Suit of the Week: Brooks Brothers

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stylish executive woman wears double-breasted suit in birdseye print

For busy working women, the suit is often the easiest outfit to throw on in the morning. In general, this feature is not about interview suits for women, which should be as classic and basic as you get — instead, this feature is about the slightly different suit that is fashionable, yet professional. Also check out our big roundup for the best women's suits of 2025!

I love the subtle birdseye pattern here — and the fact that it's a merino wool suit, which can be really hard to find these days. (It's 98% wool, 2% elastane.)

In addition to the blazer, there are some matching wide leg trousers, as well as a nice basic crew-necked sheath dress with short sleeves.

All are available in sizes 00-16, with prices between $348-$598 per piece, all at Brooks Brothers.

Hunting for a suit in a print or pattern? As of 2025, for more traditional prints, Ann Taylor has a great navy plaid as well as a black and white plaid. M.M.LaFleur has a lovely houndstooth option, a plaid, and a black-and-white check; and Brooks Brothers has a surprisingly nice paisley corduroy suit (also on sale), as well as a great merino wool birdseye suit. For plus sizes, we love this polka dot suit from Eloquii!

Sales of note for 2/14/25 (Happy Valentine's Day!):

  • Nordstrom – Winter Sale, up to 60% off! 7850 new markdowns for women
  • Ann Taylor – Up to 40% off your full-price purchase — and extra 60% off sale
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50% off everything + 15% off (readers love their suiting as well as their silky shirts like this one)
  • Boden – 15% off new season styles
  • Eloquii – 300+ styles $25 and up
  • J.Crew – 40% of your purchase – prices as marked
  • J.Crew Factory – 50% off entire site and storewide + extra 50% off clearance
  • Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – Flash sale ending soon – markdowns starting from $15, extra 70% off all other markdowns (final sale)

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103 Comments

  1. Explain living wills and advance directives and health care POAs to me. My mom had all that. She didn’t want any feeding tubes and just wanted to die a natural death. She had forms and had copies handy and my dad gave them to the ambulance, hospital, etc. They handed him more forms to fill out. He isn’t a lawyer. She isn’t a lawyer. She was terminal (stage 4 pancreatic cancer, >80, and not responding to two chemo rounds). Her doctor kept making follow up appointments (no palliative care, nothing like that even mentioned in the hospital); no one said “now it is time to go to hospice”, etc. What went wrong? They thought that the forms would help and instead it seems that everyone insisted on futile treatment instead of providing comfort. This is where I hate being a long-distance child — I flew in to this crisis and managing the people and then managing the paperwork thrown at us by various health care people has left me with the stabbiest of rage.

    1. Their doctor failed them – should have had a “goals of care” discussion. But, they also needed to say what they wanted when asked. If they continued to go along with the doctors’ recommendations, that would overrule any written wishes they wrote.

      1. +1

        OP, I don’t know if your parents are like this, but I’ve noticed that many adults in that generation (my parents included) sort of blindly follow whatever the doctor is advising and don’t necessarily push back, ask questions, or verbalize their own wishes and concerns. I don’t know what the answer is, other than to have an advocate of some kind.

        1. I think it’s also hard because sometimes the initial wishes that someone relates to their doctor change dramatically as care goes on. They may have gone to the first oncologist appointment, before they knew the whole story, and told the doc they wanted to throw the kitchen sink at it. This may change, even quickly, once they know more. But that doctor’s records will still reflect the notes of the initial meeting. And that’s what they read every time they walk in the door. Or another NP reads before walking in. And it’s hard to get off that path.

          1. Something is wrong with records and how they inform care; this problem seems to come up every kind of issue (contraindications, diagnoses, medication history), where they seem to be starting from the wrong point in the story and missing the crucial information.

    2. And I guess no one is a doctor, that you don’t know what cancer care looks like, and that you don’t know when it makes sense to abandon treatment for comfort / hospice. That’s what the doctors are for. I guess they need to lead so that you can follow. But it seems like we’re at DIY care these days, where you need to drive the bus you really have no business driving b/c otherwise no one will.

      1. Doctors are not the sole arbiters of when it makes sense to move to palliative care. That’s a decision for an informed patient. My SIL’s father has been battling stage 4 cancer for years. He has no issue with frequent and painful hospitalizations for the last 5 years. His priority is longevity to spend time with his grandchildren. My uncle had a similar stage 4 cancer. He had numerous extended hospitalizations for another issue as a child and deeply hated hospitals and all things medical. For him the priority was quality of life not longevity and avoiding extended hospital stays. There are no right or wrong decisions in late stage cancer treatment. Only informed options.

        Doctors advise and recommend. Patients decide. Competent doctors explain the range of options and the basis for their recommendations and treat their patients with kindness and respect regardless of the patient’s decision.

        1. And what a patient wants changes over time. This is not a one time decision, it’s an ongoing conversation.

        2. Amen. I feel the exact same way. I’d trade decades of life to avoid hospitals and horrific treatment.

          1. This is why they can’t assume. I’d spend any amount of time in the hospital and go through any horrific treatment for decades of life. Heck I’d spend decades in the hospital if I had to; I hate hospitals, but it’s worth it to me. So they just don’t and can’t know how we feel.

    3. I’m so sorry

      Is your mom in the hospital now?
      Here is what to do:
      -Ask everyone who comes in for a referral to palliative care. When you meet with the palliative care team, show them what you’ve written her: tell them you, your mom and your dad don’t want what’s happening and you want them to help you plan for the kind of care and death your mom wants, and that you’re not sure how to accomplish that.

      If she is going to be discharged, ask for a hospice referral.

      Tell the nurses, doctors and everyone else who walks in the room her goal is comfort. Write it on the room whiteboard if there is one.

      I’m so sorry this has happened like this, your parents are lucky to have you there to help

      1. Grim indeed. Thank you for posting the link.
        What I took away from the article is that having the documents (DNR, POA, advanced directive) in place may not be enough. What’s most important is having a family member who can advocate clearly for the patient’s wishes—and be comfortable saying “no” to a doctor/hospital.

    4. In my state, living wills and advance directives are the name for the same thing. These documents provide directives for end of life care where there is not possibility of recovery. A DNR is different and is usually a form filled out at a hospital or doctor’s office. A health care power of attorney is a legal document that names an agent who is given the authority to make health care decisions for you. A health care power of attorney usually will provide authority for the agent to decide all of the decisions specified in a living will/advance directive and/or DNR. In other words, the health care power of attorney allows someone else to make medical decisions for you. The advance directive/living will specifies what you want or do not want at end of your life for life extending care. In my experience, some oncologists work in their own box of cancer treatment. They see cancer, they are going to recommend treatment. They don’t always consider the ramifications of that. They see a problem, and they want treat it. For example, an oncologist recommended numerous rounds of chemo for a 95 year old woman who had a small tumor removed from her ankle. She was active and mobile with a good quality of life for her age. The chemo would have significantly decreased her quality of life for the years she had left. But the oncologists only saw the cancer and the recommended treatment. Sometimes, you have to push/advocate for hospice and/or an end to treatment. But those scenarios are not ones that would fall into the category of an advance directive or living will.

    5. This is so hard, and I’m so sorry.

      My grandmother was in a not dissimilar situation at the end of her life. It took bluntly saying, “This is so hard to see, my grandmother is 95 and she will never be able to live in her home or enjoy the things that brought her life meaning again, this is not the dignified end that she would have wanted,” to a nurse to open the palliative care conversation. Within two days she’d been moved to hospice where she passed a few days later.

      I think a lot of healthcare providers are hesitant to bring it up even when it should clearly be a hospice situation. FWIW, my mother is usually a pretty direct person, but she was going along with the doctor’s recommendations–I was the one who spoke up. I do think there’s something generational there.

      1. +1 to some hesitancy on both sides. I sat with both of my grandparents for weeks at the ends of their lives, and hospice workers were suprised how early they were asked to come in for them (~4 weeks vs mere days) and really cheered our family for being welcoming and pragmatic. They told me several times that families are often hesitant to bring hospice up, and likewise that if a doctor does, that doctor’s worried about getting screamed at (and then a complaint filed and then sued) for “giving up” and not doing everything possible. What a mess the whole way round.

    6. This is very much a matter of state law so I would caution against getting advice on the internet unless it is specific to your state.

      Generally speaking, there are two different issues here. The first is that POA for health care only applies when a patient is unable to make their own decisions. And people can and do change their minds. I have seen in my own family people who swore that they would never have the surgery/chemo/etc. do a 180 when the situation actually arises. As long as she is marginally competent, it is your mother’s decision regardless of what she has documented in advance.

      The second (and I am going through this right now) is that hospitals often have “care teams” and there is no single person looking at the bigger picture. That means that unless the patient or family insists, the conversation does not happen. It is infuriating and frustrating, but the reality is that the patient or patient’s family needs to ask for a palliative care consult and then ask about hospice care. Because otherwise those conversations do not happen. The different specialists just go their thing, even if it is futile, because they assume that the end goal is the longest possible life -regardless of the quality of that life – unless they are told otherwise.

    7. My mom passed from Pancreatic cancer.

      This is a complex situation. As long as she is seeing an Oncologist for pancreatic cancer, they are treating her pancreatic cancer. If she hasn’t said the words “I don’t want anymore chemo”, they will offer her chemo. That is how you treat her cancer. Living wills/POs don’t go into specific treatments in most cases, and even “DNR” doesn’t address these types of situations. So unless your Mom has said she doesn’t want the treatment, she will get the treatment. Honestly, most pancreatic cancer doctors will not “give up” and suggest stopping chemo until you have failed at least a couple different chemo combinations, because different ones work in different people. It is unclear by your post what treatments she has gotten so far. But as you know, pancreatic cancer is the devil, and few make it out alive.

      It is unclear to me what your Mom and Dad actually want at this point. And perhaps they don’t know? Do they want to try to pursue treatment as long as there is some hope or prolonging life? Or have they decided to just focus on comfort.

      These are incredibly difficult conversations to pursue in short doctor visits, and I strongly encourage you to go there if you feel that they are at this crossroads to help as a communicator. Also, if she stops chemo, things could decline quickly. Even if the chemo doesn’t seem to be working now, it is likely slowing things down, so if she stops she might have months… or weeks left.

      When we were at this stage with my Mom, I asked the doctor for a referral to Palliative Care. They continued to follow my mom along with her oncologist, helping us understand where we were, ask the questions about what she wanted, and actually told her when they thought she was “dying”. My Mom was still walking/talking/eating and looked pretty good, but they agreed when she asked….. yes, you are dying now. She was so grateful that someone actually said that out loud. BUT…. she still wanted chemo until the end. It was rough for all of us.

      Hospice care means an abrupt stop of all medical care except the Hospice team, in most cases. No more oncology input. No more primary care doctor.
      That is not where I think you are, but I don’t know how debilitated your mom is. Palliative Care doctors oversee hospice, but you can see them without joining hospice. Palliative care also focus on treating all of the daily quality of life symptoms that come with cancer and its treatment, and can follow you before you enter hospice and help you will you continue to fight…. until you decide you are done. And they can help by talking with you and your doctor to decide when to stop. They are great communicators, understand well these crossroads.

      1. +1 to starting with a palliative consult instead of hospice. If there’s legal/insurance/financial reasons hospice isn’t a good fit, palliative can help you communicate what you do want to all the doctors. We used the phrase “Logistically hospice doesn’t work; but we’re taking a hospice mindset” a lot.

        1. Here is one more random thought: as noted in other comments, a lot of doctors are reluctant to give their opinion/recommendation because of their well-intentioned focus on respecting the patient’s wishes. We had a lot of nurses and doctors ask us for answers to questions like: “Should we increase her morphine?” “Should we monitor her fluids?”, “Should we try to get a PICC line?” that were hard. Doctors would volunteer the pros and cons of each course of action, but we had to learn to ask specifically “Her and our biggest priority is making sure she’s not in pain. Would you tell me your recommendation/given that, tell me what to choose/what do you think we should do? explicitly asking for help with the choice, not just info, helped a lot. It made my job just to make sure I knew and kept repeating her goal.

    8. My personal experience is that the doctors were COWARDS with my stepfather. They would have poked and prodded him for as long as they could until I stopped them. Once I brought up hospice, he got to go home and spend two good months with loved ones.

  2. I am getting sworn in as a judge! What do I wear? No blazer because I’ll have to put my robe on. I’m tall so can’t be anywhere close to mini. Budget – $500 absolute MAX for something amazing.

    1. No recommendations, but congratulations! I’d probably go for a basic dress in a black or navy with amazing shoes and earrings.

    2. Woo hoo! Congratulations!! I wouldn’t worry about a blazer — men wear their judicial robes over their suit coats so I wouldn’t let that stop you if you feel more comfortable in separates. Otherwise I’d go with an amazing dress. The Fold seems to have a 10% offer that would put some of their pieces in your price range.

    3. I’d go with pants that are in a color or pattern that look good with your robe. I wouldn’t wear a skirt or dress that’s barely longer than your robe because I think it looks weird to just have a little skirt hanging below the robe. If you wear a skirt or dress that’s shorter than your robe, make sure you have a shirt, necklace, or scarf thatcan be seen when you have your robe on or else you can easily look naked underneath – if you can’t see the dress and you don’t see anything coming out at the neck, it appears you’re only wearing your robe.

      And huge congratulations!

    4. Congratulations! Are you going to get a feminine collar like RBG? Do you want your top to poke above your robe, or at the wrists? Also — earrings! Draw attention to your smiling face! Heck, I’m proud to (virtually) know you- Mazel tov!

    5. Congratulations! For my swearing in, I wore a simple black dress with pumps. I also wore pearls which look great with a black robe. Also, it goes without saying, but please, please take seriously the oath to uphold the Constitution and the laws above everything else, including politics. You are getting sworn in during strange times and our conviction to make sure we are a nation of laws and not of men/women must endure no matter how difficult. Have a wonderful swearing in!

      1. I also wore a black dress, with a necklace DH bought for me with simple pumps. I wanted my attire to match how seriously I took the occasion.

    6. I agree that you don’t need to worry about a blazer/suit jacket. Many, if not most, women judges wear them when getting sworn in. If you would prefer not to, you need the dress equivalent of a suit because you will take your oath before getting robed & you want to look appropriately dressed up for that, esp. as there is likely to be pictures.

      I would just wear a great suit.

  3. From my 20s-mid-40s, I had a good relationship with my body and with food / eating. Since my mid-40s, it had been a rough landing. Peri-menopause hit me hard — every season it seems that more clothes stop fitting. I think about food all the time (so while I may not need Ozempic to lose weight, I’d love to shut off the food noise). Also, is this just how this season of life goes? My OB is younger than I am, so no lived experience. I have an aging parent, work FT, and no time for myself to work on any of this (so not time to go to gym and barely enough to order another round of still-larger clothes). Ugh.

    1. No advice because I’m a few years behind you in this process. Would you consider re-posting earlier on a morning thread to get more responses? I think your post will get lost here at the end.

    2. I was in a similar situation, and it seemed like I was unable to lose weight during peri. It became a lot easier after full menopause, and I lost about 12 pounds I had gained over the past 10 years, pretty easily. I don’t know if it was some physical change, or, more likely, being in a better space mentally that made it easier. But no, it’s not necessarily forever. I definitely suggest buying clothes you like in your current size. In my case I got rid of a lot of smaller garments, and even though I could technically fit into them now, I’m glad I did because keeping them around just made me more unhappy. It’s ok to buy new clothes if you lose weight.

    3. Commiseration. It sounds like it. There are some things you can do, but I don’t get the impression you’re lacking information, just the lack of will to prioritize food and exercise at the expense of the immediate needs of work and family.

      Mounjaro helped me shut off the food noise. Before Mounjaro, fasting also helped with food noise once I got into the swing of it. Making a habit of Chipotle a few times a week also helped me make reasonable food choices without too much thought attached, as did keeping yogurt/kefir in the house. Good luck, whatever you do.

      1. +1. I would love to work out every day but I have small kids and a demanding job – it’s not going to happen. I’m also prediabetic with parents who have diabetes so it was a no brainer for me to go on it. It’s life changing and now I’m only on a maintenance dose every ten days.

    4. Also mid-40s and similar situation.

      Right now I’m just setting easy goals trying to walk more and drink more. Aim to walk outside but try to walk every day even if it’s just a 15 minute walk up and down the office stairs at lunch. Drinking more water because too many times life is hectic and I go all day just drinking coffee. Stocking multiple herbal teas at home and in the office helped.

    5. No advice, just commiseration. That is a perfect summary of what happened to me, too. Average weight and BMI for decades and no real issues with food or body image. Then 40 hit, I got a much-needed hysterectomy, and it’s been so difficult ever since. I am healthy by all measures, but I am heavier than I’ve ever been, my shape is changing, and it all sucks. When I try to lose weight, the food noise increases 1000% and yet the weight barely budges. I’ve given up for the sake of my sanity and figure I’ll just deal with not looking how I want to. I have finally upped my strength training and I do think it’s helping some with overall body composition.

      1. Is there something amiss with the HRT they’re doing post hysterectomy? I didn’t think that was easy to check with measures.

          1. Some women experience no difficulty post-hysterectomy, but others need HRT adjusted. My gynecologist said it was not as simple as just running some labs (measurables).

    6. A suggestion that I realize may not be for you. In past years when I’ve needed a reset, I’ve used Lent for it. Rather than give up anything (the lenten diet as I normally call it), I make the commitment to spend 5-10 minutes in the morning when the house is quiet meditating. Even if its just closing the loops on my watch. Taking that moment of peace for myself always helps.

  4. If you strongly oppose what Trump and Musk are doing, is calling your representative an effective strategy? It seems like Trump is intentionally bypassing Congress on most of these things by issuing EOs. I live in a swing district that has a Republican congressman right now, and since Republicans only have a three-seat majority his vote could be crucial in stopping some of the extreme bills when they eventually arrive in Congress. My friend wants to gather a group of people to call his office repeatedly. Also, I totally missed that there was a protest in my town and across the country. Most of my friends were unaware, too. It seems like it wasn’t well organized, though I heard turnout was decent. If it was coordinated through social media then I wouldn’t have known about it because I am taking a break from social media, which is my way of protesting the tech bros. I am also avoiding shopping at Amazon and Target. I know that Trump is intentionally trying to cause chaos, and if we spend our energy being enraged by absolutely everything going on then are we taking the bait? I have no idea what to think anymore. I have a finite amount of energy that I want to devote to a couple key causes, but I am mostly avoiding the news and social media and trying to replace them with healthy behaviors like reading and exercise. I just want to protect my mental health and focus on the things I can control.

    1. Yes, call your rep’s office, especially if they are an R. They’re the only ones that have leverage right now and I do think congressional pressure is why the earlier freeze was reversed.

      1. I keep calling my truly garbage R rep, and sometimes I think to myself, “Well, at least I can make the people who support this a-hole have a little bit of irritation in their day.”

        Petty? Yes. Does it help sometimes when I feel like nothing I say/do/vote for/talk about matters? Also yes, a little.

    2. I said this on the morning thread, but I wrote to my Senators in NC (and checked the box that I wanted a response) and I feel like it didn’t do anything. Senator Thom Tillis gave me a response stating, “There are unfortunately employees who either do not meet the high standards we should expect from our federal government or simply abuse their roles. Poor performance by these individuals places an undue burden on their fellow federal employees who have to work harder, and also causes significant waste of taxpayer dollars.”

      Senator Ted Budd didn’t respond. I have an 80 year old Dem rep in the House and she didn’t respond either.

      1. calling matters more than writing. they count number of calls per day on each issue. (i have friends who were staffers)

        1. Former staffer and current lobbyist. This isn’t true. Or maybe it is in an office I’ve never heard of. All the offices I know of, in times like this when the phones are ringing off the hook and the emails are pouring in, everything gets distilled down to a tally mark. When the phones are so busy even senior staffers can’t get their work done and are on the phones, the only thing they’re doing then is taking a tally mark of for or against. For email, the constituent contact software that receives these emails and/or the lowliest staffers will read these emails and boil them down to a for or against tally mark. At the end of the day, the lawmaker will ask for a roll-up of how the contacts are turned out that day. I was working g u n control years ago and the flood of voters really did move my boss on the issue. Not enough to break with her party, but enough to reconsider her own stance.

          But yes, for those of us who make calls or send emails, the only thing we’re going to get is a “Thank you for letting us know. The Senator appreciates every comment.” That’s just how this works. If you did manage to get through on the phone (and I’ve had to make several calls for work today and can barely get through), no staffer is going to engage with you. They’ve been told not to. The canned verbal response is no more satisfying than the canned written response. BUT those tallies when the doors are locked at the end of the day matter. Those tallies from every office are what make members speak to leadership who can maybe try to get T to back off whichever crazy ledge of his you object to.

          1. Thank you for this thorough and helpful explanation. And, I keep saying this as we keep asking this question: don’t forget to focus on your local and state reps, too. Your voice is louder with them because the pool is smaller.

    3. It’s okay to pick a couple key issues to be active about and then ignore news/media and protect your mental and physical health. It’s a marathon not a sprint. You don’t need to do everything on all the issues but doing something really helps. It’s doing nothing and taking a total head in the sand approach that normalizes what is happening.

      The current situation is beyond the normal change of government. Being consistent on calling out clear bright lines like adherence to laws can help prevent normalization of those actions (like shutting down agencies or departments is one thing, doing it without the legally required notice to Congress is an action which also attacks the rule of law).

    4. Republican rep in a swing district sounds like a pretty good bet to target for calling for what it’s worth

      1. Yes, exactly. You have more leverage than anyone else! Dems have no power and the super hard core R districts are less likely to listen to you. You’re one of the few people whose effort really might pay off!

        1. Honest question: what should I talk to my congressperson about? I am opposed to ending USAID, threatening federal loan/grant programs, displacing Palestinians in Gaza, ending birthright citizenship, deporting migrant families, ending DEI programs, how federal employees are being treated right now, the fact that Musk is running the country now, the list goes on. Does my rep have any control over any of these things? If he listens to his constituents and lets Trump know that he does not support these actions, will it make a difference? I genuinely don’t know the answer. If you can convince me that it will then I will call/write my congressperson.

          1. Something coming up or what just occurred is most useful, I think. “I want Sen. Buttcheek to vote against confirming RFK.” Or “I want Sen. Toenail to speak out against Trump’s crap plans for the Gaza Strip.”

            Who knows if it will make a difference. But not calling and just worrying definitely won’t make a difference. It’s worth a try.

          2. I’m in a swing state and I called and left a message yesterday about opposing RFK Jr. and being opposed to shutting down USAID. I may call again today with more opposition. My senator had a phone tree type system where I just left a VM so it was easy. Unfortunately, he’s so far up Trump’s @ss that it won’t make a difference, but I think this administration is counting on us all to be sheep and I want them to know we are watching and don’t like what we see.

          3. I’d personally push back most on the things that are illegal or not broadly popular but sufficiently likely to happen that action from your rep will make a difference. So Gaza is just nonsense not worth your time, it’s not going to happen. Deporting migrants is bad, but very much what Trump got elected to do and within his power, so also not the best use of your time unless you have a really compelling story to share. Banning birthright citizenship is almost certainly illegal and will be settled in court, not Congress, so again, not top priority unless you have a good story about it or feel really strongly. But USAID, grants, firing federal employees, and DEI are actually relevant to Congress, because it’s taking over Congressional power to allocate money and getting pushback from Congress about how money gets spent in their districts will really matter. I don’t think there’s actually that much support for this other from the hardcore MAGA people and hearing from people against it will really matter.

          4. Upcoming votes & anything he’s in the committee for

            Strategic trade-off, but I might also aim for things that I think have more moderate appeal broadly and/or crossover with conservative complaints: eg. “I’m concerned about the national security implications of Musk’s team accessing sensitive federal systems from unsecured devices” or “invading Gaza will bog America down in expensive long distance wars”

          5. Right now I’d focus on pushing back on Musk, protecting USAID, and confirmations for any committees your rep is on. Musk’s takeover and the dismantling of USAID is a total violation of constitutional order and separation of powers that threatens our democracy. Congress has a direct role to play there in protecting its own sovereignty to creat agencies, appropriate money, etc., so your rep has a direct interest.
            You have a huge opportunity given that you’re in a swing district. Call every day!

    5. Oh yes yes yes. You have so much more sway than I do, as I am in a solid blue state/reps/everything. Call call call. Short and sweet. Pick the biggest recent issue of the day. I would focus on the things that are happening quickly and are most disturbing. Like…. don’t worry about Gaza as that is literally insane and would take years to implement. Focus on the shutting down of government departments happening right now, or nominees that you’d like to block.

  5. Update on the art saga: When I asked here about delivery, the artist had agreed to a price weeks ago. The latest messages had been about figuring out how to get it to me. I solved that problem last week–our nanny is happy to go get it for a little more than what Roadie, for example, was charging, and this way it’s someone I know and trust. But now the artist has gone silent. She hasn’t responded in a couple weeks, and more specifically, hasn’t responded to follow ups from late last week saying we’d worked out delivery and just needed to schedule pick up.
    I have spent all this time thinking about this piece and really had my heart set on having it in my new office. There’s even a little alcove with dimensions perfect for the piece, with a picture light already installed. If I believed in this, I would say it were fated. I thought more about it, and I decided to reach out to the artist myself, despite my reservations. Basically, I decided I want the painting far more than I care about my ex’s reaction to my wanting the painting.
    I called her today and left a voicemail. I know the number is still hers because her name was on the outgoing message. I told her the other purchaser was reaching out on my behalf because I wasn’t sure how comfortable she’d be selling to me. That felt more anodyne than, “Because I think my ex would interpret this purchase as some message to him that I’m still in love with him.” Otherwise, I was honest: I told her that I’d always loved the piece, that I hadn’t stopped thinking about it for years, and that I wasn’t trying to get a sweetheart deal and was happy to pay her for her work.
    At least now, if I can’t get the painting, I’ll know I did everything I could to have it. I will keep the group posted.

    1. I bet you sparked a whole lot of family drama. This whole saga is fascinating as someone who owns a lot of original art, there’s literally no painting I love enough to do this for and the connection to an ex would probably give me the ick.

      1. Same. Girl, there is a lot of art in the world. Maybe have a piece commissioned if you’re looking for something specific.

          1. I understand this too as it has happened to me before. Love at first sight is real when it comes to art. I would never feel that way about a piece of art I ordered online because the colors matched my living room or the size matched my wall space. It’s the art that you happen to run into and can’t stop thinking about that really impacts your life.

        1. Has anyone ever successfully (it actually has the magic of good art) had a piece of art commissioned? It sounds so at odds with the artist having a creative impulse.

          1. I’m a musician and have both heard and performed many commissioned works. If the composer is good, the work is good. If the composer usually produces high school dreck, the work is standard high school dreck. Commissions don’t seem to interfere with quality or creativity.

          2. Yes I commissioned a painting of a landscape that has emotional significance to me from an artist whose work I love and it’s beautiful.

    2. Weird that she dropped the rope on scheduling delivery. Have you already paid for it? Maybe the reason she’s had it for so long is she really doesn’t want to part with it?

      1. Maybe she reads here and put two and two together. :)

        (FWIW, I am the person whose guess about the cloak-and-dagger routine was actually pretty close, so….)

      2. I’m so clearly not an art person because I don’t understand the sitch at all. She bought through a ghost buyer, yet somehow the artist knows who she is?

        1. From a few days ago. The poster wondered how to ship a painting without the shipper knowing to whom it was going. We all wondered and had many dramatic theories and short stories and novels outlined in possibility, including heists, laundering money, witness protection program, you name it. Turns out the artist is a cousin or similar relative of the poster’s ex-partner. The poster loved the artwork from years ago, and the demise of the mutual relationship didn’t spoil her desire of the artwork, but it made sense she would want to be discreet. In the poster’s mind, the artwork stands alone, with no emotional connection to ex. But does the artist recall the poster and how does the artist feel? The plot thickens

      3. No, I haven’t paid for it. And I’m not sure she’s ever actually sold anything, especially a piece this large. I’m not sure we can draw any conclusions based on how long she’s had the piece.

        1. The mystery deepens. Can I ask what you find so compelling about the artwork? Is done at a professional level or does it have other charms? Is it the subject matter or something else? You might not want to give away too much, but I’m very curious.

  6. All this discussion about the legality of Elon’s actions raises an important question about how power is distributed in our system. For years, regulatory agencies have played a role in protecting consumers, workers, and the environment, but some—like the CFPB, which was structured to bypass congressional budget control, or the EPA, which has at times enacted major policies without direct legislative approval—have operated with minimal oversight. If we value checks and balances, shouldn’t we ensure that all institutions, whether public agencies or private corporations, are held accountable in a way that aligns with democratic principles? There’s room for a conversation about consistency in how power is checked, whether in government or in the private sector.

    1. LOL ok, MAGA apologist.

      If President Elon wanted to actually fix inefficiencies or add accountability, he could do that. That’s not what he’s doing. He’s burning it all down because he fundamentally does not believe in democracy or individual rights, other than his own.

          1. No, you didn’t think anyone said that. I am certain you have an idea how many deportations Democrat administrations are responsible for.

    2. They are held accountable by litigation, i.e., by the federal courts, which form a part of the judicial branch, which is a co-equal branch of the government to the executive branch, of which they form a part. They are also held accountable by Congress, which is another co-equal branch to the executive branch, through legislation, and for some of these agencies that are not self-finding, through appropriations (i.e., funding). I hope this helps!

      1. Relying on litigation isn’t enough. The Constitution grants Congress—not the courts—the power to oversee federal agencies through budget control and legislative authority. The CFPB circumvents this by drawing funds from the Federal Reserve instead of congressional appropriations, operating outside the constitutional framework. While some argue that judicial review is a sufficient check, courts were never meant to be the primary oversight mechanism—Congress was.

        Judicial review is also reactive and often comes years after an agency has already caused irreparable harm. The CFPB is a prime example, imposing sweeping regulations with little oversight, forcing businesses and consumers to comply with policies that may later be overturned—but not before significant damage is done.

    3. You don’t hold the government accountable by installing a government contractor who is self-interested in skewing funds his way. He’s going to use the information to make himself richer. Not everyday Americans.

  7. I posted a couple of days ago looking for a recommendation for an electric shaver for my leg hair. I didn’t get any recommendations but admonitions that it wouldn’t work and would give me stubble.

    I bought this one and am very happy with it:

    https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0D3HV1NCR?ref=ppx_yo2ov_dt_b_fed_asin_title&th=1

    I don’t feel any stubble, and I asked my husband whether he felt any. He did not.

    I’m really pleased with it. Shaving my legs in the shower is no longer working for me, mainly because I can’t see without my glasses! Using this shaver while sitting on a towel outside of the shower was exactly the solution I was looking for.

    1. I’m happy you found something that works for you, but it had truly never occurred to me until reading this post that people shave by sight! I’m nearsighted, so I’ve never been able to see when shaving, it’s always been something I do by feel, as is everything else I do in the shower.

    2. Glad you found a solution. I thought the responses to your original post were so weird. Even if an electric shaver leaves some stubble, surely stubble is preferable to some than the long, dark super obvious hair some of us have?

      1. Seriously. My leg hair grows obscenely fast. Like I could easily shave every day. An electric shaver is a lifesaver for in-between times, especially in the summer!

    3. Thanks for sharing! I am suffering from some lesions or something on my legs that, I think, are a weird presentation of ingrown hairs. I finally purchased a laser device, but this also looks great and I may get this, as well.

    4. Thanks for sharing?

      Does it hurt? How hairy are you? I’m curious how long you can go between shaves.

      I know what you mean about needing your glasses to shave!

      1. I’m not terribly hairy. If I want to wear dresses, I need to shave every 2-3 days, but I don’t, because I primarily wear pants.

        It doesn’t hurt at all! I found I got a better shave with the electric if I pushed down a bit, but not enough to hurt.