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Updated: Nov 1, 2018 231 Comments · by

Tuesday’s TPS Report: Wool Herringbone A-Line Skirt

The Personal Shopper (TPS)

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Our daily TPS reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. Wool Herringbone A-Line SkirtIt's rare for me to get excited about skirts on the Internet, but I am loving this blue herringbone A-line skirt from Brooks Brothers. It strikes me as the perfect skirt for fall and spring: wear it now with navy and jewel tones, and in the spring wear it with whites, creams, maybe even pastels. Lovely. It's $198 at Brooks Brothers. Wool Herringbone A-Line Skirt Seen a great piece you'd like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com. (L-2)

Sales of note for 9.10.24

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Comments

  1. BK

    Quick TJ:

    Ladies, what do you wear to spice up an otherwise boring outfit? I am a lawyer in a conservative firm, so I wear dark suits almost every day. Do you pick a specific pop of color to use as an accent? A particular necklace or other piece of jewelry? My outfits feel so plain that it’s bringing me down. All advice appreciated!

    • Cat

      I prefer classic jewelry, but will spice up a boring outfit with a brightly colored belt (ex: gray suit, blue button front shirt, yellow belt), with slightly unusual shoes (ex: navy suit, cream shell, rust suede heels), or with a ruffly or pleated jewel toned shell (these were ubiquitous at jcrew for the last few years; I’ve also had good luck with Tahari).

      • Brooklyn, Esq.

        Ooh, I love the sound of these combinations! Would love to hear more…I want to incorporate more accessories like this, but when confronted with actually purchasing, I end up second-guessing myself.

        • Cat

          this is going to sound slightly cheesy, but I started branching out more in my accessories colors when I started helping hubby pick out shirt/tie combinations – men have such an easy way to add color that it helped me picture what colors to add to my outfits. So where he might wear a tan suit, blue and white striped shirt, and forest green tie, I decided I could wear a tan pencil skirt, white camisole, and navy cardigan belted with a kelly green belt.

          • Brooklyn, Esq.

            That’s brilliant! My husband is doing a surprisingly good job of this himself, so I will have to see how he does it!

    • hellskitchen

      I have a bunch of statement necklaces that I use. Also colorful shoes.

    • petitesq

      I love me some sortof-statement necklaces. [Ridiculous grammar due to extreme exhaustion]. I have multiple, and try to pick them up when I travel. Most are not crazy wild colors, but a couple are bright and provide a “pop”. My favorite is chunky, non-uniform venetian glass beads that are shades of aubergine, black, grey, navy, and hints of gold that I wear with everything. Most are chunky and in the 18 inch range so they work with most necklines and show under a suit, but not excessively. I also like to coordinate the necklace to a pop of color or interest in my shoes, even if it’s a sedate version of color or interest.

      Example: today I’m wearing a black sheath dress and a charcoal heather blazer. My necklace is a simple silver opera-length one with dark purple “stations,” and I have on very dark purple suede shoes that are otherwise traditional. Not wild and crazy, but my bit of fun for the day.

    • Ellen

      I use very LITTLE jewlery b/c the manageing partner does NOT like me to be flashey. I am abel to access my local LAN from here, so I have all the benefit’s of home even tho I am OUT of town!

      I told the manageing partner about the head hunter, and he told me NOT to consider in-house b/c of all the benefit’s I get here. He told me he discused with the other partner’s raiseing my clotheing allowance, and tho it is NOT final, it may go up to 30%. I could aford alot more clotheing with a 30% subsedizeation! Yay!

      I told him that I wanted to be a judge and he agreed that the litiegation expereience is far better here then in house. Jim did agree, but thought I should get more expereience at the firm before applyeing to be a judge. Jim said he was NOT tuned into the political aspects of the judicieary in NYS, so it is good that I did not work for his firm.

      I have to get back to do diliegence now. There are all these stack’s of document’s and I am suposed to go through these? This will take day’s! FOOEY! I was hopeing to get to walk around town, but it does NOT look good for that. All Jim is doing is lookeing at a few document’s and then talking to the paralegal. He will NOT be of much help to me here.

    • AIMS

      I think if you’re wearing an otherwise very conservative pant suit, fun shoes go a long way. Not nec. crazy shoes, but, e.g., purple or dark green heels + black suit.

      I also like chiffon blouses in fun prints, or interesting jewelry. In a way, I think that it’s easier to dress creatively when you wear a very conservative “uniform” because you have more leeway to play around with the extras. Whereas in a business casual office, because you’re already dressed down, it can be a tricker line to toe.

    • BK

      Thank you for all of the replies so far! In a similar vein – where do you prefer to purchase these pieces?

      • Cat

        jcrew and talbots are good for relatively inexpensive belts (wait for a sale – talbots in particular).
        shoes – brooks bros. had some pretty suede heels 2 years ago that I picked up in two colors, and they may well introduce another variation this year. kate spade is also good for a little dose of bright/quirky.
        shells – mentioned above, but jcrew and tahari usually offer a number of options. I’m guessing ann taylor and banana would also, but they fell off my shopping radar due to falling apart sweaters after one season.

      • Bluejay

        Talbots always has nice scarves, but I also pick them up at flea markets, street vendors, wherever I see one I like. I am picky though to make sure they are silk and not polyester of some sort. For shoes, usually Zappos.

      • petitesq

        Shoes – wherever I find “fun” ones on sale. Absolute favorites are all a pointy pump, one Stuart Weitzman, one Carlos Santana, one Nine West.

        Jewelry – same. There are some great Etsy sellers, plus Gilt and RueLaLa. I also make a point of shopping for this stuff on vacations. JCrew and Anthropologie also have good ones, but I refuse to buy them full price.

        It might be useful to think about it in terms of adding one thing that makes you happy to your outfit each day. Then, when you’re out shopping (or online) and see an accent that you just love, ask yourself if it works as a “happy” piece for a work outfit. If so, scoop it up!

      • SF Bay Associate

        Target has great colorful belts at great prices. They go on sale for 20% off periodically, and I’ll pick up one in every color they have in my size for $12 each.

      • MJ

        Mamabear! Drat on you! I am supposed to be saving up for LASIK and now you show me this website. Gorgeous!!!

      • SF Bay Associate

        A store full of baroque pearls??? Super baroque pearls are my favorite!!! Mamabear, you’re the best/worst.

  2. Lavender

    Has anyone else seen the Washington Post piece on Christine Lagarde? She got to the peak of her career without sacrificing grace and charm. Something to aspire to.

    • KC

      She is one of my role models/icons. I saw her speak at a conference and she is incredibly poised (and superficially, had the most amazing silk jacket on. So chic.) Also, she was a member of the French national synchronized swimming team. Such an interesting and accomplished woman!

  3. a passion for fashion

    I think this skirt is lovely.

    In other news, I jsut read about a new closet project i think i will try:

    Commit to wearing every piece of clothing in your closet (obviously evening gowns etc dont need to be involved — and you could do this just for work clothes) once. You have to make and outfit with it and wear it to work, all day. And see how you feel about it. If you are uncomfortable or dont like it — out it goes. If it needs something fixed, fix it, or out it goes. If you put it on in the morning then take it off, out it goes. This will allow you to determing if you are holding on to an item because you will really wear it or for some other reason. I think this is brilliant.

    • KC

      I’ve heard a variation of this where you keep track by turning the hangers in your closet around. Start with the entire closet flipped around, and as you wear a piece, you switch it. It’s something I’ve been meaning to try for awhile :)

    • TO lawyer

      I love this idea! I’m too Type A to try the hanger idea because everything in my closet needs to be facing the same way or it drives me nuts. My wardrobe is fairly pared down already but I feel like I’m still holding on to some pieces that I don’t really like but for some reason, feel guilty getting rid of.

      I’m also trying to get into the shopping mindframe I really aspire to: fewer pieces but higher quality (so more expensive). I feel so much better in my expensive, quality pieces but sometimes when I’m shopping, the incentive is there to buy lots of cheaper pieces instead.

    • Bluejay

      I do this, and keep track by moving unworn things to the back of the closet. If there’s something that’s been in the back of the closet for a full year, it gets donated.

    • Godzilla

      I do this by seeing what clothing is on my bedroom floor and what clothing is still hanging in the closet and hiding in drawers. Whatever’s “properly put away” gets booted.

      • Merabella

        I also use my closet as a space for things I never wear. If it is in there I probably never wear it.

        I just hung a clothing rod outside my closet (thanks pinterest for the idea) to house the clothes that usually live on the floor. I have actually started using it. I think that I work better with clothes when I can actually see them verses having to go into my closet to get them.

    • mamabear

      My husband, who usually does not care too much about what his work clothes look like, did the turned-around hanger thing with his shirts and pants. At the end of 3 months, everything that hadn’t been turned around went to Goodwill. He has discipline, that man.

    • FP Angie

      That is a good idea. I might try for my fall wardrobe… if Fall ever comes over here… 90s tomorrow!

    • Flabbergasted

      I think it is great in theory, but not always practical. I have two issues. First is weight fluctuation and the second is season fluctuation. Last year I did not wear much in terms of cold weather clothing because it never really got cold. However, the prior year was quite cold and I got a lot of use out of that clothing. Most of my weight dependent outfits are suits. I do not wear them often, but they are pretty basic styles that I should be able to wear in the future. It is just too expensive to toss some items based on lack of use.

  4. DC Jenny

    Ok Washingtonians, it’s time for another DC meetup. Bonnie is unfortunately swamped beyond belief at work, so I am taking the reins for the next one. Email DCcorporette [AT] yahoo [dot] com to get on the list. Any suggestions for places and/or times? I was thinking Vapiano, which tends to be good for a crowd of people filtering in and out due to the card system, but I’m totally open to other suggestions.

    Also, as if meeting other over-achieving chicks weren’t exciting enough, I have some brand new in the box Kate Spade earrings to give away. They are the red “Bar None” earrings and they look wonky on me due to my unfortunately crooked piercings (do not let your 6 year old be in charge at the mall piercing kiosk, folks!). I’m not sure the fairest way to do this…maybe first to claim them online and then show up to the meetup gets them?

  5. DC Jenny

    Ok Washingtonians, it’s time for another DC meetup. Bonnie is unfortunately swamped beyond belief at work, so I am taking the reins for the next one. Email DCcorpor e tt e [AT] yahoo [dot] com to get on the list. Any suggestions for places and/or times? I was thinking Vapiano, which tends to be good for a crowd of people filtering in and out due to the card system, but I’m totally open to other suggestions.

    Also, as if meeting other over-achieving chicks weren’t exciting enough, I have some brand new in the box Kate Spade earrings to give away. They are the red “Bar None” earrings and they look wonky on me due to my unfortunately crooked piercings (do not let your 6 year old be in charge at the mall piercing kiosk, folks!). I’m not sure the fairest way to do this…maybe first to claim them online and then show up to the meetup gets them?

    • Honey Pillows

      Yay! Meetup! No suggestions atm, but I’ll turn it over a few times and see if I can’t think of somewhere.

    • 2/3 attorney

      Yay meetup!! Thanks for organizing! I don’t really have any suggestions but I do have class on Monday nights, so I’m hoping for not Mondays.

      Glad to see you are not Ghost anymore!

    • L

      Wonderful! I hope we have one post election too, for those of us who have to go out and deal with that debacle. :)

    • Bluejay

      Which Vapiano? the one near Dupont/Farrugut is always a complete clusterduck and I hate it. It would be almost impossible to find space for 10 people unless someone got there super early and hogged a table. I’m not sure about the Chinatown one since I’ve never been. But it might be better to see if you can reserve space in advance and go with a different location if you can’t.

      • DC Jenny's Ghost

        I was thinking Chinatown. I’ve had good luck with large groups there, and I think reserving space is also a possibility. I’ve never been to the Dupont location, so thanks for the warning!

    • MsLurksALot

      Welcome back from the undead! Thanks for organizing. No particular opinions on location, but within walking distance from a Metro is a big plus.

  6. Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler

    I like the skirt, but I can never find an A-line that look as professional as a pencil skirt.

    Threadjack: I received an invitation to a black tie event this Saturday by the Alumni coordinator of my (former!) law school. I’ve been reading the C’r*tte records and just want to confirm that based on the time, location (the Hyatt), and cost per ticket ($500), I should be looking for a floor length gown.

    Also, I’m planning on going to Nordstrom Rack, JCPenny, and David’s Bridal today to start looking, any other store suggestions or things I should look for/stay away from when I get to those stores?

    Finally, what kind of accessories should I look for? I have jewelry, but it’s mostly costume stuff that I do not think would be appropriate for a gala.

    Thanks in advance for any tips, tricks, or suggestions for my conundrum.

    And Kat, I do not generally like change, but I like the new comment format. Although, I prefer the old logo, I understand why you would feel the need to change.

    • Godzilla

      I hate David’s Bridal, I wouldn’t even waste your time there (unless you were uber desperate). I don’t know if there’s a Lord and Taylor’s near you (I’m not Ellen, I swearsies). Burlington Coat Factory can be a hit or miss.

      • Godzilla

        Oh and I forgot to mention that the Bloomingdale’s clearance rack is pretty phenomenal.

      • JessBee

        If your budget is tight, or if you need a plus size, David’s Bridal can be a good place, although I agree that most of the dresses will not be what you want. You just have to dodge the bridesmaids, homecoming dress shoppers, and slightly rabid salesgirls.

    • momentsofabsurdity

      Is this an annual event? Can you see if there are pictures online from prior years of the event? That shoudl definitely help give you some guidance.

      • Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler

        Thanks to this site, that was the first thing I tried to do. I can find pictures of men (in tuxedos, some with vests some without if that makes any difference), but no pictures of women.

        • Bluejay

          Yes, if men are in tuxes and the event is an evening event, look for a floor-length gown. However, if you can’t find one that works and you won’t have time for tailoring, c-cktail or tea length would be acceptable.

          You’re plus sized, right? Kiyonna and Igigi might be good choices if you can rush shipping.

    • Chilly

      This was years ago, but Macy’s used to have an amazing dress section that would have great sales. I got several evening gowns there for $10.

      I think the jewelry depends on what dress you end up getting.

      • Senior Attorney

        +1 for Macy’s. They tend to have a good selection and even have petites, which is great for short me!

      • JessBee

        I also second Macy’s, although for some reason the Macy’s in my town carries NO grown-up dresses. None. It’s the weirdest thing in the world. The neighboring towns’ Macy’s have great selections; ours doesn’t carry ANY.

        Also, I bought a plus-sized, floor length gown off the rack at Bergners last spring.

    • KC

      I’ve always found my best “event” dresses at Nordstrom Rack or Macy’s. I agree with Godzilla – I wouldn’t recommend David’s Bridal unless it was a last ditch stop. I usually gravitate towards simpler dresses in bold colors, but you might have different tastes. Really, whatever you feel good in is what you should wear!

      In terms of accessories, black tie for me means glitz :) Do you have any costume jewelry with rhinestones or with a bit of sparkle? The neckline of the dress will determine whether or not a necklace or earrings and a bracelet are best.

      Good luck with the dress shopping!

    • Honey Pillows

      Based on the info given, a floor-length would absolutely be appropriate, but to be perfectly honest, there are going to be plenty of women in c0cktail dresses. I second the advice to avoid David’s Bridal. Their bridesmaid dresses invariably look like bridesmaid dresses.

      Pick a fabric that looks fancy, but not cheap. Subtle colors in a satin are nice; fabric that looks likes a rainbow under a different light is not. If you’ll be dancing energetically and have anything over an A cup, stay away from strapless. Technically you shouldn’t wear open-toe heels. Actually with fall coming, depending on where you live, it might be best to wear close toe anyway. It’s getting chilly here in DC at night! Pick a shape that suits you, but stay away from ball gowns. I personally long for the day I’m invited to a white tails event and I can actually justify bringing back out that ridiculous periwinkle tulle concoction I wore to my prom. (It’s classier than it sounds. I swear.)

      • KC

        Re prom dresses: I still have two of mine which my mom insists I’ll be able to wear to a gala someday… we’ll see if that ever happens :)

        • a.

          Hey now, my prom dress is actually extremely versatile, and is my staple fancy cocktail dress :) Granted it doesn’t read prom dress at all (it’s cocktail-length, one color, neither shiny nor faux-satin, and covers my bits). But don’t hate.

        • a.

          [Moderated for dreaded c-word.] Hey now, my prom dress is actually extremely versatile, and is my staple fancy [synonym of rooster]tail dress :) Granted it doesn’t read prom dress at all (it’s [synonym of rooster]tail-length, one color, neither shiny nor faux-satin, and covers my bits).

    • Niktaw

      How tall are you?
      I am 5’4″ and most evening gowns I see in stores are way too long for me. I once got a fantastic, flowy silk gown with a princess waist that was exactly on my natural waist. It needed almost a foot lopped off the bottom – cost me $50, and that was several years ago. Good thing I got the dress itself on clearance.

    • Anon

      Every now and then, if you dig around enough, you can find a nice, floor length “fancy” dress at Ross!

    • Merabella

      This seems silly, but you should check out Goodwill. I feel like post wedding season it could be a jackpot for floor length gowns that people dropped off.

    • Non Twit

      I don’t see anything about your size requirements or style preference, so sorry if I’ve missed that information. If you are between a 0 and a 14 I recommend checking out Rent the Runway (I think that they have some 16s and 18s now, too). I’ve rented dresses a few times and have had great experiences. I like RTR because i) I want to keep my closet as streamlined as possible and don’t want to clutter it with dresses that I won’t wear again, ii) I tend to be a bit more daring with my choice as I’m not making a commitment to a particular dress (as in, I avoid buying a variation of a plain black dress), and iii) I can browse and order online. The dress reviews provide helpful feedback about sizing and you can get a dress in 2 sizes for no extra charge if it is your first time trying a particular designer. I also believe that you can order a second dress in a different style for a lower price, though this may have been a specific promotion. That said, I’ve used RTR for social situations (mainly weddings) where I want to have more fun with clothing. The dresses I’ve rented have been in great condition (couldn’t really tell that they were pre-worn), came on time and were sent back to RTR without issue. I’ve also rented accessories — everything worked out really well.

  7. Fall Jackets

    Did you guys already talk about this… if yes, can you please point me to the post?

    I’m looking for recs for good fall jackets (preferably under $150-200) for work (and play, but mostly work). Knee length would be ideal.

    • Ms. Basil E. Frankweiler

      I don’t know if it’s already been discussed, but I have a red car coat from Old Navy that I got last year for $20 that I love. It’s warm and, although it was very boxy, was easily tailored. I’ll check the website to see if it’s still there, but you may want to take a look.

    • SAB

      Department stores usually have wool blend coats/jackets in that price range. I have had luck at Macys and Belks.

    • nona

      Lands End has some really pretty wool/cashmere/nylon coats the I’m wanting. Pea coat and swing car coat styles. LE runs discount codes pretty often, if you sign up for their emails.

      • Mary

        Lands End has a friends and family 30% off promo through 10/2. They have several knee length options that would be in your price range after discount. Code is SQUALL, pin 1237.

        • Anon in MD

          Oooh, thanks! That was the incentive I needed to order myself a new trench coat and pea coat!

  8. Chilly

    TJ! What exactly does one wear to a trendy nightclub when she’s outgrown buying cheap dresses at Forever 21?

    • TX lawyer

      Skinny jeans and a cute top? With your highest heels?

      PS: I know I’m getting old because most everything at F21 seems obscenely short.

    • TO lawyer

      Do you want to wear a dress? I feel like I’ve outgrown cheap F21 dresses but I still prefer to wear skirts or dresses. One of my favourite bar pieces is a bandage skirt, which I can wear with a tank or with a more conservative top – seriously, one of the most versatile (non-work) pieces in my wardrobe.

    • MaggieLizer

      Nice jeans and top, or a not-Forever 21 dress. I tend to do something kind of plain and add blingy accessories. I’ve gotten a few black tops with nice little draped details and my favorite black halter dress at White House Black Market. I got a few clubbing dresses at Guess years ago and they’ve held up surprisingly well, but I haven’t been back to the store since, like, 2007, so I can’t speak to the quality now. I was at a hipster club (don’t ask) over the weekend and several girls were wearing lace sheath dresses, which looked really lovely and you can get more wear out of them than just club attire.

    • Anita (formerly S)

      I feel like the jeans and sexy top look is a little dated. A bandage skirt and sheer, flowy top or shorts with booties/heels and a blouse could work. It’s a club, after all, you want to show some skin.

      • LadyEnginerd

        Nooooooo! How can that look be dated? It’s the only way I could be convinced to leave my apartment to go to said establishment in the winter (when I lived in Chicago). It was my going out, yet avoiding frostbite uniform for 10 years!

        So it begins: when I choose practicality over fashion is the day I am truly too old to go out to a trendy nightclub.

    • elz

      Zara tunic and heels? Caveat- I have not been to a nightclub since a bachelorette party 4 years ago!

    • Basics

      My uniform for events like that (which are few in my life, I admit): Plain black leather pants, black patent Cole Haan/Air Nike peeptoe sling backs (insanely comfortable) and either a satiny top or a fancy-ish sweater (depending on the weather).

    • Herbie

      I’ve bought a bunch of dresses from Piper Lime that were reasonably priced and good for wearing out.

    • eastbaybanker

      I would look at BCBG, Express or Zara. Both of them have trendy sexy pieces that are well cut and sized for grown ups. BCBG has better fabrics (wool, silk). At 30-something, clubbing isn’t really my scene. But I can still rock a bandage dress upon occassion. I just wear my skirts longer, can afford to order top shelf liquor, and ALWAYS wear Spanx!

  9. Honey Pillows

    All the colored tights talk of yesterday finally made me pull out those carmine red tights and slap them on this morning.

    In defiance to Belle’s Two-Out-Of-Three rule for tights, and in deference to what actually exists in my closet, I’m currently wearing the red tights with a grey skirt and black sweater, and dark purple pumps. To be fair, dark purple is the closest color of shoes I own to red, and my black skirt is currently at the cleaners. Maybe I need to go shopping for a grey sweater and purple tights?

    • a.

      Or maybe you should continue to defy Belle’s fashion fiats, and trust yourself that, as a grown-@$$ woman with a brain and eyeballs, you can decide for yourself what looks nice.

      Just sayin’. But then I hate fashion “rules.” (Which, BTW, I would distinguish from something like a dress code.)

    • Marilla

      I read Belle’s “rules” on tights yesterday and her decree against coloured tights, and it irritated me so much. I usually wear black or grey, but I used to wear dark purple , and I think I’ll bring those back and look for a nice deep teal or navy too. I work in a business casual office and always wear skirts, so I may die if I only wear black tights between now and April. Rock on with your red tights :)

    • Nonny

      Awesome, Honey. After reading Belle’s “rules” yesterday my goal for this winter is to wear coloured tights as frequently and as flagrantly as possible.

        • a.

          I think she thinks they’re Rules, but then I have aired my views on Belle before. Not knocking her taste–it’s impeccable, and I love many of the pieces she features (probably, to be honest, more than the clothes over here). However, I think her tone can come across as holier-than-thou and extremely judgmental of anyone who say, wears colored tights, or dares venture out in sandals without a perfect pedicure, thereby afflicting her with their chipped toenails and/or SOULS.

          • TO lawyer

            This is exactly how I feel about her. I love the outfits she puts together, which is the only real reason why I’m still reading but she is very judgmental.

            Actually, sometimes even her outfit combinations and hair/make-up suggestions put me to shame

            Signed… the girl who wears her hair and makeup exactly the same every day to work

        • hellskitchen

          Love the pirates of the caribbean reference (if that’s what you were going for)

  10. 2/3 attorney

    Sometimes my office is super casual – like jeans, sneakers and hoodies (which I find very frustrating). Most of the women either wear bootcut jeans and sneakers, or skinny jeans and flats. I am wondering if it would be wrong to wear flat, knee-high leather boots with my skinnies? I think it looks way better than sneakers in the office (gross) but is admittedly a little more sexy than flats.

    Thoughts?

    • momentsofabsurdity

      I wear knee high leather boots to my (super casual) office all the time. I don’t think they are necessarily super sexy, I think it depends more on the cut and heel height for them. Maybe start with riding boots or slouchier boots and see if you feel comfortable, and go from there?

    • KC

      I think flat boots sound appropriate in a situation where others are wearing sneakers. Perhaps to get comfortable with the idea, pair them with a blazer or other structured top the first few wears?

      • roses

        Careful on the style of the blazer if you go this route though (e.g., avoid elbow patches) – you don’t want to look like you’re about to go horseback riding!

        • KC

          Ha, yes, this is a good point. Equestrian is probably not the look 2/3 attorney is going for ;)

        • Honey Pillows

          I disagree. Who DOESN’T want her coworkers to think she’s going to be going riding immediately after work? In fact, I would suggest jodhpurs to complete the look.

        • 2/3 attorney

          I do have a tweed-y blazer with elbow patches…. now I am very disappointed to realize I maybe shouldn’t wear it with jeans and boots! Boo…I probably have some breeches or jodhs buried in a box somewhere!

      • L

        +1. This with a blazer seems acceptable. And as long as your skinny jeans aren’t skin tight. During recess totally appropriate.

          • L

            If you’re showering, you’re above 40% of the staff. I am always amazed at the funk that happens when Members go home. I think we should change the gift rules to allow distribution of dry shampoo!

    • roses

      I don’t really think *flat* knee-high boots are sexy at all, unless they’re studded or bejeweled or something. I think that would be perfectly OK in a casual office, and way nicer-looking than sneakers.

      • JessBee

        I agree. Unless “knee high” means above the knee (and I wouldn’t think it would). There’s something about thigh-high boots that seems sexual to me, and I think that would be the case even if they were flat (is there such a thing? There must be somewhere, right?).

    • violet

      I would think that would be fine. I don’t really think of flat boots as sexy. They seem more elegant to me (I guess an association with posh riding attire??). Definitely an upgrade from sneakers.

    • Anon Analyst

      I work in a super-casual office and my Friday uniform in cold weather is skinny jeans and knee high boots. Personally, I don’t think flat boots with skinnies are too sexy. I agree with momentsofabsurdity with regard to starting with riding/slouchy boots. I’ve gotten lots of boots from DSW.

  12. e_pontellier

    Hey you guise. What does one wear to a Jay-Z concert? This is my first popular music concert of any sort (yes, I know, it’s crazy that it’s taken this long), I’m going with my husband, and I would love to wear comfortable shoes (I wear orthotics…). It’s friday. Any suggestions? Thank you!

    (and Kat – I’m so impressed with how responsive you are with our comments on the new layout!)

    • A

      First off, I’m totally jealous. I’ve seen Jay Z a few times now (once with Kanye for the Watch the Throne tour last year) and he gives an amazing show. You are going to have such a good time!

      Second, wear what you’re comfortable in. I think I changed into jeans and tall but low-heeled boots after work. My recollection is that the concert started late — maybe 9 p.m. instead of 7:00-7:30? — so wear clothes you are comfortable in. Have fun!

      • Diana Barry

        Earplugs! Tshirt (statement tee) and jeans, and comfy shoes. Depending on the venue, people may spill beer on you.

    • a.

      For concerts I wear the trendier side of my wardrobe, and shoes I’ll be comfortable standing in for however many hours. The last concert I went to I wore a black open-backed top, bright blue (as in, blue-blue, not blue-jean-blue) skinny jeans, and flat red boots, with some sparkly accessories, if that gives you any kind of reference point.

    • Brooklyn, Esq.

      Oh my gosh, you’re going to the concert at the new Barclay’s???? I want to hear about it! (I live nearish there…)

      Oh right, helpful advice…I would wear flat shoes or boots (you want to be able to get up and dance!), skinny jeans or pants, then a fun top and big jewelry (for me, which means not big at all, but I’m sure you will see some pretty major stuff there…it’ll be awesome).

      Have fun!!

    • AnonAz

      Your Dressler book is on its way! I can’t log into Yahoo for some reason, but wanted to confirm. Hope its helpful!

      • e_pontellier

        You’re the greatest!! Thank you so so much!
        Also, thanks for the wardrobe help everyone. I will feel totally cool rocking out in comfy shoes, jeans, and a trendy top. (and @Brooklyn, Esq., yes at the new Barclays!!!! I am so so excited!)

  13. Lyssa

    Love the color and shape of this skirt!

    So, what kind of office do I work at? The kind where I’m out for the morning to have my glucose screening test done (it’s a screen for gestational diabetes), which requires fasting (something I would be extremely unhappy with even if not pregnant), and when I get back to the office, ravenous, there happens to be a huge cinnamon bun waiting for me on my desk. Yeah, that kind of office.

    Almost makes up for the fact that I failed the glucose test. :(

    • EC MD

      Don’t forget, the 1 hour glucose test is designed to have a very low false negative rate and that in turn means that it has a pretty significant false positive rate — they are really working hard not to miss everyone who has GD, so many people who don’t have GD end up getting a false positive on the first test. The three hour test will help sort it out.

  14. still anon for a while

    Oh, the irony…

    I posted yesterday after discovering I was pregnant this past weekend, and am one of two female attorneys at a smaller firm (6 attorneys total). I’m due the beginning of May.

    Yesterday the only other female attorney (7 years senior to me) announced to the office as a whole that she is 18 weeks pregnant, due in February. She told the other partners about three weeks ago. After the congratulations at the meeting, they announced that to deal with that crunch (which it is, we’re slammed), they are asking nobody to take pre-planned vacation time from Feb until June.

    I just had to tell somebody. What are the chances of something like this happening?

    • bb

      more than you’d think!! if we didn’t just have 2 of my 8 associate group announce they were pregnant 3 weeks ago, I would have sworn I work with you!! I’m not one of the mommies-to-be, I’m going to be one of the slammed ones!! Nothing you can do – they’ll survive, congrats!!!

    • Anon for This

      Something similar happened at my office. I announced, and then 2 months later, another attorney announced she is due exactly 2 months after me.

  15. Amber

    Shopping help –

    I live in cardigans and shells/tshirts in the winter. I have to make a concerted effort to NOT wear a cardigan every day. I have a bunch of solid sweaters that I like, but I’m really looking for more printed long-sleeved (or 3/4 sleeve) shirts. I generally try to avoid button-ups because I’m bosomy, but I love secretary/bow blouses. Business casual office, erring on the side of casual. Any suggestions?

    • PollyD

      Check out Boden for printed shirts. They have some nice cross-over jersey tops and also button-ups. I’m a bit bosomy, too, but sometimes the Boden button-ups fit. I think Modcloth and Dorothy Parker are good sources for bow blouses (I love them too! So happy to find out I’m not the only one, many here seem to not like them so much), I also recently got a colorful (some might say gaudy) one from Old Navy. To be fair, many of the ON and DP ones look like they might need a cami underneath. Last winter I got a bow blouse from DP that is ivory with black birds printed on it, I really like it. DP quality is decent, somewhat better than ON.

      I’d also check the usual suspects of Loft, Limited, NY&Co, BR, maybe even Piper Lime. I’m thinking about places that have good searchable websites. I think the Macys and Lord & Taylor websites are not very good, and the bricks-and-mortar versions near me also are not great, so I don’t really know what they have. Oh, it requires some digging, but H&M sometimes has cute print blouses, +/- bows.

      • ChinaRette

        Great recommendations! I’m in the same boat. I’ll say–used to hate Ann Taylor Loft, but I went in there recently and the outfits were GORGEOUS. Pretty colors, flattering cuts…much better than they used to be.

      • Amber

        Thanks! I always forget about Dorothy Perkins. I’ve checked out the stuff before but haven’t taken the plunge. Good to know on the quality.

        • PollyD

          I think DP runs a bit smaller than US brands. I’m usually an XS at Loft, Old Navy, NY&Co, especially for more “drapey” tops and at DP I was a 4 for the drapey top and probably a 6 for anything more fitted. I ordered one of their short-sleeve button-ups in 4 and it was way too tight across the chest. They usually have a free shipping deal going, and if you sign up for their email you should get a coupon. Returns are not free and require standing in line at the post office and filling out customs forms. Not a big deal, but not like just throwing an envelope in the mailbox. I think it cost me about $13 to return 3 shirts and a dress.

    • Jules

      Maybe more dressy than casual but I’m wearing today a faux-wrap blouson top from Talbot’s that I love, works great on my bosomy shape. I’ve got the black polka-dot one but just put red and black in my shopping cart. (My self-imposed shopping ban is in tatters.) It runs large — I’m usually a 12-14, usually have to get an XL in tops (esp. t-shirts) but the medium fits me great.

      http://www.talbots.com/online/browse/product_details.jsp?rootCategory=cat70008&id=prdi29455

      http://www.talbots.com/online/browse/product_details.jsp?id=prdi29437&mode=search&backurl=%2Fonline%2Fsearch%2FsearchResults.jsp%3Fquestion%3Dblouson%26trail%3D%26pageNum%3D0%26addFacet%3DSRCH%253Ablouson%26removeFacet%3D

      Best of all, there’s a 25% off coupon with free shipping, so it’s $45 instead of $60. Code: 928089379

    • Jules

      Reposting, without links, drat the moderation.

      Maybe more dressy than casual but I’m wearing today a faux-wrap blouson top from Talbot’s that I love, works great on my bosomy shape. I’ve got the black polka-dot one but just put red and black in my shopping cart. (My self-imposed shopping ban is in tatters.) It runs large — I’m a 12-14, usually have to get an XL in tops (esp. t-shirts) but the medium fits me great.

      Best of all, there’s a 25% off coupon with free shipping, so it’s $45 instead of $60. Code: 928089379

  16. paging TCFKAG

    I submitted something to your tumblr about a week ago but I’m fairly certain I did it wrong.. I hate using tumblr for anything other than looking at other people’s pretty pictures.
    But.. just in case- I need jeans, preferably ones that aren’t skintight denim (skintight ponte knit fake jeans I can handle if you have good suggestions for those) the catch- I HATE HATE HATE wearing pants… however I live in a place where they are going to be more of a necessity than they were in the other half of the state for college.
    I am short (5’4) and heavier (bouncing around between a 16 and 20 depending on cut, brand etc. I think this is going to be an activity where I need to actually go try things on so brick and mortar suggestions are great too- the closest real shopping to me is either Wrentham or actual Boston to give you a rough location.
    If anyone else has suggestions I will happily take them too!

    • Anonnc

      Ugh. Just lost a long comment to “posting too quickly.” Short answer: Try Old Navy. Go early, try on dozens of pairs and skip to the checkout to pay a fraction of the price of premium denim.

      • Katey

        One word of warning about Old Navy, is that if you are large-of-thigh (like me), old navy may not be your friend. I gave it way too many chances and had to give up. Also try JAG brand pull-on denim (Nordstrom carries it as do other dept stores)

  18. zora

    Is anyone else STILL a giddy fangirl jumping up and down inside about the aDORable Castle premiere last night!?!? Oh, and Shirtless Nathan Fillion, Yes Please!!!!

    no…
    just me?……
    oh well ;o)

  19. Nancy P

    Love the skirt. Would look awesome with blue, grey, or cream blazers. Must stay on SHOPPING HIATUS.

  20. Amelia Bedelia

    does anyone have a JCrew promo code??? I need shorts last minute and even their sale prices make me squirm!

  21. super anon

    I had a friend in high school (15 years ago), and we were probably closest then. Since then, we probably met up for dinner once or twice a year and emailed every once in awhile until she moved across the country four years ago. I didn’t think we had much in common anymore, so I thought I’d just let the friendship fade on my end (no hard feelings, but I just didn’t feel a strong connection), but she continued to email and call me out of the blue a couple times a year.

    Well, she just had a baby. I sent a nice card, but now I’m wondering if I’m a total jerk for not sending a gift (and if so, is it too late to send one? The baby was born about three weeks ago). I don’t know what the etiquette is for something like this. Should one always send a gift? If it were a close friend, the gift would have already been in the mail, but I feel like in this case I’m more doing it because I feel like I should than out of any remaining friendship. And if so, what should I send?

    • Suzer

      I think a card is enough. Another nice touch is to add baby’s birthdate to your calendar and send her an email on baby’s first birthday.

    • LeChouette

      I don’t think a gift is necessary unless its for a close friend, but you seem to feel like you want to send a gift — if that’s the case then 3 weeks is certainly not too late! If it was 6 mos I would tell you to wait and send a nice 1st birthday gift, but you are so close that you can still send one.

      as for what to send, see if there is anything left on a registry for her (try amazon, giggle, or babysrus) — if not, everyone loves books and you won’t have to worry about matching any aesthetic.

      • AmyRenee

        Books are a nice “thinking of you” gesture that don’t cost much and are easy for parents to deal with. If this is the first baby in the family they may very well be drowning in “stuff”. At this point since you already sent a card you could send a book around Christmas instead if you wanted to. But I certainly wouldn’t be offended that you didn’t send a gift, and if she is offended then you don’t want to be friends with her anyway and its a good time to let the relationship go.

    • nona

      I think a card is enough in this case, unless you really want to give a gift. And 3 weeks better not be too late, because I’ve got a blanket I’m finishing up to give to my friend, and her baby’s about 4 weeks old now.

    • Anita (formerly S)

      You sent a nice card! Don’t feel guilty. Gifts are never required and, in this case, you are not that close to the new mom.

    • TBK

      If you want to send a gift, three weeks is definitely not too late. I actually often wait until the baby is about 3 mo old before sending presents (unless I was invited to the shower, of course) and then I send an outfit for the upcoming season (e.g., if the baby was born in June, I’ll buy winter outfit and send it in Sept). I figure parents get piles of clothing that are (1) in sizes 0-3 mo. and (2) from the season the baby is born, but by the time the baby is six months, none of the gift clothes fit anymore.

      • super anon

        Thanks, all! You’ve made me feel much better. I may send a small gift, just because I like to acknowledge such a major event. And I’m glad to hear I’m not too late. I wasn’t sure if everyone sent gifts the day the baby was born or what!

  22. kc esq

    Has anyone ever seen Fossil brand clothing in stores? The catalog is cute, but I don’t know where to get it in person.

    • Amber

      There’s a store locator on the website. I’ve seen purses/accessories at Nordstrom and such, but I’ve never seen clothing anywhere but the store itself.

    • Lulu

      They sell it as Fossil stores. I know that probably doesn’t help much if you don’t have one nearby.

  23. Lulu

    I got some “ball of foot” gel pads to make my heels more comfortable and they are driving me crazy! They only cover 1/2 of the ball of my foot. I can’t figure out if that’s what they’re supposed to feel like or if they’re just me.

    • JessBee

      They only cover half the ball? Are they maybe too far forward or too far back in your shoe? I usually have to fidget with mine a few times to get them right.

    • DC Jenny

      I hate that! When I end up with a “seam,” for lack of a better term, it irritates the bottom of my foot and is more uncomfortable than the shoe without the pad. I buy men’s pads and cut them down to size to avoid this problem.

  24. CPA to be

    Thank you letter damage control help?

    So I interviewed at an accounting firm in town today with an awesome and slightly intimidating female partner. I’d really like to work there. The interview went pretty well, but now I’m kicking myself about the answer I gave to one of the last questions she asked. She asked if a friend were to describe in one word, what would that word be. Honestly, the first thing that flashed through my mind was “reliable.” And that is what I told her. Not “ambitious” or “achieving” or any of the other strong, wonderful words my friends would use to describe me. Reliable. Not even dependable. Ugh.

    Is there some way I can do damage control in my thank you note, or should I just write a good note without mentioning it? She did say that I seemed matrue and professional and that I would fit in well there, so its not like I think I totally bombed the interview… but still. Ugh.

    • DC Jenny

      I think you should just take a deep breath and let it go. It’s not like you said something totally inappropriate like “uber-sk@ank” or “mega-b1tch” or something. I would imagine that an accounting firm is looking for reliable people and can probably tell from your resume that you are also ambitious and high-achieving. Send your thank you note as usual and try not to stress.

    • Nonny

      Hey, there is absolutely nothing wrong with being reliable, especially if you are an accountant. I think you are overthinking this. Just let it go….

    • Former Partner, Now In-House

      I’m an attorney, not a CPA, so what do I know? But it seems to me that “reliable” is plenty good when one is talking about accountants.

    • Merabella

      I think reliable is a great word. It means that people can depend on you to show up and do your job. Plus I think reliable would be a great work for a CPA (which I’m assuming you are due to your name).

    • KC

      I’m not in accounting, but it seems like reliable would be an excellent trait for such a detail oriented profession. Perhaps your nerves are just undermining your confidence? I’m sure you did great! Definitely follow up with the customary thank you note, but don’t worry about redacting/changing your answer. Good luck!

    • CPA to be

      Thanks everyone. I know I’m overthinking this. Will take a deep breath and let it go. And thanks for the giggle, Jenny.

    • Ketchup

      Definitely overthinking it. I’m very familiar with the Big4 – reliable is a good word there even if you interviewed in their advisory/consulting wing.

      A card would be a nice touch, but if you got a sense she travels a lot, I would go with a short email. That way she will get it. I’ve had thank you cards from interviews that I looked at 8 months after an interview – not in the office too often.

    • new york associate

      I would much rather hire someone who is reliable than someone who is ambitious or high-achieving.

  25. Anonallama

    Wow, I go a few days without being able to check the site, and everything changes! Looks cool!

    Ladies, I have a finicky shopping challenge for you. I am attending a wedding at a llama farm this weekend. The dress code is “dressy cocktail,” and everything I know about the bride suggests it will be a gorgeous and very classy affair…at a llama farm. My dress is dark red and hits just below my knee. This is not my dress, but it’s a similar color: http://www.zappos.com/product/8009046/color/197

    I’ll be wearing a black belt with my dress, and either a black bolero-type wrap or a dark mocha / taupe slightly sequined wrap (despite my description, it’s really pretty neutral). I need help finding a good pair of shoes! I have some quite tall black heels, but I’m a little unsteady in them, and I’m not sure how much of a problem that would be on a llama farm. I’d like something cute, preferably that I could later wear to my business casual office (I’m willing to wear just about anything shoes-wise that doesn’t scream “kocktail” to work), that has some heel but that will be safe for the llama farm. I need them to come in wide, and I need to be able to get my hands on a pair by Thursday, as we have to travel for the wedding. Also, I’m cheap (I won’t spend more than $100 on this unless I absolutely LOVE them), and I’m a bit of a heel novice, so bonus points for comfort.

    Left on my own, I’ll probably just wear the black pair I have, and it may be too late to do anything else. But in case anyone wants to do some vicarious shoe-shopping, I thought I’d throw out the gauntlet! :)

  26. CPA

    Random Rant – Our office provides free, unlimited soda to employees (WHY?). The guy that sits in the cube next to me drinks about 5 Mountain Dews a day (I hear him cracking the cans). He is the type that’s always tapping, humming, or doing other repetitive noises. When you talk to him you can tell he’s on caffeine cloud 9. Drives me crazy! Why? Why do I care if this guy is unhealthy? Everytime I hear him crack a can I want to scream THAT SH*IT IS GOING TO KILL YOU!!

    • FP Angie

      Our office does the same thing. I have my Diet Coke at lunch and that’s about it. I don’t think there’s even a regular soda available. 5 Mountain Dews is nuts.

    • Lyssa

      Many years back, I waited tables, and there was this one family that would come in every Sunday lunch. The man would insist that the hostess bring him glass after glass of Mountain Dew while he waited for a table (which was usually not more than 20-30 minutes). Then, when he sat down, he would demand that the server bring him an entire pitcher of Moutain Dew, which he would sometimes have refilled over the course of his meal. Just for him, not for the whole family.

      The stuff still freaks me out because of that.

      That was 10 years ago, and the guy was probably in his early 40s. I sometimes wonder if he’s still around.

  27. Eek!

    Clothes help needed – I have an old blood stain on the arm of a white dress shirt. I stupidly have already washed and dried the shirt since. Any tips on how to get it out now?

    • nona

      I’ve had some luck with an Oxyclean soak (like for an hour) and then cold wash. I’d check before throwing it in the dryer, and maybe soak again if necessary.

    • Lurker emerging

      Coming out of lurking status to advise you:)- I’m a surgical resident, and we all swear by hydrogen peroxide!

  28. FP Angie

    Psychological weight loss boost this morning! Went from the “160s” to the “150s”! So nice to see that number again, which I haven’t seen since before my first baby was born. Still a loooong way to go but did a happy dance this morning.

    • Cornellian

      Congrats! I jsut got my first scale in a decade and am not in the right “tens” yet. Looking forward to that jump myself!

      • eastbaybanker

        I’ve decided I should probably own a scale again, just to be sure I stay within my 10 pound range for good this time. Can anyone recommend a good one? I bought a piece of crap with amazing reviews on Amazon that varies by 8 pounds depending on where in the bathroom it’s placed.

  29. CKB

    Business travel with a subordinate help.

    OK, so I’m a relatively new manager, and have never ever travelled for business overnight with a supervisor before.

    In October I will be travelling with a new hire in his 3rd week of employment to Houston for training on a proprietary software system our company uses. He reports directly to me. I a real homebody. When I thought I’d be attending this training alone I had planned on hitting Target one night (I’m Canadian), maybe a mall another night, and watching Netflix in my room the rest of the time. I’m not a super social person, and being with people I mostly don’t know all day will be draining for me. I’m a married mom of 3 kids and most nights for me are stay home nights. And I don’t drink at all, so I rarely spend any time at the bar. We’ll be sharing a rental car which he won’t be able to drive because he won’t have the company driver training before we go, but it looks like the area our hotel is in has lots of things withing walking distance. And of course there are always cabs.

    My co-worker is younger than me, and I’m not sure what he’ll be expecting. I hardly know him (as you can imagine) and I’m hoping we’ll get to know each other better during this trip because we’ll probably be working fairly closely together. Of course we’ll be going out for dinner, which I will pick up the tab for. Should I expect to do other social stuff with him in the evenings? Offer to take him to Target & the mall with me? What do you guys think? This is far outside my realm of experience.

    Oh, and if there are any posts anyone knows of that address this issue please share!

    • FP Angie

      No. When I traveled with a superior (who I knew pretty well) we had dinner, maybe drinks one night, and called it a night. Perhaps you can make it clear he’s allowed to check out the sights so he doesn’t feel stuck in the hotel room, but I don’t think he’ll expect to hang out with you 24/7. Oh, and have fun at Target. I couldn’t imagine life without one in every part of the city!

    • Herbie

      Nah. Go to dinner and don’t worry about the rest. You’re both professional adults. He’s a big boy who can plan his own time.

    • locomotive

      as someone who is closer to the position of your new hire, i would say his expectations are probably dinner and nothing else. i don’t think you need to offer to take him to target and the mall at all.

    • Maddie Ross

      As someone who has only ever traveled as the subordinate, I’d have to say I’m generally relieved when my “superior” is only interested in dinner, or perhaps even separating to our own rooms in the evening. After a long work day, I hate feeling forced to socialize with drinks or other planned activities. I think if you wanted to offer him the ride to Target or the mall since he can’t otherwise get there, great. But I think if you just let him know that he is welcome to entertain himself in the evenings, he’d likely be fine with that.

    • cfm

      trust me, he doesn’t want to go to target with you. Its going to be scary for him too! dinner and nothing else.

    • BLP

      Totally agree you’re under no obligation to socialize with him in this situation. But do him a favor ahead of time (or at least while traveling there) and tell him ahead of time. He may be wondering right now what will be expected of him in the evenings too, and you can set his mind at rest. I’ve often said something like “I hope you won’t be offended, but as a working mom, I find that traveling is the only time I can get any ‘me time’ without feeling guilty for neglecting my kids in the evening. So when we’re on the road, maybe we can grab dinner together one night, but otherwise I plan to spend the evenings just enjoying the solitude of my hotel room and being able to watch whatever I want on TV.”

      • AmyRenee

        This. And be clear with him about what its ok for him to expense at night. For instance, “Since you won’t have your company mandated drivers training I can’t let you take the rental car, but you can expense dinner up to $ a night (for nights you won’t be going with him) and a cab to get there and back. If you want to go [shopping, to a sporting event, to a museum, etc] in the evening thats fine, the company will cover the cab but the admission price will be on you.” Or whatever your company policy is.
        Is it just the two of you in the training or is it a group thing? If he wants to go out and see the sights chances are there will be someone else in the group that wants to go out too, he can tag along with them.

    • CKB

      Thanks everyone! This is what I was thinking. Especially what cfm said about not coming to Target with me. It would be like my little bro tagging along – very weird. I’ll just let him know that he is on his own after class, and mabye we’ll do dinner. He’s been to Houston before & I haven’t, so he might have a couple of good restaurant suggestions (hopefully) and he also might know what he wants to do in the evenings, too. Although I’ll probably offer to give him a lift if I go to the mall to be nice. I was feeling bad about having the only transportation, but it’s not like we’re in the middle of nowhere! And it’s a perk for being the boss, I guess. I have to keep reminding myself that I’m the boss and it’s ok if things are a little uneven.

      • elz

        Houstonian here & hope you have a great time in our city. A few food suggestions- if you are going to check out Target, check out one of our new Trader Joe’s. For shopping, definitely hit the Nordstrom and, if you are staying in town, the shops at City Center are really nice and have great variety plus yummy places to eat. I’d make sure to try Haven, Underbelly, Hugo’s-fantastic Mexican, Reef, at least one Goode Company (they have BBQ and TexMex), and El Real for a more nieghborhoody (but still Caswell cooking) Mexican.

        Have fun! Oh, and I agree with the rest of the posters re: his expectations will probably be just dinner one night.

    • Away Game

      Meh. He probably doesn’t want to spend his evenings with the new boss, either, but may not be sure of your expectations, so set them up before you leave or at least on the way there: “Hey, I though we’d do dinner x night, if you’re interested. I’ll be running errands for various things during the rest of our visit. If you have any particular interests, the hotel’s Front Desk should be able to help. Have you been to Houston before?” There: frees him up to make plans of his own and flags that you don’t need a sidekick.

      P.S. I have worked with bosses who are basically hermits and don’t want to be around people unnecessary (ok, more strong Myers Briggs interoverts) and others who expect me to be their constant companion in exploring new places. I can adjust to either one, but as a slight introvert, I MUCH prefer knowing which species of business traveller I’m with so I can mentally prepare.

    • Maggie

      Dinner with boss/coworkers is pretty standard, especially when sharing a car, but nothing else is expected. However feel free to offer a ride if you’re going somewhere! I’ve been the “newbie” before and appreciated a ride to the mall when I would have been bored otherwise (we split up when we got there and picked a time to meet at the car later – still felt like alone time). Also cabs are easy enough in Houston if he wants to branch out.

      • Maggie

        Oh and most importantly enjoy some Tex Mex food while you’re in Houston!! Lupe Tortilla is my favorite.

          • CKB

            Yes!! The 2 items on my non-work to do list are Tex Mex food and Target! Anyone have any other recommendations?

  30. momentsofabsurdity

    Has anyone else noticed private messages showing up on Facebook timeline? There’s been some news flurry about it today, and Facebook is denying it – but going through my timeline, it seems to be true.

    What makes me think it is true and happening is that a college ex and I were discussing two or three years ago, how it was funny that before we even started dating or knew each other, we exchanged FB messages (“Oh, hey, you’re going to the same college as me” kind of deals). At the time, we went back into our inboxes (since it wouldn’t have been possible to even find those messages on walls, there wasn’t a great “look back” feature in the old FB), found the messages and laughed at ourselves.

    Now I’ve found those messages posted to my timeline as wall posts (as well as some messages where I give my mailing address, phone number, etc, when I know was pretty careful to keep that stuff in messages and off walls in general).

    Has anyone else noticed this? Am I panicked over nothing?

    • TO lawyer

      I heard about this yesterday so checked through and my messages were definitely not on my timeline. Sometimes changes are slow to roll-out though.

      I just thought of something – facebook may be posting your messages to your timeline but only you can see them. Isn’t there a way to check who certain posts are shared with?

      There was an article on Gidzmo (sp?) about this yesterday I think so take a look at that if you’re concerned…

  31. Senior Attorney

    You guise! Mr. Senior Attorney and I are going to see “Book of Mormon” tonight in Los Angeles and I am totes excited! Plus I had a genius idea for what to wear: Black J Crew Minnies, sky high heels, WHITE SHORT SLEEVED SHIRT, and sequined tank over it all. Get it? “Book of MORMON?” Black pants and WHITE SHORT SLEEVED SHIRT?? Get it?

    Heh. I crack myself up.

    / easily amused

    / ridiculously pleased with myself

    • DC Jenny

      I like your style. All you need is some sort of bedazzled nametag, and you are set.

    • Anonymous

      I saw it last weekend in LA and loved it! You’ll have a blast! And I’m kind of in love with the outfit idea.

    • CKB

      LOL, and FTR, it doesn’t have to be short sleeved, just a white dress shirt (I’m LDS and 2 of my brothers were missionaries). Have fun!

      • Senior Attorney

        LOL, thanks everybody! I’ve been listening to the cast album and it is so funny!! But they missed out on a sure laugh line:

        “Brazil! Land of blowouts and bikini waxes!!”

  32. Meeting etiquette

    Ladies – I’m looking for some advice to address a partner at my firm who I work with on a regular basis. We’re in the same small practice area, so I don’t want to burn bridges.

    On three separate occasions, we’ve scheduled meetings to discuss various matters. When I get to his office, he’ll indicate that he’s ready to start (“come in, let’s go review this …”) and then each time, I sit down, he then picks up the phone and makes a totally unrelated and non-emergency phone call. I don’t appreciate that he is wasting my time, and I think it is an unprofessional power to move to show that he’s important / busy. He has never said anything like “sorry — needed to make that call” to explain.

    The second time this happened (while he was discussing logistics a social event several weeks off), I simply left his office and then came back a few minutes later. Our offices are next to each other, so we can generally hear when the other is on the phone. During the same meeting, he then said, “hold on a minute”, left the office…and then came back a few minutes later. I’ve considered saying, “I didn’t realize this was a bad time.” Any advice? I don’t want to set precedent or for him to think I’m a push over.

    • DC Jenny

      I have a boss that does this. I’ve tried asking to come back at a better time. He says “no, stay.” I’ve tried scheduling meetings ahead of time. He won’t do that. I’ve tried handling things via email. He can’t keep track of it. So I just sit in his office while he talks on the phone or writes emails or pulls in someone from the hallway for a totally unrelated discussion and plot ways to destroy him professionally while I wait.

    • Senior Attorney

      How about bringing something else to work on while he is taking these little power-play recesses from your meeting? Maybe a document to review or a case to read? And I wouldn’t bother to hide what I was doing — in fact, I might make a point of letting him know I’m on to his little game and prepared for it!

      • Meeting etiquette

        This — thank you! I like the idea of showing I have other things to do as well and won’t be thrown off by his game.

    • Ketchup

      A couple of thoughts…

      1. If he gets on the phone while you’re there, I would mouth, “I’ll come back” and pop your head in later and say, “Are you available now?” If he goes over your time say that you have another call/meeting and you need to go. If he pops in your office to talk about things after ditching you during your regularly scheduled time say that you’re busy, “Oh I am sorry, I actually have a call I need to get onto. Are you available at 3?” If it is a counseling type discussion, scheduling off site will keep interruptions to a minimum
      2. If he’s much more senior and is super busy and is not an a*hole about other things, cut him some slack. It maybe that he’s so comfortable with you and is trying to catch up on some quick things because that’s the only time he has available. I’m guilty of this sometime, but that doesn’t mean I don’t respect you or your time. A million things are going on and we’re all trying to do them all at once and sometimes it takes a few mins to focus on what’s at hand. Point is don’t take it personally unless you’re sure he only treats you that way.

      • Meeting etiquette

        Thanks — The problem with (1) is his phone is on a desk along the wall, so his back to me when he does this. (2) He is difficult to deal with and its well known among attorneys here. I’m sure he does this to others as well.

    • Bluejay

      It sure sounds like a power play to me. I’d stand up and leave, and if he pulls it a second time after he comes and gets you, interrupt him, say you have a meeting in 10 minutes so you’ll have to go now, and take yourself out for coffee. Sheesh, what a jerk.

      • Bluejay

        Alternately, next time he asks for a meeting, email him back and say you’ve reserved a conference room and you’ll see him there at the scheduled time.

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