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Scarves aren't for everybody — but I have started to see influencers “styling” them again, so I wonder if we're on the cusp of a resurgence.
This pretty blue/orange/red scarf is apparently a bestseller at Ann Taylor — and I can see why. I think reds and oranges are very flattering near the face particularly, but they're better in scarf or necklace form unless you're 100% confident in your bold lipstick.
It was $59.50 but comes down to $35.40 with the various promos going on today.
Sales of note for 10.10.24
- Nordstrom – Extra 25% off clearance (through 10/14); there's a lot from reader favorites like Boss, FARM Rio, Marc Fisher LTD, AGL, and more. Plus: free 2-day shipping, and cardmembers earn 6x points per dollar (3X the points on beauty).
- Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale (ends 10/12)
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything plus extra 25% off your $125+ purchase
- Boden – 10% off new styles with code; free shipping over $75
- Eloquii – Extra 50% off a lot of sale items, with code
- J.Crew – 40% off sitewide
- J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site, plus extra 25% off orders $150+
- Lo & Sons – Fall Sale, up to 35% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
- Neiman Marcus – Sale on sale, up to 85% off
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 50% off 2+ markdowns
- Target – Circle week, deals on 1000s of items
- White House Black Market – Buy one, get one – 50% off full price styles
Hands Full
A low stakes question for the group. What kind of bag are we carrying to networking events? I keep finding myself in situations where I have a work lunch or event and I need my phone, keys, badge, etc. but do not want to lug around my big and heavy Cuyana tote which I will then have to babysit. One of my super stylish colleagues carries a tiny designer crossbody to these types of things. It is fashionable, but kind of looks out of place to my eye. Is that the answer? If so any recommendations? I would like something classic and high quality and am willing to spend up to 1000. PS women’s clothes should have functional pockets.
Anonymous
I take a normal purse?
Anonymous
I think this is what the Senreve Aria bag is made for.
Hands Full
I love this. Can anyone comment on their quality? I get their ads on IG all the time. Any similar bags out there from the more traditional brands? I think the structure of it gives it a professional vibe despite being a crossbody.
Cat
A purse. I don’t see anything wrong with a tiny crossbody, but personally need a little more room, so I use a regular size crossbody…
Calrayo
I got the Lo & Sons Pearl on a recommendation here. It’s a small crossbody but roomy enough for a wallet, phone, sunglasses, etc. I’m taking it to a conference on Wednesday and I think it’ll do nicely.
Hands Full
This is cute but had a Lo and Sons bag previously and I think I prefer something a little less utilitarian, a little more luxurious. Any suggestions for something similar but maybe a bit higher end?
Anon
I have the Celine trio and love it – it’s low key and not flashy but has multiple compartments so great to carry things.
Anon
This sounded nice so I looked it up and realized I own the dupe of this. The Kate Spade Outlet (aka “Surprise”) Leila Triple Gusset Crossbody. It’s delightful and has full dividers to make 3 pockets but only one zipper (clearly it’s not as nice as the Celine, but it’s a match for my current lifestyle) . It holds a lot for its size.
Mrs. Jones
+1 to L&S Pearl
Anonymous
I just bought the Tumia persia for this purpose. I’d save the designer purses for non-conference social or work occasions. For travel and networking, it’s more important to me to have a strap that can withstand weight/pulling and a secure design (protected zippering) that is safe for crowds. I bought mine in gray to match my luggage and because it could go OK with black or navy (I tend to pack for one or the other being the base when I work travel). If I were going to bring a designer purse to a conference, I’d do a clutch that I could tuck under an arm (I like the Mansur Gavriel cloud regular size since it is so roomy). But even then, I’d likely only bring that to offsite dinners. Not the cocktail hours when you want your arms as free as possible.
Anon
I usually travel to these things so I have my big tote that carries my laptop, and I take along a crossbody – not tiny, big enough to fit my phone and sunglasses, lipstick, a small compact, and a few credit cards and bills. For events during the day I usually have my tote because the conference is usually giving out materials, but for evening stuff I break out the crossbody. Old style guides always used to say a clutch for this, but I need my hands free to gesticulate wildly (cannot help it) or hold a glass of wine.
Runcible Spoon
Same — I have a work tote that can look like a capacious purse if I have to bring it everywhere, but I also carry a cross-body that can slip into the tote, and slip out for non-work venue events, like work dinners during travel. Both Tumi, which are indestructible, and gorgeous!
Anon
I have a cuyana tote and a longchamp leather cross body with tassels. My tote is capacious, though I’m not sure I could rob a bank with it, but it would absolutely fit my shoes and lunch if I didn’t have my laptop in it. I like that it’s not super firm and has some drape to it so that I’m not bapping my bag into other people at a crowded coffee reception or whatever.
DC Inhouse Counsel
But is it ludicrously capacious?
Anon
I’m the Anon with the cuyana. I would say mine, while being capacious, is not ludicrously capacious, in that it will not slide across the floor, which is why I mentioned that it’s probably not the choice for bank robberies.
Runcible Spoon
To DC Inhouse counsel (below) — YES, my work tote IS ludicrously capacious. (That’s the “Succession” quip I was trying to evoke, but couldn’t quite recall, thank you!)
Runcible Spoon
Sorry, I didn’t know where this response would land — I mean to DC Inhouse Counsel (above)
anon
Assuming that you are at a level at these events that a designer bag will not be out of place, the LV Diane, YSL shoulder bags or a similar super classic shoulder bag is probably your answer here – bought second hand.
PLB
I’m favoring my YSL envelope clutch lately for events like this.
Anne-on
+1 – for events where it’s more formal I’ll carry a luxury designer ‘wallet on chain’. For an evening networking event at the conference hotel where I didn’t want to pack a purse and my laptop bag I either carry the Lo & Sons Pearl or a clutch (which usually gets tucked under an arm).
Anon
Yep, this is the answer
AIMS
I personally think the answer is a smaller crossbody. I have a Cuyana one that feels nicer than L&Sons ( I wasn’t a fan of the pearl, despite the many raves) but is perfectly unbranded to work at multiple events. My really small bags tend to feel not quite right at most workweek events so I save them for times when I am not coming from the office.
Lily
Wondering if I am completely normal or if (as my mom thinks) I need therapy or some sort of anti-anxiety medication. The nonstop massacres in the news, especially when there are children victims, are seriously messing with my head. Like, I’ll be doing something (today, getting my hair cut) and have to fight back tears because I can’t stop thinking about the children and their parents and so much rage that nothing is being done to stop this. I don’t accept that I should simply bury my head in the sand and stop listening to the news (and even if I did, I would see it on social media or in person from my colleagues or friends).
Today I was reading updates about the TX mall shooting and there were some pretty graphic descriptions including children and I suddenly got a feeling of extreme helplessness and hopelessness. Ultimately these moments pass and I go back to doing whatever I was doing but then it hits me throughout the day and I feel so guilty for just living my life normally as if there weren’t kids getting their heads blown off (literally) every day. Does anyone else feel that (given the randomness and pointlessness of these massacres) they’re just waiting for something really bad to happen in their own family or community?
Anonymous
If it’s to the point where these thoughts are disrupting your life, then I think therapy might be a good thing.
Anon
+1
I’m upset, but the thoughts don’t interfere with my day.
Anon.
I am with you. Gun violence, climate crisis and environmental harm, social disparities, pandemic and the list goes on.
I am a medically vulnerable person that has been advised by her doctors to remain Covid-conscious for the foreseeable future (and BTW, the WHO having ended the global emergency declaration does NOT mean that the pandemic is over, just that coordinated global response will end). I have to actively seek joyful experiences in the few areas of my personal life that I can still control. Yet, several times per week I get an unsettling feeling of doom and despair about our society and how we’re not protecting the most vulnerable populations – kids, elderly, sick, disabled, minorities…
Anon
I think you’re totally normal. There are some really messed up things going on in the world, and mass shootings where kids keep getting killed are at the top of the list. It’s actually quite alarming that we’ve become so complacent about these things. I know there are mixed opinions on Glennon Doyle, but I have to agree with what she said in her book about being upset about things like this – something along the lines of “I’m not a mess. I’m paying attention.”
Anonymous
One can pay attention without it getting to the point of feeling guilty for living their life, though…
anon
I think this is both a normal reaction and that you’d benefit from doing something different. I’m not qualified to say whether that is taking action, or working with a therapist to learn some coping skills, or something else.
Because I want to see people take action to make things better (it’ll take a lot of people working very hard to make things better!), here are some things you can do to help: You can get involved in a group that favors gun control. You can give money to candidates who favor gun control. You can call your elected officials. You can get involved in campaigns of candidates who support gun control. You can give to PACs that support candidates who support gun control.
anonshmanon
yep, both can be true! Your reaction is perfectly normal, and you could use help coping with this bleak reality.
anon
This is me, but I am also in the throws of perimenopause and I cry at the drop of a hat. Anything emotional sets me off.
I think it is a problem, and I recommend talking to your doctor about it. I’m seeing my doctor next month about it and hope that hormone replacement therapy will help. Because living like this is just…. depressing!
And yes, the world is pretty depressing right now. And meeting people who close themselves off from that and/or deny that, make me even more depressed!
Anecdata
I would say, if people who are close to you and know you in IRL are saying “hey, you seem like you’re struggling; have you thought about therapy?”, it’s worth taking seriously. You can always go for a bit and stop if it’s not helping. But when you are in the midst of anxiety or depression, it can be very hard to judge for yourself realistically what’s going on.
NYNY
I feel similarly, with moments of rage and helplessness. The two things that help me – a little, not a lot – are
– limiting social media if I’m feeling especially vulnerable – this can mean staying off it completely or muting specific topics/words/posters
– trying to turn my rage to action by attending protests and supporting non-profits fighting gun violence or politicians running against those who stand in the way of gun reforms
Also, no matter what else you do, make sure that autoplay is disabled on your social media so you have to always choose to watch a video.
Anon
I am having the same reaction to the descriptions of the dead child in the Texas shooting. I also read the article about the Sandy Hook medical examiners, which described the injuries to some of the children, and am struggling pretty hard with a sense of horror and fear. Objectively I know that even at this frequency, there are many greater risks to my children than mass shootings, but it’s really hard.
Anon
It sounds like you’re really looking for a way to channel these strong feelings into action, but also feel that it’s hopeless? Therapy might help you work through this impasse in a “think through this” way.
If therapy tried to convince you that actually this is all okay / not your problem / not worth worrying about, I would find that counterproductive (since that attitude I feel is contributing to “nothing being done about this” in the first place!).
anon
I think therapy would be helpful for you so you can work to identify things you can do to help while also being able to manage intrusive thoughts. I stay lightly on top of current events, but it doesn’t depress me or ruin my day. I know there are enormous world problems that I cannot alone fix. I do my small part to try to help, but I can’t and won’t take on all the problems as my own. That is not how I want to live my life and I am able to compartmentalize these things successfully, for the most part.
anon
I don’t mean this judgy or criticizing (I hope it doesn’t come across that way), but do you ever feel guilty for being able to compartmentalize these things? I ask because am able to too (for the most part), but sometimes I get stuck thinking about how it’s not really fair that I can just move on from reading an article about it while the victims’ relatives and friends will never get to compartmentalize it.
Anon
I don’t understand how you can function in society without being able to compartmentalize atrocities. There are objectively awful and unfair things happening all over the world that touch upon people’s lives every day.
If you vote and donate to the right causes and don’t participate in violence, then what is the alternative? Stay home and constantly mourn?
I also disagree that victims’ relatives and friends will never get to compartmentalize. I say this as the daughter of a violent murder victim. I don’t think about what happened to her all the time or else I wouldn’t be able to live my life. That doesn’t mean I’m not sad or I don’t grieve for her; it just means that I don’t think about it every second of every day so that I can do things like hold a job and pay my mortgage.
Anon
+1 to all this.
anon
I don’t, no. But I’ve also had years of therapy and practice managing my emotions and feelings in a way that works best for me and my life. I can’t take on everything for everyone. Feeling guilty would negate this work and effort for me, so no, I won’t feel guilty about it. I completely understand why someone would feel guilty and I absolutely feel incredibly sad for people who are directly impacted. No question.
anon 2
I’m not the OP, but I also take a pragmatic view.
Lots of things are horribly not fair in the world. There is only a chance of the world improving if people who are comparatively lucky contribute to improving the world. Very few people have the power to totally fix any given major problem, but most people have the ability to contribute to improving something.
Getting bogged down in how unfair things are isn’t an action that will make things better for anyone.
Anonymous
Nothing about life is fair, though. There is a lot of misery and tragedy in the world.
It is awful that victims can’t compartmentalize. That doesn’t mean that the people who can should ever feel guilty for being able to. Feeling guilty helps no one.
Anon
I mean, I think it makes sense that you wouldn’t spend your whole life grieving if you weren’t personally affected. It doesn’t seem like you should feel guilty about not being as affected by a mass shooting as the victims’ families. That’s normal, and is how human emotions work.
Anon
I think this is fairly normal and understandable, but also that you might benefit from therapy and/or medication. It’s not a binary where either you’re right or your mom is right. You can both be right.
Anonymous
I am in Texas and that mall is near where I live. I have been there with my mother. My sister almost went there on Saturday. I’m definitely having trouble concentrating today. It’s hard to live in these situations with constant threats. If you are empathetic and you have a amped up nervous system (like me) things things are going to make it difficult to not be affected. Mindfulness helps. But it’s also ok to not be ok when horrible things happen.
Anon
I think you’re completely normal AND you could benefit from therapy. The situation is not good, and you’re very aware of the situation because of the news. You’re also aware the situation could happen ‘in your own family or community’ – because it could. But, you presumably don’t have this level of anxiety about car crashes, strokes (other things that could happen in your own family or community) or people experiencing war, hunger, extreme poverty, exploitation, violence (other gut wrenching things). There is a lot of bad in the world and learning how to manage your emotions around it can only be helpful, as could be calibrating your perspective on risk.
Anonymous
I think I might be one of the very few people alive who has never seen an “influencer” “style” anything…
Pretty scarf, though…
Runcible Spoon
It’s only now available in blue. Could be nice, but just thought I’d note the color that is now available.
Clementine
In today’s update of our ongoing ‘Shirts that work for our body and are reasonably stylish’ saga: Are peplums back? I just saw a wide stretchy belt – I still have one in my closet as that was my JAM circa 2012. Is this a thing?
Anon
Idk about what’s “in”, but Queen Letizia wore peplum to the coronation and it looked amazing!
Anon
But what doesn’t look amazing on her?
Anon
Every time I see her name I think Queen Latifah and then hate to adjust my mental image when I figure it out. But Queen Latifah also looks amazing in everything.
I am also #TeamPeplum. I’ve always had a thing for anything 1940s inspired (which I know was in turn inspired by prior periods, but as a classic movie lover, I am stuck in the 40s)
New vegetable gardener
For those of you experienced vegetable gardeners, where do you like to buy your seeds? Any online sources/good deals? Or do you buy everything locally, for safety?
I want to have a vegetable garden this year. I know I will probably buy tomato plants, but in my area most folks plant from seeds. I’d like to try a bunch of things, but not grow too much of each since I am just feeding myself. So far I’d like to try beets, chard, peas, eggplant, squash……
Anon
I don’t know what safety has to do with buying locally, but I like Fruition Seeds. They’re explicitly for a northern climate though.
anon
I’m in the midwest and weather has been crazy lately. I wasn’t sure if seeds can be hurt by temperature changes. Where I am, it is in the 80’s one day, and can go down to the 30’s later that week. I just wasn’t sure if shipping seeds and having them sit in too cold or too hot temperatures was bad.
Anon
Oh, this makes sense. We order lots of seeds at my house and have never had an issue like this that I know of. If you buy seeds at a local store, those were almost certainly shipped from somewhere because it’s not like the local farmers gather up seed at the end of the season and sell those to plant stores.
Anon
Fruition just sent out an email saying to destroy all tomato and exposed pepper seedlings because they are infected with tomato brown rugose fruit virus. I would avoid them this year!
Anon
It really depends, but I’ve bought from all sorts of places – Park Seed, Burpee, Select Seeds. I usually buy based on who has more obscure things that I’m looking for. Depending on where you live it may be a little on the late side to start some things from seed. I started things like eggplant and and tomatoes a couple months ago, though I just planted squash from seed. Certain things like peas are cooler weather crops so in my area we planted those from seed in March, but that doesn’t mean it’s not worth a try.
anon
Thanks. It isn’t too late here. We have still had some nights near freezing.
Anon
I’m not sure why it’s dangerous to buy seeds non-locally. Most of the local farmers I know don’t sell their actual seeds. My entire front yard is a vegetable and flower garden, and we get most of our seeds from Johnny Seed. It’s a reputable company!
If you’re interested in going local, there are usually plant sales around the time when you should be planting where you can get starts from local farmers.
Cat
by safety do you mean… what? Getting seeds for some invasive plant instead of what you ordered? We use Burpee & Eden Bros. Basically just wait for a promo code that matches what we want to order.
Anon
Personally, I think it’s late for seeds. I’d buy transplants. Chard, beets and peas grow well from seed, but they’re more cool season veggies and will go to seed quickly in hot temps, so I might plant them when you anticipate temps cooling. You may be a bit late for eggplant and squash but I guess worth a try. I have definitely bought transplants of squash.
The problem with seeds is that you get way more than you need. Plant two or three in the same place and then thin to the strongest seedling. Don’t ultimately plant more than one to two of each eggplant and squash.
anon
Thanks for your advice!
I almost wish I had someone to share seeds with, as yes I need so few it seems silly to spend so much on 100s/1000s of seeds.
It almost snowed last week, so a neighbor who plants vegetables yearly said that we are just nearing time to start the seeds. I’ll look for some small transplants, but honestly other than tomatoes no one tends to do transplants here. But I’ll look!
Thanks for all of your advice.
Anon
Seed Savers Exchange. At its core, its people swapping heirloom seeds. But you can just buy the seeds too. They are good quality seeds with a good germination rate in my opinion. It’s also just nice to support this organization.
anon
Thanks for this suggestion. I would have never found it on my own.
Anon
Any recipes for an Oreo cake? A special boy in my life asked for one for his birthday on Wednesday.
Mrs. Jones
Sorry for not actually answering your question, but I’d get a Oreo blizzard ice cream cake from Dairy Queen.
Gail the Goldfish
Yes. An oreo blizzard ice cream cake is always the right answer.
Gail the Goldfish
Oh, but I do have a good recipe for oreo cupcakes if you don’t go the blizzard cake route and would consider cupcakes instead of cake. It’s the oreo on the bottom that really makes it. I prefer the whipped cream frosting with them, but cream cheese is good too:
30 oreos
1 white cake mix (18 1/2 oz. box)
1 cup sour cream
1/2 cup vegetable oil
3 large eggs
1 tsp. vanilla
1. Place a rack in the center of the oven and preheat the oven to 350. Line 24 cupcake cups with paper liners. Set the pans aside.
2. Count out 12 Oreos and separate the top and bottom wafers. Make sure each has some icing on it. Place one wafer, icing side up, in the bottom of each paper liner. Set aside. Place the remaining 18 Oreos between sheets of waxed paper or in a large, closed zip-loc and crush them. (I use a food processor-you could use the one that is attached to your Cuisinart stick) Set these crumbs aside.
3. Place the cake mix, sour cream, oil, eggs and vanilla in a large mixing bowl. Blend with an electric mixer on low speed for 30 seconds. Stop the machine and scrape down the sides of the bowl with a rubber spatula. Increase the mixer speed to medium and beat 1 1/2 minutes more. scraping down the sides again if needed. Measure out 1 1/2 cups of the crushed Oreos and fold these into the batter until well incorporated. Set aside the remaining crushed Oreos for garnish. Spoon or scoop 1/3 cup batter into each lined cupcake cup, filling it three quarters of the way full. (You will get between 22 and 24 cupcakes; remove the empty liners, if any. Place pans in oven.
4. Bake the cupcakes until they are lightly golden and spring back when lightly pressed with your finger, 18 to 20 minutes. Remove the pans from the oven and place them on wire racks to cool for 5 minutes. Run a dinner knife around the edges of the cupcake liners, lift the cupcakes up from the bottoms of the cups using the end of the knife, and pick them out of the cups carefully with your fingertips. Place them on a wire rack to cool for l5 minutes before frosting. They can be iced with Buttercream or either of the two frostings below.
Cream Cheese Oreo Frosting
8 oz. cream cheese
1/2 cup butter, room temperature
3 to 4 cups powdered sugar
1/2 tsp. vanilla
3/4 cup. crushed Oreos
1. Whip cream cheese and butter in mixing bowl
2. Mix in sugar l cup at a time.
3. Add vanilla
4. Gently stir in Oreos.
Whipped Cream Frosting
1/2 cup unsalted butter
l 3/4 cup confectioner’s sugar, sifted
pinch of salt
1/3 cup whipping cream
1/2 tsp. vanilla
remaining crushed oreos from cupcake recipe
Mix butter, sugar, salt until creamy. Increase mixer speed to high and beat until light and fluffy. Add whipping cream and vanilla. Beat until smooth. Fold in crushed oreos.
OOO
Pillsbury makes an Oreo cake mix
Lydia
randomly I just made this this week and it’s not very oreo-y (or good imo). basically just a white cake with some random brown specs.
Anon
Coldstone creamery makes Oreo ice cream cakes.
Another option:
Pioneer Woman chocolate cake recipe, put into 2 round pans.
Find a good vanilla frosting recipe. Frost cake, add crushed Oreos to the frosting, top with Oreos.
Anon
Sally’s baking addiction has one and her recipes never fail.
AIMS
I made it and can attest to how delicious it is! I think it maybe called a cookies and cream cake? Recipe is easy and came out perfect.
Gingivitis
it’s the first time where i’m at a place where I might be leaving a job for a new one rather than it being temporary or seasonal or going to school or whatever. weirdly excited about the prospect? I haven’t got the new one yet but I’m hopeful about a couple of prospects. clicking through projects to write a close out and thinking I might never have to deal with it again has been great haha