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Updated: Feb 3, 2022 247 Comments · by

Thursday’s Workwear Report: Ciara Floral Cinch-Waist Jersey Dress

The Personal Shopper (TPS) | · ·

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A Black woman with long black hair wearing a green dress, necklace, and sandals (face cropped out)

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

Olive green has always been one of my favorite non-neutral neutrals. It’s super flattering on a wide range of skin tones but more exciting than your typical black, gray, or navy.

I like the ruching on this faux-wrap dress from Kiyonna — it creates a flattering silhouette, and the fact that the dress doesn’t have real ties makes it much easier to layer a sweater or blazer over it.

The dress is $98 at Nordstrom and comes in sizes 0X–5X.

While it's a different style, this Halogen shirtdress ($79) is a very similar shade of of green and is available in XXS–XL.

This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Psst: some of our other favorite plus-size wrap dresses for the office include these:

collage of plus-size wrap dresses for work
Above, some of our favorite plus-size wrap dresses: one / two / three / four / five (not pictured but also check out this Etsy seller)

Sales of note for 9.30.24

Sales of note for 9.30.24

And some of our latest threadjacks here at Corporette (reader questions and commentary) — see more here!

Some of our latest threadjacks include:

About Elizabeth

Elizabeth is a 30-something lawyer living on the East Coast. She spent seven years as a Biglaw associate in NYC, three years as a partner at a medium-sized firm, and is now in-house counsel for a large company. She loves Diet Coke, '90s sitcoms, and dresses with pockets.

Comments

  1. bbb

    Thank y’all for the wonderful travel recommendations for August! We are going to Asilomar, which I never would have discovered but for y’all, and I am saving the rest of the list for future trips. Y’all are the best. I told my husband where I got the recommendation (here), and he said, Well then you know it’ll be good!

    Curious for another recommendation. We are flying into SFO and need somewhere to stay the first couple of nights. We were thinking of venturing north, since we’ll be doing lots of day trips from Asilomar so will cover that area pretty well (Carmel, Point Lobos, Monterrey, etc.). Any recommendations for a couple of nights around SFO that will give us a different vibe? There are five of us, so a cottage or suite would be much preferred. This is my kids’ first trip to California.

    • AIMS

      So I was going to recommend a specific place in Sonoma but I see that the B&B I had in mind is actually under new ownership so there goes that… BUT – I would still look at Sonoma B&Bs — you can probably find one with a whole little cottage and it’s a great area with a lot to do besides just wine (Fort Ross is a fun trip, also the Russian River, Callistoga, etc.) and it’s not a bad drive from SFO.

    • Anon

      If you’re spending the rest of the trip in the Carmel/Monterey area and your kids have never been to CA, I’d stay in SFO and see all the city stuff. I might also spend a day in Santa Cruz at some point. I feel like Sonoma, Marin etc. is more of an adult place to visit, though I do like Pt. Reyes, so I’d consider going there, but it’s not that different feeling from what you’re already doing.

      • Anon

        Former resident of Oakland. I agree. Go to the Sutro Baths in SF if that sounds like your thing, the kids might like poking around on the rocks by the ocean there. It’s one of my favorite sweet SF spots. Seeing Santa Cruz is a good idea too. It’s small and easy to manage and the location means less driving.

        • Anon

          Don’t overlook the East Bay! Check out Tilden Park in the Oakland/Berkeley hills. There are walks through parks in the Oakland/Berkeley hills that aren’t as impressive as what you will find in other locations, but they are fun nonetheless. Riding BART can be a fun part of a family vacation, too!

          • Anon

            Eh. I live in Berkeley at the base of Tilden. It’s nice. I love it. But I don’t think it’s vacation-worthy.

        • Nudibranch

          Santa Cruz has the Boardwalk too, if your kids would enjoy the amusement park thing.

    • Anon

      It’s a far drive (3.5 hours), but for first timers, it’s hard to resist going up to the redwoods to see the Avenue of the Giants. I literally couldn’t get over it my first time there! I wonder if you could go up to Garberville for a night to see them and then make your way back down stopping over in Sonoma. (I do know there are closer redwoods to SFO, I just haven’t seen those, don’t know much about it. AotG is truly impressive.)

          • Anon

            Check the websites. I always always tell people to go to Armstrong, but one of our recent fires ripped through there and the entire park was closed to the public last time I recommended it.

        • Anon

          When I was in SF (at a random Hilton for a wedding) we went to Muir Woods for Redwoods. It was great! We then had lunch in Saulsilito by the houseboats!

          I stayed in Hayes Mansion in San Jose for a night a few years back – was coming from a week in Carmel and needed to be closer to the airport for the last night (and wanted somewhere warmer than Carmel!). That was a neat hotel!

          • Anon

            I loved Sausalito!! Took the ferry across from SF, had brunch there, and then walked back across the bridge! Very cool!

          • Senior Attorney

            If you go to San Jose, check out the Winchester Mystery House. I took my son there when he was a kid and it was great!

        • Lorelai Gilmore

          The closest redwoods are either 1) Muir Woods, or 2) Redwood Regional Park in Oakland. Muir Woods is more impressive, though. Try to go on a weekday to avoid crazy parking problems.

          • Finch

            Muir Woods approx. 45minutes from SFO for amazing redwoods-be sure to book a reservations for parking (now required)

        • Nesprin

          Redwood park (physically connected to tilden) has some baby (~100ft tall) redwoods. This’d be the easiest, but sequoyah is worth the drive

      • Anon

        I think you mean Guerneville? That is where Armstrong Woods is, and the Boon Hotel is a cute place to stay right there.

        • Anon

          No, I mean Garberville, as that’s where I stayed. It’s a ten minute drive to the AotG, and I just did it as a scenic drive and got out at various parking spots along the way where they had little trails into the woods. I’m sure there’s plenty of towns/places around there though, so Guerneville is likely one as well.

          • Anon

            No, you challenged what I meant, when what I said was clear. I meant what I said. I don’t dispute that it’s closer, don’t know if it’s better, don’t really care.

        • Anon

          Yeah Garberville is much farther north, as is Avenue of the Redwoods. If you just want to see Redwoods you don’t have to go that far. Muir Woods is fine. But if you want to see the kitschy vacationland Bigfoot souvenir shop Avenue of the Giants, you go up to Humboldt. No judgment, I love both. But as my dad would have said, Humboldt is a fur piece up the road.

    • Anon

      What about Cavallo Point? Stunning views of SF and Golden Gate Briidge, and easy tonexplore both SF and Marin from.

      • Anonymous

        This was a great spot. We stayed here for a girls trip – the former military base?

    • Lorelai Gilmore

      You could try Indian Springs in Calistoga. It has cool mineral pools and lawn games – and would give you a totally different vibe from Asilomar!

      Another option would be to stay in SF proper and enjoy the city. I am not aware of cottage/suite hotel options, unfortunately, but have enjoyed a stay at the Hyatt along the Embarcadero several years ago before we moved to the city. AirBNB would also be a great option. SF is great for kids. Options include the California Academy of Sciences, the Exploratorium, riding cable cars, exploring Chinatown (and eating delicious food), Golden Gate Park, ice cream at BiRite, riding the ferries, going to a Giants game.

    • Anon

      If I had kids in SF for the first time, I would definitely do one day in SF and do the Academy of Sciences and/or the Exploratorium, sundaes at Ghiradelli Square, and a walk on Crissy Field or Baker Beach or do a short hike on the Land’s End trail (all have better views and less crowds than if you go right to the parking lots at the foot and top of the Golden Gate Bridge). If you have two days, I would add SFMoma or the Legion of Honor/Palace of Fine Arts as gorgeous places to stop for pix and have the kids run around on the grass. I Please note that there have been very brazen break-ins to cars in broad daylight near any and all tourist attractions in SF in recent months, so you should drop your luggage at your hotel (even if you can’t check in yet) to be safe.

      The other place that’s very cool is the marine mammal rescue center in Marin Headlands. Younger kids also love Fairy Land in Oakland.

      For Muir Woods, reservations are now mandatory, so you must plan that in advance. There are redwoods on the way South as well in the Santa Cruz mountains too which you could incorporate into your itinerary. And there’s plenty of other redwoods in Marin not part of Muir Woods too–these are closest to SF.

      I would stay near Fisherman’s Wharf or the Marina, but not near Union Square–the homelessness downtown has gotten very, very out of control and some of what you see (severe mental illness, open drug use, people using the bathroom in the streets) could be disturbing with young kids(but also a chance for a conversation with slightly older kids). It’s very sad, and not much is being done to actually help folks that’s working.

      • SF Attorney

        Agree with all this. You could walk along the Embarcadero from the Exploratorium to the Ferry Building and get lunch at Gotts and ice cream at Humphrey Slocum’s. Walking up the Greenwich or Filbert steps gives you a peek at a unique and charming area. And it’s much less traveled than the ”crooked” block of Lombard St. But you have to do it on foot. Coit Tower is also nearby. Avoid Pier 39 but Ghirardelli Square is pretty nice.

    • Anon

      I’d see if I could find a place in Stinson or Bodega bay for exploring the north coast.

  2. Anon

    Frazzled snacking mom, I thought of you at the grocery store last night, and filled my cart with piles of easy-prep fresh veggies and got inspired to try kimchi for the first time. Just thought you’d like to know you’re inspiring better habits!

    • Anon

      Search for the NYT recipe for kimchi fried rice. It is such delicious comfort food and so quick and easy.

      • AIMS

        This is my emergency “i have nothing to cook but i have rice and i always have eggs and a jar of kimchi” dinner. Probably in the rotation at least twice a month, if not actually weekly.

    • NYNY

      Kimchi quesadillas are my go-to quick WFH lunch. Grate a little cheese onto a flour tortilla and cover with another flour tortilla, toast in a little oil or butter on the stove, flipping once so both sides are browned and the cheese is melted, take off the heat and slip in some kimchi, sliced or chopped if the pieces are big, cut the quesadilla into quarters and enjoy!

    • Anonymous

      lol hooray! kimchi and all fermented foods are great for your gut/brain health. spicy but so good!

  3. Anonymous

    weird skin question- my shoulders and back feel very bumpy. I’m fairly sure it isn’t acne. It feels like if it were scrubbed really, really, hard for a while and then lotion were put on it it would go away.

    Do I need to see a dermatologist? Go to a medspa and get some kind of treatment/peel? Buy and use a product myself?

    Thanks for any thoughts! I think it’s been like this for a long time, but it’s only recently driving me crazy.

    • Duckles

      If they’re rough/dry bumps, use FAB’s KP scrub. If they might be acne or something else, I’ve had good luck with the body acne scrub brand they sell on Grove.

      • Carla

        I’ve noticed this on my shoulders and that was my plan – to try the Cerave SA scrub. Maybe I’ll try this one instead.

    • BeenThatGuy

      It could be keratosis pilaris. I’ve had it since I was a child. Mostly on my upper arms. But as I’ve aged, it’s spread to places like my hamstring area, butt and parts of my back. The only thing that helps me is using a cream with urea, lactic acid, salicylic acid or alpha hydroxy. I like Amlactin.

      • Anon

        +1 it’s probably KP. I also have had it since I was a child and now after two kids, it’s much worse. My derm prescribed a cream but it didn’t help much. I also use drunk elephant’s glycolic acid lotion along with a retinoid and that has been helping a little.

    • Flats Only

      I get like this in the winter. I use a Salux cloth to give a good scrub a couple of times a week, and follow up with moisturizer. I think it’s just a dry skin thing, vs. a condition that needs medical care.

    • Anonymous

      Thanks, all! You are the best. Will pick up some of these over the weekend.

      I feel like maybe 8 years ago I talked to my dermatologist about it but I’ve been on and off pregnant since then and salicylic acid isn’t recommended while pregnant so I think it sort of fell of my radar.

  4. More Travel Help!

    As the hive is a wealth of knowledge . . .

    I need ideas of where to go for my spring trip (~ week of travel in the span of late March through late April) –
    in the continental US or Canada. I am a no frills traveler and would either rent a camper van or stay in AirBnBs or the like. I am happy to drive up to 7 hours one way to get to the general destination area but also 100% fine with flying – coming from the mid-Atlantic and have several major airports I can use. Don’t care what the temperature is, but would prefer NOT blazing hot. I’m not into urban areas, but understand I may need to fly into one and drive! Places I have already been and for this trip do not want to repeat: Acadia NP, Glacier NP, Moab UT and nearby NPs, Asheville, Nova Scotia, Oregon coast (from S – N), Dolly Sods Wilderness area, San Diego area, and Seattle area.

    Wants:
    – hiking and beautiful scenery, extra points for bodies of water
    – no crowds

    I feel like this should be easy, but I get overwhelmed when I start googling and also would love to find hidden gems!

    • Anon

      Tucson? Phoenix also has good hikes within the city limits.

      Randomly, Backpacker magazine has lots of good hiking recommendations. I prefer hotels to camping, so you don’t have to visit a place the way a backpacker would.

      • Duckles

        Seconding AZ is good this time of year—Sedona, Saguaro NP, etc. i don’t personally recommend the big hikes in Phoenix proper since they’re so maddeningly packed. You could throw in White Sands if you’re a NP bucket list person.

    • Anon

      This is a difficult time for hiking trips, because anywhere with mountains can still be pretty cold, with trails snowy, icy, or muddy and roads closed… but if things are open, it’s a great time to go, since it’s not too crowded. I think you need to stick to CA or the South, so maybe Central CA- some combination of Pinnacles, Big Sur, Morro Bay/Montana De Oro, Carrizo Plain (not sure what the wildflower forecast is for this year, but it’s about the right time for peak flowers), Pt. Reyes (if you prefer north of the Bay Area)…

      • Anon

        +1

        The Grand Tetons are my favorite national park but it’s too snowy to hike in March!

    • Bonnie Kate

      Highly recommend the Sequoia National Forest, although I’m not sure about the weather during that time period – google tells me the park is open subject to snow/road closures.

      We went in July and didn’t find it too crowded. General Shermans Tree wasn’t too crowded. Moro Rock was crowded, but worth it. The best was hiking Dorst Creek back to Muir Grove – that was very peaceful, beautiful and only a few people on the trail.

    • Notinstafamous

      What about the west coast of bc? Take the weekend do a road trip around Vancouver island. Surf / boogie board in tofino, see the old growth forest, do some whale watching in Campbell river. Drive back down the Sunshine Coast through Powell river to gibsons and then fly out of Vancouver. Pretty sure that’s around the time of the pacific rim whale festival. There are tons of good day hikes. It’ll be “fleece under rain jacket” weather.

      • Anon

        +1. I loved our vacation to Vancouver Island so much that we have returned multiple times. An amazing place.

        • Anonymous

          Seconding Vancouver area. Adding Victoria. Vancouver itself was wonderful. Loved Capilano Bridge and Grouse Mountain (went in fall and looked back on the city). We loved it so much, we almost bought a vacation place there.

    • Anon

      National parks seem like a perfect fit for you. Are you motivated by a challenge? Maybe try visiting a national park in each state, or try to hit each park with a site where women made history, or look for parks that highlight our diverse heritage. There are itineraries for all on the NPS site.

      If not, look into national parks in the Midwest. Everyone tends to think of the Ozarks or the Smokey Mountains, but the Southern Illinois Ohio River valley is a hidden, beautiful gem. The Garden of the Gods is surprisingly breathtaking and the Caves in the area are pretty too. The weather should be good in Spring, and it’s definitely not urban at all.

    • Cat

      Why continental? The USVI – St. John – definitely ticks your boxes for hiking, scenery, and water! Or if you get away from San Juan… PR could be an option?

    • OP

      Thanks everyone! Lots to research. I am not against Mexico or PR/USVI, I was just thinking of ease of travel and the risks of testing to re-enter (I included Canada at the last minute – I obviously know that Mex/Can would present the same re-entry CV-19 testing risks).

      I briefly bounced into Northern CA on my Oregon coast road trip and defnitely wished I had a chance to explore so maybe that’s the move! But the quick Googling of Baja California also was appealing! I was Googling Sedona last night too. AHH so many choices.

      Thanks again – as always, the hive is a great resource!

      • Gail the Goldfish

        You don’t have to test if you’re returning from PR/USVI since they are US territories. You will need one to enter USVI, however (PR just requires proof of vaccine, I think).

      • Bonnie Kate

        For some reason I thought you had been to Sedona. I change my recommendation wholeheartedly to Sedona. DH and I went in September and were already planning our next trip before we left. There’s so many great hiking options that if the popular trails feel too crowded to you you can easily get to a less popular but still magnificent hike.

    • MJ

      I would do a Northern California coastal trip. From SF up to say, Trinidad or do the LA to Big Sur to SF Highway 1 road trip. Would be gorgeous. Cehck out the Girls who Hike NorCal FB group and they’ll set you right up.

    • Lorelai Gilmore

      Some options in California:
      1) Yosemite, Kings Canyon, and Sequoia National Parks – maybe a little leftover snow, but if you’re there in late April it can be gorgeous.
      2) A California coast drive – fly into LA, rent a vehicle, and drive from LA up the coast to San Francisco. Tons of great hikes and exploration, absolutely gorgeous, lots of bodies of water.

  5. H13

    Out of curiosity, do you choose to turn your phone off at night or leave it on? Does having a landline impact your decision?
    My partner and I turn our phones off at night. We have small kids so no one is out of the house but we do have elderly parents that wouldn’t be able to reach us. We are 8+ hours away from family so even in an emergency, there wouldn’t be much that we could do. Still, I am wondering if I should start leaving my phone so that we can be reached or if, in reality, it will just make me doom scroll more.

    • Anonymous

      We leave cell phones in the kitchen at night, and can’t hear them ring. We do have a landline that would wake us up. Similar to you, we aren’t close enough physically to family that we’d get a call and have to do something right away.
      No bedtime scrolling is probably good. But I do it on the couch before I go to bed.

    • Away Game

      Mine is on but in silence mode. I’m going to have to figure out the feature that allows calls from specific numbers to come through, since my teenagers are old enough to want to be out with their friends past my bedtime.

      • Anon

        I posted below. It’s in your contacts, in the ringtone field for each contact, Emergency Bypass On.

    • Anonymous

      I leave mine on because my dad called me that my grandpa was in the hospital once. We drove through the night and I got to see him before he died. My cousin didn’t get that same gift and I can’t imagine how she felt.

    • anon

      I leave my phone on but put it in a room other than the bedroom. In an emergency, I can’t wait the two minutes it takes to power on and find the cellular network/WiFi in order to place a call to 911. With small kids at home, I imagine the odds that you need to summon emergency services to your house are much higher than mine so I would definitely leave it on.

    • anonymous

      I never turn my phone completely off. It stays on a charger on the nightstand when I got to bed. I put it in “do not disturb” mode so only priority contacts can reach me in those hours. I’m close to my family in case of emergencies, but even if I was far I would want to know right away so I could make arrangements.

      • NYCer

        +1. This is what I do too. My husband is the only number that I allow to come through for texts while on do not disturb mode, but all my “favorites” can reach my via calling.

      • Anon

        +1. DND, but calls from family and anyone who calls twice within a short time period will go through (in case my parents are incapacitated and someone else is calling on their behalf). I’ve never been awakened by a call in the middle of the night, so this seems to work fine. I live in a place with frequent wildfires, so I definitely want my phone nearby to give emergency alerts if needed.

      • OP

        +2 even though I have almost no reading for someone to need to get ahold of me when sleeping.

      • Bonnie Kate

        +1 DND for my phone, only certain contacts will ring in. Sometimes I will leave it in the kitchen but lately I’ve been using it as an alarm so it’s by my bed.

        DH has to be on call all night, so never has his off. So no matter what, our family can get ahold of us in the night if necessary.

        We don’t have a landline.

    • Anonymous

      If I were you, I’d set it so only my parents’ phone numbers could come through, turn up the ringer, and leave the phone in a different room. Basically, make it function the way a landline would: a phone call can come in and ring loudly enough to wake you up, but it’s not used for anything else.

    • Anon

      Mine is on but 24/7, the only things that make noise are phone calls (no one calls anymore except perhaps in an emergency or my parents in an emergency (they are in bed earlier than me)). If something were going on where I might also get a text (teen texting the “come get me now” phrase), I’d set texts to make a sound, but then change that back to silent. I used to never have my phone in my room at night (still have a land line, but the one phone is not on the bedroom floor), but now use it as my alarm clock.

    • Anonymous

      I can’t imagine turning my phone off. Why? I set it on DND, my immediate family is allowed to disturb. I don’t want to be trying to call 911 and I have to wait for my phone to turn on.

      • Anon

        +1

        It also seems really annoying to have to turn it on every morning. It’s 2022, you don’t need to turn it off if you want silence, there’s DND mode.

      • H13

        The comment really struck me. It has never seemed like an inconvenience to turn my phone off and on. Maybe I am just an old?

        • Anon

          Think of it this way: if you woke up in the night and saw flames and smelled smoke, or saw a shadow outside your window and heard the latch rattling, would you want to wait for your phone to power up so you could call 911? I would not. Sometimes it will take my phone over a minute to get to the screen where I can make an emergency call, if system updates are applying or whatever. A minute is a long time in an emergency.

    • BeenThatGuy

      My phone goes on do not disturb from 1030pm-7am. I set my contacts with favorites so I will receive a call or text from someone I deem important during those hours (son, ex-husband, parent, sister, etc).

    • Anonymous

      I am totally fascinated by this – I never turn my phone off! It does go into “sleep mode” after 11pm. I have it set so that phone calls can come through, but nothing else, because the only people who would call that late are my family for an emergency.

      • Anon

        Or the We’ve Been Trying To Reach You About Your Car’s Extended Warranty robots. Which I why I had to set up specific contacts as breakthroughs and block everyone else.

    • Sunshine

      Phone stays on with do not disturb. Today DH and my older parents who live 1 mile away are the only ones who would ring through at night. When my BFF lived in town, she was on the list, and she called me at 3am when her fire alarm was going off; I was so glad I used that functionality.

      • Anon

        If you have a landline phone upstairs, it’s probably not a big deal. If you don’t, I would reconsider bringing at least one phone upstairs at night.

    • Anon

      The last time a phone rang at night in our household it was about a previously perfectly healthy young family member’s medical emergency. I think it was better in a number of ways to been available to take those calls than not. So I always make sure to whitelist family in some way.

    • Anon 2.0

      I do not not turn mine off or place on DND. We do not have a landline either. I do not want to be unreachable. I have family out of state and other various circumstances that make me want to ensure I have an open line of communication. I also use my phone as an alarm so it is by my side pretty much all the time.

    • Anon

      As an emergency manager, I am always thinking a little bit about emergencies…

      – I keep my personal phone on and charging next to my bed. I put it on do not disturb and have a handful of numbers (parents, brother, work’s 24/7 number; I also add in/remove other numbers as applicable – for example, when my uncle was in the hospital I temporarily added him abc my aunt) that can always get through.
      Funny story – when I worked night shift, my mom lost her do not disturb privileges as she’d forget I was on nights and call me to chat during the day!

      – when I’m on call for my agency, I have my work phone on extra loud 24/7 and any number can get through.

      I strongly encourage everyone (regardless of where you live) to have at least one phone on in their room to receive emergency alerts. I know they’re loud and annoying, but they do save lives!

      Also, if you don’t keep your phone on/in your room – tell your family/friends that you’re not a middle of night emergency contact. I know my dad leaves his phone downstairs, so I know if I have a middle of night emergency I should call my mom instead. I’d hate to be in a situation where I needed help and try to call someone who won’t pickup!

      • Emergency management anon

        Anon from 10:04 here: Adding that you should have a turned on phone in your bedroom so you can call out too! Fires, medical emergencies, other random emergencies (house collapse, tree falling on house, home intruder, etc) could happen overnight and it’s safest to have easy access to a phone to call 911 ASAP.

    • Tina

      I leave it on, on do not disturb with exceptions. Even though i also live far away from people it was good to have it that way when my mom called at 4am to tell me my grandpa died – not a call I wanted to miss

    • Anon

      We got rid of our landline a few months ago, and the responses here are making me second guess. I don’t miss the all-day-long spam calls that constantly disturbed my WFH life, but more emergency availability is always good. With elderly parents, even far away, there is a need to be in touch. Do they have health care proxies? Even someone far away geographically might be called upon to help make a decision.

    • KW

      Apparently DH and I are outliers, but we just…plug our phones in and put them on the nightstand.

    • Anon

      I’m a bit of a tech holdout. My cell is for my convenience only, so I don’t use it as my main source of communication. I have a few junk Voice numbers for “you must provide a phone number” transactions and to receive texts from the bank, doctor, etc. Husband and I will keep our landline as long as our parents’ generation (plus aunts and uncles, etc.) is alive. Some of them have memory issues, so it isn’t wise for us to change the number they use to reach us. I saw no reason to make my life harder by splitting up the way people know to contact me.

      That said, my cell is my alarm, so it charges on my nightstand and automatically goes to DnD between 1900 and 0700. I only turn it off to perform updates.

      If you’re having a problem with scrolling addiction, I highly recommend changing the screen to black & white.

      • Anon

        The black-and-white screen thing was a game-changer for mindless scrolling for me. It broke me of my habit of getting up in the night when I couldn’t sleep and getting on my phone. I have my phone set to go to “nighttime mode” (black and white screen) at 11 pm. and it shuts off at 5 a.m.

    • Anon

      I’m a bit of a tech holdout. My cell is for my convenience only, so I don’t use it as my main source of communication. I have a few junk Voice numbers for “you must provide a phone number” tr@nsactions and to receive texts from the bank, doctor, etc. Husband and I will keep our landline as long as our parents’ generation (plus aunts and uncles, etc.) is alive. Some of them have memory issues, so it isn’t wise for us to change the number they use to reach us. I saw no reason to make my life harder by splitting up the way people know to contact me.

      That said, my cell is my alarm, so it charges on my nightstand and automatically goes to DnD between 1900 and 0700. I only turn it off to perform updates.

      If you’re having a problem with scrolling addiction, I highly recommend changing the screen to black & white.

    • anonshmanon

      My phone goes through different wind-down phases in the evening. 8pm the screen tones down the blue light levels, and 9:30 it goes completely into grey scale and turns on DND, which also suppresses notification icons at the top. I find this helps a lot with mindless scrolling, while allowing me to still read in bed on my library app.

    • Auburn

      I keep my phone on, but I put it on Do Not Disturb and charge it in another room. I’ve learned that charging it on my bedside table is a gateway drug for late night/early morning scrolling that makes it way harder to get up and be productive in the morning. I do sleep with a Fitbit on (which is what I use for my alarm), and that will vibrate if I receive a call. My husband also sleeps with this phone charging on his side because he has much better self control than I do! So, we have at least one phone in the room.

    • Anon

      Between no land line, elderly parents, and work emergencies, I need mine within reach. It stays on the nightstand.

    • Anonymous

      Geez. I get both personal and work texts (partners not clients) and calls up to 1 a.m. on a regular basis. I would never turn my phone off. I used to have it on DND after 1 am but now it is just on all the time.

    • Anon 2.0

      Replying again as I think of this thread more. I am very surprised by the amount of people here with big jobs but “old school” phone habits. I don’t have a big job and I have still received an urgent text before 8am. Are work contacts part of your DND opt out list?

      • Anon

        My boss is, my coworkers are not.

        My DND is set to go off at 6 a.m., I am usually up by 6:15 or 6:30. If someone from work is calling or texting me before 6 (or after 10 p.m,), something better be on fire or someone better be bleeding to death. But I don’t work in a job where I’m on any kind of emergency call or usually have to deal with emergencies. (I do ease my boundaries a little around work travel periods and when I’m on work travel because, well, things happen when people are traveling).

        FWIW. Long ago I left my phone on all the time and responded to “emergency” texts or emails late at night or very early in the morning. It turns out, I was training people to treat me as their de-facto emergency Ms. Fix-it. Suddenly I was getting emails from people not because what they were asking about was part of my job, but because they knew I would respond when others wouldn’t. I changed jobs and changed habits. I deem when something is an “emergency,” not the message sender, and respond according to my own boundaries. Someone got in a car wreck and won’t be able to be at work tomorrow for the big meeting? Yes, that is an emergency. Someone just had a random thought at 11:30 at night and wants me to put a slide in a presentation that isn’t due for two weeks? That is NOT an emergency, I don’t care if the president of the company is the one emailing about it. I’ll respond to that the next day.

        A whole lot of the “24/7 availability culture” has been driven by what people will tolerate. I don’t want to work for employers who don’t respect personal time, so if I got into a job where I was expected to read and respond to texts sent to me at any time of day (ala Amazon), I would just quit. I realize some folks are not lucky enough to be in that position. But I still contend – we teach people how to treat us and if someone consistently responds to texts or emails at 2 a.m., they’re training people to expect them to be available all the time. It’s digging your own grave.

      • Anon

        Oh hell no, I’m not a doctor, nothing is urgent before I actually start work. That attitude towards work is harmful, don’t buy into it.

    • Also Anon

      I keep mine on, but in “do not disturb” mode with some exceptions for close family and my partner, so it only makes noise if there’s a dire family emergency. In reality, I’m not actually gonna use the phone in the middle of the night unless I wake up feeling sick and needing to use the bathroom, or if I have killer insomnia and I feel like I might as well scroll Reddit for a bit.

    • Anony

      Personal phone is always on vibrate and gets plugged into the charger on the nightstand every night. I don’t use DND or anything. If someone did call in the middle of the night, the vibrate would definitely wake me up (which is good because parents, grand mother, sister/BIL/niece/nephew all live within 5 miles).

      Work phone stays downstairs in my purse on ‘off’ work hours but is always on and makes noise. DH stays up later than I do so if there was a work emergency, he’d wake me up or else I’m sure I’d hear it. I’m still back-up support for my old program so I wouldn’t turn my work phone completely off.

    • Anon

      I have my iPhone on the Apple sleep setting from 11:30 to 8:00. If I get up earlier it asks if I want to turn sleep off. I don’t get any rings or notifications. But since my kids are away at college I have their numbers set in such a way that if they call me it will ring no matter what. I can’t remember what it’s called.

      Which could be a problem because they basically only text. I’ve told them if it’s an emergency to call, I hope they would remember that.

      • Anon

        I looked at the setting. For each of my kids’ contacts in my phone, under their ringtone it says Emergency Bypass On.

    • Anon

      I turned mine off until the night my dad had to take my mom to the emergency room for suspected appendicitis and was frantically calling me and couldn’t reach me. It ended up that she was fine (it was gastroenteritis, just an exceptionally bad case) but I felt terrible. My dad was scared and needed help and he couldn’t reach either me or my brother (who had his phone on but is such a heavy sleeper he didn’t hear it).

      On my Android phone, I can set the Do Not Disturb settings so that certain callers can “break through” the DND if they need to reach me. I don’t get work email notifications, regular email notifications, etc. but can get text and phone calls from the people I’ve selected. The list of people I’ve enabled this for is short. But I feel better being able to leave my phone on so people can reach me if they need to. My parents are getting older and things happen, as I found out the hard way.

    • sleep

      As my parents got older, it became important to be reachable. I even kept a landline for years longer because of the security of being woken up by that loud ring. This was useful even when my family was a long plane flight away.

      I have been called off hours by the police, after a family member was hit by a car. I was called in the middle of the night from the ER when a family member was suddenly critically ill and taken by ambulance to the hospital. I was able to spend some time in the evening calling/arranging flights for the morning/packing/rearranging my work schedule. I was called by a friend of my sister when she had a seizure for the first time and wound up in the ER. That was important as I could give the medical history.

      I cannot imagine turning my phone off to be completely unreachable. Things happen. If you haven’t experienced that yet, then…. you are extremely lucky… so far.

  6. Let it go....

    Does anyone have advice for letting go especially in an online context? I feel myself compelled to correct harmful misinformation online (more so if it’s in my field of expertise) even though I rationally know it’s not my responsibility. Idk, I’m mostly sad that the misinformation exists in the first place and I very much wish it didn’t hurt people.

    • Donnyandbuster

      At one point I started reporting posts/people on FB, but then FB just kept showing similar posts to me, I suppose so that I could keep reporting them. Infuriating. It wasn’t worth the protection I thought I was providing people, so I left the group that was overrun with those posts.

      In other situations, sometimes it helps to remember some people love getting a rise out of you. And/or to remember you’re not going to change their mind. Or maybe if it’s a family member, take the conversation offline (they’re more likely to be aggressive if it’s “public”).

    • Carla

      I’m like this too. Where do you see this misinformation? I try to avoid places where I will see it as much as possible. Or to think about how the person I want to reply will take it – not in a constructive way.I’m not going to win or get one over them. They’re often not emotinally stable peole.

    • NYNY

      If I find myself tempted to correct people after reading a social media post, I ask myself if I’m being the guy in the “someone is wrong on the internet” cartoon. If I’m even close, I put down my phone/close my laptop and take a break.

      • Anon

        Same here. Trying to correct misinformation on the internet is a pretty futile quest; there’s always going to be more. Especially in regard to political misinformation, I have realized (finally) that the people who believe that Tr*mp really won the election or that Biden is a lizard alien in disguise don’t want to be corrected; they’re invested in their delusion and are going to stick with it. So I just ignore and move on. I think it was helpful for me to realize that when people persist in being misinformed, it’s not that they just don’t have the correct information and if someone told them or showed them the right information, they would see the light. They *want* to be misinformed. Correct information is at our fingertips; all we have to do is search for it. My taking time out of my day to try to inform someone who hasn’t taken the time or invested the effort to inform themselves is wasted time and effort on my part.

    • Anon

      1. Don’t get emotionally invested. Just write dispassionately and then do not further engage.
      2. Your words are aimed at silent readers, not the person making the assertions.

      Consider something like “My field of expertise is in fluid dynamics. This study/meme is wrong because it fails to consider the effects of changing concentration on diffusion across a membrane.”

      Remember that a LOT of misinformation comes from the Dunning-Kruger effect: people think things they don’t understand are easy to understand, not complex topics. I have sometimes even said, “If this topic were that simple, people with GEDs would be doing it.”

      I had a friend who is really big into misinformation. If it aligned with her priors, so there was no convincing her that she was wrong. Best I could ever do was to continually let her know that smart, knowledgeable people disagree with her and memes aren’t policy.

      • Anon

        This is great. I love the comment: If this topic were that simple, people with GEDs would be doing it.

    • Bonnie Kate

      I have certain things I just don’t do as a personal rule. One rule is that I don’t reply to fb argument threads and the like, because they never ever are satisfactory. So when I see something like that pop up and I feel the urge to post, I remind myself I don’t do that, and for some reason it makes it easier to move on. Basically the only only comments I leave are here.

      Another similar rule is that I don’t leave reviews or completely online surveys. Very nice to just completely ignore all of those emails.

      I find these rules to not at all be restricting, but that they gave me freedom to not even think about that kind of stuff that can lead into a long frustrating ordeal.

      Regarding misinformation, it’s super frustrating! I remind myself that the more attention – both agreeing/disagreeing – that misinformation gets, the more it spreads. So even by looking at it twice, clicking to read the whole thing, clicking on the story, commenting, or engaging with it in any way – that’s telling the algorithm that it’s interesting and it will spread it further. So when I see the bat$(!4 crazy stuff I keep scrolling and don’t engage as my way to combat it. I’m not giving it one second longer.

      Similarly, occasionally I’ll click over to Fox News home page, especially around election times, and click on the rational factual headlines, to give those a little boost and show *whoever* that there are people who care about facts and not the sensationalized misinformation. It’s my very small micro-offense against misinformation – only give the real information my attention.

    • Anon

      Im the emergency manager above: I don’t correct online but I definitely correct friends/family when they start spouting nonsense. I also get countless calls from relatives asking questions that I answer. I was a veryyyy popular person in spring 2020 :)

      • Let it go...

        Yes me too, but they don’t listen. I had a relative ignore my advice, which endangered people and cost them several thousand dollars. My family member then blamed me…. because they ignored my advice? It’s maddening

    • Anon

      Honestly, the thing that has helped me in this respect is being online less. Reengaging more with the offline world put online conversations back into context, and as a result, responding to this stuff just started to feel less urgent.

      • Anon

        I guess it depends what kind of misinformation it is, but talking more to people offline only ever makes it feel more urgent to me, since people are spreading so much of the same misinformation in person after seeing it online!

    • pugsnbourbon

      I pick my battles. I don’t wade into the comments on my city newspaper, but will participate in my local neighborhood’s FB page occasionally, or a friend’s post.
      My wife follows art and animal accounts almost exclusively and she’s happier than me.

      • Seventh Sister

        I generally only post or reply on a couple of closed FB groups for alums of my college. You couldn’t pay me enough to get into a fight on our town FB group, and I regret at least 50% of the comments I make on the school-specific FB groups. I tend to get along with people IRL at our school / in our town, but the local FB groups are just full of jerks.

    • anon

      There are wise words in the serenity prayer. May have repeated it a lot during the four years of 2016 when I decided to not pick fights with more distant relatives.

    • blueberries

      I also think of the comic about the person replying to someone who is wrong on the internet. I think one comment without arguing is sufficient to do a lot of good in smaller communities like Nextdoor or here.

      I find it really helpful when an academic joins a conversation (such as on Nextdoor) about their own paper or their field of study more generally. They don’t need to keep replying to be effective–one comment stating what is true is really helpful to me, random person on Nextdoor. Same here–emergency manager from this morning saying something about her field resonates with me.

      I think your best bets are to correct mild misinformation for people who want to be well-informed; no need to follow the thread and keep engaging. People who are totally bonkers or exceptionally bad at critical thinking probably aren’t going to get anything out of what you can provide online, and I try to be nowhere near them on the internet (unfriend, block, don’t friend in the first place, don’t join those groups).

    • Anon

      I kind of got into it on Nextdoor with some people barely hiding their racism as NIMBYism, which isn’t much better. But then people I know IRL commented that they saw my posts (in a “good for you” way, but still) and decided that I’m not a one woman force for good. I’m not sure I changed any hearts or minds anyway.

      pS just in case you want to know what “I want my neighborhood to keep its character” means….

      • Seventh Sister

        I had to unsubscribe from Nextdoor because it was always, “there are kids in hoodies who don’t look they are from ‘around here’ walking down the street doing suspicious things,” which of course is all about racism (historically white town in a super diverse place).

        With the NIMBY discussions in my town, you have people who are practically breaking their arms patting themselves on the back since building 4plexes is going to solve the climate crisis / end racism, and the people who think multifamily housing is basically a human-occupied sewer that will snatch the bread from their children’s mouths by driving down the value of their property.

  7. Veronica Mars

    Has anyone shopped from Abercrombie recently? Apparently on TikTok people are recommending their curve jeans but they’re like $99 and I’m not familiar with shopping with them. Are there good coupons or sales to wait for?

    • January

      TikTok is driving me crazy… lately I’ve heard they’re recommending Conair hot rollers, lemon in a Diet Coke, Clinique Black Honey lipstick, and now Abercrombie jeans?! Do they think it’s 2001?

        • anon

          It is so confusing to me. I was in college at that time, and our fashion vibes were nothing to write home about. Can’t wait for the bootcut jean and going-out cami to come back, lol.

          • pugsnbourbon

            Capri jeans, shiny black going-out cami and black flip flops. Bangs and a ponytail. Lip. Gloss.
            (what was wrong with me)

          • Anon

            So this is interesting, because we all tend to look at old ladies and wonder why they dress so unstylishly, yet that’s what happens when we continue to wear skinny jeans when bootcuts come back. Nothing wrong with it. But we are no different from 80 year olds in blue eyeshadow and roller set hair.

      • Anon

        I mean, Conair hot rollers rock. I’m 57 and have always had some set or another.

    • Sunshine

      My BFF who is 41 years old and a mom with young kids was going on and on about how great Abrocrombie jeans are when I saw her last month. She is plus size (probably about a 32-34). I haven’t tried them. She said she doesn’t find their shirts fit well though.

    • Carla

      Reddt female fashion advice has also been recommending the abercrombie curvy pleather pants, which I’m very tempted by

    • Elle

      A blogger I like recommended some Jean shorts from Abercrombie and I love them. I was pretty impressed with the quality for the price. I ordered two sizes and had to send one back. I was a little embarrass as a 30 something to tell the lady at the UPS store that I needed to return something to A&F.

    • PLB

      Not jeans but I’ve bought a faux suede jacket, a dress, and several sweaters from Abercrombie lately.

    • Cornellian

      I don’t know, but I”ll never get over their hiring practices and literal Supreme court case in the mid 2010s. They remain cancelled for me.

      • SF Attorney

        Me too. Very frequent lawsuits at the time so I didn’t let my daughter shop there.

    • anonypotamus

      I am a 30-something lawyer who had a very negative connotation with Abercrombie as a middle schooler/high schooler in the late 90s/early 00s, but I have to admit, I got swayed by an influencer and tried the Curve Love ultra high rise jeans….I am in LOVE. As an extremely short-waisted hourglass with very athletic legs, they are the only cut I have found that fit my waist and thighs/booty without alterations and actually come up high enough to hit me at my natural waist. They often run 20-30% off, so I would keep an eye out, but definitely worth trying! I had the same experience about the tops not fitting as well.

    • Anony

      I’ve shopped A&F on and off since I worked there in 2005. Yes, wait for coupons/sales – I get their email newsletter and jeans go 50% off quite often (plus store-wide sales). I think the quality has remained consistent (if not gotten better) over the years and wouldn’t hesitate to order from there.

    • Anon

      If you need a long podcast, Be There In Five’s episode this week was a deep dive on Abercrombie and Fitch in light of their ressurgence on socials! Feel asleep listening last night actually, so I still have abouy 30 minutes left. Recommend the podcast if youre interested in long form, sometimes rambling reflections on popculture and its inpact on millenial women ( music, celbs, cults, mlms, religon etc)!

  8. NYNY

    Any recs for a really good cobbler in Manhattan? I have a go-to guy for regular work like resoling, but he doesn’t really do what I need. I got a pair of ankle boots that are exactly what I wanted – low block heel, square toe, sleek, slightly sculptural shape. They’re perfect, and fit well except they were made for smaller ankles than I have. I know that gussets can be added, but I want to go to someone who does that type of work regularly.

    • Anonymous

      Leather spa is unreal (but pricey). they reconstructed a louboutin espadrille for me where the entire bottom fell off. after that, i trust them with crazy fixes.

      • NYNY

        Thank you! After two years in slippers and sneakers, I had forgotten Leather Spa exists!

    • Anon

      I initially read this as the dessert and got really excited to see the recs. LOL

    • AnonMPH

      The Shoe Repair Shop at 549 Columbus Ave is the absolute best. A hole in the wall, no website. Those guys can do anything. I haven’t lived in New York in years but I still sometimes bring a big bag of shoes and purses that need fixes home with me because I’ve never found anything that compares in current city.

  9. Better Cell Reception in Basement

    When I am working from home and my kids or husband are also home, the only private space is in our basement. Zoom and internet works fine down there but I can’t reliably make or receive calls on my mobile phone. Thus, I need to run upstairs to make calls. Is there some kind of equipment I could purchase to enable me to use my phone downstairs?? Ugh. Thanks in advance for any recommendations

  10. Anon

    I’ve been feeling especially tired for the last few months. I know my lifestyle habits have backslid over the last two years of wfh so I need to work on that (nutrition, exercise, screen time, etc.). I’m just wondering if other people who have felt super low energy made changes that were particularly useful? Like, following a specific diet or adopting certain habits that really helped increase your energy? I’d appreciate any thoughts or anecdotes!

    • Anon

      Sleeping more. There’s no magic hack that replaces actually getting enough rest. Exercise and eating well are great, but hard to do when you’re exhausted.

    • Anon

      I am 100% aware of how obnoxious this is going to sound because I used to hate hearing it. Lately, I’ve gotten back into working out and my energy is higher than it’s been in years. I am a typically tired human so this is kind of exciting for me. If you can, try to add in some of the lifestyle habits you had previously. If this continues, go for a check up with your dr to make sure it isn’t something more serious.

      • H13

        +1 I am someone that needs a lot of sleep but I don’t always get it. Working out is really the best thing for helping my energy and I like to do it first thing or early in the day when possible. Even if it is just 10-20 minutes.

    • Anon

      For me it was a combo of turning my phone to grayscale at 10pm (which prompts me to stop scrolling and either go to bed or do something non-screen), taking B complex vitamins in the morning, and using a cheap sunlamp alarm clock from Amazon.

      I made all three changes at a similar time so I’m not sure which helped more, but after a few weeks it really changed my alertness levels for the better.

    • anon

      Ironically, waking up earlier, a good morning routine, and making time for things I like.

      I used to get up at 8/830, be a sloth, and make it online/into the office around 9/930. On days I wfh’d I’d literally roll out of bed and to my desk 2 feet away. I was exhausted and felt like a slob and hated it.

      In November I started a new job and I’ve re-vamped my morning routine. I now get up at 6, spend time reading and cross stitching (or whatever my hobby du jour is), workout/take a walk outside, shower, do a morning routine (I feels so much better about myself when I’ve done a skincare routine, am wearing different clothes, and most days I do a very little bit of makeup to feel put together. I also make sure to eat a healthy breakfast instead of skipping or having a croissant from the coffees shop), and then still start my day at 9. Having a good routine and building in time to do things I enjoy makes all the difference in the world for me! On days I don’t do that (like today…) I really, really feel the difference and I don’t like it.

      Now that my evenings are free, I have time to socialize with friends, cook a healthy dinner (instead of relying on takeout), and make sure I spend 5 mins tidying up so I wake up in a clean bedroom. Getting up early also forces me to bed earlier (between 10-11 rather than between 11-midnight).

      • Anon

        I think this is really important when WFH. This is now so ingrained that I didn’t even think about it until I saw your post, but it does make a big difference. I start every morning with some kind of exercise, a healthy breakfast, a shower, and different clothes. It’s easy to skip that when you don’t leave the house, and it definitely makes me feel lousy.

      • Anon

        LOL I was about to recommend sleeping later! I fought it for years, but my body just insists on being alert until after midnight and then sleeping until 8:00 or 9:00. No amount of healthy lifestyle will shift my internal clock earlier, even though I tried for decades to force myself into being an early riser. It made me groggy and miserable.

        • sleep

          Sounds like you are the perfect candidate for melatonin every night at 8pm and sitting in front of the happy light when you wake in the morning (earlier), and with morning exercise outside to get natural sunlight.

          It is possible to shift your internal clock, as your situation is very, very common.

          • Anon

            But if this person is happy and productive with the 12-8 sleep schedule, why should she do this? Going to bed and getting up at a certain time isn’t virtuous.

          • Anon

            Nah. I’m not taking drugs and aging my skin with UV just to fix a problem that is only a social construct.

          • Anon

            No, it is not always possible to shift our sleep/wake cycles. It’s known that people have different defaults, and that it leads to worse health outcomes if we fight our hard wired schedule.

          • sleep

            Most of us don’t have the luxury to make our own sleep hours. If you do, lucky you!

            And yes, in most cases you can make the shift. The poster here isn’t even shifted enough to even be considered to have a phase shift disorder.

            I was just speaking from my expertise and offering a suggestion. Most folks don’t see sleep doctors, even though they can be helpful, and there’s often a ton of misinformation about health issues on this site. No need to pounce.

    • Nina

      Iron pills, B12, getting enough sleep have worked best for me. I think exercising more has helped too, and I say this as someone who hates when exercise is provided as a solution for anything

    • Aunt Jamesina

      Are you in a colder climate? I generally feel a bit more tired and low-key in the winter and try to embrace it to a degree, but I also make sure to use my mood lamp in the morning and try to get outside once during daylight if at all possible. Working out (or even just a brisk walk) also helps.

    • Anon

      Re. diet/nutrition, I find it helpful to diet track for a week on a purely observational basis (fitbit or cronometer) and pay 0% attention to calories: just nutrients. For me it’s motivating to actually see the numbers. I can’t sleep or exercise my way into “meeting RDAs,” but sleep and exercise become a lot easier for me when I am hitting those targets.

    • anon

      Getting more sleep (easier said than done), and taking a good, hard look at my obligations and commitments. Even if something is fun, it can be an energy drain. A weekend power nap has become almost non-negotiable at this point.

      • Anon

        +1

        I was never full time wfh but I feel so different days I’m in the office 4 days a week vs 1 day a week. I’m such a slug at home…

    • Auburn

      Cutting down on drinking has been huge for me – and has definitely improved my sleep quality. I have also noticed a difference from drinking more water (was realllly bad about this for probably the first year of the pandemic until I finally ordered a new, larger water bottle that I keep on my desk) and incorporating a few supplements (fish oil, prenatal, inositol). I’ve also been trying to add at least one fruit/veggie to every meal. So even if I’m having pizza for dinner, I’ll still throw a couple handfuls of arugula on top. I’ve definitely noticed a difference in energy over the past few months. Whatever you do, start small! I’ve made the mistake of trying to revamp my whole lifestyle to be “healthier” in the past and your brain just can’t stick with that many changes at one time. Or at least my brain can’t :)

      • anonshmanon

        incorporating a fruit of veg in each meal has been so impactful for me too! When I don’t have the energy to hit all the boxes (mostly plant based, healthy, delicious, variety, enough protein, whatever else), this is one thing I can do almost always because it’s quite simple.

    • Anonymous

      I found following insomnia recommendations helps: set a consistent sleep schedule, etc. Getting outside a bit each day also helps: a walk or snowshoe, some outdoor project or running errands.

    • Anon

      I started taking calcium-magnesium and vitamin D supplements recently, on the advice of my gynecologist, and was amazed how much my energy level shot up. I am always lower-energy in the winter but I was turning into a sloth. I brought it up to my GYN at a recent appointment and she recommended the supplements. I was skeptical but they really worked for me. I say this with a caveat that I had just been through comprehensive bloodwork at my PCP that showed nothing wrong with my CBC, blood lipids, thyroid, liver enzymes and several other things, and my GYN knew that before she made the recommendation. I think bloodwork is always in order if you’re feeling really tired or off as a first measure, just to be sure.

      • sleep

        What calcium supplement do you use? I just can’t swallow the big calcium pills and even the calcium chewables are kind of nasty to me… haven’t found a good one yet.

        • Anon

          I got the calcium-magnesium supplement from Costco mostly because I am cheap. They are big horse pills. So probably not what you’re looking for, unfortunately.

        • Anonymous

          Try buying a pill splitter – swallowing two halves is much easier for me.

    • Anon

      Get bloodwork done. My doctor said I was deficient in iron (common for women) and B12 so I’m taking supplements now and she is confident I’ll feel a difference.

    • Anon

      The biggest change I can make is waiting for the days to get longer. This happens to me in the winter and I don’t try to guilt myself into thinking I need to life hack my way out of it.

    • allieoops

      I had this just tired feeling for a while and my doctor found my vitamin D was low and suggested a vitamin or sunshine. I opted for a gummy vitamin because it’s tasty and I burn really fast so sunscreen up all the time. It solved my tired feeling in a couple weeks!

    • MJ

      Cosign the rec to get bloodwork done. Turns out I was anemic, had low vit D and my thryoid was low. THANKS WFH! I feel way better now that has been fixed!

    • Lorelai Gilmore

      Two critical things based on my experiments on myself:
      1) Giving up sugar. Sugar (and carb-heavy lunches) were making my energy spike and crash. It was really helpful to just give up sugar and made my energy much more consistent and stable.
      2) Limiting caffeine to first thing in the morning. As I got older, caffeine was staying in my body longer. When I gave up caffeine entirely, I noticed that I was able to go to bed and fall asleep earlier. It’s been net beneficial for me. (Note that I still miss caffeine greatly, so it’s not like this was a fun change, but I do notice that I’m getting better rest.)
      3) A sun light, used in the morning. Really helps me feel more energy during the day.

    • Sloan Sabbith

      Same bedtime each night. I’m able to get up in the morning now rather than oversleeping every single morning. I still sleep in on the weekends, but not nearly as late as I used to and I’m still going to bed at the same time almost every night.

    • Coach Laura

      I had a long bout with Cancer Related Fatigue, and did a ton of scientific paper research on how to increase energy. What I came up with is:

      -Exercise daily, start with 10 minute walk if necessary. Preferably outside in the sunlight.
      Work up to aerobic exercise, 30 minutes five days a week.
      -Eat well – low processed foods, low sugar, sufficient protein, lots of veggies and beans and whole grains.
      -Vitamin D and Vitamin B12 – Moderate supplementation, nothing crazy. Ask doctor for test of levels at first but know that most Americans are deficient in D, which helps the immune system and may even help with covid/covid recovery.
      -Thyroid levels – have doctor check.
      -Sufficient sleep, meditation and stress relief as needed. Yoga, stretching help.
      -Happy Light – use of a SAD light, even if you don’t have Seasonal Affective Disorder may help. Especially in winter at higher latitudes.
      -American Ginseng – mild supplementation. Ask doctor if you are on any other drugs to be cleared for interactions.
      -Wellbutrin. It has been the best for me, where low energy is a marker for low mood. Other antidepressants may work if Wellbutrin doesn’t work for you.

  11. DCER

    If I am attending a small elopement (for visa reasons) and then a larger wedding for the same couple in about ten months what is the gift protocol? Something off the registry for the larger wedding and then a token gift for the elopement? Cash?

    • Anom

      Only one gift is necessary. If you feel so inclined, no harm in a token gift for one of celebrations.

      • Anonymous

        Yep this. I sent fancy chocolate from a local maker as a token gift when I had a similar situation with friends, since I figured other people would send champagne.

  12. Carla

    What food would you keep in an office fridge?
    My office, and therefore the fridge is pretty empty right now. They have chips and candy stocked, but nothing either more filling or healthier. I usually don’t get time to eat breakfast at home so I’ve been keeping greek yogurt in the fridge for breakfast. It’s good to have an option vs just buying stuff. What are some other things that I could keep in the fridge that wouldn’t take up too much space / you wouldn’t be annoyed if a colleague kept it there / could stay for a few days if I dont eat it immediately?

      • AIMS

        I was just going to say hummus. You can keep some pita/pita chips/carrots/etc. either there or in your desk (depending). I also bring granola that to round out my Greek yogurt and will often eat that by itself as a snack in the afternoons (I like the Purely Elizabeth granola b/c its relatively low in sugar and delicious just by itself).
        If you have a freezer I am a fan of the frozen TJ Indian food – it makes a good lunch and doesn’t take up a lot of room.

    • Anon

      When I still went to the office I kept things for lunches like peanut butter and salad dressing in the fridge.

    • MagicUnicorn

      Hummus, veggies, and cheese. My fridge neighbors are weirdly entitled, though, so I would be sure to put all the stuff in a bag or container or they would think it was for the whole group and my week’s worth of office food would disappear by Tuesday afternoon.

    • Anan

      At my former workplace we used to get the bug bag of string cheese from Costco and keep it in the fridge. “Communal Cheese” we would call it. It also lasts forever.

      • Anon

        My last in-office job we had Communal Costco Snacks. A lot of us shopped at Costco and we made an agreement that when we shopped, we would pick up an extra big container/box of something for the office. So each of us would bring in the string cheese, or Babybels, or granola bars or trail mix packets so we always had something in the break room to nibble on. It was a lifesaver during our busy time. More than once my lunch was string cheese, a granola bar, and a packet of nuts or whatever else someone had brought in.

    • Senior Attorney

      I am super into sugar snap peas these days. They only last about a week but are a healthy and filling snack.

    • Fridge food

      You mentioned breakfast. Do you like overnight oats? You could keep milk or milk alternative in the fridge, and in a cupboard keep oats and whatever else you like (such as cinnamon sugar, walnuts, raisins, dates) and make overnight oats in a jar when you leave for the day. Or do something similar with chia pudding.

  13. Another quitting question!

    I’m about to join everyone who has quit their job recently! This is the first time I’ve had to do this where I was leaving for another position (vs life reasons like going back to school.) For those that have done it, what were your experiences like? How did people treat you after you gave notice?

    I know it’s pretty difficult to actually keep in touch with old co-workers and that part of this is sad for me! But all in all, it should be a positive move (I hope).

  14. Travel Agent?

    Hi all! Does anyone have any travel agents to recommend? We want to go to Portugal and Morocco for our honeymoon in September and I’d love to have some help planning it.

    We’re in Chicago but willing to work with someone remotely and prefer the kind of agent that take a cut of hotel/excursions, rather than someone we pay directly.

    TIA!

  15. Anonymous

    Any Disney adults in the hive? (Orlando?) Any tips – best cocktails to try, most annoying kid stuff to avoid?

    • Anon

      Me, though I haven’t been in the last couple of years!!
      – Love grabbing a cocktail and poutine out on the deck at the Nomad Lounge in Animal Kingdom. It’s the perfect place for a little afternoon break and snack.
      – Get a Dole Whip and eat it in the Enchanted Tiki Room.
      – California Grill on top of the Contemporary is delicious, and if you have dinner there, you get access to the rooftop terrace to watch the fireworks show going on in Magic Kingdom (even if your dinner is earlier, your receipt gives you access to come back for the fireworks).

    • Anon

      Be ready to shell out for everything. Disney has taken nickel & diming to a whole other level, and the price of admission doesn’t include much anymore. I miss the Disney of my young adulthood.

  16. Anon

    Does anyone have favorite towns to stay in in Willamette Valley? Girls’ weekend, will plan to do lots of wine tasting and eating. I’ve done McMinnville before. Should I stick with that, or any other favorites?

    • LawDawg

      This is a bit south of where you are staying, but I’ve been to Willamette Valley Vineyards a few times and the experience was great. It’s just off of I-5 near Salem, which doesn’t seem picturesque, but it is a beautiful vineyard with a lovely tasting room that also serves good food. FWIW, the finale of Top Chef Portland was filmed there last year.

    • Willamette Anon

      Stay in Eugene at Inn at the 5th or the Gordon Hotel, and have multiple tasting rooms (J. Scott Cellars, Bennett) and restaurants (Marche, Akira, and more) and boutique shopping within a very very short walking distance, and then drive to King Estate, Antiquum, Walnut Ridge, and other vineyards in the Southern Willamette Valley. Walk along the river or hike at Spencer But te, go to Thinking Tree Spirits, drive to Creswell to go to the Creswell Bakery, maybe see a show at the Hult Center. These are my suggestions as a local :)

  17. Fort Lauderdale

    Any recommendations for interesting/amazing/fun restaurants and activities in Fort Lauderdale? DH and I are taking a no-kids trip for 4 nights next month. We’ve both been multiple times but usually for work or with kids so haven’t explored the food scene much. The goal for this trip is some sunshine and pampering. No budget for the restaurants. We won’t have a car but can Uber. We’re staying at The Atlantic Hotel & Spa on the main beach boulevard so restaurants on the boulevard or Las Olas would be preferred. Thanks!

    • Anon

      Go to Lobster Bar on Las Olas for fabulous seafood, definitely a nice splurge. S3 in the Hilton also has great food and cocktails and is a fun atmosphere, make a reservation for an outside table. Have fun!

  18. Anon

    I’m trying to hire a lawyer for my in-house team – what websites are people using to find in-house jobs these days? Want to make sure we’re posting in the right places and our recruiting team is not familiar with legal hiring (sigh).

    • anon

      GoInhouse is really the best resource. I would also consider law firm alumni programs if you have a connection there (Kirkland has a good one) and the ACC which has a jobs board.

    • Leatty

      Honestly, just Indeed and LinkedIn. That’s how I found both of my in-house jobs.

    • Is it Friday yet?

      Is there a specialty association for the area of law you’re hiring in? Those can have job boards, and I found my in-house job on one.

  19. Vicky Austin

    My sister’s wedding dress got stuck in a) the trucker protest and b) the subsequent blizzard. Just sharing my dose of weirdness for the day!

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