ByElizabeth Hours Updated
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Thursday’s Workwear Report: Belted Short-Sleeve Shirtdress

A woman wearing a belted white shirtdress and brown sandals

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

This short-sleeved shirtdress from Zoe and Claire is a great under-$100 option for hot summer days. It’s not lined, so you may want to consider wearing a slip for extra coverage. (They’re a little harder to find these days, but I’ve had something like this in my closet for years and years.)

I would wear this to the office with a pair of loafers or mules and bring a sweater blazer just in case the air conditioning is running at full blast. 

The dress is $78 and comes in sizes S–XL. It’s also available in white and mocha. 

For a wider size range, try this dress from J.Crew — it's available in white and black in 00–24 for $168. (Note that the smocking at the waist makes it a bit more casual.)

Sales of note for 12.13

  • Nordstrom – Beauty deals on skincare including Charlotte Tilbury, Living Proof, Dyson, Shark Pro, and gift sets!
  • Ann Taylor – 50% off everything, including new arrivals (order via standard shipping for 12/23 expected delivery)
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Eloquii – 400+ styles starting at $19
  • J.Crew – Up to 60% off almost everything + free shipping (12/13 only)
  • J.Crew Factory – 50% off everything and free shipping, no minimum
  • Macy's – $30 off every $150 beauty purchase on top brands
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off, plus free shipping on everything (and 20% off your first order)
  • Talbots – 50% off entire purchase, and free shipping on $99+

219 Comments

  1. Managers – how much do you dress up for Zoom calls? I work for a pretty casual company but growing up definitely had the “dress like the boss if you are/want to be the boss” idea instilled into me.

    1. Depends on the day and internal vs external call. I’m a VP and work from home. I do a lot of cotton blouses and wear makeup. External will possibly have a sweater jacket or blazer. Internal low key day might be a t shirt. I think makeup is key—a deliberate lip goes a long way.

      1. I do a lot of the deliberate lip. Even if others aren’t wearing make up it makes me feel more put together.

        1. I don’t bother with lipstick day to day but I do for video calls. It makes a big difference on video. (Maybe it makes a big difference in person too and I’m just in denial but imma continue to be in denial about this one.)

          1. I agree that lip color makes more of a difference on video than in person close up. (If you are on stage giving a big presentation to a large audience you do need lip color.) On the other hand, eyeliner and mascara seem to make a bigger impact in person than on video.

          2. For me, brows and lip. I wear glasses but they don’t fully cover my brows. Brows and lips sort of bookend the face.

    2. I’m senior-ish and hope/expect to be fully senior soon and work from home. It depends on my audience. My actual coworkers are casual too so I don’t change if it’s internal. If it’s external or the actual CEO, if I’m wearing something super plain and neutral, like a plain black t-shirt that I wouldn’t hesitate to wear to the office with a nicer pant (even though at home I’m probably in joggers), I don’t change. If I’m in like, a heathered gray oversized sweatshirt, I’ll quickly switch into a nicer blouse (I actually keep a couple in my home office so it takes no time).

    3. I work in a casual end of business casual office. My boss (section supervisor) joins calls in hoodies. My branch chief joins in fleeces. My division director, when I see him in the office, is usually in jeans + polo or jeans + button down.

    4. I have these tops from banana republic in maroon, camel and black. I wear them for the call only and take them off as soon as I’m done. They don’t wash well so good for zoom calls because no one can see the defects online. I paid $40 not $80 and I would not spend more than that because the quality is meh. They are great at $40 for online though as they look smart from a distance.

      https://bananarepublic.gap.com/browse/product.do?pid=756884002&cid=5032&pcid=5032&vid=1&nav=hamnav%3Awomen%3AWomen%27s%20Clothing%3ASweaters&cpos=22&cexp=2252&kcid=CategoryIDs%3D5032&cvar=17249&ctype=Listing&cpid=res24060606836889472248446#pdp-page-content

    5. At a very minimum, I do not look sloppy. No hoodies, tank tops, etc. If with a client, I wear a blouse and makeup and do my hair (or at least the front of my hair!) like I would if I was in the office. I always particularly remember if someone looks sloppy, is wearing workout clothes, or whatever. I otherwise don’t really notice what someone is wearing. I think it’s fine to be more casual when you’re at home, but you need to look intentional and not like you just rolled out of bed. I’m the head of a practice group at a mid size law firm, so definitely the “boss”.

    6. SVP here, on zoom it doesn’t matter what your top is if your hair and makeup are sloppy or not polished. Focus on that, add a necklace or earrings and lipstick. I also find glasses help a look a lot, even just readers in stylish frames. Then enjoy your comfortable pants.

    7. I have a few collared blouses I put on with my yoga pants. I put on undereye brightener and mascara every morning, and keep lipstick and cream blush on my desk. I also have a claw clip and if my hair is less than groomed I throw it up in a clip. Also on the desk is a pretty thick gold necklace if I feel like I need something extra.

    8. I’m self employed as a consultant. So I’m a manager in that sense. I want to have a professional presence on my calls. For most meetings, I wear a top that isn’t a tee, something with an ok looking neckline, a sleek cardigan/jardigan or a collarless blazer.

      I also put on some makeup, especially lipstick, and try to make my hair look presentable – it’s in a claw clip off zoom a good amount of the time, but that doesn’t look great on zoom, so I usually brush it and wear it down for the call.

    9. A few cap sleeve tops from JCP that I can throw on and hang back up, earrings, and foundations with lipstick. Blush really stands out on zoom so I don’t wear it. Glasses cover my eyes anyway,.

  2. Because I know there are other here who have dealt with this, and my planner brain is handling waiting on the latest biopsy results by creating plans A-Z.

    For those of you who have dealt with a cancer diagnosis (I am specifically pending a is this breast cancer call but open to all experiences) and treatment while in big jobs, how did you handle the work piece of it? How much were you able to work in between more intensive treatments? How did you handle who knew what?

    I know this sounds like putting cart before the horse. But am at a point where this feels like when not if as this is not my first scare, but everyone seems more concerned this time plus a family history, so am past the emotional part and to the knowledge and a plan will settle my brain part. Hoping to hear back tomorrow, but if not then by Tuesday.

    1. I’m so sorry — the waiting is very hard. I don’t have the personal experience to offer you, but I thought I’d offer some possible to-do’s to help your brain part.

      I think this is what I’d do: first, find out what your company’s policy is around medical leave. Then I’d start mapping what your work will look like for the next month, three months, and six months. From that, see what could be delegated. Perhaps nothing will need delegation; I’m sure things depend on your specific experience. But this would be one start to getting ducks in a row.

    2. I’m sorry about the tension of waiting. I urge you not to jump to conclusions, though. You could spend hours, days, weeks gaming out terrible scenarios that never happen. It’s not good for you and it won’t decrease your stress. One day at a time – your plan can be “when the doctor calls, then I will decide what to do.” I speak from experience.

      1. Counter point – I manage stress and anxiety by disaster planning when I’m anticipating tough news because it gives me the illusion of control over otherwise uncontrollable circumstances. Nothing makes me feel more discombobulated than not having a plan. Doesn’t even have to be a good plan. I usually have a Plan B and Plan C too.

      2. It makes sense not to spiral into worries, but I think it’s wise to map out practicalities (information that can be important to know in general since bad diagnoses, injuries, etc. can happen overnight).

    3. I’m sorry. The waiting is very hard – I’ve been there too.
      I have two close friends who have been through this recently in demanding jobs (both breast cancer, although different kinds). They both had chemo and then radiation, but the surgery type and timing differed (one friend had a lumpectomy immediately, one had a mastectomy between chemo and radiation). They both kind of played it by ear, and each ended up continuing to work during chemo but but then taking some disability leave during radiation. For them, chemo meant 1-2 bad days per week (it seemed like there was decent help available to mitigate the side effects), but by the radiation stage – whether it was the radiation itself or the collective effect of all the treatment they had had already by then – they were constantly exhausted and really not up to work.
      With respect to sharing, I think it just varies by personality and work environment. One of my friends is a very private person and worked for a fairly toxic, unsupportive company, so she told as few people as she could (her direct manager and his direct manager and HR, basically). The other is much more open to sharing personal things in general and she had a really supportive, tight-knit department, so she shared openly. I think both of them would say they made the right choice under their circumstances.

    4. So, hugs. If it’s bad news, you are not yet to a treatment plan. It is typically not a mad rush, even though you want it be. You are entering perhaps a month of limbo, where you have more tests, those tests may beget more biopsies, and perhaps more tests. This is difficult because you have to answer every call you get from an unknown caller and plan around things that need to be scheduled in the next week or so. Then from that you meet with your specialists and devise a treatment plan—you may have options, you may want a second opinion (generally recommended if there’s anythig that isn’t early stage)—this all takes a stupid amount of time in your work day and a stupid amount of days when you really want them to just cut.it.out. Phone calls in a cube farm I think would be extremely difficult.
      For me, it was caught early and it was surgery and radiation. No chemo, before or after. Surgery removed 2 tumors and some lymph nodes. Surgery was a Tuesday, I took the rest of the week off. I worked the next week and in hindsight I wished I had not, but I was functional. I was working from home at the time. 4-6 weeks later I had radiation for (I think) 8 weeks. Radiation is daily (weekdays) and a very short appointment. I did it every morning, then worked from home the rest of the day. I may have taken a nap or two, but again was functional. I am investment banking adjacent and closed a couple deals during it all. I frankly don’t remember a lot of it—focus was just to make it through.
      I told my boss early on, and generally worked when I could. I told my team a few days before surgery. Telling people any earlier is difficult, because they will ask about chemo or whatever treatment and you have no idea until all the tests come back.
      Recovery after a mastectomy with or without reconstruction is much different and you likely would need to have some level of medical leave.
      My experience was the best I could hope for, even still I encourage you to take the time off where you need to. There were other things happening in my life at the time, and it took a year+ to feel generally human and happy again.

      1. I second all of this, except that I did have a double mastectomy, so I can speak to the recovery from that.

        Honestly, rather than planning for worst case scenarios, in your shoes, I would do what I can to try and occupy your brain in other ways. Work out hard, plan a spur of the moment trip for this weekend, clean out a closet. The diagnosis process is not instantaneous – it’s a slog. And as said above, development of the treatment plan comes slowly. That is the worst part of the whole thing. There are multiples kinds of breast cancer, multiple treatment protocols, and lots of pretesting that goes on (genetics, oncotype if you’re hormone positive, additional MRIs and/or PET scans). You can get second opinions. It took a month for me to line up my surgeon and plastic surgeon, and even then it was a cancellation opening. No one else in the process will want to (or be able to) move as fast as you. Try not to Google.

        If you post a burner email, I’d be happy to reach out. Women who have been through it before are great allies in this. It’s the worst group, with the best members.

    5. How much you tell really depends on your circumstances and what you’re dealing with. I found out I had colon cancer and would need surgery right after having my job eliminated during Covid (literally was a routine appointment before COBRA kicked in where they spotted my anemia and ordered the colonoscopy). The surgery date was up in the air because so much of healthcare was at the time. So I interviewed for new positions without knowing what future held. Timing worked out such that I started a new job with the surgery (finally) scheduled two weeks later. I was released from the hospital on a Wednesday and went back to work (from home) on Monday–my new employer only knew I had abdominal surgery. I didn’t tell a sole I worked with about having cancer for the year and a half that I worked there because I didn’t want anyone to be upset that I had hoodwinked them into hiring damaged goods. Most people take off a month with the type of surgery I had. It wasn’t easy. I had differing advice on chemo from separate oncologists, so I ultimately went without chemo (side effect risk and only a percentage or two difference in survivability). I’m four years out now cancer free and open with everyone now because I think it’s important to message the importance of colonoscopies. I share all of the because, the reality is that you don’t know what’s ahead. I could have not looked for another job. Or quit my job. But just because you get a cancer diagnosis doesn’t mean you will immediately know what will be ahead and you can and can’t take physically and emotionally. (And I surprised myself that I was able to take on a lot more than I had realized.)

    6. Regarding the cart before the horse – I do the same thing. Planning is a calming thing for me. It’s my version of “yes, and.”

      Agree with figuring out medical coverage, especially for second opinions and the top treatment centers, and what your job/workplace leave options are.

      I hope your test results are great.

  3. A friend is throwing a birthday party at her house with a 90’s theme. We are in our mid-40s. Do you have any suggestions on what I can wear that would be considered 90s attire? What about for DH?

      1. early mid 90s
        A daisy dress with a black background that is babydoll or a slip dress
        A slip/spaghetti strap dress over a white tight tshirt
        The 90210 Brenda/Kelly prom dress (big white bow on top, black miniskirt dress, black tights)

        Doc Martens
        Flannel shirt on top of corduroy pants

        late 90s
        Pop star stuff – tight, cropped tshirt with huge baggy pants, chunky sandals
        Hair with little braids and butterfly clips or something like that
        Very heavy eyeliner

    2. Overalls (for you), grunge look (both of you), wide leg jeans (both of you), puka shell necklace with an Abercrombie polo shirt (for your husband), spaghetti strap tank top with your bra straps showing and your hair in multiple butterfly clips (for you). A headband or hair in a ponytail with scrunchie would also work if you don’t have butterfly clips. You’re definitely going to want to straighten your hair if you don’t already have stick straight hair!

      2. I’m not the OP but I was a pretty t-shirt and jeans kinda girl at that age. While an Abercrombie t-shirt and low rise bootcut jeans may technically be 90s (albeit not all that flattering or comfortable on my current body), I personally would want to feel a little more dressed up and a little less everyday when going to a themed party.

        1. I graduated high school in the late ’90s and basically lived in Gap jeans and whatever t-shirts I liked.

    4. I went to one recently and dressed like Jesse Spano from Saved by the Bell (I have curly hair).

    5. My sister hosted one a few years ago and it was really fun! I found a pair of denim shortalls and wore a white tank underneath. Keds sneakers. Sparkly blue nails. Butterfly clips.

      My husband wore a hat he still had from high school, a Pearl Jam t-shirt (also from HS), baggy denim, and a flannel tied around the waist.

    6. Everyone will wear the exact same outfit from Amazon that pops up when you search for 90s outfit: a neon pink or green mesh top, matching earrings, and fingerless gloves. It’s pretty cute and it’s like $15 so feel free to go with it and laugh at yourself for wearing the same thing as everyone else. Makes for adorable pictures.

      A friend got a blazer on Temu of all places that was very saved by the bell and super cute.

      I wore my mom’s Harley Davidson leather jacket circa 1992 and teased out my hair in a side pony. If my mom hadn’t had a biker chick phase after she divorced my dad (and/or wasn’t a borderline hoarder) I probably just would’ve worn the Amazon get up.

        1. Yes and the fashion police will arrest you for wearing the wrong decade clothes to a party.

          1. No one said that. But the poster is specifically looking to match the theme. Also, I was kind of checking my own recollection, and now others have confirmed I was right.

      2. Isn’t that 80’s? Your description makes me think of Madonna in Desperately Seeking Susan or Girls Just Wanna Have Fun. Both movies are from 1985.

      1. This is what came to mind; also Saved by the Bell, Reality Bites and Blossom (early 90s) and Empire Records and Daria (mid to late 90s).

    8. I’d google Clarissa Explains it All, Saved by the Bell, She’s All That and go from there.

      Or, just shop a teens department at any department store today and you’d prob not be far off.

    9. My daughter had a 90s day at her high school. I helped her dress. She found a babydoll style dress, thrifted, and wore it with a black baby tee under. Added ripped black sheer hose, black boots, a black ribbon choker, and a flannel shirt to wear open over the dress, but it was too warm for it that day. Her hair went in that style where you pull the front of the hair up onto two tiny ponytails at the top of the head and wear the rest down.

    10. Oooh I was born in 1983 so am here for this. You could wear any of the following:

      Earlier 90s
      – a starter jacket from whatever sports team you want; bonus if it’s the Bulls, Magic, or Knicks.
      – flannel/grunge
      – possibly more easy to find, a basketball jersey from one of the famous players in the mid 90s

      Late 90s
      – JNCO jeans, a tight top and wallet chain; can also wear button down. Bonus points for airwalks.
      – flare jeans, tight tops, butterfly clips and/or snap clips

      You could also go as 90s couples- bill clinton & Monica Lewinsky, Nancy Kerrigan/Tonya Harding. OJ Simpson and a white Bronco. Any of the Seinfeld characters. Homer and Marge Simpson.

      You could go as the Soviet Union then transform into the various countries. Or East and west Germany than fit together.

      the possibilities are endless.

      1. I love this couples from the decade idea. I am going to keep it in mind for the future as I always struggle with theme/costume parties (and now finally have a date to parties).

      2. The couple from the decade is really smart!

        My other thought was Princess Diane inspired fashion.

    11. I would go with black bootcut pants (yes, work pants) and a fitted, cropped tank top or tee (look up the phrase “baby tee”) — you could also do very very loose overalls, worn with one of the straps undone, and a baby tee. Space buns or a crazy number of small butterfly clips or little girl bobby pins with flowers are great with either outfit.

      for your husband I feel like something really poorly fitted — baggy pants that are hanging too low on his waist (bonus if you can get some Calvin Klein underwear with prominent logo sticking out) and an oversized colorblocked polo shirt.

      this wasn’t the height of fashion back then but it was what people wore.

      1. The first outfit with some platform sandals with thick straps was a classic “going out” outfit in my 90s world. Express is probably selling the exact same pants now.

    12. Go as beanie babies in animal onesies. Print off some giant Ty tags & string them to wear as necklaces.

  4. I am going to a conference in Vancouver the third week in July and have tacked on a couple of days in Victoria. One of the days in Victoria will be spent at Butchart Gardens. Any suggestions for the other day in Victoria, and for restaurants and shopping in either city? I live in a small college town in the US with limited in-person shopping opportunities.

      1. Thank you for confirming my impression of a town in perhaps a 1950’s English town. (I grew up in the UK,)

      2. Thank you. I thought this would be the case. Sadly I will have less free time in Vancouver, but am determined to make some.

    2. Book the afternoon tea at Butchart. It is delightful. If you are an x-man fan, the school is nearby and called Hadley Castle. Definitely worth the short drive from town to see. For shopping, you can walk up and down Robson Street in Vancouver. Most of the malls will have similar stores to what you have in the US, so not a huge shock. Finally, this sounds of bit off the wall, but stop at a Shoppers Drugmart in a nice area of Vancouver. It’s like Walgreens and Sephora had a baby that was raised in Europe for a couple summers.

    3. Victoria is teeny tiny and QUIET. Think like nice suburb. I once mistakenly booked 5 days there, and my first clue that this wasn’t a place for more than a couple hours was when the Canadian immigration gentleman greeting the ferry incredulously said, “You’re going to be HERE for 5 days??!” I remember there’s a good museum of natural history (or did it just have a huge dinosaur exhibit?). And you can go on a whale watching tour. There is not really much shopping to speak of.

      1. If you spent 5 days in Victoria itself, you really missed out on a chance to explore the island. Sure the town is small, but the island is huge and diverse, with ample opportunities for outdoor adventures and the landscapes are breathtaking. I would happily spend two weeks there if I had the time.
        But OP, agree that your shopping opportunities will be much better in Vancouver. I did a whale watch tour in Victoria and really enjoyed it. Had some fantastic Japanese food too – I forget where, but there are a lot of good spots if you want to look them up.

        1. Thank you. I had hoped to explore the island but have a, hopefully temporary, knee issue and think Butchart Gardens are as much as I can do on this trip.

      2. Thank you. I originally wondered about going to Victoria for more than two days but decided against it!

    4. Years ago, I was im Vancouver and I took the ferry to Victoria and rented a bike and spent the day biking around the island and it was a delightful time.

      1. Thank you. The public bus I am taking to Butchart Gardens stops outside the Empress Hotel and am thinking about tea there at the end of the day!

        1. And fun fact: The “Empress” in question is, in fact, the late Queen Elizabeth II!

    6. Okay, the vintage shopping in Victoria is actually wonderful. There are a ton of cute boutiques that are all very walkable from each other by the water. If you walk around the blocks banded by wharf st and government st between Johnson and Pandora, you will see lots of fun shops. Market Mall does open air vintage markets on the weekends too.

      You won’t find a lot of big-name, high-end brands but its a great place to look for unique boutiques and smaller Canadian-owned brands.

    7. It has lots of cute stationary shops, little local shops and nice lunch spots. If you are a reader, Munro’s Books is a must see. Nice afternoon of shopping.

    8. Have tea at the Empress! Have so many fond childhood memories of visits there, and it holds up to the memories. Go on a boat ride, it’s beautiful. Not a big partying town, but Vancouver is so you’ll have the best of both worlds.

    9. In Victoria, the Royal BC Museum has an incredible collection, particularly if you are interested in totem poles and indigenous art/cu;ture, or you could go whale watching – I believe it is a good time of year to see orcas. We really enjoyed Victoria, but we live in NYC and were happy to be somewhere quieter. Vancouver is also wonderful. We did a kayak tour of the harbor there that we really enjoyed.

  5. looking for a GI / stomach person in Manhattan if possible. (Boston-area as second string?)

    having reflux issues not going away with OTC courses and I think a scope is in the cards. blerg.

    1. Make sure to consider low acid reflux as a possibility (what is way too much acid for our throat can still be too low to stimulate the muscles that are supposed to keep acid where it belongs). The OTCs that lower acid can be counterproductive.

      1. I don’t have a specific GI doc recommendation in NYC, but don’t they have some of the best GI programs in the world? People travel from all over the country to see specialists at NYU Langone.

    2. Dr Daniel Alpert in Manhattan. He’s a little old school but takes his time with patients. Be prepare to wait in the waiting room since as stated above, he takes his time.

    3. Which of the big hospital systems is in your network/convenient to you? This is bread and butter stuff, so I would just ask your PCP for her rec for a GI within your PCP’s hospital system. It’s really nice to keep all of your specialists within your one hospital system of choice / where you would go if you ever had to go to the ER or have surgery, so that all of your records are in one place and doctors know each other.

      1. Nice thing in NYC is that all the major hospitals use EPIC so they can all see each other’s records.

        Vicenta Caceres De Lopez at Mt Sinai seemed very thoughtful and academic but also good bedside manner.

      1. PS – and I agree that there is no need to stick to one hospital system in NYC. I have NYU doctors, Weill Cornell, etc – no one seems to notice or care.

  6. Why wouldn’t it be possible to find a GI doctor in New York City?

    Surprisingly, I found that there seemed to be a link between some kind of artificial sweetener and recurrent reflux for me. I’m not sure which one it was exactly, but the two worst flareups I ever had were after eating holiday chocolates that had a lot of additives. I’m not big on cutting out food groups in the name of self research, but if there are any obvious candidates in your life like that, it did really seem to help when I cut them out.

    1. Related, I have a friend who had horrible skin flare/spots all over her body that derms couldn’t figure out and were not responding to steroids and it turned out she has an allergy to Splenda. [Which is secretly in a lot of products, like premade cocktail mixes, which she has figured out when spots pop back up.]

    2. Oh yeah I have GI issues very clearly linked to aspartame. I avoid artificial sweeteners and preservatives as much as possible.

      1. +1. Just avoid them all. They are basically poison, and make your body crave more actual sugar.

        1. ummm…. this is a bit much, and not true. Lots of differences.
          I assume you don’t drink any alcohol, a true poison.

  7. Sharing my Thursday win. I just bought the Zojirushi 5 cup coffee maker and used it for the first time this morning. I did not think I am someone who could tell the difference between good and mediocre coffee, but… it is SO much better than my little brew and go. Also I liked the water reservoir comes out to fill because for some reason whenever I pour into my old one, I spill 1/3 of it on the counter :)

  8. What is your go-to source for real leather but not overpriced belts? Now that pants are high waisted, I need some smaller belts, and the pleather ones I bought ten years ago have crumbled. Looking for medium width, but also some skinnier ones to wear over dresses.

    1. I have a Tory Burch black leather belt I wear with work pants. For casual, I have found some Frye ones that hold up well. Places like T.J. Maxx often have a decent selection of belts from brands like Steve Madden.

    2. I just got 2 from Boden for the same purpose–they have some on the current sale, and if you’re on their mailing list, they always seem to have a 15% off coupon.

    4. Nordstrom has a nice selection, I recently bought belts by rag & bone and all saints that I really like.

    6. I have a skinny one from BR that I love because the leather is not only sturdy and thick without a cheap coating to flake off, it is also some of the softest and most supple leather I have encountered in a very long time.

  9. Is there a dry shampoo that smells really fresh and doesn’t leave white residue on dark hair? The best one I have used is Oribe but I am not in love with it, and it’s very expensive. Thank you for any recommendations.

    2. i really liked Pssst when I was using it. the white residue helps you see how well you’re covered and it brushes out. even better to put it on before you go to bed instead of in the morning.

    3. This might sound crazy, but I just use some cornstarch. It works better than dry shampoo for me, brush well and the white goes away. I felt like every day shampoo I used was making my hair fall out.

      2. I straight up use baby powder. It works the best out of all these options to me. My hair is very dark but after you brush it through you don’t see anything.

    4. I like Living Proof. One trick I learned from a woman I follow on Insta is to spray the dry shampoo into your hair in the evening so that it has time to work overnight and then by morning there’s no white residue. This has also worked for me when I remember!

    5. R+Co has one that’s a wet spray designed to use after workouts or with damp hair. I like it a lot!

      I’ve also heard good things about Crown Affair but have not tried.

  10. A travel sports coach who made my kid’s life miserable a couple of years ago is calling me for advice on a legal issue (frankly a legal non-issue, but I digress). I practiced in the area of the non-issue a decade ago but now do something completely different and I am not in private practice. I have referred the coach to a very good attorney but I know that attorney charges for a consultation, as she should, and I suspect the coach is too cheap to pay for it. The coach still calls and texts me, mostly venting about a perceived slight I am quite sure is not legally actionable (but I have been out of the area of practice too long to give advice). I want to tell him off, but the kid is still in the same sports club ( now with a great coach) and I don’t want to create any tension there. How do I shut this down?

    1. Tell him it’s best if he discusses these issues only with the attorney representing him.

    2. “I’m not able to provide legal advice on this matter.” and then block or mute.

    4. As a CPA I get people asking me to tax advice. I tell people my employment contract only allows me to offer advice to clients. If you want to be a client, please understand my hourly rate starts at $1000/hr. If they don’t go away the next time you say, talking with you jeopardizes my employment, therefore am not able to talk with you regarding this matter.

    5. Sorry, this is outside the scope of my practice and I can’t help. And otherwise just ignore.

    6. “I am going to stop you there. Since our conversations are not privileged, it would be in your best interests not to discuss this with me. You really should not be talking about this to anyone other than your lawyer.”

      And if he continues (and with the understanding you do not feel it is politic to be rude): “I have ethical and professional obligations not to discuss this further. I am sure you understand. Good luck and have a great day.” And then hang up.

  11. Let me start by I have a call in to my PCP…

    I have sciatic nerve or s-i joint issues. It first appeared very severely during pregnancy 6 years ago and went away instantly upon giving birth. It crept up again in my most recent pregnancy (November 2023 birth) and went away after delivering. However, just this week I’m randomly getting shooting pains down my leg, all the same feeling/sensation as the sciatica. I’ve not done anything obvious to trigger it this week – no out of the ordinary movement, workouts, etc. I’m in the process of losing a bunch of weight, down 25 lbs since Feb and counting.

    My insurance does not require that I go to the PCP for referral, so I could cut out the middle man theoretically just call a specialist or PT on my own. For any sufferers, is PT the way to go? Someone else? I think this is just a flare up, but I’d love to know how to manage when I am mid-flare up and how to also prevent as much as possible in the future. I will not go to a chiro for a host of reasons.

    1. I’m a huge fan of walk-in orthopedic clinics for timely imaging if imaging is needed. My PCP recommends trying real (academically affiliated, etc.) PT content online to see if the generic recommendations work before investing time and $ in personalized PT (a lot of insurers limit PT so it can be helpful to intervene when most necessary).

      But some kind of PT or orthopedic intervention is worth pursuing; my husband’s sciatica symptoms went away when he switched up his gym routine, so there are definitely things that can affect it dramatically. Helpfulness of individual providers varies so it may help to check reviews or ask for recommendations (or go with who your PCP recommends).

      1. Agree about walk-in orthopedic clinics but check first to make sure they’re not injury-specific. The one near me won’t see patients unless they’re coming in about a recent injury as opposed to a chronic-ish condition.

    2. Agree with your choice not to go to a chiro and I think PT is a great idea, as long as you don’t have saddle anesthesia or incontinence. A PT should know how to screen for conditions that would make PT a bad idea. I would schedule an appointment with an orthopedic surgeon. You may need an MRI to make sure there is nothing that should be addressed surgically.

    3. I’ve struggled with sciatic pain post pregnancy, and the biggest things that have helped me is having a regular stretching routine and yoga. I think going to a PT to help you figure out a stretching plan would be a good idea.

    4. Physical therapy will help this a lot, both in terms of giving you exercises to alleviate it and to help find the root cause.

    5. I would see someone before jumping to PT to rule out serious causes that could be worsened by the wrong kind of PT. I had an undiscovered bulging disc and was referred to PT for stiffness and mild pain in my right leg. Some of the exercises actually worsened my condition into unbearable pain requiring muscle relaxants. Once I had an MRI they understood why.

    6. I’m seeing a PT for sciatic nerve pain right now. It’s a slow process but it’s helping a lot. Chiros are quacks, don’t see one!

  12. Thanks everyone for the Bay Area recos yesterday. I am looking forward to spending some chi time in the Russian RIver area. Any recommendations for great coffee shops, good food with good views etc. I want to book one really nice meal for our anniversary but generally eat well and am overwhelmed by all the amazing options. Taking all the tips/recos from RR/Napa/Sonoma to SFO, we will have a car so happy to drive to good food.

    1. Go to Farmhouse Inn for your anniversary dinner. It’s about 15 mins from Guerneville on River Road and absolutely lovely. It’s a 1k+/night small hotel but you can eat there and also use the pool with a spa treatment. In Guerneville, Road Trip and Boon Eat and Drink are great dinner spots, Piknik Town market is great for lunch. Post a burner and I can send you my area recommendations (I’m the poster with a second home in Guerneville).

      1. Thank you so very much! Hopefully it’s not too late for this: e-mail me at ruthbaderg at Gmail.

    2. Here’s a restaurant with a view in Jenner (where the Russian River meets the sea.)

      The whole Russian River area is pretty laid back so this is about as fancy as it gets. Try to time it for sunset.

      https://ilovesunsets.com/

      1. Another thing we like to do in that area is have a nice lunch at Cape Fear in Duncan’s Mills. There’s a wine shop that will do a flight style tasting for you – and they have lovely outdoor tables. Lots of funky little shops to browse in. A step above downtown Guerneville, which is a step back in time, though we do love to do a candy run at the 5 & 10.

  13. I just had a dentist visit and the dentist told me that I had a lot of bony growths (tori). I’ve always had some very large ones in my lower jaw since I was a kid, but the ones on my upper jaw he said might be caused by grinding my teeth, and they do seem like they’re bigger than I remember. He also said I could get them removed, which… would be nice not to have them anymore, and it might make things easier for me when I’m older (like dentures, x-rays,etc) but I don’t want invasive or risky surgery just for cosmetic purposes. Has anyone had these and had them removed? I’m early 40s, if that makes a difference.

    1. I have these on both my upper and lower jaw and my dentist also said that they’re probably related to grinding, which I most definitely do. I did a little googling about the surgery a few years ago and it didn’t seem worth it, especially since it seemed likely that they would just come back. I didn’t look into it that seriously, though, so I wouldn’t take my knowledge to be worth that much.

    2. One thing to consider, which I learned last week, is are you at risk for osteoporosis in the future? My teeth and jaw are problematic, despite my having very good dental care. I was diagnosed with osteoporosis last week, and the most common drug type used to treat it have a slight risk of osteonecrosis of the jaw. The risk is low, but you may find that your dentist or oral surgeon (especially) will be concerned about certain treatments if you’re taking bisphosphonates. This includes root canals and implants.

      In my case, my PCP has agreed that I’ll hold off on these drugs until I have a bunch of dental work done. My dentist is happy with that call. So, if you are considering dental work, depending on your age and risk, deferring may not be a good choice.

      1. I personally think this was a good call.

        I would add that I would look carefully into this whole class of drug even after the dental work. There’s a difference between improving DEXA scores and achieving meaningful outcomes.

        1. Yes, I agree! I felt like I was getting a reprieve when my PCP said to remind her about the osteoporosis drugs and dental care in my February check up. I’ve done some research but decided to step away for a few weeks as it was overwhelming and scary. In the interim, I’m taking the vitamins my PCP recommended and monitoring my calcium intake. I already run, lift with a trainer, and take Pilates reformer, so there’s not much physical activity I can add.

          It was frustrating to learn that improving your DEXA scores may mean actually nothing.

        2. I may be an anomaly; I had a fractured pelvis in 2018 and the bone density scan showed osteoporosis which was a complete shock. I’ve always run, done strength work, etc. and yet there I was with a fractured pelvis.

          Staying active is very important to me as I get older, so in consultation with my endocrinologist I started on Prolia. Unfortunately I had an allergic reaction to the second shot (they are given every six months). So we looked at all options and for me, a daily injection of Tymlos for two years was the best path.

          I completed those in 2021 and now have a yearly infusion of Reclast to keep the bone Tymlos helped me rebuild. It doesn’t hurt that Reclast also helps prevent recurrence of breast cancer (was dx’d in 2019).

          Again, not everyone’s experience or choice–just sharing my own situation.

    3. If they are from bruxism, your body grew them for a reason. I’d love my jaw shaved down cosmetically, but the bruxism is not a solved problem (and mouth guards don’t relieve the pressure on the jaw bone).

  14. NYC ‘rettes…

    Where is the best place to grab a healthy breakfast before 8AM near 24th and 6th Avenue in NYC? Staying overnight tonight and see a lot of coffee shops but pastries won’t do it. Daily Provisions near 19th and Park Ave is the closest.

    2. Define healthy breakfast.

      Before 7am the only option is that area is Malibu diner. It was my go to with my hungry kids when they were all up at 5am. It works out to be about $20 for breakfast but its good and service is fast.

      My children liked Citizens of Chelsea which is on 25th and 9th. It opens at 7am sharp.

      If lower budget, Brooklyn Bagel company is on 8th between 24th and 25th. Its $2 for a cream cheese bagel, which is what I ate. They open at 7am too. Their coffee is fine and affordable.

      1. Diner is the answer. You can always get an omelet with vegetables, fruit on the side, wheat toast, oatmeal, etc.

    3. Maman on 25th street opens at 7:30. A lot of places don’t open until 8am, like the Eataly cafe or Grey Dog.

    4. I love Daily Provisions, but I wouldn’t necessarily classify it as “healthy.” If you’re fine with take out, I would go to Pret-A-Manger. I did a quick search, and it looks like there is one on 6th between 20 and 21, but there are so, so many locations all over the city. Pret has great oatmeal, yogurt, fruit, etc.

  15. Do color depositing shampoos and conditioners work on low porosity white hair? I don’t have a lot of white hair yet but what I do have stands out against my naturally dark east Asian hair. I don’t want to spend the time or money to color my hair but if shampoo/conditioner can turn my white hairs even a dark blonde, that might be good. I’m interested in feedback from others in this situation. I also don’t want to spend $$$ trying products that ultimately don’t work or are just as much work as real hair color.

    1. I am blonde and get red highlights. I have tried a red color- depositing shampoo. It pretty much turned my blonde pinkish. I have some random grays and it didn’t do anything for the.

    2. I’m sure this is hair specific, and this is of limited usefulness, but on my untreated dark blond and grey hairs, color shampoo did exactly nothing. Reading up, it sounded like I’d have to seriously mistreat my hair (repeated application of really harsh soap) to damage it enough to take in color, which did not sound worth it.

    3. perhaps Aveeda, their stuff is $$, and smells good too.. I have used the brown color deposit conditioner on my eyebrows 1x weekly for several years. .

    4. I have low porosity natural warm blonde hair, and I have tried purple shampoos in the hope that my greys will be brighter, whiter or more blonde.

      What actually happens is that the hair looks more cool toned, which reads as darker and duller, which is the opposite of what I want, but might be perfect for you.

      Aveda Malva is the most effective in getting me the opposite of what I want.

    5. I have medium brown hair with maybe 15% grey and use dpHUE+ gloss in Dark Blonde. It isn’t supposed to cover greys, but for me it gives them a golden tint that blends in nicely with my hair. Leaves my hair nice and soft with no damage. The tint lasts for 6-8 shampoos but since I shampoo only twice a week, that’s fine with me.

  16. Private practice lawyers – how do you take a real, no email/cell phone vacation on a business day? My specific hurdle is conflicts. If a conflict check flags a matter I’m involved on/that I need to clear, my partners get super antsy and want it done usually within hours, let alone a business day or more than that. Our GC has authority to clear them or block files from being opened but she really prefers the attorney handle. Is it just impossible? Do you have instructions prepped for every file, like “here’s exactly the matter type that would be OK with written consent and here’s what wouldn’t be”? I know every firm is different but I seriously can’t figure out how this works. (And I’d note, from what I’ve learned at my firm, even partners on parental leave are logging in nearly every day to check and clear conflicts)

    If it matters – our billing system has a conflicts check process; it sends automatic notifications to the attorneys if there’s a potential conflict. If we don’t respond within 1-2 hours, one of our staff emails a follow up and then continues to email every 4 hours until it’s cleared or addressed.

    1. I hate that I am saying this, but I don’t. I am head of a practice group and feel it just kind of comes with the territory. I check my email on vacation, just not as often, and then I delegate the work if it’s urgent. I also delegate tasks in advance – i.e. “Susan, I’m out next week, you’re in charge of all ___.”

      If it was literally impossible for me to check email, I would assign a proxy to handle in a way that made sense for the situation. You might also consider asking your GC or someone else who you have a good relationship how best to handle it.

      Few weeks ago I went somewhere with no service. I specifically noted that in my ooo, and my group was all prepared to handle things in my absence (my secretary has access to my email).

      I take full advantage of vacation time, and being unplugged, and generally speaking, work a pretty low-stress job. So I don’t really feel like I *need* a totally unplugged vacation.

    2. Is there someone at your firm who can be trusted with your personal cell or email, to be used only for conflicts checking?

    4. Leave behind some reasonable documentation and otherwise plan a wilderness trip. Not joking – I’ve seen many people in high-powered careers take those trips where the lack of contact is enforced and they (and their bosses) discover that the world really will go on without them.

      1. There is a reason why that contingent loves Northern Canada for holidays. Highly recommend Banff, Lake Louise, Jasper as you can have email at the hotel in the morning but no data when you are out doing activities all day. It works fantastic.

    5. My initial reaction was, yeah you obviously have to respond. But the description in your second paragraph gives me pause. Are they contacting you regarding EVERY potential conflict even if it’s an obvious non-issue? How often are you getting these emails? Can you provide a more complete description of the matter so they can more accurately assess conflicts?

      I’m a partner in an AmLaw 100. There are times that clearing conflicts requires input from the partner. Maybe it’s not clear whether the representation really creates a conflict. Or maybe it’s more of a business issue than a true ethical conflict. Or maybe it does actually require a waiver. I appreciate the heads up so I can manage the client relationship. And yes we are absolutely expected to respond immediately no matter what. But I have a pretty decent sized book and I get those emails maybe monthly-ish? If I was getting those emails daily then I would be having Words with my conflicts team because that is entirely too burdensome.

    6. This seems like a cultural thing – do people still get antsy if someone is out of office? And what’s the big deal if they get antsy?
      Basically I don’t think lawyers in private firms can take vacations where they don’t even look at their email at all for days on end. But, I think it’s very doable to only look at it once a day and respond to things that truly cannot wait. If that’s the case for the conflicts, just set aside 10 minutes to breeze through them and then go back to your vacation.
      If it’s hard for you to not also deal with 10 other things, that’s something for you to work on yourself

  17. Does anyone have any current or past experience hiring/employing a house manager? We’re thinking through what things we’d like help with (laundry, grocery shopping, keeping household items stocked, meal prep, errands, returns) and this type of role is what has been suggested to us. I’m hearing these types of jobs charge $30-35/hour and that you should expect to give someone at least 25-30 hours a week. That sounds like a lot of hours for someone who would not be doing cleaning (aside from general tidying) or childcare. If you’ve employed a house manager, do they cook meals for you, or just meal prep/shop? Do they do pet care type things (litter box, dog walks)?

    Thanks in advance!

    1. Do you really need a household manager, or more of a Taskrabbit type arrangement? What you’re describing sounds more like general household help, but not a manager. Maybe a student could do it for fewer hours and pay around $25/hr?

    2. How do you get into this? I’m an assistant and would love to find a set-up for 2-3 hours a morning to prep a family to get out the door/some chores. I’ve been seeing a few Instagram feeds of this nature and I’m intrigued. Craigslist?

      2. Oh my gosh, there’s such a huge market for this. Agree that Care would be a good place to post. Also see if you can find your local Nanny, Babysitter, Family Network Facebook group, you can usually post this kind of role there.

      3. You would be paid $40/hr+ here in my Boston suburb. There is such a lack of labor!

      4. Anon at 12:22, there is huge demand for this where I live. If in the Bay Area, I’d give a household staffing agency like Town and Country a call.

        1. Agree, but you could also keep it local and just post on Nextdoor. I had 2 hour per morning care when I was traveling a lot – husband could still pick up kids, but wasn’t available to drop them off at school. It was less babysitting than it was preparing breakfast, packing lunches, and getting them to school.

          I paid for 2 hours though it always got done in about an hour. I also paid for gas/wear and tear at the IRS per mile guideline.

  18. I have a rare trip to Trader Joe’s coming up next week – what should I buy there?

    1. frozen veggie masala burgers.
      frozen harticort verts (sp?)
      frozen mushroom mini quiches

    2. Kringle
      Frozen haricots verts
      Cowboy quinoa burgers
      Ricotta cheese (the best!)
      Sourdough sandwich bread
      Honey goat cheese
      Unexpected Cheddar
      Basically any cheese
      Nuts and dried fruits
      Lemon elderflower soda
      Any Meyer lemon seasonal items
      Brownie ice cream sandwiches
      Mini ice cream cones
      Frozen mac and cheese
      Fresh salmon
      Peanut butter cups
      Fake Fig Newtons
      Almond butter granola
      Frozen tropical fruit mix for smoothies
      Potato chips
      Peanut butter filled pretzels
      Grapefruit seltzer
      Olive oil
      Toasted sesame oil
      Garlic and jalapeno stuffed olives
      Chili cheese dip in the refrigerator section
      Pimiento cheese
      Frozen puff pastry if they have it

    3. Cookie butter, unexpected cheddar, flowers/plants, greeting cards, the chocolate covered marshmallows and/or any other treat that strikes your fancy, frozen scallion pancakes

    4. Check out their beauty and bath products. I like their body scrubs, their face exfoliators, their body oils, shaving cream. I have been really happy with almost all of these products especially for the price.

    5. Canned smoked trout and the red pepper tomato soup that comes in a box. Dark chocolate peanut butter cups.

    1. I pay for it. Local digital newspaper subscription, metro digital newspaper subscription, NYT digital subscription, Economist digital + paper subscription. But I am 40 and have the financial means to prioritize this. If I was 20 today and wanted quality media but did not have the means, I would go to NPR for domestic coverage and BBC for global (and still do).

    4. NYT, WaPo, LA Times (because that’s my local paper). I pay for them because I want them to continue to be around. I also pay for a variety of other online sources I like, like NY Mag, The Atlantic, Rolling Stone. And my husband has a hard copy subscription to The Economist. Oh, and NPR in the car.

    5. I have subscriptions to NYT, The City, and Hell Gate. I watch about 45 minutes of NY1 in the morning. And I follow several journalists on social, so I absorb news that way, either from reading posts or following links.

    7. Local news from local stations (I visit them online, I don’t watch TV)
      NPR radio on my commute
      Apple News feed for daily headlines

    8. NYT
      WaPo
      BBC
      Guardian
      CNN
      MSNBC
      CBS
      Democracy Now
      Al Jazeera
      Government press briefings on YouTube

      And I’m all over the place getting opinion programming after realizing how inaccurate and full of propaganda reporting through major channels has become.

    9. I pay for a NYT subscription but just got a notice that my monthly fee is more than doubling to $25/month. There don’t seem to be any other plan options.

      I am getting sick of all the subscriptions and escalating fees, and I don’t even have many.

      1. Every time I go to cancel my NYTimes subscription they offer me a new “promotional” rate, so give that a try!

      2. Do the chat and tell them you are canceling because of cost. They will keep offering you lower discount rates. I always give in eventually, even the times when I really intended to quit.

    10. SF Chronicle
      LA Times
      SacBee
      WashPo
      France 24
      DW News
      PBS
      So much crap out there. Washington Post may lose me too, so many of their articles are like a bad YouTube video.

  20. I posted the other day about nasty Wegovy side effects. I feel dramatic, but I don’t think I can handle this brain fog. It’s spiraling into depression, which I have a history of. I moved up my check-in with my doctor to tomorrow. I’m disappointed because I’ve only been on it a few weeks and was excited to see results (I’m pre-diabetic and medically obese).

    1. Ask your doc about switching to tirzepatide. FWIW, I have severe depression and take a hefty cocktail of antidepressants everyday and tirzepatide had/has no effect on me.

      1. In my case on another brand the brain fog is an effect of weight loss, not the medication. It’s always been this way for me when weight comes off. Good luck! As the body adjusts that side effect tends to wane.

      2. another vote for tirz (I get the compounded version). I’ve only been on it a week, but already notice the appetite suppression and lack of food noise. Zero side effects so far.

    2. Are you sure you are getting enough protein? If I don’t get enough protein on Wegovy, I can get brain fog. Also, I have to be careful that I’m actually eating enough generally so my body doesn’t go into starvation mode. If that happens, I stop losing weight, get brain fog and am practically falling asleep at my desk.

    3. You may want to try another version. I did not have any of these side effects with semiglutide.

    4. I get brain fog on ozempic when I don’t eat. I don’t feel hunger, I feel foggy. Not to discount your experience – I know others have had to quit due to side effect so if that’s what you need, do it!! But just a thought.

  21. help – how can i read without subscribing??? i am getting locked out behind a pop up.

    1. I’ve seen several people describe this popup lately, but only on tablets. I’ve not seen it on my phone or computer. Also the Brave browser generally is great at hiding a lot of the noise for me.

      1. I am on chrome with adblock running and can’t read the posts, only the comments weirdly :(

        1. You might have blocked the frame that the posts themselves are in, rather than just an ad frame. You can disable ad block for the whole page and then re-enable it. If you have to block specific elements be sure the red hover preview is only highlighting an actual ad and not part of the page you want to continue seeing.

  22. Random m*igraine question: I was prescribed Nurtec by my doctor but my insurance denied coverage for Nurtec because I haven’t been prescribed a triptan before. Can I still be prescribed Nurtec without going through insurance? I haven’t had to do this before so
    I’m unclear what is and is not possible to do…

    1. Of course, insurance denying coverage just means you need to pay for it entirely out of pocket. You might find a better price if you use one of the GoodRx-type cards.

      You should be able to appeal the insurance company decision, particularly if there is a legitimate medical reason for not trying triptans. Your doctor might need to schedule a call with your insurer (possibly with their internal medical team) to explain why you need this rather than something else. When my doctor has done this for me, I have to schedule as though it is an actual appointment for me, then sit at their office while the doctor takes the call, and pay a general office visit copay.

    2. You can, but I wouldn’t, unless you have an extra $1k a month to throw away for potentially years on end. I’d appeal the denial if you really have some reason you need Nurtec first, or just try the triptans for a month or two and then move on to Nurtec if they don’t work,

    3. In case this helps, my insurer didn’t approve Nurtec, but did approve Ubrelvy. The main difference, according to my neurologist, is that Nurtec is a dissolvable tablet, where Ubrelvy requires you to swallow it with water.

      I did try and fail a triptan first. Triptans are now contraindicated for me as I’ve had a stroke, so that was part of the prior authorizations.

      I think these are pretty expensive out of pocket, so I recommend working with your neurologist to get one of them approved.

    4. This is common — they want you to fail through so many triptans before they give you any of the CGRPs. You can check to see if they can get you into the manufacturer coupon program. I think my ubrelvy was free for a year. I’m on shots now but it took a lot of pushback by the dr. If all else fails, complain on social media. A lot.

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