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Updated: Oct 30, 2018 254 Comments · by

Tuesday’s Workwear Report: Belted Shirtdress

The Personal Shopper (TPS) |

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. I kind of have a love/hate relationship with shirtdresses — I feel like I hate most of them, but this one from 1.State just feels so cool and casual (and I think it would even fly at more conservative offices, provided it wasn't a big day and you wore grownup accessories with it, like these pumps). I like the slight slit in the skirt and also the sort of D-ring belt, and I like the way the collar looks as well. It has a removable slip lining and it's hand washable (line dry), and it's $119 at Nordstrom, available in sizes XS–M. Belted Shirtdress Update: Unfortunately, the dress has sold out — but here are options from Everlane and Mango. Two plus-size alternatives are at Nordstrom and ModCloth. This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support! Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.

Sales of note for 9.19.24

  • Nordstrom – Beauty deals through September, and cardmembers earn 3x the points (ends 9/22)
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 30% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Boden – 15% off new styles
  • Eloquii – Extra 50% off sale
  • J.Crew – 50% off select styles — and 9/19 only, 50% off the cashmere wrap
  • J.Crew Factory – Up to 60% off everything + 50% off sale with code
  • Lo & Sons – Warehouse sale, up to 70% off
  • M.M.LaFleur – Save 25% sitewide
  • Neiman Marcus – Friends & Family 25% off
  • Rag & Bone – Friends & Family 25% off sitewide
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – Anniversary event, 25% off your entire purchase — Free shipping, no minimum, 9/19 only
  • Target – Car-seat trade-in event through 9/28 — bring in an old car seat to get a 20% discount on other baby/toddler stuff.
  • Tuckernuck – Friends & Family Sale – get 20%-30% off orders (ends 9/19).
  • White House Black Market – 40% off select styles

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Kat

Kat Griffin is the founder, publisher, and editor-in-chief of Corporette. You can read more about her here.

Comments

  1. Cb

    Ugh, my 65 year old male boss just ignored the ‘stop’ sign and the locked meeting room door and nearly walked in on me pumping. Luckily I was able to jump up and cover everything. I know he should be embarrassed rather than me but ugh…being a mom at work is hard sometimes.

    Hoping we’ll just never speak of it again.

    • Diana Barry

      What? How could he get through a locked door? Good grief! Sorry about that! Pumping is hard at the best of times!

      Can you get a door stop and put it on the inside of the door, so that no one can open it at all?

      • Cb

        It was locked from the inside but we all have master keys. The door opens outwards so sadly a doorstop wouldn’t work. Considering a guard dog.I was a bit tense afterwards and only got half the normal amount so baby will be on formula tomorrow.

        • tesyaa

          It was locked from the inside but we all have master keys. The door opens outwards so sadly a doorstop wouldn’t work. Considering a guard dog.I was a bit tense afterwards and only got half the normal amount so baby will be on formula tomorrow.

          • Cb

            So smart. It’s our ‘reading room’, the university I work for doesn’t have pumping rooms on my campus. I’m in the UK so there is no legal requirement and most women take the full year of mat leave so it isn’t a pressing issue but it does make it harder for those of us who come back earlier.

        • Anonymous

          So frustrating – maybe put an additional small post it over the lock that says ‘do not enter’. Pumping facing away from the door may also be more relaxing for you because you’ll know that even if it were to happen again, they would just see the back of the chair.

    • Monday

      This is so frustrating. Women have posted about this issue in every forum or advice column I read–and it’s always male colleagues who are barging in!

      A woman in my office made a sign for her office door that says “PUMPING.” We all have master keys as well, so while I think some others found the sign TMI, it may be the only thing that made clear why people shouldn’t just come on in. Of course, this only works if you have your own door and are comfortable with such a sign.

      • Anonymous

        Nope. My female boss walked in on me, realized what I was doing, and DIDN’T leave. Just kept talking. We were not that close.

      • SC

        Super late to respond today, but one of the women in my old office put up a sign that said “Do not disturb” with some storks or some other baby-type imagery around it. It’s slightly more subtle than “PUMPING” but would at least signal to anyone with half a brain that it’s not a meeting or conference all in progress.

    • Anonymous

      Lordy. Time to get your facilities management people to add a deadbolt (or get thee to a hardware store; they aren’t hard to add).

        • anon

          Why are you trolling SO hard?? This is her choice to make, and she deserves respect and privacy while she pumps.

      • Anon4this

        Kat, why aren’t you blocking this type of comment?

        This doesn’t speak well of the site.

        • Kat G

          Hi guys. As I’ve explained before, I can either moderate EVERY SINGLE COMMENT that comes into this site — or I can let most pass through without moderation unless there are words that are particularly bad. Once someone proves themselves a “bad actor” (see our moderation policy) I can also grab the IP address and put that itself in the moderation queue.

          Regarding this particular comment, I’ve looked up the IP address — and there are two prior comments, both on this thread. Because these comments seem triggering/@#@$-stirring, I’ll go in and delete them as well.

          Thank you so much for your patience, and for reading!

      • LAnon

        Good point, Anonymous Troll.

        It’s like, if my boss walks in on me in the bathroom with my pants down, that’s my own fault because HELLO, adult diapers exist!! My own fault for getting undressed at work when there are OPTIONS, like having a catheter inserted.

        • Lana Del Raygun

          Well, obviously. You should be embarrassed that you even let this be a *possibility*.

        • NOLA

          Oh god, I walked in on one of my folks (who didn’t check the stall door) in the bathroom. Wasn’t as bad as it could have been, but I am ultra ultra careful now.

    • Anon

      This is why I have a “wait a minute please, nursing mom at work” sign I hang on my office door handle that doesn’t lock while I am pumping. And another mom in my office just asked where I got it after she got a walk-in.

      • Anonymous

        This is a bit too vague, I’m afraid, for 90% of the people I work with.

        Too bad there is no “half naked and pumping” sign — TMI though.

      • Never too many shoes...

        Honestly, I am a mom and I am not sure I would translate that sign into “pumping” necessarily. I would be more likely to think “she is trying to work as efficiently as possible so she can get home to her babe, make sure it is really important before interrupting”,

    • AnonBigLawMom

      It happens at least once. My 65+ coworker walked in on me (door shut; had a cover fortunately), realized what was happening b/c of the noise, went red, and said sorry and ran out. It wasn’t great but we recovered and he forgot. I really enjoyed pumping when I first went back b/c it felt like something to do for my DD who I missed, but after awhile it really became too much. Let it go as soon as you first think you want to!

  5. Diana Barry

    I have another question about the full body firm photo (ugh). I am planning on wearing a dress and jacket (non-matching). Should I wear hose and pumps? Probably better that than tights and booties, correct? What kind of pumps won’t look dated in 5-7 years (my last firm photo was taken 6 years ago)? Rrrrgh.

    • Costa Ronin

      I’d go with hose b/c at my age, I don’t have camera-ready legs, especially after they haven’t seen the sun in ~6 months. But maybe do some test shots, as spandex can show as very sparkly sometimes or the shading can be off from what you expect. AND wear new hose — sometimes hose picks up dye from shoes and leaves weird marks that looks like smudges if the current shoes don’t line up 100%.

      100% not tights.

    • Pompom

      I’d go for the look that will be most appropriate year round. What you describe sounds good!

      This could totally be just me, but if someone’s looking at these in the summer but you’re all bundled up in tights and booties and a heavy tweed, it may look off? Likewise, a totally summer look in January might not have staying power.

      I’d do nude for you hose (or none, whatever!) and a basic shaped pump–color, height, etc up to you.

    • Scarlett

      I’d probably go with a high skinny heel and pointed toe – like the classic Manolo pump (M Gemi makes a similar one) so you have a little more edge/ style. I think that’s got relative staying power even if not always on trend. Personally, I’d do no hose and have the photographer retouch your legs if needed since hose can reflect light weirdly and add weight unnecessarily in a photo.

    • Diana Barry

      Thanks! I usually get the DKNY “nudes” ones – do those reflect light also or should they be OK? I can always take them off at the studio if needed, I guess.

      • Kk

        I think this is a good case for the Sally Hansen leg makeup spray- in the lightest color that’s closest to your skin tone. It will mask any veins/bruising but it wont wrinkle or catch the light the way nylons do

    • Anon.

      For heels, go with almond toe, slimmer heel, in black, brown, or your nude (whichever goes best with your outfit), as the shape is classic and the color so unobtrusive no one will notice them (which is the point, people should focus on your face). Please don’t go pointy toe, they come and go out of fashion, but an almond toe (not too round) is a standard shoe shape.

      Also, recommend matte nude hose. They aren’t noticeable as anything but leg in a photo. You also shouldn’t have any self consciousness about your legs in this picture.

  6. Costa Ronin

    That man is everywhere (or everywhere that needs an actor who can play a Russian convincingly).

    And he seems to be very tall (which I think is odd to notice, as the Kardashians never read as particularly short, even though I understand that they are generally around 5-0 (except for Khloe and the one who is a model (yes, I sort of hate that I know this, but I swear those people have owned the grocery store checkout aisles for at least the past decade)).

      • Anonymous

        Pretty sure he’s not. The thought was OMG he must be super-tall, b/c not-tall people don’t even read as short in pictures / otherwise being shown in 2-D.

    • Anon

      Kourtney is super short but I think Kim is around 5’4” so basically average for a woman. Khloe and Kendall are both very tall, like 5’10”.

      • Anonymous

        Ugh. I hate to say this, but it’s there another one? They all seem to be fungible though — pregnant ones, selfie on dailymail ones, ones that recently became blonde, check-out lane ones.

          • Anonymous

            I mean, Kendall has a career as a model, but the rest of them are basically all full-time reality stars with makeup lines. They’re not very different.

  7. pugsnbourbon

    I need to buy a large rolling bag for an upcoming trip. Looking at two 28″ spinners. All other things equal, do you prefer hard-side or fabric for checked luggage?

    • Anonymous

      I used to be on Team Fabric until something oozed all over my checked bag. A year of airing out and generous doses of Febreze didn’t fix it, so now I am on team hard-sided. [The contents similarly stank, so on the trip itself I had emergency dry-cleaning to do.]

      FWIW, I had cloth Kirkland-brand luggage at Costco that I’d rebuy in a heartbeat (it was a carry-on sized bag with wheels, perhaps they make larger ones; those are inexpensive enough to rebuy should they have a similar unfortunate incident).

    • Scarlett

      I got an away suitcase and that converted me to team hard side. I like the compression system and that there’s a set amount of space to work with, somehow I fit more in there than in a side side. I miss a laptop pocket a little, but since laptops have gotten so much lighter and smaller lately, this doesn’t bug me anymore.

      • Veronica Mars

        I actually found a hard side with a laptop pocket on Amazon from TravelCross. I was thinking about getting it, but may be worth a look.

    • M.S.

      I am Team Hardside. I just bought a Samsonite Winfield 2 Hardside 28″ on Amazon for $109. My mom has one and raves about it.

    • Rainbow Hair

      I like hardside for checked luggage. I find it’s easier to pack more into it too, AND my fragile things (beer!) stay safe from squishing.

  8. Veronica Mars

    What would you do? I got a dog from the municipal pound, thinking it was a certain breed of dog. For example, I thought it was probably something like a lab/poodle mix and it ended up being a breed like a Portuguese Water Dog when I got all his paperwork during the adoption. This breed is exceptionally rare in the US. I’ve since become really active on the social community for this breed as I had to navigate some breed-specific health and temperament issues. Ok, so here’s the situation. I’ve seen 10+ of these rare dogs coming through this particular pound, which makes me think there’s either a hoarding situation or a backyard breeder that keeps dumping them. They’re incredibly neglected when dropped off (my dog had every kind of parasite, infected nails, etc). Part of me wants to alert the national rescue for this dog and start picking them up and getting them into fosters. They’d then get breed-specific care and training from people who love this breed and are well-equipped to handle the common behavioral traits. It may even reduce demand on breeders since there are rescues available through the national org. But part of me thinks, why bother? Does it even matter? Every one of those 10+ abandoned dogs was snapped up (because they’re cute as hell, even if they have sores). I don’t know if any were returned after the fact (and maybe put down), but I did see each one be placed on adoption hold and then released initially. What would you do? Get the rescue involved or just let them go to local families that want them?

    • Anonymous

      If they are being put down for lack of families, I’d take action so they had a better chance to get homes. Otherwise, wouldn’t bother. I’ve had both and there’s not that much difference between a Labrador and a portuguese water dog. It’s not like a collie vs a husky or something.

      • Veronica Mars

        It’s not a Portuguese Water Dog, I’m using that as an example since I’m very active in this breed’s community and there aren’t many in my area.

        • Clementine

          I’m imagining it’s a breed like a Viszla or a Chesapeake Bay Retriever who are often passed off as ‘labs’ or ‘lab mixes’ but have drastically different temperments and just different ownership requirements.

          I think it’s a great idea to call the National rescue! Just because these dogs are being adopted quickly doesn’t mean that at some point, the shelter may be in a squeeze for space and be thankful that other options are available.

          • Anonymous

            The rescue could also be a good resource for people who adopt from the shelter when/if they need help with breed specific behaviors, etc.

          • Veronica Mars

            That’s exactly what I was trying to get at, thank you! The ownership requirements of what they are versus what people may think they’re getting are different. I was told as I was signing the adoption paperwork what his breed was, but I just thought, “it doesn’t matter, I love him and he needs a home.” I didn’t even know the breed existed. For whatever reason, this pound doesn’t list breeds in their listings, it’s just pictures and a description of the dog.

    • Anonymous

      It can’t hurt to make a phone call, right? Maybe the shelter will say, nah we’re cool we got this. Or maybe they’re so overwhelmed with other adoptions they’d welcome the help. Especially if it’s not a no-kill shelter… all those people who are adopting the super cute rare breed dogs would end up adopting other dogs that might be getting put down.

      • anon

        It can’t hurt to ask and see if your local shelter is open to connecting with the national breed rescue. We adopted our current dog from a private rescue that works with the local (no-kill) municipal shelters. They aren’t a breed-specific rescue, but they pull a certain number of dogs to free up space and resources. So many shelters are in such a tight place with finances and space constraints, I don’t see a downside in at least having the conversation.

    • Anonymous

      I’m glad at least a part of you wants to do something but to your question why bother – yes it matters.. if you are onto something, imagine the conditions that the breeding dogs are living in and how they are being treated if their litters are being neglected and dumped.. and if these breeders are allowed to continue to do this more dogs will be impacted.. its not just about the abandoned dogs with sores (!!) that are “snapped up”. in addition, irresponsible breeding is literally one of the reasons there are so many dogs up for adoption that never get adopted.

      • Veronica Mars

        Thank you. I’ve been getting increasingly upset about the situation as I’ve seen dog after dog and I don’t know what else I could do. I don’t know who is dumping the dogs so I can’t exactly call the police about it. This was the only thing I could think of. And yes, it’s unbelievably sad the conditions these dogs are in. Mine was left outside in the elements 24/7 until he was finally brought in.

        • anon

          Yes, definitely talk to your local shelter! They may know more about how this keeps happening.

          It has to be heartbreaking. I get so, so angry with people who mistreat animals.

        • busybee

          Depending on your city, I might contact the police. In my large city, we have a police unit specifically to address situations of abused and neglected animals. If you have something similar, make them aware so they can maybe conduct some investigation of their own to get to the bottom of it.

    • Anonymous

      They are all finding families who love them. I wouldn’t interfere with that.

      • Anonymous

        A potential problem is that these families think they are getting X breed with Y temperament and instead are getting B breed with C temperament. While many families will keep the dog anyway and work through it, some will not and the dog will either get returned or rehomed and the problem will continue. Having the breed-specific resource could be helpful in that the shelter could point new adopters to them if there are any breed-specific problems that crop up!

        • Anonymous

          Most shelters that are not breed specific will not tell you for sure what breed a dog is because often they don’t know or they are guessing at best, the most they will do is tell you what they think it might be.

          • Anon at 10:12

            I understand that, but usually their best guesses are on the dog’s profile and people assume the shelter is right no matter how many times the shelter gives a disclaimer. Plus, you know how people get set in their minds about some things! I think being able to provide an additional resource is better than nothing.

          • Anonymous

            so, not related, but funny story – I went to a shelter to adopt a kitten a few years ago. I feel in love with a cute black and white kitten, which the shelter told me was a male. After I adopted him, I took him to the vet. Turns out it was actually a female! It was going to be my only cat, so I luckly didn’t care about gender.

        • Veronica Mars

          I was only told at the stage when I was signing all the paperwork, which is bad on me, but I didn’t really think it mattered to ask before that point. I thought he was a mutt. Luckily I’m actually an ideal owner for this breed, given my lifestyle. But, I thought he’d be a 5 on the energy scale and he’s probably about a 7 or 8. And I didn’t realize that the temperament of this dog can be hard to train. They’re one of the super, super smart breeds so if you don’t know what you’re doing they’ll steamroll over you. But of course, now that I’ve had him and learned how to train him, I can’t imagine a better dog for me.

    • Anonymous

      I think you can do both! You can try to investigate a hoarding/backyard breeder situation which means more dogs will be rescued and go to loving homes.

      If you’re involved in the breed locally, put a call out on Facebook or whatever. You might get info from there. And contact the shelter, they’re probably familiar with people in the area.

      • Owner of a "Particular" Breed

        +1.

        As the owner of a sweet pup from a particular breed (11/10 on the energy scale, notoriously difficult to train, abandoned often due to owner not being able to manage, etc.), I have found the Facebook groups for pup’s particular breed to be invaluable for resources, ideas, etc.

        I think putting the shelter in contact with the rescue is a great idea! I have seen sweet pups abandoned due to lack of owner’s ability to manage the behaviors and any and all resources that these shelters can make available to ensure the family can be happy together and thrive is A+.

    • Anonymous

      Yes, I’d contact your breed’s national rescue. I agree that they may then be able to be a resource for others in the area. These more unusual breeds, as you know, also tend to all know one another and care a lot about irresponsible breeding. You may actually be able to make an impact by alerting the other responsible breeders that this is happening.

      Is it, by any chance, a curly-haired retriever?

    • Anonymous

      Yes, I’d contact your breed’s national rescue. I agree that they may then be able to be a resource for others in the area. These more unusual breeds, as you know, also tend to all know one another and care a lot about irresponsible breeding. You may actually be able to make an impact by alerting the other responsible breeders that this is happening.

      Is it, by any chance, a curly-haired retriever?

  9. Anonymous

    I need some advice what to do. I have not seem my mom or family in a few years. She never calls, emails, etc. I used to call her frequently, but she acted as if I was bothering her and was never interested in talking and I always felt bad about myself after these calls. So I just eventually stopped calling and felt a weight lifted off my shoulder. Now she will text me to tell me happy birthday, and that is about it. The other day she texted to ask me to come to a party for my grandparents that is on a Friday afternoon. Honestly, I do not really want to go because it will be a logistical nightmare to go, I think it will be awkward, and I don’t really want to feel bad. My partner says I should go because it’s “the right thing to do” but I don’t know if that is a good reason to go.

    • cbackson

      Let’s back up a step: is there a broader context beyond what you’ve stated here about why you haven’t seen your family in a few years? Do you wish you saw them more or had a closer relationship? If the broader history of your family relationships is bad and you’re happier not seeing them, then don’t go. If you wish you had a different/closer relationship, it might be worth it.

      There’s not a “right thing to do” here other than what’s right for you, but I think that depends on a wider set of factors than you’ve given here. If you feel comfortable sharing more, maybe we can help you think through that?

      • Anonymous

        I actually don’t think I really mind not having a close relationship with them. I think it’s difficult to have a relationship with my mom because she is a closed book. It’s hard for me to put into words why I have not seen them other than every time I am around them, they somehow make me feel bad about myself for being successful, leaving their rural community, living in a city, my career, etc. We are very much polar opposites.

        • cbackson

          If you’re happy with how things sit now, then I think you judge this in the same way you would an invite from an acquaintance – is it convenient? Would it be fun? It sounds like the answer to both of those is “no.”

          Sure, you may want to think about whether in the future you’ll regret your distance from them, and whether or not this might help lessen that distance – but it’s okay for the answer to be “no, you won’t regret it.” It’s okay for the answer to be that in the future, you’ll be glad that this distance let you be happier and healthier and to have a life in which you’re more fully yourself. And even if you decide you’d like to have a different relationship with them, there’s no reason this particular invitation has to be the vehicle for that.

        • Anon

          cbackson usually gives very good advice, but I split with her on this one.

          If you aren’t close with your family because you live a different life and feel judged for it, not attending this event will only exacerbate the situation. They will view it as more snobbishness from you, and, given that grandparents have very few birthdays left, it will come across as uncaring.

          Go to the event. If you must, come late. Ask lots of questions about them so you don’t have to talk about your different life. Give your grandmother a big hug. Hope she’s proud of you. You might regret going, but I think you would always regret not going.

          • cbackson

            I do think you’re right about how the family may view this – that’s probably the most likely scenario.

            I guess where I come down is that it’s up to the OP whether she cares about that, and whether she would regret this were, say, her grandmother to pass away shortly afterward. FWIW, I was not close at all to my grandparents and my only sadness when they passed was sadness for my parents – but people feel differently about these things.

            Family dynamics are so hard.

    • Anonymous

      If you are a grownup of even 20, your grandparents could be pretty old, no? It sounds like some sort of festive, perhaps milestone birthday. The next time you’d likely see all of these people together is at your grandparents’ funeral. In that case, I’d go to the party. The other people will dilute the issues you have with your mom.

    • Anonymous

      People from normal families will always tell you that communicating with and spending time with your family is “the right thing to do.” They can’t possibly understand why going no-contact could ever be a healthy decision. Only you know what the best decision is given your unique circumstances. Don’t second-guess yourself just because someone else tells you that you have some sort of obligation to these people who make you feel badly about yourself. On the other hand, if you’d regret not spending time with your grandparents, that would be a legitimate reason to consider attending. Again, only you know if the tradeoff is worth it.

      • Anonymous

        +1

        I have had to cut off a family member and for most people it’s unimaginable. But they don’t know the story.

      • anon

        I also have almost no contact with my mom due to a long history of abuse (though I do have good relationships with my mom’s side of the family). I would encourage OP, if you haven’t already, to try to get therapy to work through these issues–not necessarily to resume contact, but it seems like you might benefit from a space to work through your thoughts and feelings about this. It’s been hugely helpful for me in general, and specifically to the point here, I feel much more confident in navigating precisely these types of situations.

      • Senior Attorney

        +1

        I only had one grandparent but she was awful and I would most definitely no regret missing her birthday party.

    • Anon

      Only go if YOU want to go. Forget what your mom says or what’s the “right” thing or what you “should” do. If you want to spend time with your grandparents, but not at this party, arrange a lunch date with them the following weekend.

    • Anonymous

      If you do not have a relationship with your grandparents, I don’t think you have any obligation to go.

      • Lana Del Raygun

        Yes, and on the other hand, if you do (or wish you did), you shouldn’t let the issue with your mom keep you from them.

    • Anonymous

      This isn’t the question you asked, but something about your partner telling you that attending a function with your estranged family is -the right thing to do- really rubs me the wrong way. Maybe I’m projecting. Ime, people who come from functional families have a really tough time empathizing with people who don’t. They think that the way they interact with their normal happy family is the way you should interact with yours. They have zero concept of how important it is for you to establish and maintain very carefully chosen boundaries to protect yourself.

      Do what you need to do to protect your boundaries. Do you have an OK relationship with your grandparents? If so then maybe you can go early before many people get there and say hi to them, then use work as an excuse to leave.

      • Anonymous

        OTOH, sometimes a SO is a good person to tell you to get over something and see the bigger picture.

        You didn’t say your mom was a bunny boiler, just that the phone thing wasn’t all warm and fuzzy. Are you being hard on her b/c she is a mom? My dad is not Mr. Telephone (and never texts or anything) and if I let that torpedo our relationship, I’d hope my SO would give me a good shove.

        Different thing for people who are overtly bad (we had an inlaw in our family once who was Uncle Handsy with pubescent girls; totally different situation IMO).

      • Anonymous

        Yes, I think this warrants a conversation with the partner at some point (maybe not right now).

    • Anonymous

      How is your relationship with your grandparents? Do you care about them?

      That is the only question in my mind.

    • Horse Crazy

      I think you should consider whether or not you’re going to regret not going to the birthday party. If you’re going to be happy with the decision not to go, then by all means, don’t go. But if it seems like a logistical nightmare now, but in a year or two or more, you look back and think, “I really wish I had gone to that party”, then maybe you should reconsider not going. I’m currently in the middle of making some difficult decisions re: family as well, and this is the thought process I’m trying to use.

  10. Scotland

    I’m going to Scotland this summer. Are knee-high, Hunter style rain boots absolutely necessary? I have waterproof hiking boots that are… normal hiking boot height? like an inch or two past my ankles? I’m trying to pack light so I’d prefer to not take tall boots, but also don’t want to hike around the highlands wishing I’d made room for them. I also have ankle rain boots that I was considering bringing for wearing around cities… but I can just wear Allbirds and hope my feet don’t get too wet right? Help me make decisions!

    • Cb

      Hunter boots are terrible to do any sort of walking in and are so, so heavy. I live in Edinburgh and when I’m up north, I wear proper hiking boots, Sperry duck boots, or trail runners that dry quick if they get wet.

    • Anonymous

      No. I think the ankle boots are fine. I wouldn’t bring all birds though they are terrible in rain!

      • OP

        Oh no that’s terrible news re allbirds! I have a pair of the new non-wool ones, do you think they’d fare better in rain?

        • Scarlett

          I’m the biggest allbirds fan but they aren’t rain shoes. Got caught in the rain in wool ones once and it was like wearing a wet sock.

      • LAJen

        Agreed here–I went all over Scotland in June and it POURED in Edinburgh and was muddy/boggy hiking the highlands and Skye (though absolutely stunningly gorgeous). I was very grateful to have both waterproof hiking/trail runners and waterproof knee high walking boots (think stylish flat riding boots, but waterproof) for Edinburgh. I wore those two exclusively and was both comfortable and stylish. I only regretted not bringing heels for one night out in Edinburgh at some of the more posh places. Allbirds and/or any other non-waterproof shoes just would not have worked given the conditions.

    • cbackson

      I wouldn’t take rain boots for hiking, because the support/traction will be poor, regardless of where you are/what time of year it is.

    • anonanon

      I hiked in the Highlands in July in regular height Keens and it was just fine other than one soaking wet day. That night we ended up drying our shoes with a hair dryer.

    • Anonymous

      Do not wear hunter boots you will be so miserable. Aim for something shorter, I like lace-up duck boot style that hit above the ankle bone. Waterproof sole and resistant upper should be fine.

    • AlsoAnon

      I went to Scotland in August a couple of years ago. I wore hiking boots (the above ankle kind) everywhere. They were a little extra for most days when we were in the car or walking around town (the weather was very nice except for an all day driving day when it stormed). I just didn’t want to bother packing a bunch of pairs of shoes. If you want more than one option, I’d recommend hiking boots and your allbirds. Wear the allbirds in Edinburgh/Aberdeen/puttering around town. Wear hiking boots in the Hebrides, Glasgow and on your standing stone excursions. Enjoy! It’s beautiful.

  11. Lana Del Raygun

    Huh, I usually think belted shirt dresses look crisp and put-together but this one seems floppy and weird. It’s not quite in the “wearing my husband’s enormous shirt” zone, but it’s getting close.

    • cake batter

      I think it’s the droopy, flappy sleeves. The ones I think are work appropriate are usually better fitting than this one to avoid the “stole my man’s shirt” effect.

      • Housecounsel

        I agree. Also, I don’t need extra fabric at my rib level making me look wider.

    • Baconpancakes

      Yes, agree. This is one of the less office-appropriate shirt dresses I’ve seen.

      That said, I love it, and would wear the heck out of it on the weekend.

    • Anonymous

      I actually like this better than most shirt dresses styles I’ve seen, in part because it is droopy/drapey. Crisp styles just…never seem to work for me. Structured, sure; crisp, no. I think it’s also due to the straighter cut skirt that didn’t go wild with the shirttail hem.

  12. anon

    I learned some bad news at work today. Our chief of staff is trying to force my boss into early retirement. Given her disengagement during the past year and some mistakes she’s made, this is a plausible scenario and doesn’t surprise me at all. If that happens, I know exactly who will lobby to oversee me and my team — and I have zero desire to work for this person. He has bullied others to their breaking point, but because he’s effective, he’s untouchable. I have a decent relationship with him, but that’s honestly not comforting. I think the dynamic would be very different if he were my boss. I want to throw up right now. :(

    • Anon

      Hug from an internet stranger?

      My only advice is to spruce up your resume and look into different positions in your own company or other jobs at other companies. Okay, that’s my second piece of advice. My first piece of advice involves a long walk at lunch, a Starbucks, scheduling a drink after work with some of your friends, or similar.

      • anon

        I was looking last fall, stopped because I figured switching would just bring on new problems, but this might be the kick I need to fully leave.

  13. Paris Pictures

    cross-posting from mom’s site.
    Planning and Shopping help for family pictures!

    My family is traveling to Paris in May — YAY — and taking our first every family pictures. My daughters are 3 and 2. we are taking pics at the Eiffel Tower, because we are just touristy like that! The pics are at 7am — hello, jet lag!

    Anyway, any thoughts on color schemes that work well together? (husband is dark and I am light. girls are in between with dark hair.) I think the girls should wear bright colours and my husband and I go with complementing neutrals, but I don’t even know what that means. I am horrible at fashion. I want the girls in “twirly” dresses, but not sure whether husband should wear a suit and I should wear a dress (which I do not own, FYI), or just separates?

    ANY ideas would be so appreciated. Particulary re: color palettes and thoughts on dressiness needed. Also, it’s Paris in May at 7am. We all need long sleeves, right?

    • Anonymous

      Yes, long sleeves.

      Maybe not your vibe, but check out the family matching options at Hanna Anderssen. It may give you ideas of travel-friendly comfy outfits in coordinating colors (perhaps that you own already). Also, may have options for you and your children (can get cheaper but similar options at Lands End often).

      Not a suit for your husband — suits and children don’t read right unless it’s a wedding.

      Signed,
      used to be a photog

    • Anonymous

      If you don’t even own a dress why buy one for this? You won’t look like you!

      • Paris Pictures

        I guess that’s fair. I do wear skirts a lot at work, just no dresses. but good point!

    • Cb

      I’d look at mom bloggers to see if you could get some inspiration for family photo shoots. Maybe Everyday Reading, Love Taza etc. But don’t stray too far away from your normal style, you want to look like yourself.

    • Anon.

      I actually think every person wearing an outfit that fits their personality/style and in complementary colors to their complexion looks best. I always found the matchy matchy family shoots really staged and awkward. Plus, if your family has drastically different coloring, you want to avoid washing some people in the group out (speaking as someone with one parent having Michael Jackson’s color in the winter and the other having Gabrielle Union’s color at the lightest – not all colors mix well with such drastic skin tone differences, especially if the undertones are different).

      • Paris Pictures

        it is so true. I am very pasty and my husband is quite dark. maybe that’s why i’m making this so hard?

        • busybee

          What about contrasting but coordinating colors? Like (for example) navy and white? He can wear a white shirt and navy pants so the white shirt will be a nice contrast against his skin. You can wear a navy shirt and white skirt (or pants) so the navy will be a nice contrast against your skin. Girls could wear navy and white dresses. Or something along those lines? Keeps things coordinated without being matchy-matchy, and you can adjust based on what’s flattering for your different skin tones.

    • Trixie

      7 am? two little children? find another photographer and a new time! So stressful to do this to your family during a vacation!

      • Anonymous

        This. Have a hard look at your timeline. Unless you are staying right next to the location, getting up at 5am after international travel in order to make at 7am shoot on time will result in pictures of exhausted parents and grumpy or sleeping kids. 7am in Paris is 1am in NYC.

      • Paris Pictures

        This was my fault for mentioning the jet lag. I was mainly meaning for me! Kids have been to Europe more than ten times (this is third for Paris) and adjust like a champ! The pictures are on our third day there. So, they will be fine.

        I know I’m so lucky that the kids adjust so quickly. But we travel a ton. My work requires me to travel and my husband is a SAHD for now, so they typically travel with me.

    • Pesh

      Some schemes friends have done that have looked great:
      -Pale Blue (Chambray type color)/Blush/Gray/Cream
      -Deep Magenta/Navy/Deep Yellow/Gray
      -Coral/Gray/White

      A lot of what makes the color combinations look good is ensuring they’re the same type of saturation.

  14. Anon

    Has anyone had any luck reselling bridesmaid dresses? It’s not one I’ll wear again (when is it ever) and I’d be delighted to recoup even half the costs. Should I try eBay?

    • tesyaa

      I doubt you’ll get much cash on eBay unless it’s a design/designer that’s in a lot of demand, or conversely, if it’s a very simple, classic style in a neutral and doesn’t look bridesmaidy.

    • Minted?

      Def try Ebay! Especially if it’s from David’s Bridal or is from a common bridesmaid dress line. Be sure to detail any tailoring you had done that would affect the consumer (ex – hemmed to a certain length). If you can’t sell it, donate it to Project Cinderella or another charity that helps girls in need get Prom dresses.

    • anonanon

      Nope – but you can donate it to one of the places that provides prom dresses to girls in need. I have done that with a LOT of bridesmaid dresses.

      • Anon

        That’s a good idea. Considering I got two prom dresses from one of those places myself, it would be good to give back. I wasn’t personally in need, but my low-income high school made us all eligible, so it’s probably even more important to pay it forward.

      • Anon

        I know there is a non-profit or group that makes gowns using donated wedding dresses for babies that were still born at birth or passed away very early to be used for burial , called angel gowns or something.

  15. anon

    Low-stakes question for Tuesday: help me decide on a dress for a rehearsal dinner next week? It’s “dressy casual,” but they’ve specifically requested that people try to wear bright colors.

    My options are a navy Lily sheath (similar to this, festive but obviously not bright: https://www.lillypulitzer.com/product/11528.uts?swatchName=True+Navy) and a coral lace sundress (same vibe, but in cotton so not sure if it’s too casual: https://www.freepeople.com/shop/just-like-honey-mini-dress-41558305/).

    I’m already spending $$ on being a bridesmaid, so I really don’t want to have to pay for another new dress. Thoughts? I’m really stuck on this one for some reason!

    • Anonymous

      Omg Stop. Srsly? You do not get to request “bright colors” for a reversal dinner, they need to get over themselves. Coral sundress is perfect.

      • Torin

        What, yes, agree, you don’t get to tell people what to wear to your freaking rehearsal dinner.

      • Anonymous

        Idk it sounds like they were just trying to clarify what dressy casual means. Would you prefer if they’d called it, resort wear? fancy brunch attire? preppy? Any of those evokes an image of brightly colored, maybe floral print, dresses without specifically stating, wear bright colors.

      • anon

        It was a request, not a command, and I promise that my friend is the absolute opposite of Bridezilla! It’s also a fusion Western/Indian wedding, and from what I understand there are some different norms around the colors that would be appropriate to wear to an Indian wedding.

        • nutella

          This makes a lot more sense. It sounds like you are doing the Sangeet/rehearsal dinner. In which case the coral dress is perfect! Expect to have a lot of fun dancing!

    • Anonymous

      The coral one. No one will be too focused on what you’re wearing, so don’t worry about it too much!

    • Anonymous

      Why are they telling people what to wear to the rehearsal dinner? This would make me want to wear black in protest.

      • Really?

        Wearing black when someone specifically requested bright colors (i.e. every possible color other than black or dark shade) is so passive aggressive and petty. You would look like an ass, not the requester. Don’t be that person.

        • Linda from HR

          +1 deliberately going against someone’s request because you don’t like it is incredibly childish. The rehearsal dinner is part of the wedding, you should show the couple the same amount of respect you would during the ceremony and reception. They’re asking people to avoid black, who except an angsty goth teenager would really balk at that?

    • Anon.

      Guys, please don’t have a conniption over this request. A request, not a mandate, to wear a general category of clothes that MOST people probably own is perfectly acceptable. They are not mandating everyone to wear red dresses, or all white, just any array of colors that are not dark or somber. Would you say the same if a family requested no bright colors at a funeral? NO. Chill out.

      Coral is find, or wear something you already have. If you don’t have right clothing, wear something neutral with bright accents (scarf, statement necklace/earrings, belt, or shoes) or even a hair accessory.

      • anon

        Yes, I wasn’t anticipating the backlash on this! This was a polite request (not an order) from a dear friend that I’m happy to accommodate, both because she’s a treasured and supportive member of Team Me and because I don’t want to accidentally do something that would offend her future in-laws.

        I really was just looking for feedback on how to weight the more event-appropriate navy dress vs. the more color-appropriate casual option.

      • Linda from HR

        +1 the reactions here seem like a bit much, sounds like a lot of nasty wedding snark to me.

        I guess people get to a certain point where they’re tired of weddings, new babies, and all the parties having to do with them. They’re sick of brides making requests of their guests (the horror) and couples having an idea of what they’d prefer to get at an event where presents are traditionally involved (how evil of them), and they’re looking for any excuse to vent some of that annoyance and frustration. I’m not “there” yet but maybe one day I will be. It just seems unnecessarily mean to criticize people you don’t know, over decisions they’ve made, that are steeped in personal and cultural stuff you’re not aware of, but what do I know?

        • anon

          Wow, Linda, this was a pretty snide post (specifically your last sentence) to complain about other people being snide. Also, full of assumptions.

    • Anonymous

      Either is fine. I prefer the navy but I’m not a coral fan for anything.

      A lot of posters seem to think it’s a big ask but I disagree as for this kind of event, everyone usually picks their go-to LBD. Most people have a dress that is a color other than black or white so it’s just a matter of grabbing one dress instead of another. I’m guessing they’re wanting to take a group picture and those ‘pop’ better if everyone isn’t wearing dark colors.

      • Torin

        It’s not a question of the size of the ask (though I contest your point that most people have things in your wardrobe that fit this ask; I don’t) or the reason for it. It’s obvious they think the pictures will look better. This is just, not a thing you get to dictate to other people.

        • Anonymous

          Exactly. It’s part of a culture of prioritizing photo-worthiness over real life.

          • anon

            No, not in this case! Perhaps I should have mentioned it in the OP, but my friend is marrying into an Indian family. From what I understand it would be quite rude to wear black to an Indian wedding event. I promise you that they are not prioritizing photo-worthiness over real life.

        • Anonymous

          They’re not dictating – they didn’t say people couldn’t come if they didn’t or that the bright colors were mandatory. They just asked that people ‘try’.

          While you may own only dark clothing, I think it’s a reasonable assumption that most people have a bright colored dress, top or scarf they could wear so the ask isn’t that big.

          Invites used to regularly specific the dress code – black tie, white tie, casual, western, whatever – it’s not a new ‘photo culture’ thing to ask your guests to dress in a certain way.

        • Anon

          I doubt it’s for pictures if it’s a rehearsal dinner dress code. Not many people have a professional photog for that event. I bet it’s just something the bride and groom want because they like bright colors or they think it fits the venue.

        • Anonymous

          If they’re Indian, this is about culture not photos. Bright colors are traditional at Indian events and I don’t think it’s unreasonable to communicate that to non-Indians.

          • Lana Del Raygun

            Yeah, if I didn’t know and then showed up in an LBD I’d feel awkward and wish someone had tipped me off.

    • Blonde Lawyer

      I went to a wedding WEEKEND (we all stayed on site) where we were requested to wear no black all weekend, including shoes/ accessories. I thought it was totally ridiculous. That said, the pictures did come out really really awesome. It is bright and sunny and fun and there is something that just looks different when there is zero black. That said, the marriage was over in less than 6 months so, shrug.

    • biglawanon

      I would wear a dress I already have that is fairly bright colored, or throw on a bright scarf or necklace (assuming already owned) if all you own are dark colors. Otherwise, I would wear what you have.

      I personally hate when people make these requests/demands, assuming everyone has this. I once received a mandate to wear “earthtones” for a group photo days before the photo. I literally owned zero earthtones, am a very hard to fit size, and ended up spending hundreds of dollars on the few things I could find locally that fit me. Very annoying.

      • Linda from HR

        I do get that. Any time I’m in a group dance performance, I bug the choreographer about costumes a few weeks before the performance. “Hey Jane, what are you thinking of for costumes? I want to make sure I have time to shop if I don’t own anything suitable.” Of course, she often doesn’t know yet, but at least this reminds her that not everyone owns all the things, and prevents her from springing it on us a few days beforehand.

    • Anonymous

      I’m in a similar wedding (maybe the same wedding? that would be funny! Is the reception held at a big ol’ garden in the south?) and I’d totally wear either of these to the rehearsal/sangeet!

      It’s okay to give a shit and want to fit in with what the bride wants, especially in this circumstance. I wouldn’t intentionally buck the system at a good friend’s wedding just to prove a point, especially when the bride is a good friend and has mostly made reasonable requests /shrug

  16. Minted?

    Does anyone have a Minted coupon code? Or know if they have sales? There’s a piece of oversized art I’ve been coveting, but with framing it’s over my budget!

    • Veronica Mars

      Not a coupon code, but anthro buyers go to Skyline Art Editions (Starla Michelle, Katie Dunkle and Spring Whittaker pieces have all been bought out and carried by Anthro) for their home section and their GIANT framed pieces are much more competitive than minted. I know the artists aren’t the same, but wanted to leave the rec if you’re looking for more large art options.

  17. LifeScienceMBA

    I have a hairdresser appointment tomorrow, and I want some change.

    My hair is golden-medium brown, thick and wavy. I have a short asymmetrical bob that is longer in the front on one side of my face (about chin-length), the other side is pretty short (ear-lobe length). I usually straighten it, but now my hair is very dry and summer is coming with lots of humidity, so the frizz will be awful. I would love to embrace my waves somehow. Maybe I should grow the short bob out?

    Anyone has ideas/ inspiration for easy to maintain hairstyles?

    • Anon

      After years of trying shorter styles thinking they’d be “easier”, I’ve finally accepted that my wavy hair is actually much more low maintenance when it’s long. It’s counter-intuitive I know, but it just lays better (and comes with the option to wear it up.)

      • Anonymous

        +1 – SHort is fine for a while, but my long, dark brown, wavy hair is easier when long. The weight pulls out some of the wave, I can pull in up in a ponytail or a bun pretty easy.

        You’ll want to be sure to moisturize/condition the ends of your hair consistently to avoid split ends.

      • Horse Crazy

        YES ABSOLUTELY 100%. The few times my very thick and wavy hair has been shorter, it’s been terrible. I could never style it right, because as Anon said, the layers just don’t work. I just ended up wearing a ponytail or a bun almost every day until it grew out enough. Longer is so much easier.

      • Anonymous

        +1. My thick, wavy hair is so much more manageable when it is long. The weight pulls down the waves and the length helps it lay nicely since it is so thick. The times I have cut it short took me much longer to style.

      • Anonymous

        Same.

        OP, take this as an opportunity to update your hair style as well – an asymmetrical bob like you’re describing is really out of date.

    • LifeScienceMBA

      Thanks to all, I guess I’ll consider growing it out again. The chin length choppy bob style could maybe work well even with textured hair. I do condition my hair every time and only wash it every other day.
      Thing is, my hair has never been longer than shoulder-length, and it’s been short for a while, so I’ll definitely have to get used to longer hair again.

      Any pointers to good websites with lots of hairstyle pics?

      • KittieBiscuits

        Try a google image search, and screenshot your favorites. I also pick a few i do not like, just to give a full picture to my stylist.
        I.e. yes, these are ones i like, but this one is too short and this one the curls look too gelled, etc

  18. Anonymous

    Traveling for work and realized I’ve gone full online-business-traveler/corpor e t t e basic b*itch look today – Away suitcase, Seville with travel sleeve, MM.LaFleur jardigan, and Rothy’s loafers. Can’t say I’m mad about it

  19. hopefully anon for this, given how much I revealed

    I thought whoever recommended Outten & Golden to me a few weeks ago – or maybe anyone who works for law firms generally – might be interested in my experience. I called and said I wanted to talk to a lawyer about my employment situation. They connected me to an intake person who asked a lot of personal questions and said a lawyer would be calling me.

    I said, it’s a lot easier for me to schedule a call than to sit and wait for one – I work in a shared space with zero privacy, and it could take ~15 minutes for me to get on the elevator and hustle down to the street, which is noisy and cold and so on. He said the lawyer would email to schedule a time. I got an email from a secretary telling me a time, I wrote back to say I have a commitment then, and we settled on a later time. I left my desk 10 minutes before the scheduled time, found a private spot in the office and sat and waited. No call for ~15 minutes after the appointed time. When I got back to my desk, half an hour later, I suggested we re-schedule. She came back with a time for Monday, and the same thing happened. In this case I didn’t bother to email – and some secretary called more than an hour later to say that attorney had gotten held up on a phone call and wanted to re-schedule. I did not reply to the voicemail.

    Is this normal for lawyers or is this a specifically unprofessional firm? It makes me feel very vulnerable having given lots of personal information to the intake people but I don’t want to work with these people.

    • Anon.

      This is normal for a busy lawyer who doesn’t have the best time management skills. However, sometimes, calls do really run over, and the choice of having to run to an established client meeting/call over pushing the entire day back to talk to a potential low reward client (low reward based on amount of money they could make from you) is generally not worth it to piss off existing clients.

    • Anonymous

      I’m a lawyer and I would never do this to a client. I have clients stand me up for calls sometimes, but I’ve never stood a client up for one. This lawyer sounds disorganized and not someone that I would personally want handling anything for me, let alone a personal claim like yours.

    • Anonymous

      Intake/call schedule process sounds normal. Once I’d understand for missed call. 2nd time, I’d look elsewhere. Anon at 10:41 is right about why it happens but it should have been handled better – like assistant calling you in advance of 2nd missed call when it looked like lawyer was running behind.

      • hopefully anon for this, given how much I revealed

        Yeah. that’s how I feel. I understand the established client vs. new client tradeoff, but… not like this.

      • Anonymous

        +1 for normal. Most plaintiffs firms aren’t staffed with a bunch of people to help client relations. You want someone good and if they are, I’d overlook intake scheduling. It’s a trade off that’s common with small, solo type businesses.

  20. SLC parks?

    Any recommendations for National Parks (or state) to visit on a day trip from Salt Lake City? Looking for something with cool sights and not super strenuous in terms of hiking needed. Preferably <2 hours of driving.

    Also, this seems like a really basic question, but how do I visit the actual Salt Lake next to the city? Is there a good place to drive to to "see" it? Thanks!

    • anon a mouse

      Go to Antelope Island, which is actually in the Great Salt Lake.

      Park City is less than 2 hours (traffic depending), and there are a lot of hikes around there. If you are coming from sea level, be sure to take altitude precautions (extra water, plan for lots of extra time).

    • Anonymous

      Look up trails around the Wasatch mountains, right outside of the city. Lots of beautiful trails. You could also head to Park City. Alltrails dot com has pretty good reviews of trails, especially out west. People post updates on trail conditions and all that stuff. This time of year you do still have to worry about snow a bit.

    • Greensleeves

      So we’re heading to SLC this summer for a kids’ athletic event and I’ve been researching National Parks and planning our trip. I’m happy to share some of the items I have on my list! Most of the National Parks are 4+ hours away, so I’m not sure those will work for you. There is Cottonwood Canyon that looks to be 30 minutes or less from town, with hiking, rock climbing, etc. The Bonneville Salt Flats are about 1 1/2 hours away. Antelope Island is one of the bigger islands in the lake and has hiking, biking and wildlife. There are also a number of ski areas outside SLC that offer beautiful views and cute little ski towns, but I have no idea whether there is also hiking there. Hope this helps!

      • Portia

        It’s Utah – there’s hiking everywhere :)

        OP, the red rocks/arches/slot canyons are several hours from Salt Lake, but there are some lovely granite, forested mountains right around the city (Big and Little Cottonwood Canyons, as Greensleeves mentions, are great). For people who aren’t used to hiking, in Salt Lake I’d recommend Ensign Peak, Living Room, Dog Lake, Cecret Lake, or Lake Catherine/Lake Mary, because they’re (relatively) short, (relatively) less physically demanding, and popular enough you won’t get lost or stranded. Ensign Peak and Living Room are on the north side of SLC and provide gorgeous views of the city/valley (you can see the Great Salt Lake from Ensign Peak), while Dog Lake, Cecret Lake, Lake Catherine/Mary are on the East side of SLC and trade off views for more scenic trails (instead of hiking through brush, you’ll be hiking through forest and, if you time it right, fields of wildflowers).

        For a day trip it can be really fun to drive to Sundance (about an hour from Salt Lake), where you can take the ski lift up to the waterfall, and then just hike down the mountain from there (much easier than a round trip hike). Some of the ski resorts in Park City have similar hikes, minus the waterfall. Antelope Island is another fun destination, especially if you’re interested in the lake, or you might want to check out the Spiral Jetty (a huge stone art installation on the north side of the lake [about 2.5 hours from SLC] and one of the most Instagram perfect things I’ve ever seen).

        • Anonymous

          I’ve had good luck with my Treasure & Bond black jeans. A Nordstrom line. Great jeans for the price, especially for pear shapes, and often on sale.

          And for black jeans, I do a few things to preserve the dark color. Search online for the exact “recipe”, but I soak them before I wear them in diluted vinegar + a bit of salt. I always wash them turned inside out on delicate cycle. I never put them in the dryer. And I wash them as little as possible. Black jeans are very forgiving and unless you a rolling in the dirt, no need to wash for quite awhile.

    • anonanon

      I wear the Athleta ponte to work but they’re super comfy and good for the weekend too.

  22. Two Cents

    I ordered and returned a Marycrafts dress that so many on here recommend. It was a nice dress for the price certainly, but I didn’t care for the fabric, which was a ponte knit with a short of sheen. On the plus side, the fabric is not flimsy at all. I ordered one size up and that worked out well. Passing along my experience in case it’s helpful.

  23. Legally Brunette

    I see that this dress is sold out but I wanted to say that I’m really loving this brand. It’s a great brand especially if you’re looking for cute clothes on the weekends, which I seem to never have. I purchased a wrap top and another more fitted top — highly recommend trying it out.

  24. Legally Brunette

    Can a zipper be replaced on a leather handbag? My Ted Baker black leather tote that I have used for the last 2 years now has a faulty zipper, it gets stuck often. Can a zipper be replaced and any idea how much this might cost? I’m in DC if anyone has suggestions on where to go. Thanks!!

    • Ouch! That hurts

      A shoemaker might …. I’ve tried to have one redone for years on a leather bag from Spain … to no luck.

      Or a place that has custom leather belts and other goods?

    • AL

      I’d check with a shoe repair shop. They may or may not be willing to replace (i.e. it might cost more to do than the bag is worth), but I’ve had luck with non-working zippers being cleaned (on riding boots, no less) and becoming functional again.

    • Anon

      Is in an invisible zipper or is there a little zipper material sticking out? If there is some material, a tailor may be able to attach a new zipper to that instead of attaching to leather. This would be faster to do and would cost you about $30. There may be minor cosmetic issues. Attaching to leather is totally possible since the holes are already there, but unpicking the lining, attaching, and resewing the lining all have to be done by hand with leather, so that will run you maybe $80. A shoe repair shop will have a leather sewing station and may be able to do it cheaper but it depends how much detail is involved. Look for a shoe repairman that also does luggage repair. They will have everything to do this for around $40 and it will look like new.

  25. nuqotw

    My preschooler picked out my shoes and scarf for work yesterday and did a way better job than my initial attempt. It also mollified him when it came time for me to insist that he wear clothes to preschool.

      • Lana Del Raygun

        This actually would not surprise me at all. Every toddler I know has gone through a “Today I naked!!!” phase.

        • Anon in NYC

          lol. My kid went through a thankfully brief phase where she would strip down in her preschool class and yell at her teachers when they tried to get her to keep her clothes on. So yeah, it’s a thing.

          • Lana Del Raygun

            My brother used to declare that IT’S NAKEY TIME and sprint through the house in his birthday suit, usually right after a bath so he was slippery and hard to catch.

      • Anonymous

        have you met preschoolers? Getting them dressed in weather appropriate clothings is not for the faint of heart.

      • Anonymous

        I play in a community band and my husband is the conductor. At our last concert, our 5yo was sitting in the front row. In the middle of a piece of music, she stepped into the aisle and shrugged off her sweater. She then hiked up her dress, peeled off her tights, and stood there meticulously turning them right side out and folding them back up.

  26. Golf

    I don’t wear shorts. They just don’t work for me- tall, small waist, big hips- they are always tight in the legs, loose in the waist at ride up. What should I wear to attend a golf outing- not playing, just observing, but there will be lots of business colleagues?

    • Anonymous

      A knee-length cotton skirt, flats or flat sandals or sneaks, a polo shirt or cotton sweater or half zip. Or casual pants. Themey but business appropriate.

    • Anonny

      Will you be riding around in the cart and just not playing? Or are you watching a tournament/group play with a gathering of people?

    • Horse Crazy

      We have an annual golf tournament with work, and I never ever play. Last year, I wore pale pink ankle pants and a white blouse tucked in with wedge flats (1″ wedge). I had a blazer in the morning because it was cold but I ditched it halfway through the day.

    • nutella

      The best thing you can do is dress appropriately. Even if there are men that aren’t playing alongside you, I can guarantee they will be in golf attire. So you will want to fit in. That means appropriately protected from the elements – a hat, sunscreen, sunglasses if it is sunny. You don’t want to be the one who burns to a crisp. Alternatively, that means an umbrella or windbreakers for rain or clouds. No need to wear shorts if you don’t want! You can wear non-jean pants (assuming this is a private event, and even if not, it depends on what your colleagues are wearing and if you’d like to fit in) or a skirt or dress that isn’t too fussy. Finally, appropriate shoes. If you are going to be walking on any grass, sandals or boat shoes *could* work, but if there is any hill or dampness on the grass, they will slide and wedges run the risk of twisting an ankle in grass. I’d do white sneakers, especially since even men I know who golf maaaaaaybe once a year somehow still manage to have golf shoes.

      • Golf

        Thanks everyone- I will probably do the skirt rec with polo and cute sneakers. I will be riding around in the cart. Last year, I wore a dress and felt overdressed. I had some comments to the effect of- you aren’t even pretending to play golf?

    • anon

      If your outfit falls under a broad definition of preppy (not jeans and clean cut), you should be fine. Will you actually be going out on the course or just hanging out in the clubhouse? Walking or riding on a cart? I can get breezy out on course, so just monitor what kind of dress or skirt you wear. Or go with a chinos look, or ankle pants and boat shoes. If you’re not going on course, a low wedge is fine, a loafer works if you’re going to be in a cart, or a comfortable walking shoe if you’re walking. Whatever you do, don’t allow yourself to become a glorified beverage cart girl, you’re there to do business.

  27. Anonymous

    It an office building bans space heaters, is it safe to assume it bans similar items that plug in to an outlet and heat up? I’m thinking an electric blanket or seat pad. I just started a new job and the office is unbearably cold. I’m dressed very warm, and still my hands are icicles and my nose is constantly running from the cold temp. There’s not a way to raise the temp.

    • Op

      Any other advice on keeping warm welcome! I’d like to be able to dress seasonally appropriate but honestly don’t know how in this office

      • Elegant Giraffe

        Drink hot water/other beverages. Warm yourself from the inside – it really does work!

    • Linda from HR

      I wouldn’t assume that. I’d assume there’s someone who knows the policy well enough to tell you whether those things are allowed. Space heaters are a fire hazard and tend to use a lot of electricity, but an electric blanket, seat warmer, warming booties or gloves that plug into a USB port, are far less likely to cause the same problems as space heaters.

    • Rainbow Hair

      My CEO lives in fear of a space heater burning the place down, so I have a plain ol’ blanket at work. It was a gift from a vendor, and it’s nice looking (and light colored so I don’t take it home). I wrap it over my lap when it’s freezing.

    • Anon

      Unless you work somewhere that bans all appliances for data-security reasons, you should be fine with a “better to ask forgiveness than permission” approach to an electric blanket.

    • Sunshine

      We aren’t allowed to bring our own heaters to work, but we can request a heater and they’ll supply one. You may want to ask.

    • Horse Crazy

      Ugh that was for Anonymous above who asked about keeping warm at work.

  29. Pinstripe suit?

    Any pinstripe suit recommendations? My dad thinks they’re just the most important thing ever (although now that I think about it, he definitely doesn’t have one) and he wants to buy me one for my birthday. I would wear one, so I might as well accept his offer.

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