Thursday’s Workwear Report: CashSoft Crewneck Sweater
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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
The CashSoft sweaters from Gap are getting rave reviews for their softness, fit, and price. As someone who wore a lot of striped Gap sweaters in the late '90s, early 2000s (anyone else remember this one?), this black-and-white striped number is really speaking to me. If you’re more into solids, it also comes in five of those.
At these prices, grab a few to get you through these extra chilly winter days.
The sweater is $34 to $49.99 at Gap and comes in sizes XXS-XXL, ST-XXLT, and XSP-LP.
This is a cotton blend, but if you're looking for 100% cotton sweaters, as of 2025 we recommend J.Crew Factory, J.Crew, Quince, Brooks Brothers, Barbour, and Amazon Essentials. For splurges, check out Molly Moorcamp or State of Cotton, as well as Frank & Eileen's Monterey sweater. Nordstrom lets you search by material.
Sales of note for 2/7/25:
- Nordstrom – Winter Sale, up to 60% off! 7850 new markdowns for women
- Ann Taylor – Extra 25% off your $175+ purchase — and $30 of full-price pants and denim
- Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 15% off
- Boden – 15% off new season styles
- Eloquii – 60% off 100s of styles
- J.Crew – Extra 50% off all sale styles
- J.Crew Factory – 40% off everything including new arrivals + extra 20% off $125+
- Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 40% off last-chance styles
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 40% off one item + free shipping on $150+
I need a distraction from our national hell and a few good books would do it. I’d be interested in any historical fiction recommendations or maybe any fiction recs set with WASP family dynamics. Open to low or highbrow for both.
I really enjoyed Pineapple Street for WASPy family dynamics. I also thought The Perfect Couple was good and less chick lit-y than I expected given what I’d heard about Hilderbrand.
I don’t read as much historical fiction, but The Frozen River was great.
I sometimes feel like I am the only person in the world who did not like The Perfect Couple. I very much disliked Celeste and thought that Benji and Greer were actually two of the more sympathetic people in the main character group. Although perhaps that was the point!
And to be clear I am talking about the book and not the Netflix series, which based on what I read, took every ounce of nuance out of the story.
I’m 48% through The Frozen River audiobook. It is good so far. I also didn’t realize it is written by another rec below…
-The Giver of Stars – Jojo Moyes
-Code Name Hélène-Ariel Lawhon
+1 to Pineapple Street
For historical, I liked The Other Boleyn Girl, and for more recent history I enjoyed The Rose Code.
It’s nonfiction but I enjoyed The Vanderbilts, and The Astors.
I really enjoyed Trust by Hernan Diaz last year.
Yesterday I finished the Lost Letters from Martha’s Vineyard by Michael Callahan. Fluffy and engaging. Could fit the bill for you.
Others I enjoyed:
Looking for Jane by Heather Marshall
How to Walk away by Katherine Center was okay
The Summer Wives by Beatriz Williams
The Queen’s Secret by Karen Harper
Black Cake by Charmaine Wilkerson was amazing, and she has a new book out. Pineapple street is a good WASP-y comedy of manners. Very Bad Company is hilarious if you’re familiar with Big Tech/start ups, Bad Summer People is ‘laugh at rich people behaving badly’.
Historical fiction:
Eleanor of Avignon
Maisie Dobbs series
Sharon Kay Penman books
Historical:
Matrix
The Marriage Portrait
The Nickel Boys
WASP-y dynamics:
The God of the Woods
Pineapple Street
Some history, some British aristo dynamics:
The Final Act of Juliette Willoughby
Seconding the marriage portrait
Third. also Hamnet, though I sobbed.
Lol, OP here and I HATED Hamnet. Odd since it seemed right up my alley, but I thought the writing was awful!
I hated Hamnet but loved The Marriage Portrait. I would still give it a try!
I didn’t like Hamnet either, maybe I will try Marriage Portrait.
God of the Woods was amazing
Loooved God of the Woods.
Historical fiction is my jam! The Fox Wife by Yangze Choo, By Any Other Name by Jodi Picoult, and The Heaven & Earth Grocery Store were all recent favorites.
I recently finished the fox wife. So good!
I’m currently reading The Phoenix Bride- a book set in 1660s London about a grieving window and the friendship/romance between her and Jewish physician. I’m loving the sense of place and muck and time.
Just finished and enjoyed The Wedding People.
+1 to the wedding people.
Loved it.
The wedding people was amazing.
Pineapple street was so bad, I’m offended it’s being mentioned in the same thread.
God of the Woods has great WASP family dynamics!
If you want some really meaty, long historical fiction, Hild and its sequel Menewood by Nicola Griffith.
Yes to both of these, but I’d but a TW for children’s death in Menewood – not graphic and handled well but still heartbreaking.
ugh I wish people would stop revealing storylines
Historical fiction:
The Women
The Briar Club
The Champagne Letters
Bright Young Women (it is historical but also true crime — about the Ted Bundy sorority survivors at FSU)
The Cliffs
Vaguely historical fiction:
“to say nothing of the dog” by Connie Willis- one of my absolute favorite books.
A Gentleman in Moscow
The Nest by Cynthia D’Aprix Sweeney is just perfect for this. Also around 2008 a handful of these “seemingly perfect WASP family experiences a light thriller drama” books came out. My absolute fave of all time I’ve reread so many times is “The Darlings” about a family entangled with a Bernie Madoff swindler and the fallout. Just delicious. And tons of juicy “insider” NYC details and specifics.
I’ve just started a consulting firm and, after 4+ years of working from home and body changes, I need to start from scratch on a new wardrobe. The next several months will be very networking-heavy. Advice on where to look for solid, versatile basics (e.g., pants, tops, and blazers that can be mixed and matched)? Any favorite workhorse pieces you would recommend? Thanks in advance!
If MM La Fleur fits you, that would be a solid choice. They have a lot of mix and match pieces. Ann Taylor would be another good option.
+1. MM LaFleur always has something that I can wear.
Not OP but interested in MM la Fleur – how’s the quality nowadays? I feel like I’ve seen a lot of posts here complaining that it’s declined.
I just got the windowpane suit featured here a few days ago and love it, the quality is lovely.
Everything is polyester that they are charging an insane amount for. It doesn’t seem worth it at all anymore. I stopped into a store a little while ago because I was curious and half the stuff felt plasticky.
I think it’s overpriced, but it does seem to fit, drape, and wash better than things I get from JCrew and Banana type places. I also like their stylist service bc I hate shopping.
price point? body shape?
Talbots
Of all places.
I know a lot of fed employees post here. Are you going to take the severance?
I’m not a fed, but I think it would be crazy to count on severance that hasn’t been approved by Congress and is so far just something that Elon Musk is promising. He promised a lot of Twitter/X employees severance that they never received.
It’s not severance. It’s just a fixed end date. No one needs to appropriate funds for this.
exactly, it’s not severance. private sector married to a fed. when my company has had voluntary separation plans, it included an end date and salary for X months after your end date. This is just a future end date and a loose promise not to get fired sooner.
It’s a deferred resignation, not a severance. But absolutely never. I spoke with a colleague yesterday who was planning to retire in a few months anyways and even she won’t touch this. Too scammy.
I’m not sure why anyone would accept a deferred resignation. Even if someone wants to leave their federal job, they can just job search and quit when they have another option.
I think the target audience is remote workers who may see it as a guarantee to not be let go in, say, April because they can’t/won’t come to the office. This way, they’re sure to have pay and benefits til Sept.
And by sure I mean “sure.”. Gvt hiring takes at least 8 months, so if anyone resigns whose position actually needs to be filled, the dept can start looking for a backfill on Feb 6. It makes decent sense, even if I think it’s not the optimum way to go about reducing force for govt.
are there enough young people who do government stuff inbetween grad school that maybe this makes sense for that population?
I don’t think so. I know a ton of govt employees (mostly national security and exempt from this anyway), and most people get into government as a long-term play. You do at least your 20 years to earn retirement, THEN you go make the big bucks in private industry. If you’re only a couple years in, it may not feel like too much of a sunk cost to jump ship, but I literally don’t know anyone who’s taken a government job intending to only stay for a few years.
The reality around RTO is mostly rhetoric. Even before the pandemic, most agencies had generous telework policies. So even in office is just going to be hybrid at best.
It’s not severance.
It’s not severence and it is currently unfunded. I hope no one takes it, but I fear that those who do are going to be really sorry. It’s also encouraging people to commit wage theft, so I hope it doesn’t backfire on people.
It would probably (assuming this is legitimate at all) be coded in a way that would make it not wage theft on the timesheet.
Hell no. That stupid letter was the perfect motivation for sticking around, but I’m petty like that. Don’t cave to fascists. Especially ones who don’t pay their bills.
That’s the kind of petty I’m here for. I also encourage anyone who can quite quit and slow things down to do so.
I thought this administration wanted less of this work to get done.
And they want more of bad work to get done – processing unlawful firings, opening Guantanamo for immigrants, and more. Stall that sh*t!
Nah, outside of anything illegal/immoral/unethical, which I’m unlikely to encounter in my job, I’ll keep taking care of my customers like I always have. They are who I work for. The powers that be are creating enough own-goals in terms of slowing things down. They don’t need my help there.
No. I believe in the work I do. I will not make it easier for Uncle Elon to stop me from serving the American people by resigning just because he threatened to fire me. And I have a better chance at ACTUAL severance pay (which this does not offer) if I do wait until he fires me.
It’s not a severance. And h3ll no.
I am not and I don’t know anyone who gave that email even 3 seconds of thought. It’s deceptive, it’s not a severance, and it’s illegal.
Even if it was a great deal, everyone is so dedicated to the mission that we’re not leaving. We see ourselves as holding the line against what’s happening and feel a huge sense of duty to the public we serve.
thank you for holding the line – someone really has to
Thank you for your service. Sincerely.
Seriously. Thank you all for your service.
Yes. Thank you so much.
Threadjack but does anyone know the new acting secretary of HHS? I do professionally and she’s…something. Very curious what kind of power trip is imminent in her short tenure there.
Tell me more!
People really underestimate the dedication public servants have to the community they serve. We’re not going anywhere.
I haven’t heard of anyone taking it at all. People here are very skeptical.
It’s very funny that we keep getting emails about that email that essentially say, You guysssss!! That was a really really real email!!!!!!!
I think a lot of people reported it as spam. It is only a couple of misspellings away from Nigerian prince correspondence.
I think everyone should keep reporting it anyway. Huge eye roll every time it pops up.
I e got a lot of Atlantic City friends who will happily talk to you about how Donald Trump doesn’t keep his word
Jesus imagine believing that dude about literally anything
For those still interested in the fed “buyout” discussion from yesterday, this article did a good job of summarizing of why it’s not actually a “buyout” and why it’s legally so murky: https://www.govexec.com/workforce/2025/01/employee-groups-democrats-experts-warn-feds-not-accept-deferred-resignation-offer/402599/
Govexec in general does better reporting on fed related issues as opposed to main media outlets. They even accurately referred to this as a “deferred resignation” offer in the headline rather than repeat the administration’s labeling of “buyout.”
The irony of a third-term Senator, whose entire prior career was working for a company founded by his wife’s brother using their father’s money, suggesting federal civil servants need to be “weaned off the government” is deep.
thank you for sharing this
Looking for recommendations for an adjustable laptop stand, so I could stand up and type on my laptop. Must go on top of a desk and not be too large/bulky. Also needs to adjust easily because many reviews of these things say they are hard to move up and down, which kind of defeats the purpose. The goal for me is to be able to have the keyboard at exactly the height that is comfortable for me which I’m not able to do with my desk alone. Does anyone have one they really like but that wasn’t too expensive? Thanks.
Are you typing on your laptop keyboard or looking for something that accommodates a separate keyboard? Adding the accessories makes it a LOT easier to have the screen at the right height for your eyes but the keyboard at the right height for your hands…
It would have to be typing on the actual laptop. For me height is the factor over an ergonomic keyboard.
Varidesk.
Thanks but this is for my work office. Have to adapt what’s there. So more loke something that sits on the current desk that allows me to elevate the keyboard/laptop
I feel so hip. i’m basically wearing the outfit in the picture today. different brands but same vibe and colors.
Oo, sounds nice!
What is everyone wearing today? I started with a silky black long-sleeved top and beige dress pants, but I got cold and so now it’s all topped off with what the fug girls would call a wine cardigan, haha.
WFH here. Wide-leg jeans, black Rag & Bone tee, a giant cotton cardigan from Anthro that I call my “Dude sweater,” and fuzzy platform slippers. There is a 30-oz Stanley on my desk. I may put on some makeup later for Zoom.
Please tell me about your fuzzy platform slippers!
They are the Maeve Fuzzy Platform Slippers from Anthro, currently on clearance!
Travel day, jeans, a turtle and a massive coat.
You travel with a turtle? ;)
A vintage silk Lauren Ralph Lauren blouse in dark purple Paisley, high waisted wide-legged pleated trousers from Banana in camel, a “boyfriend” style cardigan from Kule in camel cashmere but with a sour-tomato red stripe on the cuffs and collar that matches my sour-tomato red belt. I’m going to get a haircut later and I always want to dress up to stare at myself balefully in the mirror for hours contemplating all my life choices :)
jeans and a Patrick sweatshirt from frank & eileen. it’s disgusting how much i love this thing.
The Patrick is elite!
Black spanx perfect pants, black and white Jcrew striped button down, gray cable knit sweater vest, white Cole haan platform sneakers, accessorized with a general air of despair.
Sneaks, chinos, and a fleece quarter zip because it’s cold and I am the most senior person in the office today.
I am wearing a variation on my usual uniform, which is a pullover sweater, chinos or jeans, and sneakers. But tonight is date night so it’s a dressier sweater and nicer shoes (suede flats) and pearl jewelry from Kojima Pearl.
help me with something light. turning 50, heavier than i used to be (8-10). my wardrobe is serviceable but hardly exciting (loft, nordstrom, quince, everlane, old navy– mostly pants and sweaters). what are free ways of curating a more deliberate style?
I try to wear one interesting item per outfit (cool shoes or purse, fun jewelry, interesting jacket, etc). I ask myself whether I’m wearing anything that merits a compliment. Not really free but I find it’s easier to stick to a limited color palette with no patterns so I can more easily mix in my statement pieces. I hate to say it but watching Real Housewives helped me develop my personal style. The fashionable ones always have something interesting about their outfit and you quickly learn which styles you’re drawn to.
OP here. i like the compliment question. i’m going to try it. agree with you about TV etc (i am the one who posted about AJ FLickery below)
Slow and steady wins the race. Buy things over time and thoughtfully. I buy a lot of high end clothing secondhand.
Can you try one of those monthly clothing rental companies like nuuly to try out new styles without a commitment?
Check out Jo-Lynne Shane. She mostly wears nice jeans and sweaters. She does a very good job of analyzing why various outfits do or don’t work and showing the evolution of various combinations. You could easily replace the jeans with dress pants.
I liked the Curated Closet workbook.
Co-sign!
Have you tried shopping in local boutiques? I always thought they would be too expensive, but I have found a couple that have a really nicely curated selection with different pieces than you find other places. And prices on at least some items really aren’t bad.
I follow Racheal Herr on Insta. She is over 50, not a stick figure and has a fun and great style.
Yesterday it was announced that my executive’s 4th assistant in a 16 month period has resigned. No self awareness and of course HR would never look into the insane turn over.
have any of these assistants told HR why they were leaving? or are they doing the safe new job is closer to home/ more money. Have YOU told HR that you think that’s the issue?
have you ever actually experienced either of these things helping the situation and or your own career?
actually yes. In my experience everyone is scared to say something. i have two times in my career (i’ve been working 25 years) worked somewhere where someone blew things up on their way out the door– told HR and the bosses and everyone else how bad things were. Changes were made immediately.
Once, I was extremely vocal about an abusive work environment. Turnover was high. In tough AF so I was able to endure a lot. I documented it, presented it to HR and my one over one, and got corroboration.
They did nothing except tell me that my choices were to stay in the abusive situation (and they acknowledged it was abusive) or leave.
I left and threw a lawsuit over my shoulder on the way out.
They ALL lost their jobs.
good for you!! people always say nothing can be done and yet… it can.
It didn’t save my job. :/
The big effect, I think, was likely to make things better for the next person. Whoever works there now has a sane boss, HR would might do their jobs, and a one-over-one who might know when to intervene in a horrific situation.
No none have told HR why they’re leaving, and I’m not brave enough to either. The last person who tried to stand up the this executive got shipped off to BFE. Another person who tried to stand up was demoted. Unfortunately I’m too scared to take that risk.
I am not an assistant, but I was once the 4th in a series of at least 8 people to resign from a small department in a few years (I’m sure the series didn’t end, I just stopped keeping tabs). I know some people both before and after me tried to make things there better by being honest in their exit interviews; I didn’t because I didn’t think it would make a difference so why waste my breath, you know? I respect that they tried, but it never changed anything.
I have little sympathy for people who aren’t brave enough to give an honest exit interview. It’s literally the least you can do.
Honest exit interviews are all risk for the leaving-employee (references are important! ) and no upside. I admire people who can do them, and especially who can frame it in a way the Powers That Be can hear, but I wouldn’t blame anyone for “I got a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity I just couldn’t pass up!”
It’s naive to think they make any difference.
I’ve never seen an honest exit interview lead to change. I’ve only seen it used as a way to paint the person as not being a team player after the fact.
This right here. If the culture is so toxic that everyone is quitting, why would they be willing to listen?
This executive squashes everyone who tries to stand up to them, I can hardly blame the lowest folks on the food chain for being afraid. The executive has ruined the careers of senior management who make 10x as much as the admins, so they’d do it to admins too.
I saw a text from my MIL to my husband and SIL’s group chat. I wasn’t snooping; I was on his phone for a legitimate reason (trust me!) and it came through while I was on it. She said that I rushed him into marriage and “I could tell she was in a hurry. Engaged, boom. Married, boom.” We dated for two years, were engaged for 11 months, and have been married for six years now. I was 29 when we got married and he was 33.
I’m pretty insulted by this. MIL and I don’t get along that well but now I dislike her even more. I haven’t told DH I saw her text and I don’t know how he responded. Am I being too sensitive here or would you be insulted too?
This is incredibly out of line and I would not leave it unaddressed.
Definitely insulted, and how did this even come up? Talk to your DH immediately.
It came up because SIL was discussing the latest of her boyfriend woes and about how she wants to get married but doesn’t want to rush her boyfriend. That’s when MIL replied that I rushed into things. She also included a little dig about how some men do need a little push but you have to be sure it’s what you really want.
FWIW my understanding is we have a perfectly happy marriage. MIL has disliked me from day one, and I her.
Uh, I would 100% bring this up to your husband. “So while I was looking at XYZ, a text from your mom popped up, and it looked… really critical of me. What’s her deal?”
Eh. Who cares what her deal is. The important piece is how he responded to his mother.
I offer that as a way to introduce the subject with Husband, not as the end of the conversation. Agree that how he handled it is key!
I agree. What did he say in response to that text?
Talk to your husband! And girlfriend doesn’t know rushed, I got married a month after I met my husband.
Yeah it’s rude either way, but this is a completely normal timeline for anyone post-college! My husband and I had almost the same timeline and were only 26 when we married.
not only is it a normal timeline for anyone post-college, i would guess that when your MIL was dating and getting married it was all done by 22 or 23.
i want this story! :)
Right. My suggested script should you choose to use it “I saw your mom’s text come through when I was on your phone for X reason. How did you respond?”
no advice, just commiseration. DH has relayed similar bs comments that his parents made behind my back, criticizing his choice to marry me. Always sugar sweet to my face. We never discussed it directly. Haven’t found a good way to deal. Being smug about how successful your marriage is?
Had the same dynamic, plus a lot of unhealthy enmeshment between him and his mother. There were a lot of issues and then I discovered cheating. The one and only time I didn’t take the high road in the separation and divorce was when he was on the way out the door for good and I told him that I hoped he and his mother would be very happy together. It was petty and mean and I still get a warm fuzzy feeling about it.
OP needs to open a dialog to determine whether or not H is 100% on her side, and if not then why and is he going to do it differently going forward. She needs to be fully knowledgeable about what marriage dynamics she is or isn’t dealing with with regard to this issue.
Was that the last text? did your husband say anything? your primary relationship is with your husband (and his with you, not his mom and sister). If he is letting this go then your problem is with him…. also AND? most couples have one person who is pushing and one person who is dragging a bit…. like is it true that you were pushing? and if so, so what?
I’d ignore it. You’ve been married 6 years and she sounds like a nutter. I’m sure your DH knows that dating two years, being engaged for a year and getting married when you are 29 is not some crazy rushed timeline. It’s like the basic b!tch of marriage timelines.
FWIW – I’ve been married almost 20 years and MIL has only recently softened. I wish I had not wasted so much energy in my thirties on picking birthday gifts or arranging visits in the vain hope she would like me. MIL and her timeline nonsense is a her thing. Not worth thinking about or discussing.
Honestly this is what I suggest. Talking about it directly with husband will stress him out and not resolve anything. And you’ll never like your MIL and she’ll never totally get you and the primary focus should be building / maintaining trust with your husband. Focus on that part. Tell your besties, tell your therapist, don’t tell your family specifics, and focus on you. Your husband doesn’t believe her, anyway.
+1. Don’t get dragged into your MIL’s nonsense.
+2. I totally agree. Don’t let her stir the pot.
I don’t know if she should ignore if this hurtful statement will come out eventually. I try to ignore/suppress and sometimes I can’t help spout myriad things that I tried to suppress when I’m angry. I’d just remark at some point that I saw that text come through just to be open with my husband.
Yeah this makes sense to me. The idea of kind of drilling him on what he’s doing about it I think are overkill though.
If her husband is participating in group chats where his mother is saying disrespectful things about his wife and not defending his wife, then OP has more of a husband problem than an MIL problem.
+1 She’s trying to stir stuff up between you and her husband. To me it sounds like your husband has been shielding you from her nonsense, which is honestly what I’d want my husband to do: his mom, he can deal with it.
I would be so annoyed! My husband and I talk to each other about our parents’ silliness so I would discuss it with him, but not even attempt a conversation with MIL or SIL about it. Life is too short.
Eh, depends on your marriage. There’s nothing my husband and I don’t discuss and this would definitely be a topic of conversation Lowe got married objectively fast and he always quotes when harry met sally, the line about when you meet the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you want the rest of your life to start right away. I find that lovely and it sure shuts everyone up, OP could suggest it if her husband struggles with these comments.
I read 10:23’s suggestion as the OP herself not saying anything to MIL, but that Husband should? If so I agree with that, and like your suggestion!
I’d probably tell DH what happened, not turn it into a massive issue but say you’re going to keep your distance from MIL, and move on. I’ve had something similar happen but I knew there was absolutely nothing I could do to change her wrongheaded attitudes and I’d be better off washing my hands of the comments. I definitely didn’t keep it to myself, though – your husband should know about this.
To add, by “massive issue” I mean I wouldn’t go confront MIL or give your husband any ultimatums. Have a conversation where you say “that was rude and hurtful. I’m going to keep my distance at the BBQ coming up” but not much more.
FWIW my maternal grandmother openly made digs about my dad being the wrong choice and reminisced on how much she loved mom’s ex boyfriend…even when they had been happily married for 25 years. It was easier for them to ignore it because clearly she was wrong and the comments only made her look bad. This doesn’t have to be a big thing.
I’d tell him that I saw it because I have a big mouth and can’t keep a secret (from him anyway). I’m sure I would say something eventually. I wouldn’t make a big deal of it though. Hey remember when I was using your phone for X? Yeah I saw that shitty comment from your mom, I guess I was trying to ignore it but it’s still on my mind so clearly it got to me.
And that’s it. Let him comfort you or call his mom crazy or whatever he’s going to say even if it’s an unsatisfying oh huh. You already know she doesn’t like you. You don’t need or want to know every snide comment she makes about you. And you don’t need your husband to get all white knight up in arms about every comment either. Sometimes it’s better to ignore the comments and you’ve just got to trust his judgement on how he’s handling her in private conversations.
Why is that something they were talking about??
1) I would definitely be insulted
2) Not gonna lie- I would totally borrow his phone again and see how he replied
3) I’d talk to him about all of it. I personally would want to know how much sh— talking MIL is doing about me, how he responds, and game plan together how it’s handled in the future (does he tell me or not, does he respond or ignore etc).
Why are you using your husband’s phone and reading his texts?
This is a long text. You clearly clicked on it and read all the details and other texts. Who does that?
If I was husband, I would be a bit pissed with you too. I’m thinking…. my annoying mother is spouting off again, and now my wife is spying on me. Can’t trust anyone.
what are the websites that tell you where characters clothing comes from? I watched the storied history of AJ flickery (or something like that, that may not be the title exactly) this weekend and I am still thinking about Lucy hale’s wardrobe. like it sort of feels like what i’m already wearing (preppy basics) but with a twist, so cute…l.
I haven’t looked at it recently but WornOnTV used to be my go-to
Shop your tv and worn on tv. Also very popular shows like Succession will sometimes have their own fan-IG for the fashion/clothing/outfits.
I have a wardrobe question for the wise hive. Where are we on fabric?
I used to kind of blow off people here who insisted on avoiding synthetic fabrics. But recently I acquired some wool pants and real cashmere sweaters and I’m pretty convinced they wear better and feel better and just work better for my lifestyle. I’m looking to acquire new clothing only made with natural fibers. At the same time, it looks like a lot of workwear is veering into athleisure adjacent fabrics which are mostly synthetic. I’m thinking of mm la fleur, which i consider high end looking, the fact that my husband’s workwear has overlap with his golf clothes. I know this started pre pandemic and at one time my mm la fleur washable dresses felt like a workwear miracle. Now I’m kind of meh on the idea of buying more. I have plenty of synthetic athletic wear but I’m kind of rebelling against the idea of wearing it in non athletic contexts, especially as I focus on buying longer lasting clothes. I know none of this is import in the grand scheme of things but I’m interested to know anyone’s thoughts. If you care about fabric do you avoid a certain percentage of spandex or poly? Are you cool with poly pants but not sweaters? Thanks!
I honestly don’t care. I’m sure all natural is lovely for some. I hate wool. I love easy wash stuff. I’m size 18, I struggle to find clothes that work already, I’m not making up extra rules
agree, this is very individual, and on top of that, based on a phase of your life. That phase can be when you need your wardrobe to be low maintenance, or to be super on point, or you are looking to have fun with how you dress. These things wax and wane.
+1. I preferred natural fabrics for a while, but I just had a baby and will be looking for low-maintenance clothing for the foreseeable future.
Funny, I had a baby last year and prefer the natural fabrics because I found them to be lower maintenance and more breathable. (Hormone sweats are So Fun.) Caveat that I’m in a business casual office and wearing a wrinkled linen button up is right in line with the formality standards.
My feelings exactly. I’m short, I have a large chest, a bit of belly, but narrow hips (12-14P on top, 6-10P on the bottom, so finding stuff that fits is a struggle). I also have sensitive skin and a chronic health condition that means I’m often in pain so I’m already really picky about how things fit and feel. Sometimes natural fabrics work best (I wear a lot of merino wool socks and sweaters and some cotton shirts) and other times synthetics are a better fit (I really need stretch in pants and around my chest if I don’t want to look like I’m wearing a sack, I can’t handle cashmere or non-merino wool, etc.).
+1 to not adding unnecessary hurdles to get clothes that fit and look good. That’s enough of a struggle as it is.
This is pretty much where I’m at. I’m a size 14, finding pants is already hard enough, and I’m gonna buy what works. Also, I am not willing to add dry cleaning to my long to-do list, so easy care it is.
Lands End and Talbots have lots of natural fibre things. I will only buy spandex in leggings otherwise all other garments need to be 100% natural fibres. I of course never say this to anyone ever, but there is a very distinct poly stank a lot people have without realising because they’re trapping their sweat in plastic.
True. Synthetic fibers + front loading, high efficiency wash machines, and regular laundry detergent is not a winning combination.
But even if someone has figured out to use more water and an enzymatic cleanser, it doesn’t help with same day perspiration!
I sometimes wonder if that’s why Lume and other body deodorant have gotten so popular lately. We used to be told NOT to use deodorant down there. I wonder if people are wearing synthetic pants more often now and yes, they do trap stink. So people assume it’s them, not the pants.
Sweaters I like 100% natural fiber (wool/silk/cotton) but depending on the use, will accept some percentage of nylon for durability.
Pants I prefer to go by style, since all pants I own get destroyed within a year or two. I don’t buy pants intending for them to last.
Skirts, natural fiber only, same with dresses, though I made an exception for MM La Fleur because the ones I buy are very durable (the Lydia)
There are certain things I avoid completely – 100% acrylic or poly sweaters being the main thing. They pill immediately and trap odors. I try to buy sweaters and tops that are at least 60% cotton (I’m sensitive to wool) – so far that’s worked decently for me.
I’m also on a budget so blends are usually what’s available in my price range. I like shopping Nordstrom Rack online because it lets you filter by fabric type.
I should also add that I’ve never had much luck with thrifting – and now I live in a small city without many options. I try to be mindful about my new purchases.
+1 to the 100% acrylic or poly rule. I’ll do poly sleeveless sundresses but nothing with sleeves. I prefer buying workout tops in person because some synthetic fabrics are fine but others trap odors- it’s hard to tell based on materials alone but I instantly know when I feel it in my hands.
every single product page on any fashion website lists the fabric content. you can go from there. if you don’t have time for that, look to places that advertise themsevles as such like eileen fisher.
I’m on Team Natural, but make exceptions as needed.
Same. I always look at fabric content when buying clothes. I get sweaty so focus on natural for tops. Pants I don’t care as much but still prefer the feel of something that isn’t 100% polyester. Workout clothes are synthetic but like a poster above I like to feel and assess if it’s going to breathe or trap odors.
I think the men’s golf wear masquerading as business casual looks cheap and awful.
I spent my entire life preferring natural fibers. I used to sew a lot of my own clothing so I could get the clothing in the fabrics I wanted.
But now finding those fabrics is hard too, which reflects the general trend you’re describing.
I knit and I’m still on the 100% natural fiber train for that, because wool, alpaca, and cashmere are so much nicer to knit with.
But I’ve also had recent trouble with clothing moths, which is heartbreaking when you’ve invested so much time and effort.
And now I have a drooly rescue dog, which makes it clear that washable is important. I do wash my natural fiber sweaters, and all of the cottons and linens I wear in warmer weather, but yeah, if I needed some new work pants or a dress, I’d be looking for washable, which either means cotton or a synthetic blend. Woven wool fabrics have never washed well for me.
Mostly natural fibers. I do buy some pieces with a bit of elastane, but usually only pants.
I look for 100% cotton, silk, wool, and cashmere for work and nice casual. I don’t like how synthetics feel with sweat. Exceptions are for UPF and exercise clothing, but I’ve got enough of those.
I prefer natural fibers but I’ve become sensitive to wool, mohair, and angora on my top half so I tend to keep to lined wool pants or skirts in terms of wool items. If something is a special, unique print and a reasonable price, I’m okay if it’s poly. Ditto a unique shape or cut. I’m also okay with everyday throw-and-go blouses or popovers being poly or blended. I don’t want to have to dry clean or hand-wash my entire wardrobe. Also I’m a 16/18 and need stretch, and most 100% natural fibers just don’t have stretch, and many upscale brands don’t go up to a 16/18 or run small.
I’m sure the featured sweater is very soft but calling something Cashsoft feels a little disappointing if it’s just cotton and nylon, with zero cashmere in it.
I used to hate when jcrew would list its fabric as “super soft yarn” like what even was that?
I thought they were referring to cash money … as in it’s rich lol
That said I have one of these sweaters (the cardigan) and it’s soft and thick. It shed a lot on the first wash and needs a lint roller after washing. In other words I like it but IDK how it’s gonna hold up.
I have one of these sweaters, too. I do like the fabric and it’s surprisingly warm, but I also have my doubts about how it’s going to look a year or two from now. Would love to invest in wool sweaters but I have learned the hard way that I cannot handle any kind of wool, cashmere, etc.
They really are soft. I bought one of the cash soft sweaters on super sale recently.
Way, way back, there was a line of high end knits, 100% cotton, that were commonly referred to as “cotton cashmere.” They were great, but the term still bothered me.
Replying to myself: Joan Vass was the line.
I’m not sure I bought the Joan Vass line, but I did buy some items described as cotton cashmere.
They were soft but got very pilly quickly. I think the cotton fibers were milled/spun in such a way to be “fuzzy” vs something like a smooth mercerized cotton. It’s that fuzz/halo that leads to pills, in any fiber.
I’m with you on this. Luxury-washing should be disallowed. And honestly, I would be more inclined to try a sweater billed as a cotton-nylon blend, because it would likely be nice and breathable, soft, and hold its shape well. But calling it “cashsoft” makes me think they want to 1) catch me outside, how bout that and 2) my sweater is going to turn into some horridly pilled, crusty fake-sherpa staticky mess the first time I wash it.
Fluff question for you Tudor people on here:
Henry VIII was a ginger.
Catherine of Aragon is always painted by contemporaries as a strawberry blonde or definitely not a brunette (she is often shown with very dark hair in TV, like in The Tudors).
Why is Mary I always shown with dark brown hair? Have I stumbled upon something never discussed?
If you look at Mary I’s portraits at the National Gallery, the ones that show her hair show it as being red/strawberry. I suspect a lot of people are mistaking the edge of her gable hood as being her hair.
As for their portrayal in modern television, 90% of those shows do a genuinely horrific job of accurately portraying the dress and styling of the time in the interest of appealing to modern viewers. Catherine of Aragon always being shown with dark hair is a lazy shortcut to indicate her Spanish heritage and to avoid having everybody look the same.
Probably our earliest contemporary portrait of Mary I as an adult:
https://shorturl.at/NfBYW
And a later portrait:
https://shorturl.at/6gnnf
She was almost certainly a redhead. There are some with darker hair, but those are so dark in general that it is likely that they have darkened over time.
Two people with red hair can have a brunette. Hair color is more complex than you learn in high school bio
I need the dumbed down version of how this is so. My understanding has been that if you have a red gene, it is only seen over a blonde gene. And that you need two red genes to be expressed as auburn hair over an also-present brown gene. So maybe two auburn parents could have a brunette child but not a vanilla redhead and someone with more strawberry blonde hair.
No what you need is the more complex version, the dumbed down one is what you are understanding now! Also I am not a geneticist.
It’s not that simple. There are hundreds of genes involved in hair color. And even the most common “red hair gene” generally leads to blond or brown hair in most people with two copies.
https://medicover-genetics.com/red-hair-its-in-your-genes/
(which has links to the primary literature)
LOL no, you’re already at the dumbed down version.
Agree as a blue eyed mother of a brown eyed son who has a blue eyed father.
I have actually talked to geneticists about it! Not because I was concerned, but because geneticists are the kinds of people you run into at children’s birthday parties in Berkeley.
It’s not as simple as Bb or bb like you learn in high school. Other genes influence things like hair and eye color. Mendel was always an approximation and a simplification that works “most of the time.”
Anon @ 1:55 – Exactly.
I am the hazel-eyed mother of a blue-eyed child from a brown-eyed father. There is no doubt that he is her dad and no possibility otherwise, but the number of people who have given me snark that it “isn’t possible” that she belongs to him and then getting judgy at me is too damn high.
@2:11 what you’re describing is possible under even the dumbed down version (you each carry a recessive blue eyed gene) so the people you’re talking to are extra dumb!
I’m @1:55 and my son isn’t supposed to be possible under the Mendel model because his dad and I could only have blue eyes if we both carry two blue eye genes (bb) so the only combination for him would be a blue gene from each of us, which would result in blue eyes for him. But it didn’t, because it’s not that simple.
I don’t know what you’re getting at, but I did find this interesting breakdown on depictions of Mary I on screen: https://www.thetudorchest.com/post/queen-mary-i-on-screen
Really low stakes but important to me! I just bought a Shark flexstyle and I love it, my hair looks so much better, it’s easier for me to hold, so many advantages. However, I’m in the US (120 v) and I travel internationally a lot. I’m about to go to Thailand for business and was thinking of getting one there (220 volt). But I’d need it to work in other 2xx voltage countries too and I notice the UK, EU, Australia, Malaysia and Singapore are 230-240 volts. The internet says that the difference 230 to 220 is “probably” within tolerance, and I have a query into Shark but has anyone here actually used 2xx volt styler in these different scenarios? I find it hard to believe they are making a flexstyle just for Thailand’s slightly lower voltage.
Have you considered buying one on Ebay with a UK or EU plug while you’re still in the US? I did that for another hair tool and I keep that as my international hair tool that I’ve used in multiple countries. You can usually get a good discount because (1) less people want one with an international plug and (2) you probably only need the base and not the attachments so dont necessarily need the full set.
Either way, I think it’s probably fine, but if it’s something you’re worried about I’d rather have one rated for 240 and plug it into a lower 220 voltage outlet than the other way around.
Thank you! Good point about stepping down a bit in voltage is better than trying to step up. Confused a bit about the plug recommendation — are you talking about just buying the base dryer on eBay in the proper voltage? I have every plug adapter imaginable but it’s the base that is delivering the right voltage no matter what flavor of Europe/Asia plug is on the cord.
Yes. Just buying the base dryer piece without the styling attachments. If you search for “shark flexstyle UK plug” or “shark flexstyle EU plug”, I’m sure there will be results on Ebay. It would be an investment to buy the new base, but it seems like it would be less expensive than buying a whole new one as you were planning to do, although maybe Thailand has them cheaper…
anyone ever order from roselili? how is the quality? this blouse popped up on my instagram and i think it’s lovely for the price, wondering how it would be in real life…
https://www.roselili.com/products/eva-retro-v-neck-embroidered-chiffon-shirt?_pos=1&_sid=8f95937fb&_ss=r
Seriously, how much should one tip for pizza delivery? I’m cheap, so I generally don’t do deliveries, but a video I saw in which a driver stated 25% was the new norm was mindboggling and, I believe, delusional. HCOL area.
We tip at least $5 or 20% for any food delivery, whichever is larger. NYC. My assumption is that small orders are basically the same amount of work as large ones, and delivery workers are among the most exploited and poorly paid of any workers I know.
Oh heck no. I routinely order sushi delivery from a place around the corner, which runs about $100 for two of us. I’m not tipping a delivery driver $20 for a 10 minute drive. It’s the same size box regardless of whether it contains sushi or noodles. I tip no more than $10 unless it’s a PITA delivery in some way, like it’s raining or snowing or it’s a big delivery or it’s that special dumpling place that’s only open once in a blue moon and is like 45 mins away. The dumplings might only cost $20 but I tip $20 on top of that because it’s so far.
I rarely order pizza delivery — but when I do, my order is normally 1 pie, and I tip $5.
We do a flat tip (almost always $5) precisely because of your second point. Tipping as a % of the bill makes no sense for delivery unless the order is really big.
what?? no. I mean maybe if the pizza is $10 and it’s the Domino’s guy then $2-$3 gets you to that place…. but that does NOT scale.
I tipped $5 on a 3-box order in rural Connecticut and the driver actually thanked me for being generous. $5 seems like an appropriate amount to me.
25% of a $20 pizza is $5. Not exactly a mind blowing sum.
What pizza is $20 anymore? Even a one topping pizza near me is closer to $30, and that’s before I add on my salad (no protein, another $10) and maybe wings. And there are delivery fees on top of that.
I’m in the Bay Area and had two pizzas delivered by Dominos, tax and a side order of marinara included, for $35 very recently. One cheese, one pepperoni. Are you doing fancy pizza?
I cannot figure out why anyone in the Bay Area is still ordering Dominos! We have really great pizza options here!
I tip 20% on all delivery orders because those drivers really don’t make much.
Nothing fancy but it is from local places not Dominos and the like. They’re definitely more expensive.
Because I like Dominos and/or am feeding children!
The point is you absolutely can get pizza for $20 even in VHCOL areas, contrary to this poster’s view.
Domino’s still runs the two-for-$6.99 each deal out here in NE, so that’s what I paid for a pizza this week. If I’m going for the better, inventive pies at the independent place near me, they cost $15-18 for a 12″.
So no, I’m definitely not tipping the cost of the pizza to get it delivered.
XL cheese pizza which feeds our family of 5 is $17 with tax at our local pizza place (not fancy, but not Domino’s). I’m in a small Midwest city though.
I never tip less than $10 for any delivery and scale it up from there. 25% is normal. Doordash isn’t an easy job. If I can afford to have someone bring a salad to my door, i can afford to tip generously for it.
Ditto. I don’t cheap out on our delivery drivers. (and neither should you.)
Same
I always tip about $10, so sometimes that’s 25% sometimes that’s 10%. I don’t think delivery tips really scale, it’s not more effort to hand me a pizza box vs a box of fancy sushi.
I do 20%
This. I do 20% of the after-tax total. I figure the difference to me is small but the difference to the delivery person might be big. This might end up being close to 25% of the pre-tax total but I call it 20% because I move the decimal point in my head and multiply by 2
After tax??? No, you don’t tip on tax. I don’t even do that in sit down restaurants. Wild.
You should. The dollars you won’t miss add up for wait staff. If you can’t tip well you can’t afford to eat out.
I have no idea why we are still pretending that waiters don’t make good money in major metro areas. In my town, they’re making at least $15/hour before tips. I know healthcare workers who make less than waiters at this point.
Where’s the line? Should I just tip 100%?
I think the question here is about what “tip well” reasonably means, and if/how it’s changing. Tipping on before tax total has been standard for a long time (and I would argue still is).
“If you can’t tip well you can’t afford to eat out.”
That’s a little disingenuous. Tipping reasonably =\= jumping on the endless one-way ratchet of tipping culture.
I worked in a restaurant as a server and a bartender for more than a decade. The norm is to tip a percent of the after-tax total and that’s what the vast majority of people do. If you break out the subtotal from the tax before figuring the percentage, you are in the minority.
We don’t order delivery very often — maybe every two months? — but I get a lot of pleasure out of tipping very generously when we do. It’s usually 25% minimum, but if it’s pouring down rain, terrible traffic, or anything else that makes the trip particularly difficult, sometime I’ll do 30%. I have a friend who DoorDashes for extra cash (he’s a writer), and it’s a grueling gig where he’s often treated like dirt.
Normally $5 on a $20-25 pizza, so I guess 20-25%. I think for a pizza a 25% tip can make sense because the total bill is so small. But in a restaurant I would not normally tip more than 20% (post-tax).
Inspired by a comment someone made on a recent thread about how to support a dying parent, does anyone have any advice on ways you can make an aging mother feel needed? For context, I’m almost 50 and my mom is almost 80. She’s not very fit and starting to have some mild cognitive decline. She really, really needs to feel helpful–she’s a people pleaser and has a lot of anxiety issues–but practically speaking, there isn’t that much she can do to be helpful to me, and her efforts to be helpful tend to drive me nuts and then I feel guilty for being annoyed. Has anyone else found a good way to navigate a similar dynamic?
Do you or do your siblings have children? I am not suggesting she can babysit, but can she play Candyland or color while the adults make dinner or do laptop chores If she is crafty, can you express a “need” for new pot holders or warm scarves to give as gifts? How about going shopping and helping you pick out a new teapot or whatever it is you need that day?
Also if you have kids, the ways you make a child feel useful and important are often the same ways you can help an older adult that’s in decline useful. You ask for their opinion on things, listen to them talk about their interests in an engaged way even if you have No Interest, include them in your life generally.
Also, this is definitely not good for everyone, my grandmother (in her 80s, compulsively helpful people pleaser, mild cognitive decline) lives for her dogs. She has a could little dogs and tending to them is very achievable, keeps her in a routine, helps her feel important, keeps her somewhat active… It’ll probably become A Problem eventually if/when her health seriously declines and we need to re-home the dogs, but it’s been really good the past 4-5 years.
I am in the same boat. I make up projects for my Mother. They are not necessarily things I need but gives her something to do. Last month, I told her that I wanted something bright to hang in my office and sent a craft project for her to do (that I knew she could do). Then sent her a photo of it hanging on my office wall. She showed that photo to all her friends. I didn’t really need something on my wall but it gave her something to do and a way to feel useful. I come up with at least one easy, non-important project for her each month and send her everything she needs to do it. According to her assisted living facility, she lives for those projects.
This is really wonderful of you. You give her purpose, and fill her with pride afterwards. Thank you for doing this.
I’d ask her to write down family history/memories in a journal for you as a keepsake. Win-win.
I love this idea, because it truly is valuable — if she doesn’t want to write it, maybe recording? You can even give prompts –“Id love to learn more about your childhood/what it was like in the 50’s/your extended family” whatever.
What’s your family situation and what’s her living situation? And what are her interests? My mom is slightly younger so she picks up my kids from school 3 days a week, gives them a snack and takes them to an afterschool activity or to the library.
I moved some of their activities to afterschool instead of on the weekends as she does not do well with the kids at her house as they are louder and more active than she can handle without getting stressed out or snappy. It’s not more convenient for me than hiring an afterschool nanny (or necessarily less expensive once I count the activities) but it keeps her occupied and active.
OP here: thanks for the replies thus far. I should have mentioned in my post that I have one child who is 12, and my 2 brothers have no kids. My mom was incredibly helpful when my son was younger, but he is now pretty self-sufficient and at an age where he’s not dying to hang out with his grandparents (or his parents for that matter). We also do not live in the same town; my parents are about a 7 hr drive from us. I am trying to make sure I see them at least every 3 months now that their health is getting more fragile. So this is primarily an issue for when I visit them.
Can you give us more context of what it is that she’s trying to do when you visit her that is driving you nuts, and what her capacity is? E.g., can she cook foods for you that you like– or is that what she’s doing that’s driving you nuts?
For example, she tries to carry my suitcase when I ran 3 half marathons last year and she broke her foot 2x by stepping off curbs and walking downstairs. When you enter a room where she is sitting, she will try to give you her seat, even if there are 4 other open seats. She compulsively tidies the kitchen while I am trying to make myself breakfast, putting things away before I can even use them.
She can cook adequately still, but her ability to plan and implement is weak. E.g., she doesn’t make enough food, starts cooking late so dinner is very late, forgets to go to the store, etc.
Typing this out, I am realizing part of the issue is that I feel like I need to be cooking for them when I am visiting – I feel like that is what I should do to be a good daughter given their age. Logical as that may be, perhaps what I really should do is just let her wait on me when she can. It makes me feel like a heel doing that, especially if my sister-in-law is also visiting and being super helpful trying to do all of the cooking and cleaning. (It almost can become a bit of a competition to see who is most selfless in my family). But I need to keep in mind what my mother’s needs actually are, not what I imagine them to be.
You are thinking through this well.
She wants to feel like she is helping and taking care of you. Try not to get frustrated when she does this. It is so well meaning. Give her a big hug, say “I’m fine… I’ve got this. Thank you Mom.” and let her relax.
Oh, yes… please take over some cooking for her. Maybe have her do one part, and you do all the prep or make the sides/salad. Make sure you take them out one night, and get take out another night.
I’d encourage you to let her do whatever for you that you can stand to have her do. Not carry your suitcase, but fuss over you, give you the good chair, cook for you (with your help). Basically, cede your idea of what ‘a good daughter’ would do and allow her to live out her idea of what ‘a good mother’ or ‘a good host’ does. She has a short time left to be able to be in that role.
Can you and your SIL maybe make a pact to allow her to do these things, while you sit together and feel bad about it? : ) I can only imagine how, if I were in her shoes and still aware to some extent, I’d still be wanting to tidy up, fuss, cook, and take care of people, and how terrible it would feel to me to be told not to do things, in my own house, and be made to sit idly by and let my daughter (my own child!!) take care of me.
(Yes, aging is going to be hard for me.)
Plus, if she’s beginning to lose cognitive function, actions like excessive tidying up might be the ones she’s doing on reflex, that keep some sense of stability in her day.
A few years ago I read about how some adult kids will bring big baskets of clean clothes to the nursing home, and sit and fold and sort the clothes with their older and more frail parents. A lot of older women aren’t used to sitting without something to do, like a pile of laundry, and they liked that this felt homey and domestic and manageable. Of course you’re pretty far so this suggestion might not help, but maybe something similar, like a box of old photos to go through or silverware to polish. She can help if she wants to or you can chat or whatever.
What are/were her hobbies? We asked my artistic grandma do sketches of the grandkids/pets, for example. Or I could see compiling a family cookbook to be a good project for a chef.
I know this sounds crazy but my mom was an ironing champion. It was a calming activity and made her feel useful.
Are there any aviation experts here? The tragedy in DC is so sad and so unsettling. How could this happen?
It’s so awful. I keep thinking about all the figure skating families affected. These kids were teens and twees. Babies. And now they’re gone.
I know, it’s so sad. I watched the national championships this weekend and was really impressed by Maxim Naumov, who placed 4th in the men’s competition. He just lost both his parents (Russian former world champions who were also his coaches).
It’s awful. That poor kid.
It is shellshocking for the figure skating community, especially since a plane crash in the 1960s killed most of the US skating team at the time. The people on this plane weren’t at the highest levels of the sport but they were the future of skating, and it’s just eerie that such a similar thing would happen twice.
This is tragic and also not surprising to anyone in aviation – the number of traffic-control-related “near miss” incidents in US airspace has been high for the last few years. When you don’t fix the underlying conditions (hint: it’s not “DEI”, it’s high turnover, chronic understaffing, and outdated infrastructure) leading to near misses, eventually you get unlucky.
ATC is appallingly understaffed and has been for some time.
That said, I’m not sure ATC is the weak link in this situation. The controller asked and received confirmation that the helicopter had the jet in sight, thus “see and avoid” using visual separation was in place. That’s not on ATC.
No, but if it really was a miscommunication about which jet, I wonder if there should be some verbiage about where the pilot should expect to see it? If that’s even something ATC knows? But if the default were to specify distance and at your one o clock… I guess it probably wouldn’t make a difference in poor visibility with lights everywhere.
Maybe the question is whether to cut it this close in the first place (should helicoptors be expected to duck under the incoming flight paths of landing planes even if this usually goes okay, if that is what was happening).
There usually /is/ verbiage about where to see the other plane – but visual separation is inherently brittle, you can get a catastrophic accident out of fairly-easy-to-make human errors. That’s why commercial aviation as a whole has moved away from it
The NTSB in general does a very solid job, and they usually include systemic & remote causes in their reports (IE not just “Pilot A mistook Jet B for Jet C”) but why the pilot was in that situation in the first place & what could avoid it. It’s concerning to have the president making unfounded allegations about the cause so quickly, and I hope the NTSB isn’t blocked or pressured away from doing their usual, thorough, neutral assessment
What do you mean? Human error happens in all professions, all areas of life, it’s just that the stakes are higher here.
There’s supposed to be a wider margin of error when the stakes are higher.
FAA regulations are written in blood.
And there is, which is why this feels shocking – this is a rare event that keeps getting rarer. I am a lawyer who handled aviation accident matters and the competition for work in that area is fierce because the pie keeps shrinking. That is a good thing, of course, and this is a terrible tragedy for which there will never be an acceptable explanation. We have to always keep making those margins of error wider, and unfortunately, in this arena, that often happens as a result of learning from a tragedy.
Not an aviation expert but I know the S-92 which is a civilian version of UH 60 that crashed as had issues with oil and running dry.
Apparently at the press conference, it was said that the helicopter should have been watching where they are going which matches up with my view on the pictures that the plane was lined up correctly with the runway. I suspect the helicopter flight path was supposed to be much lower and pass under any aircraft landing, or be in another area entirely. Whether the helicopter was in the wrong place due to human error or mechanical issues is the kind of thing which may take a fair bit of time to investigate.
I am wondering whether TFG knows something we don’t or was just speaking from observation.
I don’t know but it was my first thought before the press conference given the positioning of the plane and the reference in the media earlier today that the heli pilots were flying with night vision goggles on a training exercise. A training exercise shouldn’t be at the same height as a commercial aircraft especially in the approach to landing area.
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Helicopters typically take off from taxiways.
Not an expert, but I’m hoping that Kyra Dempsey (AKA Admiral Cloudberg) will eventually write an explanation (she writes on plane crashes and is a very clear writer).
There’s been a lot of media reporting on close calls over the past several years (FAA acknowledges this here: https://www.faa.gov/newsroom/close-calls-and-new-york-times). My understanding is that the pandemic has put a serious strain on staffing, but also on finances, so they’re trying to keep high traffic moving very efficiently but kind of pushing the limits of making that happen. Would love to hear from an expert.
Wow, what a gut check for me. I’ve always assumed Admiral Cloudberg was a man. I’m a little embarassed but also pleased to know I was wrong!
DCA’s airspace is one of the most congested and regulated in the world. Listening to ATC, the helicopter was asked if they had the PSA jet in sight (they confirmed they did) and they were told to cross behind the jet.
At such low altitude, it’s easier than you think to miss seeing that jet. The position lights would have blended in with the DC skyline, and given the apparent approach of the helicopter, I’m not sure they could see PSA’s landing light. My educated guess is the helicopter indicated they had the jet in sight but instead were monitoring another aircraft that was further out.
Horrifying.
Which leads to the question–why was the helicopter allowed to fly in this airspace at all?
Someone I know commented that Black hawk helicopters don’t have to share their flight plan or something along those lines. Is that true? Could that have contributed?
My husband is a pilot, and this is his analysis as well. He listened to the ATC radio recordings that are available, and they support this view.
I’m a flight instructor, and it’s the only conclusion I can come to, given the data currently available.
I heard the same audio and yeah, awful.
The message during the press conference from the WH today is both disgusting and embarrassing.
This. I was military aircrew a long time ago, and was always impressed by the exacting checks involved with every aspect of aviation. We studied mishaps, crashes, incidents, in both civil and military aviation, and the lessons learned, and changes to procedures that resulted. Investigations take a while because future lives depend on a thorough and accurate understanding of what went wrong and why. It’s so, so irresponsible and dismissive to stand up less than 24 hours later and speculate and cast blame like that.
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Not the OP of this, but for me it is that ATC hiring practices and Mayor Pete were to blame. Also a bunch of rambling about how only special geniuses can be air traffic controllers to guide planes into a leeeetle spot, and some reading of DEI initiatives for FAA implying that people with severe physical and mental disabilities were hired to be ATCs, which resulted in the collision.
You nailed it. The jump to DEI as an explanation is just gross. And I would not ever characterize that statement as either calm or factual in its delivery.
The blaming of DEI, the delivery that was neither calm nor factual….both horribly embarrassing and awful.
Are you actually serious in your comment?
The factual errors?
I am speechless. On a Zoom staff meeting, a manager just announced that we were adding yet another weekly meeting and then chided us for not smiling about it. This was a female manager addressing a staff that is 75% female. What the actual eff.
it’s obnoxious but i’m not clear on what the relevance of the female manager or team is?
Women should know better than men not to tell people to smile, because people tell us to smile all the time.
+1
+2
A woman, of all people, should know better than to tell other women to smile.
Yeah I think this is more of a bad attempt at sarcastic joke about “aren’t you happy to have another pointless meeting to take up your time” rather than a “aw sweetie you should smile so men don’t get turned off when they accidentally look at your face”
right?
In context it was obvious that the manager was offended that we weren’t all happy about adding this great new meeting to our schedules. Definitely not a joke.
I think you may not get the sense of humor, but that doesn’t:t make it equivalent to bossman walking by your office and saying randomly “Can I get a smile?” It’s totally different.
People expecting women to be all smiley, as if they have a social and/or professional obligation to put on a smiling face. No one tells men “You ought to smile more” or the like.
I mean, this boss did tell the 25% of the team who are men to smile.
I’m a bit early on this, but I have started looking for swimsuits to replace some old, worn out things. I’m reminded, again, why I keep buying sporty tankinis even though I am very tired of the style.
– My torso is ridiculously long for someone who is 5’8″. I have tried supposedly long-torso suits from many companies and they still ride up! I tried on the famous Summersalt suit, and it was THE perfect length. But there was zero b00b support or nip coverage, and for that reason alone, I can’t understand why it’s so popular.
– A bikini is 100 percent not happening. I’m a bit of a modest mouse, and I am not likely to get over it at this stage in my life.
– I’m a size 14 pear, so proportions are another problem in one-piece suits.
– My hips dictate what styles I can wear, but my b00bs still need support!
– Straight-sized suits were designed for more slender people, and yet my proportions aren’t plus-sized.
Based on this list, I know it sounds like I hate my body. I don’t. I look completely average, so where are other 40-somethings finding cute, fashionable suits that actually fit their bodies?
I find J Crew’s tall suits to run the longest.
JCrew’s tall suits, sometimes in a size up
Tommy Bahama tankinis
Boden tankinis (these run the longest in my experience)
oh and Lands End for serviceable suits that I wear on vacation with in-laws.
One note, I find Tommy Bahama to run big in the cup (like I am usually a C and the XS is the best bust fit), while Lands End runs smaller and Boden in the middle.
Second Boden. I have a long torso and a middle aged body and these are the only ones I like
Helpful to know that Boden runs long. I have had some success with Boden for regular clothes, so this might be my next stop. Tommy Bahama has cute stuff but so far I haven’t found a great fit (seems to run short).
Boden also has D cup sizes, even in one pieces (maybe bra cup sizes more generally…) and I believe long torso options. I’m a short pear and have had pretty good luck with them.
I am short-waisted and a size larger on top than the bottom, so I also love tankinis. I am also super busty and am a huge fan of bra-sized swimwear with actual underwire support. I get suits from lingerie brands like Panache, Freya, and Fantasie from websites like Bare Necessities or Herroom.
I HATE nip coverage, because it means that area stays wetter longer and I hate that feeling. But I’m also not embarrassed by them.
Jcrew, Boden and Athleta are fine but La Blanca is my go to for one pieces – lots of styles available at Nordstrom.
I’m tall and LOVE the Andie suit I got last summer! They have many modest but still interesting one pieces.
Are tankinis still a thing? Higher waisted bottoms with a tankini could give you the coverage you want but might be more comfortable.
not sure if it was just the one suit or true across their brand, but I also have a long torso & have an Aerie one piece that actually fits well / doesn’t ride up. (the one I have has a low back, & cutouts, so doesn’t sound like a match for you, but maybe that brand is one to try?)
Would you be open to trying a different cut of the summersalt suit? I am 5’10” and recently tried “the wave” long torso and “the sea breeze cutout” long torso. The wave offered little in the way of chest support but the sea breeze wrapped around and lifted in a flattering way. I’m a C cup so this may still not be enough for someone with a larger chest I suppose.
The sea breeze is cute, I may try that.
I buy bra sized swimwear from bra brands. So I wear a swim bra and swim pants under a tankini type top. It basically looks like a one piece of the tankini top isn’t too flowy. I don’t care whether it’s out of style. I’m not trying to look like a trendy snack on vacation with my family. I just want my b00bs to stay where they’re supposed to be.
I’m your height but not your build and I think you’d like La Blanca suits for the same reason they don’t fit me (long in the torso). There are frequent discounts.
Speaking of the Shark hairstyling tool . . .
I have thin, fine, straight hair and I think my hair is a weak spot when it comes to my overall polished-ness. I don’t know how to do much with hair, so I always just wear it down. I’ll blow dry it with product, but basically jsut to get it dry and to dry a cowlick into submission.
Could something like the Shark or Dyson help me up my hair game?
I don’t think so. The Dyson Airwrap was a huge waste of money for me. I default to the cheap Revlon dryer brush and it gives my shoulder-length fine hair a smooth blowout. I use Kenra mousse for volume and Ouai hair oil.
My hair is similar. I just upgraded from the Revlon dryer brush to the Shark, and I do think that it’s faster. I like combining the drying with the styling. But if you’re not sure, maybe start with the Revlon? I had mine for 7+ years before getting the Shark, and the price difference is substantial!
Same girl same. My hairdresser has a Dyson and I recently got to use one for a few days a lot a nice hotel. It’s nice, helps a bit with flyaways, but it’s not the cure all I’d hoped it would be. My hair still looks flat and lifeless by the end of the day. The only thing that really helps it look “together” all day is an amount of hairspray that my sensitive nose and skin cannot tolerate.
For me, it’s all about product. For volume, I use Drybar Southern Bell root booster. After I blow dry, I use Oribe Dry Texturizing Spray. The Oribe is the real game changer for my hair.