Typically, it’s a small increase from my current or previous role, unless I’d just gotten a significant pay bump in which case I’m fine staying at that number or maybe even taking a small pay cut for better culture, commute, or benefits.

      In either case, tell them what you’re looking to make. They will only write you off as a feasible candidate if your salary expectations are WAY out of range for the position (and we’re talking like 20k or more). If you’re a bit out of range they’ll ask if there’s wiggle room or tell you the range for the position, but also go over the benefits and bonus structure, so you can make an informed decision as to whether proceeding would be worth your time as well as theirs.

   3. Salary requirements: 60k-300k

7. Is anyone who has pre-existing health conditions working from home as a precaution? I can’t decide if I want to push for that or not. My boss is super anti-WFH (she admits it’s for irrational reasons), but my health matters more and I’m not sure if it’s time to stay home. I’m in the Bay Area.

   1. Twitter has its thousands of employees working from home. I think it’s worth pushing for wfh if you’re in a high risk group, especially as things get worse. There’s already community spread, so it’d take a miracle not to have an outbreak.

   2. I would wait until the virus is much more widespread. There are so few cases here now that I think it comes across as paranoid at this point. Plus, what if she agrees but for a limited time, and then you have to come back right when an outbreak is exploding? I don’t know what pre-existing conditions you have, but I have two (asthma and an auto-immune disease) and I feel confident that the flu is a much bigger risk to my health at this point in time (the death rate is lower but the odds of catching it, even with the shot, are so much higher).

      1. Thanks – that’s my dilemma. I have an immune deficiency requiring regular treatment and I’m going to put a call in to my doctor to ask for his input on this. I’m not sure what he’s recommending for his other patients yet. I did get a flu shot and have always been careful re: handwashing, etc.

         1. That seems like a smart plan. If your doctor says you need to be WFH now, then I agree you should request it now, and definitely present it as “these are my doctor’s instructions” not “I’d like this special privilege.”

   3. I think you should push for WFH. Her irrational reasons do not trump your health. The general consensus from doctors is to WFH and avoid contact as much as possible. This is a worldwide issue so she really needs to re-think her attitude. If you’re able to work from home you should and employers should not retaliate against employees for doing so.

      1. For how long? 6 months?

         1. Fwiw, 6 months working from home is what Britain is preparing for. And to the OP, I just had a C-suite exec share that they would not be participating in domestic travel planned for the next few weeks because they are immuno-compromised. Leadership has no problem with this. This is a fluid situation and everyone is adapting quickly.

            1. Very fluid. The US was at 100 confirmed cases Monday; as of right now we’re at 153.

   4. My husband commutes once a week to Bay Area (SF Downtown) from Sacramento on Amtrak. He told me yesterday after returning from SF that there were way less commuters yesterday (roughly 50% of normal). People are already WFH or atleast avoiding public transit. I suggested him going into work yesterday as the number of infections are still small and I wanted him to avoid public transit when it becomes more widespread. So, it would not be too much to ask for WFH now given your condition.

      1. My BART trains are still completely packed…fwiw

         1. MUNI is completely packed as usual too.

   5. I wouldn’t start off the conversation on the defensive if you and your doctor think it’s time for you to WFH, but as a potential middle ground if you face resistance, I’ll share the anecdata that my company has a form telecommuting agreement for when individuals begin working remote on a regular basis (and they weren’t hired to do so). It recites expectations about availability during core business hours, that the employee needs to have a scanner and it’s up to them to provide it (which probably isn’t legal in all states), and some other stuff. Basically, I think it’s fair for your employer to demand some assurances you won’t be taking advantage if it’s outside of the norm for your job, but that shouldn’t be a bar to your attention to your health needs.

      1. Thanks – we already have those policies in place (for the limited WFH that is grudgingly allowed/complained about nonstop) so that part won’t be a barrier. I can definitely do all my work WFH successfully so at least that’s one thing I don’t have to worry about – got the computer, workspace, etc. all ready to go.

   6. My boss is also anti-WFH, and he has both rational and irrational reasons. However, our company is pro-WFH. Yesterday the company put out a memo that if someone has been exposed through travel, or if there are widespread quarantines that they expect as much WFH as possible. For us, that entails getting IT profiles updated with unique attributes, so we are starting that process.

   7. Can you arrange your day so you encounter fewer humans? I have been going in really early, and then commuting home early and logging back in. I have also been switching to phone calls as much as possible, just by quietly setting up dial ins and no conference room.

   8. I’m about 2 miles from the “ground zero” nursing home in the Seattle Area. I’m also immuno-compromised. The Seattle King County Public Health department today said that they are recommending telework for everyone, especially those over 60 (me) or those with underlying health conditions (again, me). Maybe there are similar recommendations by Bay Area Public Health agencies?

      I am teleworking for the foreseeable future.

      1. https://www.seattletimes.com/seattle-news/health/as-coronavirus-spreads-king-county-recommends-avoiding-large-groups-working-remotely-when-possible/

      2. Same- I’m in downtown Seattle and high-risk. Teleworking until this thing is under control, however long that may be.

   9. I’m in Seattle- hell yes, I’m WFH. I started today and, luckily, my org is in full support of high-risk people WFH, and now our local public health is recommending as many people WFH as possible. Do it if you’re high risk.

8. https://www.worldometers.info/coronavirus/covid-19-testing/

   I’m scared to think that if scaled to the population and mortality rate, the US must have many many many more cases than officially recognized.

   As of Thursday, Korea had 35 deaths from coronavirus. The US had 11.

   Korea had tested approximately 109,591 people (out of a population of 50 million) as of Mar 2. The US had tested 472 people (out of a population of 300+ million) as of Mar 1 (Because CDC removed the total number tested after Mar 2).

   Too simplistic? Maybe. But still.

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