ByElizabeth Hours Updated
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Tuesday’s Workwear Report: Coco One-Button Blazer

A woman wearing a light pink blazer with a ribbed light pink blazer underneath, and dark blue jeans with a gold belt

Our daily workwear reports suggest one piece of work-appropriate attire in a range of prices.

This petal-pink blazer is the perfect combination of structured and feminine. It’s cut beautifully, with notch lapels and flap pockets, and the pink color will pair beautifully with any neutrals.

If you’re really leaning into spring, I would wear this with a cream sheath. For a more seasonless look, I would do a white blouse and navy trousers.

The blazer is $425 at Nordstrom and comes in sizes 0–12.

A couple of more affordable options are this blazer from Endless Rose (straight sizes; $120) and this 11 Honoré blazer (plus sizes; $248).

This post contains affiliate links and Corporette® may earn commissions for purchases made through links in this post. For more details see here. Thank you so much for your support!

Sales of note for 12.3.24 (lots of Cyber Monday deals extended, usually until 12/3 at midnight)

183 Comments

  1. I cannot figure out rugs. I have a queen bed with a small bench at the foot of it. And two nightstands at the pillow end. How big does my rug need to be? Extending how far past the nightstands and bench but how close to walls and the dresser that is maybe 3-4 feet past the bench? Prior bedroom had carpet. Now I have floors but need a rug for warmth and softness under feet and to make it less of an echo chamber with WFH.

    Like are there rules of thumb or guidelines? I feel like I will know when I’ve bought a pricey rug that is the wrong size so how can I get this right the first time???

    2. I have an 8′ x 10′ rug horizontally under my queen bed so that there’s 30″ of rug on each side of the bed. I think it doesn’t accord with the interior designer rug rules, but the purpose was to have my feet hit something soft and cozy as I get out of bed and it achieves that purpose.

    4. When I hired an interior designer, she told me that you need a much bigger rug than you think. I don’t know the rule of thumb, but she said the #1 mistake people make is buying too small of a rug.

    5. I hate vacuuming under the bed (as opposed to sweeping), so I usually prefer to use runners on the side of the bed.

      But there are apps like “magicplan” (some retailer websites have similar apps) where you can make a room the size of your room, add a standard queen bed, a bench and nightstands (using your exact measurements or just typical sizes), and then add rugs of different sizes to see what works.

      Unless you get a really big rug, you don’t put the nightstands on the rug (you’ll never be stepping there anyway). You can see a lot of examples of this in designed bedrooms. If you want all the furniture on the rug, an 8×10 would do it, but could also look out of proportion in a normal sized bedroom.

    6. I have a queen bed with a 9×12 under it. It’s pulled down so that my nightstand are not on the rug. I think it’s the ideal size but my room is also large so ymmv.

  2. I grew up in a home without background noise- no tv, music, etc. As an adult, I have a hard time focusing on conversation when a bar is playing music or a friend has music on in the car. Any suggestions to help tune in/ focus on the conversation and tune out what is supposed to be background?

    1. Oh man – no advice but same, same. Growing up we might have soft classical music in the background, but not loud music, TV, etc. Now I totally decompensate when my husband wants to play music (especially with vocals) and we’re trying to talk or play with the kids. I know I can be a bit unreasonable about it!

    2. Same, we would only have the TV on when actively watching, and would sometimes have the radio on when doing chores etc. but not just all day long.

      Not sure if nature or nurture but I still dislike general background noise! I am totally the person who turns down or pauses music if there is a complicated stretch of driving, etc.

      (PS – no one can hear or focus in loud bar music.)

    3. Does adjusting the volume help at all? I find bar music really hard to handle, mostly because it’s so freaking loud and it forces me to shout to have a conversation. But in the car, background music really doesn’t bug me.

    4. No solutions, just commiseration.

      Like Cat said, in a bar it’s on purpose. If there’s very few guests and early in the evening, you can sometimes get away with politely asking if it’s all right to turn it down a bit, but not if it’s during busy times, it’s part of how they make money.

      In more private social places, I’ve found no solution for this. I think TV background is the worst, TV that nobody’s watching and it’s just on, I can’t tune that out at all. In a car I’ll accept whatever the driver wants or need, but I can’t focus on a conversation at all with music or the radio blasting. Can’t tune out restless legs or tapping either, so it’s both visual and audio for me. I am perfectly happy to sit in a car in total silence, though, and I know that makes people on the other end of the scale very uncomfortable.

      1. I have so much trouble with visual distractions. Any motion at all keeps me from focusing, and if there’s a TV in the room I can’t stop looking at it, even though it’s usually some sport I don’t care about at all. I’m generally okay with tuning out music, unless it’s really loud or poorly amplified and distorted, but TV and radio with people talking are a problem for me too. No advice, just commiseration, as I’ve not been able to come up with any solutions besides avoiding those environments.

    5. Same here. Radio only came on when my dad was having his lunch or making dinner. Music and TV only played when actively listening or watching. I spend 90% of the working day with no intentional background noise at home and in the office. Just the ambient noise around me. I think most of my coworkers have headphone on during the day in the office.
      Most of the time I can’t hear myself think if there’s music or something playing. My inner voice is very chatty and I my thoughts are ‘voiced’ in my head so I need to be able to hear myself lol. I play a podcast for companionship while I work maybe 1x a week, usually only on Fridays when I haven’t been in the office the prior day or two.
      Working on hobbies is a bit different – drawing I want music playing for the mood, bookbinding or crochet I want a podcast or a tvshow to fully occupy my brain.

      I’m also really bad at tuning out other peoples conversations, I can’t not listen.

    6. Growing up, we did not have a television. There was one radio in my parents bedroom. My father worked night shifts, so the kids learned to keep the volume down for talk and play. The world is way too noisy for me.

    7. No tips but also commiseration! This is an ongoing issue in my house. My SO has music or tv playing All The Time. I cannot focus and it takes over my brain. I’m just glad to know it’s not just me!

    8. I can’t do it. If I’m in a scenario like with an actual friend in a car, I ask them to turn it off if we’re trying to have a real conversation. Bars… are a thing of the past for me but it’s just hard.

  3. The hive’s been so helpful with the chapter of losing a parent lately, and I’d love to get thoughts on bereavement leave/taking extended time off. I’m nearing the end of a 2+ year in-home caregiving chapter, and the past few weeks were more raw and traumatic than I expected. I’m a 5th year in biglaw and have kept up with work obligations (billed 250 last month) but at a cost mentally, and I’m beyond exhausted. I’d like to ask for an extended time off (6 weeks would be my ideal, anything shorter feels like it wound be consumed with the focus on the end of life adjustment and care for the surviving parent). I’ve always liked biglaw, and could see myself here long term, but I’ve thought of quitting a lot over the past few weeks. I’m worried that if I don’t get a longer break (I.e., to have a week off caregiving and mentally reset), I’d still feel burned out after picking back up and probably leave soon after. Outside of this mental state, that’s contrary to my goals. Im very fond of my team, like what I do, and I think I have a lot of room to grow. I know it’s a huge ask and could impact my progression timeline, and but I think to maintain my career long term it’s a necessary ask. I’m also willing to do it unpaid if needed. Does anyone have insight on how to approach this ask for bereavement/mental leave? I’m most focused on how to present the ask to superiors I really respect as opposed to guesses on if they’ll say yes (I think they’ll negotiate for less time but ultimately agree). TIA!

    1. Take it. I didn’t and it really harmed me for years. “Boss, as you know my parent just died, and I’ve been helping take care of them in the home for 2 years. This has been rough and I’m going to be taking 6 weeks of leave. I’ll work with HR on the paperwork but I wanted to let you know. I don’t make this decision lightly, but I love my job and this is what I need to do to be able to return at 100%.”

    2. Do you have a mentor at the firm or a partner who you have a good relationship with, to get their thoughts? I am so sorry you are going through this and hope you can get the rest that you need.

      1. ooh that is rough. Internet hugs!

        Agree with this suggestion, to help you sound it out in a way that matches your firm’s style.

        Does FMLA apply for your care of the surviving parent? You could talk to HR about that.

        1. All you’ll need for FMLA is a doctors note from your GP. Any of them will write you out for 6 weeks mental health leave.

          Care for surviving parent only qualifies if they are suffering a serious medical condition.

    3. Talk to someone you trust. BigLaw here and we have done this plenty of times as some combination of vacation, bereavement, FMLA leave or personal leave. The challenge is looking through your policies and figuring out how to shoehorn the leave in while still getting paid. I would start by talking to a higher up partner that is in your corner, and brainstorm with them about how its been done in the past. Chances are there are a lot more people that want to help you out than you realize.

    4. Definitely refer to it as bereavement leave and not “mental” leave. Bereavement leave frames it as a once-in-a-career type of leave and will be less likely to raise concerns that you’re unreliable. Focus on the end-of-life and care of widowed parent logistics as the basis for needing the leave (maybe it requires you to be in another geographic location or physically present with widowed parent a lot?) and talk about not wanting to shortchange your work because your clients and your team mean so much to you bla bla bla. Offering to be available to the firm if needed will help smooth things over, but be careful not to word-vomit that offer to fill silence or awkwardness if you know being available will render the leave pointless. Be prepared for the fact that this may be a black mark on you at this firm (obviously unfair, but it’s biglaw) and that you may have to move on, however, you have 5 years of goodwill built up with this firm so you can ask for the leave here but wouldn’t be able to ask for the leave at a new job so if you need the leave, ask for the leave. Don’t offer to take unpaid leave. If you work in biglaw I assume you have weeks of paid vacation each year that you’ve never taken. If they refuse paid leave, you probably need to start a job search.

      1. I think this is good advice. Honestly I think the market is tight enough right now that most leave requests would be begrudgingly granted in most practice areas, but phrasing it as one off is a particularly good idea.

      2. don’t offer to cover, based on what you are saying. I would word it in a way that makes it very obvious that this is an FMLA leave request, without using mental health, definitely frame it more as care/bereavement. Caring for a sick parent is an FMLA leave qualifying reason, so you could potentially be paid (vacation or other PTO) and still have the 12 weeks of job protected leave. I would not make this about your own mental health, as much as the care for your parent and definitely do NOT offer to be available while you are out. Hugs!

    5. I just came out of HR in AmLaw 50 and we did something like this frequently. Reality is that right now (maybe not forever), good associates are hard to find and so Firms are generally willing to do a lot (or, frankly, you’d just go get another associate job somewhere else) Work with a trusted Partner, Mentor or HR/ADR person to understand options and I recommend positioning as a leave to address required “business” related to the loss of your family member. Depending on the Firm, it might be paid, unpaid or paid via vacation but your hours aren’t adjusted. Think on how much you care about that aspect vs. just being able to take the time off. Also, if you are working with a mental health provider, they may be willing to write you a medical note to take a month off, and for most Firms, that would mean your hours get adjusted. There is a way to make this happen!

    6. I did something similar and am very glad I did. The surviving parent passed away fairly soon after my other parent, and I am forever grateful to have had that time with them. It did have a negative impact on my long-term prospects at that firm, but I was more senior than you and this was pre-pandemic when firms (at least mine) were less open to this kind of thing. I would do it again in a heartbeat, partnership be damned.

  4. Thanks for all the help on my “oh no I have no monies” question yesterday. Really appreciate it and the lack of judgment. And my expense reimbursement came through this morning so in the end it was just one day, and a solid lesson in double checking the calendar!

    1. Once, many years ago now when online banking was newer I paid my mortgage payment nicknamed ‘mortgage’ to my ‘macys’ card. I was HORRIFIED and realized it seconds after I hit send. The very nice lady at the Macys credit card department offered to expedite me a cashiers check. My mortgage company let me know I wouldn’t be considered in default for 30 days (I think?) after the payment was due but I had a full on panic attack thinking I was going to default on my mortgage and lose my apartment.
      Long story short – you learned from it, and it happens more often than you think!

  5. Thinking ahead to the summer, I’d like to spend more time in nature. Ideally, I’d like to be going on long walks in the English countryside. Rolling hills but no mountains, not paved paths but not bouldering, different landscapes not just a green tunnel, possibility of a pub at the end. I’m in Manhattan and have a car. Any tips on where I go? Strong preference to not drive onto Long Island in the summer.

    1. Thinking ahead to the summer, I’d like to spend more time in nature. Ideally, I’d like to be going on long walks in the English countryside. Rolling hills but no mountains, not paved paths but not bouldering, different landscapes not just a green tunnel, possibility of a pub at the end. I’m in Manhattan and have a car. Any tips on where I go? Strong preference to not drive onto Long Island in the summer.

    3. South Mountain reservation in NJ. Not necessarily the rolling hills but foresty hiking trails, path around the reservoir, restaurant if that’s your thing. You can even take NJ Transit there.

    5. The Hudson Valley is great for this. Innisfree Garden is really nice. Or a bit further away, I love Olana State Hitoric Park near Hudson. Also – the Vanderbilt Mansion has gorgeous grounds in Hyde Park.

      Closer to home – don’t forget Central Park. It’s huge and there are so many out of the way paths! I sort of forgot about it until the pandemic but would spend hours wondering through and getting a little lost all of summer of 2020. My favorite thing to do is wonder through the Ramble and then slowly make my way up, go around the reservoir and end up in the Conservatory Garden on 105 and 5th – which is like this little Secret Garden and so peaceful and gorgeous and you feel like you are in an old English novel (actually there are three parts to the garden: an Italian garden, a French and an English — so you can be in multiple novels :-)).

      1. When my sister and I lived on the UWS, we used to take our dog on long walks through the park to the Conservatory Garden and back, especially in the spring to see cherry blossoms and tulips and lilacs! <3

    6. Are you looking for a place to stay for the summer and work remotely, or more for evenings/weekends accessible from Manhattan? For the latter, look to the Bronx – Wave Hill and Van Cortland Park are both lovely, with hilly terrain, varied landscapes, and nearby pubs. Similarly, upper Manhattan has several large, semi-wild parks, including Highbridge, Inwood Hill, and Fort Tryon. Bonus for the English countryside feel: Fort Tryon Park has a heather garden!

    7. These are all lovely suggestions! I have been to all of these places many times though and none of them have English countryside vibes. I think I might just need to go to England. Sigh rip my wallet

      1. I second the Hudson valley recommendation, or failing that rural New England. Those English countryside vibes? That’s cleared, working pasture land that you are looking for, with vistas that reach down one rolling hill and to the next hill with a few fences and well shaped trees. The only thing the UK has on us is that they have a right to roam, and we do not. But still, around me (western Massachusetts) we have the look if not complete access. My Scottish colleagues have even mentioned how much my area looks like where they live.

      2. My grandmother, who was born and raised in the UK, always loved visiting Block Island parts of the far eastern tip of Long Island because they reminded her of home. YMMV but both are lovely anyway!

  6. Has anyone been to Disneyland lately? I am planning a family trip to California over the Christmas break and thought we’d check the Disneyland box while we’re there as our kids will be 4 and 6 which I figure are good ages for the Disney magic, plus I don’t see us going to Florida in the next 5 years. I’m wondering how Covid protocols are impacting the experience to determine whether it’s worth going.

    2. We went in March with an 8 and 5 year old and had a great time. Employees generally wore masks inside and we did too but otherwise, there were no covid protocols. It was an overall better-than-expected experience.

    3. I went recently and had a blast. No masks or Covid protocols.

      Make sure you make a reservation for your day. I recommend paying for Genie+.

    4. If you can swing it, stay at one of the hotels on-site. The Grand Californian is the nicest.

    5. I don’t know about Disneyland, but Christmas is the absolute worst time to visit Disney World because it is so insanely crowded. We went to the Magic Kingdom between Christmas and New Year’s several years ago, showed up at rope drop, and got on maybe two rides before 3:00 p.m. It was awful.

      1. Good point. Disneyland is crowded when the kids are out of school. They limit crowd sizes by limiting ticket sales, so definitely buy your tickets in advance, OP!

        Ages 4 & 6 are less about rides and more about magic, so the crowds aren’t as much of an issue for those ages – less waiting in line for the popular rides, more wandering around seeing the decor, characters etc. (make sure you get a character schedule – the characters will wave and smile as they walk by but their handlers keep them moving. If you want a meet and greet you line up for it at specific times and spots)

  7. Is anyone here into Le Labo fragrances? I’m not a regular fragrance wearer but received a gift card for Le Labo. If you are a fan, let me know what you like and I will try it. Thanks!

    2. honestly, all of them are great. they have great candles too. I collect perfumes and from Le Labo, I have the the noir, vanille, rose and santal. the santal was very popular so it feel pretty ubiquitous and it’s not really my favorite scent (there’s like a undertone of a pickle-y smell). It’s a good entry point for perfumes because the scents are not cloying or heavy.

    3. I love white florals so I love Lys 41. Santal 33 is really popular but it’s too herbal/masculine for me.

    4. I love my Fleur d’Oranger 27 – to my nose just pure orange blossom.

      I have sample sizes of several of their scents. If I were going to buy another it would be Lys 41, a beautiful white floral, but I’m pretty well stocked in white florals. I also like the Iris and the Tea ones, but I’m blanking on their specific names.

      1. The Noir is the one I was thinking of when I said the Tea scent, above!

        OP, they will sell you samples for around $5 at the store – If you have a little time to invest in this, buy a few and wear them on different days to see which you like best.

  8. Yesterday my therapist floated a hypothesis that I may have OCD, which was surprising but not out of the realm of possibility, based on what I’m reading about it now. I just never ever considered that I might have it, and had chalked a lot of my mental health issues up to garden variety general anxiety. Any ‘rettes gone through the OCD assessment and/or gotten a diagnosis? Did you find the treatment useful?

    1. oh look it’s me! Thought I had general anxiety for years. I saw a psychiatrist during a particular rough time and they went down a questioning path where all my answers were “yes” and I remember thinking: whatever this is, I’ve got it. Surprise, it was OCD! I have zero obsessions related to cleanliness or ticks (nothing in the colloquial usage of “OCD” to mean very clean or organized or unhappy when things are out of place). I do, however, have extreme perfectionism, issues with procrastination, a black/white all/nothing mentality, difficulty making decisions to the extent where i experience paralyzing indecision. I thought these were parts of my personality, and while that is true, they’re also manifestations if OCD. I got on Prozac and it helped IMMENSELY with these issues—turned the dial down from 10 to 2 or 3. However, I did have some undesirable side effects, so eventually weaned off the medication. I’ve gone back on once at a low dose and eventually came back off. I also have been seeing a therapist throughout this entire thing. Getting diagnosed was initially scary but actually a wonderful thing to happen to me! It’s helped me understand myself and be more compassionate to myself, and handle these aspects of my life better. wishing you lots of luck and success!

      1. Same here. I remember being very upset when it was first brought up in the context of my anxiety disorder but I really do think I have components of it

      2. Similar situation to this for me. My therapist initially thought OCD but after digging into it thought ADHD was more likely.

      3. That is great to hear! I also am much more on the ruminations/obsessive thoughts side of the spectrum and have big problems with the panic-reassurance cycle which seems to be what tipped my therapist off. We’re going to go through the assessment over the next few sessions. It makes sense since traditional anxiety treatment never really worked for me, and she was saying that anxiety treatments can actually make OCD worse in many people.

        Thank you for sharing!

    2. I got diagnosed at 14 – by that point I mostly had obsessions, but as a kid I had lots of rituals. I agree that antidepressants helped a lot. There was also a book I found helpful but for the life of me I can’t remember the title. If I can find it I’ll make a post later today or tomorrow.

  9. Reporting back: thanks, all, for the advice on stomachaches on yesterday’s afternoon thread. It appears I went from very mildly lactose intolerant to fairly strongly lactose intolerant over the course of a few days (potentially triggered by a combo of background allergies and the immunotherapy I received this spring). I was totally not thinking about dairy because the mild intolerance has been such a known and consistent quantity. I had a very pleasant dairy- and pain- free evening last night.

    1. Oh — and you may have saved me a doctor trip, which is awesome, because I have more of those than I desire 😂

  10. Is there a Las Vegas strip hotel with a peaceful pool area? Where servers will bring me drinks and food while I lay there reading?

    1. Vdara is very peaceful because there is no casino on-site, so the whole vibe is much more laid back and chill.

    2. Pretty much any of them can give you that experience, especially if you go early in the day. I like Vdara as a hotel because it doesn’t reek of smoke like the casino-hotels. But the pool area there is extremely blah IMO. I think the pool at Caesar’s is really nice.

    3. Depends on time of day/day of the week. Vegas is a late rising kind of place since everyone stays up all night partying; it doesn’t really get going the next day until 12-2 pm. As an east coast person who never time adjusts when I’m there, I feel like I get places to myself in the morning and even more true on Monday-Thursday mornings when the only crowd that’s in town is really there for conferences so they aren’t hanging out by the pool at 10 am. So if you’re looking to hang by the pool from say 10 am-1 pm, you can legit get that atmosphere anywhere even the big hotels like the Bellagio. Obviously all bets are off Friday-Sunday because there are just a ton more people in town expressly there to party – those days you may want to focus on the quieter hotels like Vdara or Four Seasons.

    4. Yes, the Wynn pools are lovely, secluded and have quick and friendly poolside service.

  11. What are you wearing to beachy summer weddings this year? I ordered a dress from Anthro but it’s been back ordered for a month and they keep pushing back the shipping date. I haven’t seen anything else there that I love and would be flattering on short curvy me. Would love to hear what everyone else is wearing!

    2. Depending on the formality, a slightly fancier rufflepuff dress (not the Nap Dress) or a long floral dress from Yumi Kim.

  12. Help me decide what color sofa to buy! I know I want a color (not a gray or beige) but I can’t find a great upholstery choice. I was thinking maybe a green or blue performance velvet-type fabric but when I check the fabric selections at stores like Room and Board or Crate & Barrel, the fabrics are pretty meh. Does anyone have a sofa with fabric that you can recommend? I’m really looking to avoid white or mid tone gray/beige colors.

      1. Oh, and the rest of the room is honey oak and navy, with orange, yellow, and gray-blue accents.

    2. Just ordered the avondale sofa from crate and barrel in the “rose” color Mabel (velvet) fabric. The swatch was so pretty and I’m excited. I’m also so “over” gray and beige sofas!

    3. I have a dark teal couch that I love and I think is very easy to work with a lot of colors. I actually have owned two couches in this color. The first was a cheap-t one I bought right out of college and passed on to a cousin when I wanted something a little nicer and sturdier. She still has that one and it is still looking cute on her insta. I bought another sofa in the same color from Weirs

    4. I just went through the process of ordering fabric samples.

      Interior Define has many performance velvet color options.

      Sabai has just a few but may happen to have one you like.

    6. Love my slate blue from Room & Board. It’s sort of velvet. Kid friendly. Just outside of neutral.

    7. I have an indigo blue couch and I love it. I’m SO glad I didn’t go with grey like I was originally thinking.

  13. I’m meeting a college friend who I haven’t seen in over 20 years for a girls weekend! (Don’t come at me, she wanted to go stg.) I want to bring some fun snacks for the room, since we will have a great balcony with rocking chairs and I know we will want to spend time catching up with each other. I love everything – healthy, junk food, all of it. What snacks would make you happy? I am bringing 2 bottles of champagne and some non-alcoholic drinks, and there is a mini fridge in the room. Dinners are already planned – it’s a full service resort but secluded and insanely pricey.

        1. It was a serious suggestion! Everyone likes different things. If I were your friend and we were taking a trip together, I would want you to ask me what food I like (if you didn’t already know) rather than polling a large group of people about their preferences.

    3. Cans of wine instead of bottles (easier to store in the mini fridge!), Dots pretzels, peanut M&Ms or TJ’s mini peanut butter cups, shelled pistachios, bag of the small honeycrisp apples from Trader Joe’s, Trader Joe’s precut cheese assortments (sometimes they have a spanish one that’s really good).

      2. I actually really like Bota Box’s Cabernet if you’re a red wine drinker. Supposedly their rosé is good too.

    4. Did y’all love any candy or food in college? if so, bring at least some of that.

      1. +1 candy to trigger nostalgia, truffle oil popcorn, chocolate-covered pretzels, dry pepperoni, snap peas

    5. Wasabi peas, stuffed olives, brie wheel paired with strawberry jam, honey goat cheese paired with hot pepper jelly. Have fun catching up!

      2. Wasabi peas are the bomb! Also love peanut butter stuffed pretzel bites.

    6. Nuun or some other electrolyte tablet may be a good idea? Chocolate covered strawberries seem like a fun treat if they fit in the fridge.

    7. Does she like fancier snacks or relatively simple food? I’m one of those people people that’s happiest eating cheddar goldfish and yet I wouldn’t say that to a friend lest they feel like she never gets away from her kids. So I’d say some simple [but not kid] snacks – M&Ms; pita chips; potato chips; peanuts/cashews.

    9. Cheese, fancy crackers like raincoast crisps at Whole Foods (I think that’s what they’re called?), some kind of dip, pretzels (I always want pretzels when I drink idk why), marcona almonds, something sweet like cookies or tiny cupcakes.

    10. Hummus, guacamole, cheese and olives with crisps and crackers and veggies. I would prefer chacuterie style snacks over sweet things.

      Don’t get very temperature sensitive stuff, though. I don’t think hotel fridges are food safety cold, just beverage cooling cold.

  14. I’m in a reading rut and the only thing that’s gonna pull me out of it is something on the lighter side. If I like Elin Hilderbrand for a beach read, what else would you recommend? I tried Nancy Thayer, and quickly decided that her style is too sweet and wholesome, lol.

    1. I am exactly the same way. Try Rosaline Palmer Takes the Cake.
      Have you read Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo? I loved that too.

      1. I love Taylor Jenkins Reid. Seven Husbands is my favorite but Daisy Jones and the Six is also great.

        1. Malibu Rising is also good. Basically everything she’s written fits the bill – light enough, but with a darker edge.

    2. Jasmine Guillory is always a safe pick for me. I didn’t love the Elin Hilderbrand I read, but I also don’t think Jasmine is super sweet or wholesome. Definitely some spicy stuff.

      1. I’m always so thrilled when someone mentions her because she is a friend-of-a-friend! She is the loveliest, kindest, smartest person and I’m so happy she’s had so much success.

        1. Oh my gosh – my friend and I love her books! She’s coming to DC as part of her latest book tour and the email that tickets were available hadn’t been in my inbox for more than 15 minutes before I had purchased my tickets. It’s so nice to hear that she’s as nice as she seems on social!

          1. She is super nice (and I don’t say that about a plurality of the well-known/famous people I know IRL).

        2. I am so glad someone recommended her here recently, I binged her books just recently and had a lot of fun!

    3. My go tos for this are the Stephanie Plum novels by Janet Evanovich (not romances, a little sexy but mostly hilarious, definitely some ridiculous stereotypes though) or anything by Terry Pratchett (funny). There is also Jeannie Lin for light historical romance.

      1. The Stephanie Plum noels are a lot sexy I think, at least the early ones. :) But yes definitely not “romance” in the sense of the romance genre.

    4. I read Book Lovers by Emily Henry and LOVED it! I need to read more smart chicklit/romance because it was a delight.

    7. Liane Moriarty’s books are always fun, a little mysterious and not too dark, but will keep you guessing.

  15. I hope you and your kiddo had a restful and happy Mother’s Day. I’ve been thinking of you guys. Sending love and health!

  16. Have you ever had a job that required so little work/so little quality work that you ended up becoming lazy and losing your work ethic? Was it fixable at a subsequent job or did you just stay lazy like that?

    1. Yes, my current job. I can meet minimum expectations doing about 5-10 hours per week of actual work and I very rarely work more than that. With work from home, it’s actually kind of nice because I don’t have to sit in an office for a bunch of time when I’m not working and I have a lot more time for hobbies and exercise. I can take more trips than I used to because it’s possible to be on vacation (in a nearby time zone, at leasta) without doing much work or using any vacation time. I think I could get less lazy if I had an interesting and demanding job, but also I feel like I have a good situation now (especially for the stage of life I’m in with little kids and a pretty exhausting non-work life) so it would take a lot to get me to switch jobs in the near term.

    2. One job several years ago went through a very slow spell where I could spend most of my day browsing online, reading, socializing, going for walks, whatever. I had no measurable deliverables to make, but strong job security and a vague notion that things would pick up eventually in a year or so. The slack drove me bananas in the meantime. I dislike long-term intense roles with no down time, but I also dislike slow ones. Moving into another role after the slow one, I had to spend a week or so breaking some bad habits but it was not terrible and I was happy to be productive again.

      I have had coworkers, on the other hand, for whom those lazy jobs really are the highest and best use of their skills. They are not bad people, just cannot be depended on to grow. My current workplace has an employee like this. She sometimes complains about the lack of upward mobility and the pay ceiling, but she never takes the initiative to do more than the bare minimum in spite of many opportunities for professional growth that would result in raises and more interesting work. Her job is an entry level role that just needs a warm body to fill it so mediocrity is fine. At least we do not need to constantly train new hires for that position.

      1. “At least we do not need to constantly train new hires for that position.”

        Yeah, I gotta give a shout-out to the folks who stay in menial positions treading water – at least it keeps the rest of us from having to go through filling and re-filling the position over and over, which is honestly a huge help to the rest of us. We had an “entry-level” position in my last job that was seen as just a stepping stone into the organization and reliably, every 11-14 months, the person we hired would get a different, better job in the organization and leave and we’d have to backfill. People got so frustrated that we proposed either A. having a continuous pipeline of candidates at-the-ready so we could just pop someone into the job when the incumbent left, or B. filling the position with temps. Our suggestions weren’t taken, sadly.

    3. Ooooh following with great interest because this describes my current job that I’ve been in now for 3 years.

      1. This describes my job of freaking seven years. Hate it and who I have become but one thing after another has kept me here from not being able to find another job a few years ago to well it’s only two more years until I’m vested to a pandemic where I’m one of the ones fearful of stepping out into the world still. I kind of feel like this is it though; like I feel like I will be looking later this year, pandemic or not in huge part because I do fear that if this goes on for too much longer, I won’t be able to step back into the real world.

        1. FWIW, I’ve asked a version of this question here before and the answers from people who had been in this situation were all that they were able to return to normal after getting better jobs. I still have hope.

        2. While I’m sure it feels like it, I highly doubt that later in life you’ll regret staying some place a few extra years to get vested; that’s one of the things that 65 year olds often regret – jumping ship and letting their pension/retirement go. Future you will thank you.

        3. As someone who had to grit my teeth through the last two years of a vesting period – stay and get vested. You will absolutely regret it if you don’t. I was hanging on by my fingernails in the last few months before vesting but I hung on, and I now have people who left that organization before they got vested tell me wistfully how much they regret jumping ship too early. The time will pass and on the other side of the two years you’ll have the money, which will give you better options later. Hang in there.

    4. I had a one-year job that I got promoted out of that was like this, and most of last year in my current job was like this.

      In both instances, I let the lack of meaningful, time-consuming work drive me crazy and I got really in my head about “I’m wasting my life and my talent, what am I even doing with myself” before I realized: this is what I have always said I dreamed of – a job where I got paid for doing nothing. Especially with my current job, where I WFH, it meant that a ton of time was my own every week (as Anon at 12:53 said, I could do my job last year in seriously about 5-10 hours a week). I started doing some remote volunteer work, I took some online classes I’d never had time to take, I worked on a couple of “nice-to-have” projects that my boss said people had considered, but never done. I also took time to just…not work. I read books in my hammock. I took my dogs for long walks. I watched movies. Etc.

      The ending of this story is that one of the “nice-to-have” projects I did to kill time and maybe get a pat on the back ended up catching the attention of one of my c-suite execs, who got really excited about expanding the project and deploying it organization-wide, and now this year my job is anything but laid-back. I have a ton more work and very few weeks where I’m not working 40-50 hours a week. TBH I prefer how it was last year and sometimes kick myself for being such a goody-two-shoes little go-getter that I just haaaaaad to do that stupid project everyone loved. I guess it’s job security? In any case, OP, make the most of this time. Learn new stuff. Help people who need help. Work on something you’ve never had time to work on before. This may not last forever, and when it’s gone, you might miss it.

  17. Hi Seattle Area ‘rettes! How much are you paying for per unit for Botox? I paid $16 or $17 last year in downtown Seattle. Wanted to see if that is reasonable. Also, who do you use? Seattle or Bellevue south of 520 preferred.

  18. Random question – I am looking for a house but not super actively; this is in the DC/Va area where property goes fast so if you’re not all in/seeing houses the minute they’re listed you’re not getting one. I had done an initial call with a broker, who is listed in Va. Magazine etc. and they had set up an MLS listing for me to get listings. Very little has been coming thru – like maybe one or two houses every week or two, so I was like ok well everyone says low inventory. Went to redfin just now out of curiosity and there are a handful of additional listings that fall into my general criteria that I never got. Do I assume they set up the search wrong? Or is it something about their access to listings/them pushing certain listings over others? Once you get with a broker do you still have to search for your own listings too?

    Clearly I’m a first time buyer but feel dumb that I’ve been sitting here for months being like oh there’s no inventory when there clearly is more than I realized [not tons still but not exactly one home every two weeks either]. WWYD?

    1. I recently went through this process and sadly yes, you do have to continue looking at listings yourself. The broker just helps you when you find a house you want. They can be really useful in helping you craft a successful buying strategy when you’re in a competitive market.

      1. Any idea why their system wouldn’t spit out every listing that matches your criteria? Is there some human element where they only send you the ones they think you want or is it something about the algorithms? Because now all the talk of – oh we can get you in to see houses before they are officially listed/make sure you’re the first to see it so you make the first offer – just sound like BS. I mean if you can’t even get me what’s publicly listed, why do I trust you can get me anything else? Clearly I’m feeling iffy about this guy now.

        1. Yeah I get it. If he promised you he could find you stuff before it’s listed and he’s not doing that, that’s disappointing. Maybe he has the impression you’re not super serious? Or maybe he’s waiting to pull out all the stops when he finds whatever he thinks is perfect for you?

          1. I feel like in fast moving markets like DC if you reach out to them and ask to get on listings etc. but really aren’t reaching out to them every other day saying ok I want a showing here, how do we get in first here – they just stand back until they start hearing from you. They don’t know if you’re someone who is just wanting to look at listings to do your research for a buy next year, which is totally fine, or if you’re someone who actually is going to pull the trigger in the next month as you are going from house to house all the time and obviously they are focused on those interested in buying next month.

        2. I found Redfin WAY more user friendly than the MLS auto generated emails my Broker sent me, just in terms of basics like formatting. You can set up the exact same alert in Redfin and you’ll get the emails daily/instantly as houses are listed.

          Also, my parents just sold their house before it ever hit MLS. They hired a guy at a great shop with a strong reputation – found him via word of mouth/neighbors who used him. He posted “coming soon” on his Insta gram page with an exterior shot only and they had four showings and 2 offers that night, all done over Insta DMs. Signed, sealed, delivered, done and over the would-be asking price, all cash and no inspection/noncontingent – the listing never even went live, my parents never staged for an open house, barely cleaned up/decluttered after nearly 40 years of occupancy. So, that’s real and it happens a lot (I’m in Greater Boston fwiw), but you need a great buyer’s agent who is well connected and follows Insta pages, for example. Your person does not seem like it. Get a recommendation from a friend/colleague, not a magazine.

    2. yeah, you need to keep doing your own legwork.

      FWIW I don’t think local magazines are very trustworthy sources. Word of mouth is what you want.

    3. 1) Show your realtor those listings that were missing and say “How do we adjust the search parameters so I’m getting more options? I noticed X and Y houses that I would have liked but didn’t pop up in my emails.”

      2) Regardless keep looking on your own. The realtor’s big help is during the showing/ negotiating/ buying process rather than the first part of searching.

      1. Different poster – how do you know if someone is really a buyer’s agent? They all represent themselves as both when trying to get you to go with them. But like OP I’ve had similar experiences and then it clicked that the coworker who referred me to this guy used him to buy an investment property that they searched for on their own and he just came in for the offer/negotiation part, so they never really knew how he was with first time buyers looking for their actual home.

    5. How quickly do you want to move? Does your broker/agent know this deadline?
      Your broker (buyer’s agent) should be thinking about you and telling you about properties coming on the market — in my area (hot market outside of NYC) agents go to broker open houses before a property is officially on the market and already have an idea of who among their pool of buyers would be interested. My friend in this hot market didn’t even have to list her house a few weeks ago — her seller’s agent worked their network and got 6 offers on a house that wasn’t even listed (and the offer came from a buyer’s agent in another real estate agency). I know of several other properties transacted that way.
      I bought in a tough market in summer 2020 and my buyer’s agent worked that way for my family… telling me this is coming on the market, or this one is quick sale, etc. I was working with one agent prior to that who was very laid back — I made the switch and closed on a house within 4 months of making the switch. Sometimes the agent isn’t right for what you need.

    6. In the non-competitive market we bought in ages ago, our agent was like this. I don’t recall that we ever looked at a single house he found for us since none of them fit our parameters. We looked at about 40 houses altogether, all of which we either found ourselves or saw while driving with him to visit another one we had found ourselves. He handled the offer process and coordinated the closing for us, but that was it.

      In this market, I think you need to decide if you really want to buy or if you are just browsing. If you are serious, I would form a relationship with a broker who actively sells in the neighborhood you are interested in, let them know your parameters, and ask them to alert you of anything coming to market. You do need to be ready to act quickly and decisively.

    7. When I worked with a realtor and I asked about listings I saw but that she hadn’t brought to my attention she had a pretty good answer about each of them, mainly that they required a lot of work that I didn’t want to do or would have put them over my budget.

    9. So did you talk to the broker or an agent? Or is this a situation where the broker is the agent (aka set up his own shop and is the only one)? I was an agent in NoVA, and I ask because a broker of a big shop is going to be removed from the actual goings on of the immediate market most likely. A broker’s job in this specific market is usually to manage the brokerage and is usually might lighter on actually assisting clients. Now if you are from an urban market, you may be using the term broker to mean agent as I think that is how agents are sometimes referred to in urban markets.

      Regardless, I was always able to set up the MLS search to pull what my clients wanted but, spoiler alert, my clients were often showing my listings they found on their own that did not actually fit into their criteria (e.g., no contingent listings and they are showing me contingent listings). If you want a better search, talk to your agent to get the search set up to show what you actually want. I will echo though that the MLS formatting is trash and, at least when I was in RE, not user friendly so you might as well browse redfin or whatever anyway for ease of use.

      I’ll also echo those magazine things are not a great representation of who is actually a good agent. You can pay your way into that stuff so definitely talk to people who have bought in your market and get referrals.

    10. I had one of the best agents in my area, very connected, and the house I bought wasn’t one he brought to me. I found it on MLS. It had been out of my price range at the beginning of my search, it sold and went into escrow and I never saw it. Then it popped back up on MLS with a slightly reduced price when it fell out of escrow. In the meantime my upper bound price had increased so it was now in range for me. I called him on a random Tuesday and asked him to take me to see it, we made an offer that day before it could go on the broker open house tour Thursday.

      Yes even with the best agent/broker, you will most likely need to find your house yourself, and act quickly!

  19. When you’re dating someone how much do you pay for stuff vs them? I started dating a guy a few months ago and he definitely wants to pay for something – I know I make more than him and I often offer, but he usually just says he’s got it. I find it really sweet, and I know he knows I’m not trying to mooch off him, but I’m just generally curious. And this is just for meals / event tickets, not bigger things like a trip.

    1. I’ve been with my bf for about a year and I make a good deal more than him but we still trade off. I’m good at grabbing the check from the waiter but let him pay for dinners too. Most of the time he’ll pay for dinner and I’ll pay for breakfast.

    2. We tend to default to – the person whose house we’re staying at pays for delivery and groceries including alcohol, he pays if we’re out and we just get drinks, we generally alternate paying for meals out. If he’s cool with how things are going I would just keep going along, it’s not like any of these things re a huge budget breaking expense.

    3. I would go every second time, or whatever split that makes it halves in proportion to income if there’s a big difference. (You earn more and want to go super fancy? You pay, and vice versa.) I’m in Scandi, so the US social norms do no apply here. Would not date a man who insisted on paying for everything because he’s a man.

      1. Yeah that’s fair. He’s funnily enough the most socially/politically liberal in other things, cooks well, keeps a nice apartment etc – so I’m not going to see this one thing as a negative.

    4. This is from many many moons ago, but when I was dating, I had a general rule that the person who planned the date paid. So if I was seeing someone semi-regularly, I made a point to ask him out for specific things that I was comfortable paying for. This helped smooth out income disparities a lot. When I was a broke dancer, I could make dinner, buy tickets for an inexpensive performance or a movie, or meet for lunch or drinks instead of dinner. When I moved into the corporate world, I could treat to nicer dinners or more costly tickets. Either way, I felt some control over the situation. It also allowed me to start the money talk fairly organically, which was helpful.

      1. I’ve always found “who plans the date pays” a bit confusing. If its a specific performance, that’s clear-cut, and you probably would just buy the tickets anyways as a matter of convenience, but when its just “hey lets meet for dinner where should we go” who really planned that date?

    5. I make significantly more than my boyfriend and he’s been trying to save up for a house and is worried about money at the moment. We tend to take turns picking up meals and concert tickets, though I might try to snag the more expensive meals (i.e., dinner over brunch). For weekends away I’m trying to pick up hotels by using points (or points and cash, but he thinks it’s just points) so that he doesn’t feel like he has to say no to fun trips if he’s worried about money and I can pick slightly nicer hotels. I want to make sure I don’t feel like his sugar momma, but also want to make sure that we can still do the fun things we want to without him feeling like he can’t afford our lifestyle. So far it’s working out well, though does involve a little strategy on my end.

    6. For context, our salaries are in the same ballpark (+/- 10%) and we’ve been together for about a year. Early on when we were dating, we made a concerted effort to keep everything as close to 50/50 as possible. Over time, we’ve become less strict about it. We still split big-ticket items (event tickets, hotel stays, etc.) down the middle, but for smaller day-to-day things like meals, we’ve evolved into just taking turns. There aren’t strict rules – maybe he adds something to my grocery cart then covers my coffee later; maybe I pay for lunch and he pays for dinner, etc. We plan to get engaged later this year, so we’re slowly moving towards a more shared approach to our finances.

      I will say that I think the “right” approach to this is highly dependent on how closely matched you are in earnings. In a previous relationship, the guy made ~2x what I did (I was in graduate school at the time), and I just could not keep up with his spending. We tried a strict 50/50 approach, and it was a constant source of trouble in that relationship (me feeling broke or unable to participate; him feeling held back by my budget). It’s going to be different for every couple, and might change over time as your relationship and finances evolve.

  20. Does anyone have a recommendation for a slim wallet for men? DH has used one that’s basically a card holder with a money clip, but it’s looking pretty tattered so I’m on the market for an alternative. He basically carries his ID, a few cards and a few bills and that’s it.

    2. I bought my husband a really nice one last fall from leftcoastoriginal on Etsy. Heartily recommend.

  21. Advice on not going crazy from quarantining with COVID? My symptoms are mostly gone except for congestion, but I am on Day 2 of being alone in my room and some anxiety/stir-crazy feelings are definitely setting in. I’m also worried about getting depressed. What would you guys do if you had to be stuck in your room for up to 10 days?

    1. I would put on a super well-fitting mask, not touch anything in the apartment and leave to get fresh air/go for a walk somewhere where I could avoid other people. Read and watch tv. Clean out closets/drawers. Organize pictures on my phone, etc. (assuming you don’t have work that needs to be done).

    2. If you’re up to it, maybe it’s a good time start trying a stretching routine or meditation or whatever other gentle physical movement routine?

      1. The Peloton app has a 30 day free trial program. It has stretching, yoga, mediation and other things like standing barre that can be done in a small room or apartment. Good luck!

    3. Why do you have to be stuck for 10 days? CDC guidance is 5 if your symptoms are gone.

      1. She said “up to,” so let’s assume she is planning to test negative before leaving isolation.

    4. Good time to start one of the yoga journeys with Adriene, if you like yoga. Self-gardeing could be a win.
      And if you’ve ever wanted to binge four seasons of something, now’s the time.
      I would try and make a routine (and fail), but I would spend as little time in my bed as possible apart from nighttime.

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