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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 213 Comments · by

Thursday’s TPS Report: Textured V-Neck Flounce Dress

The Personal Shopper (TPS) |

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Ann Taylor Textured V-Neck Flounce DressI'm really liking this V-neck dress from Ann Taylor. I like the high V, the textured cotton detailing on the shoulders and the sides, and the general A-line shape of it. It's nice to see a hidden back zipper, as well. It's part of AT's 40% off sitewide sale and available in regular and petites, sizes 00-14 — was $139, then marked to $99, meaning the code brings it down to $59.99. Nice! Ann Taylor Textured V-Neck Flounce Dress Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-2)

Sales of note for 9.19.24

  • Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September, and cardmembers earn 3x the points (ends 9/22)
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Boden – 15% off new styles
  • Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
  • J.Crew – 50% off select styles — and 9/19 only, 50% off the cashmere wrap
  • J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
  • Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
  • Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – Anniversary event, 25% off your entire purchase — Free shipping, no minimum, 9/19 only
  • Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
  • Tuckernuck – Friends & Family Sale – get 20%-30% off orders (ends 9/19).
  • White House Black Market – 40% off select styles

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About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. Garanimals for work (esp. travel)

    Y’all, I’m thinking of this as a good investment that will work well for multi-day work travel this summer-spring-fall (in black — I have a tan suit already and don’t want two light suits in a row):

    JCrew Sidney Jacket
    JCrew 120s pencil skirt
    JCrew 120s pants (I want the Paley, but will probably not go with that — too casual?)
    JCrew Emmaleigh dress (today’s featured dress is lovely, but I want stuff that really goes together)

    Am I going to be wearing the jacket to pieces if I expect it to go with that many bottoms? Also, am I going overboard on this? I am thinking that I will have to think less about what goes with what and this will make my life just easier (plus, I think I can break all of this up when not traveling).

    I used to buy a suit a season and haven’t in a while and I’m forgetting what a giant investment it is initially.

    • TBK

      I think that would be great. Are you likely to wear it as a full suit always, or will you sometimes pair the bottoms/dress with a cardigan or other jacket? I think if you’re going to rotate in other sweaters/jackets, it should be fine. I’ve often thought about putting together a suit wardrobe like this. If you’re going to have a black skirt, dress, jacket, and pants (and who doesn’t have all of those) then why not have them all be part of the same suit set? Brilliant, I think.

    • A passion for fashion

      I have a similar mix (skirt, slacks, and dress plus jacket) in the jcrew pinstripe 120s in both navy and charcoal. I get a ton of wear out of them and both have become my go-to suits.

      I think you can bring the whole thing when you travel, just make sure the blouses and accessories you bring really mix things up ( I.e don’t bring two pink blouses).

    • Polished Pinstripes

      All of the J. Crew 120s pieces are about as hard-wearing as you can find, so I don’t think you’ll have any trouble wearing the jacket with that many bottoms. And I love the fact that they all match – I’ve brought my J. Crew jacket/pants/skirt/dress set along on business trips before and it’s so convenient!

      Just make sure that the jacket fits well across the shoulders if you are planning to wear it on a daily basis. If it is slightly tight, I recommend getting the next size up and getting it tailored so that you are not straining the fabric (I had to do this with my J. Crew jacket). Usually it’s not a big deal if you are only wearing the jacket once or twice a week, but if you are planning on wearing it every day you want to be sure not to strain the fabric across the back and shoulders because it can eventually tear.

    • ss

      I nearly always bring a suit for multi-day trips because yes, you are absolutely right that it is just the easiest thing to do. I prefer knits to blouses underneath since they can be packed without needing an iron on arrival, and am a fan of an old-school twin-set as an option for non-jacket days (Jcrew does a nice cotton version ‘Jackie’ which I admire so much that I go to the trouble of ordering from outside the US).

      I wouldn’t worry about wear on the jacket – this approach we’re talking about is similar to the way most men I know get dressed for work ie. a handful of suits per season, with a bigger rotation of dress shirts.

    • Garanimals for me too!

      I don’t know if you’re checking but this is spooky – I literally sat down last night and ordered your list (in navy) for the same reason! I admit it felt weird pulling the trigger on such a huge purchase but I kept reminding myself that I was ordering multiple sizes so at least 3 of the pieces would be returned. Best of luck to both of us!

  2. TBK

    Missed yesterday’s post re Corpor***Moms because, hey, babies, but caught up with my blogs at 3:00am because, hey, babies, and have to say SO EXCITED ABOUT THIS! I was complaining to Mr. TBK that there was no good parenting forum out there (and I will NOT do DCUrbanMoms – it’s the worst, cattiest place I’ve ever seen online) and he said “it seems like there should be a Corpor*** page for moms since I’d think there’d be plenty of women on there with kids.” Well whatya know. Thanks, Kat!

      • TBK

        So good! They’re growing like crazy. Put on two pounds in their first month (about double the normal amount). The doctor said that was amazing and terrific since they were on the small side at birth. Since feeding them has been angsty nightmare for me (bfing twins is a special superpower I don’t quite have so we’re doing a weird combo of bfing, pumping, and formula — my husband has ordered me to stop reading bfing sites, especially KellyMom, because I just freak out about totally screwing up bfing/feeding/my worth as a mother), it’s great that whatever we’re doing is at least keeping them healthy and growing. There are times when they’re screaming in stereo and I just want to run for the hills, but that’s twins. The rest of the time they’re completely adorable and sweet and very snuggly. Right now they’re *sooo* close to smiling — we get cute little wiggles and faces from them all the time. They’ll be five weeks tomorrow, so hoping for smiles in the next couple of weeks!

        • L

          My mom dropped me on my head as a kid and I turned out to be a successful overachieving woman, so I think as long as you’re feeding your kids you’re going to do just fine :). Congrats!!

          • Brit

            +1
            I stepped on my brothers head and I mean for a brother he’s okay but my mom seems proud of him :-)

        • mascot

          Are you feeding your babies in some fashion? Yes (and quite well from the looks of it). Then you are doing your job. End of discussion. BFing for me was also a struggle and no amount of work on my end was going to make up for my body’s limitations. As encouragement my lactation consultant told me, for purposes of antibodies and immune system, even a small amount of milk gets the job done. It’s not as if they get super-powers from the additional ounces. So even a few drops is still great.

        • Anon

          There’s way you much pressure out there about breast feeding, and new studies that show it makes no difference. Give yourself a break, do formula and don’t worry, your kids will be absolutely fine.

        • PA

          Hey – so I really, really struggled with BF. My secret regret – I spent the first two months of my daughter’s life in pain, and had mini-panic attacks every time she needed to feed (which happens a LOT those first few months). I feel like I missed some special, sweet bonding time b/c it was so, so difficult to feed her. I am now pregnant with my third, and my husband and I have already agreed that we won’t force it again. I want to enjoy snuggling while feeding my baby and reaping the benefits of that bonding time, rather than being borderline afraid of my child and crying the entire time she fed.

          Enjoy the time, and do what you need to do.

          • TBK

            We’ve switched to exclusively bottle feeding — whether that’s bre@st milk or formula, depending on how much I can pump that day — and it’s made things so much better. It used to be a 2 hr extravaganza of pillows and positioning and trying to feed one baby while keeping the other from rolling off the sofa, or trying to feed them both at once, or feeding one while the other screamed. Then we had to give them each a bottle to top them off because I wasn’t producing enough. Then we’d have to do it all over again in an hour. Now I stick them in their rock n plays or their car seats, pop a bottle in each mouth, and we’re done in 20 minutes. When my husband is around, we each take a baby and get some snuggles in while feeding. It also means I don’t have to be present for every feeding and it means my MIL can feed them, too (which she enjoys). If one is awake and fussy and the other is napping, I’ll sometimes bre@stfeed him for a bit instead of pumping, but it’s now relaxing and pleasant instead of being horribly stressful and frustrating (for all three of us). But for heaven’s sake, don’t call it “mixed feeding” or “supplementing with formula” because that’s apparently evil and the path to exclusively formula-feeding, which is bad bad bad.

          • Lyssa

            Word to that – I had so much more fun and better bonding with my baby when we decided that supplementing with formula was OK and not a last ditch effort, and even more fun when we started weaning off of bm all together. I’m still on the fence about whether I’ll do it again, but I won’t get worried if it’s not working out.

          • PA

            @ TBK – “2 hr extravaganza of pillows and positioning” makes me laugh and brings back BAD memories – and I only had 1!!! Sounds like you are doing amazing – bringing down your stress and attenuated fatigue, letting others snuggle and feed them, and allowing you to have the much needed break, perfect recipe for success. Don’t let stupid anonymous or sanctimonious websites tell you any different.

            @ Lyssa – “won’t get worried if it’s not working out” yes to this! I think BFing is something that occupies so much brain space at first or with the first, but ultimately, is such a blip on the long road of making choices for your child that make the most sense for your family.

          • JJ

            TBK, good for you! I fought and fought and fought nursing with my firstborn and the first two months I was an emotional, crying mess. Once I finally got nursing down and accepted that supplementing with formula was ok, life improved markedly.

            Things were so much more relaxed with my second and from the start, I let my husband give the baby a formula bottle (if I had not pumped enough that day) in the early-middle-of-the-night feeding so I could get a stretch of sleep longer than 1.5 hours. I’ve now realized, after dealing with several health issues with my first born that formula versus nursing is such a small blip on the radar of choices that you’ll have to make for your kids. As long as they’re getting fed and loved, who are we to judge?

          • kc esq

            I exclusively pumped for my twins (and then supplemented with formula at nights). It made the feedings easier and transitioning back to work easier. And my babies are little chubsters. I highly endorse it!

        • Corporate Cowgirl

          Awww twins! You are so lucky! Twins run in my family so I was kinda hoping to have them, as it’s like two slices of your favorite pie!

        • MegB

          Please, Please don’t stress about Breast feeding twins! I had twins with my second pregnancy and managed to BF for about 3 weeks, maybe 4. Then I was supplementing and stopped completely by 5 weeks. My daughter wouldn’t take a bottle at all if she thought the real thing might be around, literally she would scream right through a feeding till the next one. Her brother was willing to take a bottle but then I was sure I was giving them lifelong issues by nursing her and bottle feeding him. Twins are hard enough, add in hormones and judgmental web sites and it will make you insane. Just do what works for you and your babies. Mine are 11 now, none the worse for formula. Good luck!

        • MU JD

          So glad everyone’s doing well and growing quick! My boys got pumped b-milk and formula until they were 8 weeks, then formula exclusively after that. They are teenagers now and it doesn’t seem to have made a difference one way or another. The fact that they are well fed and happy is all that matters.

          And keep in mind, this all gets so much easier with each month. By the time my boys were 1, the whole twin thing was pretty much a piece of cake.

        • Anonymous

          Ditto to the comments above re relaxing on the Bfeeding. My first nursed well but I always gave her one bottle a day from day 1 and she never suffered any confusion. My second just couldn’t get the hang of it and was failing to thrive on BFeeding. I just read about a study that found preemies actually do better if given a supplemental bottle because it gives them the strength they need when they may not have the energy to do sufficient BFeeding.

    • NOLA

      I don’t know how many times we’ve heard that there are no good forums out there about pregnancy, parenting, working moms. I’m not a mom (and I’ve never been bothered by that talk here) but I’m SO happy for all of you. I passed on the info to my colleague who has two little ones and wants to have a third. She was excited!

      And congrats to Kat!

      • kjoirishlastname

        I agree. I spent a LOT of time on babycenter, and formed some unique relationships with the women from the May 2008 birth club (my firstborn’s “birth club”) and a sub-group that we formed via pumping at work. So, the pumping mamas were helpful about work/life balance, but it seemed that a lot of the other ladies were SAH types. I feel like thissite takes things to a totally different level. Part of it because we’re interacting with women who AT LEAST have a bachelor’s degree. Most with a master’s or JD. Or other. There’s just a different feel of the community when you’re dealing with highly-educated folks. For me, thissite is more about MY life balance & work than it is about my kids, and that’s OK. I do get (and give) kid advice here, but I usually come here more for general camaraderie than mom-venting. But I don’t feel ostracized for mom-venting here, either.

        It’s a great mix.

          • JJ

            I think she’s implying that BabyCenter users might err towards not having bachelor’s degree. Which I would have to believe is true..based on the lack of readable English and overuse of emojis on those boards.

          • Orangerie

            That article was interesting; thanks for sharing, Wildkitten.

            I still think the original comment was pretty class-ist, and I say this with no skin in the mommy wars game (both my parents worked & I don’t want kids).

          • Garanimals for work (esp. travel)

            I know several stay-at-home JDs and an MD. And I know working mothers who went to a community college.

            The big divide with SAHMs and me is that I can’t meet them at the park at 3 on Tuesday. And my children don’t know their children very well b/c they go to the 1/2 day during-the-school year preschool and mine are in day care. I think if they were at home with a nanny they might have more playdates in the park, but my SAHM friends don’t hang with other people’s nannies usually.

            If I waited tables or worked at the grocery store (still), my work problems would be both harder (money even tighter! and harder to find day care if you work nights) and easier to solve (there’s always another of these). Not a lot of movement potential for some of us.

          • Dowager Dutchess

            @Orangerie. This is literally an entire website dedicated to classism.

          • Wildkitten

            I found the pew study fascinating because when I read that fully 1/3 of mothers with kids under 18 are SAHMs my reaction was “Who is so rich they can be a SAHM?” and then when I saw the details I realized the question is “Who is so poor they have to be a SAHM” and the real issue is how unaffordable child care is in the US.

          • WestCoast Lawyer

            The fact is that it’s often easier to relate to other women in similar circumstances. I know JDs who are SAH and working full time. I am good friends and value my relationships with all of them. But when discussing what to do when daycare calls to say the baby is sick and needs to be picked up and my husband and I both have critical meetings scheduled for the afternoon the ones who are no longer practicing really don’t have much advice to offer.

          • Stormborn

            This website is for overachieving chicks, not chicks who are a certain class. A woman who starts as a cashier at a chain resturant and quickly becomes the manager. The woman who owns her own business. The woman who is a grade school teacher volunteering in her off hours and serving on education boards? Overachiever. The comment was completely classist. And if someone has to have a degree to be your friend, you are missing out.

          • Orangerie

            @WestCoast Lawyer, I totally understand where you’re coming from. But your comment is not one in the same with: “I feel like thissite takes things to a totally different level. Part of it because we’re interacting with women who AT LEAST have a bachelor’s degree.”

        • Garanimals for work (esp. travel)

          Maybe not classism? I think of BigLaw and BigCareers like an NFL-gig: good, but not sustainable. Meanwhile, it’s a game like any other (college admissions? preschool admissions? online dating?). Throwing a spouse / children into the mix seems to up the odds that it all comes crashing down in a disorderly fashion sooner rather than later. Don’t hate the player . . .

        • kjoirishlastname

          eww, not at all. That wasn’t worded well. My bad. I’m not trying to be classist at all. By all means, I’m firmly rooted in the middle-class. I remember some of the discussion toward the end of the year, and just watching my mouth drop open when some of you were discussing your year-end bonuses. Getting bonuses more than what I earn in a year.

          In my own limited experience, the vast majority of mothers that I interacted with on babycenter did not have fulltime out-of-home jobs, nor did they have degrees. That’s obviously not to say that it is the norm, or the exception.

          What I meant to stress is that it is an entirely different set of beliefs/views/input that I get from thissite as opposed to babycenter. I think in part BECAUSE of the type of woman who is drawn to thissite. I am not corporate, by any stretch of the imagination.

          What Garanimals said is what I feel every day: I can’t meet the moms from school. I think it’s a bit of a different game with one kid in public school, but my youngest son is in a preschool, and the majority of mothers of his classmates are SAH. I don’t know but a few of them, simply because our nanny is the person who does drop-off & pick-up. I don’t have the job flexibility to do the kid-schlepping, and so I feel a real disconnect from the school-parent crowd. I feel it with the public school, too. I feel terribly elitist when I talk about “our nanny” too, but she’s cheaper than daycare for us. Literally. I think that the negotiable nanny world is the best-kept secret. You can’t really negotiate rates or flexible time with a daycare center. Because of my work & its long & often odd hours, a regular daycare center just wouldn’t work for our schedules. Yet, our nanny is flexible with us. She worked late on Monday, in exchange for having Tuesday and Wednesday mornings off (I took my youngest son to preschool at 9, she picked him up at 1230 and started her workday). She does do playdates with preschool & school friends, but not with our family’s circle of friends (we have a circle with kids, but they don’t go to school with our kids; and we’re not really good friends with the parents of the school kids, but our nanny does coordinate with them)

          There was an article that I read (a blog post, really) about trying to get everyone to just join hands and sing kumbayah. Quit competing, and stop judging. I try really hard not to judge because I have no idea what led everyone to the position they’re in currently. I get frustrated because I can’t participate in the PTO stuff, or classroom volunteering, because I just don’t have the job flexibility. It is frustrating for me that other moms know my son, but I don’t know their kids.

          I really didn’t mean to sound elitist or classist, or that SAH or WOH is better or worse or harder or easier than the other. Because the truth is, it isn’t. It’s hard no matter which way you cut it. I miss my kids every second of the day, but I rejoice the moment they’re upstairs asleep in their beds and I can have a moment to myself. I want to stay home with them so badly sometimes, but I also view my time at work as respite from them.

          I’m backpedaling, I know, and I feel like I’m doing a bad job of trying to explain why I like thissite better than babycenter. I honestly think it is because of the sheer volume of intellect and worldview. For me, babycenter is about babies and kids, with a smidge of “other life” thrown in. Thissite, for me, is about life, work, balance, fashion & finance (and everything else) with some kid stuff thrown in. It is categorically different, and at this stage of my life, I appreciate this site more than babycenter. BBC was great for when I wanted to know what people were feeding their kids, or how to consolidate naps. But I don’t need that level of detail in parenting advice/comment anymore. However, I do need (want) to know what other moms/families are doing for disciplining their older children, especially when traditional methods don’t seem to be working. Oh, and where do I get a pair of comfortable heels.

          That is my life stage right now, and thissite is more useful to me now than BBC is. Maybe you could say I’ve outgrown BBC. It absolutely has its place, and I have a great deal of nostalgia and gratefulness for its role in my life up to this point.

          I don’t know. I still feel like I’m failing to explain well.

          • Stormborn

            Yikes dude. You are not explaining well. You have a cut off for what you think makes an intelligent person based on degrees. Do you know how many idiots have degrees?And just because you are firmly in the middle class doesn’t make you not classist.

            Also I recommended this site to my best friend. Who does not have a college degree, but does run her own business. A really successful business. Honestly your comment, especially with the caps lock on for at least, is one of the snobbiest comments I have read on this site.

          • JJ

            Not to start a tempest in a teapot, but there is literally nothing offensive about her comment. At all. I think you have to willfully misconstrue what she said about degrees and Babycenter (and not be familiar with the Babycenter boards) to take offense.

          • Orangerie

            JJ, I disagree. The degree bit was really unnecessary. Had the comment said “thissite takes it to a different level because most of the moms also work full-time/long hours/out of the home,” then yeah, nothing offensive. But that’s not what it said.

          • JJ

            Orangerie – I see your point. I disagree (obvi), but I do get what you’re saying.

          • Samantha

            I understood your first comment, kjoirish, and I think you explained what you meant very well in your second comment. It didn’t come across as elitist to me.

            I, too, am in that stage where I don’t need blow-by-blow baby info (he’s spitting up! he’s not sleeping! what can I give him for colic?) but I do benefit from learning how other working moms with busy schedules manage to juggle their responsibilities and what trade-offs they make. I also like that the focus is broader here and not so baby-centric.

          • snowy

            I think it’s hard to argue that this site does not cater to women of a certain class – when you’re advocating buying $1200 suits, is the “overachieving chick” who owns her own bookstore really going to relate to that?

            Similarly, I agree that babycenter/theknot/thebump etc tend to cater to women of a different class, whose struggles and goals can be very different from the types who are out buying $1200 suits. Is it classist to point that out?

          • Stormborn

            Its classist to point out that you only want to speak to people who have AT LEAST a bachelors degree, yes.

          • Garanimals for work (esp. travel)

            Y’all: can I offer you some punch? Or something? I still don’t know anyone with $1,200 suits. And I think that the degree is shorthand and not to be taken literally.

          • kjoirishlastname

            mmkay. I am going to try to preserve what shred of dignity I may have left.

            You all are right. There are plenty of idiots out there who have degrees. Of all sorts. There are also plenty of super smart folks without degrees. And everything in between. While my comment may have sounded like I judge (or include/exclude) based on level of education, I can assure you I do not. It was a broad generalization to assume that everyone on this site who reads & comments has a bachelor’s degree. Frankly, I don’t care if you do, or if you don’t. If you have something to say that is applicable to the situation at hand, it doesn’t matter–it’s a different perspective and that’s worthwhile to me. I simply assumed that readers of a blog/forum devoted to women in the corporate world would have a degree. That shows you how narrow my own world-view is.

            In my limited experience–let me also preface by saying that the community that I live in has a huge disparity of socio-economics and educational backgrounds. I don’t live in a big city, so my own perspective may be different than many. There are 40,000 folks here, by our census data, but the population ebbs & flows with the university. In 4 weeks, we’ll probably lose about 15,000-18,000 people who don’t call my town their year-round home (59% of my community is aged 18-24). My community has a large population of international students & families who come for the university, but it also has a large population of families who have been local for generations. And everything in between. And, if you take the university out of the equation, and just focus on the locals, we’re central Appalachia and everything that goes with it. Our community economics: average income is $20k less than the national average, and again, everything that goes with Central Appalachia.

            I really didn’t mean to use degree as an indicator of intellect. Correlation does not equal causation. If degree = intelligence, I wouldn’t be having such a hard time trying to communicate my point, nor would I have planted my foot so firmly in my mouth.

            The point I was trying to make, and failed at making, is that babycenter, to me, is very one-sided and unilaterally-focused, whereas this site is not. I believe that part of the reason for this is due to the diversity of world experience and education (of all sorts) of the ladies on thissite. That is not to say that BBC (or others) does not have worldly and educated women who are equally outspoken about unlimited topics. However, in my own experience, limited though it is, as I have stated, the perceived (by me) level of intelligence, thoughtfulness, ability to agree to disagree, eye-opening, upwardly-mobile, career-balancing, motivation, drive and all of those sorts of things is much greater here, than on BBC. It is just different. For me, from my perspective, thissite tends to project a much higher level of education, grasp, tolerance, diversity and critical thinking than BBC. Both in Kat’s posts, but also in the discussion that ensues, related to the posts or not. I have gained more about life in general in less than a year from the diverse & varied opinions on thissite than I ever did on the nearly 3 years that I spent on BBC. Even when I branched beyond the “birth club” and into more special-interest groups on BBC, the perceived level of intelligence just wasn’t on par with thissite. I find myself forehead-smacking when someone mentions something mind-blowingly accurate/smart/witty/eye-opening here, and it happens a lot more often than it ever did on BBC. It is a different target audience, and therefore a different demographic who patronizes the sites, and it isn’t good or bad, it is just different. I find my ability to relate to women on this site comes very naturally.

            The trials and tribulations of these groups who relate to thissite, or to BBC are different, but they are always similar, regardless of level of education or any other variable. Frankly, if we were going to be talking about relatability especially as it relates to economics and education, then I would probably associate less with this site than others, simply because a $1200 suit is out of the question for me, and I do not have a post-secondary degree. For the longest time I read without commenting because I felt so very classed-out. But as I continued to read the forum, I saw that the ideas expressed by all the women (and men??) on thissite were relevant, and decided to take the plunge and start interacting.

            I really don’t have an education bias…and I can’t believe that I was so clueless that I didn’t detect that in my statement. I was just trying to articulate why I like thissite and all that it has offered me.

          • Anonattorney

            I think you’re doing just fine, kjoirishlastname. There is a huge difference between issues facing stay-at-home moms and issues facing mothers who also are committed to building a career. Yes, a person doesn’t technically need a bachelor’s degree to be career-driven, but honestly, the number of women who only have high school degrees and have the same career concerns as the professionals on thissite are very few.

            It’s also not about money. You can still be focused on your career and make $40,000 a year. It’s about wanting to propel yourself in your profession because it (1) matters to you, (2) interests you, or (3) gives you a lifestyle that you want either while you are working, or once you retire. The reality is that if you are at all focused on a career, it conflicts with being a parent at some point. Having a forum that acknowledges those issues is going to be much more effective than one that caters to people who can always put family first.

            I know it’s not really what kjoirishlastname was talking about (although I agree with her also on the lack of depth and complexity of the discourse in the comments on places other than thissite). I just wanted to weigh in.

            I also don’t think it’s wrong to have an education bias. When did education become a bad thing? Yes, we have problems with access to education, so if someone does not have equal access then we should not penalize them for their lack of degree. And yes, some of our educational institutions favor certain types of learning styles to the detriment of others. But I’m never going to say that a college experience and degree is not worth it, (grad school, on the other hand . . . ) or not a sign generally that a person may have more exposure to more complicated thought processes and topics. (of course, you need to approach every person on an individual basis)

          • Silvercurls

            kjoirishlastname @ 1:34 p.m.: Thank you! I spent way too much time trying to defend you before finally giving up. (What, Silvercurls gave up on posting something?! That CRASH you just heard was the sound of thissite readers all over the country collapsing in shock. Even clutching one’s pearls was insufficient moral support against this blow to the sensibilities.)

            What I was trying to say was that the people on this site are thoughtful and articulate and almost always respectful of other viewpoints. (Okay, we all have our bad days. It’s hard to be human and impossible to be perfect.) It’s a pleasure to visit here! Credit goes to Kat for creating this site to welcome readers and their discussions several times a day.

            Sometimes “having a BA” gets said as to quickly communicate “being a thoughtful person who takes an interest in the world beyond her desk or kitchen table.” Unfortunately, at other times “having a BA” is used as shorthand for “being able to achieve a certain threshold level of workplace success, economic security, and all-around-good-citizen-ness.”

            It doesn’t help that U.S. society, past and present, combines fierce belief in our having no social classes with a) a sometimes foolish respect for economic achievement b) a partly hidden but longstanding disdain for intellectual activity–even though, especially in our current economy, the college degree leads more surely to the life of the mind than to a steady paycheck.

            Okay, I’m SURE that by now I’ve managed to insert at least ONE of my two feet into my mouth. Considering that my feet are also WIDE (yes, Ellen caps intentional) this is either a remarkable accomplishment or sad evidence of the fact that practice makes perfect. Either way it’s time to wish everyone a good day and SIGN OFF.

          • Anonymous

            To Stormborn’s point, the OP never equated having a degree with intelligence. You’ve just made that up.

            What she said was the site has a different feel….that can mean a lot of different things depending on the context. She has now clarified what she meant, so why not let it go instead of mischaracterizing what she said?

    • DontBlameTheKids

      Aaaaahhhh! I missed it too. So excited! Totally agree on DCUrbanMoms. OMG, that place will give you a complex and make you think your children are screwed if you can’t afford Cathedral, and it is all your fault!

      • TBK

        Right? I’ve never posted there myself because, geez, I place enough guilt on myself as it is without being told I’m basically letting wolves raise my children while they play with poisonous chemicals, but what is wrong with some people? It’s like the Above the Law commentariat became female and had kids. No thanks.

        • PA

          To the extent I read DCUrbanMoms, I usually read a significant amount of self-loathing into the comments. There is so much pressure to raise these perfect children, and to be a perfect Pinterest mom (still less pressure on dads), that I think people use the threads as a pissing contest to prove their own self-worth, a la the “I’m so busy” pissing-match thread of a few days ago.

          I used the site when we moved a few years ago to glean some insight into NoVa school districts. Usually there were a few good comments before it devolved into a cage-match of aggression about the impact of US News ratings, ESL students, gifted and talented programs, or whatever. I just read these as sad – people feels so insecure when others point out potential problems with whatever choice they’ve made for their child, that they just attack other perspectives. I never participated in the comments – and it’s a shame b/c there was some good info there, the people just couldn’t engage in any kind of polite debate.

        • PHX

          You know, TBK, guys in my high school had babies all the time. It was no big deal.

          (Happy to get your updates about the twins!)

      • DC Association

        DCUM is the worst. Unfortunately I feel like I have to read it, b/c I am PTA president at my son’s DC Public school, so need to dispel rumors and myths and also recruit. That’s the only board I read (DC public and charter schools). The sense of entitlement is disgusting. I honestly think it if the site actually required a person to create a user name (not necessarily a real name) it would change a lot.

    • Anon for Now

      I’m 6w preggo (early! i know. don’t get too excited, Anon for Now! i know. but SHEESH! I’m over the moon. and, petrified. really, really, petrified). I’m thrilled that C-moms is starting. But, I wonder, are there no other good blogs or sites that you ladies enjoy re: pregnancy or early momhood? I’m not a huge fan of babycenter – though I find some articles to be informative, and I hate (a lot) whattoexpect – I feel like it’s talking to me in a high-pitched, condescending voice like I am a child. A dumb one. Ick. I really don’t like it at all. If anyone has suggestions, I am all ears.

      • Meg Murry

        Alphamom dot com’s 0-40 is a good one, and the Advice Smackdown section on their site is good as well. Ask Moxie is good, although her kids are older now so the baby advice is most from a few years back. Work and pump dot com is good for specific info on b-feeding and pumping, and kellymom dot com is good for b-feeding.
        But there isn’t a good site aimed at working moms that I’m aware of, so I’m glad this one is starting!

      • kc esq

        Hellobee is another option — somewhat SAHM oriented, in my opinion, but not totally.

  3. Ellen

    Yay! I love Ann Taylor and this dress! Even tho it is a V neck, the V is not to deep, so Frank will realy have to look deep if he is mineing for boobie gold. I will ask the manageing partner if I can buy it, b/c I love the littel black dress look, and I should be abel to wear it into court, at least in the Summer. YAY!!!!

    I had a good talk with Lynn. She can realy eat! But anyway, I warned her about getting to close to Mason emotionaly b/c he is not yet mature enough to handel a real relationship. She said she understood, but she is also getting alot out of it. He is at least clean, she say’s, and he has not been with alot of women so she is abel to teach him thing’s, which he is very apreaciateive of. She does not think he want’s to marry her, yet, but she is hopeing that he will turn out positive, meaning that he will get addicted to what she does for him rather than goeing out and testing whether other women will do better for him, emotionaly as well as in the bedroom and the kitchen. She told me a few gross things about him which I will NOT share based on privacy reason’s but all in all, she could do alot worse, considering she does NOT have a college degree and is looseing her figure to quickley. FOOEY!

    I did warn her that she should get married while she is still cute, b/c once she get’s to porky (and over 30), w/o a degree that make’s her marketable in the busness world, guy’s will not want to marry her, or even have sex with her. She was very nice and thanked me for the pasta. She took some back with her and I saw Mason eateing it at around 5 yesterday. They are both back in and again she is weareing the same dress as yesterday, so she did NOT go home as I thought she would, but spent the night again with him. I hope this does not backfire on her. But we all have to live our lives, and now I have to find my OWN guy who will do thing’s for ME! YAY!!!!

  4. Lyssa

    I asked for vacation tips a while back, and, partially based on some suggestions received here, we’re going to San Juan in June. (Yay!) Whenever we travel, we like to find the best restaurant in the area to try out. Initial research shows a place called Marmalade as a top contender, but, unfortunately, it specifically requests no children, and we’ll have our 1.5 yr old with us. He’s really good in restaurants, so we’re fine with taking him somewhere that’s not explicitly kid-friendly, but will definitely respect a restaurant’s explicit no-kid wishes.

    So, any suggestions? We’re looking for somewhere upscale and foodie-oriented (though I’m definitely open to downscale great restaurant recommendations, too). Not picky about food-type, but bonus points for something that features local products or culture.

    TIA!

    • Cat

      when my husband and I were there 3 years ago, we went to Pamela’s, which is a beachfront restaurant that’s part of a little B&B. Tables in the sand, but the service and food (I got something with lobster that was AMAZING) were dressed-up and great.

    • Anon

      Dragonfly in Old San Juan – definitely upscale/foodie oriented (Latin-Asian fusion). But I’d go right when they open, and probably not on a Friday/Saturday, as it is dark and can get loud. I’d also check if they allow kidlets.

    • T. McGill

      Too bad — Marmalade was one of the best meals I’ve ever had. I went pretty early and it was empty, perhaps you can find out if they will waive the no-child policy if you do the first seating on a week day? On rare occasion, I’ve taken my toddler to nice, white-tablecloth restaurants that way and it works for us. But she is generally good in restaurants, so it might be a know-your-child kind of thing.

      I second the Dragonfly recommendation, but I think they are owned by the same people as Marmalade, so might be same issue.

      There was a Latin/Caribbean place in the El San Juan hotel that was also very good.

  5. Legally Brunette

    I know that a few of you write down daily what you wear to work. I have been doing this for the last 2 months on an excel spreadsheet and have found it so, so helpful. I don’t even consider myself to have a lot of work clothes, but I realized that in fact I do. I did not wear several outfits more than once during those 2 months, which was a wake up call for me to use what I own and stop buying more clothes that I don’t need. I have also become more adventurous in terms of mixing and matching new outfits and trying on new combos — seeing it in print helps me come up with new ideas.

    I also created a separate spreadsheet of my work wardrobe inventory and that has been pretty eye opening as well. My weakness is dresses (I own 13), and yet I don’t have a single pair of pants I can wear in the spring/summer. Good to know the next time I want to buy yet another dress.

    I have found both of these exercises very useful so I thought I would share!

      • Brit

        This is a great idea! I’ve been thinking that I need to expand my work wardrobe and writing it down makes much more sense then trying to remember what I wore with what before and what eel later I can pair it with.

      • Senior Attorney

        I’ve been keeping track of all the pieces I buy in 2014, and noting when I wear them and thence cost-per-wear. Very illuminating indeed!

        I also take outfit photos every day. Easier than actually typing in what I wear and this visual record is helpful in a lot of ways.

    • kjoirishlastname

      are you willing to email your spreadsheet? blank or otherwise? A) I would love to see what others wear to work, and B) that kind of organization really gets my Type-A self going.

      I’m very intrigued by this practice, and might start today!

    • HSAL

      I’ve been loving mine – I used Orangerie’s version (thanks again!) last fall and then modified for myself for 2014. I keep the outfits on one sheet and then my full wardrobe on the other, though I need to be better at keeping that up to date. I learned I might have ALL OF THE CLOTHES doing this. Kjoirishlastname, post an email if you’d like copies and I’m happy to send it to you.

      • kjoirishlastname

        kjoirishlastname AT the googlesmail

        Thanks a bunch! I sometimes try to remember to create a polyvore set *I’m ashamed to say that I love polyvore, but it has really REALLY helped me to expand outside of my comfort zone. Y’all too. Thissite has helped a bunch also.

      • MegB

        Oh, I’d love to see that too. My wardrobe is odd and disjointed at times and I am making a real attempt to pull it together. This sounds helpful! Could you send it to me too? dmbever (at) yahoo (dot) com?
        Thank You!

      • Brit

        Can I get an email as well please? I’d love to see something to get a rough idea of how others are doing this britbrit1228 at the gmail.

        • TT

          OH YES COME TO TOKYO!!

          seriously, it is such a well-kept travel secret. i am not sure how long you are planning to travel, but a week to ten days in Japan is perfect if you want city eating/drinking/shopping, countryside hot springs, and japanese tradition/culture.

          here is what you do.

          Days 1-4: fly to tokyo. check in. stay in tokyo for three days to shop, eat your face off, lounge in funky cafes drinking a latte with designs in the foamed milk that the barista has carefully inscribed for you, down cocktails in skyscraper top-floor bars. eat a skyscraper and stomp some citizens, maybe, if you’re still into that.

          Days 5-6 Take the train to a hot spring resort outside of the city. Hakone is a good option. Book for a mid-week discount rate to a swank traditional inn with in-room private spring. Check in. Put on your yukata robe, grab a cup of tea, and do nothing but eat and bathe for two days.

          Days 7-9 Take the bullet train to Kyoto. Check in. Book a bike tour of the city (Kyoto is flat, lots of small side streets with old shops, cafes and temples, plus old imperial hunting grounds and bamboo forest of Arashiyama is a 30min bike ride away). Have dinner in centuries-old Kyoto-style traditional restaurant. Go geisha-stalking in Gion. Next day, take a day trip to Nara (8th century temples, amazing) or Kobe (chocolate!!! or Arima hot springs) or a day hike in the Kyoto mountains. Come back late afternoon and have drinks on a patio overlooking Kyoto’s Kamo river. Frolic in evening.

          Day 10: Take a morning bullet train back to Tokyo, buy presents for everyone, stomp any remaining skyscrapers. Fly back to the US in late afternoon.

          There! Done.

          And you can do all of this for the same cost as a trip to the US or Europe if you know how to look around for deals. Especially now that the yen has decided to take a swan dive against the dollar.

          Tokyo hotels are cheaper on weekends; Hakone and Kyoto cheaper mid-week, so plan your bookings on that schedule. Try Rakuten Travel or Jalan or JapanICan for hotel and ryokan (traditional inn) discounts. For this trip, you won’t save with a Japan Rail pass, but try Sunshine Tours for cheap Kyoto hotel/bullet train packages. Try Odakyu Travel for Hakone itineraries. Not including flights, you could do this trip for around $2000 pp.

          JAPAN VACATION GOOD IDEA PLEASE COME.

          • Parfait

            Thank you for this itinerary! I am saving this because I desperately want to go.

            I will not stomp on anyone unless they are rude.

  7. Admin Day Gifts

    Apparently volunteering to organize your office’s admin professional’s day gifts is a great way to earn brownie points all around. All of the admin staff keep thanking me for our group’s gifts, and my boss pulled me aside to let me know our VP made a comment that she appreciated that I stepped up. Who knew buying cards and gifts could result in so much chatter?

  8. Branson?

    I’ve enjoyed reading all the travel info on Paris and Japan and other exotic locales. Meanwhile, my family is doing a reunion in Branson next month. The youngest “kids” are 30. The grandparents are in their 80s. (The location was their suggestion.) Anyone have any tips or suggestions for that area? My biggest struggle will be to not act like an urban snot, looking down on the folks who, you know, want to go to Branson. Thanks.

    • Anonymous

      Never been but I’m in MO so plenty of people I know have been – they all say alcohol helps! Good luck!

      • Sadie

        Think of it as learning another culture. Which, it really kind of is. You wouldn’t look down on people in another country that like/do/eat different things than you would. Try to adopt that perspective?

    • AnonInfinity

      My biggest tip is to, you know, stop being a snot who looks down on people? Maybe try thinking about what a good time the grandparents are having being surrounded by their families in a place they want to experience. Or be thankful that your family gets along well enough to travel together. It doesn’t say anything about someone’s character that they like going there.

      • Branson?

        Well, that was exactly my point. I don’t want to go into this saying there are no good restaurants or fun shows because it’s not a big city. I want to hear from people who have been there about fun things to do. There was no criticism of my family or anyone else who wants to go to Branson. I’m just saying it”s like going with friends to an action movie when you prefer comedies.

    • Anonymous

      Wikipedia indicates that Branson is nicknamed the “Live Entertainment Capital of the World”. They even have a “strip” like Vegas. Except they’re not Vegas, which everyone knows.

      Make yourself a Branson Family Reunion bingo card, and have a drink everytime you get a spot!

    • Anne Shirley

      Wikipedia tells me Branson has a half scale replica of the Titanic. This alone makes it worth a trip. Other people are there for the same reasons I imagine your grandparents selected it- ease of travel , plentiful cheap accommodations, low stress destination, and enough stuff to do to make it feel special. Not everyone can afford fancy travel, or wants a challenging experience outside their comfort zone. Sometimes all you want is your family and a really large ice cream sundae.

    • HSAL

      If you want to have a good time, go in with a better attitude about it. If you go in like an urban snot, you’re not going to have a good time. There’s lots to do there. When I was younger, my family went to Silver Dollar City (1800s-themed amusement park) most summers, so I recommend checking that out. And I second the rest of AnonInfinity’s comment.

    • Senior Attorney

      I would go to All The Tourist Things. Titanic replica, all the shows (it’s a big place for live entertainment, right?), the really large ice cream sundae, Silver Dollar City, and all that. I mean, if you’re gonna do it, you might as well Do It.

      • L

        +1 to the DO IT comment. Seriously, go big or go home. If it’s not your cup of tea just do it, smile, and think of the great stories you can tell after good people watching. And if it is your cup of tea, then good time all around!

      • Susedna

        I’m old, so I remember Yakov Smirnoff fondly. The collapse of the old Soviet Union unfortunately took a lot of oomph out of his career.

      • Rachelellen

        I remember Mike Myers spoofing him on Wayne’s World. Top 10 reasons we’re bummed about the collapse of the USSR or something. LOLS.

    • Branson?

      Thanks for the heads-up on Silver Dollar City — exactly what the kind of practical information I was hoping for. I have three guidebooks that I have been poring over, so I can plan some things that the family will enjoy but it’s always helpful to hear from real people.

      • Sutemi

        Also recommending Silver Dollar City, I could watch artisans blow glass for hours there though there was some cheesy stuff.

    • KS IT Chick

      Dolly Parton’s Dixie Stampede. It’s kind of silly, but you get a pretty good dinner while watching the show. The ostrich races are hilarious. It’s not cheap, but it is a reasonable amount of food with a show. Ditto on the Branson Belle paddle wheel boat out on Table Rock.

      At Silver Dollar City, the Festival of American Craftsmanship takes what is already a good time (particularly if you like roller coasters & other rides) to a new level. I know several artisans who do 2-week stints there during the festival.

      The Grand Palace has a constant rotation of country music acts through, and they’ll often have non-country acts playing. The schedule appears to include a one-night engagement for Bill Cosby, and another one for Three Dog Night.

      My husband & I (pre-buying-a-house) used to go down to the Branson area & camp at Table Rock, and we’ve stayed in reasonably-priced hotels. When the summer season heats up, 76 Country Boulevard does get jam-packed, so if you can find ways to not be on it and take other routes to get around, you’re probably better off.

  9. Senior Attorney

    Finally received Mr. Senior Attorney’s written discovery responses in the divorce this week, after months of waiting and a motion to compel. Most interesting tidbit from his credit card statements? He has been on All The Dating Sites, spending hundreds of dollars therefor, since, like, a month after I left. Ugh.

    In other news, we are actually going to have a mediation next week. Fingers crossed.

    • Dowager Dutchess

      That’s fabulous news though right? Aren’t you worried about alimony? Him finding someone else to marry would be the best for everyone concerned. Except maybe his new lucky lady.

      • Senior Attorney

        I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t marry again if he were receiving spousal support. But I am pretty sure there isn’t any spousal support in his future.

        I don’t want to say what it is, but I have had an idea of how this stupid case should settle since the day I left. It’s just the thing that makes sense, and it doesn’t include spousal support. I am just waiting for him and the lawyers to come around and realize it. Hopefully they will get there by next week.

    • preg 3L

      Glad the dating sites didn’t start before you left… Right? But ugh what a special little nightmare. Good luck at the mediation!!

    • Susedna

      ZOMG! No wonder we had an uptick in all these people complaining about crappy first dates from dating sites! It was the Soon-to-be-ex-Mr. Senior Attorney ALL ALONG! ;-)

      • Senior Attorney

        I know, right? That’s what I was thinking (and giggling about) when I read that thread yesterday! LOL

        I’ll tell you one thing… knowing he’s on All The Sites is definitely enough to keep me off online dating forever!

          • Anastasia

            Ha! Someone I’m very close tos got back together with an ex that was suggested for her on a dating site. They’d broken up about 10 years ago… they were fairly happy the 2nd time around for about 8 months, and then she realized he still had all the same issues that made her break up with him the first time.

          • Miss Behaved

            Hah. I can top that. My uncle says I pop up in his matches. Eww. That’s because men like to date much younger women.

    • anon

      You know, I think that’s the male version of cookies and wine. I’ve been shocked at how soon after a breakup men are online & have been burned by dating a few (they will obfuscate the length of time since their last relationship ended). They are no more ready than we are, I just think it makes them feel better.

    • KLG

      I hope he is actually willing to mediate and doesn’t just waste your time!!!! Fingers crossed.

  10. Woods-comma-Elle

    Just a quick shout-out to the number of lovely ladies who suggested Mystic, CT as a stop on the drive from Boston to NYC. My parents and I stopped there last week for a spot of lunch and it was absolutely gorgeous and all-around fabulous.

    THANK YOU!

    • Woods-comma-Elle

      PS. Also thank you TO Lawyer for the TO recommendations, we ultimately went to Canoe but I was actually a bit disappointed by the food, but rather the specific thing I ordered rather than generally!

    • (not s0) recent grad

      I’m so glad that you liked Mystic. I like it there too, especially when the weather cooperates! This reminds me that I’ve been meaning to ask if there are other Connecticut-based readers out there?!

      • anne-on

        I am! I’d love a CT-based meet-up. Though I’m much closer to Stamford than Mystic.

  11. Dating question

    What are some important things you all like to cover/think should be covered during the first few dates with someone? And are there any things that you think are completely off limits those first few dates? I’m back in the dating game but for some reason I feel completely lost as to what I should be talking about/whether I’m asking too many serious/personal questions (religion, politics, dating history, etc.)

    • Woods-comma-Elle

      It depends. On the one hand I think you need to get the big stuff dealt with right off the bat, but on the other hand, what is the point if you don’t even like their personality. For me, for example, the big difficulties are religion (I have none and would likely not be a good fit for someone who is practising, irrespective of religion) and children (I want none and don’t want to create illusions about it either).

      That said, I do think that these things often come out in the natural course and I wouldn’t worry so much about what is ‘off-limits’ or trying to ask the important questions when it’s just a first date/coffee etc. With online dating, I think it’s easier to weed out the ‘no-gos’ and ask the big questions before you even make a date with someone, but when it’s an IRL person, I’d be more inclined likely to go with the flow and it comes more naturally. If it doesn’t come naturally then, well, I frankly wouldn’t bother with too many further dates.

    • Dating

      First date- keep it light. Don’t make it sound like an interview.

      Are you a lawyer? Honestly, sometimes I find people reveal more when you let them talk, and ramble a bit. Like in a deposition, asking open ended questions often gets you things you didn’t even think of asking before. I know that sounds intense…I do think it becomes easier with practice.

      • OP

        I am a lawyer. And it’s funny because I often employ that strategy of open ended questions in any awkward social situation (not that a date is inherently awkward, but you know what I mean).

    • Baconpancakes

      By the end of the third date, you should know their views on a) religion, b) children, c) marriage intentions, d) general ambitions, e) 3 or 4 hobbies or pastimes, f) general political leanings, g) familial connections. It would feel forced to me to get all of these things out in the first, and maybe even second dates, but if you spend 6+ hours with someone you’re considering eventually marrying, these should come out. (Coffee dates don’t really count as fully fledged dates, IMHO.)

      • Wildkitten

        Whoa. That is a lot to know by the third date. Marriage intentions? That would totally freak me out.

          • Godzilla

            IF HE’S INTO YOU, HE’LL BRING UP ALL OF THIS AND MORE. IF YOU HAVE TO HUNT FOR INFORMATION, BOUNCE. YOUR TIME IS TOO VALUABLE.

      • Anon

        I find that the easiest, most natural way to get a read on some of these types of things is to start asking questions about the future generally (do you think you’ll stay at your job forever? do you think you’ll stay in [this city] forever?). It just seems chatty, but things like kids/marriage/ambitions/etc. usually end up coming out.

    • Godzilla

      CHILL. JUST CHILL OUT. STOP THINKING ABOUT EACH DATE AS AN AUDITION FOR MR. FOREVER.

      YOU TALK ABOUT YOURSELF AND HOW AMAZING YOU ARE. IF HE CAN COMPETE, THEN KEEP IT GOING. IF NOT, IT’S TIME FOR THE NEXT DUDE.

    • k-padi

      During a first date, I tried to answer the question: do I like this guy as a person? If I met him at some other function, would I want to talk to him or would he creep me out, insult me, or otherwise turn me off?

      • Anonattorney

        Yes! And – is he funny? Does he take himself too seriously? I think it’s more about personality, and not specific hobbies/likes or dislikes/politics/etc.

      • hoola hoopa

        Yes! And – is he funny? Does he take himself too seriously? I think it’s more about personality, and not specific hobbies/likes or dislikes/politics/etc.

  12. Anonymous

    Update for non-relationship threadjack! I am the one with the Man #1 and Man #2 issue yesterday. Met up with Man #1 and had a very good conversation, and he agreed not only that he would back off, but that we could still be friends/professional acquaintances (which cuts against what he had previously told me, where it was all or nothing). I was too worried for nothing, as it turns out he did some soul searching after Friday evening’s revelation and he sort of gets it. He is disappointed but he wouldn’t want to be with someone who was interested in someone else/connected to someone else more. I straight up told him that I appreciated everything about him as a person and I enjoyed having him in my life, he said the same, and we agreed to take some time to ourselves and then continue the friendship (which is great, especially given that we weren’t super seriously dating and he finally understood that I was serious with someone else).

    Thank you all for the advice and I couldn’t have asked for a better result.

  13. preg 3L

    I have a law school event tonight and the dress code is “cocktail or business casual.” I’m 2.5 months postpartum and basically nothing fits. I sprained my ankle last month so I still can’t wear heels. Also it’s a cool windy 50 degrees. What should I wear? Assuming I can find a way to fit into something, am I better off in: pencil skirt and blazer/cardigan (with boots) or a sheath dress (with flats) or …? I’ve been wearing dark jeans and I wish I could wear them… As a 3L with nothing to lose, would you wear jeans and boots and a blazer?

    • Moon Moon

      Sheath dress and blazer with flats sounds perfect. The blazer will counteract the cold, and it will look appropriately business casual — the blazer makes it more business, the flats more casual!

    • Bonnie

      Definitely no jeans with that dress code.

      The posted dress looks like a nice basic but I have been really disappointed with the quality of AT jersey lately.

    • k-padi

      Based on the “cocktail” attire at the last law school mixer I went to, I think you are fine in anything not super tight and with 3+ inch heels!

      I agree with sheath dress + blazer or cardigan + flats. In fact, that’s what I wore to the last mixer. :-)

      • Anonattorney

        Oh my god, seriously. What is with the tight clothes? I was shocked when I went back to my law school for a mentoring event last fall.

    • Samantha

      Style wise that sounds fine, but at 2.5 months per partum I don’t think a sheath dress would’ve flattered me – they tend to highlight non-flat tummies imo. Separates with a bold necklace or scarf or a bright colored printed top may be more flattering and forgiving.

  14. Job hunt in inter-connected field

    Advice for job hunting in a highly interconnected field? The head of my org is somehow connected to basically everyone in my field, and I am getting ready to start a serious job hunt (I am finishing an advanced degree this month).

    • Senior Attorney

      Ooh, nice! I like the “small square” — it’s a different look than the run-of-the-mill rectangular luggage tag. Ditto the round ones! And the colors are delish!

      • Parfait

        Agree, I like square or round. Rectangles are boring and the heart shape is just a bit much.

        I think I need a nice bright blue or purple square one for my bright yellow suitcase.

        • NOLA

          The only thing that I was concerned about with the square is that it won’t work with a business card (and the rectangular ones will). That said, since these are students graduating from college, it’ll be awhile before most of them have business cards!

          I’ve done card cases when I knew students were going to a job or internship. This year, I’m not sure. I figure everyone travels, right?

  16. cbackson

    So I never wear suits. But I kind of want to own one awesome, sharp suit in which I feel fabulous. I would be willing to invest to have something really fantastic, but I’m struggling to come up with options that are a step above JCrew, BR, etc. – I’ve just never really looked into women’s suits, and it seems like there aren’t a lot of places that a targeted to that market. Any thoughts/suggestions? Is there something super-obvious that I’m missing?

    • HSAL

      If you never wear them, maybe it would make sense to start out with some JCrew or BR and spend the extra money on getting it tailored perfectly to you. Then you’d be able to wear it and figure out just how often you can be a suit person, and upgrade later on.

      • cbackson

        I already have a tailored BR suit, so I’ve been down that portion of the road already – I’m ready for the step up.

    • Anon

      Nothing obvious that you’re missing (maybe Brooks Brothers, for quality, but their cuts are just wrong on me).

      If you can put in the homework (measuring yourself, measuring the clothing that fits you best, reading the listed item’s measurements very carefully), you might want to look at Arkris on e-bay. The fabric quality is amazing. [Their skirts are too slim for me to wear top / bottom in the same size, so I only have jackets, which I completely adore. Maybe you will be lucky.]

      Others may add in St. John or Reiss, but I haven’t ever even tried them on.

      • cbackson

        Yeah, BB just seems incredibly boxy every time I put it on. Hm, the Akris stuff I’m seeing is gorgeous…

        • Bonnie

          Take another look at BB. Their suits are boxy, but in my experience, their tailors are amazing and the in-house alterations are cheap. The quality is much better than Theory.

    • BB

      If you want something quite a step up, but not quite as spendy as Akris, try Paul Stuart. They run $1500-2000 for an off the rack suit (with tailoring) and more if you want to get made to measure.

  17. Anon

    My husband’s grandmother just learned that her cancer is back and this time it’s terminal. It’s really sad for the entire family because she’s been through so much treatment over the past two years. I haven’t heard anything regarding time frame. I would like to put together a little care package for her to let her know we are thinking of her. My mother in law said she would love some family pictures from our wedding. I immediately thought of one of those hard back photo books you can order online. But I want something that I can pick-up in the next couple days. Is there anyway I can get a hard back photo book made quickly? Or does anyone have any other ideas? I live in a major metro area if that helps.

    • L

      Costco has photo books (of course) and you can do it online and have it mailed out in about two weeks or pick up from a warehouse in about a week. That might be the quickest option short of uploading pictures and printing them at home on photo paper and creating your own actual photo album

    • Jaguar

      I think you can get these done quickly at a Walgreens. You could also rush ship something on snapfish, shutterfly etc. so sorry to hear this news for your family.

      • Senior Attorney

        I’ve had awesome experience with Walgreens online photo … uh, things.

    • Anon in NYC

      What about something Shutterfly? I know you can create hard cover photo books through the website, and I imagine the turnaround time can be pretty quick. I’m sorry to hear about your GMIL.

      • CKB

        My condolences to your family.

        I use Shutterfly semi-regularly, and I believe the turnaround for shipping to Canada is usually 2 weeks or so. It would be faster if you are in the US. I’ve always been happy with the quality.

    • Maddie Ross

      Shutterly is super quick – like a couple of days turnaround. They do have to ship it to you, but I think you can pay to expedite that, too.

    • anon

      try Pinhole Press – same fast turnaround, but much nicer in quality & more modern styles than shutterfly/walgreens, etc.

      • Anon

        Thank you everyone for the suggestions. I was just on the website for Pinhole Press and it looks like they do a great job. I used their chat function and the lady was very helpful. They said the photo book would be done in 3 days after I complete my order – perfect!

    • 3Lady

      Sorry for your family. I have had a book made and ready the next day from cvs. It was great quality and totally customized. Walgreens is probably the same, I made it online and picked it up in store.

  18. E

    Threadjack: Thoughts on keratin hair treatments?! I tried to search old comments but I didn’t see much.

    I’m thinking about trying keratin express first because I don’t want to spend $400 on a keratin treatment. I have long, wavy, medium thick hair that isn’t particularly frizzy but I straighten it nearly everyday for work if I don’t dry shampoo it. I’m hoping keratin would encourage me to just go with my natural waves, thus preventing/reducing damage from hairstyling. Sort of a hair detox.

    And any recommendations in the Chicago area?

    • roses

      I don’t have experience with keratin specifically, but I recommend going to see Kerri at Cellar Door Salon for your next haircut and discussing what course of action would be best for your hair type. She has lots of experience with different treatments for different hair types and can both advise you on whether keratin would be good for you and give you a haircut that makes styling as low-maintenance as possible. She did wonders for making it easier to style my mid-length super-thick hair.

  19. zora

    well i got a job offer just now!!

    Now I have to decide if I’m actually going to take it and I’m really torn. And I’m the most indecisive person ever in the history of the world.

    But it’s nice to be wanted!

      • zora

        haha this was the job i interviewed for a few weeks ago while I was still employed. But it is good timing. ;o)

        I’m feeling guilty about not wanting to take it though! I am seeing red flags of dysfunctional organization and of a crazy burnout job. And the money isn’t what I feel like I should be making at my age, even though it’s a raise from the previous job.

        But it is a nice “Talk to the Hand” to the people who laid me off!! Boom!

        • Meg Murry

          Are you getting/eligible for unemployment from the previous job? In my state you have to accept a job offer if given or you forfeit your unemployment benefits, unless the offer meets certain criteria (like more than XX miles from home, or pays less than Y% of the salary band for your category of work).
          Just something to think about, FYI

    • Silvercurls

      Can you take it, not get burned out, and use it as a short-term perch (maybe 1 year) before you resume a serious search to find something better? This way you continue networking for the next six months or so, but dial back the actual process of finding job listings to which to apply. You also get to relieve the short-term financial crunch of being unemployed.

      Balancing these factors is the question of whether or how much damage you might do to your longer-term plans by taking a professional pause or detour. I don’t know the answers to these questions. That’s where you need wise colleagues plus your own best judgement.

      Congrats either way. It _is_ nice to be wanted.

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