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Coffee Break: Daily Brush Cleaner Spray

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Sephora Daily Brush Cleaner Spray

Hat tip to the reader who suggested this Daily Brush Cleaner Spray from Sephora — I ordered it in the recent 30% off sale (ends tonight!) and am hoping this will be the answer to my relatively lazy brush cleaning schedule.

The spray is $16 full price at Sephora.

Sales of note for 4/24/25:

  • Nordstrom – 7,710 new markdowns for women!
  • Ann Taylor – Friends of Ann Event: 30% off your entire purchase, including 100s of new arrivals
  • Banana Republic Factory – Up to 50% off everything + extra 25% off
  • Boden – 25% off everything (ends 4/27) (a rare sale!)
  • The Fold – Up to 25% off
  • Eloquii – Spring Clearance: Up to 75% off + extra 50-60% off sale
  • J.Crew – Mid-Season Sale: Up to 60% off sale styles + up to 50% off summer-ready styles
  • J.Crew Factory – Extra 50% off clearance + extra 15% off $100 + extra 20% off $125
  • Kule – Lots of sweaters up to 50% off
  • M.M.LaFleur – 3 pieces for $198. Try code CORPORETTE15 for 15% off
  • Rothy's – Final Few: Up to 50% off last chance styles; new favorites added
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off
  • Talbots – Friends & Family Event: 30% off entire purchase, includes markdowns

111 Comments

  1. This is something I really don’t need to over think but.. alas…

    I just got a new iPhone 16 Pro and need a case. I’ve almost always defaulted to the apple cases. I generally beat the snot out of my cases (but, knock on wood, not my phones – never had a broken phone or screen in my nearly two-decade long ownership of a smart phone), so wondering if there’s a lower cost alternative out there but that is generally kind of reliable/durable. Any preferred brands that aren’t Apple or OtterBox? I’ve liked the sleek, simple Apple-branded style in the past.

    1. I like Smartish because it has a card holder on the back. But they’re not inexpensive, either.

    2. Did they give you anything for muscoskeletal? Even if it’s just Advil, take it as prescribed for a few days. If the pain isn’t improved significantly, insist on cardiology. A guy in my extended friend group, same age as you, had vague back pain that went on and on for weeks. Slow walking of testing and then bam they were like you need a bypass tomorrow morning for multiple blocked arteries – initial blood work, cholesterol etc were normal. So unless it improves fully, don’t let it go.

    4. I drop my phone All The Time, and I’ve had good luck with the “tough” cases from Society 6. (I also put tempered glass on the screen.) The only downside of Society 6 is the practically infinite number of options, it’s a total time suck.

    5. Pela is made in Canada out of compostable materials. I can get a couple years out of each one. They have that liquid that you pour on the screen to protect it. But they’re not an Otterbox, for sure.

    6. I have a ten dollar case from amazon and a glass phone screen protector. It works just fine for me, and I get to swap the colors out whenever I want.

  2. Not looking for a substitute for medical help, but would love to hear if anyone has dealt with something similar as I don’t know whether to drop it or keep pursuing.

    I started getting chest pains on the left side about 10 days ago. I had had a mild cold before but no real coughing or anything. The chest pains seem to be getting worse, and are pretty constant. Not worse with exercise. I went to my PCP and had an EKG and labs. All normal. No high blood pressure. So the doctor wasn’t worried about it. Said maybe it’s stress. It’s true that I am very stressed right now. However, I also have a family history on the maternal side of heart disease, although with a slightly later onset (60s, and I’m 46). I get that they don’t want to refer me to a cardiologist if all initial tests are fine. Would you push to see an expert? Or just accept that it could be stress, or something musculoskeletal?

    1. No advice. When this was happening to me I ended up getting an x ray too (came back all clear). Then about 2 months later the pain stopped so I just gave up. Honestly it seems like the medical systems goal is to squeeze expensive tests out of you and then say you’re fine go away.

        1. But women are always cautioned that our chest pain is less likely to be thoroughly worked up than men’s chest pain.

      1. I actually tested because my son was coughing so much (presumably with the same thing), and it was negative.

        1. I had costochondritis after my last (otherwise super mild!) covid case. Which is basically rib tissue inflammation (I’m not a doc, but it’s something like that). I also went to several doc’s to ensure it wasn’t a heart thing and got chest x rays. It went away after a couple weeks. Look that up and see if that resonates maybe? I’m sorry- it’s scary to not know!

    4. Did they give you anything for muscoskeletal? Even if it’s just Advil, take it as prescribed for a few days. If the pain isn’t improved significantly, insist on cardiology. A guy in my extended friend group, same age as you, had vague back pain that went on and on for weeks. Slow walking of testing and then bam they were like you need a bypass tomorrow morning for multiple blocked arteries – initial blood work, cholesterol etc were normal. So unless it improves fully, don’t let it go.

    5. I’d be pushy. Maybe ask for an echo? Then you would be in contact with the cardiology department for follow-ups.

          1. That is not the appropriate next test. If there is concern that the chest pain could be due to cardiac ischemia, the next step is doing a Stress Test.

            Usually, the doctor would ask if the chest pain is worse with exertion, relieved with rest, which is classic for concerning cardiac chest pain. There are many other associated symptoms, which can vary for men/women. Your PCP should have taken a detailed history about when the pain comes, what accompanies the pain, what makes it better or worse, how long did it last etc..

            OP if you have any risk factors for heart disease (ex. high blood pressure, high cholesterol), family history of heart disease, recent menopause etc… than just consider making an appointment with a cardiologist if your PCP is not concerned. In addition, if you have any other unusual medical diagnoses that make you a bit more complex, just find a cardiologist.

            What I would probably do in your position is watch my symptoms, and if there seemed to be a correlation with activity, I would see my PCP again and demand more work up.

            I had an episode of Crushing Chest pain, so severe that I thought…. this is it. I was unable to do more than take an aspirin/inhaler and hope I wasn’t going to die. This was the first time in my life when I realized living alone, and near a really, really terrible community hospital was a bit of a life risk.

            I now have a cardiologist (a woman!), who immediately did an EKG in the office, and ordered a stress test. But I have additional history of autoimmune disease that both puts me at risk of other inflammatory causes of chest pain, as well as of heart disease. There is a possibility that I am having inflammation around my heart and that also I have an unusual type of inflammation around my chest wall/sternum/ribs (costochondritis) that can cause symptoms as severe as a heart attack. And my female cardiologist told me the next time it happens go straight to the ER, and call her if I can, and to NOT TELL THE ER doctors that I might have costochondritis, or else they might dismiss my pain and not rule out the “bad causes”.

            When your own cardiologist tells you that as a woman, your chest pain is likely to be dismissed, it’s very unsettling.

    6. What kind of insurance do you have? Do you really need a referral? If not, I would just make an appointment with a cardiology practice directly. You don’t need to wait for permission or a referral depending on your insurance.

    7. I’m not sure if it’s the same type of pain, but sometimes when I’ve been dehydrated many days in a row I get severe chest pain when I’m curled up (so when sleeping and waking).

      1. Same, I get chest pain when I’m dehydrated (illness, hot weather, etc). I’ve been to the ER for an EKG and CT with contrast, which looked normal. They told me to drink gatorade or liquid IV for a couple days. I was also a bit short of breath after a recent cold but it went away within a week. If the pain is getting worse when you’re fully hydrated then push for a referral.

    8. I actually do not get that they don’t want to refer you to a cardiologist if all initial tests are fine. If you presented to the ER they’d have worked you up more before declaring this stress or musculoskeletal. It’s nice that you don’t have arrhythmia or elevated cardiac enzymes, but there’s more to testing than that, and a lot that can go wrong (and cause pain) without showing up on those tests.

    9. I mean, I’m the girlie everyone got mad at for being reluctant to go to the ER for chest pain (Omg I did in the end it’s fine) but even I would press for further follow up on this!

    10. I’m not a doctor, but had similar symptoms several years ago! My PCP ordered a bunch of tests (EKG, MRI, chest x-ray, mammogram) to rule out other stuff, and then referred me to a sports medicine doctor. He determined that it was costochondritis, which is inflammation of the cartilage between the top rib and the sternum. It mimics a lot of symptoms of cardiac issues, and there’s not a lot you can do to treat it, but it was reassuring to get the diagnosis. (FWIW, Voltaren gel, which is available OTC for arthritis pain, was the thing that helped the most until the pain went away on its own.)

      I was also going through a really stressful time, and feeling like I was having a heart attack all the time definitely didn’t make me LESS stressed, so it was a pretty unpleasant situation. Long story short, if your doctor has ruled out other stuff and thinks it might be musculoskeletal, ask for a referral to sports medicine to see if they can assist.

    11. Did they rule out pleurisy? My spouse now develops it any time he has a respiratory illness. The first time, he thought it was a heart attack.

  3. literally falling asleep at the office today. what do you do to perk up when you cant keep your eyes open at work?

    4. If you have a door, shut it and nap for 15. I’m serious. If not and it’s that bad, if you have a car, go nap in it for 15.

  4. What would you say – litigator for government, trying to move on like everyone but honestly don’t want to litigate and want to move career to a specific niche like tax. So I’m networking, in a professional group. I wrote an article on a tax issue. Open to all on LinkedIn but notably the only people who read it were the niche tax people, while my litigator friends and coworkers from my former firms and government scrolled past. Totally fine. My closest friend who does plaintiff side employment and isn’t a numbers type person at brunch this weekend in front of like ten people goes oh yeah your tax article, I’ve been saying that’s an issue for months. She was totally dismissive and acted like so what that’s a baby issue. It very much is a tax nerd issue that most aren’t even aware of. I thought – BS, I’ve never heard you talk about these things, why didn’t you write it then. Of course I politely nodded. Do you say anything when you feel back of the handed?

    Very much not my personality to argue but was left thinking WTH you bring up something I did and then dismiss it? Even my DH noticed and later was like wow what’s her problem and he tends not to notice much.

    2. Honestly I’ve had friends act this way any time I’m doing something or making progress towards a goal. I can’t even say they aren’t friends because we can BBQ together and talk about tv and it’s all good for years but as soon as I make any progress towards anything I want no matter how slight or how unrelated to what they do – a comment comes out. It’s typically their insecurities about where they are at – nothing to do with you.

      There are levels of friendship – she isn’t a support you always ride or die friend. Now you know and you can engage accordingly.

    3. Was she drunk? I’m only half-joking; that’s such a bizarre interaction that I’m wondering if she was too deep in her mimosas.

    4. It sounds like an incredibly awkward engagement on her part. On the side of trying to give your friend the benefit of the doubt, perhaps she was trying to show interest in what you wrote while simultaneously speaking on a topic she really didn’t understand. Either way, I imagine being very frustrated were I in your shoes. Sorry you had to experience that.

    5. I know, not at all the point of your story, but what are you hoping for job wise? I’m in tax litigation, and everyone I know is saying the field will be on a hiring freeze/cut for years with all the cuts at IRS. So, I’m looking for other areas to explore.

  5. Does anyone know if Sephora is still blacklisting shoppers who return things purchased online? I got a bunch of stuff at the sale but a tube of mascara arrived with barely any product in it. I feel like I should get a replacement but I’m concerned they’ll block me from online shopping — which isn’t worth $20 to me. It’s been a while since I’ve had any issues so idk if they’re still doing this?

    1. I would imagine they’d treat a prompt request for a replacement differently from a refund request. On the other hand, IME if one tube doesn’t have any product in it none of them do.

    4. My aunt is famous for buying and returning all manner of things and it was only recently that she’s been blocked by any store. So much so that she asks local and visiting family members to run errands with her and then return on her behalf

    5. i always return 80% at least of what i buy and haven’t been blacklisted. if my local sephora doesn’t have it and their policy is you can return things then i’mma order them to try at home and return what i don’t want.

  6. Odd question but how do you buy a belt? I only own one and it’s fraying. Just want a cheap one in case this just breaks one day. Target has what I want but they aren’t one sized – they are XS, S, M, L etc. If I’m an XS say a 2 pant size, so I buy an XS belt or a S because presumably a belt is bigger than a pant and then you tighten it to where you need?

    1. Unfortunately I think it’s going to totally depend on the specific belt you’re buying. Look for a size chart with actual belt measurements, which may or may not be available depending on retailer and the specific item.

    2. the letters are meaningless without knowing the length and where on your body you want to wear the belt. like a belt designed to fit at the waist over a sheath dress is something I’d buy 2 sizes smaller than a belt designed to wear over jeans at the hip.

      1. oh and the downside of buying one that’s too long is (1) you’ll need to punch your own holes, and (2) you have a long unwieldy dangly stretch of belt to deal with. So you want to try to get it right.

    4. Measure the length of the one you have that you like, and then look for a belt with that length (if you’re ordering online).

  7. Kudos to Harvard for showing some b*lls. If the richest university in the nation (world?) can’t stand up to Trump, then who can?

    1. Seriously. I was going to delete the email I got from them today, and then clicked…. What a pleasant surprise.

      I figured if they didn’t fight this, who would?

  8. My boyfriend and I are getting engaged this year. With all of the economic uncertainty and tariffs, coupled with the fact that my boyfriend is on an H1B, I really don’t want to spend 5 or 6 figures on a huge wedding. It seems wasteful and silly in this environment. His brother’s wedding was beautiful, but definitely the most extravagant event I’ve ever been to, and cost well into six figures. The thought of planning such a lavish event and spending that kind of money (even if it’s our parents) just feels crazy to me, but in our city it seems like you can’t have a wedding for less than $100k without it reading as a ‘cheap’ approximation due to how marked up venues are.

    All this to say, I feel like I’d like to get married at our city’s City Hall with our parents or closest family, and then get a nice dinner after, just the 8 of us. So eloping, basically. Has anyone done this? Is there a reason it would be a bad idea? The only thing I can think of is that his family is extremely well-known, and we’d need to perhaps signal socially that we are now married. I feel like an Instagram post at city hall could suffice for this, though would definitely deviate from the huge amounts of photos of lavish weddings our social group typically posts. However, I can’t imagine spending $200,000 just for an Instagram post to signal you’re married.

    1. You can dress up (almost) as you would for a wedding and do a nice photo shoot near city hall or in a nearby park. Depends on how pretty your city hall is. I saw a gorgeous one where the bride is in a sari and the groom a suit, black and white, in the old classical building.

    2. You’re way overthinking this. Plenty of people get married at city hall then take their immediate family out to dinner. I know people who did this due to budget reasons, family drama, illness, or just because it’s what they wanted. It’s only a problem if you make it one.

      Don’t register for gifts, mail announcements beforehand, plan a shower, or ask your friends to attend a bachelorette party. Draw a firm boundary on the guest list so no one complains that Aunt X was invited but Uncle Y wasn’t- stick to parents plus siblings and their SOs. If you’re genuinely worried about social media announcements or how people will read into the budget you need a break from Instagram.

      1. +1, especially to the part about taking an instagram break

        We got married at an open air chapel in the mountains, only immediate family, went out to a nice dinner afterwards, and done. I spent money on what mattered to me: a pretty dress, gorgeous flowers, and a photographer who got me. My husband bought a new suit. It could have just as easily been at city hall. Nothing about a city hall wedding says you can’t dress up, you can’t have pretty flowers, and you can’t have great pictures.

    3. I’m in my 40s and have had friend’s weddings run the gamut from backyard BBQ potluck, to Saturday night live band/fireworks/black tie event. At the end of the day, you’re still just as married at city hall as you are at a fancy venue. Do what feels right to you and your fiance. Anyone who makes a stink or gives you side eye is saying more about them than they are about you.
      Extra bonus – if you and your fiance can afford to pay for all of the elopment costs (dress/tux, photographer, invites, food, flowers) then you get to have the final say in all of those things without having to bow to family pressure!

    4. I know many people who have done this, and they’re all very happy with the decision.

    5. I don’t comment often, but I wanted to jump in to support your elopement. My partner and I hated the idea of having a big wedding. Both of us have parents who can’t really travel and we didn’t want to pick one over the other. In addition, the stress of planning a big wedding seemed terrible to me. So we went to the courthouse and told everyone afterwards. If you get a nice (white?) dress and take some pictures with your families (especially with a professional photographer), that will be legible as married to most people. Especially if you talk about how “intimate” the experience was, I don’t think most people would think anything of it. Your wedding should be for YOU AND YOUR PARTNER, not anyone else. You could splurge for a nice dinner for your families and a photographer for less than $5000, probably.

      You did mention the visa situation. The photos may help with a green card application as you may have to “prove” that your relationship is “real.” But talk to an immigration lawyer.

      I think most weddings are excessive and too expensive, so I’m not unbiased here. But celebrate your relationship in a way that makes you happy.

    6. will your guy wear a wedding ring? if he won’t then it’s a problem. but if he will then i think this just comes up naturally the next time he posts a picture somewhere or turns up with a ring and says we eloped.

      OR you take a picture of your hands and your rings to announce you eloped. easy peasy, no further styling needed unless you want to.

    7. If his rich fancy family wants a big wedding they can pay for it. If not, you just pick a date and invite people.

    8. Mentioned this on my post this morning, but I did a wedding for under $2k in 2019, had at least a hundred people show up to the reception. It was a lot of work, since I did a lot of things myself instead of paying for it, and I leaned on community support to fill in the gaps, but it was a lovely event and I wouldn’t have had it any other way. It certainly leaned more rustic, and felt like a casual get together at a community park, so I wouldn’t expect it to be everyone’s taste, but it’s definitely something that people do. Just doesn’t show up on social media much because there’s no sponsorships pushing the advertising of it.

    9. Not exactly what you’re looking for but we had a daytime wedding with 35 people. We had it at a local hotel/restaurant, so basically we paid for everyone’s meals, our outfits, my hair, a cake, and some flowers. It was about 10k – a little more than we wanted, but we had a really nice time. A friend of mine officiated for free, the venue had a nice room for the ceremony and didn’t charge any extra fees for daytime use. I have no regrets, it was intimate and incredibly special and we didn’t go into debt or ask anyone for cash.

    10. I know 3-4 people who have done this. Sounds like an amazing idea. I’m grateful I got married before social was so huge (like, FB had only recently added the “album” feature, vs. just a single profile picture at a time!)… the expectations are out of control.

    11. We eloped and it is one of my biggest regrets. After being married for 2 decades, I want the memory of the big fancy wedding. But maybe it is a grass is greener on the other side situation and I would feel differently if I had spent all this money on a wedding.

      1. I hope you’ll consider a big anniversary party someday still. I would love to attend an event like this for any of my friends or family.

    12. Yes- I did this in a similar immigration background (and my brother did too).

      One thing to be aware of is that immigration interviews go easier if you have extensive documentation of your life together- I brought essentially one thing per month we’d been together (lease agreement, furniture receipt, photos of a vacation, pic of new kitten we adopted together). All this is to say, take nice pictures of your intimate wedding!

    13. Back in the day, one used to actually (snail) mail out printed wedding annuncements to, you know, announce that you had gotten married. I daresay these days such a thing would be sneered at as a “gift grab,” but nevertheless that is the traditional way to announce a marriage. Or, of course, if you have a local paper that runs wedding announcements then that solves the problem — you submit an announcement and badda-bing, badda-boom, you’re good to go. Failing that, certainly an Instagram post of your lovely elopement would be fine.

      And I have to say I think you’re extremely wise to consider foregoing the huge wedding, especially in these trying times. I know far, far more people who regret their elaborate weddings than who regret eloping (actually the poster on this thread is the only person I’ve ever encountered who regrets an elopment).

      1. We did the paper announcements (mostly because we cancelled our larger wedding due to Covid after the invitations had gone out and we wanted people to know we had married and weren’t rescheduling). Maybe people thought of it as a gift grab, but oh well. We did get some gifts and also just some congratulations texts.

    14. We eloped. We just invited the parents and siblings. We paid for everyone’s hotels for 3 nights, the meals together, and tickets to a venue.

      I’m very happy with how we did it.

    15. +10000 to you’re way overthinking this. Hire a photographer! (Don’t you want photos anyway?) Make your Instagram post. Also, nobody is thinking about your marital status nearly as much as you think they are.

    16. City Hall is fine, but if you want a wedding, can you consider a lower cost of living area outside the city? I’m sure the price would be a bit higher today, but we had a lovely wedding for 80 people for around $12k in a scenic coastal area. I’m sure the cost would have been triple that in a place like NYC.

      1. And fwiw although I can’t say for sure, I think I would have really regretted an elopement. Our wedding day was the only time we had everyone we love in the same room and even as an introvert who hates being the center of attention it was really special and meaningful. I definitely do not regret having a small, modest wedding though!

    17. Absolutely do what you want, but since you asked for opinions, I’ll give mine.

      I have a sibling considering doing this and as a family member, I’m sad that our extended family won’t get together to celebrate them. Siblings fiancé is amazing and my parents are proud to show them off (and are offering to pick up the full tab, but they want to invite their brothers and sisters.)

      Realistically, we’re at a point where I’m fairly certain they will elope on a random Tuesday afternoon and I’m not sure the immediate family will even be invited. It’s their choice and I’ve made peace to keep my mouth shut, but I know it will create some distance and hurt feelings between my sibling and my parents that probably isn’t reversible.

      Sometimes life is short, families don’t come together enough and it’s fun to celebrate people with all the song and dance, you know?

      1. My brother and SIL eloped. We are a close family, all live within 50 miles of each other and have no bad blood with each other, so this actually was kinda hurtful. My mom spoke up exactly once, then never spoke of it again. I still don’t really understand their decision, but it’s been a decade at this point.

        Elope if that’s what you actually want, but I would really challenge the idea that a wedding needs to be a six-figure event.

      2. Maybe if y’all stopped pressuring them about more than immediate family you’d be invited.

        1. I’m not pressuring. I gave my opinion once when it was asked for and dropped it. Part of me is delighted that I won’t have to throw a bridal shower or attend a bachelorette, but the other part of me is sad that the fiancé will probably never know the extended family. The wedding and the hoopla around it is bonding opportunities, memory making, etc and that will no longer happen.

      3. I’m with you Walnut. We had a family member elope during Covid and decline to do any kind of bigger celebration once things were more open. It’s their choice and everyone respected it, but a lot of family members were disappointed. People can make their own choices but others are allowed to have feelings about it. The opportunity to gather all the extended family in one place doesn’t come along very often, especially if you have a smaller family.

      4. The thing with weddings is that if you consider anyone besides you and your fiancé, someone will be upset about whatever you choose to do. Of all the events in life, I see weddings as between the couple and totally up to them as to how they want to get married. I did elope and am so glad I did. It was the most romantic day of my life. My husband and I have a fabulous story that fuels us in hard times. Do what’s right for you as a couple. Your family will get over it and if they don’t, it’s a them problem, we love ours and host many parties and get togethers, but our wedding was ours.

      5. From someone who has eloped in recent years: I’m sure my parents tell people that my decision created distance and hurt feelings, but the story of our distant relationship stretches back much further. The decision to get married without immediate family present isn’t taken lightly.

    18. You might also look into the term “micro-wedding” rather than straight eloping to get some ideas. Husband and I basically booked a venue about 1.5 hours out of city, invited parents and siblings’ families for a longer holiday weekend and paid for accommodations and meals for about 14 people. We did dress traditionally and sprung for a photographer and make-up artist, which I would absolutely do again. That way no one in the family feels like they have to take pictures, and my kid loves looking through the photo books we made. We meant to have a larger party later but COVID shut that down, but never really felt like we missed out on anything.

    19. My wife and I just did this back in February (we were the lame couple getting married on Valentine’s Day! 😁)! It was so great!

      I did the big wedding in my previous marriage and it just absolutely wasn’t worth it in my opinion.

      We went to city hall and got the legal stuff sorted out, then that evening we hosted our immediate family (6 people in total). We did a short little exchanging of vows in our living room, then had a lovely dinner?

      We spent more on the honeymoon than the wedding which I maintain is correct 😆

    20. It’s a micro wedding. I did exactly that. Get a photographer, you won’t regret having professional photos and wear something you love. It’s the perfect way to get married IMHO. I’d do it all over again exactly the same way.

    21. My friends have done this in England. It’s apparently a thing to get married at the registry office in Chelsea and then have a massive celebration at the family estate months later.

      I ‘got married’ at my local church and had my reception in a huge marquee on the ménage. I liked having a party. None of my guests realized we were already married so had a thanksgiving to marriage ceremony. As US immigrants we weren’t going to risk not being considered married in the US. This was 15 years ago when we were complaining about George W Bush. This current yahoo makes Bush look amazing.

      Dont think of his family and their public profile. You get married once. Do what you want to do. If you want the big wedding have it later.

  9. Where have folks liked staying in Vegas? My husband is going mid-June for a work-adjacent thing but there is no mandated hotel. I’m tagging along and some opposite-coast friends that we don’t see often are meeting us there. We’re not big gamblers. Mostly looking for a cushy hotel that isn’t in the stratosphere price-wise (like, trying to avoid the $800/night and upwards range of rooms) and is well located for restaurants, etc.

    1. I like Vdara because it doesn’t have a casino, so it’s truly smoke free. If they allow smoking in the casino but not the rooms the smoke still permeates the rooms.

      1. A friend has said the same thing — Vdara — and for the same reason. She has a valid point.

      2. Look for what’s new. I liked Vdara for the same reasons but that was about 10 years ago and Vegas hotels get tired fast. I wish I had a current rec.

    3. The Wynn!
      It’s got a whimsical but not juvenile vibe, it’s impeccable as far as being clean, it runs routine deals, it has *amazing* restaurants, and it’s across the street from the best mall on the strip, Fashion Show. Also the in-casino/in-hotel shopping is excellent as well. We’ve tried other hotels just for the experience and while they’re fun (Cosmopolitan is also cool) nothing really compares to the refined but indulgent feeling of The Wynn. Note the Encore doesn’t book rooms on the weekdays (or it didn’t a few years ago) so beware if booking through a third-party site.

  10. This is maybe something where there is some research out there. I know scores are optional for many colleges right now but is there a thing of shooting too low or high for colleges? Like if you luck out with the lottery for Penn for math but your PSAT was 1150, is that likely to be a bust because the average kid there moves at a much faster speed? And can the opposite be true also (say a kid with great stats gets a full ride somewhere with a 90% acceptance rate)? Is there something to having people move at a common speed (or is my SIL right that it’s all meaningless stratification and any kid can succeed at any school?). She used to work in education but I have no idea. Not sure she is going to be a real resource here or how to even know.

    2. I also don’t fully understand your question, but I think the idea that test results are not particularly indicative of how well a high school student will perform at any particular college is sound.

    3. I also don’t understand the comment about the Penn lottery and PSAT scores (do you mean SAT? PSAT isn’t a college admissions test), but I think you’re asking two separate questions.

      1 – Elite colleges like Penn have far more qualified applicants than spots. Everyone who’s admitted can do the work (yes even legacy applicants and recruited athletes). They also typically have grade inflation, lots of student support and virtually nobody fails out. If you’re admitted to these types of schools and can afford it, go. Don’t worry about whether you’re as smart as the other applicants.

      2 – Yes if you’re Ivy caliber and go to a State U on a full ride you will likely find the coursework very easy and run through undergraduate courses fast. You’ll probably need to take graduate classes, and this is a big reason to choose a research university over a liberal arts college if you’re taking a merit scholarship to a lower ranked school.

    4. I think what you’re asking is: is it better to be at the top of the pack (even if it means going to a less selective school), or to go to the best school possible (even if you’re going to be in the bottom 10% of students there – after all, someone has to be)?

      And I am mostly on your SIL’s side, unless there is something very specific. School’s are really big, and kids will figure out what programs and classes they do well in; they’ll find resources like the tutoring center; etc. There’s exceptions of course – like if your kid struggles with math, reflected in their 500 score on the SAT, and you’re considering getting them in to MIT or Caltech Varsity Blues style anyway, maybe don’t.

      1. I agree. I think it also depends on how wedded they are to a specific major. A small humanities department (I’m familiar with Classics) may shepherd every student with love and care towards graduation, even if they had no background prior to college and are attending their reach school, whereas there may be ruthless weed out prerequisites for STEM majors or an actual admissions process for other popular majors.

    5. 20 years ago high test scores could get you great merit aid packages at some schools. In particular, I remember that big sports schools like Bama were hungry for National Merit kids and 30+ ACT-ers. But there’s not conspiracy or “trick” for this, and trying to twist your kid into the Perfect Applicant isn’t how I’d want to spend my one wild and precious life.

    6. If you’re asking what I think you’re asking, there is recent research tending to indicate that “big fish in a small pond” may be more advantageous than the reverse. Relatedly, when I was in law school one of my professors used to state confidently that the top 5% of students at pretty much any school would be the same top 5% anywhere. So a truly outstanding student might do best at the best/most selective/fastest moving school, whereas the other 95% might be better off at a place where they could shine.

      1. I went to my reach school, and aside from the truly wonderful friends I made there, I sometimes wish I had gone to my safety. I did well academically at the school I attended, but I put an awful lot of effort into making muster. I think at my safety I could have taken more advantage of mentorship and opportunities, and it might have been good for my confidence. I certainly couldn’t and didn’t sustain the amount of effort it took to be on the dean’s list every semester in undergrad anyway!

      2. I have been both the just-another fish in an elite pond (undergraduate music performance) and the big fish in a small pond (law school on scholarship) and I agree with this idea somewhat. The pond needs to be just small enough that you have a chance to stand out and get individual attention and growth opportunities, but not so small that you have few real peers. In music school I did surprisingly well given my background but probably would have done even better and been much happier at a school where the faculty had a more invested approach. For law school I should have listened to the 1L professor who encouraged me to transfer to a higher-ranked school where I still could have stood out but would have had better employment prospects and a more satisfying intellectual experience. My daughter is now in college and seems to have landed on the Goldilocks situation where she receives tons of merit aid and is getting noticed but is also able to interact with and be challenged and inspired by some very bright and talented peers. If she’d gone to a lesser school she would be bored by her classmates, she would not be learning as much, and her degree would not open as many doors for career and grad school. On the other hand, if she’d gone to a higher-ranked school, many of the opportunities she’s getting as a freshman would be monopolized by grad students so she wouldn’t be learning as much either.

    7. Your SIL is pretty much right about standardized tests.

      In my opinion fit does matter, but tests aren’t the best proxy for fit. Once a student is admitted, schools will put a lot of effort into helping them succeed, but the student does have to reach out for help, show up to meetings, and do their part. But if they’re just miserable, that’s when they’re least likely to take advantage of everything schools offer to help students succeed and most likely to just ghost classes or meetings, which is where things can really derail.

    8. I will say, there is something to be said for going to the best school you get into, if it’s a good enough school that the name brand opens doors for you even if you’re in the middle of the class. I attended an Ivy law school and it was an overall collaborative experience; students weren’t cutthroat about sharing notes or advice or whatever, because you didn’t have to be in the top 10% for firms to even look at you.

      If your kid is the type to shut down if they’re not the smartest in the room… YMMV.

      1. Eventually this woman’s children will actually reach college and she will move on, right??

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