ByElizabeth Hours Updated
Comments 266 Comments

Wednesday’s Workwear Report: Claudette Fisherman Sweater

White cable knit sweater

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

A fisherman sweater is a classic fall look, and this one from Able is one of my favorites. The hip length is perfect for pairing with pants or skirts, and the “antique white” color looks great with a wide mix of fall hues.

I typically think of the fisherman sweater as a more casual style, but it can be a great preppy look for the office when layered over an oxford shirt or paired with a skirt suit.

The sweater is $140 at Able and comes in sizes XXS–3X.

Sales of note for 12.13

  • Nordstrom – Beauty deals on skincare including Charlotte Tilbury, Living Proof, Dyson, Shark Pro, and gift sets!
  • Ann Taylor – 50% off everything, including new arrivals (order via standard shipping for 12/23 expected delivery)
  • Banana Republic Factory – 50-70% off everything + extra 20% off
  • Eloquii – 400+ styles starting at $19
  • J.Crew – Up to 60% off almost everything + free shipping (12/13 only)
  • J.Crew Factory – 50% off everything and free shipping, no minimum
  • Macy's – $30 off every $150 beauty purchase on top brands
  • Spanx – Lots of workwear on sale, some up to 70% off, plus free shipping on everything (and 20% off your first order)
  • Talbots – 50% off entire purchase, and free shipping on $99+

266 Comments

  1. Where are you putting medium term savings (say 5-7 years out) these days? Just dumping into the stock market continues to be my plan for my 25-30 year retirement horizon but with the current gyrations in the market, I’m not sure that’s the right route for a this time frame. Other than I Bonds, I’m not sure where to store such savings and am looking for tips. (Or TIPS, if someone can explain what they are, I don’t really get it.)

    I’m feathering the nest before a contemplated move from Big Law to government, which would reduce my salary to 1/3 of its current value. I want to have a nest egg for the potential reoccurring charges I couldn’t reduce like disability insurance payments/egg freezing storage or something big and expensive like IVF. (Sighs in single in your 30s.)

    1. Does your law firm offer egg freezing as a benefit? If so, I would do it before you leave. I also know that many women wait to freeze their eggs until 35+, and their is a reduced likelihood of success compared with eggs retrieved at a younger age. None of which is responsive to your post, other than the idea of maximizing savings by doing the egg freezing process before you leave the firm if there is a benefit.

        1. Oh they’re like a grand a year? That kind of thing belongs in your savings account

      2. Yes – there was a recent article somewhere about a study that indicated that age at egg freezing was correlated with fertility. You can probably find it if you google.

      3. I have a really dumb question that I’m hoping the lawyers can weigh in on. Are the frozen eggs in any “peril” given the wildly misogynistic and retrograde abortion laws that are sweeping the country? And if so, is that a function of the woman’s home state or the state in which the eggs are being kept? Ditto for IVF situations.

          1. Abortion is necessary medical care especially in medically complex pregnancies such as occur during IVF.

          1. This is incorrect. Destroying fertilized embryos is a legal minefield right now in certain states.

    3. I hesitate saying this because my data may be out-of-date but re: the egg freezing thing, consider whether you might want to use donor sp*rm and freeze embryos rather than eggs. A few years ago when I was in the throes of IVF/infertility research, it seemed like freezing embryos was better than eggs. (And sorry this is responding only to a tangential thing in your question.)

      2. I was told that eggs were now equally successful, that the thawing process had improved. May depend on the clinic.

        1. Context: we did IVF (own eggs/sperm).

          My understanding is that embryo freezing is preferable to egg freezing, when possible, because you’re left with a much more realistic picture of your statistical likelihood of a live birth from the number you freeze. You might freeze 20 eggs, but then if all 20 thaw properly but only 8 fertilize and only 2 become viable embryos, you’re looking at much different numbers than you would have maybe assumed based on the 20. It helps the doctors figure out the quality of your eggs because they don’t really know that until they attempt fertilization.

          1. This. I did four rounds of IVF (embryos) in the past year. I had A LOT of eggs, and very few were genetically normal once they were fertilized and reached blastocyst stage. It is always better to freeze embryos than eggs for chances of having a live birth. It may not be the right thing for you if you are hoping to take your many frozen eggs and add them to a (future) partners’ sperm one day.

            Also, ladies–I waited until I was 41 to begin my IVF journey because I never found prince charming. Take control of your fertility well before that, and save 100K!

      3. While it is true that embryos are hardier than frozen eggs, I had great success with my frozen eggs (healthy baby from 20 frozen eggs with an embryo left over that I don’t plan to use). I froze in 2014 when the technology was still new and success rates are much higher now. Some people for a variety of reasons don’t want to freeze embryos and as long as you’re cognizant of the risks, it is an incredible option that ultimately helped me build my family after I met my DH at 37.

    4. 100% freeze your eggs right now. I’m 41 and just starting the process. My company very generous fertility benefits and I looked into it 3 years ago. Then COVID happened and I kind of threw my hands up. Now, I have significantly fewer follicles (where the eggs come from). Do this as soon as you can.

      Regarding freezing eggs/embryos, the main benefit of embryos is that you’ll see immediately which eggs are “good”. When freezing eggs, you won’t know until the embryos are created. The tech is now to the point where there’s not too much of a difference with viability for eggs vs embryos. A while back, though, it was a big difference.

      1. I’m surprised you’re freezing at 41? My doctor said at this age it’s time to just get pregnant.

        1. One reason to freeze is that the statistical likelihood of any one egg you have at age 41 being genetically normal is low. IVF increases your odds greatly of having a normal pregnancy, since you have many more chances per cycle.

    5. A mix of stocks and high yield savings (for me that’s VTSAX and Ally). The proportions will vary depending on your risk tolerance.

    7. To answer your question, I have too much cash. Still maxing out retirement accounts and investing that money though.

  2. Have we decided what’s in for work pants? I’ve been avoiding buying work clothes, but need a new pair of black work pants (size 16/18). Any recs?

    1. For black work pants, I’d look for whatever silhouette best suits your body shape, rather than being concerned about what’s in. For me, that would be flare, boot cut, or wide leg. They’re more flattering on me than a straight leg or a slim leg—because my legs are neither straight nor slim and those cuts fight against my shape, not complement it.

      1. Agree 100%. I am so pleased to be able to easily find bootcuts again. They work with my body in a way that skinnies and straights ever have.

    2. I’m the same size as you and recently bought the J Crew Factory Jamie pants and really like them. Elastic waist, drapey fabric, straight leg.

      2. Yup, same here. I’ve also had decent luck with the easy ankle pants at Ann Taylor.

      3. Has anyone tried the maternity version of the Jamie? Also included in the sale today and I’m tempted.

        1. I have them in both black and navy. By far the best maternity work pants I’ve ever owned (pregnancy #4). My only question is what shoes to wear them with once the weather turns and we’re in snowy weather since they sit like ankle pants on my 5’9″ frame.

          1. Ah, I’ll be interested to hear that as well. I can’t seem to make ankle boots + ankle pants play nicely. Thank you for weighing in!!

    3. Not trendy but I always get the NYDJ knit ones – they come in 16P which is rare.

  3. I’m getting tired of always being the bigger person, the urge to be polite or not have a confrontation is making me feel like a pushover in life but it’s all things not worth an argument. For example a friend who lives in the suburbs has moved into the city, while visiting me in the my suburb she recently commented why would anyone want to live in the burbs when the city has so much to offer. I know she’s excited to have moved and it was pointless to point out she was being rude as she was just so clear in her opinion and I felt the confrontation would spoil the visit. That’s just one example but I feel like I always end up biting my tongue in life when someone has a strong/rude thing to say as by replying I’d be the one starting a drama. Similarly, someone at my sports club loudly declared they’d never done a covid test and never would (regulation was you did last year). I wanted to call them out on it but just felt I’d be the one causing a scene by responding. Everyone did a lot of eye rolling and moaned about it after.

    1. I think it is one person being clueless and you making a choice not to be deliberately mean. That is a good thing.

      OTOH, I also think it is OK to say “ouch” the next time. I think this is t starting something but a natural reaction to the verbal equivalent of someone stepping on your foot (and I mean stepping vs purposefully stomping).

      1. +1. It’s ok for you to be hurt by your friend’s comment, and it’s ok to say something.

    2. In my group of friends, that kind of comment would be sarcastically called out in a joking way and we would all laugh and move on. I often try to be the bigger person too but there are other options between turning something into an argument and not saying anything at all.

      1. +1 to this, there are ways of pointing out someone is being clueless without escalating it into A Whole Thing. Something like “ok Susie, let me know when my pied-a-terre will be ready!” goes a long way.

      2. yep, I can be the bigger person all day at work, but when I hang out with friends, I will be my snarky self.

    3. Stop being a doormat then? “Wow Tiffani that’s pretty rude, I like the burbs.”

      1. Ha. Many women in my bookclub lived in DC proper and there was a subtext that it was much cooler to live there than in the suburbs. Fast forward 5-8 year and many of the most pro-city people have moved to the suburbs.

        I think when you are comfortable with your own choices, things like this don’t bother you so much. There are many things I like and do that are not “cool,” and I don’t care!

        The guy not taking the COVID test when required… I don’t know. For that, I might have a quiet chat with whoever was supposed to be enforcing the rules.

      2. Whew this is easier said than done, considering how a lot of women are socialized their entire lives not to be direct or make waves or upset anyone! I’m still working on it.

        1. Same, 100%. I was raised to be so incredibly non-confrontational that this is extremely hard for me. I also don’t typically think of a good response that doesn’t unnecessarily escalate the conversation until like, I don’t know, 2AM that morning. I’m still mad at myself for not reacting calmly but also strongly to a remark I received a few years ago that was a “ding” against the public school where I am sending my kids. Thankfully, this doesn’t happen all that often, but that also means I don’t have a good way to practice. I also am very, very bad at delivering a response that is measured in response to the speaker’s remark. I am very, very good at being very, very aggressive, and I’m very, very good at not responding. I’m not great at providing reasonable pushback to a good friend.

          2. Oof, you have described me. My DH is so good with the casual pushback when a friend says something dumb. I just am not that quick with a comeback.

          3. I’ve been on the receiving end of similar remarks, and I wish I had confronted them as well. It’s not healthy, but I do feel vindicated that several years on, my kids and that woman’s kids are at the same school and my kid has better grades.

        2. Well there’s no better time than now to start trying to unlearn this! And mildly telling your friend who made a thoughtless comment that hey you like where you live is a very low stakes situation to practice on.

      3. “Well, I like it. Different strokes for different folks” or “That’s why they make chocolate and vanilla” or some other thing, if said correctly, can shut this down. But then also think about — so someone else thinks the ‘burbs you live in are boring. And so what? If you like your ‘burbs (or whatever), isn’t that all that counts? Other people are not obligated to “like” your choices.

    4. “What a strange thing to say” or “What do you mean by that?” have been my answers to such rude comments.

      1. I think I picked this up from some advice columnist, but my go-to response when someone comes at me with a passive-aggressive rude comment/question is to say “Wow, what an odd comment/question. What lead you to say/ask that?” I have one relative who got taken completely off-guard by this, and I haven’t had any problems with her making backhanded mean comments to me since then.

        There are some people, OP, who derive a tremendous amount of pleasure and satisfaction from “zinging” people. It makes them feel like they are superior to the person they’re speaking to, or that they have the upper hand in the conversation. The bigger your reaction, or the more you make it clear you’re upset, the happier they are. Unemotionally challenging them with the above statement has been the best way I’ve found to stop the behavior. Or, you can just choose to find other friends who don’t do this kind of thing.

        1. I like to say “wow, that was awkward, I’ll give you a chance to rewind and try that again”

    6. The friend I would kindly or humorously call out something like “Hey I’m right here!” because friends care about respecting each other. The stranger I would fantasize about replying something snarky like “Good share” but that kind of personality is looking for folks to get bent out of shape. It’s in person tr0lling. Do not feed!

    7. Another response I like is “tell me how you really feel”, said ironically/ jokingly when someone comes on a bit strong for tact.

    8. Right there with you! I get sick of being the bigger person as well. Sometimes I feel like middle age is a long marathon of not confronting people who are a few decibels short of being openly deranged, paired with a heaping side dish of being treated badly for making a reasonable request. (Oh, I’ve mixed metaphors, someone call the writing police!)

      While I can sometimes pity people who are thoughtless/rude about stuff like where I live, sometimes it just grates and grates. Especially from friends or relatives. Yes, my house looks a little shabby. Yes, my neighborhood/street/state/career isn’t as nice as yours. I can never think (or never want to say) a snappy retort in the moment.

  4. Beautiful sweater! Has anyone ordered from Able? What’s their quality like?

    1. I have. Arrived promptly, good quality, I think it’s fair trade/woman owned. I’d buy again.

  5. Hello from the frozen north. A kids question but really I suppose a fashion question.

    My daughter is playing basketball for the first time this year. I played as a kid in the Great Bitter North and wore adidas tear away pants over my uniform. I’d trudge through the cold, get to the gym and tear my pants off and BOOM, I’m ready for practice.

    Google tells me those don’t exist anymore. What do youths playing winter indoor court sports wear now? Do they have to (gasp) take off their sneakers to take off sweats? Wear slides or snow boots i to the gym the. Switch to sneaks? She’s young enough she doesn’t have bball specific sneaks so that hasn’t crossed my mind but might be the answer as it gets both colder AND icier.

        1. You are a wizard my internet fiend. I googled all morning and only found vintage pants, a knockoff on Amazon, and these Nikes in orange and sold out.

          I am here to bring back the 90s :)

          1. Happy to help! And now I kind of want a pair for myself, if only to dramatically take them off at home.

    2. My sons wear leggings under their shorts and bring boots and change into sneakers in the gym.

      1. This. Leggings under shorts is the current style…and for my son, they liked shorter ankle/calf leggings under the shorts for basketball, lacrosse etc.

    4. Even playing elementary school rec league basketball I had basketball shoes that were separate from other sneakers, so I’d wear boots and then change into basketball shoes in the gym. I was a pretty serious athlete in other sports but basketball was always very casual and purely for fun but even still had basketball only shoes in 3rd grade.

      This was the early-mid 00s and the snap off pants were out but we all wore wide leg sweat pants or nylon swishy pants. They were pretty much boot cut (no cinching at the ankle, or if it had that we cut it out) and fit over our shoes so we could put them on or take them off without changing shoes.

      Given the styles of jeans these days these sweatpants might be back too.

    5. The very casual rec league I played in as a kid required us to change our shoes in the gym for snow, slush, and salt reasons. Both to protect the gym floor (we played in the high school gym) and to prevent injury from someone slipping due to a wet shoe. So, I’d just have her wear separate shoes and take off the sweats when she changes shoes.

      1. Of course! But her bday is before all that starts so I wanted to get her fun pants :).

    7. In the olden days when I was in high school in the great white north we weren’t allowed to wear outside shoes on the court, because of the damage the salt and sand did. We had to change footwear from boots to sneakers in the locker room, so the idea of changing footwear as a hassle is weird. Not sure about now, my daughter was a pool-based athlete.

    9. You are weirdly overthinking this. She can just change her shoes. That’s what everyone will be doing.

    10. Doesn’t she have to take off her sneakers regardless to switch to her inside sneakers?

    11. Look at stores that has clothes for mountaineering and expeditions – these have zip side trousers of many kinds – wind, thermal/insulating, wool leggings etc.

  6. I love fisherman sweaters but for some reason have never found one that actually looks good on me.

    2. Ugh same. My mom passed down some cool very chunky 80s sweaters my grandmother had made my mom and I love them. They look terrible on me but I still wear them for sentimentality and warmth. My grandmother had awful arthritis and had to stop knitting by the time I was born so these are the only knit things I have from her.

    3. Same. They make me look more blocky and lumpy than I am. Which is too bad, because I dig the style!

      1. It’s a look. No one looks lean and mean in a chunky sweater. If you like a fisherman’s sweater, wear it when you want to be warm and cozy, and figure flattery be damned.

    4. Love fisherman sweaters, even if they make me lumpy.

      There’s an Antiques-Roadshow-type show on Netflix, set in the UK – I think it’s called “Flog It.” In one episode an elderly Scottish man, in response to the appraiser complimenting his sweater, calmly explained that all the fishing villages had a unique pattern for their sweaters. That way, after a fisherman fell in and drowned, he could still be identified even if the fish had gotten to his face.

      The growing alarm on the appraiser’s face was … memorable.

      1. I read a similar anecdote in one of Elizabeth Zimmerman’s knitting books, and it was…unexpected, lol.

          1. It is true though that many traditional Irish and Scottish sweaters have patterned bodies and plain sleeves, because the sleeves would wear out over time and could be re-knitted fairly easily. The patterning on the body was because it’s thicker and warmer and more water repellant.

    5. Look for different weights of yarn. It might not be authentic to have a beautiful, off-white cable knit sweater in a thinner yarn like merino, but unless you’re a fisherman, you don’t have a practical need to be that authentic. Thinner yarn drapes better, so easier to wear.

  7. I went in for my flu shot this AM and the nurse asked if I wanted the Moderna bivalent (further research confirms I was not eligible, but oh well, they can’t take it out of me) and now I can barely feel my face. I’m supposed to be doing article proofs but today is not the day for close reading.

    1. Well that’s just socialized medicine for you. We can all get it and you’re immune compromised so idk why you wouldn’t.

      1. Did you think this comment would be helpful for someone who is clearly in a celebratory mood?

      2. How on earth is this related to socialized medicine?

        Hope you’re on the mend soon, Cb!

        1. Because Cb lives in the UK and the UK still hasnt made most people eligible for another booster, never mind the bivalent one. In the US, you can walk into CVS tomorrow and get it if you want. Here in the UK, you need to be aged 50 years or over, at higher risk or pregnant, or a frontline health / social care worker to be eligible for any 2nd booster. You can’t request a bivalent one, you just get what you get.

          1. Yeah, I don’t think I’m actually in the eligible risk category (clinically vulnerable, not severely CV) but the NHS record didn’t seem to show up the category. I got called in for a flu shot but they offered it anyways…

          2. We’ve also had phased rollouts of different vaccines in the US, and we don’t have socialized medicine.

          3. You can’t easily get one in the US either. There’s a lot of demand and appointments are weeks out, not “walk into the pharmacy and get a shot”

          4. I’m not sure why comparing US availability to UK is an argument against socialized medicine. COVID vaccines in the US were bought en masse by the federal government and are free whether you have insurance or not. Sounds a lot like socialized medicine to me!

          5. I walked into the pharmacy and got a bivalent booster today. I haven’t heard of anyone having to schedule weeks in advance. I live in a red state though.

      3. She got the Moderna shot, as evidenced by “oh, well, they can’t take it out of me,” so what is the problem here?

    2. If it makes you feel better, unless you recently had covid, you would have been eligible in the US.

    3. Owwww and in the little crunched bit of time you had with the heavy teaching load. No fun. The flu shot this year was a doozy, too. Feel better soon.

      1. I know! But on the bright side, my lectures are all prepped for next week and my husband and I have a day date tomorrow – lunch at a trendy place (Ka Pao, for Edinburgh folks!) and tickets to a play, so that’s something to look forward to.

    4. I got the Moderna bivalent on Monday, am also immunocompromised (RA, I take a DMARD and Humira) and I’ve been having luck layering NSAIDs and acetaminophen to stave off symptoms. Just in case you haven’t tried that!!

    5. Oh yeah, that booster absolutely kicked my butt when I got it. I got it in the morning, was able to work during the day, but started to feel iffy by late afternoon, and that night I was running a fever and shivering under a blanket. I took a sick day the following day because I was so fatigued and achy, but I realize not everyone is able to to do that. Really glad I didn’t get a flu shot the same day, but I’ll get that in the next couple months or so.

      1. It completely laid my wife out for almost 48 hours, but she’s had bad reactions to every covid shot she’s gotten. I hope mine’s not so bad!

  8. Someone commented on yesterday’s thread that they still eat at a lot of restaurants in Chicago through December – could you please give me the names of a few of your favorites? I’m worried that the pandemic is over in the Midwest and outdoor dining after October is a thing of the past.

    1. That was me. I’m not in the city unfortunately – just in the general vicinity of Chicago. So I don’t have specific recs in the city. The pandemic is definitely over in my rural area but restaurants invested in heat lamps and haven’t thrown them away so it’s possible to eat outside pretty comfortably when it’s 45-50 degrees out.

      1. Agree. COVID is not gone- nor are other airborne illnesses- but the pandemic itself is over. I say that from Massachusetts, where there are a lot of masked people indoors (and even outdoors) these days.

      2. It’s not over in the Bay Area. I visited last month and we went to several places that had indoor mask mandates, and my friend’s kids have to wear masks at school and daycare. It’s very different than the Midwest where mask requirements haven’t been a thing in a long time.

        1. I just looked up our old Bay Area school district and masks are optional, fortunately. Where are they still required, do you know?

          1. My friends’ kids are at private daycares and preschools, and required to wear masks. I looked up the K-12 school district in their town (south bay) and it looks like masks are strongly encouraged, not required. But I would argue that strongly encouraging masks isn’t the same as making them optional. I imagine there’s more peer pressure to wear them when the policy is worded like that. Here in the Midwest everything has moved to “optional” or “not required” language that is very dismissive of anything except wearing one because you want to. “Strongly encouraged” is saying they can’t make you wear one legally, but you should wear one morally to protect others, which is not the same. I was also really surprised that places like the SJ Children’s Museum still require masks indoors. Chicago is the most liberal part of the Midwest and all the big Chicago museums went mask-optional back in the spring. There was also just way more voluntary mask-wearing in places like the grocery store. So overall it did feel pretty different to me, yeah.

        2. I’m in the Bay Area, and it’s definitely not over in the same way it was over when I visited Kansas City on June of 2021, but it feels much different than it did 6 months ago. I’d say 50% of the kids are wearing them in our elementary school. I was not aware any place had a mandate other than theaters, but my kids are too old for the children’s museum.

          1. I definitely agree things feel pretty normal in the Bay Area, very different than 2021 for sure! But it’s different than the Midwest and doesn’t feel “over” there the way it does to the vast majority of people here. 50% of kids still wearing masks in schools is staggering to me. I have not seen a single kid in our ~600 person elementary school in a mask since last spring, and even then it was maybe 10% of kids in masks at most. And we are a pretty blue city, where most people complied with the mask mandate when we had one and many people (including us) voluntarily had their kids in masks until the kid vaccine was available.

      4. Is there a bridge dweller among us today? I’m seeing a few anonymous mean spirited replies sprinkled throughout this page…

    3. As a Chicagoan I don’t recommend most outdoor dining past early November. In my experience the heat lamps help keep your body warm but your food immediately gets cold. If a friend insists on outdoor dining then I either just get a cocktail or something meant to be served cold, like sushi or a hummus platter. Before making a reservation check Yelp or Google for photos of their outdoor setup. You want walls or barriers that block the wind (although I realize that a mostly enclosed space sort of defeats the purpose of eating outside)

    4. Check out frontier, pilsen yards, and Kaiser tiger. Once we get closer to November December, I’m sure lots of the articles will update their lists on what places still have patios open.

    5. You might look for places that have igloo dining. I’m not in Chicago, but the idea is you have a private heated enclosure for just your group. We did it in the Midwest on a ~30 degree day in January and it was completely fine. We brought winter coats but the igloo was heated to probably at least 60 degrees so we didn’t wear our coats. It can be pricey though. Ours had a $20/person cover charge in addition to a food and beverage minimum spend. But if you’re really cautious about Covid it may be worth it.

    6. A lot of the restaurants around Randolph & Halsted and Clark & Grand still have outdoor dining set ups which should continue through the winter in some capacity. Wouldn’t necessarily recommend eating outside in Chicago in December but if you’re set on doing that, those two areas would have the most options

  9. Re brushless makeup, I have very oily skin. I have never found a better powder than Bare Escentuals and it used a fluffy brush. Is there something brushless that might work?

    Also any sticks for blush etc that don’t disappear into oily skin?

    I wonder if Sephora would let you click on prior items and see what other products have that color and functionality but in a stick formulation. Maybe you need to book a consult to drill down like that?

    I like my brushes but wouldn’t mind a brushless life. Travel would be so much easier.

    2. Do you have Kiko cosmetics where you are? Their blush stick is very popular (I love it but have dry skin)

    3. Benefit blushes come in little boxes with a brush. It’s my go to because it makes it so easy.

      1. They don’t come with brushes anymore! I was very sad when I recently discovered this.

    4. You don’t need to book a consult at Sephora. Just look at what the major brands have to offer. Off the top of my head I know NARS makes blush sticks.

    6. I have very oily lids and I like nudestix for eyeshadow sticks. I don’t like their highlighter stick though

    7. I have been pleasantly surprised by the rare liquid and cream blushes. I find the liquid more pigmented and I use it more in the summer on oilier skin, the cream blush works well on my drier winter skin.

    8. I’ve heard good reviews of Wet n Wild and Milani’s stick products from an influencer I follow.

      1. I picked up a Milani liquid blush and I really like it! I am an oil slick.

    9. Get thee an Artis brush and use it for everything. It’s relatively small, fits in a tiny makeup bag, and hen you don’t need to change your entire routine.

    10. I’m not sure how you’re planning to apply powder without a brush. Liquid foundation is easily applied with fingers but with powder you’re either looking at a brush or a powder puff, and I believe BE recommends a brush.

      If you want to go brushless and switch to a liquid foundation, that’s a different story. There are lots of liquid foundations that work for oily skin.

      For cream blush, I like the NARS sticks (but not Orgasm, which is more of a highlighter in the stick form) and Bobbi Brown Pot Rouge, not a stick but a pot. It’s really nice applied with the fingers. Just dot it on with one finger and keep bouncing the fingers around until you have the look you like.

    11. If you have oily skin, then you probably have acne-prone skin. I would avoid cream blushes.

      The powder I like which is powder-foundation, is MAC Studio Fix. It has its own puff built in.
      The blush I like is MAC in pots, and I just have a collapsible blush brush (so it folds up). It’s not a lot.

    12. I like Milk Makeup’s stick blush. Also Tarte just brought back their cheek stain that I quite like, it’s more of a gel than a cream but the application is the same.

    13. I have oily skin and had good luck with Thrive Causemetics triple threat sticks. The darkest one (Tessa) was also a great lipstick color on me that was long wearing.

  10. Ladies who love athleta – REI is having a 40% off all athleta sale. I may order some Brooklyn pants finally.

    5. I’ll note that the Pranayama wrap is one of my go-tos — super easy and washes well.

    7. Unfortunately, you have to belong to the REI co-opp, which costs $30. Could totally be worth, though, if you’re buying a bunch of athleta stuff!

  11. Has anyone here been to a yoga retreat you’d recommend? I’ve got some vacation to take before the end of the year. I’m in the southern US but willing to travel!

    1. I have some friends who have done Yoga Adventure Worldwide retreats before and they rave about them. They have a bunch of different locations–Morocco, Croatia, Mexico, etc.–and seem fairly affordable

  12. Has anyone used a Baboon to the Moon bag? They are so cute and I want a 35-40L bag that actually looks cute.

    3. That looks like it would be so uncomfortable to actually wear. The straps look terrible, there’s no waist strap. I know it has handles so you could carry it, but the 40L one would be so big and bulky. Cute, but looks atrocious from a functionality standpoint. You could find something similar but better at Cotopaxi, I think.

      1. Would love alternate suggestions! I’ve looked at Cotopaxi and haven’t found anything I think is cute.

          1. Oh no no no no no. Love that you found this truly appreciate it but way too crayons for me.

    1. I used slow-fe years ago when I was pregnant on the recommendation of my doc. Took with food, felt better immediately.

    5. Floradix/Floravital. I always feel better when taking this regularly, and it tastes ok (but I also love both black licorice and Marmite, so…)

    7. Barimelts are designed for bariatric patients but they are the easiest iron I’ve ever taken. They are melts, so you put them in your mouth and they dissolve. They do not make me feel sick at all, and I tried everything before this only to feel nauseated all the time.

    8. They’re not! I like heme iron and take Proferrin Clear.

      I like it because it has no GI side effects for me and actually raises my levels.

      I dislike that it’s not cheap but hey.

    9. Vitron-C has fewer GI side effects. Smaller sulfur burps at a level I consider very management. The one with the pink and white box had greater GI side effects and didn’t consistently raise the level in my blood (I donate regularly). Naturemade was not consistently effective Do not/not get the get the Target generic; the side effects are horrendous.

  14. How do you stay the course and make decisions that are best for you even if they’re financially suboptimal/ family members are telling you to reconsider?

    I bought my first place very young at 24-25, with the help of a chunk of cash from the sale of my last grandparent’s house. Eighteen months later, lockdown hit and the isolation was awful – if I had been renting I would have handed back the keys and gone home to my parents. Since then we’ve been doing a huge piece of mandatory repair work on the building, so my first opportunity to put the place on the market and move (I want to leave both because the flat holds all the horrible memories of fear and isolation and also because the city I live in is too far from my parents as they get older/ I don’t have anything keeping me here, as well as some pull factors to the place I want to move to) will be the start of next year. Cue market turmoil (I’m in the U.K.).

    The most sensible choice from a ‘life’ perspective is to sell up and rent for a while – I don’t know exactly where I want to be longer term and I expect my next job to come with a significant pay rise that would allow me to afford more than I can now. Unless my flat has lost a significant amount of value over the four years I’ve owned it, I won’t be any worse off than if I’d rented for those four years and invested the money.
    But my parents are now saying ‘oh by stepping off the housing ladder now you’ll miss out on growth, you’ll be able to buy less in three years than you can now’ etc – which is all well and good, but… I don’t feel ready to buy (again)! I don’t know where I want to live, or how much I can afford. It’s entirely possible that I’ll be ready to buy again by the time many of my peers are ready to buy for the first time – I know I’m incredibly lucky.

    This is the first time I’ll be making a really big life decision that prioritises my happiness over what my parents think is right – so I guess I’m asking for advice on when you had to do that and how you managed to do so without second guessing yourself.

    1. Are you allowed to rent out the flat to someone else while you go rent somewhere else yourself? And save selling until the market improves?

      1. I would lose money month on month by doing so, even before taking into account fees and costs of being a landlord. The market still seems pretty buoyant where I am – I guess I can always put the flat on the market and then decide whether to take any offers?

        1. Yeah, I’d put it on the market and see. With mortgages getting pulled, you might be looking at a longer process than you’d have liked anyways. Are you still working remotely? Can you rent a furnished flat or cottage somewhere fun for a month to give yourself a break?

    2. I did it with a man I dated at 21. It was a great decision, and he’s wonderful, though we eventually broke up. Being able to make a different choice than my mom would have, and to have her respect my reasoning, has made our relationship so much better in the ensuing 13 years. My sister still craves her approval, and their relationship is much more turbulent.

      This of course is different than money, but you’ve said yourself that renting is the practical choice for you and you’ll likely come out even vs. renting. Homeownership is really, really not for everyone; it’s not any more secure an investment than the market; and you have particularly good reasons for renting. I would hope your parents can respect it when you set that line, but if they can’t, that is their worry and emotional baggage, and you do not have to take it on.

    3. “Thanks for your input!” then change the subject and make the choice you want to make anyway.

    4. I think “managing to do so without second guessing yourself” is not a useful goal to have here. This is a situation where you’re inherently going to second guess yourself. It’s a big decision, of the kind you haven’t made before, where you feel unsure and uncertain, and where people you value have strong opinions that are different from yours. Not second-guessing yourself in a scenario like that would be highly unusual.

      I’d look instead for “What are indicators that I’m making a wise, smart, reasoned decision, even though I have second guesses, and even though people I value are telling me I’m wrong?”

    5. So I’m with your parents, I’d stay in your place (don’t rent it out, that causes wear and tear that will reduce your value not to mention any renter protection issues, which may exist, I don’t know UK law). You don’t have an active plan now for the next step you want to take and your issue is it’s too far as they age. If you’re in your late 20s, that’s probably not a real issue for you for quite some time. Let your investment appreciate, and take steps to make the place one you like to overcome the fear factor. Decorate it, make it your own, find local spots you love to go to, have people over, etc.

      1. I have an active plan for my next step – I just don’t know where it leads after that. I hope to meet a partner, for example. I’ve tried loving the place I live for six years and I just don’t; the plan is to move back to somewhere I loved living before.

      2. I fully agree. Your parents are right. And “I hope to meet a partner” isn’t a plan.

        1. I think “I hope to find a partner” is at least part of plan. If Mouse is moving to somewhere with more folks her age, a bigger social scene, a place with more opportunities for hobbies – then yeah it’s part of the plan.

        2. You reallydon’t have to financially maximzie every decision. No one is promised tomorrow. Don’t continue living somewhere that makes you unhappy just because it might be marginally better for you financially in a hypothetical future.

      1. I agree with this, but I also think there’s a difference between listening to people with experience on financial matters and more personal issues, like relationships. With housing, finance, etc. there is a body of knowledge that people can draw from and provide good advice. For relationships, you’ve been in one, you’ve been in one. There’s some wisdom in talking but it’s less objective. OPs parents may or may not be sophisticated investors, but if they are, I wouldn’t dismiss their advice so quickly.

        1. It doesn’t sound to me like OP is dismissing the advice quickly.

          Sometimes the decision that will make more money on a spreadsheet still isn’t the right decision for the individual. One example is paying off a low-rate mortgage early. The feeling of security for the individual might outweigh the amount that could have been made otherwise.

          It seems the OP is saying that her flat holds bad memories for her and that she wants the sense of freedom that comes with renting and exploring. If she’s in a position in her 20s to do that, maybe she should! She can afford it. I wish I’d done more of what she’s talking about in my 20s instead of listening to everyone else all the time.

          OP, not to sound too crazy, but you seem like you have a good head on your shoulders and you should trust yourself. If your parents disagree, you can politely thank them for their insight and then do what you want :) If they are good parents, they will support you in the end.

          1. +1 to 11:24 AM. I have a family member who we are constantly talking down from impulsive and poorly researched financial decisions. You are not doing that.

          2. I completely agree with this. And while your parents have more experience in real estate issues, I’m not convinced any of us have great insights into the crazy market right now and in the near future.

    7. If you’re used to taking your parents’ advice in most things (which is common if you’re in your 20s and have a strong relationship with your parents), it’s really hard the first time you have to make this kind of decision. What has helped me is getting a view from a third party on the situation. For example, can you talk to a real estate agent to get a sense of the market in your area, comparable sales, etc? Having an outsider’s view on the business aspects of this might help you.

      Getting around second-guessing is going to be hard – honestly, I think you just have to not allow yourself to dwell on those thoughts; there’s not really another way around it.

      1. This is really helpful, thanks! They really trust their financial adviser so I’ll see if I can talk to him about it (and pay the fee to do so)

    8. Make a list of the pros/reasons why this is right. Hang it on your fridge/make it your phone lockscreen. Refer to it whenever needed.

      Repeat to yourself, “In order to live a happy life, I’m gonna have to disappoint my parents a little bit.”

      Politely nod when your parents offer their opinion, then change the subject. Do not attentively listen.

    9. Your parents are right, sounds like a terrible decision (emotionally driven and not rational). Could you rent it out and then rent a place with roommates (since you say it does not make sense financially to rent it out and rent a place of your own)? It will be less lonely too.

      1. Emotional health is also a good goal. OP will not be destitute without home ownership and sometimes a sense of freedom and escape from bad memories is worth it to an individual, no matter what math says. Life can be about balancing emotional and logical concerns. I have spent a lifetime doing the logical thing that everyone told me was right and have a lot of regrets.

        1. Exactly. The point of money is to buy yourself a better life. If you are frivolous with your funds, that makes for a bad life down the road. However, the goal is not to die with a Smaug the Dragon size pile of gold; it’s to spend in ways that make your life better.

        2. +1. Our move across the country left us slightly worse off financially but we aren’t broke and I am measurably happier. I’m even looking forward to Christmas, which is wild.

    10. The bigger issue is, as you aptly noted, how to make decisions for yourself when your parents believe differently. This is not the first decision where your parents aren’t going to agree with you and it won’t be the last.

    11. I have Opinions on renting. While the growth and equity in a home is the best move, all other things being equal, we do not live in a world that ia a controlled lab experiment where all other things are equal.

      Renting makes sense when you cannot afford a home, cannot afford unexpected large repair expenses, when renting is so much less expensive that the equity gains and tax advantages do not balance it out, or when you may be moving soon.

      The latter two categories apply to us – weirdly cheap rent because we are great tenants and are planning on moving >40 miles away in the next 1-3 years. “When are you buying a house?” When it’s not a seller’s market and we know where want to live. Next question? But people are weirdly addicted to homeownership as a hallmark of adulthood, as though 2008 never happened.

    12. Yeah, speaking of 2008… a relevant cautionary tale:
      I also bought a house super young in 2004, and by 2007 it had already appreciated quite a bit and I also realised that I hated the town I lived in.
      I wanted to sell it and move back to another town where I knew I’d be happy, but I let my boyfriend talk me out of that and then 2008 happened and the value was literally half what I bought it for. I was unable to sell it and had to keep it, and when I finally decided to move anyway I had to be a landlord for years before the market rebounded.
      Don’t own a single family home in a town where you never want to live.

      1. On the other hand, as a homeowner in the inner Bay Area, if I hadn’t bought my first house when I thought it was way way way too expensive, I would never have been able to buy my second house, which was only within our reach due to the proceeds of selling the first house for twice what I paid for it. So I get what OP’s parents are saying about leaving the home ownership market.

        If you’d been able to stay put in 2008, you would eventually have made a boatload on that house.

        But yes, of course, don’t buy a home where you don’t want to live for a long time.

    13. You already know a lot about what you want in terms of how you want your life to look like in a couple of years. You want to live closer to family, you are planning to look for a new job and you want to be more social and meet a long-term partner.

      You also know that it’s important to you to be able to flee your current flat and get to feel that you have a fresh start after the pandemic. It’s easy to get why spending more time in a location you don’t love, in a flat that makes you remember shit times, when the pandemic has hit home that family members are vulnerable and something you value.

      So you have a great start at changing your situation. It’s okay to value other things more than equity! One thing to keep in mind just now, in the UK, though, could be that the current situation where the Bank of England is taking action to counteract the PM/Chancellor’s “growth” plan, is that it’s possible the rental market will be in higher demand and more expensive for a while, since less people can get mortgages, and some people will be scared to enter the market. You might be competing with more people renting than before.

      That situation could both give you an opportunity to have less competition if you wanted to buy a new flat where you actually want to live, but also give you a lower price and less interested buyers while selling – along with higher rental prices.

      So it’s a good idea to do the numbers! Look at ads for flats somewhere you want to live – both rentals and for sale. Look at ads for flats where you live now – both rentals and for sale. What do you get for your money if you keep the expenses the same? Check if you can move the mortgage (with presumably favourable conditions) if you sell and buy somewhere else. Make a budget for moving expenses as well.

      And maybe think about whether you could commute from where you want to live to your current job, if the moving is the most important. Or if there is room – could you start with a roommate in your current flat to take immediate action to break the emotional this-is-where-I-am-miserable-and-lonely cycle?

      1. I use reusable batteries for a food scale that goes through regular ones in 2 weeks – I recommend!

        1. What kind of food scale do you have that goes through batteries that fast?!? I’ve replaced the batteries in mine literally twice in the ~6 years I’ve owned it.

      1. I dont turn it on until it’s in my mouth and my mouth is fully closed around it. Turn it off before spitting. Plus I stand back from the sink a little and lean way over so my mouth is over the sink. I dont have issues with getting it down my front.

    4. I love my Waterpik Sidekick. It is so small and sleek compared with the big Waterpik units and is easier to keep clean.

  16. So I read here and elsewhere that insurance has to cover 8 home Covid tests per month. But I tried to get some while getting my booster and was told that my insurance plan doesn’t cover it. Does anyone know why that could be? I have a high deductible health plan but from a quick Google it seems like that’s not the issue. This is so frustrating as we test often because we spend a lot of time with my elderly parents.

    1. Go to your insurance website and see what they say. I think they have to cover them, but that doesn’t mean they have to cover every kind of test at every pharmacy. Mine only covers them at CVS and you have to get them from the pharmacy, not the regular checkout. But there’s a section on their webpage that clearly explains how to get them.

    2. perhaps only through certain retailers or certain delivery methods (e.g., mail order). I got mine through CVS and was told it was only one particular brand, as well, so I couldn’t get Binaxs in-person on insurance.
      If you log into your insurance website they may have specific instructions on how to order (mine does).

    3. Some insurers are doing reimbursement (you pay out of pocket and submit the receipt), rather than paying up front. Have you tried googling your insurer’s name and “COVID tests” and seeing what they say?

      1. The pharmacist said they were simply not covered under my insurance, regardless of how I purchased them. I tried googling but couldn’t find any info.

        1. My response is in moderation, but google isn’t the right approach here. You need to look up how your specific insurance handles this on their (insert forbidden word here) or just call them.

        2. It’s often a reimbursement thing. The pharmacist wouldn’t be putting them through insurance. You would pay out of pocket and submit your receipt for reimbursement.

          I agree with the advice to look it up on your insurer’s website or call their customer service number.

    4. I have a HDHP and have had no issue getting packs of 8 for free. I order them through my insurance company’s online pharmacy (linked through their member portal).

    5. One possibility is that your plan will only directly cover the cost at certain preferred pharmacies, and you were at a non-preferred pharmacy. In that case, you would have to pay up front and submit for reimbursement from your health plan. I think they have to reimburse you up to $12 per test.

    6. Log in to your account on your health insurance website. There should be a Covid/testing link that will tell you how to get coverage under your plan.

      It’s common for health insurance companies to have a fairly restrictive method of not having to pay upfront (ie, go to the pharmacist counter at XYZ pharmacy chain and present your health insurance card and you can get ABC brand) along with a method of getting reimbursed if you don’t want to go to the exact chain they have a contract with.

  17. Question for the DC ladies! I’m from rural Kansas and have never had the opportunity to travel extensively. DH and I are planning our first “big trip” to Washington, D.C. for later this month. Our travel agent has provided the following 6 hotel recommendations that we know fit our budget and are available the nights will be in town.

    CitizenM Washington D.C. Capitol
    Residence Inn Washington Capitol Hill/Navy Yard
    Hyatt Place Washington D.C./National Mall
    Hotel HIve
    State Plaza Hotel
    The River Inn

    Does anyone have opinions or recommendations from among these (or strong warnings against)? We’ll be doing most of the “touristy” things you would expect a first-timer would do (museums, National Mall, wharf, etc.) In particular, as rural people unfamiliar with cities, we’re particularly attentive to whether the general areas (Foggy Bottom and SW Waterfront) are safe? We won’t have a car!

    1. Based solely on location as I know nothing about these individual hotels, I’d cross the Citizen M and Hyatt Place off your list. They are in a kind of odd area– busy with office workers during the day, but, IMO weirdly quiet at night, despite being close to two very busy areas (the mall to the north and the wharf to the south).
      Hotel Hive is right next to GWU, so will have a lot of students around.
      I’d probably pick the second one based on location. You’re super close to a metro and a ton of restaurants, walkable to the mall and Capitol Hill. That will be busy, though; if you’d like a quieter location (based on your note about not being from a city), I’d go for the River Inn. If you stay there, go to Tatte for breakfast and Rasika West End for dinner!

    2. One vote for the River Inn. Although it requires a metro ride from the Foggy Bottom stop to most of the usual tourist spots, it’s lovely and safe. It’s also a great starting point for walking to Georgetown, Dupont Circle or the Kennedy Center. Terrific option if you want a balance between checking things off your sightseeing list and enjoying some downtime exploring neighborhoods on foot. Have fun!

      1. Make that two–I used to live on their street and it’s delightful! Close to everything, yet charming and secluded, somehow. Don’t know the rooms, but their restaurant was excellent.

    3. I would stay at Foggy Bottom, not the Waterfront. There’s not as much going on at the Waterfront and I think metro options are not as good.

      There is so much to see and do in DC, and most of it is metro accessible! All the Smithsonians are free, so you can pop in and see a couple of exhibits, then move on to the next one. Don’t forget the National Portrait Gallery, which is not on the mall, but is right at the Gallery Place metro stop. When you are done there, you can pop over to Jaleo or Oyamel for Spanish tapas or very good tacos and margaritas. Rasika is in that are, too. The Renwick Gallery, which is near the White House, is also very good. And there is a rooftop bar at Hotel Washington on 15th Street from which you can look down on the White House. I wouldn’t eat dinner there and the drinks are a bit pricey, but the view is excellent.

      The Spy Museum, which is not far from the mall and not free, is also worth a visit.

      You’ll be near Georgetown, which is a very picturesque neighborhood to wander. I’d also try to get over to Adams Morgan or 14th Street, which both have a lot of restaurants and bars, and lots of them have outdoor seating, which, COVID aside, is kind of nice. If you like tiki drinks, Tiki on 18th in Adams Morgan is fun. For food, I recently had an excellent dinner at Lapis, an Afghan restaurant in that neighborhood. If you are looking for a nicer dinner, Convivial, which is just north of the Convention Center, is very good and the service is very nice. Also in that area are Chaplins (ramen and other Japanese food) and Zeppelin (sushi). Oh, another place that I think is very nice, although a bit pricey, is Iron Gate in the DuPont Circle neighborhood. The food is very good and the setting in an old building is lovely, as is their outdoor patio.

      Gosh, I could go on and on! Haven’t even discussed City Center and the H Street neighborhoods, not as familiar with those. H Street has a restaurant called Fancy Radish, which is more upscale vegan food and even as a devout omnivore, I’d go there again, the food is really good.

      If you stay in Foggy Bottom, take a walk over to the Kennedy Center even if you aren’t going to see a show. They have a new immersive exhibit on JFK, the views from the terraces around the building are lovely, and they have a park called The Reach where you can hang out and have a beverage (beer, wine, canned cocktails) and a snack.

      I would say most of the parts of DC where you are likely to be are pretty safe. Be aware of your surroundings and your belongings, of course. Also if you are riding the metro and don’t feel safe in your car, you can get out at a stop and just move to another one. I have walked around the center of DC (so, around Metro Center and Gallery Place) by myself at night (like 10-11 pm) and it’s fine.

      1. There is a huge amount going on at the SW Waterfront, which is the hub of the massive Wharf redevelopment. You can even take a water taxi from there to Alexandria or Georgetown. You may just want to check location and where it is compared to the Wharf main attractions, and not too close to the L’enfant Plaza part of the SW quadrant which is a little empty at night.

      2. Another thing to check – I don’t know if they are still doing it, but the Marine Barracks in the Capitol Hill neighborhood used to have parades/drills on Friday nights that people could go to (you need a ticket). Something to look into.

      4. Another thought – if you can’t go up the Washington Monument, go up the Old Post Office Clock Tower instead. Also free and run by NPS, but it’s less well known, not to mention for a while the Old Post Office was converted to the Trump hotel so most people forgot its existence for a time…

    4. Rooms at Hive are adorable but absolutely tiny. I think it’s a “micro-tel.” I’ve stayed there for work and it was fine because it was just me and I was only there to sleep and shower, but if there are two of you and you want to relax in your room, I might choose another hotel.

    5. The Foggy Bottom and SW waterfront areas are both very safe expensive places, and considering the amount of luxury development happening at the Wharf and SW in recent years, you’ll be fine. No need to drive in DC – most tourist places are metro accessible, or else you can do ride-share.

      I personally like wandering down the Yards Park riverfront in the Navy Yard area (easily metro accessible) and stopping for ice cream at Ice Cream Jubilee. I would also take a walk in Georgetown, both the university and the neighborhood.

      Depending on how much time you’ll be visiting DC, if there is extra time I would recommend visiting the Mount Vernon, George Washington’s estate. I believe there is a way to get there via public transportation from DC.

    6. The River Inn is my work’s go-to place for putting up visitors. It’s not the most modern, but the neighborhood has easy access to Metro and is very walkable and you’ll find there is enough foot traffic even at late hours that it feels safe.

    7. At the National Gallery there are a few exciting exhibits starting this month including John Singer Sargent and Vermeer (girl with the pearl earring). And always free! And the Kusama Infinity Mirrors exhibit is still ongoing at the Hirshhorn: a relatively small exhibit but very lovely and amazingly it’s free in DC – I strongly recommend getting in line 30-60 min before they release free daily tickets for this exhibit. I also recommend a hop on hop off bus tour to see the monuments around the Mall unless you really like to walk. It’s several miles around and is bigger than it looks on a map. Have fun!

  18. Is there a phone app for more reliable Gmail notifications? The Gmail mobile app had been consistently notifying me when I got new emails but now it just waits for me to open the app and then updates all my inbox notifications at once. I need closer to real time notifications that consistently come through – is there a third party app that does this better? I’ve been burned by the Gmail app too many times.

    1. Can you set up a forward to a different address with its own app, like Outlook?

      (Alternately, did you turn off push notifications by accident?)

      1. cosign the second option… I switched the Gmail app to focused notifications (I only get the push when Gmail thinks it’s an email of interest and not every single email). It works OK but it’s not always right about what is of interest & what isn’t.

    2. I don’t have any issues with Gmail pushing notifications to me as soon as the emails arrive. Did you change your settings to turn them off? I think there are 3 options – no notifications at all, quiet notifications, or All The Things.

    3. I think you might need to reset your settings. It sounds like you currently have the option where you have to swipe down once you’re in your inbox to refresh

  19. Hi all – related to one of the comments above, I’m about to start my first egg freezing cycle. Anything I should know? Did you get side effects? I’m single, 34, and will be doing the shots myself (which I think will be ok, but have never had to give myself injections and haven’t started yet!). Thanks!

    1. The only shot I couldn’t have done myself was the HCG trigger, because of where it does (in the butt) and the terrifying size of the needle. I would line up a friend to do that one if possible, although it will have to be the kind of friend who will come to your house at 10 PM because it has to be done at an extremely specific time based on your scans and the timing of your procedure. (It honestly didn’t hurt hardly at all but the needle is intimidating.)

      1. Super intimidating. But also my partner is a wimp about needles, so I did it myself with the shotblocker they sent (little acupuncture device) and a mirror, and it was fine.

        Be prepared to have your belly be pretty uncomfortable in the days prior to retrieval, especially if you have a good response. I felt like I was carrying around something between balloons and marbles.

      2. Oh, and the piece of the instructions about using the alcohol swab on the top of the tube (if syringing up medicine) as well as on your skin? Do that; it’s important to prevent infection. I didn’t and was fine but then watched lots of nurses prep shots (thanks, chemo) and was like, wow, I was not being safe with those needles.

      3. My clinic recommended a nurse who could make house calls for the HCG trigger shot–it was 100% worth it. Maybe ask your provider if they have a recommendation.

    2. You’ll be fine! For the shots, just watch the videos, have everything set up, and give yourself plenty of time. The early morning internal ultrasounds are a rude awakening but fine. You’ll probably have some discomfort but nothing major.

    3. Also, if they give you doxycycline to take around the retrieval time, DEFINITELY take it with a full glass of water. Like, a big, full one. Doxy is notorious for essentially burning your esophagus (it’s called pill-induced esophagitis). I didn’t really notice that the instructions said to drink a full glass of water, and I irritated my esophagus so badly that I had to see a gastroenterologist.

    4. I just went through this! I was able to do all the shots myself – had a different trigger than the poster above. I was mostly stressed about messing things up, but it all worked out in the end. The hormone injections affected me emotionally (felt constantly on the verge of tears and had some periods of wild/manic giddiness and laughing). I could also feel my ovaries right away and it was pretty uncomfortable by the end of the 10 days. But my friend who also froze her eggs had none of those symptoms and was back to normal the same day as the retrieval (whereas I needed a full day on the couch and little activity the next couple of days). Everything was manageable, though – I was able to work through the whole process, though probably billed a little less than normal. My retrieval was over a weekend but definitely take a full day off if it falls during the week, just in case. Good luck, I feel so much better having done it!

      1. Sorry, one addendum to the above – as my estrogen levels spiked towards the end of the hormone injections, I was also pretty nauseous. Ginger ale and electrolytes fixed it though

    5. My tips:

      * The shot stuff is intimidating the first day or so, but you figure it out fast.
      * Find out if you are permitted to go through any pharmacy you want. If so, price shop–MDR pharmacy in California is often the cheapest for fertility drugs and they ship nationwide.
      * You will feel bloated and need to eat healthy throughout (before, during, after).
      * You will likely be constipated after retrieval, so when they tell you to eat light, they mean it.
      * You may experience super-duper-mood swings or insane insomnia due to the hormones–I basically didn’t sleep for two weeks–it’s not fun.
      * Schedule your check-in appts early, so you don’t have to miss work.
      * Plan to take the whole day off for the day of retrieval. I was fine pain-wise, but you do undergo twilight anesthesia, so treat it as real surgery.
      * Be kind to yourself–you can’t control the outcome here much. Realize there’s more than one way to have a family if you cannot do it the traditional way.

    6. The hardest part for me was learning to do the injections and actually break the skin. Once the needle was in you, it wasn’t that bad. The frequent blood tests were bad for me because of my veins and my arms bruised a little. Also, unfortunately it didn’t work for me so be prepared to not get as many eggs as you wanted. Some people get 2 and other get 20. It’s luck if the draw unfortunately, but only getting a few is more common than people want to admit.

  20. Any thoughts on Quince vs. PB bedding? I really PB’s styles, but the price is hard to stomach, even on sale. Just wondering if Quince is worth the internet hype because maybe I can find something I like just as well.

    1. PB all the way. Quince is just growing money away that will later turn into something nicer. You sleep on your bed every night.

    2. What PB style are you looking for? I had a PB linen duvet cover for years, maybe 12, possibly longer. It finally wore thin after nearly year-around use. I could not stomach the price of a PB replacement and bought one off of Etsy that is, so far, 3 or 4 years in, just as good. If it is something more distinctive, you could haunt Ebay and such. Their patterned pieces turn up there a lot.

      1. It’s one of the cotton duvets and it has a subtle design. Honestly, I should probably just go for it. Better to buy something I love, and use it for a decade, than to buy something I like and be itching to replace it earlier.

    3. I can’t speak to the bedding but I ordered two pieces of clothing and was not impressed. Don’t believe the marketing hype.

  21. Has anyone done a wine tour in Bordeaux, France that they enjoyed? Looking to go there Veteran’s Day weekend this year–I know that’s pretty late in the harvest season so options may be limited. Even an indoor wine tasting at a winery would be lovely.

    1. This was back in 2018 so it may be pretty outdated, but my husband and I organized our own day trip from Bordeaux – we rented a car and I lined up individual tours and tastings for us at several wineries on the Left Bank. We visited Chateau Pape Clement, Chateau d’Agassac, Chateau Gruaud Larose, and Chateau Kirwan. Pape Clement and Kirwan were my favorites of those four. Wineries in Bordeaux typically make (and you’ll taste) just two wines so you may be fine to drive between if you rent a car, but you can otherwise hire a driver. I think there are supposed to be some nice guided tours of Saint-Emilion on the Right Bank so that would be a great option too, although I don’t have any tips there!

  22. To Anonymous planning a November weekend getaway wanting outdoor dining:

    Tampa is a great solution with direct flights to most domestic airports. I would stay downtown – the Marriott Water Street is gorgeous and has great coffee, restaurant and bar options. I would start my day with a long walk down Bayshore (linear bayfront park) coffee in hand, then have lunch at Armature Works (walkable from downtown or a quick Uber or free trolley ride) plus early afternoon shopping and outdoor entertainment there. Depending on your speed, you may want to transition right into happy hour and dinner at neighboring Ulele (get reservations!) or venture out for a tour of Historic Ybor City before dinner at La Terrazza Ristorante (amazing authentic Italian food). The next day I would rent a Coast bike for a short ride from downtown down Bayshore to Hyde Park Village for coffee and breakfast from Buddy Brew or Sorrento Sweets consumed outside by the fountain. Depending on the weekend, you may have outdoor entertainment or a farmers’ market in the village, as well. There is enough shopping and food in the village to keep you busy all day, but boat tours on the river are a fun way to spend the afternoon. In the evening, walk from your hotel to Sparkman Wharf for the outdoor biergarten and live music, as well as food truck-style dinner. If you need indoor activity suggestions, the Tampa Bay History Center, Florida Aquarium, Florida Museum of Photography and Tampa Museum of Art are walkable downtown.

    There are a lot more options, but this is how I would spend a weekend getaway in Tampa. The weather in November is excellent. Feel free to ask questions if you have them!

    1. Not that poster, but do you happen to know if there’s any way to see wild manatees in the Tampa area? My 5 year old has recently gotten obsessed with manatees and we’re going to Legoland in February, flying in and out of Tampa. We’ll have a car and a free day in the Tampa area.

      1. Check out the Manatee Viewing Center in Apollo Beach. It is a bit of a drive, but manatees hang out there when the weather turns colder because it is near a power plant. I would call before you go to make sure you’ll be able to see them because, depending on the temperatures, the manatees may migrate further inland to stay warm. Not in the wild, but Zoo Tampa has manatees and it is a really great way to spend a half or full day!

        1. This. They’ve really upgraded the Apollo Beach facility in the last few years and it’s great.

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