Coffee Break: Carolyn Pump

54 Comments

1. I’ve been watching Only Murders and Nobody Wants This and both female leads are wearing doubled gold chains with substantial pendants. Where online would you browse for something similar?

   1. WHBM has had a few of these in the past. They may still have some.

   2. what’s your budget?

      1. OP here – preferably less than $500 per necklace, but would prefer real gold

   3. Monika Vinader?

   4. Etsy, vintage pieces. There are art nouveau lockets, zodiac pendants, love charms, luck charms (clovers, pigs, horseshoes) Usually between 50-100 years old, and you put them on a chain you have or buy a chain.a wide variety of price points depending on whether you’re doing 9 ct (English) up to 18k, more expensive.

2. Copying a sentence from the morning post that piqued my curiosity; ‘I definitely didn’t think a top charting pop star was obscure.’
   I used to know most current pop stars when I read more magazines and when MTV was still a thing. Now I can’t really stand listening to music radio because of ads. Spotify sometimes shows me new stuff but it’s very random. I am very disconnected from who is currently in the charts. I’m in my own musical bubble. Just musing about this and wondering if you are plugged in, do you actively seek out the top 40? Do you get trending stuff on social media?

   1. Meh, I am a 40-something, and I’m pretty over top 40 music. I hear some from my kids, but they’re still young, so it’s not cutting edge. And I figure I end up hearing most on commercials or sports intro/outros. I’m definitely not seeking it out.

   2. I know what you mean — when I started watching TikTok I felt more connected to music than I had in a long time. That’s primarily where I know Chappell Roan from. TikTok doesn’t seem to have quite as much music anymore though, but maybe that’s just my feed.

   3. I’m 39 with little kids and my Spotify has introduced me to a bunch of the artists that are currently popular with younger people, including Chappell Roan. I don’t have any social media except Facebook, which I barely use.

   4. I know who Chappell Roan is because of my kids, but I just really can’t care about pop stars who are closer to my kids’ ages than my own. These days, I’ll often recognize a popular song but I don’t necessarily know who the artist is.

   5. The music industry doesn’t work the way it did when today’s adults were kids and everything was governed by radio airplay. Now half of it seems to be teenagers recording their own songs in their bedrooms and promoting them to niche interst groups on social media, and the other half is overproduced Simon Cowell garbage from the music industry machine. Massive popularity comes from exploding on social media.

      As GenXers, my husband and I find new bands through word of mouth, by seeing them as opening acts at concerts where we’ve come to see the headliner, and once in a while through the Spotify algorithm. We are aware of some of what’s popular among the youth because we have a teenager who insists on making us listen to her music in the car and begs us to take her to a few shows. I also get a sense of what is not necessarily cutting edge but is at least commercially popular from all the marketing e-mails I get from venues. For classical music I read reviews of concerts and recordings and profiles of artists, get information on social media and through word of mouth, and do a lot of googling for “best recording of XYZ piece.”

   6. Try having three early 20s under your roof full time and then you will know it all!

      My parents didn’t know my music either when I was that age. This is a tale as old as time. You are becoming your parents. :)

      1. Yep. We’re becoming our parents!

         I heard something once that music you hear as a teen becomes your brain’s standard for “good” music, and you carry that with you for life. A little different than the typical theory that you like the music you like because it’s associated with good times. Anyways, who knows if the one I heard is true.

         FWIW, up through middle school, I was only allowed to listen to my mom’s music (she graduated college in ’63) because she was afraid of the lyrics or whatever of modern music and didn’t have time to police it, so there was just a blanket ban. I can sing along with all that stuff just as well as I can with what came out in high school.

         1. I also love everything from my dad’s oldies station that even highlighted songs from the 50s! I still love doo-wop. So funny your mom thought the new stuff was corrupting – I remember being embarrassed when “under the boardwalk” came on after I learned what “making love” meant!

   7. I felt out of touch recently, tried to listen to some of the current pop hits stations on Sirius, went “this is terrible,” and turned back to my classic rock and/or 90s station. And that’s how I knew I was officially middle-aged. #eldermillennial

      1. That’s how it happens. Gen X mom of Zoomers here.

      2. Same, same. I am positive every generation is this way to a certain extent!

      3. Our music was/is better. Even my sons, early 30s, say this.

   8. I’m with you. I have no idea who is a top charting pop star at the moment. And I do not live under a rock FWIW!

   9. Chappell Roan isn’t obscure. The rest of that rambling post was.

      1. Agree. I also thought it was weird how folks made it sound like being aware of pop culture was some moral failing. I think like anything cultural, being ignorant isn’t a badge of honor. It’s a sign to consider expanding your experiences more. (I’m 50 fwiw.)

      2. Agree. She is the biggest name in pop music right now. Weird take.

         To your question, OP, I do listen to pop music on the radio! I get what you mean about ads but I just… change the station? I have like 8 radio station presets in my car and I love bouncing around between them (and belting out STP or Meredith Brooks on the “oldies” station!). I also sometimes put on a Spotify station of “today’s new music” or whatever (“clean” because I have little kids). I like pop music, though, and if that is not your jam, then there’s no reason to seek it out for the sake of it. I am probably more in touch with pop music than my 5th grader at this point, though I fully expect that to flip once we let her use social media.

         If I want to feel really out of touch, I put on our local college radio station.

3. Has anyone tried Vivaia shoes? They’re stalking me online

4. Fun question for today: what’s your favorite pick-me-up / treat to yourself during a slow day or as a reward for something?

   I’m a fan of new lipstick, although lately I’ve been really into flowers so new flowers also.

   1. A latte is my all-purpose pick-me-up and reward.

   2. Lipstick is great. So is a full sugar coke.

   3. Depends on the reward level. Small things are likely to be food, allowing myself to watch a movie on TV, going for a walk around the block, buying fancy make-up. Bigger might be a walk in a park and lunch an hour or two away or scheduling a massage.

   4. A car wash! I visit the one down the street from me at least weekly. It always feels like $25 well spent and I also have a shiny clean car which is a mood booster :)

   5. For a little treat, a latte from the neighborhood spot.

      A step up would be a trip to the local bookstore + a new buzzy book that has a forever library hold.

      I also like a trip to Sephora. Just ordered Fenty hand cream and Glossier balm dotcom for the colder weather.

   6. A boba tea is my indulgent reward.
      A trip to the library and then either staying up lte to read or going to bed early.

5. My cousin and I are three months apart and have always been close, though she had a very different childhood than I did. Low income, absent father, s*xual abuse, sister committed suicide. Now she has twin toddlers who have medical and developmental issues and they are struggling financially. She has always had a strained relationship with her parents (my aunt and uncle). They had retired and moved to SEUS but moved back to her town in the Midwest to help out. They are in poor health but they babysit once a week, and also purchase some of the things the kids need that my cousin can’t afford, like formula, high chairs, double stroller, etc. I help out too by sending my kid’s hand-me-down clothes, generous birthday gifts, and babysitting once in a while though I don’t live close. Here’s the part that bothers me – my aunt and uncle take multiple extravagant vacations every year. They go to Europe, Asia, and are gone anywhere from 1-4 months at a time. I get that everyone should be able to enjoy their golden years, but I don’t know how they can do that knowing that their only daughter can barely afford necessities. Here I am wishing that my cousin wins the lottery or somehow gets a windfall of money because she is a good person and doesn’t deserve the life she has had. Meanwhile my aunt and uncle are traveling all over the world instead of recognizing their role in my cousin’s childhood trauma and working to make it right. I am enraged, but I think my cousin is numb to it. I know it’s not my battle and I think my cousin would be embarrassed that I am thinking about her this much. Just venting I guess.

   1. ugh I’m sorry to hear that. Has she looked into grants and assistance from her county? Mom to a disabled child and there’s a lot available, especially if your income is low.

   2. They’re never going to help more than they already do. The type of parents who would help their daughter are not the same type of parents who would provide that kind of childhood.

      1. For all we know, the parents put their vacations on their credit card.

         And of these, I’m not sure what is neglect at the parents’ hands: Low income, absent father, s*xual abuse, sister committed suicide. Being low income isn’t a character defect. But low income can come with baggage due to proximity and that, again, isn’t a character defect. If these people gave up a retirement plan to move back and are already in failing health, IDK what they are supposed to do. If they were poor while working, that doesn’t tend to get better in retirement.

   3. Is there a dad of the kids in the picture? Or at least paying support?

      If the grandparents are in declining health and yet still helping and the cousin is so poor that she can’t afford formula (formula, IIRC, is for babies; and a baby >1 year can drink milk, which is far less expensive), I suspect that the big issues in cousin’s life are bigger than her parents forgoing vacations. Unless they are truly luxurious vacations, and cousin is on welfare and there is no dad financially or otherwise in the picture, my guess is that foregoing these things in what may be their final years won’t move the needle much for cousin. She and the kids are going to be around with these problems for decades and IDK how you fix that, unless they can give her 7 figures of cash right now.

      1. I tend to agree. It sounds like her parents are already doing quite a bit in providing for the day-to-day necessities.

      2. but even older kids can need formula and supplements depending on the nature of the disability. and that stuff is expensive. ditto for larger size diapers.

   4. Parents who hugely failed their kids don’t want to admit that those failures haunt their children through adulthood.

   5. Ugh, that sucks. It’s possible her parents are offering some help that isn’t apparent, but I appreciate the vent. My in-laws are tremendously stingy about everything – unless it’s for them, then no expense is spared.

   6. You need to let this go. Your cousin is an adult and needs to figure out how to support herself. This is the reality for the vast majority of people in this country.

      Your aunt and uncle have already moved across the country to support her and they support her with their time and their wallets already. They’ve clearly done a lot already and have decided that’s their limit.

      They can travel if they want to and you can hate them for it if you want to, but it’s really up to your cousin at this point to fix her own problems.

   7. They moved away from their retirement location to help her, they babysit once a week and help support her financially — what more do you think they should be doing!? Grandparents have done their time raising kids, and are entitled to prioritize their own lives in retirement, including expensive vacations they couldn’t afford when their kids were younger. Maybe these parents didn’t do a great job of child-rearing, and that’s kind of a separate issue. But there’s nothing wrong with grandparents taking nice vacations and they sound more involved with their grandkids than most grandparents, honestly. (And before someone accuses me of projecting my own bitterness about lack of family support, my parents are very involved with our family, much to our delight. But we recognize that it’s a privilege, not a right.)

6. Pumpkin creme cold brew for me. I’m flying high 4 hours later!

7. How long is the image of the mostly-naked woman going to be on the banner? I need to know when I can visit this s i t e again without getting fired.

   1. I gotta say, this strong reaction is somewhat surprising. Not completely, like, I get that pictures of people in underwear don’t belong in the workplace. But if being found on a time-wastey page about buying undergarments is a firing risk, then being found on a time-wastey shopping site all the time is also pretty risky, no?

      1. I’m not that poster, and I WFH now and had a private office when I worked in an office. But where I worked (government) everyone wasted time on the internet so that was no big deal, but people still would have been pretty horrified to see a mostly naked woman on someone’s computer screen and if someone had complained to HR it could have been a big issue. Probably a bigger potential problem for male employees than female ones, because of the potential for a sexual harassment claim. But I think it’s a fair complaint.

      2. Yeah, I agree. This would not get me fired anywhere I’ve ever worked.

   2. I was also not thrilled by it.

      1. Same here, it’s obnoxious generally and especially annoying on a work focused site. The fashion here is always bad, but I really do not need to click into half naked people in their underwear.

         1. “The fashion here is always bad” lol.

            What sites do you like for actual fashion?

      2. +1 I mean among other things, it was a pic for the male gaze, not necessary to the story at all.

         1. Yeah I think that’s the main reason it bothered me.

   3. I’m pretty surprised by these responses.

      This is a fashion website. We ask questions about underwear recs all the time. It was a picture of classic underwear that I actually like and would click on. It’s not a porno shot. It looks like it could be a Macy’s ad that could pop-up randomly on any random webpage filled with ads.

      Get a grip. Stop surfing at work if you’re not supposed to or don’t want people to know you are on a shopping website.

   4. Agreed. I was traveling for work when it appeared. Not cool when that’s not what you’re expecting.

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