Tuesday’s Workwear Report: Chloe Dress
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Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.
We’re finally getting glimmers of spring in the Northeast, and I’m ready for bright colors and dresses after a very long, very cold winter. This cotton-blend shirtdress from Tuckernuck will take you seamlessly from meetings in drab conference rooms to drinks on a patio. (Sadly, that’s not how most of my days go, but I’d like to be prepared just in case.)
The dress is $298 at Tuckernuck and comes in sizes XS-XXXL. It also comes in four other solid colors and two gorgeous floral prints.
Sales of note for 4/21/25:
- Nordstrom – 5,263 new markdowns for women!
- Ann Taylor – 25% off tops & sweaters + extra 40% off sale
- Banana Republic Factory – 50%-70% off everything + extra 20% off
- Boden – 10% off new womenswear styles
- Brooks Brothers – Friends & Family Sale: 30% off sitewide
- The Fold – 25% off selected lines
- Eloquii – $29+ select styles + extra 40% off all sale
- Everlane – Spring sale, up to 70% off
- J.Crew – Spring Event: 40% off sitewide + extra 50% off sale styles + 50% swim & coverups
- J.Crew Factory – 40%-70% off everything + extra 70% off clearance
- Kule – Lots of sweaters up to 50% off
- M.M.LaFleur – Earth Day Sale: Take 25% off eco-conscious fabrics. Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
- Madewell – Extra 30% off sale + 50% off sale jeans
- Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 50% off last chance styles; new favorites added
- Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
- Talbots – 30% off entire purchase w/Talbots card
My husband and I are taking a spontaneous trip to Ireland in mid-May! Flights were cheap and we had some time off work. I’m looking for any favorites or recommendations the hive has to share. We are flying in to Dublin and spending 7 nights. I’m considering 3 nights in Galway, 3 nights near cork, and then the last evening back in Dublin before our early morning flight. But open to ideas! Our budget is around $300-500 per night but flexible for the right experience. I was looking at ballymaloe hotel near Cork and it looks fabulous! But limited availability while during our dates. We love outdoor activities, hiking, biking, kayaking, and long hikes of 5-8 miles are the sweet spot. In particular, I’m a big fan of lodging with a good breakfast spread (and even dinner!) so I don’t have to plan as many meals. We stayed at a hotel in Loen Norway once that had the most amazing breakfast and dinner buffet included and I still dream about it all the time.
Thanks in advance!
No specific advice beyond the obvious you’ll find in any travel guide (Cork was beautiful!), but can you post the name of the Norway hotel?
I want to know too!
Hotel Alexandra. It was incredible. Hot tub under the mountains gazing out at the fjords after their incredible dinner buffet. They really undersell the food on their website.
it’s been a long time since I went to Ireland, but I remember particularly enjoying hiking near Giant’s Causeway
We liked Giant’s Causeway area as well. Ireland is gorgeous, people are wonderful, food not so much. Bring a hat and gloves!
Giant’s Causeway is amazing, but it is in Northern Ireland. I think the UK is now requiring permission for US visitors.
I visited Galway years ago and took a day trip to Inishmore on a whim. It was beautiful and I recommend considering it!
We’re heading to Ireland in early June, and have booked a ferry for this day trip – it gets high ratings, so look into it for sure OP. The schedule allows several hours to explore Inishmore, then does a pass by the Cliffs of Moher on the way back to Galway.
Ireland in May is lovely. When I went in May 2018, they had a surprise stretch of hot, sunny weather while we where there. So pack shorts, a hat, and sunscreen in case of fluke weather!
While nowhere near your destinations, we stayed at this beautiful hotel: https://www.mountjuliet.ie/
Haven’t been to Ireland, but in the UK generally, there is an outstanding bed and breakfast culture, as well as historic inns that now operate as restaurants + bed and breakfast. With that budget, you’d likely have many outstanding options. These are usually outside of major city centres though, so it would be a different type of trip. When I’m trying to find them easily, booking.com is the best, although lots also just have their own website.
Ireland is not the UK!
That wasn’t the point of my comment?? It culturally also has B&Bs.
For a fabulous hotel with amazing breakfast in Dublin, look at the Wilder Townhouse. It’s so nice!!
I have no recommendations but it makes my heart happy that someone else considers a trip that’s planned a month out to be “spontaneous”! I am a planner and DH is… not. He’s also resistant to making any decision about plans – like where to go, by which I mean which hemisphere of the globe to go to – until like 3 months before the trip. I’ll give him 2-3 options and ask him to pick one and he’ll hem and haw for months until I tell him he has three options: (1) make a decision by tomorrow, (2) I will make a decision in 2 days, or (3) if he doesn’t accept 1 or 2 then the next conversation we have will not be calm and rational, it will be me dissolving into tears of frustration because he is making this unnecessarily stressful for me and I’m not having the same pro/con conversation that goes nowhere for the 14867th time.
This is so my with my ADHD husband. He considers planning and decision making ‘oppressive’. But what ends up happening is we have crappy vacations because tickets to cool things sell out very far in advance.
I’m the person you’re responding to – Infuriatingly, ticketed things he wants to do always somehow work out for him! Twice we’ve gone to places without making scuba diving reservations in advance, and he has always squeezed us in at exactly the time we’d want to go with the only PADI certified dive shop in a 100 mi radius.
Meanwhile it’s 50/50 on whether we get to do the stuff I carefully plan in advance. Boat tours and other excursions get canceled because of weather and there are no tickets available for alternative times that work for us (usually sold out for months and months). The hotel I booked at the most romantic spot in X location double booked us and had to set us up in some offsite property that is nice enough but not what I was hoping for. The tasting menu at fanciest restaurant in town didn’t transfer over our res when they switched systems and we have to wait 2 hours for a table even though I have the confirmation both on my phone and printed out (in case of poor reception).
This was years ago, but we went on a Hawk Walk, where we took falcons on a walk with a guide and learned about falconry. At the end of the walk we also got to fly snowy owls. It was magical.
https://falconry.ie/hawk-walk/
We stayed at Sheen Falls Lodge and Faith Legg Lodge in November. Both were heavenly and would highly recommend. Activities and hikes and scenery and breakfast buffets galore!
Headed to Aruba next month with DH and our two kids (2nd grade and preK). We will be staying in Oranjestad, but will have a car. Any suggestions of things to do, places to eat? We will be there to celebrate our anniversary, so would love a suggestion for a nice place to have dinner that will still be kid friendly. I’m sure we will spend plenty of time at the pool and beach, but want to make the most of our trip!
We went to Aruba last summer and were really underwhelmed by the food. It’s not a “foodie” island so just go in with that expectation. Our best meal was at our adults only resort but our second best meal was at Chophouse at the Manchebo resort and they allow kids. The food at Pincho’s was good but there was no breeze there so it was stiflingly hot (Aruba is ~90 year round so you really need the breeze). We heard Flying Fishbone was overrated.
Driving was easy – they drive on the right unlike most of the Caribbean, and we didn’t have major issues with parking.
Not what you asked but we saw a lot of turtles snorkeling at Tres Trapi and I think it would be doable with young kids.
We did not find the food in Aruba to be a big draw.
What we liked best – Wacky Wahoo (not beachfront) was our only repeat dinner as we thought had the most consistently good fish. We also enjoyed lunch and the breeze at Faro Blanco and the fresh bowls at Eduardo’s on Palm Beach.
Meh – We did do Flying Fishbone for the novelty of the tables in the sea, and so knew going in the food wouldn’t be the point, and we were right. In general we struggled with quality vs. quantity – like a lot of places were advertising BOGO rum punch, but we would have happily sipped one good rum punch slowly, vs. being given two giant cups of Kool-Aid. Or salads were uninspiring and the restaurants clearly were doing their main business on burgers and similar.
Non-beach activities – we climbed the stairs up Hooiberg (not sure if you’d want to do this with little ones though) and did a walk-hike around the Alto Vista chapel, which could be as long or short as you want, but the combination of so many interesting cacti and the sea was something we hadn’t experienced elsewhere. We are not ATV fans so did not do any of those tours, though there are many!
As far as snorkeling, the “big cat” day sails we saw around were pretty consistently party scenes, but we did see some families hanging out as far from the speakers & bar as they could and enjoying the snorkeling part. We were traveling as a couple so didn’t investigate any targeted at families (I vaguely recall a pirate ship type of thing offered?), though.
Beach advice – we stayed in a villa that provided us our own beach chairs, so we used the public parking at the beaches and the shared public palapas, which can be in high demand. BYO regular type of beach umbrella is not recommended; the wind is too strong for them to stay reliably planted in the sand!
Yeah, the pirate ship is a big thing with families: https://www.jolly-pirates.com/
Agree with everyone else that food was meh.
Water is beautiful, I don’t recall any big waves. I think you’re kids will spend a lot of time playing on the beach and in the water. I got burned the first day and spent the rest of the week trying to avoid the sun. Early morning and evenings are tolerable. It was very very hot and very humid.
There’s a butterfly garden, and it’s filled with butterflies. You’re kids will see the different life stages of a butterfly. They sell some handmade crafts with butterfly wings.
There are some drunken pirate boat tours with snorkeling around sunken ships. You can’t do those with kids.
Have fine!
It was pre-covid, but we had a lovely dinner at Papiamento and it would be fine with well-behaved kids.
Shopping help for something I thought would not be this difficult – a small battery-powered clock to sit on my bathroom counter & be used for travel, so compact & collapsible. Want it to be white or silver. Digital, though would be willing to do an analog face as long as the hands are silent (no ticking!). 3 functions only – display time, have an alarm function, and have an easy-to-press button to light up the screen. Overall, minimal.
I know many use their phones for this purpose but I prefer keeping mine away from the bed & bath when at all possible. Searching has turned up a bunch of cheap junk with questionable reviews, or overdesigned items that wants to tell me the day, date, temp, blah blah blah and as such bulky and unattractive.
My old one lasted 35 years! Purchased originally for a Girl Scout trip circa 1990 so I could know what time it was if I woke up in the dark in the tent! (No, the brand no longer exists.)
I did a quick search and the first thing that came up is the “Bagby MINIMALIST – Silent Alarm Clock.” Looks like it would fit the bill.
Oooh, the Vermont Country Store no-tick alarm clock also looks good:
https://www.vermontcountrystore.com/night-light-alarm-clock/product/78946
Ikea KLOCKIS
To me, Braun is the classic clock for this, maybe because it’s what my parents always traveled with? https://sfeldmanhousewares.com/products/braun-classic-travel-analogue-alarm-clock-white-white It looks like they also make a digital version now! https://sfeldmanhousewares.com/products/braun-digital-travel-alarm-clock-white (both come in other colors besides white)
Reply in mod for some reason, but Braun travel clock!
thanks all! That Braun digital one looks perfect. (Klockis too, but it’s apparently discontinued and out of stock with no shipping.)
I like IKEA clocks for this purpose.
New bathroom new lighting. I didn’t ever notice before but despite having an office job, not being a sun tanner, and regularly trying to use sunscreen on my face (but maybe not being the best at reapplying) I have some of what just be age spots on my left cheekbone by my hairline and above the other eyebrow. I’m pale / ruddy completed, so would like my face not to look like bad camo. Any way to even out my skin tone? Retinoids? Some laser treatment? I need to book a laser treatment anyway to help with the acne-type of rosacea — might that help? Late 40s.
Alexandrite laser – I had it done after pregnancy when a bunch of brown spots popped up (I also did clear and brilliant for melasma, but that’s more for general skin damage not specific spots, I think). For the rosacea it would probably be v-beam laser, which is for redness. A good cosmetic dermatologist will do a consult and lay out all the options.
I’d do a consult but laser would be my suggestion if you don’t mind the $$. I’d expect anywhere between 2-4 treatments – clear and brilliant is usually better for dark spots/melasma and Excel V is better for rosacea redness but most derms will advise on the best options. Mine let me do a 3-pack of sessions and mix and match – 2 of the excel V and 1 of clear and brilliant worked great for rosacea redness and sun damage.
Lasers and a retinoid after you’ve healed to maintain. I’ve done a series of 3 treatments of the BBL and Moxi lasers. Where I live, it’s about $1500 per session. It’s 100% worth it for me with the major improvement I saw in my skin clarity, brown and red spot removal and elasticity. There is no significant down time other than a warm sensation on the skin for a few hours after. Downside is that once you’re in the sun, spots come back, so be diligent about sunscreen and hats.
+1 yes I forgot to mention this. If you go out in the sun, the spots will return!
It’s from driving in the car.
Yes and laser is the cure.
Find a woman who goes by mrs.derm on IG and follow her!
I had brownish spots on the left side of my face, probably from driving. I got a facial and a schmancy spa and they recommended the Eminence Organics Bright Skin line, which says it uses a “natural hydroquinone alternative.” I used the night cream and the daytime moisturizer (with spf) for some months, and the spots went away. No lasers and nothing harsh involved, but it took time.
I discontinued using the line just because it was too pricey, but it was worth it while I still had the spots. I usually bought it from here: https://buynaturalskincare.com/search?q=eminence+bright+skin&_pos=1&_psq=eminence+bright&_ss=e&_v=1.0
My college didn’t have a January term, just a spring semester. But many SLACs and other schools have then. My kid asked what kids did then and the response was vacation or “you could take a class on zoom.” She just about wrote a school off over the thought of more zoom school. Just vacation? Or could you do an internship?
If your kid is attending a SLAC that has a January term, school will be in session in January, and they’ll be in class all day every day, not on vacation or on Zoom.
Are you asking what your kid would do during January term if not enrolled during January term?
Obviously this depends on the school and your daughter should research the schools she’s interested in, but unless things have really changed since I went to college, I can’t imagine that zoom classes are the most common option (that would make no sense). Intensive in person classes, study abroad, and internships are all possibilities.
My daughter’s in-state U doesn’t have J-term but instead she has 3 weeks off starting with the week before Christmas. Most students seem to either stay on campus to work, volunteer, or hang out or go home and also just work, volunteer, or hang out. It isn’t really long enough to do an entire internship although if they have one they may be able to put in internship hours during that stretch.
My in-state U did have J-term. I packed as many classes in as possible which contributed to graduating a year early. Mine were obviously in the pre-zoom era. They did include a mix of classroom settings and asynchronous VHS lectures that required online coursework submissions, quizzes, and exams.
My school had an optional January term. Several online classes and a few in-person classes were offered. I usually took the chance to save a little money and bumped up my work hours. I can’t imagine any employer would want to take an intern for only a month, but if she has an existing internship, maybe she could use the time to take on a special project.
Of course, many of my classmates just took the month to rest, and I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that!
Honestly, if the school only offers zoom classes in January term (maybe keeping the campus shut to save money?), I’d do the same as your daughter and take it off the list. But the school’s website should have more info — maybe they offer in person off site classes, like that’s when the archaeology class with a field work component happens, or foreign languages? And how does participating or not in January term affect graduation timeline?
No where I have worked would have been able to take a January intern, it’s too short and off cycle with the normal intern hiring and placement rhythms, but maybe it would work if she had the connections to set it up independently at a very small place
J term was a huge thing at my school. There were lots of short classes you could take (some regular classes for credit, others were just “fun” classes), lots of activities on campus, and many people also did off campus internships or extended their winter break at home with family. I loved just hanging on campus without the stress of classes. Honestly, many of my best college memories are from this period.
Same here. I was a drama major for a while and we did a play in January, which was super fun.
I work at a university, and I would be very surprised if January classes were held on Zoom. It is standard for the midterm session to be offered in person.
It’s not really long enough to do an internship, but it’s a great time to get some hours in at a part-time job, do a short study abroad experience, or just rest.
Some of my friends had a J-term. They took classes in person, did a mini study abroad program, or worked their usual summer job at home (retail, food service, etc). Overall they considered it a net negative but it wasn’t a dealbreaker when choosing a college.
I’m a college professor, and I do not know of any places that do zoom courses for a J-term. Maybe there are some, but that’s not the norm.
Yes, just vacation. Rest. Regroup. A part-time job to make some money.
If the school is St. Olaf College, please don’t write it off! We had a January Term. Lots of students studied abroad for a month or took an off-campus internship type class for credit. And there were also in person classes on campus. You can also study abroad for an entire semester, and some of those programs cover the January Term.
Your comment just had me think of Golden Girl Rose’s St. Olaf stories. Thanks for the smile this morning.
My daughter is currently at St. Olaf. There are plenty of in-person J-Term courses that satisfy core and major requirements, and I don’t think there are any on-line courses. She really enjoyed the slower pace of J-Term and the chance to focus on a challenging course without the distraction of other courses or ensemble rehearsals during J-Term. The downside is that there are no music lessons during J-Term, which can hinder progress (many St. Olaf students take private music lessons, including non-majors). There are also study abroad opportunities, although you have to pay for those (you don’t pay extra for study abroad during the regular semester).
For students who choose not to enroll in classes, I think “vacation” sounds a little indulgent. I think often it was an opportunity for international students whose families were half way around the world to take a meaningful mid-year break, especially if they were prioritizing US internships during the summer and taking classes other January terms. It also offered some flexibility for competitive athletes. And of course students who got extensions for fall term projects sometimes completed them in January!
Other students did field work abroad, took very intensive language courses, pre-professional courses, or skill based electives in the arts.
I either just stayed home and chilled in January or returned to campus and worked.
With the caveat that I’m 40 so this was forever ago: I went to a school with a January term, and there were shorter classes on campus or study abroad/in another location in the US educational trips that were offered during J term. We were required to participate in 3 J terms for credit in order to graduate, which often meant that seniors didn’t participate in J term (and would use that time to work on job applications, do an internship, etc). I just checked my college website and J term is sitll in person.
I found January erm really enriching – I studied abroad in Costa Rica, and got to take shorter, intensive classes.
My friend’s kid is at UCLA and they start after Labor Day. I am guessing no J term there — maybe it is an East Coast / SLAC thing? A lot of kids start internships before Memorial Day so IDK how you wrap things up sometimes to not mess up things like that.
Not sure about the regionality, but it’s not incompatible with a post-Labor Day start. My SIL teaches at a SLAC that starts after Labor Day and does J-term. They get out around Memorial Day.
UCLA is on a 10-week quarter system. School ends in June.
last time i was at my undergrad i noticed they had “fun” classes being advertised for i think around this time — i thought it was such a clever idea, what a great way to encourage kids to keep their love of learning and introduce hobbies and other things.
Thank you to whomever recommended the Virginian Hotel in Lynchburg. It was amazing and the service was superb (they are mailing us a package of items one kid left in a drawer). Lynchburg reminded me of Seattle in that the streets are at a 45 degree slope in some places by the river. Watch the wheelie bags! The architecture we saw was really impressive. IDK much about the city but it seems like one of those places that is starting a new life after an industrial past. I would stay there again — sort of wish I had a return event I needed to go to there.
I have no reason to go there but Lynchburg is just a few hours from my house so I am filing this away for a random jaunt!
Order the chocolate cake from the rooftop restaurant. You won’t regret it.
I have an interview for a job that I’m really really excited about today. It’s not until the end of the day so I may pass out from anxiety before then. Please send good vibes!
That’s exciting! Wishing you the best!
Sending all the vibes – you’ve got this!!
Good luck!!!
You’re going to rock it!
Vibes! Vibes! Vibes!
BEST VIBES!
VIBES!!!!
Good luck!
Good luck!
all the best vibes, headed your way!
How in the world do you recover from burnout when you can’t just quit your job and the rest of your responsibilities? I’m tired of looking for resources and finding people who practically dropped out of life for 18 months to recover. That isn’t reality for me, or anybody else I know, and it’s frustrating.
All I know is that I can’t keep pushing and have to find some way to back off a little bit without getting fired or ditching my responsibilities.
I wish I knew. The best I’ve come up with is to lean way out and outsource as much as possible, but I think recovering from burn out while working the same job that got you there is really hard if not impossible.
Rest isn’t the only factor to replenishing stress tolerance; the others are sleep, nutrition (and it’s not extra to take the same kinds of supplements a competitive athlete would if you’re pushing yourself to a comparable degree mentally), and exercise/movement.
This actually prompted me to go take my daily vitamins, so thank you for that!
I have definitely noticed a difference from when I take my vitamins and supplements to when I don’t. But they have to be good quality products.
Agree this is true for me. Especially B vitamins, lots of B-vitamins.
Would getting fired be catastrophic for you (worst case scenario, would you be able to get a survival job?). If not, even if it would feel terrible, that opens up a big chunk of space for you to lean way out – is it possible getting fired is a lot less likely than you think? Or you could think of it as intentionally increasing your risk from eg. “20% chance I get fired” to “50% chance”.
You said you can’t quit your job – can you lean out while searching for a new role? Easier said than done in this economy, I know.
Can you throw money at things to buy back some time so you can rest? Meal kits, laundry service, cleaners, etc.
Finally – do you and your employer qualify for FMLA? That would give you a block of time to rest/job search.
A kid-free vacation if you have kids. Solo, if you can’t find childcare to go away with your partner (solo may even be better from a rest and restoration standpoint).
I did a two day yoga retreat and the best part about it was being off screens for two days and spending time in nature. I can’t believe what a difference that made in my well-being. Perhaps try something like that.
Where did you find your yoga retreat? I would love to do something like that for a few days.
It might have been someone who mentioned it here. I went the Retreat in the Pines in Texas which is an easy drive for me. I bet if you do a search you can find out about others in your area.
Take a three week leave. Your PCP may be willing to provide you with disability paperwork if your burnout is having physical manifestations.
But do something during those 3 weeks. I’ve gotten a lot out of the concept discussed here about doing something restorative on days off etc rather than just loafing and watching tv.
This is not the right advice for someone suffering from clinical symptoms from burnout.
I disagree and I actually think it’s applicable to day to day too. It’s counterintuitive but viewing work as something to slog through and lean out from makes it worse for me. When I change my mindset and engage with what I’m doing, the burnout fades.
Do something includes going swimming on a beach, shopping, reading a book in a cafe, whatever. Just actual things that relax you.
Burnout isn’t just fixed with time off. Something has to change at least a little
“Avoid screens and go outside” is perfect advice for someone suffering from screen-induced burnout.
Honestly, I don’t think you can. especially if you have kids. Being laid off with severance was the best thing that happened to me last year.
Solo vacation would be a good start if you can swing it, though.
I would have periods of time when husband worked out of town and I was in trial. Most of our son’s life, he had two engaged parents, but even when he was in elementary school, he understood that sometimes we needed more from him to help around the house.
I think you really do have to drop your standards considerably in some areas. I remember when my youngest sibling turned 6, I was 15, and at that point my mom just stopped doing things for us. Clearly she was burned out from nearly a decade of parenting small children, and as soon as she could drop those responsibilities she did. And there was some adjustment, but it was fine. A 6 year old can do their own laundry (assuming they’ve been taught), a 15 year old can find their own ride to their extracurriculars, we all either cleaned our rooms or lived with the consequences of not cleaning. My mom still fed us, but that was it. And if the dishes weren’t done by whoever’s turn it was to wash, then she didn’t make dinner and we ate leftovers or cereal or toast. Didn’t do us any harm and did my mother a world of good. Obviously this isn’t completely analogous to your situation, but the principle “you need to find what you can drop and drop it” is universally applicable.
I wonder if your 6 year old sibling shares your viewpoint that it was fine for your mom to drop everything. You got 9 more years of having an engaged mother, which seems like a vastly different perspective.
My mom did this when my sister was 18 and I was 14, the summer before my sister went to college. They talk. We don’t!
My mom checked out when I was around 7 or 8. There’s a range of life skills that just didn’t get imparted, some of which I managed to fill in on my own and some of which I didn’t. No amount of time will heal not having an engaged parent at that age.
I had a mother that was trying and failing to be everything to everyone. She was resentful and honestly unreliable for the things that were emotionally important to me at the time. You’re assuming that a burnt out mother that’s still doing everything that caused the burn out is doing a fantastic job. I think he got the best years of parenting, as she wasn’t working through her own stuff while he was a teenager. He’s had more support from my parents than I ever have, but I got enough so it’s fine. He probably needs it more, tbh.
My mom checked out when I was 9 (but she was still an active parent for my 7 year old brother, and still is to this day an active parent to a 31 year old man). My relationship with my mom is bad, a 9 year old should not cook all their own meals, I was 11 before I had the realization I hadn’t gone to the doctor in a while and I needed to figure that out, so I learned how to take the bus and book doctors appointments. I was parentified to the extreme and it was not good. Kids being ‘mature for their age’ or ‘self reliant’ is usually just code for neglect.
You are correct, but I think that in our current parenting landscape, there’s a lot more parents doing far too much than there are parents neglecting their children. It’s a spectrum, and most parents could stand to lighten up a bit and let their kids do their own laundry. Kid should not be making their own doctor’s appointments and I’m sorry that happened to you.
It is very different to step back to allow your child to step up than it is to step back because you’re not managing your stress well enough to parent anymore. We’re all discussing the latter. None of our parents were stepping back for our benefit; it was only for theirs.
Vicarious shopping requested – Does anyone want to help me find an olive green blazer? Inspo is the pic of Keri Russell that CapHillStyle posted recently, but I’m a size 18 in blazers and none of the three linked in that post work for me. I like the Reiss one the best but it’s not on their website (which has more sizes) and the link does not have my size.
I loved that outfit too! Spanx has the carefree crepe wrap blazer in olive, up to 3x. Talbots has a twill jacket (more causal) in olive. dillards has alex marie Liza blazer in an olive color (called loden) up to size 18
Thank you so much! I ordered the one from Dillard’s and the matching pants :)
If you are a Size 18, Reiss will definitely not fit you–their largest size is approximately equivalent to a US 12.
Try boden and talbots. Boden cuts long, so if you’re a petite 18, it’s not for you.
A question about HRT parches.
How do I keep it not looking tatty around the edges? First day on I wore jeans and now it’s blue around the edges (the way any plaster picks up colour when it rubs clothing). I’m new to this, is there a secret? Do I need to cover it, change the position?
thanks
I have no idea about this specifically but you could cover it with either a large band aid that you can remove or clear plastic dressing – it’s usually used for keeping dressing in place but can be used for this too, I’d imagine.
I used to use birth control patches and they were always the same way. Commiseration only! I used mine on my inner hip area which was covered with underwear, which sometimes helped with dye transfer, but not with the bandaid style peeling edges.
There’s no secret, it’s just how they are. I do find the Sandoz generics to be smaller and stay put better than the previous generic my pharmacy had (larger, round, tan).
You can use tegaderm patches over them. That’s what swimmers use. I think you just get used to it looking that way after wearing them for a while.
Getting dressed this morning, I put on a few-year-old hip length, one button, no lapel jacket and felt rather frumpy. Is this style hopelessly out of date? For context, I’m mid-50’s and live in a large-ish midwestern city. My workplace has a pretty low bar for fashion, but I try to maintain a reasonable level of style.
It’s hard for me to picture so I can’t comment on whether it’s dated. But if it makes you feel crummy toss it and consider replacing it with something that makes you feel great or at least like yourself.
I work with. Lot of hip, young people and would say not necessarily, but it depends on what you are pairing it with.
If you don’t feel good in it replace it! With that said, I am still wearing these because as a very short slightly round person, the current on trend styles’ proportions make me feel like I look like a child playing g dress up.
I’m tall, and the proportions don’t work for me, either. I just look like I don’t know how to buy clothes that fit.
Thanks all – I think it just doesn’t pair that well with the skirt I’m wearing. I’ll keep it in the “just fine but not for days when I want to look my best” category :)
Most of my jackets don’t work with my pencil skirts, but work beautifully with my full length pants.
Help me shop! I want to find a cute little watering can for my office succulents, cute enough that it can sit out and be decor in its own right. I do need it to be small, maybe holds 8 oz. water tops.
There are some great options local to me but they are all huge or heavily cottagecore, while I’m thinking more geometric, abstract, minimalist sculpture. Thank you!
IKEA! The Moma store also has some cute ones, bug you can’t beat IKEA for price and they really do know their plants. I have the first one that comes up and it’s held up great for several years now. https://www.ikea.com/us/en/search/?q=watering%20can
There is a mini Haws watering can – the copper one is soooo pretty. The 1 pint is probably what you’d want. I’m in Canada and they are findable at the types of places you’d expect – fancy garden stores. https://haws.co.uk/collections/copper-collection
I have a big Haws watering can I love.
I have one sitting on the shelves in my office and I found it on Amazon. Unfortunately, it’s larger than what you want. Maybe something like this would work for you? https://a.co/d/5mZHZW2
Go to a local nursery/garden shop. they will probably have cute ones (i’ve gotten some at mine) and you keep at least a little money in your community. plus you might find another plant or two “follows you home.” :—)
If you’re not specifically wanting a watering can as decor, you can just use a cup.
I’m trying to figure out what the right order is to do some things.
I’m getting a pedicure with a color that matches the dress for my father’s wedding, so I can wear open toe shoes . I’m also planning to get a spray tan.
What is the best way to get these done so I’m not messing up either one? I’m kind of assuming pedicure first then tan, since the former involves exfoliating scrubs, but I don’t know.
I think this is right. I did spray tan then pedicure for a wedding a few years ago and it turned out okay, so I don’t think this is that consequential, but I would think pedicure then tan is the ideal order of operations.
+1 agree on both points. Pedicure then tan is ideal but the reverse order did not, in my experience, result in bright white feet on tanned legs.
Always always nails then tan
Looking for business casual third pieces. I work at a non profit thats jeans only on Fridays or if you’re doing more manual work. In the spirit of an “all hands on deck” nonprofit, some days are meetings with donors and some days are rearranging the warehouse.
I have a few fashion blazers and a denim jacket so I’m set there . Looking for other options.
A tailored blazer would be out of place most days.
Also looking!
Someone (here?) pointed to a linen bomber at Evereve the other day, and it looked very seasonal with a fresh silhouette.
Evereve has a ton of great casual third pieces. The linen bomber looked too much like a 1980s Members Only jacket on me, but I really like the Camp Jacket.
My 12y daughter and I are going to Lisbon, Portugal this summer. Looking for recommendations on what to do, restaurants, etc.
I absolutely love Lisbon! I think it is one of the most underrated European cities. Go to Time Out Market, Sintra is a must, Tower of Belem, Cascais, eat at Cervejaria Ramiro, eat all the pastel de nata, consider going on a boat ride, and go to LX Factory.
https://www.cervejariaramiro.com/
I loved Time Out Market so much.
Yes to Sintra! So cool.
If she’s mature enough, go for lunch or pastries at JNcQUOI Avenida and then wander through the Fashion Clinic to gaze at all the designer goods. Stroll up and down the Avenida da Liberdade for more window shopping.
Ride the No. 28 tram. I nearly didn’t go despite all the recommendations, but it was a lot of fun!
Other lunches I enjoyed were https://pils.pt/en/ and the Rua Portas location of https://fabricacoffeeroasters.com/our-locations/
LX Factory is fab. But in general, it’s a great city to wander and stop for iced coffee or ice cream. Where are you staying? The big hotels near the Oceanarium often have books. We love the chain salad place, whose name is currently escaping.
Honest Greens?
Of all things, both my husband and I loved the Coach museum- like, horse and coach! Near or in Bellem area. They have all these coaches from different time periods and super clear concise descriptions of what they were used for. A fun way to get a tiny bit of history and context while you admire really old ornate transportation!
How do you ghost/not make plans with someone who is persistently trying to make them with you? Details: I have a male friend through a social activity. We have similar birthdays, and he has proposed birthday drinks. I have been non committal but generally positive “oh, that sounds fun, but I’m recovering from surgery/busy time/etc.” I want to stay friends with this person , but with clear boundaries where we just do our social activity together, and never 1-1.
He keeps bringing up these drinks and I just want to say AHHHH! WHY DON’T YOU TAKE A HINT?!?! but that would be rude and probably friendship ending. It’s not possible to rope in another person from our social group to this activity because everyone else is going to great effort to see him at a party, but I’m not available for the party due to a wedding.
Is there some magic phrase I can break out to bring this to an end?
No thanks, I’d rather just hang out at our activity
+1. Some version of this. Maybe “that sounds fun in theory, but to be honest I’ve found that I just don’t have the time/energy for more than weekly activity.” (Could add you’ll let him know if that changes.)
I don’t think you gave a hint that you don’t actually want to have birthday drinks – you said you wanted to have them! No wonder the poor guy is confused.
This. You said it sounds fun! You need to be direct if you don’t want to go. Otherwise, even if everyone else is seeing him at the party, I think it would be totally fine to invite one of them to the drinks if you would be happy to go if there were a group.
Maybe this is generational, but if someone tells me they aren’t available for a plan or demurs on setting a time without making a specific counter proposal for when they are free, that is a sign that they are saying “no” to the plans in a polite way.
I think it might be regional. I’m in the south and have the same understanding, as do the other people I hang out with. I know some people here will say we’re being passive aggressive, but it works just fine for my friend group.
No this is just you being a weenie and wanted the world to give you a pass on actually owning your decisions.
+1000000 Woman up, OP.
I agree with the OP. This is a societal script or whatever, where you decline plans in a way that does embarrass the asker. The downside I suppose is that not everyone catches on, but like it or not, it’s a thing.
It might work generally in your circles, but it’s not working with this guy, so… I agree with “sounds fun in theory, but honestly I only have the bandwidth for Activity!”
Eh my friends and I regularly say that to each other and mean it. Maybe it’s different if you already have an established relationship vs trying to set up a new friendship, but I still think it’s confusingly vague.
But with the context that he’s trying to date you, I think you just need to be more direct.
Maybe an ask vs guess culture thing? I don’t think it’s generational or even regional, necessarily, I think some people are just raised to be more direct than others.
It’s not polite! I find that kind of response to be extremely rude. Just say what you mean. :)
In you situation, I’d probably pose another suggestion, like, let’s go grab coffee/pancakes after our long run on Saturday. That way you’re kind of just extending your social activity (in my head, it’s run club, because that’s what I do) in a one-time way, and not creating a separate event. You could invite others to this, I would think?
Also, what is the reason you don’t want to do drinks? There might be an option there. For me, I don’t really HH with many people because it’s not really my jam and I want to get home to my kids in the evening. Could you just say you’re not really a “do drinks” kind of person? (OR whatever the actual reason is, if it could be shared?)
Unfortunately, our social event is skiing and we are now past the end of our ski season, so I wouldn’t otherwise see him again until December.
The reason I don’t want to get drinks with him is that it is too “date-like” for my preferences. He is single, I’m not, and I’ve heard from others that he finds me attractive. He knows I’m not available or interested and he hasn’t done anything inappropriate, but still. His personality is on the clingy/demonstrative side, he gets his friends small gifts, etc, and at times it is just too much. Hard pass on the 1-1 hang outs.
If this is the case & you are truly not into dating him [this is where he is trying to get to], you should worry less about hurting his feelings or the friendship becoming more distant.
Just a simple – see you next season & ignore.
+1. With this added info from OP, just say no thanks, see you in December.
You’re free to use your words and say no literally any time. You’re a big girl.
lol I know, but I guess I’m trying not to be an asshole? This guy would say he has no interest in dating me, and our social club is a small place. I don’t want to piss him off, especially since come December, I’d love to have lunch with him in a group of 10 people after morning ski lessons, you know? Just not 1-1 in April at a fancy cocktail bar.
If it’s true, just say “Sorry, I don’t do one-on-ones with guys.”
“Hey John, I’m not going to be able to fit drinks in but I look forward to seeing you again when the snow flies” and move on
You’re more of an asshole if you’re not direct with him.
I don’t know…I think there’s something inappropriate to not taking the hint in this situation! In my world, your behavior is a clear hint, and I think given this additional context, he should have known it. I think I might be okay being a little bit rude or blunt, even at the risk of impacting the “friendship” (because what kind of “friend” puts you in this situation?)
If by not available, you mean in a relationship, can’t you just invite your partner along? If you really don’t want to spend time with him at all (and I can see why you might given his inability to take a hint), then just decline, but if the issue is that it feels too datelike, that would seem to take care of it.
Can you invite your partner to drinks?
If you really don’t want to meet him, just say that. Clearly this way isn’t working. It’s a long time until December, hurt feelings will settle down by then .
You didn’t demur though, you affirmatively said you wanted to do it! Demurring would’ve been, maybe idk gosh I’ve been so busy.
Maybe, “I thought the whole group would go out for bday drinks but sadly I’ll have to miss [event]. We’ll all have to get together next season! Have a great summer!”
Yeah exactly! I believe in a slow fade when you don’t want to see someone again. But a slow fade is like “I’m not really sure about my availability in the next few weeks.” Not “Oh I would love to do that, but I have to do XYZ this weekend.”
OP’s comments sounded way more like the latter, which is what I say when I *do* want to see someone.
clearly he wants to take the friendship outside of class. I am doubting there’s a way to be both more clear (which you need to be for this to stop – not continually saying “great idea but” a one-time excuse) and not hurt his feelings at all.
It’s possible that he’s being obtuse on purpose, exploiting your being conditioned to be “nice”, and trying to wear you down.
It’s also possible that he’s not caught on, if you have been very enthusiastic and sorry, however insincere.
A third possibility, ask vs guess culture in combination with one of the above.
I do think it’s very possible to be friends with people who are paired off, and do go for drinks with the partners of friends, or friends with partners, but there’s no need for you to want to, and if you don’t want to with this guy, that’s enough of a reason!
You will probably have to stop being enthusiastic. It’s okay to say, oh, sorry that doesn’t work for me, or no, I can’t make it – without further explaining! You don’t have to have a reason that’s good enough for him! You can just say no while being friendly to the level you would be in the group setting.
Good points here, I think some guys do pull the innocent act when a woman they’re interested in is clearly not interested but too nice to shut them down completely.
Be direct! Christ your lack of communication skills is baffling. Giving ‘hints’ and requiring people to ‘read between the lines’ is not kind it’s cruel.
This.
Yes, there is a magic phrase.
“Sorry, I can’t. See you next season!”
i’d mention the partner every time he texts you. sorry i can’t, the next few weeks are crazy for us!
Going to Kansas City in a few weeks and looking for BBQ recommendations (or any restaurant recommendations). It’s just me but could also be up to 4 people (if I feel like being social). Staying in Country Club Plaza area, will depend on uber. Thank you!
Watching with interest! Also planning a trip soon.
The classic is Joe’s Kansas City Bbq. There’s a reason they started in a gas station and now have restaurants all over the city.
Jack Stack is the powerhouse. They have been around a long time and have consistently good food. If you want burnt ends, they have about the best.
Q39 is the current up and comer in the local BBQ scene. They are relatively new in comparison to the others, but that means they haven’t been around for 40 years. They are good for staples, as well as trying some new stuff.
Thank you much! I was hoping you would be reading today.
These are all great! I also loved Arthur Bryant’s when I visited KC a couple years ago. Have a great trip!
What are your favorite (relatively easy) desserts you’re making for Easter? Looking for something new to bring.
I make a keylime pie that is wildly easy and spring like. I do the modification in the comments, four eggs. if you buy key lime juice it takes 5 minutes to get this in the oven. extra credit for fresh whipped cream but reddiwhip works too.
https://www.allrecipes.com/recipe/12698/easy-key-lime-pie-i/
ok this sounds amazing and my dad loves key lime pie. score!
Mud pie, “resurrection rolls”, and sugar cookies are my favorites.
The easy in this case is relative to some other pastries I’ve made over the years for my Hungarian-heritage in laws, but Gerbeaud Cake. You do have to bake several layers, but otherwise it’s just jam and melted chocolate. All can be done in one afternoon, and it’s soooo delicious.
What are your best tips for cleaning your iPhone for storage space? We have iCloud storage shared with my family but for some reason my storage is 3x higher than everyone else’s – not sure if it’s multiple devices or what. I looked yesterday and it said 70g/128g used on my phone, so I tried to take iCloud off and then half of my photos disappeared. So I tried to download the photos but turned iCloud back on and now my phone has no storage.
Settings – General – iPhone Storage should give you the breakdown of what’s taking up space on your device itself.
The whole point of iCloud is that you don’t need to have your photos taking up space on your phone. They’re in the cloud! You can re-download them when you need to.
but it feels like it’s taking up extra space somehow in the cloud. Every time I log in to iCloud on my PC it seems completely unsorted and unsortable, whereas my phone has folders and albums. Is this just a PC/Mac problem?
Also paying for Dropbox, which is how I usually get stuff from my phone to my computer and then sorted.
Shopping help please! I’m looking for a phone lanyard to keep my phone connected to me in high wind/heavy tourist spots. Whenever I’ve taken photos on rooftops or hills on past trips I’ve been terrified my phone will blow away, so I want a lanyard I can wear around either my neck or wrist that is strong but still looks cute. I have seen sporty ones, but I will be in cities rather than more outdoorsy places and I don’t want it to scream “tour group.” Any help would be greatly appreciated!!!