ByKat Hours Updated
Comments 397 Comments

Wednesday’s Workwear Report: Cardigan Sweater Dress

This post may contain affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices. This dress isn't my usual style at all, but I love that it's such a wearable take on the double-breasted trend that's everywhere right now. Most double-breasted dresses I'm seeing are unfortunately super super short — so I like that this dress is decidedly longer. I also like that it's a knit, which seems like it's going to be muuuuuch more comfortable and easy to wear than a suiting fabric, all the while tapping into the knit blazer trend. (I'd still wear a slip underneath it like this $29 one.) The dress comes in the black version pictured as well as a white version; it's available in sizes 14-28 for $119.95 at Eloquii. Cardigan Sweater Dress Two options in regular sizes are from Calvin Klein and Alexia Admor. This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support! Seen a great piece you’d like to recommend? Please e-mail tps@corporette.com.

Sales of note for 3/15/25:

  • Nordstrom – Spring sale, up to 50% off
  • Ann Taylor – 40% off everything + free shipping
  • Banana Republic Factory – 40% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Eloquii – 50% off select styles + extra 50% off sale
  • J.Crew – Extra 30% off women's styles + spring break styles on sale
  • J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything + extra 20% off 3 styles + 50% off clearance
  • M.M.LaFleur – Friends and family sale, 20% off with code; use code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – 40% off 1 item + 30% off everything else (includes markdowns, already 25% off)

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

397 Comments

  1. How to gage when to speak up on a client call or a call with opposing counsel if you are the associate, and the partner is the primary contact? I’m relatively new to the firm and so far have kept myself silent throughout the calls, but flagged things I want to point out on post-it notes to the partner. However, I also come from a culture where speaking up is not encouraged. I also don’t want to make a mistake and jeopardize anything by accident.

    1. I’ll let with more direct experience speak to this, but I would just ask the partner before the call what role he anticipates you having on the call. Or, when I sent the follow-up notes in an email, I would ask if I should bring it up on the call next time, or continue listening and flagging.

    2. Talk to he partner and ask. Personally, I rarely want someone else to pipe up when I’m talking to opposing counsel, but a client call may be different. That said, you should be aligned ahead of time.

    3. All good advice. Being silent on this kind of call, particularly when primary lawyer is also on the call, is often appropriate. I used to feel like I had to speak up to add value or somehow justify my inclusion, but have learned that sometimes my value is in hearing things first hand to avoid making the primary lawyer spend double time to de-brief me, and also in being a second set of ears to make sure the team picked up everything.

    4. If I thought the partner was overlooking something or had something to add that I hadn’t previously discussed with them, if in person for the call I’d mouth “can we go on mute for a sec?” so that I could preview the point to the partner, and then let them take the lead.

    5. As I’ve become more senior, I’ve stopped caring whether I’m stepping on someone’s toes by speaking up or even interrupting where needed. If I think something is important then it’s important. I try to talk to the partner ahead of time to let them know we should cover topics ABC during the call and I’m happy to lead as to those points. But sometimes it’s not possible, or the call goes in a different direction than planned, and I don’t hesitate to chime in.

      OP, you say you’re new to the firm but you don’t say what year you are. If you’re a junior associate then you’re probably not expected to speak up, but ime once you hit year 4 or 5, people, especially men, will ding you for not speaking up if needed. I agree with the others that it’s best to talk to the partners before the call to understand their expectations. My best mentors have always given me a chance to speak during calls.

    6. Before the call, speak to the partner. Usually my boss will say “I’ll take the lead on this” and I just take notes, but sometimes if I’m more familiar with the file, he’ll say “feel free to jump in” or even “you take the lead, I’m here for backup.” Also, if he’s talking and I really need to say something, I gesture for him to mute the phone and tell him. This was common practice at my firm as well.

      1. Your boss is sensible. My boss loves:

        1. “you take the lead on this” before the call but then he ends up doing all the talking; or

        2. “Elle will run us through these points” without warning once we are already on the call and he hasn’t told me this is what we would do.

        1. “I am just going to intro rosie who will talk about xyz, and while we’re at it, let me just explain xyz and give all my thoughts about it.”

          2. as the client, I assume partners do this to rack up time. It is annoying and I remember that when I’m picking a firm for my next project.

    7. I know that part of this is particular to my working relationship, but my Boss and I have an almost constant slack convo going on, so it’s easy enough for me to message him in real time like “hey the K actually doesn’t say that” and sometimes, “mind if I jump in to correct?” then he can give me the thumbs up to say something or say it himself, but I know if he acknowledges and says nothing, it’s not because he missed it, but because he decided not to say something. TL;DR, backchannel slack solves this for me.

    8. If you’re junior you probably don’t know when or why to speak up. You probably think it’s about giving the right answer and you desperately want to make sure the right answer is given and prove your worth. That’s wrong and a junior perspective. Stay quiet if that’s all you got to offer. (What is it really about??? Building confidence of the clients team or building the leverage of certain people on the call, making people trust and respect you. I seriously doubt you have those skills yet.)

  2. Is a white boyfriend blazer appropriate for work and if so, how would you style it? Bought one at the end of last summer on super sale from J Crew and it’s just sitting in my closet waiting to be worn

    2. Why would it not be appropriate for work? What is your dress code? It might be a little on the casual side for a business formal situation, but otherwise… go for it.

      1. I was worried too casual, and also not sure if it looks best with a pencil skirt vs pants. Dress code is in between business formal and business casual, but unfortunately there’s a huge range for women from way too casual to a step under suits.

    4. Somewhat surprisingly, my white blazer gets the most use of any item in my wardrobe in the summer. I pretty much wear it with anything, but goes best with navy skirt or pants and a bright top.

    5. I’m wearing one today with navy long flared pants and navy silk blouse with big green and white polka dots.

  3. I am trying to figure out a So Cal vacation place for mid June. My family lives in orange county and we usually stay there, but this time I’d like to do something different. I was thinking of getting a beach house in Santa Monica or Malibu for a few days. Our group would have four kids ages 2 to 7. Any ideas or tips?

    2. My vote is for Santa Monica. The beach is always fun, the pier would be great for kids, there’s 3rd street, and lots of cool restaurants and cafes to check out that are friendly family. Malibu seems like a higher price point with fewer family friendly options in my opinion. Plus, I think SM is more walkable than Malibu which may be a factor if you have a large group.

    4. As a South Bay native, my tip to you is that LA at the beach in June is probably going to have June Gloom, which is a thick bank of fog called the Marine Layer which is common from May-July, in the morning. Some days this burns off quickly, many other days it does not. If you want full sunny days, move the trip to August :)

      Cosign that the Strand in Manhattan Beach is super-fun. You might look into staying at the Beach House in Hermosa. Also, Terranea in Palos Verdes is lovely (but more remote). Again–June Gloom though–you’ve been warned!

      1. +1 on the June gloom. You are quite likely to be cold at the beach in June! I’d do the desert in June — I love the Omni Rancho Las Palmas in Rancho Mirage. You can take your kids up to the snow on the aerial tramway, which is super fun.

        And also? Terranea is divine but very expensive!

        1. Yeah this. May/June is one of the worst times to visit LA if you want to beach. I ditto Palm Springs. Omni is really nice (and well-priced). Ritz is also nice but less well-priced.

      2. Ha! Another SoCal beach city native chiming in to agree with this 100%. It can honestly be so foggy sometimes that it’s almost raining….

        If you want to “risk” it with the beach weather, I would go with Manhattan/Hermosa Beach or Terranea (if you want a resort – beautiful pool, etc) over Santa Monica or Malibu.

  4. Last call on the 2 Boden blouses and BCBG blazer! If I sent you pictures you are first in line, but I am donating things at the end of the week so LMK if you would like me to send them to you! :)

    1. I’m going to a recipe party this weekend, where I need to bring something made with cream cheese. I’m drawing a blank as to what to make. Any favorite recipes involving cream cheese? (I’m not a serious cook, so ideally nothing with 100 steps)

      1. If you eat meat, a buffalo chicken dip is a good and easy way to incorporate cream cheese into something.

      3. No bake cheesecake. Mix cream cheese with some powdered sugar and a little milk. Beat with electric mixer (hand or stand) until fluffy. Spread into premade graham cracker shell (or shortcake cookie shell. I like this better but not all grocery stores stock it) top with canned cherry pie filling and refrigerate until you’re ready to eat it (at least an hour but could be a day or two so you can make in advance) easiest dessert ever. You can do different variations topped with different fruit or do chocolate with an Oreo crust

      5. Mix cream cheese with mayo, shallot or spring onion, and your choice of crab meat or white beans. Put it in a small baking dish. Dig out a well in the center, and fill the well with prepared sweet and sour or sriracha sauce. Bake for around half an hour at 350. Garnish with chopped green onion. Serve with rice crackers.

        It’s the Midwestern party dip version of those crab things you get at Chinese buffets and way more delicious than it ought to be.

      6. Pineapple Cream Cheese Ball

        2 8 oz packages of cream cheese, softened
        1 small (8 oz? it’s the little flat can) of crushed pineapple, VERY WELL DRAINED!!!
        1 regular-sized package of French vanilla pudding mix (you can also substitute coconut cream pudding mix, which is delicious in this recipe!)
        chopped nuts or shredded coconut

        Combine cream cheese, pineapple, and dry pudding mix and form into a ball. Roll in chopped nuts or coconut (or both!) and chill. Serve with cinnamon graham crackers.

      7. Cream cheese is in a lot of creamy broccoli and cauliflower recipes if you’re looking for something different. Those are usually one casserole dish and not too many steps. On the dip front, don’t overlook spinach and artichoke dip :)

    2. Diana, I did not email you but would love the blouses. It is dianabarry at the g mail? If no one else has claimed.

    3. I love love love the sound of the blazer. I have a couple questions – can I email you?

    4. I’m not in the market for your items but want to say that I love that you are doing this! I gifted a pair of the EF supposed miracle pants (they are not miraculous for me sadly) to another ‘rette earlier this year and our short email correspondence was one of the bright spots in what was kind of a tough year for me. Hope you get some similarly great karma for your efforts.

  5. It really feels like there’s an inverse correlation between how incompetent a child is and their likelihood of being a parent’s favorite child.

    My mother won’t stop going on and on about how much potential my failure to launch half sister has if only she would apply herself. She’s also whiny, entitled and passive aggressive, all of which my mother has acknowledged. Meanwhile I provide stuff for my mother, empathize with her and put effort into helping half sister as appropriate, and on top of that am super successful career-wise, financially, and personally, all things she wants to help half sister become and doesn’t seem to care at all that I have become those things. A lot of this is complicated by the fact that she invested more time and energy (and money) into half sister when we were younger because she is the right man’s daughter. So I try not to be bitter about that but I am sometimes.

    I know I sound awful and my feelings right now are really self absorbed and focusing on me when a lot of this isn’t about me at all, and I wish I felt differently. I pour so much energy into being the bigger person- kind, thoughtful, etc but sometimes it just gets exhausting. I don’t want that to come out, so there’s nowhere else to put this but here. *sigh* Anyway… I’m tired of hearing how half sister is going to be president one day and maybe I could even be her assistant! and other ridiculous things.

    1. I think Carolyn Hax might support this theory. Whenever she gets letters from adult children whose siblings were obvious favorites, she points out that being a parent’s pet can be a huge disadvantage in life. They may end up with unrealistic senses of their own skills/talents, and never learning to fend for themselves in age-appropriate ways. No amount of your mom’s admiration changes the facts of your sister’s life, which sounds stunted.

      1. +1 – all the parents’ pets I know, including various relatives, are not well-adjusted adults, and the siblings of those people have suffered too. Hugs to you, OP, you sound kind-hearted and hardworking and generally awesome.

        1. “you sound kind-hearted and hardworking and generally awesome.”
          Thank you Vicky, It feels good to hear that, even if just from an internet stranger. I really want to hear it from my mom- like I don’t need help or anything to atone for the past. Just acknowledgement, appreciation, and good thoughts toward me would do it.

    2. Hugs. As I get older, I am more and more amazed by the range of awful parenting I see (and that gets carried into adult children’s lives). And more and more not-fully-launched grownups.

    3. This was definitely true most of my life. I was the high-achieving older sibling; getting good grades and having good behaviour was just expected of me and not met with extra praise. My younger sibling was (is) a giant mess and he was the favourite. My parents seem to have woken up to the reality of the situation in recent years, however. I hope things get better for you.

      1. Same here, although my parents never woke up to the reality even though they are now in their mid-90s and I am the one who is taking care of all their affairs. And they wonder why I handle their physical and business needs but don’t dote on them like they always doted on my deadbeat brother…

    5. Oh that’s so obnoxious, I’m sorry. I can’t believe your mom said you could be sister’s assistant. Gross. Until I got to that part of your post, I was going to say that I think I’m the half sister in your story. My older sibling is almost 20 years older, our mom was very young and didn’t have the means to provide very well for sibling, so sibling was pretty much on their own. I know they’re resentful that my parents were able to pay for college, not to mention childhood activities that sibling wanted but didn’t get. Sibling scoffs at my mistakes and my complaints about stress or anxiety (like exclaiming, “You don’t have a family to feed!” when I confided I was having a hard time in high school). Back then, I think sibling would’ve described me as whiny and entitled.

      Everyone has to run their own race. Maybe sister is immature and bratty but hopefully she’ll get through it someday.
      When that day comes, you’ll be able to have a real relationship with her – the kind of relationship my sibling and I don’t have because they didn’t suck it up and play nice like you have. And also – it sounds like a lot of your complaints are with your mom. It’s not sister’s fault that your mom says dumb stuff or that mom spent more time and money on her. Credit and blame where they’re due – don’t fault sister for mom’s mistakes. Give yourself permission to take a break from these people when it gets to be too much.

      1. To be fair to my mom, I don’t think she has a ton of awareness and just feels the need to promote half sister, so I don’t think she meant anything by the “you could be her assistant” thing, but obnoxious nonetheless.

        Not faulting sister for mom’s mistakes has been a bit of a journey for me, and I think I’m doing much better than I have previously. That said, I feel like a lot of the entitled attitude is an outgrowth of being spoiled. It’s hard to not be irritated at her when she’s bratty. For reference, she’s 21 and I’m 30. Mom acknowledges a lot of the things sister needs to do differently, but ultimately she excuses it one way or another, and I’m so tired of it!

        I travel a lot for work and flew my mom out this week to the vacation destination where I’m working (hotel on the beach) Work load is light so I can spend some time with her. all she wants to talk about is sister. I have to have a conversation about that this evening. It’s making me feel like my purpose is as an accessory to my sister’s advancement. Anyone want to help with a script?

        1. Would you be happier if you disengaged from your mother a bit? Flying your mom out to visit while you work sounds pretty intense. Perhaps a little more distance would give you some breathing room.

          1. Maybe. My spending time with her is kind of a new development, and this is the 2nd time I’ve flown her out somewhere. The first time we had a good time. I spent many years avoiding her and almost not speaking for unrelated issues and that didn’t make me happy. I do think she means well and is just preoccupied with how to deal with her delinquent child, which isn’t unreasonable. I just wish it didn’t come across as though I’m totally irrelevant. She has become quite receptive to hearing things like this recently, so I think I can bring it up and we’ll have a good discussion.

          2. This is where I would naturally go as well. Therapy in my mid-20s helped a LOT with understanding and really accepting that my mom was going to be X person regardless of the fact that what I really needed (as a daughter) was Y support. It sounds simple but really truly believing that she loved/s me the best way she can made a world of difference. It took a lot of tears to get there, though, and plenty of guidance from a neutral third party to point out that my expectations were completely fair (and that my mom’s behavior was out of line) but that she probably wasn’t going to change. Also, back to the original point, keeping a substantial distance between me and mom helped a lot while I was figuring out how to better navigate the adult child and mother relationship.

            Hugs, though. It’s really hard and really sucks. You are doing great. Keep being the bigger person to sister, it will most likely pay off in the long run.

          3. Similar situation. How do you emotionally distance yourselves without feeling guilt? And yes, I’m in therapy.

      2. Oh man, I’m a younger half sister by 20 years and I’ve had the same experience. I think my half sister totally resents me for things my father did/didn’t do during her childhood. We lived on opposite coasts and very rarely saw each other. I visited when I was in high school and was so shy because I didn’t know her that well. She told me I was being a rude brat and it I was so crushed by that. It pretty much killed any desire I had to want a better relationship with her.

    6. My mother’s favorite child did not lift a finger once as she declined in dementia from an intelligent woman, to an avetage woman, to being like a child, to being like a toddler, to unable to communicate, to living three months after the doctors thought she was functioning at brain stem level. Not once. Ever. Her hyper-criticized elder child did the hospital admittances, sat with her, toileted her, missed untold amounts of work, and went to court twice having not been to sleep the night before. Bratty spoiled favorites can go rot.

      1. My mom is playing this role right now (dementia and unhelpful siblings) and she’s just so tired. Her siblings are kind of like “Oh, (grandma) is just a little sick!” My grandma is literally in the hospital after three weeks of “if my mom calls at an odd hour it’s because she died.” I’m so irritated at them for making my mom do all this work. I’m sorry you had to do it all. I can see how completely draining it is.

      2. *laughs in misery* I just replied below with almost the same thing! Sad to see how common this BS is.

    7. I actually asked my mother about this several years ago – they seemed to talk about siblings more, give them more in time and money, give them more chances after they fail again and again. I asked, “why do you favor them, why haven’t you invested as much in me?” (context at the time was parents not paying for all four years of my college yet literally still paying into my sibling’s 7th year and beyond).

      She answered that she knows it doesn’t seem fair, and that they love us all equally, but that they put their resources where they are needed more. Her exact words were “you didn’t need our help, we knew you’d be fine, your siblings wouldn’t be ok without our help”. It simultaneously stung because they were very conscious of what they were doing, but also was a boost of confidence that they trusted me to do well even without them, that I was more capable. It sucked that I had to carry a higher burden (ex. graduating with loans after four years of school when siblings graduated as super super seniors with no debt) but she was right. I have been and was more than fine and am significantly younger but much more successful.

      Basic message: sometimes parents give based on equity not equality – what the sibling needs to get to the same place as the sibling that as natural talent or societal privileges that give them a leg up.

      1. I agree with this point and it totally sucks. Most of the time I don’t resent my parents for this but it still stings sometimes (and I’m in my late 30s!).

      2. I was actually coming here to say the same thing: “You didn’t need our help, we knew you’d be fine, your siblings wouldn’t be ok without our help.” This is pretty much the situation with me and my two younger siblings. I am the first person in my family to graduate from college, went on to law school, have a pretty successful career, financially in order, etc. And I really feel like my parents don’t care about my life AT ALL compared to my two younger siblings, who they do much more for. But this was basically the answer I got when I talked to my mom about it. That they don’t worry about me because I can take care of myself. (I also think to some extent, they feel like since I’ve “made it” I can help to give advice on how to help out younger siblings, like maybe I have some secret to success that my parents don’t know about.)

        But even knowing the reasoning doesn’t make it suck less. I’m sorry you’re feeling this. Internet hugs.

      3. I disagree with your last paragraph. The parents’ job isn’t to ensure that the siblings all end up in the same place, it’s to give each the support he or she needs and deserves to maximize his or her potential. An intelligent, motivated child has legitimate needs and shouldn’t just be left to fend for herself just because she is capable of making it on her own. On the other hand, a kid who takes seven years to get through college shouldn’t be there in the first place. The parents aren’t doing him a favor by paying to keep him there–they should be encouraging him to look into other options that would be a better fit and set him up for greater long-term success and independence. Maybe that sibling would be better off with an actual career in a trade than he would be with a college degree he earned by the skin of his teeth and a part-time job waiting tables while he lives in the parents’ basement.

        1. This. Assuming no disabilities or other medical issues, my view is that children should be treated equally and they can make of their opportunities what they will. Parents owe their children equality of opportunity to the extent possible, not equality of outcome.

          2. I used to feel this way but now I’m not so sure. Different kids have different needs, and “equal” and fair aren’t always the same thing. It’s all about tradeoffs. The tradoffs that are best for one kid might not be best for the other.

        2. I don’t disagree, just saying this is how a lot of parents approach life when they have limited time and money to make sure all their kids can fend for themselves. It’s a parenting choice that I personally don’t like because it didn’t benefit me, but it’s one I intellectually understand – your first goal as a parent is to get the kid self sufficient, then to get them to be the best they can be as a secondary goal. I was already self sufficient whereas my siblings literally would have been homeless drug addicted losers (I’m just being honest) without my parent’s support – and it worked, they are now self sufficient – they unfortunately needed several more years of parenting than me but they are all self sufficient. It’s easy to say “make kid do a trade, kick him out, he’ll land on his feet” if you’re not that kid’s parent, you don’t want to see them harmed. Plus, context matters – my family is partially mixed race and the outcomes of men of color especially without a college degree are atrocious – it would have been a death sentence for them not to get one.

        3. I don’t think there’s a hard and fast rule on this. Yeah, it seems unfair if you’re the talented, successful sibling. But different families get to make different decisions. I would really love to hear from *parents* who see this disparity in their own children about how they make that decision.

      4. I see this situation a lot with successful friends and their struggling siblings, and honestly one of the best things about my brother is he is equally as good at being a self-sufficient, successful adult as I am so our parents pretty much treat us equally. (We’re twins, which I think helped growing up).

      5. This has been my situation exactly. The standard response was “But, we don’t have to worry about you. We know you’ll be fine.” I am fine, but I do have a lot of resentment that my mess of a sister has been both emotionally and financially supported by my parents for years. BTW, I am the baby of the family and also the most successful, most ignored. It’s not always the youngest who’s the brat.

        1. OMG are you me (except I am the older sibling)?

          Me: does fine in school; gets job at Wal*mart in the summer
          Sibling: does adequately in school; can’t handle the stress of Wal*mart; gets sent on trip to Greece b/c she took history classes and “it is interesting to her”

          Um, history and travel were interesting to me, too. But I had no $, so I had to spend my summers working at Wal*mart (which made me a person who can just deal with people and stuff that is not awesome, which are super-important life skills and are probably the reason, in part, that I am a BigLaw equity partner now and she is in an hourly job). I still haven’t been to Greece though — now I have the $ for it and no time (I did finally get passports for my kids this year and maybe will get around to using them before they expire).

          1. haha. from reading this thread, there are many of us! I’m no longer resentful, and since having a kid I understand more, and learn to get my validation from places other than my mom. Also I heard 4th person through my hair dresser that my mom brags about me to her coworkers, I.was.shocked.

    8. I had a milder version of this with my younger sister. My mom definitely favored her forever. It was kind of hard for me to be with my mom and hear all about my younger sister all the time, though my sister is far from a f*ck-up, she is very successful.

      I just consoled myself that my mom also loved me, maybe not in the same way that she loved my sister, but she did love me. It boiled down to my little sister just being more like my mom in personality, so my mom always saw herself in sis, while she saw more of my dad in me, and she’s not wrong. So sis was living a life my mom might have been able to make for herself if she hadn’t lived in the era and upbringing she did, where being a wife and mother was the highest goal.

      My mom is dead now so I’m glad I spent the time with her that I did (which is far more than my sister did, but bygones) and I don’t have any regrets. It took a long time to make peace with this, but a big part of it was accepting my mother as an imperfect person with issues of her own.

    9. You’re not alone. Even deeply entrenched in Alzheimer’s, my mother-in-law continues to insist that her oldest son is the bee’s knees (he’s 44, never left home, and has not worked a day in his life). MIL sometimes literally forgets that her youngest son, my husband, exists. My husband is the one who has spent the last decade driving her everywhere, doing all her errands and home repairs, doing all her medical and legal legwork, and driving himself into (actual hospitalized) exhaustion trying to make sure his brother doesn’t become homeless after MIL is gone. My ILs are a pack of utter garbage people.

    10. Oh my gosh, I can sympathize with the OP and the commenters so, so much. I’ve always thought it was an oldest vs youngest child thing, but maybe it’s more of a “squeaky wheel gets the grease” thing. I have a lot of resentment towards my younger sibling.

      1. I think sometimes I can be that. I also think sometimes it’s the opposite–the invisikid learns not to be a squeaky wheel and grease themselves because the parents will always treat the other sibling like the squeaky wheel. My mother spent my whole life telling me how “independent” I was when really I felt like the furthest thing from it, but it was a role I was forced to play and eventually adopted.

        Squeaky wheels may be similar. You’re told how needy you are, and help is thrust upon you at every angle, and after years of halted emotional development and frozen maturity, you become the squeaky wheel. It’s hard to say. I try to have sympathy for squeaky wheels to a point, because they’re deprived of valuable life experiences to help them grow because of a parent’s selfish desire to play savior. But at the same time, just like I, as a non-squeaky wheel who also came out with some less than cherished personality traits, have to work on myself, squeaky wheels also need to do the same.

        1. “wheel who also came out with some less than cherished personality traits”

          What do you mean by this? In addition to all the above, I had a really rough childhood whereas half sister had two parents in a comfortable, nice, loving home. I was caught in the middle of parental fighting, mom cheating and walking out, and really not paying any attn to me and leaving to play house with new boyfriend and starting a new family. Dad raised me, didn’t have much money etc. I think that experience was great for my development, but it’s also hardened me and made me a little more rough around the edges than sister. I feel like no one loves me bc of that in addition to everything else.

    11. Wow, this whole thread is amazing. I could have written lots of the posts (replies and OP) pretty much word for word. It feels good to know that lots of us are in the same situation.

  6. Looking for recommendations for comfortable, cool, modest, moderately stylist travel clothes. Additionally, any favorite travel sandals that can be worn on light hikes but also look decent when dressed up slightly?

    I’m traveling to a very hot, humid destination (90+ degrees, 80%+ humidity) in three weeks and will be at the beginning of my second trimester (don’t expect to be showing). The destination is also conservatively religious, so will require reasonably modest dress. I’m already sensitive to heat and humidity (and will be taking all precautions, like hotels with A/C and pools, lots of water, sun protection, etc. etc.), so I would love advice on comfortable, cool, modest, yet still somewhat stylist clothing.

    2. Cool and modest to me involves light colors and fabrics (so when I go to India it’s khaki colored clothes, linen, etc. Maxi dresses in light colors, while off-trend in the US, would probably work well (but be on the look out for too much shoulder exposure).

      1. +1 If you are worried about too much shoulder exposure, a linen wrap or pashmina tied or draped over your shoulders would be appropriate but not too stifling.
        I would bring a pair of basic black sandals as well as a pair of hiking shoes. I have never found a substitute that does either particularly well. (Also, my hiking shoes provide lateral support…travel sandals make me feel like I’m constantly slipping.)

    3. Parent favoritism is the worst. My mom favors my sister because she will engage in the same credit card debt funded shopping sprees and overeating followed by crash dieting. Meanwhile I’m chugging along in a fiscally responsible manner taking reasonable care of my health but mom can’t relate to that at all. sigh.

    4. Check out Travel Fashion Girl…the site’s recommendations are location and culturally-specific.

    5. The blog Travel Fashion Girl has lots of packing ideas for different destinations.

    6. I have a strong preference for long dresses over pants, but yes to linen. Depending on where you’re going and the level of conservative, you can look at midi length dresses rather than full length — I’ve found that having some circulation around my legs makes a big difference. And then, counterintuitively, I find that a pair of skimmies type shorts underneath really enhances my comfort. Another nice thing about dresses is that you’re likely to have some flexibility around your belly, depending on how much you’re growing in the next few weeks. Big floaty scarves are always helpful – you can cover your hair as needed, shoulders, bundle up when you come in from the heat to the freezing AC, etc.

      You can also shop when you get there — almost everywhere I’ve been has had cheap-ish spots tailored to travelers who want to buy something to wear while they’re there, and it doubles as a souvenir.

    7. My experience is in a different environment (Levant, so generally less humidity — I’m guessing you’re going to Indonesia/Malaysia or similar), but I recommend maxi dresses/skirts + a lightweight long-sleeved top. You probably know this but: flowy, loose clothing is your friend for high heat (and also high humidity). Anything that rubs will chafe. Also loose = more modest.

      In the States, you’re unlikely to find a maxi dress with long (or even elbow length) sleeves, which is typically the minimum you need for modest dress. If you can find maxi dresses with a high neck (collarbone), you can often put a loose lightweight jacket or button up shirt over the top. This might sound weird, but I was able to find some tunic style tops that were intended to be swimsuit cover-ups that worked well. IME, you want the top to be loose, especially in the sleeves, so that it feels less constricting and breathes better.

      There are often “boho” style full-ish skirts that work well, look for one with sort of a wide waistband that you’d be able to adjust to sit wherever’s comfortable (which might be important in the second trimester). The downside is that these typically look more casual and less polished, so might not meet your “moderately stylish” criterion.

      Depending on where exactly you’re going, loose pants might also be an option. Note that if you’re visiting any religious sites or going to rural areas, pants are less of a good idea IME. But if you’re hiking, loose pants in a technical (outdoor activity) type material are more likely to be acceptable, esp for areas with lots of tourists.

      Finally, if you’re spending a good bit of time there, it may be worth just bringing an outfit or two and then planning to do some shopping. Typically you can buy local clothing at a very reasonable price, and it’s easier to find things that fit the local norms. But if you got less than a week (or two) there — or a very packed schedule — this is less of an option.

      Hope this is helpful! I will try to find some examples and put them in a follow-up comment.

      1. Dress option — obviously since this is sleeveless you’d need a topper.
        https://www.macys.com/shop/product/tommy-hilfiger-striped-tie-front-maxi-shirtdress?ID=8169624&pla_country=US

        Possible jacket — I think this could work with the dress above, but it’s hard to tell how heavy it is and how it would hit. You probably want to try them on together.
        https://www.macys.com/shop/product/charter-club-linen-jacket-created-for-macys?ID=6939323&pla_country=US
        (Last time I was in Jordan, I had something like this but in light green, and I lived in it. Again, the key is lightweight + loose)

    8. Sandals to hike in that also look ok dressed up is a tall order but what about these:
      https://shop.nordstrom.com/s/naot-sabrina-sandal-women/3921649?country=US&currency=USD&mrkgcl=760&mrkgadid=3313960046&utm_content=9383573633&utm_term=pla-319830556772&utm_channel=shopping_ret_p&sp_source=google&sp_campaign=645528200&rkg_id=0&adpos=1o1&creative=57187812113&device=c&matchtype=&network=g&gclid=CjwKCAjwqLblBRBYEiwAV3pCJjbE3CSEIoToiHdeo3CFM-SBBWGNP8Z7cdMJ94jjw5OHCJNtZdzBBBoCqJUQAvD_BwE

      For travel clothing I would look at Royal Robbins. https://www.royalrobbins.com/collections/womens

    9. One note that isn’t clothing related – I take a pack of those grapefruit scented neutrogena face wipes whenever I travel somewhere hot. Great for wiping sweat/dirt off my face and neck, and the fact that its moist means I feel a lot cooler on my skin.

  7. I’m trying to streamline my grocery routine so I can go no more than twice a week, but I have a question about buying meat. According to the FDA, ground beef should be eaten within two days, but if I want to shop on Monday, how do I save beef until Friday? I’ve sometimes frozen and defrosted it, but it seems a little silly. The other option is to buy a bunch at once and freeze it all, I guess, but I wonder what others are doing.

    1. Eh, I live on the edge and generally follow the packaging date and store it in a really cold part of the fridge (or the outside fridge which doesn’t get opened nearly as much). But, if you want to follow the FDA guidelines, then either plan your meals so that the ground beef is used first, shop more often, or freeze/thaw. Or, for something that can be pre-made, like taco meat, cook it and then store the cooked product since that lasts 3-4 days.

    2. I go to the grocery store once a week. I just freeze whatever meat I’m cooking later in the week for a couple of days and move to the fridge the day before I want to use it.

    3. I usually meal prep on the weekends and have never had any issues eating meat over 2 days old. If it’s something that makes you grossed out, buy meat, cook half of it one day, then freeze the other half. A day before you need more meat, defrost the meat. I have a deep freezer so I stock up on meat at good prices, and will just pick meat to defrost 1 or 2 days before I want to cook it. You could also batch cook it all, and freeze cooked meat.

    4. If you’re going twice a week, why do you need to save anything for five days? Don’t buy the beef on Monday; go shopping again on Thursday or Friday and buy the beef then.

    5. Meal plan so it doesn’t sit in the fridge for a week? I think you’re making this overly complicated for yourself.

      1. It’s not just beef, though. It’s the same thing with fresh salmon and other meat. We don’t eat meat at every meal, but I’m trying to figure out how all these people who shop once a week or less are keeping meat fresh.

        2. Day one – shop and eat salmon
          Day two – eat ground beef
          Day three – eat vegetarian meal
          Day four – shop and eat fish
          Day five – eat meat
          Day six – eat vegetarian
          Day seven – eat vegetarian

        3. I freeze all my meat and then defrost the night before. For fresh salmon, it will keep for a day in the fridge before I use it. Or buy frozen salmon. I get the individually sealed ones at Whole Foods.

      2. +1 I’ll buy ground turkey or pork on Sunday and cook it all that day to portion out for dinners over the week. I’ll make two kinds of meatballs so we don’t get bored. I think cooked meatballs can last in the fridge 3-4 days, and we always eat them by then. So Sunday through Wednesday we have meatball dinners, and then Thursday is pasta, and Friday is take out.

    6. Sorry, I don’t necessarily have useful advice since I don’t actually eat meat, this is just one of those questions that reminds me of how different different people’s routines are. I try to put off grocery shopping to more like every two weeks. I do cook in bulk and freeze a lot, though, and most of the rest of my food comes from pantry staples (grains and beans) or the freezer, plus things that last for much longer in the fridge (fruits, veggies, and dairy). I also assume that meat that isn’t ground lasts a little longer than two days?

    7. I buy meat in bulk when it goes on sale. Freeze small portions in freezer paper plus plastic bag. Clearly label the outside. It works great for things like chicken — I will buy a giant package of boneless pieces and divide up according to likely use — some pounded thin for things like piccata, some cubed for kabobs or stews, some trimmed and pounded for the grill. You have to think ahead a little to put in the fridge and thaw the night before, but you can also defrost in warm water the day of.

    8. 1. meal plan so you use the ground beef on the same day you buy it

      or
      2. buy in bulk and stock up on better quality ground beef (we buy organic at costco), every couple months and freeze in meal portions.

    9. You’re making this too difficult – use your freezer, that’s what it’s for. Why is it silly to freeze something for two or three days?
      Also, if you have the space – shop sales and only restock when you run out. I have an absurd amount of salmon and chicken frozen because it was on sale three bucks off per pound. That will lighten your load considerably knowing you have X at home so your grocery trips are only to restock items in intervals.

      Fruit and veggies keep for at least a week in the fridge, so I have no idea what you’re buying twice a week.

    10. I buy ground beef and ground turkey in 1 lb packages. If I was going to buy it on Monday, I would put it in the freezer. Then put it in the fridge to defrost on Thursday night so you can use it for Friday dinner.

    11. Honestly, I don’t buy ground beef unless I really want to make hamburgers, and if so I buy it the day of. You’re much less at risk with other types of meat. Otherwise, freeze and thaw.

    12. I always go by the date on the package and have never had a problem. So I just buy the one with the date that’s far away. I’m not sure why buying it and transporting it home would make the “sell by” date invalid. I do eat or freeze it by that day or the day after.

      1. Same. Those little cubes that are vacuum packed have use by dates much farther than a week out. I buy those (as I try to only buy grass fed beef and this is how it is available at my Safeway)

      2. This.
        Also — esp. in summer here (SEUS) I bring an insulated bag or carrier and chemical ice in my car esp. for the meats and dairy things. The less temperature variation, the better, but the date on the package is ok, and the USE BY date is ok, too.

        Also — I think they’re talking about raw ground beef, right? So why not cook it, and then have the cooked beef available for next ~3 days in fridge? You don’t have to shop, cook and eat the same day. You can cook it and THEN add it to meals, or freeze it again, or whatever.

      3. Yeah, same here. Date on the package. We don’t eat meat every day but I don’t shop more than once a week. I think the earlier date is because they don’t know how it’s being transported/stored after it leaves the store, but just be smart about storage and use your nose. If it’s off, you’ll know.

    13. For ground meats – I prepare it in whatever form I want then freeze the portion I can’t eat in a couple of days. For example, I usually have meatballs (cooked) and hamburger patties (raw) in my freezer. I prefer to cook meatballs before freezing so I can throw them into lunches and reheat at the office.

    14. You freeze it, duh.

      Or realize that those FDA guidelines don’t need to be followed precisely and use your best judgment about whether meat has gone bad. Smell it.

      1. Yeah, FDA guidelines are meant for absolute near certainty that you will have no risk of contaminated/spoiled food and not get sick. It’s what you follow for restaurants (when you have liability risk) and maybe chemo patients whose immune systems are severely weakened. In general, your best judgment will do. Freeze it if you’re really worried.

    15. What on earth? Since when do we have to eat ground beef within two days? I guess it’s a miracle I’m still alive.

    16. This is really a silly question. Buy meat whenever you want to, freeze it, and then simply defrost it before you plan to use it. You own a freezer, I presume. That’s what it’s for.

  8. I posted a few weeks ago about taking updated photos to reflect my current short hair while struggling with low self-esteem after gaining 10 kg from a medicine I am taking. I booked my photoshoot for this Friday and will update my photos on all documents by Monday. I picked a package where I get to where 2 different looks with portrait and body shots. Wish me luck!

    4. Yay, I bet you’ll be beautiful!

      (I wish there were a way to time-machine myself with photos. Every time I look back at photos where I’ve been like “ugh” right after they’ve taken… after a few years I’m like “wait wtf I was so cute!”)

  9. Texas is debating the death penalty for women who have abortions. How very “pro-life.” Is it too soon to drink?

    1. I feel like no one is talking about all these new horrifying abortion regulations (there is just SO much horrifying stuff in the news) and it scares me. There’s a quote from the TV version of The Handmaid’s Tale I think about all the time…”We let it happen.”

      1. I was so scarred from reading The Handmaid’s Tale in high school that I have not watched the show.

        What has remained with me is the narrator’s description at the beginning of how women’s rights were curtailed incrementally so that they almost did not notice and then suddenly it was too late.

        Canadian anti-choice groups have been more active lately, which is disturbing, but it is nothing like what is happening in the US. I am legitimately scared for American women.

        1. Ugh. I guess now is the time for my husband and me to start thinking about getting our daughter out of the U.S.

          1. No it isn’t. This is a proposed bill that probably won’t pass and cannot be enforced. These silly overly dramatic reactions just highlight how privileged you are.

          3. See the Handmaid’s Tale comment below, and recall that Kavanaugh was confirmed.

          5. Or move states? Abortion will always be legal and accessible in very blue states like Massachusetts and California, and that’s way less dramatic than moving abroad.

          6. I mean, if you can get on a plane should you need to, this all seems a bit dramatic.

        2. Same. It’s so easy to tune out and say “I need a break from politics!” While our rights are chipped away. It’s so disheartening.

          That being said, all women have to know about misoprostol. You can have a safe, 85% effective abortion at home and no one has to know. While it freaking sucks that we have to consider this option (just like women in countries where abortion is illegal), it’s better than not knowing it exists and having a baby you don’t want. Check out Women on Waves or Plan C for more info and most importantly, spread the word.

          1. It only works in the first ten weeks, and it’s not legal to order it online and take it yourself. So while it’s great that those options are available, currently, in the U.S., they are not legal. Just trying to point out that these state laws still matter a lot (which I think you agree with, just saying!).

          2. It works beyond ten weeks (although the risk increases and I’m not saying I condone it) and I don’t care if it’s not legal. I care about women knowing about misoprostol precisely because abortion in all forms may become illegal.

      2. And curtailing our economic prospects by burdening us with raising children we can’t afford.

    3. Is this really seriously happening (like a whole bunch of people in the Texas legislature working out how to make this happen)? Or is it hyperbole? Or just one person throwing things out there?

      I have a theory that people have so much outrage fatigue that people work in a lot more hyperbole than situations really warrant.

      [Meanwhile, in my state, kids in both urban and rural public schools have been viciously beaten by other children and b/c of privacy laws, parents don’t even know what is happening with the offender and how their kid will be safe, how other kids will be safe; one girl nearby died after a classroom incident and she was only in 5th grade. 5th grade! Maybe it’s just reporting more and things are happening at the same rate, but an actual dead child is not an OK risk for me. So this is what consumes me. Actual bad stuff affecting schools my children actually (for now) attend.]

      2. One person who has been married five times, and pro-life groups and everyone else dislikes it.

        1. OK — doesn’t sound like something to be alarmed about.

          I have a kid with anxiety. We try to reframe things that are *possible* to happen as whether or not they are *likely* to happen. This doesn’t sound like it is likely to happen.

          1. Do you all understand how close we are to a repeal of roe?

            Once that’s gone it’s up the states how to criminalize ab@rtion. Don’t kid yourselves.

          2. Since Kavanaugh was appointed, red states have been pushing anti-abortion bills like crazy. They want it to get to the supreme court so Roe will get overturned. Its extremely likely.

          3. With advances in viability, it would not surprise me that abortion is moved back to before 20 weeks only, which I would be OK with since week timing can be variable and viability is down to something like 22 weeks and even <2 pounds. But I do not get the "abortion until 40 weeks" nonsense that I saw in VA recently — that makes people seem strident and crazy on the other side.

            I'd be more concerned about finding doctors willing to perform the procedure (and if not doctors, who exactly?) or if some day they'd just all be medically-done/prescription-only (so no doctors unless you spiked a fever and something seemed to go very wrong).

          4. Live in Indiana, can confirm, all the congressmen here are salivating at the chance to be That Guy Who Overturns Roe and Saves All the Babies (While Controlling and Punishing Women).

          5. Roe isn’t a statute, so it can’t technically be repealed. It is a case and cases just get overturned, but there is a lot of precedential weight in a SCT precedent. It has already been narrowed and viability/medical advances will likely define how much further it may get narrowed (I don’t think it would ever go the way of other now-disregarded SCT cases). And if it gets overturned/narrowed, many states have constitutions that are more liberal on this than the US Constitution, so I am not very concerned that an actual Handmaid’s Tale scenario happens (e.g., New Jersey, a state so fiercely protective of your right to privacy that you have a protectable expectation of privacy IN YOUR TRASH).

          6. Anonymous at 11:19 – 20 weeks is an important threshold for genetic testing for life-threatening or debilitating conditions. Less than 2 percent of abortions happen after that point and they are generally very wanted pregnancies. An arbitrary ban of post 20 weeks makes no sense and it’s cruel to force a woman to carry a doomed pregnancy to term, or be forced to deliver a child that will live a short and painful life.

      3. “Actual bad stuff” is happening to women too – but I know you already know that.

        1. I mean, like what, exactly. Other countries stone adulterers. Actually. Like today. And imprison dissidents. And disappear people. And there is FGM (which does happen here — that to me is an outrage but until we crack down on parental authority / ability of doctors to do that and still have medical licenses), I think we forget what bad stuff is sometimes.

          1. Like poor women not being able to afford to take time off work and drive across the state for an abortion at the one available provider. Like women dying at the hands of men while the Violence Against Women Act gets treated like a political football. Like women undergoing abortions who are forced to endure invasive, unnecessary transvaginal ultrasounds to satisfy the misogynistic demands of right-wing and religious zealots. Like children being raised in dangerous environments because their parents did not want them and cannot care for them. Like women, especially black women, dying in childbirth from preventable causes because we lack the political will and the interest in saving their lives. Women and children are dying here too. Should I go on?

          2. The poor women traveling thing — that is true even though it is legal. I can see why no one wants to be in that business. I think to the extent that people don’t live in big cities near large bodies of water this is a problem (TBH, it is true for many types of medical care — my parents live in a rural area and had to drive far enough to require a stay overnight when my dad was undergoing chemo).

          3. FGM on kids is done in the US. Pretty sure it is illegal (so passing laws won’t help with the practice). How do you win over hearts and minds on this??? [Maybe let the kid sue? Does anything else ever motivate people to do the right thing???]

            Human trafficking (also illegal though). Thanks Bob Kraft!!! Patriots cheat!!!

      4. Here is a bad thing: R. Kelly is bring prosecuted in Chicago. Should we be concerned that R. Kelly will just be let go with a slap on the wrist, if that? It doesn’t seem to be a prosecutor’s office that is . . . well-run and this case should be a slam dunk.

    4. No comment on the content of the bill (other than it’s a statement bill that has no chance of passing), I lol’ed when the Washington Post just through in there casually that the representative of the bill has been married five times (i.e. hypocrite much when it comes to upholding the covenants of the Bible).
      “The legislation is the brainchild of state Rep. Tony Tinderholt, a Republican from Arlington, Tex., who was placed under state protection because of death threats he received when he first introduced the bill in 2017. The Air Force veteran, who has been married five times, argues…”

      1. IDK — you could be a frequent widower. I know it is unlikely. But multiple marriages doesn’t default to “bad person.” Unless you are a very strict and strident Catholic who sees this as bigamy?

        I feel that the unlucky in love crowd (not saying that’s his situation) gets an overly bad rap b/c they can’t be good Christians (or other faiths). How are they any different than those who covet, those who break the Sabbath, those who lie, etc.?

        Give me constancy and virtue, oh Lord, but not just yet…

        2. It’s differnt because he’s literally advocating that women should be killed by the government for falling short of his religion’s teachings despite the fact that he’s demonstrably incapable of behaving likewise and apparently believes he deserves to live.

        3. If he’s got four dead wives, there’s probably something worse than bigamy going on.

        4. Exactly– We know divorce and remarrying (even five times) doesn’t automatically mean someone is a bad person or a bad Christian. Neither does having an abortion. The Post and Anon at 10:20 was highlighting that Tinderholt is not quite following the concept of “he who is without sin, cast the first stone.”

        5. I think the issue is that someone who has been married five times, and advances an anti-abortion bill that has pro-lifers up in arms, is likely someone who has *massive* issues with women.

          The pro-life position is not exactly popular here. But the job of anyone who has a strong opinion in a contentious debate, either side, is to be a generally respectable individual. (If you find no one to respect on “the other side,” when “the other side” is tens of millions of people, that is your own problem.) But if this man – a politician whose literal job it is to understand public perception – really believes in the sanctity of human life, he should have the humility to let other people advance legislation.

          Now, he can’t because this is so terrible that no one else supports it, but it’s a “him” problem.

        6. I imagine all four wives who divorced him are b1tches who wouldn’t put up with his sh1t and now b1tches need to be punished. He will show us all our places.

          That is more likely than the four dead wives scenario.

        7. Oh wait, credit where credit is due here – he’s been married five times, but only to four women because one of them is a repeat. And current wife was a Dallas Cowboys cheerleader and is like ten years his junior, so he’s clearly not been trading them in for younger models.

          1. Nice work! You would think that a Cowgirl could do better though. And I like how this is bit Burton-Burton-Warner-Fortensky.

    5. I live in Texas (Austin, no less) and this had not hit my radar. Not saying it couldn’t/wouldn’t happen here but seems unlikely if it’s getting that little press coverage that it’s has a realistic chance of being passed. To be clear, I’m embarrassed to learn of it.

      2. Well, each state has it nutjobs. And I’d never run for office (same with 99% of the people I know). So that leaves things open for the nutjobs and wingnuts.

        But it seems that this guy is a lone nutjob, no one sides with him, and this has no chance of passing, and if it passed has no chance of not being struck down. I hate to say that people are being alarmist, but that sounds better than hysterical.

    6. I used to work in the Texas legislature. Tinderholt is the race wars-inflaming, gun-toting, bathroom-bill introducing nut job that no one in the House pays attention to. He’s a fringe figure among his peers. What the broader media makes him out to be is another matter. (This is part of my growing distaste for WaPo – they keep edging closer to being a left-leaning Fox News – all drama to fire up the base.)

      Looking at his district, I don’t know that he’ll be around much longer. He represents the Fort Worth suburbs, and while Texans are conservative, they aren’t BSC. He only won 53% of the vote in November – if a normal R primaries him, he should fall away. (In case you needed another reminder, VOTE IN PRIMARIES!) A Republican getting only 53% of the vote in Texas should tell you loud and clear that this man does not represent the views of his district. https://ballotpedia.org/Texas_House_of_Representatives_District_94

      And listen, in Texas, when a committee chairman comes out publicly and says, “I cannot and will not support nor will I let come out of this committee any bill on [abortion] which targets the woman with either civil or criminal liability,” he means it. That statement is a big deal in political speak. https://www.dallasnews.com/news/texas-legislature/2019/04/08/advocates-improbable-ban-abortion-ban-face-plano-republican-rep-jeff-leach

      1. So why are we giving him so much emotional space here? Honestly, I am running out of bandwidth for real problems.

      2. This is why I stay a Republican — to vote in primaries. I want someone who will keep the trains running on time and fix potholes. Not be about getting the spotlight and looking like an idiot in it.

      3. I think it’s a real problem that a Republican from a moderate district is advocating putting women to death for ab@rtions. And I seem to recall when trump was also called a race-bating nut job who would soon go away.

        And I’m not going to be comforted that people in New Jersey have privacy rights when I’m watching the Texas government kill women because they’ve terminated a pregnancy.

        1. IIRC isn’t it typical for bills to punish the abortion provider, not the formerly-pregnant woman? Unless they are envisioning only DIY abortions?

          But anyway, this is a crackpot who is crackpotting; we shouldn’t give him any more bandwidth

          1. This is a really dangerous line of thinking. See the above example about people who used to say that about the man who is now our president.

  10. I just received a promotion with a significant comp increase (40k)! I’m already maxing out my 401(k), and I plan to spend most of it paying down debt/investing. However, I’d like to treat myself to something (up to $1k) to celebrate my promotion, but I’m not sure what. I don’t really need any shoes, work clothes, or work bags, and the only other thing I can think of is jewelry. Any other suggestions? Or perhaps links to pretty jewelry in that price range?

      1. +1! I’m not a fan of “let me find something to buy because I want to buy something” so either a vacation, or sock it away for when you see a piece that really speaks to you.

        1. I would put the money to that and do a nicer hotel/room, really fancy dinner out, or experience that you wouldn’t typically splurge on while on vacation.

    4. Congrats! I love vintage jewelry so I would probably treat myself to a Saturday of poking around antique shops and jewelry stores in search of the right piece. Start the day with breakfast and a fancy coffee at a cute coffee shop, drive off to countryside antique stores that have a great estate jewelry selection, break up the day with lunch at a cute bistro that has great sangria, and wrap up with a jeweler back in the city.

    5. Costco has some great deals on diamond studs and bands–those are always fun. I have also been considering getting some diamond huggies from ID Jewelry NYC (not quite huggies because they’re not fat, but small leverback hoops around .25ctw-.5ctw). I don’t see those on the website anymore, but they were around $400 or so (and I’d email and get them upgraded in quality, so likely around $600 when all is said and done–email them and they can make them for you most likely). Brian Gavin Leverback Huggies are the most similar to the ones I saw, and are currently $625. I also went to IDJ and got diamond jackets for my studs and those are by far my favorite jewelry purchase of the past year, because they fit all 5mm studs. So I now have a series of gemstone and mini pearl studs I rotate through with them (IDJ charged me $900 last year for .90ctw 14k gold jackets). For something “funky” and cool, Kojima Pearl has amazingly creative pearl necklaces and earrings. Not your grandma’s pearls! Pearl Paradise also has some cool black Tahitian pearls (although 1k wouldn’t go super far unless it was a tin cup style). If you want something blingier, I looked at Shan Adams on Etsy for her milgrain old european cut CZ stud earrings. I ultimately decided I could do better price wise, so I got some moissanite OECs and am having my jeweler bezel them. It will be about $550 when all is said and done for 3ctw moissanite OEC bezel earrings. Sorry, rambling, but I can also recommend some etsy shops if you’re after more gemstone type jewelry.

    6. A piece of art or small sculpture for your home. Something to bring you joy when you walk in the door.

    7. What is your style? I love my modern pieces from Tiffany, and David Yurman has classic pieces with diamonds.

    8. event tickets, mini vacation (think last minute tickets somewhere for the weekend), or upgrade sports equipment are my treats in these situations

    10. I’d personally buy a right-hand ring for myself. I wear a David Yurman petite albion one I love and there are many others depending on your style.

        1. I know. I need someone else to buy it or else I will have to hide my credit card from myself.

    12. Congrats. Check out Blue Nile dot com. They have a lot of very pretty jewelry, and it always goes on sale.

    13. I’d get a personal trainer and 1-1 yoga sessions and a swimming coach considering I don’t know how to swim, yet!

      Hire a babysitter more often!

      Have a spa day!

    1. Me too. Do you think it could actually be worn as a cardigan too, say with black ankle pants?

      1. Not sure what the double-breast thing is like… the other day I wore a single-button sweater dress with lapels over a black dress and I thought I was stylin’. The dress was black and the sweater dress has a black-and-white pattern.

  12. I keep getting ads for Free Fly apparel. Anyone tried it? I’m looking for some upf gear for leisurely cycling and general outdoor activity. Thanks!

    1. I have some pants from there I wore on safari, and now I wear them every day around the house because they are the most comfortable thing I own.

  13. Any suggestions on wallpaper that is good for an apartment (ie, comes down easy)? I’m moving into a studio this month and the “bedroom” doesn’t have any windows, so I’d like to brighten it up a little bit with something. My bed frame is oak colored stands with a metal frame that has a petal design and then I have a white comforter set with red flowers across the bottom, so something in that red/pink/floral color palette I think. But preference is for something that will come down easy when my lease is over.

    1. OMG how is that not a fire hazard?! We need two ways of egress to be up to code (including windows an adult can actually fit through).

      1. I think because it’s a studio, it probably does have them, just not in the area where Carrots wants to set up her bedroom.

        1. Yes, there are windows that are legit for fire code. The “bedroom” is off to the side of the windows, so the light doesn’t hit as well.

    2. Honestly, I’d get a large mirror b/c it will act like a window. Except in case of fire — you sure this bedroom is legit?

      1. +1 mirror can reflect back light from a lamp (that you will need b/c dark,no?) and have a window-effect

      2. Oh, a mirror might work as well – I’ll look and see if I can find some that would work in that space as well. Thanks! (Also, thank you all for pointing out the potential fire hazard. There are windows, the “bedroom” is just not on the direct path of light from the big windows in the sunroom area. Don’t worry – it’s a legit studio.)

    3. to the Anons above — the OP explained this is a studio, so presumably the ‘bedroom’ is an alcove or 3-walled ‘room’ that doesn’t get much light.
      Anthro sells really really pretty removable wallpaper…

    4. Or an apartment? my bedroom only has one door and while I could fit through the window theoretically I’d be 47 stories up in the air once I did so.

    5. My favorite apartment “wallpaper” is to get fabric or a nice color/pattern flat sheet and use starch to stick it to the wall. It adheres really well, everyone thinks it’s paint/wallpaper and is shocked when I tell them it’s fabric, and you can just peel off, run through the washer, and reuse when you move. Because it’s stuck on with starch it won’t peel off the paint like adhesives do and any residue is easily removed with warm water on a cloth or sponge. Apartment Therapy did a piece about it a while back.

    6. Check out Apartment Therapy for links to vendors that have highly rated removable wallpaper. If you can find an inexpensive bedsheet like the prior poster recommended, that could look good too.

      1. Society 6 sells wall tapestries that I bet you could also do the sheet trick with.

  14. What types of dresses/tops are good for petite yet long waisted gals? Or any tips pf what linds of silhouettes I shoukd stick to? I once read that jackets should not hit the widest part of your hips as an example.

    1. I’m also petite and long waisted (short legs) as well as busty. I do better with A-line dresses because with sheath dresses I find that the darting for my rear end winds up being placed above where my actual rear-end is on my body. That can’t be fixed with tailoring. I can’t do regular sizes instead of petites because then the shoulders and arm-holes are off. Also, I do better with hemlines a little above my knees (but I think that has more do with whether your thigh is longer than your calf?). I think shirt/skirt combos generally work better for me, although that is annoying because dresses are more formal and more appropriate in certain situations.

  15. I have to choose between two job offers (or neither) and am totally conflicted.

    I have been at my company 10 years, am widely respected and have a great role and have worked my way to pretty senior leadership, but it’s time to leave. My job pays well enough and they really want to keep me, but the place is declining and progressively less fun. I’ve been looking for something new for 6+ months but I’ve been picky and haven’t applied to much, since in many ways I have a great setup now and don’t want to go backward. These are only 2 places I got interviews in that time, and both have made me offers.

    Option 1 is working for a consulting company, doing some of what I do now but with a slightly narrower focus. 30K raise + bonus (maybe 10K). I’d get exposure to a lot of different projects, which is great. I’m not familiar with consulting.

    Option 2 is a very similar role to what I do now, 30K raise also but no bonus. I’d be using the full range of my skills, there’s growth possibility, but I didn’t think my potential manager seemed highly competent. Furthermore, while the money is better, it’s a small step down in seniority and influence, at least at first.

    Neither is the job of my heart: the consulting co has a lot of potential travel and the people I met were okay but I didn’t love them, benefits are just okay, and I thought they’d offer me more money. Option 2 the biggest drawback is the reporting situation. I wasn’t excited about my potential boss in either situation.

    Then there’s the idea of waiting for something else. I’ve applied for a different job I really want but have no connections and haven’t heard back after 2+ weeks…and at this point I think I have to decide whether to take one of these offers or lose them and be back to nothing.

    My friends are telling me to get out of my current place and take the consulting job, make money for a year or two and jump again. I feel ambivalent about it (especially culture wise), but it also seems ridiculous to turn down 2 job offers paying substantially more than my current one, at a time when I really want to leave my job. These salaries are also on the high end of what I expect, so if I turn them down I might be back to my current salary-ish…if/when something else comes through.

    2. How do you feel about travel? If you’ve got kids or pets to deal with, I probably wouldn’t want to do much travel. If you’re open to it, it seems like consulting would give you new skills to position yourself for a different job in a couple years.

    3. There are always trade-offs. It comes down to….How important is it to you to make $30K more? Do you need the money or do you value your time more? $30K for a more travel consulting job will compromise some of your personal time. And $30K more for another job where you aren’t very impressed with the boss and its a step down in seniority and influence – are you willing to trade those things for $30K more? Over the years I have turned down many jobs because I wasn’t willing to take the trade off. If you are this ambivalent, then I suspect you don’t desperately need $30K more per year…..now you know what you are worth in the market so go ahead and wait for the right job where there are less trade offs or the trade off is one you are more comfortable with.

    4. I won’t answer your question but I will say that I am not impressed with my current boss’s competence and for that reason I am looking to leave as soon as something better comes along. It brings down the whole team, and it feels demoralizing when minimal competence is not a highly valued trait. I also have to work harder to bring staff up to a performance level that I find acceptable (not great, just passable) because as I mentioned, my boss does not prioritize this area. So if you are leaning towards option 2, proceed with eyes wide open.

      1. Agreed with all of this. I am in a senior position to other members of my boss’ team, and it continues to be very challenging to motivate them to do what is the bare minimum for their jobs, when it is clear that the boss doesn’t care. Having a boss who isn’t competent is a very challenging position to be in.

  16. After dating for a little over 2 months, I was just dumped in an extremely thoughtless way. Friday night, the guy gave me one of those rambling/unclear speeches, I gave him through Sunday to figure out what we was trying to say, he said he’d think things through Saturday and get back to me, and then Sunday night he just said he hadn’t had time to think about it. When I saw that text I burst into tears, and I am still just reeling from being treated like that so abruptly. I did not write back and we’ve had no contact since.

    Any words of comfort or advice for recovering from being thrown in a dumpster? I honestly feel that way, it’s almost a physical sensation of shock.

    1. You were not thrown in a dumpster. A guy you dated for two months broke up with you. No one handles a break up perfectly. Of course it hurts! But focusing on how it happened and how it should have happened is just going to keep you tied to the past.

      1. Actually, he didn’t even technically break up with me. He told me he still wanted to keep seeing each other, “but…” various things. That’s why I had offered to talk further.

    2. Ugh, all too familiar. Sending internet hugs. For me, it helps to say something mature but final to close it off (and also it gives a bit of solace to know that they aren’t ‘getting away’ with treating another human being so poorly). Basically a calm call-out that ends with “all the best” so that the door is closed. This is very situation dependent though so use your better judgment. For recovery, throw yourself into working out (or whatever physical activity you enjoy) – I find it makes you feel better about yourself in general and also releases endorphins and acts as a good distraction. Spend time with friends and be kind to yourself.

      1. Thank you. I usually work out hard but have been sick (off and on) an amazingly long time so sadly should probably be resting instead.

        I am weighing the final message possibility. So far I had opted for silence because I know he wants to think he’s a nice guy who can keep the door open with me, and I bet it’s really bothering him not to get validation.

    3. Two months is not that long in the grand scheme of things and you’re obviously far better off without this dumb indecisive guy. Chalk it up to a learning experiences. Men are like buses, there’ll be another one in a few minutes.

      Sorry you’re feeling wounded. Do something nice for yourself.

      1. Not the OP, but “Men are like buses….” is so helpful to me right now! Thanks!

        1. And remember, most men are unsuitable. Unfortunately it took two months for this one to reveal his lack of suitability.

          Hugs, OP!

    5. Here’s your reply:
      “No need for you to get back to me. I’ve decided to move on and date someone else. It’s been real. Take care.”

      I’d read waffling as his decision. You deserve better/more. Hugs to you.

  17. Paging Senior Attorney – thanks so much for letting me know that this group commented on my question about the Dyson hair dryer. I saw that you have one. Wondering if it helps at all with frizz? I live in the south and so the humidity does a number on my hair. If the Dyson has some magical power that other dryers don’t have that keeps frizz at bay, then there’s no amount of money I wouldn’t pay for it. But if it just drys my hair faster…I don’t really need that. TMI but I shower and then fart around the house for about an hour every morning so my hair is just damp and only takes me a few minutes to dry.

    1. Alas, I can’t really comment on that because I’m in super-dry So Cal and don’t really have the frizz issues. My hair is nice and smooth, maybe a bit more than with my old dryer but can’t say how it’d be in a real frizz-inducing environment. (I’m going to New Orleans in October but you probably don’t want to wait that long for a report!)

      But high five for showering and then farting around the house for an hour!!

  18. My sister and brother-in-law are having marriage problems. I’m trying hard to be supportive, listen carefully and not offer unsolicited advice, but I’m sad and worried for them. They’re both good people who can’t seem to get on the same page about lots of major life stuff, from in-laws, to how they raise kids, to emotional support. It’s especially difficult when she asks really direct questions like, “Does your DH have your back in Situation X?” Well … yes, without question. But honestly answering “yes” feels like I’m giving her information that’s only going to further hurt her own marriage. I know they’ve tried counseling and she didn’t feel like BIL was all-in on following the counselor’s suggestions. They have kind of a “Mr. Perfect Nice Guy” vs. “dramatic, emotional wife” dynamic, where she wants to tackle all the problems and he’s all, “what me, worry?”

    If you’ve been in this situation, what would’ve been most helpful? A reality check? A listening ear? I’m trying to stay neutral and not criticize BIL even when I want to shake him — but sometimes I wonder if being neutral comes across as unsupportive of my sister. My sister already feels like she can’t be honest with my parents because they love BIL and think he’s such a wonderful dad … which he is, but IMO, he isn’t a particularly good husband in a lot of ways and I wouldn’t blame my sister a bit if she decided to divorce him.

    1. I think the best thing you can do is encourage her to find her own therapist for individual therapy.

    2. Ugh. My sister would do this, and, politiely, I’d try to get out of talking about me b/c whatever I did had no bearing on things that weren’t working out well for her with her husband (it’s like a Roomba — does your Roomba lose its charge? how can I get my Roomba to do what I want? spouses aren’t fungible like that and relationships are all unique). Is there a way that you can redirect her to resume counseling (even if solo) and working through things with her spouse (instead of getting into the weeds on your marriage)?

    3. It sounds like somebody needs to give your BIL a good talking-to, but I doubt that somebody should be you.

      When you say you’re trying to stay neutral, are you still being honest? If your sister tells you, “My husband doesn’t support me in X,” are you saying, “That sucks and you must feel really hurt by that, and if you want his support in something reasonable he should give it to you,” or “That rat b*stard, I’ll hunt him down right now myself, remind me why you haven’t divorced him yet”? Obviously option 2 is not very neutral, but I kind of think option 1 is, in that you’re not steering her towards a course of action or expressing your own opinions about BIL, but you are saying that her feelings are real and normal and she’s within her rights to ask certain things of him. You can tell the truth about his behavior without bullying her into divorcing or staying with him.

      1. I hope that I’m striking this tone and validating that she’s right to be upset. It’s just hard to know where the line is sometimes, in the moment.

        And I totally agree that somebody needs to intervene with my BIL, but it sure isn’t going to be me. Having been around his family more during the past two years, I can see exactly why he reacts to life problems the way he does. It’s hard-core denial at its finest. I’ve been blunt enough to tell my sister that she can’t force BIL to change — that’s a decision he has to make himself. The question is, can she live with that?

    4. I think that your sister needs to hear the advice that I did before I got married: “When you are having problems with your spouse, don’t complain to your family about that person because you will probably get over it, but your family will continue to hold it against your spouse forever.” She is your sister! Of course you will have her back over BIL. You’re far from a neutral 3rd party that she should be talking to. And it also sounds more serious that just, “My husband bought a new tv without consulting me.” You sister needs to talk to someone who is not family about her problems, best is a therapist, but even a friend who lives far away and doesn’t interact with the husband at all is a better choice.

    5. I am the sister who got divorced. My sister has a great marriage and was (is) 100% supportive of me. I did not tell her everything about my marriage troubles. I still haven’t. But while she knew enough to be worried, she never made me feel judged. It was great to have her support. You should answer her questions about your relationship honestly (if doing this hurts her marriage, that is only because it is an extremely weak marriage) and tell her she deserves the best and that you are there for her no matter what. You are modeling a loving and supportive relationship that holds its men to high standards. She can figure out the rest on her own.

  19. I know a lot of people like Old Navy’s Pixie pants. Does any one have any experience with their Everyday Khakis? I’m trying to find some cheap, basic twill pants, so if you hate those, I’d welcome alternative suggestions. TIA!

    1. I wear the Old Navy skinny leg khaki pants (in khaki, grey, and navy) all spring and fall. They’re comfortable and durable, and are the best fitting khakis I’ve found. I’ve had my current pairs since Sept 2017. The navy is starting to fade a bit and could stand to be replaced. The others are absolutely fine.
      No one would ever call them the height of fashion, but for my needs they work well. I’m a teacher and I spend a lot of time sitting on the floor, outside on the playground, etc.

    2. I like the Talbots girlfriend chinos. If you’re near an outlet, they’re about $20.

    3. I’d be interested in hearing feedback as well, especially as to whether they stretch out during the day. I bought a pair of pixies after reading all the praises here and elsewhere and they stretch out almost a full size on the first wear. Wondering if the pixies come in different fabric contents and one type is better than the other. Same with the khakis.

      1. The pixies have been a staple of my wardrobe for a long time and I think they recently (in the last year or so?) changed the fabric content. The new ones stretch like crazy and it makes me so sad.

    4. I hadn’t seen these before despite seesawing about Pixies for a while. I think I’ll be buying a couple – thank you Skipper!

  20. My mom has commented that she feels frumpy and wants to update her wardrobe, but has no idea where to start. I’d love to help her, but I’m at a loss. She’s mid-60s, tall, and fairly trim. I think she’s very pretty, but agree that she could use a style update. Problems: She has not shopped in FOREVER. She’s not used to spending money on herself and her sticker shock threshold is so low it’s almost impossible to get her to buy anything. I’m not opposed to just buying for her, but I’m afraid she won’t like things I pick. She also has very particular opinions about modesty. Won’t wear sleeveless, anything above the knee, nothing tight, nothing low cut, etc. It’s hard to find things that fit all those categories at once. Her lifestyle right now is casual mostly–she is involved in gardening clubs and loves to hike, but also needs a few outfits for church. Oh, and hot, humid climate. Any advice for the hive mind? Maybe likely stores I could get her a gift card for that she would be able to find something that suits her?

        1. Maybe also J Jill. And Eileen Fisher, if she goes for the Marin County therapist look, although EF stuff can be pricey.

    2. I would start by flipping through a talbots and lands end catalogue with her to get ideas for what she likes. Then go shopping. Her modesty restricts shouldn’t be too hard to shop for as most older ladies aren’t showing a lot of skin. Focus on finding her two or three great outfits that she can replicate in different patterns or colors – e.g. a land’s end dress that she can buy in a second color when they have 40% off and pair with different shoes/accessories.

    3. She seems like the ideal customer for a place like Talbot’s–good quality, modest clothing that’s not too expensive.

    4. What’s her style and where does she live? Soft Surroundings sounds perfect for her figure and lifestyle, but if she’s a proper southern lady then Talbots might be more her speed.

    5. Recommend she pull books by Brenda Kinsel from the library. (Has a blog by the same name). She’s a fashion consultant of a certain age and may just speak the language your mom needs to move her along to a store.

    6. I think it would be fun to set her up with a personal stylist from Nordstrom and go with her to the appointment. Ask around for a recommendation — I’ve had great stylists and one not so good one, so it’s worth asking around ahead of time. Your mom would fill out a detailed survey of what she is looking for, and then when she comes for the appointment there will be a bunch of clothes waiting for her. The service is free, so it’s worth a try.

    7. Honestly, for a woman of her vintage, modesty goals, and lifestyle, I’d head straight for Land’s End (for the more casual stuff) and Chico’s for the slightly nicer stuff. Going from store to store trying to teach her what exactly to buy from 20 different brands isn’t going to be helpful. Just head to one or two stores that 80% cater to her needs and are somewhat stylish, if stylish for an older set. The store clerks will literally dress her or she can buy what’s on the mannequin, which conveniently is usually placed right next to the rack that sells the clothes. Then, in the future she can go to those stores for updates or new items without questioning the style.

    8. In my experience, a knee-length or even slightly above the knee dress is tolerated – but no minis or shorts. A light scarf is useful because they can be strict about the bare shoulders. Note that most churches are pretty chill as long as you are not essentially naked but some of the bigger ones have a designated “bouncer” and won’t let you in (I was kicked out of St Marc’s in Venice on a sizzling hot day for not meeting the modesty standards. Oh well, I got gelato instead).

    9. Is she on the interwebs? Would she enjoy looking at find-your-style blogs?
      The two I recommend to women who hate shopping are missus smarty pants dot com (all 1 word)
      and of course inside out style blog dot com (all 1 word).

      Everyone in this thread has good suggestions, too.

    10. Our moms sound very similar! I second the Nordstrom personal shopper suggestion if you’re close to a Nordstrom. I took my mom a few years ago and not only did she love the experience but we had a great time together. I specifically requested a personal shopper in her age demographic and told my mom not to look at price tags or sizes. It was her Mothers Day gift from me.

      1. Nordstrom carries nothing in tall whatsoever. My friend is a buyer there and says they never will. GRRR. I buy all my giant shoes there but no clothes there.

        Boden, LongTallSally, Talbots (cuts long–not very many talls), Ralph Lauren, Zara Woman (their more expensive label) all carry nice talls.

        I wear a lot of Old Navy Pixies, talbots bateau pima 3/4 shirts and talbots/boden dresses. These serve me well for a lot of different occasions, from work to weekend. I spice it up with jewelry and an amazing shoe collection.

    11. The suggestions here are depressing to me, a hopefully chic 54 year old. I’m not saying that Talbots and Chico’s are bad stores inherently but if someone suggested I update my style, this wouldn’t be where I’d go.

      I would probably hit Nordstrom, Saks, or Neiman Marcus to see what is in stock this season and looks good on. Then, depending on budget, buy what I could afford at the moment and then look for the better styles elsewhere. (I’m pretty good at sale stalking – I use Shop Style but I know there are other apps that do it as well)

      1. I can’t agree more. “older ladies”? “Of her vintage”? She’s a tall, trim 60something who wants to look current! I’m much younger than her and I’ve never worn anything above the knee (don’t have the legs for it), never worn anything low-cut or too tight, and I have an easy time finding clothes. I beg you: don’t limit her to the bright colors and conservative cuts of Lands End or Talbots, or the more busy, patterned clothes of Chico’s if that’s not her. Take her to the stores you shop at. Or send her out with one of her stylish friends.

        I’d start by dealing with the sticker shock up front and ask her, ‘Mom, what’s our budget?” Come up with a dollar amount, whether it’s $300 or $1300. That way she’s already agreed that it’s time to spend money and made a decision about it.

        Then come up with a set of outfits you need and do the math “OK, we’re going to get you 4 everyday outfits and 2 church outfits. That’s going to be about 6 tops and 4 or 5 bottoms or dresses. That means we have about $X to spend on each one.” That way, when the sticker shock kicks in and she balks about spending the money, you both know that this is what you’ve budgeted to spend on an item like this. And that she made the decision thoughtfully and it’s OK to go ahead and spend the money.

        1. Ooh, that’s a great idea. Unfortunately I live out of state, but she has a big number birthday coming up this summer, so my gift may be to just fly in for a shopping weekend and insist that we are spending the weekend and $X to get her suited up. We are a family of deferrers, so sometimes I just have to get bossy to make something happen. :-)

          Thank you, hive, for all really great ideas!

      2. Yes, I agree. I’m only 40 but my most stylish colleague is 60 and shops pretty much shops exclusively at Nordstrom, the Rack, Saks, and Off Saks. I would start with a stylist from Nordstrom (they’re fantastic and will know how to dress your mom well), you can also take her to Talbots but I wouldn’t start at Talbots. And Chicos is just awful.

      3. But this mom is deeply uncomfortable spending money so that seems not the right path for her!

        1. Nordstrom always has sales. She can buy a few things there and then just stalk sales. I never buy anything there full price.

      4. Sing it, Sister. Just Say No to Talbots and Chico’s.

        My new favorite blog is Girls of a Certain Age dot com — they have lots and lots of examples of specific current items your mom could try. Also I second the idea of a Nordstrom personal shopper. The prices may be too high for her but at least she can get an idea of what’s current.

        Then if she really wants to be on a very low budget, I’ve found that Target, of all places, can have a lot of gems if you know what to look for.

      5. Speaking as someone close in “vintage” (sheesh!) I am SO GLAD you spoke up. Talbots and Chicos and J.Jill are not the limit for stylish women near 60. Yes to Nordstrom for a visit to a personal stylist. Sign up for a Trunk Club box — if you have a Nordstrom card there’s no charge. Peruse https://unefemme.net/ and the links listed under “daily reads.” Sundance is a great suggestion. Stay out of mall chain stores.

    12. Any chance she lives near a Belk? I’m a regular Talbots shopper (and I’m 37), and Belk nailed Talbots’ vibe for summer at a fraction of the cost. (I was elated to walk out with 3 shorts, 2 cardigans, a dress, and a blouse for $165.)

    13. If she knows her sizes and her brands, Thred UP. Used clothes. Filter by nearly new.

  21. Anyone have any recommendations for travel pants for a petite- pear shape? I am going to Italy in September and have seen that I need to have my knees covered to go into churches. I do not really have any casual pants except for jeans or leggings and normally wear dresses in summer. What type of pants would you recommend for this?

    1. Athleta, but you need to go into a store and try on. Every season (b/c I keep going up a size) I can find something amazing, but I totally have to try on and play around with sizes. Size 8 (this year!) pear.

    2. You’re fine in a dress. As long as it’s not like a miniskirt you’re not going to have a hard time. A black linen scarf is great to stash in your purse for last minute coverups for church rules or from the sun.

    3. Not what you asked, but when I have traveled to religious sites in warm locales I usually wear capri leggings under dresses.

    4. Agree with the dress suggestions but also try Jcrew’s slip on pants. Looks like this year they have the Point Sur seaside pant in cotton twill and Factory has the Linen-cotton drawstring pant.

    5. Old Navy or Gap usually have some linen-cotton or lightweight cotton pants that would work. Alternatively, check REI, which usually has a decent selection of travel pants (some are technically for hiking but don’t necessarily look like hiking pants.)

  22. Where should I look for a bikini with high waisted bottoms and a top that one can actually swim in? Ideally in bra sizes; I’m a 34 DDD/E.

      1. +1. Freya is another good brand. Both are available at Barenecessities, Herroom and similar sites as well as Amazon. Signed, 30DD.

    5. Title 9 or Athleta – I am 36DD and like to be active in the water – both make great suits that come in bra sizes and won’t come off in the water, waves, etc.

      1. Just ordered one from Athleta with two styles of tops to try on. Thanks for the recommendation! I would have thought the Athleta swimwear would be a little too sporty for my tastes but there are some really cute options there.

  23. PSA-JCrew is 40% off full price styles today, including the Going-out blazer that’s so popular around here (and which I now own in 3 colors, so thanks for whoever initially recommended that), if anyone needs to stock up.

    1. Just got the going out blazer in grey and cameron pants because I keep hearing about them. Thanks for this tip!

      1. Me too! I hope they work. I haven’t bought anything from J Crew in at least 5 years.

    2. I wish they made that blazer in more colors. Specifically I’m itching for a white blazer after the comments above, but any other color or pattern would do.

      1. I want a white blazer too! There’s a good looking one at J Crew now, but it’s not eligible for the 40% off today.

  24. Biglaw attorneys: Do you have experience with / interact with “Knowledge Management Lawyer” positions in your firm? How much experience (years in biglaw) is required/desired/typical, and do you know what is the going rate for salaries in these positions? Once you change track, I’m guessing that you would have limited mobility and can’t go back to front-office roles (obviously not as partner, but not even as Counsel roles) — is this usually the case? How about in-house roles? Would this be a position where job security (are these usually temporary needs by firms, or is there an ongoing internal demand for this role over the years) / overtime (I’m guessing set hours if this is a more staff-like role) would be an issue ?

    I understand from the job postings that it’s an associate-level back-office function, primarily drafting/maintaining/retrieving standard forms and attorney training. My firm doesn’t really hire attorneys for this position (they use mostly staff) so I was curious about this position at a different firm. Thanks in advance for any insight!

    1. This is a mommy track position (I hate to use that term but it’s the most applicable here). The position as I’ve seen it is usually filled by female attorneys (always female) who don’t want to practice law anymore for whatever reason, be it forever or temporary, but need a reasonably well paying job with stable defined hours while keeping up to date on the law. Occassionally these are staffed by people who are just nerdy for a specialized area of law (tax or securities is where I’ve seen the position). In big law there is virtually no chance of ever moving back to a practicing position after this, especially in the same firm. You’d have to move to a different firm and convince them you still know how to practice. Don’t do it if you ever want to actively practice law again – but if you want to be a subject matter consultant, which is what these people are, go for it.

    2. This is a mommy track position (I hate to use that term but it’s the most applicable here). The position as I’ve seen it is usually filled by female attorneys (always female) who don’t want to practice law anymore for whatever reason, be it forever or temporary, but need a reasonably well paying job with stable defined hours while keeping up to date on the law. Occasionally these are staffed by people who are just nerdy for a specialized area of law (tax or securities is where I’ve seen the position). In big law there is virtually no chance of ever moving back to a practicing position after this, especially in the same firm. You’d have to move to a different firm and convince them you still know how to practice. Don’t do it if you ever want to actively practice law again – but if you want to be a subject matter consultant, which is what these people are, go for it.

    3. I would first find out what the KM culture is at your firm. It’s a cool job and has decent hours. As at all law firms, if you’re not billing, you’re a second class citizen.

      I used to work at WSGR in corporate, and we had a really robust KM department (mostly male, BTW) and those attorneys were up on the absolute latest corporate law, constantly tweaking forms, working with form automation software for our venture kits, etc. These attorneys were well respected and if they added a tweak to a form, we were expected to use that tweak. You’re also expected to be an expert on a very wide breadth of law, so you need to have confidence in your drafting, researching and project management skills to succeed.

      At other firms, KM can be window dressing, so it really depends on how the firm treats KM and whether it considers it an integral part of its practice/attorneys use the KM forms versus their own precedents.

  25. I need help figuring out whether a guy is being creepy or I’m just being unreasonable. My friends think I’m being too hard on him, he’s just showing he’s interested. We’ve hung out 5 times, gardened for the first time on the last date (a few weeks ago). During gardening, he asked me twice if I wanted to be exclusive. I don’t, but that’s not a conversation I want to have in that moment, so I just kind of ignored it. His level of contact during the day has always been a lot but it’s gotten more over the top lately. He’ll text me goodnight well after my bedtime and then good morning before I get up. If I don’t respond quickly, he continues to send cutesy texts all day – Miss you, whatcha doing, xoxo. He also texts and calls when he knows I’m busy doing something else; I had a work trip that involved dinner, I texted him good night when I was heading to dinner, and he called me during dinner. He’s also called at other times in the evening, and only ever in the evening, he’s never called during the day on a weekend. His texting also gets intense in the evening. It almost seems like he’s trying to figure out if I’m with someone else, which sometimes I am. FWIW I’ve never answered when he’s called. I’ll text him back the next day and say I saw he called but I was out and I’m not much of a phone person.

    He’s a nice guy but honestly the clinginess is a big turn off. I had plans with him the other night and canceled the day before because he texted me over 10 times without a response. It’s to the point that I’m annoyed every time I see his name pop up on my phone. I didn’t want to go into a date already feeling annoyed with him. And I’m annoyed with myself because usually I’m him in this situation – I’m the one texting and wondering why he hasn’t responded for hours! Maybe I’m so used to neglect that I don’t know what it feels like to have someone interested in you? Or maybe this just isn’t a good match and I should let him know. Thoughts?

    1. I don’t think it matters whether his behavior is objectively reasonable or not (fwiw, I’d say he’s clingy but not creepy) – the point is, it’s not attractive to you and you dread seeing his name pop up on your phone. That means this isn’t a good match. If you were really into him, you’d be delighted to hear from him so frequently.
      Also, his phone habits aside, he wants to be exclusive and you don’t – that’s another reason to go your separate ways.

      1. Agree with this. You don’t like the guy. I can’t figure out why you haven’t broken things off already.

      2. Couldn’t agree more. The two of you aren’t compatible, and there’s no need for you to waste your time or his when you dread seeing his name pop up. I’ve decided several guys aren’t good matches because of the constant communication like this. It’s not my style and I find it exhausting.

      3. Exactly. In my younger years, I felt bad breaking something off unless it was “really bad” (a reasonable standard for a marriage, arguably, but not at all for dating). It took me a long time to realise that if things were unhappy at Month 2, they were only going downhill.

      4. Yep, according to this internet stranger, he is not your guy. You can feel good about just moving on!

    2. That’s WAY too much – it goes way beyond normal interest. I too am usually the one who texts more, but I would never text someone 10 times without a response or call them or do any of the things you’ve listed after only hanging out 5 times (or ever…). I’d definitely be clear that you’re not interested and get outta that before it gets worse.

    3. It’s too much because it’s too much for you. Someone else might find it flattering but if it’s not right for you that’s it.

      That said, I would talk to him about it. If his last girlfriend broke up with him because he wasn’t communicative enough, then he may have swung too far in the opposite direction trying to fix it. Explain to him the level of communication you would like and see how he responds. His response may tell you a lot about whether he expects you to conform to what he wants or whether he is open to meeting your needs.

    4. Stage 10 clinger. I don’t know if I’d categorize what he’s doing as creepy, but it’s definitely not normal and reeks of desperation. You don’t need any reason to dump someone – just because you feel like it is reason enough. And being annoyed by someone because they contact you too much is definitely dumpable territory to me.

    5. I don’t know if this is “creepy” per se, but I have dated dudes like this and it is very much Not For Me, and it sounds like it’s Not for You either. When I have talked myself into giving these guys more chances, I have always regretted it.

    6. This would be a no go for me. If you are already annoyed by him, it’s time to move on.

    7. I feel like calling you during a work dinner is way out of bounds, but otherwise he just seems enthusiastic and a little clingy. But I agree with Anon above, it doesn’t matter who’s reasonable – you’re not into it so cut him loose and you can both find a better match.

    8. Nothing wrong with telling him that it’s too much and to dial it down. If it’s ruined for you, no need to hang on to something you don’t want.

    9. Ew, asking you to be exclusive *while gardening* is sort of a controlling, creepy thing to do.

      1. I think he just got carried away, b/c guys don’t know what to say when they are trying to get busy doing his thing while we just must wait clicking our fingernails waiting for it to be over (about 30 seconds later!) FOOEY!

    10. You’re asking the wrong question. You don’t need to call him creepy to decide you’re not into him and don’t want to date. “Hey it’s been nice getting to know you but this isn’t going to work out for me. Best of luck!”

  26. Favourite under-shorts for skirts? Would be great is they are a very light, very breathable, yet opque nude.

    3. People love skimmies, but they have never worked for me. I like the bike shorts from American Apparel because they are cotton and breathable. A few years ago I got a bunch in a beige color, but I’m not sure what they have available now.

    4. I like Target’s version of Spanx. I believe they are called Assets. Kohl’s might carry them, too.

      I get the size that includes my weight/height at its lowest end (I think? I guess I mean I size up if I’m between sizes), so that they are not super-tight. But those are pretty much the only brand of shorts-style underwear I’ve found where the legs don’t role up on me. They are also cotton, or at least a cotton blend, so pretty much as breathable as regular underwear.

    5. Soma smoothing short. The Jockey skimmies roll up on me and these don’t have that problem.

    6. I found the jockey skimmies to have a rough texture which caused knit dresses to cling and ride up. I got something similar from Maidenform that’s got a smoother texture and is opaque.

    7. I like the Vassarette invisibly smooth, or something like that, available on Amazon. I agree with Flats Only that the Jockey variety is too clingy with skirts.

      They run a bit small IMO.

    8. I had never heard of this until now, but based on this post and a Google search, it seems popular. Why do people wear shorts? One of the reasons I love skirts/dresses over shorts (and pants) is the comfort, and this seems like it would defeat that?

      1. 1. Modesty (if you have a biking commute, it’s a gusty day, you are chasing after small kids, etc.)
        2. Because some of us (in all different shapes and sizes, but especially some shapes and sizes) have thighs that rub against each other when we walk. If there’s no fabric between them, the rubbing can quickly turn into painful chafing and (for some women, sometimes) even bleeding.

  27. Our moms sound very similar! I second the Nordstrom personal shopper suggestion if you’re close to a Nordstrom. I took my mom a few years ago and not only did she love the experience but we had a great time together. I specifically requested a personal shopper in her age demographic and told my mom not to look at price tags or sizes. It was her Mothers Day gift from me.

  28. My fitbit Alta HR died this weekend (RIP). It was outside it’s warranty, but customer service gave me a code to buy a new one at a discount (sidenote – seriously the best customer service!). I’m considering the Ionic, but can’t figure out much about it beyond the company’s own marketing materials. Any users? Any thoughts?

  29. I just did a run-through of my tax bill, using good estimates, and I’m paying $80k more in taxes this year than last year with all of the lost deductions. I don’t mind paying my fair share, but that size means I way under-withheld and have to liquidate retirement savings to cover the bill. I’m one of those high earners that was supposed to benefit – I thought. Is this magnitude of increase really possible with the changes in the tax bill?

    1. Yikes- I’m guessing the SALT limit hit you hard and you’re below the AMT threshold. You have my condolences

    4. What percent of your income is it? If you make millions, sure this is plausible. If you make $300k, your tax liability did not go up $80k and you should see an accountant.

    6. The super high earners were never supposed to benefit – what on earth are you talking about?

    7. This is a fantastic humblebrag. There are numerous articles on how the Feds (and likely your own state) failed to update withholding schedules, or failed to inform folks to update their withholdings. Additionally, a number of exemptions went away and the threshold for itemized deductions increased significantly. If you are a single high earner–you’re gonna pay.

      1. Not intended to be a humblebrag, actually – it’s literally a gut check because I’m usually within a few grand of my tax bill and the magnitude of this, even being a high earner, was scary to me, and this blog has a lot of high earners. I can’t really discuss it in real life and I’m filing an extension so I won’t have time to run it by an accountant by next wee,. I’ve never had to liquidate retirement savings for taxes before.

        1. I think the bigger problem is that you earn enough money to owe $80K but have no savings other than retirement savings to fall back on?

          1. Agreed, especially since it sounds like you have to pay a lot more than $80k in taxes (whatever you paid during the year plus 80k, which I can only image is at least $200k-$300k). You must make like a million a year. Where is all the money going that you don’t have any other savings.

          2. +1

            OP, you could also just go on a payment plan with the IRS. I do not know whether that beats liquidating retirement savings (I bet lots of people here do, though; you guys are awesome at financial advice) but it’s not like that is your only option.

          3. I didn’t get the sense that she only has retirement savings for this, just that she has to draw on them. Maybe she bought a house this year or paid tuition for a kid and that wiped her savings.

            OP it sounds like you are a very, very high earner. Not that I would ever be in your shoes, but I would maybe get a financial adviser on board.

          4. Pugsandbourbon is correct. Bought a house and the rest of our money is just earmarked for retirement because I don’t have other things to spend it on. I don’t keep tens of thousands of dollars in cash available. I’m a high earner in line with a lot of people on this board.

          5. My parents have a $5M net worth (excluding their house) and except for a $50k emergency fund it’s all in retirement accounts. I don’t think that’s abnormal? You can have a LOT of savings and have it almost all in retirement. There aren’t many occasions when you need $80k in cash lying around. If you have an unexpected bill that high, it will normally be covered by insurance and/or you can pay in installments.

    8. I ended up owing $20k this year and I’m feeling really upset about it but mostly it was my fault for not updating my withholdings. But yes, I’m paying way more in tax in 2018 – single high earner in CA. Ugh.

  30. I need a gut check. I’m a lesbian. I came out to my parents years ago. My twin brother is also gay. He came out to my parents years even before I did. Despite this, my parents have not told any of their friends, coworkers, or other family (aunts, uncles, grandma). I just eloped last week and my parents are panicking about Easter. They have presented the following options if I wish to celebrate with them – come and pretend that my wife is my friend/don’t bring wife. Or not come and have them throw a hissyfit that I don’t love my family enough to spend holidays with them.

    Now that I’m married, I find it very absurd to have to pretend to be chronically single to my family. I always get the “do you have a boyfriend?” questions from my aunt and uncle. I honestly say “no I do not have a boyfriend” but this spirals into a two hour conversation about how hard it is to find a man. Meanwhile I am committed to a woman and happy about it and now MARRIED.

    How should I approach this? Should I tell my parents that I cannot continue with this charade any longer and that I can only celebrate holidays if they are not going to require me to put on a performance? This is very hurtful. I WANT to celebrate holidays with my family but I can’t handle the lies anymore. What’s worse is that my brother isn’t bothered by the lying because he does not have a partner and can honestly say “no I’m not seeing anyone” and also doesn’t miss the company of a spouse if he comes to holidays solo.

    4. Send wedding announcement cards to all of your extended family members. It’s impossible to manage being out to your parents but in the closet to everyone else in your family.

      1. Yes I usually don’t like announcement cards but in this case it’s exactly what you need to do.

    5. Of course you tell your parents you can’t lie any longer. It’s ridiculous, insulting, and demeaning.

    6. I’m sorry you’re dealing with this. How is your relationship with other relatives? Can you tell them directly? It’s not your parents decision and they have no right to control that.
      Also, at the risk of sounding harsh, you can tell them you are happy to come with your wife (and introduce her as your wife) or not at all. You are married now and it’s absolutely fair that your first priority be your closest family, ie the family you have decided to form with your wife. It sounds like there is a lot of emotional blackmail happening here and in my opinion, giving into emotional blackmail teaches people that it works and they should do it more. What’s your brother doing?

    7. Your parents are being beyond unreasonable. You aren’t going to pretend your WIFE doesn’t exist! Tell your parents that you’re not attending any family events without her. And honestly, I’d probably also send out wedding annoucements to your entire extended family. Your life isn’t shameful and it isn’t something to hide.

      Congratulations on getting married!

    8. This is insane. Send a wedding announcement with a photo of you and your wife to your entire extended family.

    9. (Big caveat, I’m not gay, however..)…Personally, I don’t believe you need your parents’ permission to come out of the closet. If you want introduce your aunt or grandpa to your wife, presumably all 3 parties of that conversation are adults.

      I might or might not chose to do so in a big scene at easter dinner, but it probably wouldn’t end up having a satisfying outcome. If your goal is to actually have healthy supportive relationships or firm respectful boundaries with your partner, parents, or extended family, it might be best to give Easter a miss, and start making changes via other conversations.

    10. So sorry you’re going through this. Don’t lie, and don’t hide. It’s completely unreasonable and unfair to you and your wife. unfortunately, you can’t control your parents’ behavior. Even if you talk to them, the probability of success seems low. Have you considered coming to family holidays, bringing your wife, and just acting normal? Send wedding announcements, etc. Just act like you’re a normal married couple, which of course you are. Parents can figure out their own problems.

    11. Assuming your parents don’t live somewhere like Brunei where it’d be dangerous for you to be out, I think sending wedding announcements to your relatives (or calling if you’re close) is the way to go.

      I have some semi-closeted family members—I would be really sad if I didn’t get an opportunity to congratulate them on their marriage just because their parents were homophobes.

      After your parents behavior, it’s super kind and forgiving of you to still want to see them. If your wife is willing to see them, I think it’d be good to go with your wife and happily introduce her as your wife. If your wife doesn’t want to see your parents because they’re behaving terribly, but is cool if you go, do mention your happy news to the family.

      If your parents aren’t happy, that’s on them. They don’t get to make you pretend your wife (who is now your family) doesn’t exist.

    12. First of all, CONGRATULATIONS! Finding a life partner is an amazing feat made all the more challenging when your parents are pretending that a huge part of your identity does not exist. I am so happy for you and your wife, and so sorry that your family cannot be happy for you. Second: gut check–your family does not deserve to spend time with you and your wife. They are treating you horribly by forcing you to lie. That must feel awful. What is your wife’s family doing for Easter? Do you have any cool friends who would be down for an Easter brunch? Or maybe you and your wife can do it together just the two of you? Now that you are married, you get to make your own traditions on your own terms– and at a minimum, that should include acknowledging that your marriage is real.

    13. You’re married. You don’t pretend you’re not married and go to your parents’ house. You and your wife are a family and a social unit and your parents need to stop being a55holes.

      Congratulations on your marriage by the way!!

    14. Congratulations! You got married, and your wife is your family now. Don’t go to Easter and pretend that you’re not married.

      You should either go to Easter and present your wife as your wife or not go to Easter. There’s really no middle ground to keeping up the charade.

      If you want to announce your wedding to your extended family, you should do so. You don’t need your parents’ permission.

      1. +1000 to this: your wife is your family now. When you get married, your “family” is no longer your family of origin, but you + your spouse. That is the family whose needs come first now. It is absolutely not okay to pretend you are not married.

      2. All of the above. I would totally go and introduce her to the rest of your family. Your parents are being completely unreasonable and you do not need their permission to announce your marriage.

        Above all, congratulations!

    15. I’m sorry, this is awful. I think you have to tell your parents that if they don’t respect you and your wife, you aren’t coming to any more family events. And refusing to acknowledge your life to friends and family is disrespectful to you and your new wife. If they throw a hissy fit, it’s all their fault. It is completely within their power to fix this – which they won’t do if you don’t call them on it.
      I’m a lesbian, and admittedly my family was far better than I thought they would be. However, my wife’s family was not as accepting at first. My wife’s older brother is also gay and her family excluded his partner for years. When she came out to them she made it clear that I was not optional. Her family allowed me to come to family events, begrudgingly at first. Now they completely accept me and try very hard to include anyone my wife’s brother is dating. In fact the current family drama is that her parents want to throw a party for their friends to show off our kids, but we can’t really find the time to schedule it… so now they are upset that they can’t show off their lesbian daughter’s family to all their friends.
      Your parents are the problem, not you. There is nothing inherently shameful about your life. The fact that your parents are acting like there is, and they asking you to participate in in their charade is just not ok. It still sucks, and I’m sorry. But the only way to change it is to not participate.

  31. What are your favorite ponte fit and flare dresses that are still available?

      1. Not sure why the entire link didn’t become linkable but you can cut and paste into your browser

  32. Favorite place for dinner on the Strip in Vegas? Looking for not too loud, possibly a place to bring a book. Open to any type of cuisine.

    1. Giada’s in the Cromwell, Joe’s Prime in Caesar’s Mall (It’s tucked away and easy to sit at the bar/ bar area and read a book, Bardot Brasserie in Aria. The people watching (depending on where you sit) can be fantastic and as engaging as any book. Momofoku in Cosmopolitan–actually any of the restaurants in the Cosmo will do you well. There are some amazing places to eat in Vegas.

      1. Thank you for reminding me about Momofuku! All your suggestions look delicious.

  33. What are your thoughts on Lori Loughlin and the penalties she is facing? She seems like a perfectionist who has had an extremely successful career. TV, movies, infomercials, all over the Hallmark channel. Is this a case of being too competitive? image conscious? Entitled? She and her husband did not go to college….definitely seems like they don’t understand the value of working hard to get into college….interested in your thoughts.

    1. I mean, all of the above, probably? I read a similar thought exercise in a different comment section yesterday and it really rubbed me the wrong way. It felt like people were looking for ways to excuse or justify their behavior. All of these parents broke the law and what they did was objectively wrong.

      1. I think she is massively entitled and has a stereotypical rich attitude about the rules not applying to her. I hope she goes to jail. I’m sick of the white wealthy getting kid glove treatment when they break the law.

    2. I mean, my mom did not go to college and she knows that you can’t cheat your way to college. They thought they could get away with it with no penalty and all the reward and so they did just that.

      1. OP here…yes to all of the above responses…I can’t even begin to think how entitled one must feel in order to think they can get away with this…like the rules don’t even apply to them

    3. All of it? I can’t muster up much sympathy for wealthy, entitled people who don’t think the rules apply to them.

      I also don’t think you make the leap to bribery without doing a whole lot of other unethical, if not illegal, things in the name of advancement.

    4. I think a lot of wealthy people think the rules don’t apply to them, and Lori Laughlin is in that group.

    5. I think she and her husband and her daughter Olivia Jade are garbage people. Ugh ugh ugh.

    6. Having had the misfortune of going to school with somebody whose parents ran in similar circles (successful Movie People but not A-list celebrities), there are people in that world who believe that they get to do anything they want because they are attractive and wealthy and Better Than You ™. Deadlines, requirements, and any other constraints simply did not apply.

      1. In my (limited) experience, the household-name types are actually far MORE pleasant because they don’t really have anything to prove to little old me.

    7. Her kids seem spoiled. But she should NOT go to prison. She should do the time doing community service, mabye teaching little kids how to read and take standardized tests so they can get into school liegitimateley, not they way her spoiled kids got into USC. FOOEY! I did NOT get help to get into GW, so why should her kids get help when I didn’t and we in the HIVE didn’t?

Comments are closed.