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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 134 Comments · by

Tuesday’s TPS Report: Wool Cap Sleeve Dress

The Personal Shopper (TPS)

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Brooks Brothers Wool Cap Sleeve DressHappy Tuesday! I'm liking this light gray wool dress from Brooks Brothers — love the sleeves, the lining, the darts, and the cool pockets. I'd probably wear it with a brightly colored long necklace (I have a neon pink Kate Spade necklace that would look lovely with this), but that's just me — I think a silvery gray-on-gray look would also be sophisticated and chic. The dress is $398 (limited sizes only, alas). Brooks Brothers Wool Cap Sleeve Dress Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-2)  

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Comments

  1. Cb

    I love this dress so much, I’d have to stop myself from wearing it everyday.

    • Pear

      I have a feeling that even with the concerned-it-might-be-too-short skirt, it would be a case of Prison Matron on me.

      The skirt also seems to be wide on the model, so with a dark jacket over it (thanks, Canadian air mass!), I could go from skinny Pear to OMG Pear quite easily.

      Bleh.

      • TBK

        Yes. Every time I put on a gray dress, I think it’s going to be classic and lovely, and instead it’s Prison Matron. Camel or khaki colored dresses are just as bad.

        • EB

          I’m in the same boat. If cannot pull off camel or khaki on top. However, I have a complex that tan/brown/camel/chocolate/etc colors together make me look like I work for UPS. I’ve seen others pull it off and look great, but for some reason, I don’t think it works on me.

          • Ashley

            UPS! I have a similar problem with pants outfits in these colors. I call it ‘forest ranger’.

    • Baconpancakes

      Ag moderation.

      It reminds me of the Capitol Hill Style Zara dress featured about a month ago, that I hesitated buying and regr3tt3d the minute it sold out. Of course, that dress was $70, not $400, so I could’ve actually afforded it. sadpanda

    • Ellen

      Cat, I agree this is a VERY pretty dress! Great Selection!!!! I would rather have it short on the bottom, and risk men lookeing at my LEGS, then having it low cut and haveing men stareing at my boobie’s. This one I will get b/c I can see it at BROOK’S BROTHER’s near Grand Central, where I was goeing to walk today to get lunch. I told the manageing partner about the Shake Shack and he is goieng to try it out with me for lunch, but that now mean’s that he is goeing to HAVE to go with me to Brook’s Brother’s. He is weareing a schleppy suit today, so I will call Margie and have her call the manageing partner and tell him to shop for a nice one while we are there. That way, we can spend MORE time (and money) there together, and I can get him to approve the dress on the SPOT! YAY!!!!

    • January

      @Cb – but if you wore it every day, then you could justify the price tag!

        • TCFKAG

          I saw that and almost recommended it but doesn’t it seem just a bit too long? On stumpy little me I think it would make me look like a dwarf! But if you happen to be 5″ 8′ or above – go forth and be tall and glorious looking!!

        • Anon

          I saw this in the store and it is lovely– but even longer than it looks on that model. I am 5’5″ and it would have come almost to my ankles.

          • Lizzy M

            Really? I’m 5″5 and I bought it. It was about mid calf which is fine for winter. I wonder if it was a difference in shoe height? Or a quality control issue?

    • TO Lawyer

      I love this too. I’ve put myself on a shopping ban until the end of the year though but man this dress is so pretty. I feel like it’s the kind of dress which could act like a blank canvas so you actually could wear it every day but just style it differently

      • zora

        me too! Gah! except it does not fit my lifestyle at all, but I want it so hard.

  2. Famouscait

    Hi ladies. Some of you kindly responded to my post last Friday about how to offer support to my best friends who’s husband is in custody for sickening sex crimes against children. I’m back to ask for a bit more insight from any of you lawyers who might be able to help me understand what happens next. I realize everyone is “innocent until proven guilty” but as a working hypothesis, it’s reasonable to assume this man will be in prison for the rest of his life.

    What exactly is an arraignment?
    He’s facing a criminal charge (State vs. him) but I assume a civil suit from the family of the abused child(ren) could come next. What happens to their assets in the interim? Would some sort of division of assets have to wait until after a civil suit were completed?
    They have a pre-nup in place (he is from a mega-wealthy family) but if she divorces him over this, would that still be in effect, given the circumstances?
    If his personal assets are extinguished over the course of a trial, etc. could a judge order alimony or child support be paid from his family’s bottomless pot of gold?
    Does she have any responsibility towards businesses or assets of his that she’s not named on? For example, if the house is in his name only, can she just walk away, or does she have to find a way to pay the mortgage, etc.?

    Basically I’m trying to understand what my BF’s life is going to be like while this is happening, and what it may look like after it’s over. Thanks to anyone who’s willing to help shed some light on this for me. And apologies for bringing up such a quease-inducing topic.

    • mascot

      If she hasn’t lawyered up yet, she needs to. A good family law attorney can interpret the pre-nuptial agreement, define the marital assets and help with protecting the assets. His criminal defense is likely going to be quite expensive, so that is a much more pressing concern than any civil suits that may or may not be filed down the road. I believe that child support obligations (and possibly alimony) have priority status over other types of debt/judgment and I don’t believe they can be discharged in bankruptcy.
      Another issue that may come up is whether the children’s paternal grandparents have visitation rights with the children. Even though the husband may have done horrible things, his parents may still want to have a role in the lives of the grandchildren (and perhaps informally provide monetary support).

      • mascot

        Also, in my state at least, parties to a pre-nup cannot contract away child support obligations. Whether the agreement is somehow rendered invalid in the case of a criminal conviction, adultery, or other bad conduct, is probably defined in the agreement itself.

      • Famouscait

        So assuming she gets full custody of the kids, she could still be obligated to make them available to spend time with their paternal grandparents? Do they have to make some sort of claim during the custody decision in order for this to happen?

        • mascot

          Again, it will be state law specific, but I imagine that the grandparents will have to petition the court for visitation rights.

        • Confused

          Would that be such a bad thing though? Those grandparents are the children’s family. Even if their father turned out to be an awful and disgusting human being (as it appears he is), that doesn’t mean they are awful people. And probably the more stability they have in their life, the better (not knowing any other details). I’ve seen many families where the parents and siblings are lovely but there is one bad sheep. I don’t see why the grandparents should have to be punished outright unless they were parties that knowingly condoned any of his actions. Especially with a crime of this nature, it seems like some folks are just born evil (why rehabilitation goes so poorly). Heck, his own wife had no idea.

        • IMMJ

          Your question is framed in such a way that you make it sound like a bad thing. Having their paternal grandparents involved in their lives could be a positive experience for the children, no matter what their father did.

        • Anon

          At least in my state, the grandparents would have to petition the court for visitation rights and my state is fairly reluctant to give them unless the grandparents have already played a major role in the child’s life and the custodial parent is completely unwilling to let the children see them.

          • ezt

            That’s basically the case in NY as well. Grandparent visitation is not presumed to be in a child’s best interests in the same way visitation with a non-custodial parent is (the latter is a rebuttable presumption of course).

    • Anon

      Your friend needs a lawyer — I can give you some basics below but in regard to her prenup, her responsibilities for joint property (like the house) etc., that’s all state by state and no one here can advise her — if she can’t afford a lawyer, doesn’t want to ask her husband for money for a lawyer, she should call a women’s/family’s non proift legal organization — many women’s shelters and family oriented charities offer legal services gratis to compelling cases, which I think this is.

      An arraignment is a defendant’s initial appearance. They’ll read the charging instrument and he’ll enter a plea.

      Nothing will happen to their assets if he is sued until it’s resolved — though if he tries to hide the assets or spend them or use them in some way to protect them, he can potentially get into bigger trouble. That said, if the civil plaintiffs are smart they will likely wait until his criminal case is resolved to sue – if he pleads or is otherwise found guilty, that’s extremely valueable to them in their case (obviously).

      I don’t know the answer to hte question on the prenup or whether the judge could order alimony or child support be paid by his family – I doubt it though – I think the obligation runs only to hte husband/father, not his relatives.

      I see no reason why she can’t file for divorce (I assume that’s what you mean by division of assets) while this is all pending.

    • TBK

      I can’t answer all of your questions, but arraignment is pretty brief. The defendant shows up in court, the charges are read, and the defendant enters a plea — typically guilty or not guilty. That’s it. It’s sort of an administrative thing. The defendant has a right to hear, in open court, the official charges against him or her, and the court needs the defendant to say, in open court, whether s/he will plead guilty or not guilty.

      As for your other questions, people with experience in family law may have more insight, but a lot of it will depend on the state law, since states have jurisdiction over family law issues. It also depends on the language of the pre-nup, and whether that agreement is governed by the law of the state they live in, or whether it has a choice of law provision (a contract can say that it will be governed by the law of another state or, in some cases, even the law of another country, if the parties wanted it to be).

      I assume, though, that your friend has a lawyer, right? Because people here can give some info, but there will be so many fact-specific questions that no one will be able to, nor should they, give full answers. And she really will need a lawyer’s protection.

    • Diana Barry

      It really depends on what state she is in, what the prenup says, and what the state’s alimony laws are, etc. She should get a good divorce attorney and that person will be able to tell her the answers to all of these questions. For example, the prenup may have a carve-out saying that it is null and void if any party is convicted of a felony or something like that. Likewise, for the alimony/child support question, it is often not addressed in the prenup because the state laws will trump whatever the prenup says. I think our state has a reasonable access/control type of standard for the family’s assets, e.g. if there is a trust solely for the husband’s benefit, and he can direct to whom the trust share is to be distributed on his death, that would be considered part of the marital estate.

      Bottom line, she should get a good divorce lawyer who is experienced in complex cases and can help sort through all of these questions.

      • Famouscait

        Thanks to all who have posted. I didn’t mean to imply that I was asking on behalf of my BF or that she doesn’t have a lawyer. She certainly does. But I’m trying to get myself up to speed and don’t want to have to ask her about any of this. I’d like to get a grip on things so if she comes to me at any point and says “I’m concerned about being broke/losing my kids/etc” I have some knowledge of what’s realistic and what’s not.

        I thought the state issue might complicate things, but I don’t want to reveal what state she’s in as the case is already in the news and I don’t want to compromise her privacy in any way (the media is already doing enough of that).

        • Anon

          You might actually be doing more harm than good by asking fact specific questions here. Most posters are friendly, but a reader w another interest might find this and learn things that could hurt your friend (eg her H comes from a lot of money) or worse, you blow attorney client privilege by posting facts here. My advice would be to just listen to her, be there for her, and help her stay with a good lawyer. I’m not saying this to snark, just a caution to be careful in discussing legal problems in public, which this is.

          • cbackson

            Just to be clear, the OP can’t violate attorney-client privilege, because she’s neither her friend’s attorney nor a party. Anything her friend has told her wouldn’t be protected by privilege.

          • Anon

            True, but the BF may be thinking she’s confiding something protected and that it was just between them and no one would know, but now it’s public.

          • Famouscait

            Thanks Anon, for your concern. Maintaining her privacy is high priority for me, so I appreciate your comment.

            Thanks to all who have posted with answers. I feel a bit less lost now and more aware of what to expect in the near future, legally speaking.

  3. Miz Swizz

    Does anyone have a humidifier in their office? My office is rather small and the rapid change in weather has my sinuses going nuts so I’d like to get one if a practical one exists but I don’t want one of the giant ones like I have at home.

  4. TCFKAG

    If you like this dress but perhaps can’t swing the price, you could check out Boden – they have some wool suiting dresses in a dark gray (not the light gray which I do like) that come in a similar cut – and some others including a nice A-line for those into that sort of thing.)

  5. Olivia Pope

    I love this dress! I’m going to have an Etsy dress maker create a dress similar to this one.

      • Anon

        As a general question to those who use Etsy dressmakers – how is the sizing? I know a few people have recommended Heartmycloset on Etsy, and I like a lot of the designs, but I would not be personally comfortable wearing my dresses as form-fitting as she shows on her site. Is there a way to communicate that to the dressmaker when you submit your measurements?

  6. Anon

    Hi all,

    Does anyone have any genius creative date nights that are infant friendly? Or date days? My baby is 7 weeks old and I’d really like to do more fun stuff with my husband on the weekends but I’m suffering from a lack of imagination. Our old favorites– comedy clubs, movies and long hikes are out for now. What else do people do for fun??? We’ve gone on walks, visited parks, and had several picnics. We go out for coffee or ice cream and twice we’ve taken her to an actual restaurant. We’ve also done the wine/cheese/Netflix date at home more times than I can count. Those are all great but I’d love a new idea for some fun way to spend a Saturday afternoon that doesn’t involve my couch.

    Thanks in advance!!

    • tesyaa

      If you like hiking you can certainly take a long hike with the baby in a carrier (and when the baby gets a little older, in a baby backpack). Restaurants are good to do now because in a few months that’ll be more of a challenge. Does your area have any good bookstores or other retail/browsing possibilities?

      • Diana Barry

        +1. We had a Bjorn, a Moby wrap, and a sling, and walked or hiked with our baby almost every day when I was on maternity leave. It was GREAT. I found it better when my husband carried the baby until about 4 months old (otherwise my b**bs would be squished). The other parent should carry a small backpack with extra outfits, diapers, wipes, and plastic bags for the dirty stuff, but I found hikes to be really fun and soothing to the baby to boot!

      • Lady Harriet

        +1 There are pictures of my family hiking when I was 3 and my brother was a baby, with my dad carrying him in a baby backpack.

      • Fiona

        +1 more. We take our baby everywhere in a Beco — hikes, walks, art openings, shopping, beer tastings. He loves it. He usually looks around for a while and then conks out for a good long nap.

    • preg anon

      Great question. I’ll be watching for the answers. But I will echo that you should go to restaurants now. My wee one is only three months and already harder to take to restaurants.

    • mascot

      I agree that restaurants can be great for little babies, mine usually slept pretty well with the noise. We also had a lot of luck going to other people’s houses for dinner or having people over. We would just set up the pack n play in a spare room, bring pajamas and put the baby to sleep there. That way we could linger over a visit and it was easy if baby needed to eat, be changed, started to squall, etc.

    • Fiona

      We’ve started going to our favorite restaurants really early (like 5:30) with our baby, and it works out well. The restaurant is usually much less crowded so we can get into places that we like without feeling awkward about bringing a baby, there are often other families there, and you might be able to take advantage of a happy hour. It helps us feel a lot more normal to be able to go to the places we liked to go before, just at a slightly different hour.

      We also go for walks into other neighborhoods (with our guy in a carrier) and go shopping or grab a drink/coffee/ice cream.

    • Anon

      I agree with the prior posters about hiking. Don’t stop! You could try bowling – it’s too loud in a bowling alley for anyone to be disturbed by a fussy baby and you can pass off the baby between turns if she won’t hang out in her car seat.

      I know it’s kind of annoying to hear from parents of older kids, but the baby is totally portable at this age (and letting her fall asleep in her car seat is not going to doom her to a lifetime of poor sleep). Go to friends’ houses and stick her in another room at bedtime.

    • Anon

      Back when our first child was a newborn, we went to places that we could walk around lots with the baby–museums, aquarium, botanical gardens, outdoor malls. We also went to the movies and to live music shows (not really “concerts” in the way I usually think of them, but more like small bands playing an outdoor venue.) We would just time it so that baby would take a nice long nap during that time. it never happened, but had he woken up and made any sort of noise we would have left immediatly and we always picked seats near the back on the end so we could have left without disrupting anyone.

    • Seattleite

      Several theaters in my area offer soundproofed baby rooms. A couple of seats, room for a baby carrier or blanket on the floor, and your own volume control. My daughter “saw” her first movie at 14 days old.

      We also did lots of game nights with friends, tucking kidlets into hosts’ beds at bedtime. AND we each got one weekend day to ourselves a month. AND we found a sitter we trusted, because sooner or later you will want to screech out of the driveway and high five each other, while praying to the deity of your choice that kid and sitter both hold out till midnight.

    • ExcelNinja

      I just did the 4 mile hike in Yosemite (PSA: actually 5 miles!) and there were a ton of parents carrying babies on their backs & chests totally out-doing me on the trail :)

      Friends of ours take their babies to pubs for live (usually Irish) music. The little ones sleep right through the music and the parents can still hang with friends for a while in a normal setting and have a drink or two.

    • Anon

      Thanks all ! These are good ideas. Re hiking– I should have clarified– we have done short hike/ walks of a hour or so while she’s in the ergo and she sleeps the whole way. I’m reluctant to do really long, all day hikes just now bc she doesn’t love the carseat, so id like to avoid drives of over an hour, plus more than an hour in the ergo and she gets very overheated/ sweaty (still hot here). But yes, short hikes are awesome. Museums, aquariums and outdoor concerts all sound great too. Sadly there is no mommy/ baby movie night within two hour drive of us, bc that sounds super fun. I like the idea of switching up our daily walks by driving to another neighborhood, too.

      Thanks!!

  7. Emmabean

    Good morning, ladies!

    I am curious – what benefits are open for negotiation when you’re working out the details of a new job offer. Specifically, I am a third-year attorney and I anticipate receiving an offer from a small firm in my city. r3ttes who have been in a similar situation – what kinds of things can you negotiate besides your pay? Maternity leave, vacation time, health insurance?

    Similarly – I have some concerns that this new firm may make me an offer that is significantly lower than what I make now. I’d still be interested but it would be a difficult decision.

    How much salary would you forgo to cut your commute from an hour and a half to ten minutes, and to switch from an area of law you don’t see a career in to one you’re very sure would be a good path for you (both litigation, just different areas). Other considerations – I don’t mind my job now and am only leaving because it feels like it’s time to take the next step – more interesting work etc. Also, I’m in a low cost of living area, and I wouldn’t be hurting for cash, but I think it’d a bit of a blow to my ego (and my closet) to take a pay cut.

    • preg anon

      I would give up as much as possible to shorten my commute by that much. Seriously. I think I would take a pay cut of 50% if I could swing it. I have commuted an hour each way, and it is a life s*ck.

      • Frugal doc...

        I agree that I would take a drastic pay cut for a job with that improved commute and my preferred field. I think my income is probably lower then yours, but if I lived in in a low cost of living area (I don’t) I would drop at least 30% or so. A 1.5 hr commute each way is brutal and will limit your life/relationships/family long term.

        But yes, I would try to negotiate other benefits. Then again, I have no idea how to negotiate and would probably be terrible at it….. In my area (academic medicine), I have always accepted jobs as if I am the grateful one … thank you for hiring me…. and how dare I ask for more. I have a sneaking suspicion that others are paid more then me because I am so weak in this arena.

        On that note, I would also strongly recommend simplifying your lifestyle. Start reading Mr. Money Mustache, and think about what’s really important to you. You’re doing a great job so far by considering this new job!

        Although I love reading this blog and the idea of owning beautiful clothes, clothes are just not that important. And by now you should know the tricks of sales, internet purchases and stocking up on timeless staples.

    • Walnut

      Definitely negotiate for extra vacation. Perhaps you can also ask for telecommute time, different start/end time for in office days, the firm to pay for your attendance at a favorite conference/professional development, firm to pay for CPE, etc.

      The short commute sounds work a trim to the shopping budget. Just think of your transit savings.

    • Senior Attorney

      I live within walking distance of my workplace, after commuting up to an hour each way for 20 years, and it has been life-changing. Not only the time saved every morning and evening, but the freedom to go home for lunch, or run out for a quick errand during the workday.

      Life.

      Changing.

      I agree with Frugal Doc that a 30% pay cut would be reasonable in the situation you’ve described. And yes, negotiate for extra vacation, CLE, guaranteed bonus, maybe travel to CLE someplace fun once a year, retirement matching funds, anything you can think of.

      • Anon for this

        +1 Switched jobs last year and now I have a walking commute–totally life-changing!

        • Two Cents

          This is exactly why when people ask me when we are moving to the burbs now that we have our kid, I say that I can’t do it. 15 minute walk to work = amazing.

      • anne-on

        I work from home and seriously, my life would not work otherwise. Being able to let in repair people/run laundry/prep lunches dinners/take a sick child to a doctor/etc. has been amazing.

    • Kathryn

      Think about all of the money you would save on gas if your commute was over 2 HOURS less each day. It might even work out to be worth the paycut, especially if you could bike to work. This website is pretty extreme, but check our Mr. Money Mustache… he does a post on money saved by not commuting, and it’s pretty eye-opening.

      • Also in Academia

        The current federal mileage reimbursement rate is about 55 cents a mile, so you could use that to measure the cost of your current commute — it covers things like gasoline and depreciation and maintenance, I believe, so it could give you an idea pretty quickly. I commute 45 minutes each way and I can tell it has a big effect on my life, and I’d definitely factor that into a decision about taking a new job closer to home. Now if I can just get someone to offer me one!

  8. sleeves?

    Hive wisdom needed: I’m looking to get a dress made and trying to decide whether to have it made with sleeves or not. It’s a dark green sheath peplum dress, high neck, knee length, that I’m looking to wear to a black tie optional event (with awesome jewelery). Do you think elbow-length sleeves or sleeveless is more formal?

    • Anne Shirley

      With sleeves sounds like work dress. Actually, the whole thing sounds like a work dress for me, and I tend to think if you can wear it to work it’s not dressy enough for a formal evening event. What fabric are you using?

      • sleeves?

        I was worried about this as well but I saw several women at the event last year in similar dresses – it is a firm event so I’d like to err on the side of “too work.” The dress will have silk accents which I think would dress it up, plus I have some awesome shoes to wear with it. I’m quite young-looking and really struggle with finding formal dresses with high necklines that don’t make me look like I’m either going to prom or like I’m dressing up in my mom’s clothes.

        • Blonde Lawyer

          In your situation, I have had good luck at Dress Barn. I bought one dress there for a firm christmas party and another for a conservative wedding. They had lots of high neck line, formal material, sleeveless dresses, with wide enough straps for a normal bra. They were also somewhat form fitting (like a sheath) so they looked formal while still being conservative appropriate.

    • Ashley

      If you have great arms, sleeveless. Otherwise, elbow to 7/8 length — wherever the most flattering point is for your figure.

  9. mer

    In need of some advice. I have been working at my first firm out of law school for a couple of years. I made the mistake of not keeping in touch with an attorney I worked with at an internship and now I’d like to reconnect. I’m not currently looking for a job, but I’d like to discuss career advice and may want a job with this atty’s org down the road. Any advice on how to reconnect? Especially how to phrase what will be a somewhat awkward email? Many thanks in advance!!!

    • TCFKAG

      Subject: Getting back in touch or some such. Put basically what you said in this (though perhaps with more detail) in the body of the email. And boom. Seriously – I have done this a bunch of times and have had positive responses every time – even when I was concerned the person wouldn’t remember me. Even a couple times when the only way I knew the person was that they had interviewed me for a position (that was generally after less time.) So just send the email and don’t put TOO much thought into it so it doesn’t sound stilted.

      Also put yourself into context “This is so and so and I worked for you blankity blank…” so if they don’t remember you clearly it will jog their memory.

    • roses

      I’d phrase it as an “update” email – tell the atty what you’ve been up to, and maybe emphasize how your experience interning with him has helped you. Then say you are interested in X going forward, and depending on your relationship/the distance between you, either 1) propose to meet for coffee or lunch to discuss, or 2) ask outright for advice but say you would be happy to chat via phone too (since preferences vary re: talking on the phone or typing long emails).

  10. Frugal doc...

    Forgive me if this was discussed already, but I am a regular iGoogle homepage user (on my computer/laptop) and now that it is shutting down… I was wondering what you guys recommend instead?

  11. meh

    Feeling grumpy. My partner was inexplicably grumpy and rude last night, so after telling him that I didn’t think he should speak to me in that way, I have pretty much been trying to ignore him. I realize that this is silly: by shutting him out I want him to realize how much he hurts me when he shuts me out, and I suspect that I am just making things worse.

    Any tips? Or commiseration? Or cat pictures?

    • Anonymous

      I posted below before seeing your post (Anonymous 11:48am). So, commiseration. These things aren’t fun.

    • Senior Attorney

      I know it feels awful, but you are absolutely making things worse. My theory on this kind of thing is to make it easy for the badly-behaved person to resume good behavior. So I do my best to behave normally when the other person is being grumpy. My personal philosophy about the Silent Treatment is that it is utterly unacceptable in any circumstance, so I wouldn’t do it myself no matter how badly I was provoked. I’d act as normal as possible, or remove myself from the situation physically.

      And also? https://www.facebook.com/TheOfficialGrumpyCat

      • meh

        Thank you, Senior Attorney. I know I am making it worse! I guess I’m not really ignoring him, but I’m not paying as much attention to him as I usually do. And I did not wake him up this morning for a goodbye kiss, which is maybe the third time in our relationship that we’ve ever parted in the morning without exchanging “I love you”s and “Have a good day”s. Rahhh.

        I did just send him a text to check in. We’ll see if he responds. Unfortunately, he’s working til about 2 AM tonight (really), so we won’t see each other until tomorrow evening.

        • Brahbrah

          OMG, I thought you were talking about a law firm partner and I was desperately confused by this whole thread. Whew.

        • Senior Attorney

          When your partner is giving you the cold shoulder, it’s hard to walk that fine line between Engaging In Bad Behavior Oneself and Being All Pitiful And Begging For Attention. (Ask me how I know… ugh!) Be kind to yourself today!

          I hope things thaw out soon!

    • NbyNW

      I’m sleepy still – I thought you were doing the silent treatment to a law firm partner (read: Boss) and thought that was silly. Your actions make more sense now.

  12. Anonymous

    My husband and I are fighting. It started last night, he slept on the couch (his choice) and left for the office at 6:00am (about 3 hrs earlier than normal). But we just exchanged “I love you” emails. We still haven’t resolved the main issues, but, sigh, I feel like the world is okay again.

    • meh

      Oh, thank you, Anonymous! I know that feeling. Just waiting for it to kick in . . .

  13. Senior Attorney

    Some good news for a change TJ: I had my engagement ring made into a pendant and I picked it up yesterday and am wearing it today for the first time. It turned out great and I am thrilled! Kind of like this but yellow gold with white gold around the top rim: http://www.jewelrycentral.com/img/productImages/4125.jpg

    And the best part? I traded in my wedding ring and some gold earrings and ended up with the pendant plus $20 cash in my pocket! Score!!

  14. salt

    I’m trying to buy a surprise for a 14 year-old who need a pick-me-up. She loves H.o.llister. I hate Hollister and do not “get” the aesthetic, so whatever I pick will likely be all wrong. Because of where she lives, she probably wouldn’t be able to use a gift card or order online (rural area, limited connectivity), so it has to arrive at her house.

    Can you help me pick something cool from this blasted Hollister? $75 limit, please!

    • Anon in NYC

      Does she like graphic t-shirts? Some of them are cute, depending on her general style. I also think the plaid button downs and some of the sweatshirts are cute too.

    • Anon

      My daughter is about the same age and also loves Hollister (why!!) anyway, she would like (I am going to put the names rather than links to avoid moderation)–the Shell beach Hoodie, Imperial Beach Hoodie, Ponto Beach Hoodie, El Porto Beach Snorkel Hoodie. She also likes the Lounge pants and she loves their skinny jeans if you know what size to get. She also likes the regular logo t-shirts.

    • Wildkitten

      Lounge pants sound awesome if she needs a self-care pick me up. Perfume might also be a good one at that age/store.

    • Lady Harriet

      No advice, but I sympathize with your feelings on Hollister! When I was 12 my mom’s best friend gave me a gift card there because she thought the store looked cool. I went with my mom one time because I needed new shorts for the summer and left in tears because everything was so small. I finally went back a year or two later when the gift card was about to expire. None of the women’s clothing fit me, so I bought almost the only thing I could get into, a size large men’s sweater, and a scarf. I’m so glad I’m not a teenager any more!

      • ExcelNinja

        ugh, I remember this. I used to wear men’s (“guy’s”) sizes as a teenager because my figure was NOT compatible with the extreme low-waisted, tiny-thighed, bell-bottomed jeans that were popular at the time!!

    • SA

      I have a daughter that age. Not that the “style” is any better, but according to DD, Lululemon is more “in” than Hollister. Could you surprise her with your coolness? Just a thought…

  15. Alice

    Help!

    How to refer to opponent counsel’s brief in an administrative case–when you suspect the title is gramatically incorrect? Think “petition of relief” instead of “petition for relief”?

    I mean, if I change it, it’s like I’m correcting him. If I don’t, I have to write “petition of relief.” What do I do?

    • mascot

      I would probably use [sic] the first time I referred to it. Thereafter, just use Petition or Petitioner’s Brief.

    • anon

      I wouldn’t use sic, but I would put the title in quotation marks as a subtler way of getting at the same thing. Then, as mascot suggests, I’d refer to it as Petition or Petitioner’s Brief.

  16. Romey

    Threadjack!

    Ladies, I know there have been past polls and articles on this but couldn’t find anything in the last year. Do you wear your collar in or out if you’re wearing a collared shirt with a suit?

    Thanks!

    • Seattle Freeze

      In. Unless you’re at a disco, or are wearing your shirt open down to THERE.

      • Ashley

        Firmly trained to wear it in, but I am trying to rebel. Especially since black make me look very ill and wearing my collar out puts a far more flattering color near my face.

  17. Anon so I can post

    Every time I read “I’m liking” I cringe. How did you get your MBA with such poor grammar skills?

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