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Workwear sales of note for 3.24.23:
- Ann Taylor – 40% off everything
- Athleta – 20% off shorts, swim, linen & more
- Banana Republic Factory – 40% off everything; extra 15% off purchase
- Boden – Up to 50% off
- Brooks Brothers – Clearance styles to 70% off. Some pretty serious markdowns!
- Express – 40% off dresses & tops
- J.Crew – 25% off your purchase; up to 50% off special-occasion styles
- J.Crew Factory – Up to 50% off everything; extra 15% off 3 styles; extra 20% off 4 styles; extra 50% off clearance
- Sephora – Up to 50% off select beauty
- Talbots – 25% off select styles; 25% off markdowns
Some of our latest posts here at Corporette…
And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!
- What are your favorite parts of a typical day?
- At what point in your life (age, income level, whatever) were you able to take an annual vacation?
- What shoes can I keep at the office to go for mid-day walks (that go with everything)?
- How do you release stress or trauma that’s stored in the body?
- What are the best “networking for women events” you’ve ever been to?
- I feel like we’re burning through any savings we acquire…
- I hate my job and make 30% of what DH makes – should I quit?
- What do you keep in your office?
Afternoon TJ right off the bat. I know Anne Shirley, Diana Barry, and Marilla comment here frequent. And I’m sure there are other “Anne of Green Gables” fans here. So I just have to ask: what do you all think of the new edition of “Anne of Green Gables” with the blonde(!) Anne on the cover? Feels so wrong in so many ways to me.
Here’s a link to the cover for anyone interested. http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/2013/02/06/anne-of-green-gables-blond_n_2629993.html
Oh wow – that cover is all kinds of wrong.
Anne of Green Gables =/= a Hollister ad.
Love this handle – almost as much as I hate that book cover!
When I was little, I used to throw little tea parties with Cherry Kool-Aid playing the role of my “raspberry cordial.”
WTF. NOT OKAY.
I HATE IT! Sorry for the Ellen caps but seriously – Anne of Green Gables is not blond, she is younger than the model and is not supposed to be a sex symbol. There are multiple places in the book where her red hair is referred to – this just seems totally wrong. (Plus the Canadian in me makes me hate it even more).
Saw that elsewhere – also, it’s a complete miss on the era of clothing. I’m also wondering what the back-of-book synopsis got wrong, if the cover was this wrong.
I’ve got to wonder if the person who did the cover even attempted to read the book.
This too! I was so mad I forgot to mention it. The plaid button-down is more like 40s or 50s at the earliest, not the 1890s!
It looks like she got it at American Eagle. Like first Matthew caved on the puffed sleeves, and next stop was the mall.
Agree. Being a redhead is so much of her identity, and the clothes are just way wrong. Ugh. HATE THE COVER.
But there is a whole slew of book covers that are done by people who seem to have never read the book, and who don’t pay attention to the details. I believe this includes most covers of most fantasy and sci-fi novels.
Ha ha. I’ve read all of the books and I don’t remember her ever pining for a plaid shirt.
AWFUL! Her being a redhead (and hating it) is such an important part of who she is that I can’t believe the cover has her as a blonde.
I did hear on the radio last night that this cover was only being sold on amazon.com, but I”m not sure if that’s true.
Um….WRONG on so many levels….I also feel that photo s*xualizes her in a way that is completely inappropriate and unnecessary.
That’s totally unacceptable!!
WTF?!?!?! She’s got red hair, and as I recall, she wasn’t a pretty child, especially compared to Diana Barry. Those experiences were absolutely formative to her character and the way she saw herself. She’s not a pretty blonde. What the what???
OMG WHAT IS THIS I CAN’T EVEN!
SHE LOOKS LIKE A SWEET VALLEY HIGH GIRL!!!
Ha! Sweet Valley High is exactly what came to mind as well.
Yep, that was my thought, too. So wrong.
Wrong, wrong, wrong. Offensively so. Apparently, the seller gets to sell it because the book is out of print, so that’s his/her only contribution.
good lord. the rest of the slideshow is pretty ridiculous, as well…i snorted at the cover of herland.
Giraffe with curls
I know, right? All the Twilight-esque rip-offs….advertising Wuthering Heights as Bella and Edward’s favorite book just about sent me over, and I don’t even like Wuthering Heights.
Um…. UNACCEPTABLE. It looks like the cover to some modern Texas cowgirl teen romance. And this is going to make the Gilbert/”Carrots!” scene highly confusing.
OH HELL NO
Indeed, the books always emphasized that she was a redhead and allegedly odd-looking. This happens all the time, though: a female character from history or fiction suddenly has to become a s*xpot when the story is translated for pictures or film. It just doesn’t compute that audiences should care about–or, really, even have to look at–a woman who couldn’t pass for a model.
Well said, Monday.
Giraffe with curls
Agreed. This is also in the same line as what TV/movies always do when they want to “makeover” an “ugly” girl – she starts out with curls and then has them straightened. Poof – beautiful!
+1. After spending decades looking for women with curly hair on the covers of fashion magazines, I finally gave up.
P.S. I love your blog name.
This is what happens when the film and TV industry is mostly run by middle-aged and older male execs trying to sell product to teenage and 20-something men who read FHM and Maxim.
This always confuses me. How can someone so completely and totally miss the point? It reminds me of the Stacy Schiff Cleopatra bio that recently came out to such acclaim. Much of the book focuses on the fact that Cleopatra was not a particularly beautiful woman but rather someone who was short and plain with a prominent nose and a weak chin who used her brains and charms to conquer half the the world, and, of couse, who should be the first person to get mentioned for casting when the book gets optioned but Angelina Jolie? Does anyone even read these things anymore? Honestly.
You know, the more I think about this, the more troubled I am by the publisher’s implication that the only way to get teen girls to read classic literature is to put s*xpot on the cover.
Don’t get me wrong, I read plenty of cruddy stuff as teen. (OMG! “Flowers in the Attic”. I need brain bleach just thinking about it). But I, and most of the people I knew, could and did read classic books without a s*xy sell.
It’s not totally clear if the text is the same or “updated.” If it’s not updated, then wtf? (Even if it’s updated, the hair thing is just weird and wrong.) It absolutely has to be set around 1900, otherwise the whole puffed sleeve issue doesn’t make any sense whatsoever (nor does everyone riding around in horse-drawn vehicles).
Why would want to “update” the text of a classic and why?
Adapted (read ddumbed-down) classics are one of my pet peeves.
I could not for the life of me get into that book, but that cover is offensive even to me.
We do not approve.
Mrs. Rachel Lynde
I saw that and Slyvia Plath’s new cover. And then my SO had to listen to a 20 minute rant about how they are killing good books
Anon in DC
I’ve been reading Anne of GG aloud to my red-headed daughter this winter (just like my mama read it to me!), and that cover is beyond ridiculous. I’m sputtering.
SO WRONG. I went into my neighbour’s office yesterday and was so outraged (in which she joined me) that I had to apologize for spitting a little when I was talking because it was SO RIDICULOUSLY WRONG. WRONGWRONGWRONGETYWRONG.
Reposting… Any brands of compression socks you’d recommend? Where did you buy them? Need them for flying while pregnant – I have heard they help reduce the risk of blood clots
I have these now for sports and heart them.
I wore Jobst ones for a while for other issues. No where near as comfortable.
I have Dr. Scholl’s QTTO sleep socks, which are basically compression thigh-high socks.
I was going to suggest Dr. Scholls. I wear them for my part time retail job because standing up for long periods of time is seriously killer.
I wear the knee high kind that I get at CVS. Not sure the brand, I don’t think there were a lot of choices though. I’ve had mine for a while since I have a history of blood clots so whenever I travel more than about an hour I go ahead and put them on.
Giraffe with curls
I just bought whatever my CVS had too for flying while pregnant. Worked great and I continued to wear them occasionally for the rest of my pregnancy!
Thanks everyone! Are the CVS/pharmacy brands “graduated compression”? Apparently these are better for pregnancy travel than regular compression. Not that I know what that term means :-)
I bought mine after a bad sprain at a medical supply store (that would also sell crutches, bedpans, etc). They had a better range of products than the local drug store, even if it is a tad depressing to have to buy clothing in such a store.
Just wanted to recommend these boots: http://www.landsend.com/pp/womens-powder-belle-booties~243121_-1.html
I bought them a few months ago and I LOVE them. I get compliments all the time. They’re snow boots (and very warm), but cute enough to be part of an outfit. They’re short, so obviously not good for when there’s a foot of snow on the ground, but for day to day winter wear they’re perfect.
TJ on two topics
1. Freezing your eggs: I *know* there was a lengthy discussion about this sometime back, can anyone point me to it or has anyone done this and willing to share their experience? I just turned 36 yesterday and tick tock.
2. I am finally breaking down and getting a cleaning lady (my super’s wife). I read the old post on this but there wasn’t a ton of discussion on costs. For a small NYC one bedroom, what am I looking at in terms of price? Any tips on frequency?
no idea on 1. on 2, I’m in SF not NYC so not sure the rates compare, but I pay $120 a clean & have a 2.5 bedroom place w 2 baths. I like once a week cleans personally. It’s probably more than I need, but everything is always clean & nice & I like it that way and am willing to pay to have my home always feeling nice.
Try searching in google: site:corpor-e-t-t-e.com “freezing eggs”
That should bring up the previous few times it’s come up (and I think possibly even there was a whole post about it).
Not in NYC, but I have a 2-bedroom apartment with a cleaning lady who comes every 2 weeks for 3 hours. It seems like the perfect amount of time. I go through a service, so they send me an invoice with the hours and it’s never gone over. Think about whether you’re comfortable with the super’s wife having that access to your apartment, though (if they’ll use that time to inspect or check up on you or so..).
Parker - Boardroom Belles
I pay $ 70 for a one-bedroom in NYC. It’s a company and they have pretty good customer service. I like that by paying a company, I don’t have to hassle with insurance or benefits myself. I can also re-schedule at short notice and its usually accomodated.
Alanna of Trebond
I like the Get Maid App. I think it’s $45/hr, and we rarely need more than 1.5 hrs in a 1 bedroom. They come when you click “go” on the app–so you don’t need to schedule at all.
I am in NYC. I pay my cleaning lady $65 per visit and she comes in every two weeks. One bedroom in a midtown Manhattan high-rise.
What are the downsides to doing the 10-year public interest student loan forgiveness program? I have over $100K in loans, and expect to earn only approximately $40K upon finishing my graduate program next year. Assuming a get a qualifying government or non-profit job, I plan to apply for the 10-year loan forgiveness option of paying my loans. Since this program is so new, I cannot seem to find much about the cons (the pros are obvious!) of doing this. Does anybody have thoughts on this, or an idea of where I can find accurate information?
I *heard* that the program was currently unfunded due to budget concerns . . . not to be debbie downer.
where did you hear that? That is not true at all to my understanding.
Cons – the program might not be around in 10 years to forgive your loans. But if you’re already stuck with them, you’d be no worse off, right?
You can end up worse off, because for most people the balance on your loans continues to grow, since the payment (based on income) does not even cover interest in many cases.
I am just crossing my fingers that the program will be around, the tax issues on the forgiven amount will be worked out and that everything will go smoothly when the time actually comes. (famous last words, right?)
Downside – only applies to public loans, not private.
Caveat – that’s how it was initially. Just double check what it applies to.
Parker - Boardroom Belles
Also, if she could have a job in the private sector that pays her double or 2.5x of what she’s making, she might not even have student loans ten years down the road or at least will have been able to substantially reduce them.
My loan amount is growing under IBR, so I will def be worse off if in 1o years if they don’t forgive. By then I’ll prob owe 1/2 million dollars. I would sue and I am guessing many, many others would too so there’s that at least
I looked into this and was told one of the only cons (other than the government changing its mind are)
1) If the amount that is forgiven is taxable income, you could have a huge tax liability the year they are forgiven and;
2) If you want to invest in real estate, only paying (less than) the interest rate on your current loans won’t look good for your credit score or to a bank for loaning to you, and saying “but it is going to be forgiven” may not fully alleviate their concerns
It’s not taxable income under public interest loan forgiveness. It IS taxable income under the 25 year IBR/ICR forgiveness.
I’m doing this — I’m only 6 months in, but I’m crossing my fingers that it’ll be around for another 9.5 years. I don’t really have another choice as someone with $160k+ (and climbing) in law school loans and a $50k job.
And I just bought a house. A small house, relatively inexpensive, but we still qualified.
We were able to buy a house also. It took some paperwork to show what our payment actually is on the student loans, rather than just looking at the total balance. (Which made our debt-to-income ratio bad.) Some banks were not willing to look beyond simply the loan balance, however.
Be aware that if you get married and file your taxes jointly, your payment amounts may increase significantly because they will be based on your combined income.
A friend and her fiancé have been going back and forth on deciding how to file because of the benefits you get from filing jointly versus the increased IBR payments once her public interest salary is combined with his biglaw salary.
This is a good point. I decided against doing income based repayment (which was only 50 dollars a month lower than my other option) because I plan to get married in the near feature and my income will more than double.
And that’s when my part-time working, caring for baby husband’s low income was so helpful. That, plus baby knocked my $800 pymts down to $400 and I’m working for the govn’t. That’s what I try to remind myself of when I remember just how much I owe.
Skin around the eye advice?
Do you just put the same lotion you use on your face under/above your eye as well? Do you use lotion with SPF and do you put your RetinA there too?
I was realizing that I always avoid my eye area with both my SPF lotion and RetinA thinking that was too harsh, but maybe that’s a mistake. Glancing at eye creams etc.. .(which many say are unnecessary) almost none of them even have SPF so maybe I just assumed that’s what I should do. Any thoughts?
Oh how funny, I was wondering about the Retin-A this morning. Under my eye/around my eye is forever getting this tiny red dot rash that burns when anything touches it. I’ve wanted to do SPF or Retin-A there for a while, but am concerned that anything will make the rash come back.
Basically, I don’t know the answer to your question, but I will be watching this thread!
I’ve read that one is not supposed to put Retin A around the eyes but I have for years. I’ve not had any problems with it. I do have crows feet though so I’m not sure if it helped at all. Maybe they would be worse if I hadn’t been using it for years? Ugh, who knows…
I use an eye cream by Neutrogena. I let it sink in for a few minutes and then I just put my regular moisturizer (with SPF) over my entire face and eye area.
I use some Garnier spf 15 eye cream for the day, and Estee Lauder eye cream at night (preventative as I’m only 25 and probably won’t get crows feet anyways, but what not?)
I don’t think there’s any call for a separate eye cream. You DO want your SPF around your eyes – sun damage contributes to dark circles as well as wrinkles.
That said, I am forever getting sunscreen in my eyes and weeping bitter tears.
Advice TJ: I’ve been working on a great new research project for a little while now, and it’s been wonderful for my professional development. Our team is small, so I’ve gotten to take the lead in a lot of places, try new things, and drastically expand my skillset. The only wrinkle is that my team is basically just my boss and myself most of the time, and while he is extremely supportive of me in all of this, he is much more well known in this particular project’s field – and most assume I’m an intern or assistant, due to my age. (Most of them would be shocked to know how much I do.) My other senior colleagues encourage me to build relationships with journalists and other researchers in the field and assume I’m constantly fielding speaking requests, but all the journalists etc just want to talk to our boss… which he encourages because it’s “easier”. I took on this project partly because he said I would build connections in the field, and I don’t want to seem ungrateful for this great opportunity, but I don’t know how to network when people treat me like my boss’s assistant.
Context: He is well-known in the field due to general name recognition and existing relationships, not (and not to be unkind) due to deep experience with the topic. And in other projects, working with other colleagues, I *have* been treated as a “go-to” person on the subject, so it’s not unprecedented.
Can you just ask him? Say “I realize it’s easier for you to field the speaking requests, but this is something I’d really like to add to my resume.” Maybe identify one or two that make sense — e.g., they’re local, they’re focused on exactly the issues you’ve been working on — and propose that you do those two. (Even better — see if there’s one that would be inconvenient for him to do. During a time he plans to be out of town, or very busy on something else.) Point out that having you known in the field would be beneficial to the entire team and would raise everyone prestige/profile. But for goodness’s sake, do NOT just wait to be invited to do these things. If you want it, make sure you ask for it.
I’ve asked for more press work repeatedly in the past (in the context of benefitting the project, not my own advancement), and he has ignored most of my requests (busy, traveling) or said that it’s better for him to do it because thy already know his name. I do press when he can’t, and I’ve checked those boxes for my resume, but feel like I’m in a loop – cant do outreach or build relationships because I’m not well known enough.
Have you spoken to your boss? This sounds like a time to be direct about asking for what you want and developing a plan to get it. You’re going to need him to redirect media to you rather than fielding everything himself. If your org has someone in charge of media relations, they should be looped in, too.
If you look young and feel that’s a significant reason why media are not going to (or stayin with) you, then I’d start your focus on written media.
These are all good points…. I just feel like I’d be asking to “be more famous,” which I’m uncomfortable with.
I wouldn’t phrase it quite that way, but that IS essentially what you want, right?
Name recognition and being established in your field. What is wrong with asking for that? Please realize that your work and your person are meaningful and that you deserve recognition no less than some man out there. Don’t undercut yourself by feeling like you’re asking for something undeserved. If you’ve earned it, and it sounds like you have, then ask for the appropriate recognition. It’s fair play.
Talk to your boss. Say you’re looking to get some more experience speaking with people outside of your group and would like to try to handle some of the request people might send his way. You can cc him or speak with him present, if he needs reassurance. If they’re sending the questions to you to give to your boss, you could maybe jump in with a reply as you forward it on to him so that you’re both part of the conversation.
Another approach may be to start asking questions to other people in your field. Maybe someone is working on something related to what you’re doing and it might add to or confirm your own research. People will start seeing your name more and may field questions your way if they’ve talked to you before.
I know you’re all right about talking to him… Maybe bringing our media folks ino the conversation will help back me up, too, and put it in the context of a larger media strategy. And finding excuses to ask question to others in the field is a tactic I hadn’t thought of. Thanks!
Can the two of you do interviews together? Decide beforehand if you each get certain topics or you’ll alternate questions…something to make sure you don just nod & smile.
What do you all wear in the winter when walking around on snowy sidewalks? I don’t have any shoes with great traction, other than sneakers. A couple weeks ago I slipped and fell, so I should probably get some decent shoes before our next storm hits. Is it worth getting snow boots?
I wear snow boots. Wouldn’t want to deal with winter without them.
In those situations, I usually wear a pair of hiking boots.
I actually have a pair of hiking shoes that I bought this summer that have been getting a fair amount of usage this winter. I switch between those, my LE quilted snow boot shoes (like a boot on the sole, but only come up shoe height), and other, actual snow boots.
Yes. Actual snow boots are very warm, have good traction, and are tall enough to keep the snow out (I really dislike things that look like snow boots but only come up to your ankle). You can get good ones for not that much money.
agreed. I’ve had the same Columbia snow boots since I was 12 and my feet haven’t grown since. They don’t need replacing often.
Parker - Boardroom Belles
Horse Riding Field Boots are my favorite type of knee high boot. They are super warm, look great, have really good traction, are pretty water resistant (to an extent, they do often have a zipper up the back), come in many shaft widths and sizes and if the snow isn’t high they’re my footwear of choice. What a timely comment :)
Eh – They don’t look like they’re lined (so, not likely to be warm for long), and the sole doesn’t look very watertight – which is not with wet slushy snow. They look very chic, and might be okay for occasional snow, but I wouldn’t get them as a regular snow boot option.
Parker - Boardroom Belles
I own these particular ones and the foot part of the boot is lined so they are surprisingly warm. I’ve worn them around all day in 2-3 inch snow and my feet stayed warm and dry (I do regularly douse them in waterproof spray). I agree, they’re probably not great for 3+ inch snow, but I have luckily avoided snow that high in the last two years, so I can’t speak to how these would fare in that weather. I’ve had some field riding boots from other brands before and they were fine, too.
Not all real riding boots are lined, but I’d say that typically they’re made to be a bit more all-weather and practical than, erm, decorative riding booths. I’d wear my real riding boots around in my non-equestrian life, except they’re just a squiiidge too tall for walking comfortably.
Snowboots, hiking boots . . . but my current favorite is Aquatalia since they’re weatherproof, have great traction, but also look like normal boots.
I wear boot’s unless I am walkeing to work, then I wear my NIKE’s. Both have good TREAD, so I will not slip and fall. Of course my dad tell’s me I am OK if I fall on my tuchus b/c of all the extra padding, but FOOEY on him b/c he has not seen me since I have firmed up my tuchus and loosed 5 lbs (probabley alot of it back there!) YAY!!!!!
I met a woman in Crumb’s today that ordered the last cupcake that I wanted and I thought I should get it b/c I went into the store first but she cut in line. I am NOT sure why, but I let her go first. I wound up with a nice cookie, but it was dry, and I wanted a cupcake. I know I have to walk home so I will leave soon, but now I hear their is going to be a blizzeard tomorrow and I will NOT be abel to walk. FOOEY!
I finally picked up the phone and told Gonzalo NOT to call me here, or on my cell again. I said that I did NOT like men that paw at me, unless I was engaged. That looser said he would marry me, but I know better. I think he would, but why would I want a little runt, even if he looks like a pint-sized, minieature version of Antonio Bendaris? Not me, HOZE! I am looking for a full size guy who will treat me right! NOT HIM.
So now I am back to no one. FOOEY! I hope Roberta does not try to pair me off with her family again. I like her but that schmoe she thought I would be perfect with was B / O / R / I /N /G!!!!!!
Has anyone tried the Talbot’s slimming jeans? If so, how is the fit compared to their other jeans?
I feel like I’m struggling and have no excuses for it. I’m back to work part time after an easy labor and delivery of a healthy baby who sleeps more than most newborns, is sweet and mellow. My older son is adjusting well. My husband is totally coparenting and dividing the duties. I get to work part time and really love my job. I have a nanny who is totally awesome and totally competent (I don’t have to make pre-school lunch, laundry gets done, I could go on). We have no financial worries right now.
And yet. I feel like my anxiety is in overdrive. I wake up in the night and have trouble getting back to sleep. I worry about crazy sh*t. I hate my postpartum body. I want to get back into exercise but also don’t want to be apart from the babe too much since I’m nursing. Despite my rational brain, I feel like small mistakes are catastrophic. And I feel intense pressure to maintain a calm cheerful facade at work at all times, since my job is totally dependent on that image (really, would you want someone who doesn’t have their act together to operate on you?).
This is normal right? It’ll get better, right?
I would talk to your doctor about your anxiety levels. I haven’t had a child so I don’t know what the postpartum hormones are like, but it seems like things might be on a little bit of overdrive.
Long term, I’d suggest talking to your OB/GYN about postpartum depression. It can’t hurt and can only help.
Short term (and this is really case–for me–of “physician, heal thyself”), it sounds like you really need to take some time to yourself. How old is your baby now? Old enough that you can put him in the stroller and go on walks? I know running with the baby is out until 6 months or so, but even walking could help your moods. What about a workout DVD like 30-day Shred, that is only 30 minutes or so? When I was nursing, I would do those while the baby slept (although I had to wear two extra-strength sports bras to deal with all the jumping, etc).
Make talking to your OB/GYN a short term, not a long-term, priority. This sounds like PPD to me and I think you should see someone ASAP.
Research, Not Law
How far post-partum are you? I felt similarly after having my second, particularly in regards to pp body issues, the exercise vs kid time dilemma, and struggling with mistakes (particularly at work). It got better with time. Like I remember with the first, it was at about 9 mo pp when the chaos lifted. I never felt like, in my case, it was PPD/A. It’s just that life is like drinking from a fire hose.
That said, I did drop the ball at work a few times. Since my work isn’t life or death, the mistakes kept me up at night and anxious about the next meeting, but nobody died. In your situation, it’s worth brining up with your ob to gauge your personal situation.
As far as the exercise vs kid time dilemma goes, I got a membership at a gym with a fancy kid program. My older enjoyed their time there, so I didn’t worry. And since they all came with me, I was only away from baby for ~1hr and the staff could get me if baby needed to nurse. FYI, I found sports bras with the velcro adjustable straps (ie, Moving Comfort) are perfect for nursing access! Getting back to exercise was so very helpful. I’m sure it helped my mood and sleeping – but honestly, losing some baby weight and pouch (that was so much stickier than after the first…) improved my outlook on life dramatically. I ended up dropping it after a few months (I work FT and it was just too much after my husband’s schedule got busy), but it was so worth it for getting over the hump.
I think it is normal, and I think it will get better, but I also think there is no harm in speaking to your doctor about it. It is a hard transition, particularly when you are also responsible for so many other things in addition to the new baby. Also, I had major guilt for a year or so after my youngest was born about being away any longer than necessary for work and so I never worked out. I gained a bunch of weight and was miserable (both because I gained weight and because I was just in a bad mood). I finally got over the guilt and started working out and eating right and have lost much of the weight finally. I wish I had come to grips sooner with the reality that an extra 30 minutes to run on the treadmill will not be damaging to my child. A mother with little patience and who acts like a b!tch to their father is much more damaging. Anyways, not saying at all that this is how you are, this is just how I was and really needed a reality check.
I’ve been in a similar spot after the birth of my eldest. Go talk to your doc; even if meds aren’t the answer, a therapist could likely help as well. You have to go easy on yourself — and I say this bc I know firsthand how hard that is. Be kind and take care of YOU right now — your kids are way better off with a happy, healthy mama.
I had to get help with anxiety after #2 was born. I worked p/t from home, had a beautiful new home, dh who was a big help, we were in a great position financially, had friends, everything on paper looked great, but I had anxiety & insomnia. When to see our family doc, was prescribed ativan, and evenutally weaned myself off it (so I could get pg with #3). The ativan was a lifesaver for me, and I had no issues after #3. There’s nothing wrong with getting some help. Hormones can do wacky, wacky things to you!
Are you kidding me? You are totally awesome. You are a SURGEON with TWO babies! AND you are back at work with one tiny baby! I get you have some other support systems (which in a perfect world all women would have) but please see my third sentence.
I was a litigator with a great support network when I had my two now-non-baby boys. I can assure you it does get better, and what you are going through is totally normal if my experience is any indication. Research, not law, nailed it when she described life with two kids like drinking from a fire hose. I don’t think it would hurt to chat with your physician to see if there’s any way to make this transition as peaceful as possible. I know you are superwoman and all, but what is the point of advances in medical knowledge if even superwoman won’t consider taking advantage of them? Just from reading your online comments I’m actually sure you’re totally capable of powering through this if that’s what you choose but at least check and make sure you’ve considered all your options.
Seriously. SURGEON. TWO BABIES. I think you win the internet today.
Keep us posted!
+1 “Seriously. SURGEON. TWO BABIES. I think you win the internet today.”
Keep us posted, EC MD, we’re cheering for you.
+ another. As a mom of an only, I’m in _awe_ of parents of more than one child!!
Be kind to yourself…check with your ob or check in with a skilled therapist, and find time to exercise.
Hi EC MD. I had PPD with my second and I didnt know it for a long time becaus it took the form of anxiety, not what I think of as depression. Please talk to someone. I am worried about you now. I hate to think of anyone else going through that because it was Awful.
The bright side – I am OK now and I was OK very soon after that, once I reached out for help. Please do that, and do not beat yourself up!
Ladies, wanted to post this article written by a childhood and college friend…if you don’t know about the risk of blood clots linked to BCPs (especially if you are smoker), this is worth a read. Thanks!
J Crew No. 2 Pencil Skirt ?
I have a question about the J Crew No. 2 Pencil Skirt. They have several colors in my size range on sale and I’m wondering what you ladies think about the fit of it? I’m 5’4″ and pretty curvy: 34″bust, 26″ waist, and 38″ hips. I know I’ll have to get the waist taken it, but I’m wondering what all of you with smaller waists and larger hips think of it? Is it still a God send or should I pass?
I love the No. 2 — own a zillion of them — but I’m pretty straight up and down. That leads me to believe they may not work for someone who’s curvy, but perhaps others can chime in?
Little waist, lots of hip
I have similar measurements, and a 4 was wayyy too shapely for my taste. A 6 or even an 8 might give you a better fit to work with.
I’m about 32-27-38, and I get size 8 skirts from J. Crew and then get the waist taken in.
J Crew No. 2 Pencil Skirt ?
Interesting. I’ve been able to comfortably wear size 4 pencil skirts with no pulling in the front from BR and thought their sizing was similar. Am I wrong?
I don’t shop at BR, but I buy size 4 skirts from AT.
imo BR’s a bit curvier. i’m not curvy (33-25.5-33). i don’t usually get BR pencil skirts because they poof out at the hips a bit too much when i try them on and i’m too lazy to get them tailored, but i do like J Crew’s pencil skirts off the rack.
Oh, and whether I think it’s worth it or not, I like the colors that J. Crew offers, but Ann Taylor pencil skirts off the hanger fit me almost perfectly.
J Crew No. 2 Pencil Skirt ?
Good to know! Do they last well?
I’ve always had good experience with their quality. Disclaimer: I worked there about 6 or 7 years ago while in college. At least at that point, if you brought in anything that had issues with a receipt, you would get a full refund. I think customer service may be not so stellar now, but I’ve never had to test it.
Parker - Boardroom Belles
Thanks for the feedback. I give in to the No 2 once per year for a sheer lack of alternatives, despite several issues I’ve got with it (don’t like standard cotton material and I feel it’s not the best shape for a curvy person and not tall sizes). I’ll try Ann Taylor!
this won’t be at all helpful, but I saw the word sale and now I’m online shopping again (and pretty much always…)
I have very similar measurements to you (I’m a touch taller) and I looooove the No. 2 from J Crew. For me an 8 off the rack is perfect (a six might work, but might read as a little too clingy/badonkadonk for work.
I have similar measurements and I buy all my pencil skirts from etsy and get them hemmed; I’ve gotten a lot of high quality, perfect condition ones for very reasonable prices. For whatever reason this shape seems much easier to find in vintage. How about this one?
T/J: A while ago, Kat did a post on workwear fashion bloggers and most of the bloggers were petite. I remember (me +) other people being frustrated about the lack of blogs for non plus size women with curves in non hipster (work appropriate) clothing with a twist.
WELL. A few days ago, I found a great blog called Mavens and Muses (link to follow). It’s a blog which showcases fashion blogs from women of color. I’ve always wondered WHERE the black or hispanic fashion bloggers were! Through this blog, I found a blog called beaute j’adore (dot) com. The blog is a non plus size woman with curves in non hipster clothing but with a twist. She makes (!) a lot of business casual clothes and her style is lovely. I ran back to Corporette to sing her praises!
The only downside is that the blog is style + lifestyle. I personally don’t like blogs which mix food, family, etc. But you can just click on the “my closet” link and you just see the fashion posts. It’s only a year old but it’s good. I’m going to keep looking and posting so I can hopefully find other bloggers like this.
And if you are that blogger or know of other blogs, please post them. There are so many blogs that google doesn’t really help!
Oooh the lady at Beaute J’adore looks great! I love her style. I would shamelessly rip off like, every single outfit on the first page. I hope that when I’m her age, I look that f*cking amazing.
A thread upstream has me thinking about my law school loans ($150k+) and ability to buy a house. DH and I live in a rural area and make about 100k/yr…. that’s about double the median income around here (and the area has a very low cost of living), but I have large law school loans. We are hoping to build a house in the next couple years, and I’m wondering what the hive’s experience has been in qualifying for mortgages and/or construction loans when your student loan balance is pretty high relative to your income. Our payments aren’t that bad because of IBR, and our credit scores are good (his is near perfect, mine… not as perfect, but not terrible either), but I just have this lingering fear that the first loan officer we talk to will laugh at us for thinking we can buy or build with my student loans such as they are. I have been too chicken to even work on getting pre-approval because I am afraid of getting turned down. Have you guys been successful in getting house loans despite large student loan balances?
We were, but it took some shopping around. Some lenders were not willing to look past the large balance.
I built a (town)house about 3 1/2 years ago. I was also concerned that my student loans would have a negative impact when I applied for a mortgage, but it didn’t seem to hold me back at all.
The details of our situations are a bit different – my debt was less ($40K), which was about half my salary at the time. I really don’t know if there is a tipping point at which lenders will begin to be more critical.
My fiance has pretty massive loan debt (yea, law school), but was able to get a home loan through USAA. I’m not sure if any of your family members are or were military, but if so, definitely an option worth checking into.
I have decent sized student loans (not six figure but close) and I already have a mortgage on a property I own in my former state. My husband and I have good jobs but each make under six figures. We qualified no problem for a mortgage on our new home (so two mortgages b/c of two houses). I am not on IBR, however. To me, though, IBR would be a plus because you have less you have to pay each month. My monthly payment (10 year plan) equals my first mortgage payment yet we still qualified for a much larger mortgage on the second house. We went for a medium sized mortgage on the second house and did not agree with the determination that we could have afforded so much.
I’m basically you! Except I live in a small city with a low cost of living. I have $160k loans, my husband and I make about $110k together. I’m on an IBR plan, with hopes (PRAYERS!) to get the balance forgiven after 10 years through PSLF. We just bought a house for about $150k, with no real problems at all. Our credit union approved us for up to $200k — not sure what your housing budget is, but I think credit unions are on the more conservative side, so you may be able to borrow more.
Does anyone here have experience hiring a private investigator? Even better, does anyone have a rec for one in the Miami area?
I always kind of think of them as kind of a scam. I guess my thoughts are if it is a crime, get the police. For any other situation it just seems like spying, but I guess the only situation I can think of is the cheating spouse. But if you are thinking about hiring a private investigator, I think the relationship is already dead so why spend the money.
I’ll play devil’s advocate.
If it’s a cheating spouse, then yes, the relationship is probably already dead, but the OP may need evidence in court. If someone’s a cheating spouse and used to lying, what’s to prevent them from lying about the cheating all the way to divorce court and through divorce court? Photos may be useful then.
I don’t know if it’s necessary for court anymore since at least in some states, fault doesn’t get taken into account, and it’s not like you still need to prove adultery to get a divorce. BUT – I think sometimes you have situations where you feel like something is going on and yet you can’t prove it, and while I personally wouldn’t advocate getting a PI, I can see how someone could find that useful to give themselves the courage to leave.
I sympathize with the op and do not want to make fun of the situation, but this thread has reminded me of Guy Noir, private eye. I’m such a nerd, I’ve listened to Prairie Home for years
I believe in Florida, adultery can be factored in for alimony awards.
T0 D!ck Tracy – To find a competent private investigator, ask a divorce/family law attorney, a police officer or perhaps call Miami Dade College and ask them if they have a list of graduates.
Sorry – that should be “list of graduates of Miami Dade CI program.”
Anon Homeowner for above
Reposting b/c stuck in moderation
My husband and I just bought a house this past year. We also make about 100k/yr combined. He has no loans while I have about $170k in loans from law school. There is a low cost of living where we live, and our house, which cost $180k, has a mortgage lower than the rent we were paying. Both our credit scores were good– his perfect, mine good. We decided the best thing to do was take out the mortgage in his name only, but still buy the house as tenants by the entirety.
For us this made the most sense and we have not regretted it for a second. I can’t speak to your exact situation, but I do not think anyone would laugh you out of their office. In my experience student loans were not a bar to homeownership at all.
Woohoo! Snow day tomorrow!
Were you considering talking to your boss about this a couple days ago or was that someone else?
I think it was someone else, but I actually came here to ask her too: I really hope your boss isn’t still making you come to work tomorrow!
In related news…my university is totally closed tomorrow. Woohoo!
Yup. Wasn’t me. I’m at a university, too. My boss told us earlier today that we could work from home, but we got notice about an hour ago that we’ll be closed.
That was me. Boss is still suggesting I come in and leave around 4pm to miss the worst of it. Am going back and forth. Very, very nervous but also thinking based on the advice given that I may just need to suck it up and deal. Only me and my boss, as far as I can tell, are considering coming into the office at all tomorrow (no one else, and I wouldn’t be if not for my boss). In the Mass area so obviously that big storm. Sigh.
That’s kind of ridiculous. I know forecasts might be overblown but pretty much everyone is hunkering down by 3pm. I mean, they’ve closed all transi after 330 for gods sake! I really hope that once it starts snowing he will let you leave maybe at 2 or something :( and hopefully you don’t have far to drive.
I hate how some people won’t take driving seriously. It really is a dangerous endeavor and deserves attention and caution. People like your boss just expecting people to drive around in all conditions unconcerned make it more dangerous for all of us. :(
Also, I know I’m in my late-twenties now, but a big part of me sees “two feet of snow” and wants to go outside and build a snowman. Sigh. I guess I will just settle for running around a bit in the snow in the park. :)
When we visited a friend in Cleveland this winter, I tried to behave like a mom & chatted with my friend & other parents at the too of the sledding hill while the kids zoomed down it, but I just couldn’t help myself. I had to grab the sled and go.
I already gave EC MD the internet win today for obvious reasons. However, you must give yourself an honourable mention. How much are your kids going to love this memory later? (I’m assuming you are a mom, but if not, still way to go you!)
Okay, migraine sufferers. How do you all get through the work day without completely losing all productivity? I”m a law student who has Migraines of Doom roughly once a month, and I’ve yet to figure out how to handle them effectively without curling up with medicine and earplugs in a dark, dark room. Every time I try to go to school I end up throwing up in the ladies’ room or zoning out as my head throbs to the beat of the professor’s shoe-tapping. Nothing gets done. How does one handle this?
This sometimes works for me, plus coffee, ibuprofen 800 mg and mint M&Ms. But sometimes nothing works. I have the same problem you have and this was me yesterday.
Forgot to post link: http://www.amazon.com/Health-From-The-Sun-My-Grastick/dp/B000WSLF0E/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1360286985&sr=8-2&keywords=migrastick
Urgh, I’m sorry. That sounds terrible.
I started taking meds for my migraines a few years ago. (Imatrix, now Treximet) and the newer meds have been a huge improvement. Staying at my desk and putting on sunglasses and headphones, I can keep from throwing up or passing out (gross sorry) for those few hours.
I think “handling effectively” is something that depends on the situation, and sometimes handling it *is* curling up in a dark room. :/
In the past, I informed my professors that I suffered from migraines and would need extra absences, and made sure that I had a good note-taker friend in every class. It sounds like being on campus when you’re suffering is not helping your well-being or education. I don’t know if it would be possible for law school, but maybe you could try a similar set up?
Other suggestions: Maybe it’s time to try a new prescription?
I know people who have had luck figuring out their migraine triggers. Maybe start keeping a detailed notebook: when//how long/what you ate or did prior?
I stretched out in the dark with meds and soda water, getting up only for things that absolutely could not be rescheduled. The worst years for me, I was a prof, not a student. I could predict my cycle & therefore my migraines very well, and I scheduled around them. Tests, in-class exercises, videos have to happen anyway. Why not on a day when I felt like crap and was barely able to stay upright? Usually, I’d get a rush of adrenaline or whatever that teaching rush is, so I didn’t hurt for that hour, but afterwards I was completely spent, had to get straight home to bed before the rush wore off and driving/biking would be scary. I know sitting in class isn’t such a rush, but maybe you could make notes of those days on your calendar and try to avoid them when you’re scheduling study groups or the like.
Sorry this got so long.
I have had migraines since I was 12 and yes, it is a problem when I have to work through one. My personal coping strategy has been to take whatever painkillers I can tolerate (which unfortunately does not include triptans) at a time when the bulk of the nausea has passed and I won’t vomit them. I have caffeine pills I can take with the meds, but not too many, as that by itself causes nausea. I try to work in a space where I can adjust my own lighting. I also always figure out a dark, quiet place I can go – unused conference room, storage closet, etc. – where I can “wait out” the worst acute phase of the migraine if possible. Ultimately, if it is a really bad one, where I can’t really tolerate any light or noise and the vomiting won’t stop, I go home. I am no use to my employer at that point anyway. I have been lucky, I guess, because everyone I’ve ever worked for has understood.
I understand the FDA just approved a new patch for migraine treatment. I already know triptans are not for me, but if they work for you, you might consider it as it bypasses the “I just vomited up my migraine meds” problem.
If you haven’t already gone through steps to figure out what could trigger you, that can be helpful. Once-monthly migraines may be hormonal. I have hormonal migraines, migraines that trigger off of certain foods, and “idiopathic” migraines (I don’t know what causes them). In my case, I figured out that my hormonal migraines were happening as my progesterone dropped before my period, and so I started using a small amount of progesterone cream over a 2-3 day period during that time in my cycle, and it helped a lot. I did an elimination diet to figure out my food triggers (aspartame was the main one) and that helped me cut down food-triggered migraines. I still have 2-3 headache days a month but at my peak I had 12-15, so I feel like I’ve improved a lot! I will never be migraine-free but figuring out what I could do to help prevent my migraines did cut down on the number of times a month I have to seek a dark room.
Wow, that is a lot in one month. My hormonal ones were 2’daysnin average,’and the union cause ones were rare. If I got them as often as you used to, I’d never be without
Glad to hear you’re (nearly) over them!
long time lurker
Cold sugar soda, a couple crackers to coat the stomach and then an imitrex. If there are auras, then I wear sunglasses. I mostly grew out of migraines at around 36, I’m down from twice a month to once a year – so maybe relief is in sight for you.
Mine didn’t start until my late 30s…
The key for me is stopping the migraines before they get really bad. Try to figure out what triggers yours. I learned that dry air was a trigger for me and decreased them by using a humidifier. It took me a while to recognize them but I also get signs that a migraine is coming: dizziness and flashing light. As soon as I get a sign, I take Excedrin migraine or ibuprofen and coffee. Most of the time, the migraine never sets in. Unfortunately, if one does get full strength then only a dark room and narcotics help.
anon in tejas
I suffered from migraines through high school, college, and law school. I get them now as well, but only 2-4 times a year.
They were the worst in high school. I was under a tremendous amount of stress due to my family life, and I had very few coping skills. I also did not really take care of myself in terms of nutrition, hydration, etc. and that made it worse.
In college, I found that my migraines were also made worse by hbc. I ended up stopping taking it completely when they were happening more than 1x monthly.
I found that my triggers were extreme stress, big changes in barometric pressure, onset of allergy season, failure to take care of my self (enough sleep, water, and food), and nicotine (smoking too much). I try to make sure to get enough sleep most nights, one or maybe two nights of bad/no sleep will sometimes trigger them. This is sometimes harder than it seems, because if I am very stressed about work, it will be very difficult for me to sleep. And I try to always eat/drink water. if I go more than 8 hours without eating during the day due to court or work, it’s possible that I’ll get one.
Medicating early and realizing the difference between a migraine and a regular headache is really important.
“Medicating early and realizing the difference between a migraine and a regular headache is really important.”
Yes! Lots of different meds have been mentioned here–you have to figure out what works for you. Caffergot used to do it for me, now Midrin is better. But whatever you use, take it as soon as you sense a migraine starting