ByElizabeth Hours Updated
Comments 271 Comments

Thursday’s Workwear Report: Print Tunic Top

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

A woman wearing a black and white polka dots long sleeve top and black pants

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

This polka-dot top from Anne Klein looks like it could easily become a wardrobe workhorse. The neutral colors go with everything, the longline silhouette can be worn tucked in or left out, and it’s even machine washable.

I have a few tops like this that I keep on hand because I know that they’ll look good with just about anything, and don’t require much thought from me. 

The top is $69 at Nordstrom and comes in sizes XXS-XL.

Need a larger size? Check out this Anne Klein top at Nordstrom for $35 on sale.

Sales of note for 3/26/25:

  • Nordstrom – 15% off beauty (ends 3/30) + Nordy Club members earn 3X the points!
  • Ann Taylor – Extra 50% off sale + additional 20% off + 30% off your purchase
  • Banana Republic Factory – Friends & Family Event: 50% off purchase + extra 20% off
  • Eloquii – 50% off select styles + extra 50% off all sale
  • J.Crew – 30% off tops, tees, dresses, accessories, sale styles + warm-weather styles
  • J.Crew Factory – Shorts under $30 + extra 60% off clearance + up to 60% off everything
  • M.M.LaFleur – 25% off travel favorites + use code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – $64.50 spring cardigans + BOGO 50% off everything else

271 Comments

    1. Remember Speigel? I had a rayon lavender with white polka dot blouse that I wore for YEARS from Speigel.

  2. If you are looking for a truly interesting, eye opening read, and have a subscription to the NYT, the article (probably from Sunday, but available online) written by a gay son whose father is an evangelical pastor is unbelievably moving. It includes excerpts from his father’s journal, written as he came to terms with what could have had a very different outcome, is a study in grace, and love. Was a bit of balm for my very, very battled soul.

    1. I read that this morning! So lovely and definitely a balm for the soul in these trying times.

    2. Thanks for the heads up. I tried reading it earlier but gave up because of the infuriating format (it’s one of those annoying ones where you have to scroll and scroll and scroll and nothing happens and then you finally get some text and then you have to scroll and scroll some more and an image pops up and then you scroll and scroll again and some flashing thing about how to bookmark your place and then you scroll and scroll again before there’s finally anything to read). But maybe I’ll try to go back to it later.

      1. Between that and the obnoxious clickbait (“He wanted to remodel his home. What happened next stunned him.”), I’ve found reading the news and especially the NYT to be a test in patience.

      3. OP here – 1000% agree. I read on my laptop, which helped, but the formatting was tough. Plus, no option to send as a gift article, although I have not reached my monthly limit, which was doubly frustrating.

      4. I read it on my phone and didn’t have this issue. The commentary is formatted as an overlay of the journal entries but it scrolled/read fine in Safari.

      6. I also read it on my phone and didn’t have this issue. I really like it when the NYT makes more interactive, dynamic articles like this.

    3. I think the fact that the 13 year old kid felt okay coming out to his evangelical father at all shows that there was some hope there. Very touching read

    5. I just finished this! So lovely. I was struck by how incredibly self-aware his dad was throughout.

  3. I saw some people yesterday looking for specific actions to do in this political environment, so I compiled a shortlist from different sources in case anyone finds it helpful:

    Call members of Congress and demand any of the following-
    – Stop all confirmations. Put holds on every Trump nominee. No more hearings or confirmation votes until you get back your appropriations authority, whether through litigation or investigations.
    – Delay special elections to fill seats of representatives Trump has picked. For example, lawmakers in New York are readying a bill to give Gov. Kathy Hochul until the summer to fill Stefanik’s seat.

    Call your Senators and:
    – Tell them to use their power in the minority to call for a quorum and constantly demand quorum calls on any and all Trump initiatives. Blocking unanimous consent forces roll-call votes, debates, and delays on even the most basic motions, and it will consume hours (or days) of floor time. It would also kill Trump’s fast-track confirmations.

    Contact your state’s attorney general and:
    – Urge them to file complaints and injunctions against Elon Musk (for whom we didn’t even vote…) and his tech buddies for committing identify theft, violating the Privacy Act, and taking over Congress’s spending power in Article I, Section 8 of the Constitution

    If calling isn’t your thing, then:
    – Order red cards from Immigrant Legal Resources Center and make them available in and around your community
    – Join groups that are moving your city or state forward, in contrast to regressive moves at the federal level.
    – Lobby, organize, and fundraise for progressive legislators.
    – Organize or participate in boycotts of companies that are enabling actions or ideologies you disagree with (for example, I have deleted my Amazon, Meta [Fb/Insta/Whtsapp], and X accounts, stopped buying from Target, and shifted my spend to companies I support like Costco).

    Not everything above is going to be meaningful or doable for everyone, but I hope it’s helpful for those who want some concrete to-do’s.

      1. Very nice list.

        I want to say, I HATE talking on the phone. But I womaned up and called all my people and it actually felt really good. I was only able to leave voicemails, but I think that counts? I think I’m going to try to make it a habit to call a couple of times a week for as long as I can.

        I started with the scripts from 5 calls, but then went off book and I don’t even care that I probably sounded a little desperate and frantic, albeit still coherent. They need to hear from us.

    2. Thank you for this list! My congressperson is R but my senators are Ds. The House doesn’t vote to confirm cabinet positions, right? I have not been mentioning the nominees in my calls to my congressman because that doesn’t seem to be in his purview.

    3. Great list. Other things to consider are subscribing to publications doing investigative journalism, and supporting legal defense funds. Giving people threatened with deportation legal assistance is really important.

    4. You should not support progressive legislators unless you’ve researched them, agree with their stances, think they can be effective, and can win. Some progressive legislators and activists are completely out of touch with what people need and want. We need to support people that are focused on getting things done instead of focusing on their ideologies.

      1. My main ideology at this point is not allowing unelected billionaires to destroy things for their personal profit and who to undermine the rule of law while doing so.

        But other side seems more focused on stuff like shutting down the women’s club at West Point which has existed since 1976.

        1. As a former Army officer, are they really talking about the women’s club?! Link? Thank you!

          1. “The dozen clubs that are being disbanded right away include the Corbin Forum, a group to promote female leaders, founded in 1976 when women were first admitted to West Point; the Latin Cultural Club; the National Society of Black Engineers Club; the Vietnamese-American Cadet Association; Spectrum, for L.G.B.T.Q. cadets; and the Society of Women Engineers Club. “
            https://www.nytimes.com/2025/02/05/us/west-point-clubs-women-minorities.html

            They are not just talking about it. It has been done.

      2. Disagree with some of this. Yes to research. Yes to thinking through their stances. But taking ethical stances is vital, and “getting things done” too often means compromise of those ethics. (See, for example, my disgusting senator, John Fetterman.) And “whether they can win” is the strategy of the DNC and Chuck Schumer et. al, and it doesn’t work because the idealization of centrism is a fantasy that has never been true and certainly isn’t anymore.

        1. Well, the idealism of progressives is certainly a fantasy. Democrats and liberals really need to internalize that they are out of step with the majority of Americans. They are losing because people don’t want what they are selling. They can continue to self soothe with ideologies right into oblivion, or decide to represent the majority of their constituents.

          1. What’s popular with a majority of Americans isn’t popular with the Americans who matter; it all comes down to Citizens United. Democrats hate it when one of their candidates becomes popular by speaking against the health insurance industry or proposing to tax corporations or Wall Street.

          2. Yeah, except that what I’m seeing is that a majority of Americans are actually racist, transphobic, and xenophobic. So nah. You may be right that the U.S. is a lost cause, though.

          3. I actually think you’re right on this — the majority of Americans wanted racism & tr@nsphobia and are cheering this destructive performance of “strength.” Representing the majority of Americans means accepting that we are a nation of hatred.

          4. Interestingly, when presented with “progressive” ideas like healthcare for all, better wages, alternative energy production, most Americans like these ideas as long as they are not attributed to Democrats. I think the Washington Post did a piece that showed a majority of Americans preferred Harris’ platform to Trump’s.

            But because Americans view politics like sports and will only vote for “their” team (and because yeah, a lot of Americans are racist and misogynistic) Trump won. Unless Musk messed with the voting machines, which I still fall on the side of thinking that is a conspiracy theory, but I don’t know.

        1. Please list the “too far left positions” (that Kamala Harris actually took and campaigned on) that lost us the election.

          1. You already know what they’re going to say and it’s going to be about tr@ns people.

          2. Yes, exactly. The number of people who have no real knowledge of trans life, trans medicine, and trans experience love to spew hatred, fear, and nonsense. It’s at the cost of real humans, and it’s so uninformed.

      4. Why limit this stance just to “progressives?” We should learn what our representatives support – and hopefully we have common ground & if we don’t we should be educating THEM on what we think is important – including the CONSTITUTION which some of those elected’s seem to have little regard for…

  4. Could anyone point me to good surrogacy resources please? I’m in Texas and struggling.

    1. Are you willing to travel? The answer may be obvious but I don’t know if surrogacy is legal in Texas. I just learned last week that it isn’t legal everywhere. California Fertility Partners in LA may be able to help.

      1. I would recommend traveling as a necessity for doing this ethically. I’ve known multiple people who were surrogates all along the spectrum of ethicality, from a sister who volunteered to carry a baby for her sister to a housekeeper who was doing it only because she desperately needed the funds to secure her family’s living situation. Ask yourself how you would be able to support the surrogate and her family should the worst happen, and make sure you have answers you’re comfortable living with.
        I’m so sorry you’re in this situation. Just because it is complicated and ethically fraught doesn’t mean you can’t do it, but it does mean you have to do a lot more work on top of what you’ve already done. I wish you the best.

    2. I’d check out a niche private Facebook groups. I don’t have a specific recommendations but I had another fertility issue and found a lot of helpful info and support from such a group.

      Also, a friend was actually a surrogate x2. She had a fantastic experience. She knew she had easy, enjoyable pregnancies and it was a transformative amount of money for her family. She still keeps in contact with the families that she assisted and it’s just an all around warm and positive thing for everyone. Some anecdata in case you had fears of this being completely exploitive of the surrogates!

      1. I read through a surrogacy contract once and it was not just eye-opening but eye-popping. If I had one to link to, I’d recommend to everyone as stuff people should be aware of. And this for one in the US. I can’t imagine how it would be in somewhere like India or Ukraine.

        1. I read an article in my local paper after Russia invaded Ukraine about an American couple that used (“used” is accurate) a Ukrainian woman as their surrogate. They flew from the US to just outside Ukraine, made their surrogate come to them at great cost to her personal safety, and got some random doctor to induce her preterm. They left with the baby and left the surrogate high and dry.

          2. I read the same article too. I believe the woman got paid some insanely small 4 figure amount. To literally carry and birth a baby.

      2. what do you recommend then? I have tried 16 failed cycles of IVF, adoption is out of question (husband’s family trauma) and I am 41.

        1. surrogacy is human trafficking, so I recommend accepting that children are not a commodity you can buy and no one is entitled to them.

          2. Thank you. Just because you want something doesn’t mean your entitled to get it via immoral means.

            I would have loved to have another child but could not safely carry to term. I stuck with one rather than buying the body of a poor woman.

        2. oh my god. please don’t listen to this. yes, like most things, it can absolutely be exploited in a very terrible way. so, you’re doing the right things – do your research.

          OP, I did IVF for ever and ever and was ultimately successful but before my last cycle went down the path of education on the topic. I’m absolutely no pro, it was mostly surface level research online, but a threshold thing I realized out of the gate was it’s very state by state. Of particular interest were the rights of the surrogate over the baby – could the surrogate claim legal parental status. It was as fascinating topic to come to preliminarily understand.

          I found a lot of fertility clinics also had pages dedicated to adoption and surrogacy. That’s where I spent a lot of time of my research. I also searched for surrogacy agencies and, without knowing reputation, just read a lot of their pages about process, etc.

          If I were to have actually gone down the path of surrogacy, I probably would not have done it without a personal referral, which would have been hard to come by because it’s not as common as, say, adoption. But, I would have been able to get that eventually via my network, or honestly by posting here, my location and asking for references or personal contacts.

          Good luck to you. Infertility is the absolute pits.

        3. I’m so sorry for what you’ve been through. Sixteen egg retrievals is more than I’ve ever heard of anyone going through, you’re a true warrior. Does your IVF clinic have resources on surrogacy? Can they connect you to someone local who can at least help you navigate this?

          I’m sure you’ve already done this, but I’d also talk to my RE (and some other REs too) about all the possible next steps. If you have some embryos left, then the clinic might be able to help you find a gestational carrier. If you don’t have embryos then I’m not sure if you’ve explored adopting embryos? Or using donor eggs and/or sperm? Those are options your clinic should be able to facilitate. And if they can’t then go to another clinic. Not sure if there is a CUNY in TX but they are well known for being the best with tough cases.

        4. Accept being childless. It’s just not in the cards for you and no one is entitled to commodify a human being. We don’t always get what we want.

        6. I always wonder what would happen if I could access IVIG therapy (which is indicated for a condition I have, but is hard to get insurance to cover).

          I know people who had no luck until they were diagnosed with unrelated autoimmune conditions and put on IVIG. The theory I’ve read is that there is probably one or more autoimmune pathologies that cause infertility but no diagnostic test yet.

        7. Donor eggs? But ultimately a baby is not something you’re entitled to. I’m sorry for what you’ve been through. But sadly a lot of people have to accept being childless.

      3. That is spectacularly unhelpful to OP and frankly often not true. One of my dearest friends acted as a surrogate and did not feel the slightest bit victimized. She is a lesbian who required help getting pregnant and wanted to provide the same for a gay couple. She is a nurse, an educated professional, and made her own choice. She does not need or want people on the internet protecting her and acting like she is a child who cannot make her own decisions.

        OP – surrogacy is not illegal in Texas. I suggest you ask your fertility specialist for a reference to an attorney who specializes in this and can assist you. The first decision is whether to use a gestational surrogate and a separate egg donor (which is what my friend did), which is much, much less risky from a legal standpoint but an attorney will be able to assist you. If your doctor cannot help, then try some of the FB groups.

        Good luck!

        1. I will say that a friend needed to use an egg donor. That said, that imposes burdens on women that are materially different than men who donate sperm. Those contracts are also interesting.

          That said, I know two people who donated kidneys to strangers. There is risk there also. But IMO those situations are very different.

          1. A lot of egg donors are people who have done IVF and have leftover eggs. Or people who froze their eggs and later decided they didn’t want children. I’m sure a lot of them are also college students who want the cash. But I think OP could choose how the donated eggs come to her, if that’s a concern.

            Similarly, you can adopt embryos, which have a much greater chance of surviving thaw than eggs. The embryos are usually left over from a couple doing IVF who got more embryos than they needed but don’t want to just destroy their remaining embryos. If OP has trouble both making embryos and getting them to stick, then she could adopt an embryo and work with a gestational carrier.

          2. My roommate at 22 years old donated eggs a lot of times and she made so much money. She was ultra fit and I promise you it was no stress on her body. She HAPPILY did it.

            She wasn’t destitute or in debt. It was extra cash. She bought a house in a MCOL area at 26 and she’s sitting pretty at 40 today. Not everything is exploitative.

          3. I thought about donating eggs back when I was young and in debt. I decided against it because of the unknown unknowns then and also because I knew that if I couldn’t later have a child, I’d beat myself up over maybe it was something about egg donating that caused it. (I feel like this is more understood now but a friend had some ovary overstimulation that sent her to the hospital during IVF egg retrievals). You never know. I didn’t want to mess with my body.

      5. This response lacks so much nuance. What do you say to women diagnosed with hormone -receptor positive cancers at a young age? Should they be forced to be childless?

        1. I really want children, and it’s heartbreaking to think about not having them, but yes, in the end, I think a child is not a right, and there are some things I’m not willing to do to get one. There are other things we don’t allow – like buying an organ – even though people desperately need one – because we as a society don’t allow that to be commercialized, and because it is very vulnerable to exploitation even if a person could theoretically freely consent.

          2. Sounds like people here might accept surrogacy if it is a managed like a “donation,” like organ donations. Seems like the objectionable factor is in the payment of money to the surrogate, not the act of carrying someone else’s child.

        2. We do tell people that — they may never be able to conceive or carry a child. I feel like we tell people that all the time. And there are tons of people I know who’d love to have a child but they may be single or not financially able to have one or maybe biologically can’t have one. It’s hard not to get what you want when others easily have those things / families. Life isn’t fair.

          1. I’ve cried a lot about not being able to have a family. Even though I did all the things I was supposed to do. It just wasn’t in the cards for my marriage.

      6. So my body, my choice and “trust women” – unless those women want to make a choice you disagree with. In which case, you will be happy to tell them they are too stupid/poor/uneducated to make their own decisions and you are going to make it for them.

        Listen to yourself. And wonder why some women do not really think that liberals are pro-women.

      1. I feel like if fast fashion is ethically fraught and this is just another thing you can do with money, we are in a very weird place.

    5. OP, when I asked a similar question a few months back, I got all these same answers. Ignore them. Your clinic will have surrogacy agencies it works with – speak to them.

      I was surprised during my surrogacy consult that much of what I had googled was inaccurate / from sketchy sites I thought looked trustworthy. Call your clinic today and ask for the surrogacy info and get it from a good source to start with. Hugs to you.

    6. I apologize if it’s hard for you to go over there, but you might get more compassionate responses on the mom’s page. People tend to be nicer there. Best of luck to you in this difficult journey.

      1. I’m childfree by choice so feel like I really have nothing to add above, but I am really shocked by how unkind some of the comments are above. I didn’t think there was anything wrong or coercive about OP’s message at all. OP, I wish you the best.

        1. I feel like if we have vegans and ethical qualms about SHEIN, how could we not mention that this isn’t just another consumer transaction?

          1. Nah, it’s disgusting to think your WANT makes it okay to purchase a human being, so selfish.

        3. Same. So gross. Also I’m completely fine with educated, well resourced people using surrogates to have families. They’ll likely raise good kids.

          2. It’s super weird that you think having money makes you a good parent. The worst people I know are rich.

    7. Hiring a woman in the state of Texas, which is hostile to pregnancy, to carry a baby for you is certainly a Choice. I genuinely encourage you to seek therapy and analyze why you think your need to be pregnant is more important than a lesser-financially-privileged woman’s need to be medically safe during a pregnancy in Texas.

      No one owes you a baby.

  5. I work in state government, a job that can be high-stress but has good pay and benefits, and offers a decent work-life balance and now a hybrid schedule. That is why I have stayed here for 10 years. I am looking around at women (our department is mostly women) who have been working here for 20+ years. Many of them suffer from migraines and other health conditions that are exacerbated by stress. I don’t think they have any sort of regular exercise routine (to be fair, neither do I but I am trying). They make six-figures and live in an LCOL area and have loads of PTO (separate from sick leave) but still only take one vacation a year to someplace local, for four days. They frequently have to take time off work due to illness and doctors’ appointments. Is this just part of getting older (they are in their 50s-60s) or can I avoid those health problems? I just turned 40 and have been thinking about what it means to age well.

    1. I think about this a lot. I’m a few years older than you. I have a really low stress and somewhat low prestige job that allows me to work out for an hour most days. It’s the real key to mental health and feeling good for me, personally. It’s hard not to think that I *should* be able to balance a bigger job and kids and the physical activity that I know is key to my short and long term health. I know women that can and do do that. But the reality is when I worked more demanding jobs exercise went out the window every time and mental health along with it. It’s a huge privilege to be able to choose to take a lower paying career path and I’ll maybe regret it. But, as I watch my parents age, my health has shifted to the biggest priority.

    2. Yes, you are doomed.
      Seriously, you’re conflating economic decisions with health decisions. Everyone’s health is their own and you can make whatever choices you’d like to try and achieve an outcome you want. You can’t beat everything though and a lot of it is luck.

        1. Going on vacation is not a health issue. It’s a choice about how to spend money.

    3. You sound like you know better how to live and make choices than those women so if you live in a way thinking “I do not want to turn out like they did” you can probably have a better outcome.

      1. No, she doesn’t know better. And even if she does, it’s not enough to know better — you also have to DO better. See: also doesn’t exercise (but thinks about it lol).

    4. So aging well is a complicated issue and I can’t say what’s going on with your coworkers, but as someone who has had chronic m*graine since my 20s, I want to speak a little to the judginess in your post. I’ve always been active and continue to exercise daily, and it has no effect on my pain, other than to sometimes make it worse. I don’t travel much because it makes me feel so much worse (I have a lot of trouble with motion sickness and changes in eating and sleeping times are big triggers), plus having to catch up at work after taking time off often isn’t really worth it so it’s easier to just keep working at a constant pace. Plus who knows if they have kids or spouses who can’t take time off to travel.

      If you want to age well, focus on you and what you can do, not judging what other people are dealing with. All science suggests that regular exercise, a healthy diet, and reducing stress will help, but are certainly no guarantee against bad luck.

      1. +1. By the time you hit middle age, all of your choices impact you. If you exercised tons, you don’t have any knee cartilage. If you did too much yoga you have a messed up back. If you did a paleo diet you need statins.

        1. My creaky knee and I (age 65) commend this analysis. Hoping I pounded enough pavement as a runner when I was young to stave off my risk of osteoporosis.

      2. Thanks for this. You are right that I am being judgy and should focus on my own health. A key point that I forgot to mention is that the women I am talking about are in management/leadership positions which adds to their daily stress. I know that I can’t handle that level of stress and choose to prioritize my mental and physical health, as another poster mentioned above.

        1. OP, the other thing I see in here is that sometimes, it is hard to escape the mindset of those that you spend so many waking hours with, and I would be cautious about that. I remember one summer in college, I filled in as a clerk at a job I barely remember, filling in for a maternity leave. Three days in, the older ladies were telling me I was too productive and making them look bad – while i can’t remember the particulars of the job, I remember that so clearly. It is hard to be different at work, and there can be a ton of pressure to conform. Make sure you have a community outside of work that values the lifestyle you create.

          1. You’re exactly right – for a long time I didn’t have friendships outside of work and I can very much see myself headed down this path if I don’t make some changes now. I am just starting to make friendships outside of work and now have good role models for healthy living.

        2. A comment on that. I know it’s derided but Sheryl Sandberg was right. The higher you go, the better your life is. I sit in the c-suite now and while yes, there’s stress and pressure, I am personally far less stressed than when I was more junior. So much more is in your control the more authority you have. And also, you don’t have to internalize the stress. That’s the fastest way to burn out.

          2. This is very true. I do wonder if for every woman who was able to grind through the stress as a junior and made it to the top there aren’t more women like me who found themselves burned out and unwell with little to show for it. Your path was the dream. But maybe we need to reprioritize when it’s clear that dream is out of reach.

          3. I am in state government and this is my experience too– the higher you go the more stressful it is. I know a couple mid-career women (moms) in my agency who have taken demotions because being in executive leadership was just not possible at their stage in life. Maybe this is different in Sheryl’s Samberg’s world, but most of us don’t live there.

          4. I think it’s ACTUALLY the more money you make, the better your life is.

            So C-suite with mega $ = easier life.
            Executive in government, non-profit, whatever = all the stress with no upside.

          5. Not for me. I had a C-suite job and I was very glad to take a pay cut and do something less stressful.

    5. I understand that not everyone likes to travel, but I can’t comprehend not taking vacation time.

      2. Is it clear that they’re really not taking any vacation time though? If someone just takes days here and there and also takes a lot of sick days, for appointments, you’d have to be paying a creepy amount of attention to know for sure how many days they were taking, unless you’re their boss signing off on them.

        1. These women are my managers/coworkers so their appointments, illnesses and vacations come up in conversation.

      3. If the work just piles up during vacation, it can feel more stressful to have to catch up after getting back.

        1. I think a lot of women have anticipatory anxiety about that and it’s never actually that bad.

          1. Maybe? It’s never been bad at any of my jobs, but it’s a thing at my husband’s job and usually honestly worse than I was expecting it to be just in terms of the “will he be home for dinner and can we make it to anything we have planned” impact on me that week after.

          2. Totally depends on the job. I spent a lot of my career in roles with production-based deadlines (publishing, event planning, etc) those years were a lot different than my current role. I’m also working somewhere now where I’m part of a bigger team and it makes it a ton easier to actually get away without having to pop on to deal with a fire. I didn’t change or even much of the culture —my role did.

      4. I’ve been in the C suite. I could nominally take a vacation, but it was absolutely a working vacation. That’s our corporate culture.

        When I was a rung below, my boss used to say “if I can do without you for two weeks, I can do without you.”

        There’s all the striving to get to that level, but then once you’re there, it’s the same amount of striving to keep it. No one coasts.

    6. I don’t think it’s just about the job, I think there are a lot of women of that generation and older that just don’t prioritize exercise or believe it’s acceptable to do stuff for themselves.

      My mom is older (71), but this is basically how she and her sisters operated and it was a huge wake up call to me when I started working that I need to be active and proactively plan my PTO. I get its hard with menopause, kids, etc., to be active but at some point those responsibilities go away and if you’ve never set the habit to exercise or take an annual vacation it’s hard to pick it up in your 50s.

    7. I don’t know exactly what’s going on with your coworkers, but I do think there is sometimes an attitude of vacation = coming back to even more work and stress. I certainly have seen it for myself, and it has deterred me from taking time off (because what’s the point). It has taken real work on my part to learn to take the vacation or time off anyway. I also have to balance that with the knowledge that travel may be fun but is rarely restorative in this stage of life (travel happens with kids, not solo or with just my spouse). Not everybody gets there.

      It sounds like you know that stress management is key, and that will help with your overall health and well-being as you age. But, also know that health issues come for most of us eventually, so try not to judge your older coworkers too much. I’m also guessing that based on their age and gender, they are pulling a heavy load outside of work.

    8. I think it really depends what they have going on. Just simple things like getting PT for orthopedic issues as soon as they arise can really help vs. suffering for years as things get worse and worse until they’re harder to treat and mobility suffers.

      On the other hand if it’s something like autoimmune disease, avoiding infectious diseases matters more. If they’re out because they’re sick with whatever is going around or because it’s flaring an underlying immune condition, handwashing and wearing a mask would serve them better than a workout regimen (though getting steps in still matters for cardiovascular fitness).

      1. Yeah, and this touches on an important point that aging well actually requires a lot of doctor’s appointments! Just regular preventative care includes 1 PCP visit, possibly a separate gyn visit, 2 dentist appointments, 1 eye doctor visit, and 1 mammogram, plus a colonoscopy every so often. Then you have regular visits for every health condition, possibly frequent lab work, physical therapy, and annual dermatologist appointments if you’re susceptible to skin cancer. And if you have kids or a spouse or aging parents who need someone to accompany them to their appointments, you can double or triple that! And that can be just for someone who’s more or less healthy. If you actually get sick, it’s even worse.

        1. This, and make it 2-3 eye visits for fit checks/adjustments if you actually need to get new contacts/glasses.

    9. Some things can be avoided, but some are genetic and an awful lot of them surface after menopause. Let those ladies manage their health and you manage yours. Eating well, exercising and staying on top of checkups are simple, but they are not easy. Run your own race.

      1. Not to mention you can do it all, by the book, and still be sidelined by cancer or autoimmune issues or accidents, and once you get started with required meds, it’s a slippery slope.

    10. I am a manager for a state government unit that is mostly women, broad range of ages in the group, fairly high stress at the management levels due to client expectations, political realities, and a large unit to supervise. While my exercise was almost nil for about a dozen years when my kids were young, I carved out time for exercise (lots) in the years before kids (twins) and I returned to regular exercise once they were middle school age. I continue to exercise regularly, but not as much as I would like. My doctor spoke to me recently about how I have set myself in the best position to have decades of healthy life ahead of me. I love my family, I love my work, I love my life and I expect that to continue into retirement when I turn 70 in 3 months. I don’t know how to avoid health problems. I follow the science, try to live a balanced life and be as flexible and positive as I can, but it largely comes down to the genetic lottery and the economics of being able to afford good health care.

    11. I’m sorry, but what even is this post. They’re hard workers, good workers, have been promoted, so leave them alone and don’t compare/judge so harshly? This reads as “how do I NOT become them because EW.”

      Focus on yourself. Focus on your priorities. Your health is your own. Live and let live. Sheesus.

      1. I guess I was just wondering if other people notice this in their offices or if it’s just mine. And if I work in an environment that is so stressful and toxic that it eventually takes a toll on employees’ health. I have worked here so long I don’t even know anymore.

        1. I think people age and health issues come up. They’re older than you so they’re going to have more health issues by definition. That’s life.

          I’m in a very stressful, toxic job that I weirdly happen to like. People around me do all sorts of things – they exercise like nuts and others also do coke and cheat on their spouses. I don’t do anything to either extreme and I’ve had more “health issues” because I turned 40, not because of my job.

          1. Hmmm… I bet you have one and don’t even know it. Are you really, really mean? Submissive? Binge watch dating shows?

        2. Your description of a good work-life balance doesn’t seem to mesh with your description of a high-stress, toxic environment.

          Also, you seem to have a very narrow view of how you think these senior colleagues and managers are or should be handling their stress. It’s rather toxic of you to blame them for their stress levels and really naive to assume health and well-being is entirely predicated on minimizing one’s personal exposure to stress.

        3. Women’s life/bodies change a lot in their 40s and 50s. Menopause can be rough for some. Many/most gain weight. Sleep and mood can be altered. And for some women burdened with migraines they actually get worse with menopause.

          Many get divorced, or have unsatisfying personal lives they don’t tell you about. Many have kids who they still support, and they are taking care of parents. Some have given up so much of their life to work and take care of family they are honestly a little lost once their kids are gone. Most are just trying to make $ so they can retire securely, as no one is safe these days unless you are rich and/or have family to take care of you. Maybe they are in more debt than you know.

          It hurt me to read your post, because I was picturing my Mom, working hard, abused and underappreciated, going into work even when she had a migraine. Not using all of her vacation time because she didn’t have work coverage and also – she didn’t have a lot people to go on vacation with (separated from husband, kids all gone) and her migraines made traveling rough and she worried that she needed to save her vacation/sick time in case she needed another surgery (lots of breast biopsies, already had a hysterectomy).

          Exercise just made her migraines worse.

          You are still young, and only see things from what you know. Wait until you are on the other side.

        4. I’ve been looking around at my mid-sized biotech company and noticed that there aren’t that many older people. It’s very department dependent with lots of <40/<30 departments around, with older folks concentrated in leadership positions. Maybe it's confirmation bias, maybe it's the nature of my company having a lot of hiring/growth/turnover, also the nature of biotech being a relatively new industry that's grown by leaps and bounds in the last decade. I think it's nice you have a department with people nearer to retirement as I keep wondering where everyone goes if they're not a leader. In an ideal world maybe they went FIRE with stock options.

          1. I would be concerned about any workplace that doesn’t have many folks past 40–that’s usually a sign they have been pushed out when they got too expensive. Like it or not, but we all will age. A healthy company culture would have age diversity just like any other diversity. If everyone is young or only a few are above 40, get out now. You’re in danger, girl.

          2. Also in biotech at a company where people tend to be lifers. A lot of the older people retired on the earlier side after making bank on the stock. That’s my goal, too. This is harder if you’re in a younger and/or smaller company. And with all of the companies that have gone under or had big layoffs (at least here in Cambridge) in the past couple years, it might be that a lot of older people were laid off along with others, but the older people are having trouble landing the next gig, because of ageism, etc.

        5. My terrible non-answer: there are virtually no women with seniority in my company at the age you describe. They burn out or get pushed out in their 30s or 40s, or never rise. So your colleagues are killing it, OP! Focus on that, not on the fact that they sacrificed their vacation time to get there.

    12. TL;DR – Stacy Sims’ Best Practices for Perimenopause & Menopause
      Lift Heavy & Fast – Strength training (low reps, heavy weights, power moves) prevents muscle loss, improves metabolism, and protects bones as estrogen declines.

      Eat More Protein (Based on LBM) – Aim for 1g per pound of lean body mass (LBM) to counteract muscle loss and insulin resistance.

      Formula: LBM = Total Body Weight – (Weight × Body Fat %)
      Example: A 150 lb woman at 30% body fat → LBM = 105 lbs → Protein goal = 105g/day
      Optimize Cardio & Avoid Prolonged HIIT (e.g., OrangeTheory) – Prioritize Zone 2 and short HIIT sessions (under 30 min) for cardiovascular health without spiking cortisol, which can lead to belly fat. Avoid long-duration HIIT classes that elevate stress hormones and contribute to muscle breakdown.

      Manage Blood Sugar – Cut refined carbs, increase fiber, and avoid late-night carbs to counteract estrogen’s role in insulin sensitivity.

      Improve Sleep & Recovery – Sleep worsens due to cortisol and hormone imbalances, so support with magnesium, tart cherry juice, and stress reduction.

      Support Estrogen Naturally – Flaxseeds, soy (whole-food sources), and gut health support can help modulate estrogen metabolism post-menopause.

      Lower Cortisol – Chronic stress and overtraining increase fat storage; balance workouts and recovery to avoid burnout.

      Use Targeted Supplements – Creatine, vitamin D + K2, Omega-3s, and magnesium help maintain muscle, cognition, bone health, and metabolism.

      Protect Bones – Strength training + impact movements (jumping, plyos) counteract bone density loss as estrogen drops.

      Work With Your Physiology – Menopause isn’t a time to slow down; train smarter, focus on muscle-building, and adjust nutrition to support long-term health.

          1. Much of it isn’t. Telling women that they cannot run or do Orangetheory once they hit 35 is just a blanket statement without real support.

          2. That’s not what I said. No one’s saying women can’t run or do HIIT—it’s just about training in a way that works with hormonal changes. From what I continue to heard from doctors who specialize in perimenopause and menopause, long-duration HIIT (like Orangetheory) can spike cortisol, which over time might make it harder to keep muscle and recover well. Shorter HIIT, Zone 2 cardio, and strength training seem to be better for long-term health without adding extra stress to the body.

            I think we can all agree that there’s a huge gap in research when it comes to menopause in general, which is why conversations like this matter. It’s not about restricting movement—it’s about training smarter so we can keep muscle, stay strong, and feel good long-term.

          3. And to add, anecdotally, I’ve seen so many women try to get back into the workouts they did in their 20s—i.e. Orange Theory, Barry’s—and it just ends up being too taxing. Even for women who are in great shape, it seems to wear them down in a different way. It’s not about ability; it’s just that our bodies respond differently, and what used to feel energizing can start to feel depleting.

      2. With the point here being peri and menopause can be hard. It can be hard work to keep yourself together as you age. Also, don’t be afraid of HRT with a trusted doctor.

    13. I’m 45 and so is my husband, and I will say that a lot of our medical issues started after hitting 40. We are both relatively active, professional ppl who hadn’t had major medical issues before. Both of us have had surgeries to fix sports/use related medical issues, one 100% successful and the other mostly (~95% successful). We’re both on maintenance medication for longer term issues – statins for him and reflux meds for me.
      some of this is just getting older and body breaking down… it is better than the alternative but a challenge.

    14. In a lot of LCOL areas there’s just sort of a culture of not traveling. My 40-something boss makes ~$150k and could easily afford a trip to Europe once in a while if he wanted, but he’s never left the country. Neither has his wife or anyone in their extended families. It’s just not normal here. So many people don’t even have passports. And some people genuinely don’t like to travel. I wouldn’t read too much into it or assume this has anything to do with aging. These women probably just have a different cultural background and/or different hobbies than you.

      1. Agree that there is a culture of not traveling in some parts of the US. I work with a lot of people in Southern CA who rarely travel very far away or for very long. Anecdotally, a lot of those people grew up in the area, have families that are relatively close by, and just don’t like the hassle/expense of traveling. It’s not really an income thing, either, some of these people make plenty of money but would rather go to a local-ish spa for the weekend instead of leaving the state.

    15. That all sounds like normal aging.

      I think it’s actually a good sign you see people in their 50s and close to retirement still working at your job. That means they aren’t being churned out for fresh bodies and this is a place you can have longevity.

      In certain tech companies, you just have the fresh 20 and childless 30 year olds.

      Your question about aging well is a separate thing.

    16. I’m so tired of the ageism on this site. OP, you are making generalizations and assumptions about your co-workers purely based on the fact that they are women in their 50s and 60s. This is extremely insensitive and ageist. These people are individuals. Their situations are different from yours. If you want to be healthy, focus on your own health without judging others.

  6. I have a black tie wedding coming up. I’d love a sleeveless A-line gown in something like taffeta, sort of a 60-ish vibe. Does this exist in 2025 in stores? Or do I start hunting vintage items?

      1. Sorry, that link is a very lucky size 4 only, but Kay Unger generally could be a good brand to look at.

        1. Sort of. I saw some CZ Guest and Babe Paley pictures and that sort of thing just resonates. And I love that you could wear items like the dress you posted with regular undergarments and flats. #winning

      2. Chanting to myself at my desk: It would be financially irresponsible for me to buy that dress. A 4 will probably not fit me. I already have a dress I can wear to my black tie event in March. It would be financially irresponsible–

    2. Try Rent the Runway! You can filter by styles. I think I can picture your dress, very Audrey Hepburn? I agree that Kay Unger might have some good options.

        1. Google for Sachin & Babi reviews. I have a daughter getting married and am being stalked by MOB dress ads, so theirs have figured prominently. I googled and found that their returns process is pretty reviled. Their ads are lovely, and I think some of their dresses are available at Nordstrom (or Saks, maybe?). If you can find it somewhere else, I would try there first. I was originally on here to suggest searching for MOB dresses anyway. Amsale (Nordstrom) is another brand that has some simple but lovely options. I feel like I have seen many versions of what you’re describing. Camilyn Beth also has some options that might work. They target the MOB market pretty hard, but their options do not really scream “MOB,” especially the one where you can assemble your own dress (kind of like Mr. Potato Head).

    6. Try Dillard’s, I feel like they usually have few options like this.

    7. I’m going for the same vibe for an upcoming formal event. Check out bridesmaid brands Alfred Sung and Dessy. They offer ready to ship styles and several hit that classic vintage vibe. (Check Poshmark if you’re open to saving a few dollars.)

  7. Any other feds, contractors, or people at orgs who rely on federal funding – do you have a “backup plan” for when/if you lose your job? I’m a fed at an agency that the administration hates and long thought I could go back to my old job if needed, but that’s an NGO that’s already laid people off due to uncertainty about funding… so I need a backup to the backup plan.

    I think my industry will not be viable under this administration, so I think I need to do a 180. Would love to keep doing mission based or “helping” work, I’d hate to give that up in this climate, but also I have bills to pay so can’t afford to be too picky. Would consider going back to school if needed, but that’s not my preference (I already have a Master’s, not so I’m not terribly eager for more school but I can go back if needed – but would definitely be looking at cheaper options).

    I’m single / no kids, early 30s, and plan on moving back to my parents’ house when my lease ends in July for financial reasons. I’m lucky that I have the ability to do that, but man that is so not where I want my life to be heading in my 30s.

    1. What are your target & “minimum viable” salaries?

      IMO, you have job role fit (eg. are you a lawyer or an accountant or a program manager etc) and industry fit. It is much harder to change both simultaneously. If your whole industry is really strictly tied to government funding, that means thinking about the kind of tasks you do day-to-day, and taking them to a different industry.

      1. Target is 100-120k (my current range), but I know that won’t be viable. Preferred minimum would be about 50k (but really minimum can be low – I’m soon to be rent free, and I have no debt), ideally I’ll be making 80kish so I can get an apartment.

        I used to work in state government, where I made between 65 and 75k, so I know I can definitely live on that. My old department at the state is also grant funded, so not counting on going back there (and I didn’t like it).

        As I said, industry is not viable and I’m not in a job role that translates out of government very well. I do a lot of policy analysis, planning/coordination, writing/briefing, some outreach and training. Some project/program management, but I’m not a PMP nor have I ever been in a project manager role. My degrees are both related to my field/content, not skill based (aka not a MPP or MPA).

        1. I work for a health insurance company and we have a lot of people who do similar work. Think analyzing federal regs to determine how to implement, compliance, program management. $100-120k sounds about right for our midlevel individual contributor roles.

          I’m not sure if your policy field is health but something to consider.

        2. I think you’re on the right track with thinking about project management options. Imo, some companies care about PMI certification and some really don’t – but if you want to pursue that, an online class + study books + test fee is ~$1000.

          I work at a big telecom, some of our teams with roles that sounds like it might overlap with yours are:
          – Internal training, basically the team that makes sure the techs know how to work with any new products, so there’s a lot of coordinating (getting the details from engineering, syncing different departments schedules to get the launch date) and creating the actual training
          – Marketing/customer retention: eg. the team that launches ad campaigns or special offers, etc: the actual launch has a lot of coordination with internal teams, and then there’s some analysis of the outcome
          – Site planning: anything where we’re building infrastructure has a lot of coordination/pm work, and your experience evaluating regulations & govt policies would help

          Industry experience is s plus but we definitely hire plenty of people on these teams without. Probably 65k – 80k, but we’re in a hcol-not-vhcol city, and frankly pay on the low end of other private companies, so you might be able to get closer to your target doing similar work elsewhere

          1. If you lose your job, see if your unemployment office will pay for a virtual PMP prep course and the exam fee. A friend did this!

        3. It’s not world’s most stable field right now, but higher ed admin could work, particularly government relations roles.

        4. Agree with the commenter @10:39am. I think roles where you’d be interpreting policies, regulations, rules might be good. In my industry (healthcare adjacent), there are a lot of roles with process management, process improvement, training, quality and regulatory, and the like.

          Another option is academia. Thinking of grant writing (federal/state/private), grant administration and management, communications, and working with different stakeholders in a university. I know there are also consulting firms doing this kind of work.

    2. Federal contractor here and I’m hoping to move to a state or county health department or possibly a hospital.

    3. I have one friend from work applying to teaching post-bacc certification programs and another applying for a BA to BSN program. Both are totally unrelated to what we do, but our industry is also likely ceasing to exist.

    4. You’re young. Pivot to the private sector. Take anything entry level ish and work your way up. With prior experience of any kind, you’ll do that quickly. Stop limiting your thinking to what you have a degree in or have worked in. Find what’s closest to your interests and focus there. Marketing, communications are good places to start.

      1. While this is fine advice, I do think that it’s important to remember that tens of thousands (more likely hundreds of thousands) of people will be laid off from federal or federally supported jobs and will be competing for these jobs – it won’t be as easy as just pivoting unfortunately, especially if you don’t already have relevant experience.

        1. Exactly. A good friend worked for a USAID grant-funded NGO doing grants administration. Her job is gone, and grant administration generally is going to be a hugely oversaturated market now that grants everywhere are disappearing. It’s so callous to handle it this way.

        2. Yup, I’m not in DC but I’m in a regional hub – I think there are more thank 30k federal employees in my metro area (not counting contractors or grant supported jobs). Obviously everyone won’t lose their jobs, but many will. The job market will be flooded, this isn’t a super viable approach

    5. Also this is just my personal opinion, and totally fine if you make the other decision; but for the sake of giving you another option to think about…

      I love my parents dearly, and I get along with them. I genuinely enjoy visiting them and talking to them on the phone. They are interesting, reasonable people.

      And even given that, I’m also in my early thirties, and I would not move in with them, unless as an absolute last resort. I just don’t want to, and it would just feel like such a step back/like it would be far too easy to fall into feeling 17 again. My job is also pretty iffy these days, and my emergency plan is to live with roommates and get a job at starbucks to extend my runway looking for a job. Unless you have high health care costs or some other high fixed cost, as a young single person without dependents this is still feasible in many areas (even an area that’s very unaffordable to families).

      Grad school — be really skeptical about getting another master’s. Definitely talk to other students if you do – imo, the official reported stats for mid-career masters students sometimes more often reflect the strength of the students background /before/ doing the program, rather than the strength of the program. Grad school is a huge cost in both missed working time and $ – only do it if you’re absolutely certain of the ROI

      1. I’m not thrilled with the idea of moving back home, but I think I’ll do it at least for a few months to save money. I paid for my Master’s out of pocket while working, so I don’t have as robust of savings as I’d like (about 10k in cash, 15k in non-retirement investments). I’m not opposed to roommates and Starbucks (I plan on getting a PT job as soon as I’m laid off to supplement unemployment – I know the limit on how much I can make on unemployment will be $150/wk so it will be very part time, but I can’t not work), but at this point in my life I’d have to do a random roommate (and probably a much younger one at that) – in my city everyone my age lives alone or with a partner. At that point, I’d rather live for free at my parents’ house. We get along well, my younger sister still lives at home and likes it enough to stay, it’s a 20 min train ride downtown where I live now/my friends live. The moving back home while unemployed/underemployed and single is very, very much not what I had in mind in my 30s but such is life. I’m naturally pretty conservative about money and think paying rent will just stress me out too much.

        As for another degree or certificate, it’d only be to totally pivot fields – I would not be getting one just to get one. I paid off undergrad loans really early (while living at home) and cash flowed my Master’s. If I do go back to school, I’d once again do it PT while working. It’d probably be some sort of post-bacc/job training program (like a teaching cert or BA to BSN – wouldn’t do something nebulous like an MBA). Heck, maybe even an Associate’s to be radiology tech or dental hygienist – just totally switch fields to something with decent security, with the thought that if/when my industry comes back I can transition back to it if I want, or I can keep the new career if I prefer that.

        1. Sounds like you’ve thought it through and it’s a good option (in bad circumstances outside of your control) for you!

      2. I’m a professor and I agree about grad school. I’d only do this if you want a degree to switch fields, like the post above about getting a nursing or teaching degree. Otherwise I feel like a lot of masters programs are just cash cows for the university and aren’t good investments.

        1. Yeah, I have a post in mod replying about grad school – I’d only do it for a post-bacc or job training program. I wouldn’t do it just to go back to school!

          1. while also not necessarily the most stable at the moment, consider higher ed, but like top tier institutions that likely aren’t going anywhere. think about creating a skills based resume with different versions depending on what you are applying to.

    6. Working in a defense adjacent industry, I used to say the military was my backup but h3ll no in this climate

  8. Is anyone wearing shirts like this as tunics in 2025? I feel like that went out with skinnies. We tuck shirts in now unless they are cropped, no?

    1. There is no “we” to this question. It depends on body type.

      Skinny jeans never went out. They exist as a pant option that anyone can buy at any time in regular stores and no one would look twice at someone wearing them.

      What looks good on you? Wear that. Tunics look awful on me because I have hips, so I don’t touch them.

      1. Agree. I am super short waisted with a large chest and do not tuck. It’s good to not wear a completely dated outfit, but it’s more disastrous to wear something that doesn’t work on your body because it’s in style.

      2. They did go out. That you can purchase them doesn’t make them a current look. Same with tucking or not. I’m a believer in dress to what your body type is but if OP wants to know what’s a current look, a tunic over skinny jeans is not it.

        2. Most current looks look ridiculous on people who have jobs and regular weekend activities. People should absolutely dress for their body type, not based on some “standard” that is barely applicable to what looks nice and put together.

          1. Wearing trouser or boyfriend jeans and a waist-length sweater is just as easy as skinnies and a long sweater to me…

        3. Agreed. Do I occasionally wear skinny jeans with boots during terrible weather or to run errands on laundry day? Yes. Do I believe I look fashionable or current? Definitely not.

        4. Agree with this, as someone who has resisted a lot of trends. But skinny jeans today look like a relic. Maybe no one will notice or care at Walmart, but I’d wear something different for occasions where you care how you’re perceived.

      3. I definitely notice when someone is wearing skinny jeans, sorry. They may or may not flatter and fit well, but they definitely say “I don’t care about what’s in style”. I assume the wearers know that and wouldn’t be bothered if they could read my thoughts.

        But the argument that skinnies are “in” or “coming back!” (eh, not quite yet and not the same as your old ones) sounds a little desperate.

        1. Yep! It’s okay for people to wear them. They exist in stores. It’s still dated. Which is 100% fine, but to act like they’re not dated is incorrect.

          3. 42, so maybe older in your eyes, but definitely ok wearing styles I know are consistently good for my shape and rolling my eyes at anyone who tells me something is “out of date” when I know good and well the shape has been photographed and modeled successfully for over 50 years.

          4. >Older women are more comfortable with dated styles.

            Haha I’m 60 and got rid of my skinny jeans a few years ago. Speak for yourself!

      4. OMG, nobody likes a pedant! You don’t need to police fashion comments to this degree.

      5. And some of us are tall and need to buy “tunic length” tops to not look like we’re wearing things that shrank in the wash.

    2. no one is wearing shirts as tunics in a fashionable way in 2025, I agree! (obviously, Ina Garten rock your bad self etc etc)

    3. I occasionally wear oversized sweaters/cardigans as tunics (with leggings) or oversized button up collared shirts as tunics (with leggings) (e.g., J.Crew Étienne oversized shirt). But this is a very casual weekend look.

      1. I still think it’s a cute look and gives a certain carefree, casual vibe.

        People, just because styles have shifted doesn’t mean you have to give up everything you’ve worn before!

          1. I have no dog in this fight! That’s not my personal style, but I wouldn’t think OMG DATED if I saw someone else wearing that outfit.

    4. I don’t! A got a tummy I don’t like showing and I don’t much care what “we” are doing

      1. +1000 – Fine for some, not for others. Wear your clothes how they look best on YOU. Tucking in shirts I just dont think it looks good on me, and highlights an area of my body that I don’t love.

      2. yup, I have never tucked and probably never will.
        My personal philosophy is that looking good and looking fashionable are two independent variables which sometimes align for me , but totally randomly. I aim for the first and largely ignore the other.

    5. I think this is right. The long and lean tunic doesn’t work as well over fuller pants. A tunic over skinnies doesn’t feel current to me. Also now that my eyes have adjusted to real trousers I’m questioning why I ever liked this particular silhouette on my apple shape. I think it was super easy to not show my waist and I like that my skinny legs looked skinny in slim pants. But in reality I think it just emphasized the imbalance in my proportions rather than balancing them like a sleek top and wider pants can.

        1. Haha. Exactly how I looked! I also like how less stretch and more tailored pieces let me focus on fit and materials. Skinnies and tunics were perfect for ignoring both.

    6. I would not wear this untucked for the most current look. I love blouses like this for tucking into wide-legged pants!

    7. Crying as I try to dress my pregnant body. This nipped in belly-“exposing” (not exposing skin, but not hiding my belly under a loose top) trend is the absolute worst for my apple shaped body anyway, now with a rapidly expanding middle it’s even worse than the worst! Really jealous of you ladies who could wear leggings and flowy tops and feel stylish.

      Related point: is cheugy still a thing we (millennials) are being called? Or is cheugy now old person language?

  9. I’m considering getting a suit from The Fold London but I would love to see pictures of how they look on real women. The models on their website look like hangers. Does anyone know of a blogger or influencer who does The Fold try-ons?

    1. Try searching youtube for “the fold london”. I see a couple of try on videos. I particularly like videos over a blog with just photos because you can see how the clothes move.

  10. Anyone up for some vicarious shopping? My 17-year-old has decided that she wants to buy a poufy, ballgown skirt to wear to prom this year. Any ideas where I can buy something that isn’t a fast fashion site? I’m willing to pay a bit more so she can have something that won’t completely unravel before the night is over!

      2. The Cheri Ruffled Tulle Midi Skirt is one of my favorite things in my closet. I have the black version and when I pair it with a black bodysuit it looks like a dress.

    4. I love this. I think you’d have a blast looking on the real real. Obviously it can get crazy expensive but I’m spotting really pretty stuff under 300 bucks. Bonus is that no one else will wear it.

  11. Has anybody else had problems with disappearing comments today? One of mine was deleted or not posted to the health thread, and I have no earthly idea why. It wasn’t remotely controversial.

    1. Not in the midwest but the damp always makes it feel colder… if you’re mostly going between car and building I’d go with the lighter coat, but not for extended outside time.

    2. I live in a city with a lot of 30-40 degree weather and what you posted is similar to what I wear. I am also generally happy with an unlined wool (or fake wool) winter coat with a sweater underneath.

    3. I avoid wearing my puffers if there is rain because they get soggy too easily. I would go with either a lightly insulated rain jacket or a water resistant shell with reasonable layers underneath if you are going to be out in the rain for any extended period of time.

    4. Waving from St Louis! Barn jacket would be great, it’s unlikely to rain the whole time and you definitely don’t need a big puffer. I’ve been mostly wearing a short Uniqlo puffer and gloves. And this place is not fashionable so don’t worry about that aspect. Have a fun trip!

      1. FYI – 30’s -40’s with freezing rain is really uncomfortable weather. I’d have layers if you are going with such a thin jacket. Definitely with a hood/hat and umbrella if you prefer. Good gloves and a scarf can add a lot.

  13. Something I have been thinking a lot about lately and want to get thoughts on: is there a way to increase your intelligence? Essentially, to “get smarter”? Or is there a max level of intelligence for each person and that is it? I don’t mean increasing intelligence with education (an obvious answer) but more for someone later in their career beyond schooling. I know you can learn new things therefore increasing your knowledge and intelligence on a specific topic, but I am talking about intelligence in general.

    When I work with people I consider more intelligent than me I wonder if I can become more intelligent, but I also wonder how would you even do that?

    1. I’m not understanding what you’re seeing in them that equates to “intelligent.” What qualities do they have that you would like to have more of in yourself?

    2. are you talking about the ability to comprehend? appreciate nuances? be a “quick study”?

    3. I don’t know how scientific this is, but an analogy I heard a long time ago is that intelligence is like a cup. You can do things to put more water in it, but you can’t really make the cup any bigger.

      But I don’t think what you’re reacting to is “intelligence” per se. Maybe thoughtfulness, creativity, or making connections based on background knowledge. Those are all things you can train and improve on. By being curious and consuming diverse media that exposes you to different ideas. By exploring some topics deeply and intentionally thinking through and writing down connections, and practicing articulating them. By doing creativity exercises. By practicing extemporaneous public speaking so you sound more intelligent and articulate when communicating. By thoroughly preparing for the meetings or other situations where you feel like your colleagues are presenting as more intelligent.

      1. Re: Defining Intelligence: You stated: “Maybe thoughtfulness, creativity, or making connections based on background knowledge. Those are all things you can train and improve on. By being curious and consuming diverse media that exposes you to different ideas.”

        I wholeheartedly agree with this, particularly the part about making connections based on background knowledge. Here are a couple of amusing and intriguing anecdotes:

        1. This first story primarily revolves around making connections based on background knowledge. I’m an “old” person, but I’ve always been a HUGE Beatles fan from when I was a toddler (you’ll understand why that’s relevant later).

        Anyway, in grade school (around 6th grade), I had a classmate and friend that I hung out with and walked home from school with. It’s worth noting that neither I nor my friend were particularly good students or exceptionally intelligent, for that matter. Well, one day, we had a significant social studies and history test, and I believe there were essay questions involved.

        Naturally, I didn’t study for this test and was panicking about the possibility of failing it. However, one question particularly perplexed me, and I completely blanked out on it. The question was something like: “In history, define what a revolution is or what are revolutionaries?”

        On our walk back home from school, I asked my friend how she had answered that seemingly difficult question. She said, “Oh yeah, that one was easy – I just thought of the Beatles song revolution” you say you want a revolution?, well you know, we all want to change the world!) and she wrote that ‘a revolution is when a group of people want to change the world’ or something similar (I’m sure she elaborated on that in more detail on paper). But once I heard her say that, I was so annoyed that I didn’t think of that answer myself because, well, hello?! I considered myself the biggest Beatles fan in the world, not her! At that moment, I realized that not all learning occurs solely through schooling.

        2.I enjoy watching Jeopardy and also love movies. One old movie from the 1970s that I particularly liked was “3 Days of the Condor” starring Robert Redford. For some reason, the movie stuck in my mind that the hired killer in that film was from Alsace-Lorraine. During a Jeopardy final question, I blurted out “Alsace-Lorraine!” – and it was indeed correct. However, I must admit that I only knew the answer because I had fond memories of the movie and it had come to mind from that.

        3.Another Jeopardy question posed was, “What country in Central America is the only one with an article in its name?” I exclaimed, “El Salvador!” – I have no idea how I knew that, except that I must have learned about articles in language during my school days.

        These are just a few times when a formal education didn’t give me the answers but just living my life did. Life is strange.

    4. Read and get out of your comfort zone. Try new things, even if you suck at them.
      Pursue your moments of curiosity.

    5. The people I know who are considered intelligent by others are typically people who are curious. They might not be curious about every single thing under the sun, but their minds are working to solve questions or problems in whatever their interest areas are.

      If you are looking for ways to “increase intelligence” as I understand your question, this could be a trait to look into developing.

    6. I don’t really know if this is intelligence, but there are some related skills that I think can be trained. Personally, I’m working on attention span generally. There is also curiosity to learn new things, especially for the sake of learning, while you don’t have a particular reason to apply this knowledge at the moment.
      Another related one is to develop the habit of reasoning, thinking through things, understanding why and how, questioning explanations and connections as to whether they make sense. This is as opposed to just absorbing information as it is received. This is exercising your brain as if it were a muscle. If you’re not in the habit, it’s very uncomfortable, but if you do it regularly, you get better at it.

    7. You can become more knowledgable but I think everyone has a ceiling to their intelligence. How quickly you understand new concepts, your ability to make connections between topics, how well you can extrapolate to identify consequences and gaps in logic…I believe they’re inherent abilities. Based on my friends, family, and coworkers you really can’t improve these skills as an adult.

    8. I’m not sure if it’s possible to become more intelligent as an adult. I think we tend to get less intelligent as we get older and stuck in our habits, though; learning is like a muscle, so if you stop using it then it atrophies.

      This is one place I guess my ADHD helps me. I’m always looking for a new project, which will become my purpose in life until I get bored and drop it. Last one was glass blowing. Very very cool. Also hard to carve out time for, it’s far away, tough hours, and so on. I think woodworking is going to be next up because I have some house projects that require it. It’s a good habit to challenge yourself to learn new things outside your comfort zone. For me, that’s something hands on and not in a book/online.

    9. I’ve observed that there are things I can do that feel like good “work outs” for my brain that make me feel sharper in general. Obviously that’s subjective and I can’t prove it’s really doing anything, but if I want that feeling, I can e.g. play a difficult KenKen game each day until I get better at it, or learn Chinese characters so I can read the Chinese menu. I’ve also noticed that if I read writers who use expansive vocabulary very precisely, words come to mind a little more easily to me too, whereas I can fall into sloppiness and fudging what I mean if that’s the kind of reading I’ve been doing.

    10. I think we have the capacity to tap into our max intelligence (which might be capped, I don’t know.) So plenty of sleep, exercise, fresh air, coffee for me, and something different to occupy my brain–reading, duolingo, drawing, whatever sparks creativity.

      1. All of this, plus not getting stuck in patterns of thinking. Always be asking yourself “why?” and “how does this connect?” and “how could I do this better?”

    11. I don’t think having a lot of knowledge is at all the same as intelligence.

      Curiosity, willingness to learn, capacity to change conceptions based on exposure to new knowledge, ability to evaluate sources, being able to apply knowledge about one area to a completely different realm, all of those indicate intelligence to me.

    12. Hang out and have conversations with really, really smart people. You can learn to piggyback on their thinking.

    13. This gets into one of my pet interests, the cultural conceptions of intelligence!

      So, what do you mean when you say intelligence? Westernized society tends to think of it as “IQ and reading recall” but that’s certainly not the only way to measure intelligence. There’s been some push back towards that narrow definition, most popularly things like “EQ”, but even then that’s a very narrow definition. Historically, having a good sense of direction was seen as an important piece of intelligence. Being able to draw well and accurately has also got plenty of historical precedent for being considered part of intelligence. These skills are currently less useful in the age of smartphones so they’ve gone out of style.

      Anyway, thanks for reading my little lecture, as summary is that some aspects of intelligence likely are fixed, but intelligence is mostly just aptitude at skills that are particularly useful/revered in the society in which you live, and you can always practice those skills and get better at them.

      1. Knowing where you are in space and being able to navigate through spaces from memory is still important for memory and is one of the only forms of “intelligence” with connections to lower dementia risk, so I feel it shouldn’t be just out of vogue.

        Sign language I think is another one that nearly anyone could benefit from learning.

    1. A while back the blog Pinch of Yum did a series of freezer meals.

      Also, you can easily freeze chili and soup.

    2. I am a big proponent of “cook once, eat twice,” so whenever I make something like enchiladas or lasagna, I divide it into two half-size casserole dishes and stash one in the freezer. And yes, chili FTW. I made the NY Times White Chicken Chili the other night and it was a big hit.

      1. soup, mac and cheese, any kins of casserole… really anything wet freezes well….

    3. It’s kind of labor intensive at the outset, but I love having dumplings and empanadas in the freezer.

      1. Similarly, I have some good freezer taquito recipes that are cheaper and tastier than what you could buy in the freezer aisle, but you do have to take the time to prep them. Google chicken and pepper jack taquitos, it’s a recipe with cream cheese.

      2. Ooh yes – before my son was born my husband and I made a ton of dumplings and pierogis (plus soup stock) for the freezer

  15. popping in to say hormones are wild. Early 30s, so I dont know why Im surprised every month.

    2 days before my period starts Im a bottomless pit for food. As soon as cramping starts I get what I’ve started calling a “dump” – exhausted and sleepy, lethargic, mood shifts to being blue. I’ll be feeling pretty fine up until the cramps and then wham, everything tanks within a couple hours.

    Today is all about getting through without biting someones face off.

    I’ve had slightly low iron levels since I was a teen, and have taken supplements on and off but struggle with stomach discomfort when on.

    1. Can you ask your doctor about heme iron supplements? They’re the only ones I can stomach.

      I found Lara Briden’s Period Repair Manual helpful enough that I’ve recommended it a few times before here. I didn’t read the whole thing but read parts and took some questions to my doctor, who was able to take it from there and order some labs for me. I know she’s a ND, but academic medicine has shown such a profound disinterest in researching these experiences and supporting women with it, that I guess that’s how I ended up turning elsewhere for some ideas.

    2. I recently had my IUD removed and after 10 years of no periods, wow it’s awful. Who knew period poops were so bad? Every month my body goes on a rollercoaster and it’s awful.

    3. I will preface this by saying I was severely anemic – but when I couldn’t tolerate the iron supplements I advocated for myself with my doctor to prescribe iron infusions. They’re expensive but they don’t have any side effects and last a long time.

      1. If the heme iron hadn’t worked, iron infusions were on the table. I’m sure this is an ultra-rare thing, but a friend of mine got skin staining from an iron infusion, so I was a little reluctant (I know it’s not totally rational though).

  16. I am an income partner in a firm that considers itself big law but without the pay to match. My comp was insulting this year to the extent I feel like the firm is pushing me out. I have not looked for a job in forever and do not even know where to start. Do I look for a recruiter? I obviously can talk to friends at other firms. I have a couple of portable clients but nothing major. I’m just reeling and don’t know where to start.

    1. What was your comp? I dont know that much about how this works at other firms, but income partners still collect a salary, right? So, your comp is not going to be as big as an equity partner and still somewhat depends on how many hours you billed and and new clients you’re bringing in. Hard to give a temperature check without knowing what your salary + comp is relative to other income and equity partners. It might be the model you don’t like.

    2. Talk to a recruiter. See what is out there. There are probably models that work better for you and platforms that will better serve you for building a bigger book.

  17. Advice on where to get a quality necklace chain?

    I have a tiny little watermelon tourmaline pendant that is so small and dainty it’s almost certainly not worth much, but it was a gift to me from my aunt and has a lot of sentimental value. She gave it to me when I was 12, so I just put it on a chain from a necklace from Claire’s or something that I already had. I don’t wear it much, so it’s survived this long, but the chain broke this week. The pendant is found and unharmed, but now I need a chain for it and I don’t know how to find a good one. My experience with jewelry comes from rock and gem shows, Claire’s (the earrings are cute, whimsical, and cheap, don’t judge me), and buying a wedding ring off Etsy. Help?

      1. Bring the pendant because the gold and silvers and metals are different colors and qualities and you might want it to match

      2. I would do this, too. It’s going to be more expensive than you think, but a safer option than trying to judge something vintage from Etsy.

        Plus you can try different lengths, gold shades (sometimes the shades are different for vintage charms) and you only have to buy it once and forget about it.

    2. I buy mine at Costco. Your local jeweler would work, but I find their markup to be fairly high for a piece that is off the shelf.

Comments are closed.